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Peer-E-Kamil (The Perfect Mentor)

- By Umera Ahmed

Translation By, Shaikh Danish

Wattpad : https://www.wattpad.com/user/Danish1801

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/a_guy_with_imaan?igsh=MXkwNnRsdGo0NnNtcQ==

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 CHAPTER 1

"Zindagi ki sab se bari khwahish?" Usme gehri soch mein par gai, qalam apne
honthon ke darmiyan. Phir ek lambi saans le kar, usne halka sa muskurate hue kaha,
"Kehna mushkil hai..."

"Kyun mushkil hai?" Javeria ne us se poocha.

"Kyunkay bohot si cheezein hain jo mein chahti hoon, aur har ek mere liye bohot
zaroori hai," usne sar hilate hue jawab diya.

Dono auditorium ke door daraz kone mein bethi thi, apni peeth deewar se laga kar.
Ye unka F.Sc. ke classes ka aathwan din tha aur unhon ne apna free period wahan
guzar raha tha. Namak walay moong phalian aik aik kar ke khati hue, Javeria ne apna
sawal dohra diya. "Tumhari zindagi ki sab se bari khwahish kya hai, Imama?"

Imama ne kuch hairani se uski taraf dekha aur sawal par sochne lagi. Phir sawal ko
talte hue, usne kaha, "Tum pehle apni sab se bari khwahish batao."

"Maine pehle poocha tha, isliye tumhe pehle jawab dena chahiye," Javeria ne jawab
diya.

"Theek hai...sochne do," Imama ne haar maan li. "Meri zindagi ki sab se bari
khwahish..." usne apne aap se kaha.

"Ek khwahish to ye hai ke mein lambi umar paoon...bohot lambi," usne kaha.

"Kyun?" Javeria hans di. "Pachaas ya saath saal mere liye bohot kam hain. Insan ko
kam az kam ek sau saal jeena chahiye. Aur itni sari cheezein hain jo mein karna
chahti hoon. Agar mein jaldi mar gayi to meri sab khwahishen adhoori reh jayengi."
Usne moong phali apne munh mein dali.

"Aur kya?" Javeria ne kaha.

"Mein mulk ki sab se behtareen doctor banna chahti hoon-sab se achi eye specialist,
taake jab Pakistan mein aankhon ke operation ki tareekh likhi jaye, to mera naam sab
se pehle aaye." Usne muskurate hue kaha.

"Agar tum doctor na ban saki to? Akhirkar, yeh merit aur kismet par depend karta
hai," Javeria ne kaha.

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"Yeh na-mumkin hai. Mein itni mehnat kar rahi hoon ke merit list mein aa jaoon. Aur
agar yahan medical college mein nahi mili to mere parents mujhe bahar bhej sakte
hain."

"Magar phir bhi, agar tum doctor na ban saki to?"

"Yeh na-mumkin hai. Yeh meri zindagi ki sab se bari khwahish hai: mein is ke liye sab
kuch qurbaan kar sakti hoon. Yeh mera purana khwab hai, aur koi apne khwabon ko
kaise bhool sakta hai? Na-mumkin!" Imama ne pur azm se sar hilate hue apni hatheli
se moong phali uthai aur nibble karne lagi.

"Zindagi mein kuch bhi na-mumkin nahi hota-kuch bhi kabhi bhi ho sakta hai. Agar
tumhari yeh khwahish puri na hui to tum kya karo gi?"

Imama phir se soch mein par gayi. "Sab se pehle, mein bohot roongi...bohot
zyada...kai din tak-aur phir mar jaoongi."

Javeria hans pari. "Tumne abhi kaha ke tum lambi zindagi chahti ho, aur ab tum
marna chahti ho."

"Zahir hai. Phir jeene ka kya faida? Meri sari plans meri medical career par hain aur
agar yeh meri zindagi ka hissa nahi bani to kya bacha?"

"To tumhari zindagi ki ek khwahish tumhari sari doosri khwahishon ko mita degi?"

"Haan, ise hi samjho."

"To tumhari sab se bari khwahish doctor banna hai, lambi umar jeena nahi?"

"Yeh kaha ja sakta hai."

"Theek hai-agar tum doctor nahi ban saki to phir tum marne ka kaise socho gi?
Khudkushi ya qudrati maut?"

"Qudrati maut bilkul. Mein khudkushi nahi kar sakti," Imama ne casually jawab diya.

"Agar tum qudrati maut nahi mari, to phir kya? Mera matlab hai, agar tum doctor
nahi ban saki aur phir bhi jaldi nahi mari, to tum jeeti raho gi."

"Nahi. Mujhe pata hai ke agar mein doctor nahi bani to mein bohot jaldi mar
jaoongi. Mein itni dil shikasta ho jaoongi ke zinda nahi reh paoongi," usne pur azm
se jawab diya.

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"Ye maan na mushkil hai ke tum jaisi khush mizaj shakhsiyat itni mayoos ho sakti hai
ke apne aap ko rone se maar sakti ho. Aur wo bhi sirf is liye ke tum medical career
nahi bana saki. Ye bohot ajeeb lagta hai," Javeria ne mazaq banaya.

"Meri baat chor do. Tum apni bato. Tumhari dil ki sab se bari khwahish kya hai?"
Imama ne topic change kiya.

"Chor do..."

"Chor do kyun? Chalo batao..."

"Tumhe bura lagega agar meine kaha."

Javeria ne hichkichahat se kaha.

Imama hairan ho kar uski taraf ghumi. "Mujhe kyun bura lagega?"

Javeria chup rahi.

"Aisi kya cheez hai jo mujhe bura lagega?" Imama ne sawal dohraya.

"Tumhe lagega..." Javeria ne dheemi awaaz mein kaha.

"Tumhari zindagi ki sab se bari khwahish mere zindagi ko kyun itna mutasir karegi ke
mujhe bura lage?" Imama irritate hui. "Kya tumhari khwahish ye hai ke mein doctor
na banoon?" Imama ko achanak yaad aaya.

"Aray nahi!" Javeria hans pari. "Zindagi mein doctor banne ke siwa bhi bohot kuch
hai," usne philosophical andaaz mein kaha.

"Pehli baat chhor kar jawab do," Imama ne firmly kaha. "Mein wada karti hoon ke
mujhe bura nahi lagega. She held out her hand in a gesture of peace.

"Tumhare wada ke bawajood tum bohot gussa ho jao gi jab tum suno gi jo mein
kehne wali hoon. Chalo kuch aur baat karte hain," Javeria ne jawab diya.

"Theek hai-mujhe guess karne do. Tumhari khwahish kuch aisi cheez se judi hai jo
mere liye bohot qeemati hai, theek?" Imama ne thoda sochne ke baad poocha.

Javeria ne sar hila diya.

"Sawal yeh hai: meri liye itni ahem cheez kya hai ke mujhe...?" usne sentence adhoora
chhor diya. "Lekin jab tak mujhe tumhari khwahish ka pata nahi chalega, mein koi
nateejay par nahi pohnch sakti. Javeria, please batao. Mujhse intezar nahi hota," usne
guzaris ki.

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Javeria soch mein gum thi. Imama ne uska chehra dekha. Thodi der baad Javeria ne
uski taraf dekha. "Meri career ke siwa, meri zindagi mein ek hi cheez bohot qeemati
hai," Imama ne us se kaha, "aur agar tum is context mein kuch kehna chahti ho to
kaho. Mujhe bura nahi lagega." Imama serious thi.

Javeria hairan ho gai. Imama apni ungli mein pehni hui anguthi ko dekh rahi thi.
Javeria ke chehre par muskurahat aagai. "Meri zindagi ki sab se bari khwahish yeh hai
ke tum...." Javeria ne apne khayalat ka izhar kiya.

Imama ka chehra sadme se safaid ho gaya. Javeria ko andaza nahi tha ke uske alfaz
ka Imama par kya asar hoga, magar Imama ke chehre ke izhar se saaf tha ke re-
action uske umeed se bohot zyada tha. "Maine kaha tha na ke tumhe bura lagega,"
Javeria ne situation ko sambhalne ki koshish ki, magar Imama bina kuch kahe uski
taraf dekhti rahi.

Moiz dard se cheekh raha tha, dohra ho kar apne pait ko pakde hue.
Barah saal ka ladka jo uske samne tha, apni naak se khoon apni phati hui qameez ke
astin se saaf karte hue, apne haath mein tennis ka racquet le kar Moiz ki taang par
maara.
Moiz ne ek aur cheekh maari aur seedha khada ho gaya. Usne be-yaqini se apne
bhai ki taraf dekha-jo usse do saal chhota tha-jo usse wahi racquet se maar raha tha
jo Moiz wahan le kar aaya tha.
Ye is hafta ka teesra jhagra tha, aur har dafa uska chhota bhai jhagra shuru karta tha.
Moiz aur uske bhai ka kabhi acha rishta nahi raha aur bachpan se hi ladte rehte the.
Lekin unki jhagray zyadatar zabani hotay the aur dhamkiyon tak mehdood rehte the,
lekin ab yeh jhagray fizikal ban gaye the.
Aaj bhi yahi hua. Wo dono school se saath wapas aaye the. Jab wo gari se utare,
chhote bhai ne apna bag bonnet se zor se khincha jab Moiz apna school bag utha
raha tha. Is process mein, usne Moiz ke haath ko choat pohanchai, jis se Moiz dard
se chilaa utha.
"Deekhne se andhay ho gaye ho?" Moiz ne cheekh kar kaha jab uska bhai be-parwah
chal diya. Usne Moiz ki awaaz suni, peechay murh kar dekha, phir agay barh kar front
door khola, aur lounge mein chala gaya. Ghusse se bhara Moiz uske peechay chal
diya.
"Agle dafa agar aisa kiya to tera haath tod doonga!" Moiz cheekha.
Chhota ladka apna bag utar kar, neeche rakh kar, haath kamar par rakh kar Moiz ka

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samna karta hua bola, "Main karoonga-ab kya kar le ga? Haath tor de ga? Tere paas
himmat hai?" "Pata chal jayega agar aaj jaisa phir kiya to." Moiz apne kamray ki taraf
barha.
Lekin uska bhai usay rokte hue, uska bag zor se pakad liya. "Nahi-abhi bata." Usne
Moiz ka bag phenk diya. Ghusse se bhara Moiz ne apne bhai ka bag uthaya aur door
phenk diya. Bina rukay, uske bhai ne Moiz ke paer par zor se maar diya. Moiz ne us
par hamla kiya, uska chehra ghonsa mara, aur uski naak se khoon behne laga. Iske
bawajood, chhote bhai ne ek awaz bhi nahi nikali. Usne Moiz ki tie pakad kar usay
ghoonthne ki koshish ki. Moiz ne jawab mein uski qameez ka collar pakad liya-
qameez phatne ki awaz aayi. Poori taqat se, Moiz ne uske pait par maar diya taake
uski pakad chhuta de. "Ab tujhe dikhaunga! Tera haath tod doonga!" Moiz cheekhta
hua aur gaaliyan deta hua corner mein rakha tennis racquet uthaya. Agla scene ye
tha ke racquet uske bhai ke haath mein tha aur itni zor se mara ke Moiz bach nahi
saka. Uspar maar peet shuru ho gayi, uski peeth aur taangon par.
Unka bada bhai lounge mein ghusse se aaya.
"Tumhara masla kya hai? Tum ghar aate hi hamesha hungama kyun machate ho!"
Uski awaaz sun kar, chhote bhai ne pehle racquet neeche kiya aur phir wapas uthaya.
"Aur tum-kya tumhein sharam nahi aati ke apne bade bhai par haath uthate ho?"
Sab se bada bhai uske haath ki taraf dekhta hua bola.
"Nahi," usne bina kisi pashemani ke jawab diya. Usne racquet zameen par phenk
diya, apna bag uthaya aur chala gaya.
"Tujhe iski keemat chukani padegi," Moiz ne cheekhte hue kaha, apni dard se chhurti
hui taang ko malte hue.
"Zaroor, kyun nahi!" Usne Moiz ko ajeeb si muskurahat di. "Agli dafa bat lana. Tennis
racquet se maza nahi aaya-koi haddi nahi tooti." "Apni naak check kar-wo to zaroor
tooti hogi." Ghusse se bhara Moiz ne seedhiyon ki taraf dekha jahaan uska bhai
thodi der pehle khada tha.

Chauthi martaba, Mrs. Samantha Richards ne phir se us larke ko dekha jo pehli chair
par doosri line mein window ke pass baitha tha. Woh baghair kisi parwa ke, bahar
dekh raha tha. Kabhi kabhi woh Mrs. Richards ko dekhta aur phir wapas window se
bahar dekhne lagta.**

Yeh unka pehla din tha Islamabad ke aik international school mein biology teacher
ke tor par. Woh aik diplomat ki biwi aur pesay se teacher thi. Unka abhi kuch arsa

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pehle Islamabad ana hua tha. Har aik posting par, unhon ne embassy se attached
schools mein teaching assignments liye thay.

Apni pehle walay teacher Ms. Mariam ka syllabus aur teaching schedule continue
karte huay, aik mukhtasir introduction ke baad Mrs. Richards ne heart aur circulation
system ke functions samjhane shuru kiye aur board par aik diagram draw kiya.

Unhon ne us larke ki taraf dekha jo ab bhi window ke bahar dekh raha tha, aur aik
purana tareeqa istemal karte huay, unhon ne apni nazar us par thehra di aur bolna
band kar diya. Class mein aik khamoshi chha gayi. Larka phir se class ki taraf mud
gaya. Uski nazar milate huay, Mrs. Richards muskurayi aur apna lecture dobara shuru
kar diya. Kuch dair ke liye unhon ne apni nazar us larke par rakhi jo ab apni
notebook mein likhne mein masroof tha. Phir unhon ne apni tawajjo class ki taraf
mori.

Unka khayal tha ke larka ab sharminda ho gaya hoga aur apni tawajjo kahin aur nahi
bhatkaye ga, magar chand hi minutes baad unhon ne phir usko window ke bahar
dekhte huay paya. Dobara se unhon ne apna lecture roka, aur larka unki taraf dekhne
laga. Is martaba unhon ne muskuraya nahi. Unhon ne class ko address karna jaari
rakha. Jab woh dobara writing board ki taraf mudi, larka phir se window ke bahar
dekhne laga. Aik irritation ka asar unke chehre par aya aur jab woh phir se khamosh
hui, larke ne unki taraf gusse se dekha, aur phir se window ke bahar dekhne laga.

Uska attitude itna insulting tha ke Mrs. Samantha Richards ka chehra lal ho gaya.
'Salar, tum kya dekh rahe ho?' unhon ne sakhti se poocha.

'Kuch nahi,' aik lafz ka jawab aya. Usne unko aik tezi se dekha.

'Tumhe pata hai mein kya parha rahi hoon?'

'Umeed hai.' Uska lehja itna rude tha ke Samantha Richards ne apna marker bandh
kiya aur zor se table par rakha.

'Agar aisa hai, to yahan aao aur yeh diagram draw karke label karo.' Unhon ne board
par bani figure ko mita diya. Larke ka chehra rang badalne laga. Unhon ne dekha ke
class ke students aik dosre ki taraf dekhnay lage. Larke ne Samantha Richards ko
sardi se dekha. Jab unhon ne apni drawing ka akhri nishan board se saaf kiya, larka
apni seat se uth gaya. Tezi se move karte huay, usne marker uthaya aur bijli ki raftaar
se-sirf do minute aur satavan seconds mein-usne diagram draw karke label kar diya.

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Marker ka cap wapas lagate huay, usne marker zor se table par rakha, aur bina unko
dekhe apni seat par wapas chala gaya.

Mrs. Richards ne na usko marker neeche rakhte huay dekha na usko seat ki taraf
wapas jaate huay. Woh yaqeen nahi kar pa rahi thi ke diagram, jo unhon ne banane
mein das minute lagaye thay, usne kam waqt mein bna diya tha. Woh bhi itna
behtareen ke unko usmein koi ghalti nazar nahi ayi. Kuch sharminda hote huay,
unhon ne larke ki taraf dekha. Ek martaba phir se woh window ke bahar dekh raha
tha.

Waseem ne teesri dafa darwaza khatkhataya; is dafa us ne Imama ki awaz suni.

"Kaun hai?"
"Imama, main hoon. Darwaza kholo," Waseem ne peeche hote hue kaha. Andar se
khamoshi thi.
Kuch dair baad, taala khula aur Waseem ne darwaza khola. Imama apne bistar ki
taraf peeth kar ke chal padi.
"Is waqt yahan kyun aaye ho?"
"Waqt se pehle kyun so gayi ho? Abhi to das bajay hain," Waseem ne andar aate hue
jawab diya.
"Mujhe neend aa rahi thi." Wo bistar par baith gayi. Waseem ne usay dekh kar
pareshani mehsoos ki.
"Kya tum ro rahi thi?" Yeh ek ikhlaqi sawal tha. Imama ki aankhein surkh aur soji hui
thi aur wo nazar chura rahi thi.
"Nahin-nahin, main ro nahi rahi thi. Bas sar mein dard tha." Usne muskurane ki
koshish ki.
Waseem ne uske paas baith kar uska haath pakar ke uska hararat check kiya.
"Bukhaar to nahi hai?" usne fikar se poocha. Phir uska haath chhor diya. "Tumhein
bukhaar nahi hai. Shayad tumhein dard ki tablet leni chahiye."
"Main le chuki hoon."
"Achha. Phir so jao. Main tumse baat karne aaya tha magar tum is halat mein nahi
ho..." Waseem ne kamra chhorne ke liye morat leya. Imama ne usay rokne ki koshish
nahi ki. Usay darwaza band kar diya jab Waseem nikal gaya.
Bistar par let kar, usne apna chehra takiya mein chhupa liya-woh phir se ro rahi thi....

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13 saal ka ladka TV par music show dekhne mein masroof tha jab Tyyaba ne jhaanka.
Usne apne bete ko kuch dair dekha aur phir kuch pareshani se kamray mein dakhil
hui.

"Kya ho raha hai?"

"Main TV dekh raha hoon," usne baghair uski taraf dekhe jawab diya.

"TV dekh rahe ho? Khuda ke liye! Tumhein pata hai ke tumhare imtihaan shuru ho
gaye hain?" Tyyaba ne uske saamne kharay ho kar poocha.

"To kya?" usne chir kar jawab diya.

"To kya? Tumhein apne kamray mein apni kitaabein lekar hona chahiye, na ke yahan
baith kar yeh behooda show dekh rahe ho," Tyyaba ne usay daanta.

"Maine jitna parhna tha parh liya hai. Ab please raasta chhodo." Uske lehje se uski
chirchiraahat wazeh thi.

"Phir bhi, andar jao aur parho," Tyyaba apni jagah par ad gayi.

"Nahi. Main nahi uthoon ga, aur na hi andar ja kar parhoon ga. Mera parhna aur
mere papers mera masla hain, tumhara nahi."

"Agar tumhein apni parhai ki fikr hoti to kya tum yahan baithe hote?"

"Hatt jao." Usne Tyyaba ke lafzon ko nazarandaz karte hue usay rudely hatane ko
kaha.

"Main aaj tumhare walid se baat karoongi," Tyyaba ne dhamki deni ki koshish ki.

"Kar lo baat, mujhe koi faraq nahi padta. Kya hoga? Wo kya kar lenge? Main keh
chuka hoon ke maine apne imtihaan ki tayari kar li hai, to phir tumhara masla kya
hai?"

"Yeh tumhara final exam hai. Tumhein iski fikr karni chahiye." Tyyaba ne apni tone
naram kar li.

"Main chaar saal ka bacha nahi hoon jo tumhein mere peechay lagne ki zaroorat hai.
Mujhe apni zimmedariyon ka tumse behtar andaaza hai to mujhe apni fazool
naseehat se tang mat karo."

"Tumhare imtihaan chal rahe hain. Apni parhai par tawajju do. Tumhein apne kamray
mein hona chahiye. Main tumhare walid se baat karoongi!"

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"Kya bakwaas hai!" Khara hote hue usne remote control deewar par phenka aur paon
patak kar kamra chor diya. Tyyaba bebas aur zaleel mehsoos karti hui usay dekhte
rahi.

Naye Saal ki Raat thi: Naye Saal ke aaghaz se sirf tees minute pehle. Das ya is se
zyada nojawan apni motorbikes par shehr ki sadkon par shore macha rahe the, har
qisam ke stunts kar rahe the. Kuch ne naye saal ka jashan manane ke liye chamkile
headbands pehne hue the. Ek ghanta pehle woh shehr ke ek supermarket mein the,
larkiyon ko seeti maar kar ched rahe the. Un ke paas patakhe bhi the jo unhon ne
jashan ke tor par chalaye. Sawa bara baje woh Gymkhana Club ke parking lot mein
pahuche jahan ek New Year ka party zoron par thi. In larkon ke paas bhi party ke
dawat thi aur un ke walidain pehle se wahan mojood the. Jab woh andar gaye, to
bara bajne mein sirf paanch minute baqi the. Kuch hi dair mein hall aur dance floor
ki roshniyan band kar di jayengi aur lawns par aatishbazi ke saath naye saal ka khair
maqdam hoga.

Yeh party raat bhar chalegi-dancing, drinking-saari khushiyan Gymkhana

management ke taraf se is moqe ke liye khas tor par muntazim ki gayi thi. 'Lights off'
ka matlab tha poori azadi ka izhaar-yehi to log dekhne aate the. Ek nojawan jo party
join kar chuka tha, dance floor par music ke beat par rock kar raha tha aur apni
performance se sab ko impress kar raha tha. Jab bara bajne mein sirf das second
baqi the to roshniyan band ho gayi. Awazein aur qehqahon se hall bhar gaya jab log
naye saal ka shumar kar rahe the, aur yeh shor barh gaya jab ghadi ne bara bajaya
aur hall dobara roshan ho gaya. Nojawan ab parking lot mein thay, un ki car ke
horns shore macha rahe the. Beer ka can haath mein liye, woh nojawan jo dance
floor par tha, ek car ki chhat par chadh gaya. Us ne apni jacket se dusra beer can
nikala aur ek park ki hui car ke windscreen par phenk diya, jo ke zor dar dhamake se
toot gaya jab poora can us se takraya. Woh car ki chhat par khara tha, aram se apne
haath mein liye beer ka can pee raha tha....

Pichle aadhe ghante se Salar dekh raha tha ke Kamran video game khelne ki koshish
kar raha tha: score wahi ka wahi tha, shayad isliye ke Kamran mushkil track par
control karne ki koshish kar raha tha. Salar bhi lounge mein tha, notes likhne mein
masroof. Kabhi kabhi woh TV screen par nazar dalta jab Kamran zyada points hasil
karne ki koshish karta. Aadha ghanta guzarta, Salar ne apna notebook band kiya,

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jamai rokte hue, apne paon table par failaye aur haath sir ke pichhe rakh kar TV
screen par dekha jab Kamran ne naya game shuru kiya, pichla round haar chuka tha.

'Kya masla hai, Kamran?'

'Kuch nahi...yeh naya game laya hoon, lekin score karna mushkil hai,' Kamran ne
thake hue lehje mein kaha.
'Mujhe dekhne do.' Salar sofa se utha aur remote control le liya.

Kamran chup chaap dekhta raha: pehle hi seconds mein Salar us speed par race kar
raha tha jo Kamran kabhi nahi pohanch saka. Jo track Kamran ke liye mushkil tha,
woh Salar ke liye bacho ka khel tha-Kamran ke liye mushkil tha car ko dekhna jo itni
tez speed se race kar rahi thi, magar Salar ko us par poora control tha. Teen minute
baad, Kamran ne dekha car swerve hui, track se bahar chali gayi aur tukde tukde
hokar phat gayi. Kamran ne muskurate hue Salar ki taraf dekha-usse samajh aa gaya
tha ke car kyun destroy hui thi: Remote control table par rakhtay hue, Salar ne apna
notebook uthaya.

'Yeh bohot boring game hai,' usne kaha aur Kamran ke paon se uchal kar bahar
chala gaya.

Kamran ne apne daant bhinch liye jab usne screen par seven digit score dekha. Usne
darwaze ki taraf dekha jab Salar nikal gaya.

Wo dono phir se khamosh ho gaye. Asjad ko fikar hone lagi thi: Imama hamesha se
itni khamosh nahi thi jitni ab thi. Pichle aadhe ghante mein usne jitni baat ki thi woh
gin sakta tha. Usne use bachpan se jaana tha; woh ek zinda dil larki thi. Unki mangni
ke pehle saal mein, Asjad ko uski sohbat mein khushi mehsoos hoti thi-woh kitni tez
aur hoshiyaar thi. Magar pichle kuch saalon mein, woh badal gayi thi, aur yeh tabdili
tab se zyada wazeh hui thi jab se usne medical school join kiya tha. Asjad ko
mehsoos hota tha ke uske zehan mein kuch chal raha hai. Kabhi kabhi woh
fikarmand lagti aur kabhi kabhi woh itni thandi aur door door si hoti jaise woh milna
khatam karna chahti ho aur jald se jald nikalna chahti ho. Is martaba bhi usko yahi
mehsoos ho raha tha.

"Main aksar sochta hoon ke yeh sirf main hoon jo hamari mulaqat par zor deta
hoon-shayad tumhe farq nahi padta ke hum milte hain ya nahi," usne udaasi se kaha.
Woh bagh ki kursi par uske samne baithi thi, boundary wall par charhayi hui belon
ko dekh rahi thi. Asjad ke kehne par, usne apni nazar us par jama di. Usne ek

12
tafteeshi nazar dali, magar woh khamosh rahi, to usne apni baat ko dohraya. "Mera
yahan ana tumhe farq nahi dalta. Imama... kya main sahi hoon?"

"Kya keh sakti hoon?"

"Kam az kam tum keh sakti ho 'Nahi, tum ghalat ho', ke..."

"Nahi, tum ghalat ho," Imama ne uski baat kaat di. Uska lehja utna hi thanda tha aur
uska izhaar utna hi beparwa tha jitna pehle tha. Asjad ne mayoosi se saans li.

"Han, main chahta hoon aur dua karta hoon ke aisa ho, ke main waqai ghalat hoon.
Magar tumse baat karke mujhe lagta hai ke tumhe koi parwa nahi."

"Tumhe aisa kyun lagta hai?" Asjad ne uske lehje mein narazgi ka ehsas kiya.

"Bohat si cheezon ki wajah se-ek to tum kabhi theek se jawab nahi deti jo main
kehta hoon."

"Main har koshish karti hoon ke jo tum kehte ho uska theek se jawab doon. Agar
tumhe pasand nahi aata jo main kehti hoon to main kya kar sakti hoon?"

Asjad ko laga ke woh zyada naraz ho gayi hai.

"Mera matlab yeh nahi tha ke mujhe pasand nahi jo tum kehti ho: yeh ke tum sirf
'han' ya 'na' mein jawab deti ho. Kabhi kabhi, mujhe lagta hai jaise main apne aap se
baat kar raha hoon."

"Jab tum mujhse poochte ho ke main theek hoon, to main 'han' ya 'na' mein jawab
deti hoon-aur kya keh sakti hoon? Agar tumhe ek seedha sawal ke jawab mein ek
lambi kahani sunni hai to mujhe batao ke tum kya sunna chahte ho aur main woh
kahungi."

Woh sanjeeda thi.

"Tum us 'han' ya 'na' mein kuch aur bhi keh sakti ho. Agar aur kuch nahi, to mujhse
pooch lo ke main kaisa hoon."

"Tumse pooch lo ke tum kaise ho? Tum yahan mere samne baithay ho, mujhse baat
kar rahe ho-zahiri tor par tum theek ho. Warna, tum ghar mein hotay, bistar mein,
beemar."

"Imama, yeh rawaj hain..."

13
"Aur tum achi tarah se jaante ho ke main rawaj mein yakeen nahi rakhti. Tumhe
mujhse poochne ki zaroorat nahi ke main kaisi hoon; mujhe bilkul bura nahi lagega."

Asjad bol na saka.

"Theek hai. Rawaj ko choro, aur bhi baatein hoti hain, kuch discuss kar sakte hain.
Apni dilchaspiyon par baat kar sakte hain, jo humein masroof rakhta hai."

"Asjad, main tumse kya discuss karoon? Tum ek businessman ho, main ek medical
student hoon, tumse kya poochon? Stock market ke baare mein? Trend bullish tha ya
bearish? Index kitne points se barh gaya? Ya tum agle shipment kahan bhej rahe ho?
Hukumat ne tumhe is martaba kitna rebate diya?"

Woh thandi rahi.

"Ya main tumse anatomy discuss karoon? Kya liver ke function ko mutasir karta hai?
Is saal bypass surgery ke liye kaunse naye techniques istemal hui hain? Heart fail
hone par electric shocks ka voltage kitna hona chahiye? Yeh hamari fields hain, to
inke points of discussion se hum kaise mohabbat aur apnapan hasil kar sakte hain?
Main samajhne se qasir hoon."

Asjad ke chehre ka rang ghul gaya. Woh man hi man us lamhe ko kos raha tha jab
usne Imama se shikayat ki thi.

"Insaan ki zindagi mein aur bhi dilchaspiyaan hoti hain," usne kamzori se kaha.

"Nahi, mere parhai ke ilawa meri zindagi mein koi aur dilchaspi nahi," Imama ne
qatai lehje mein kaha, apna sar hilate hue.

"Aakhir humari pehle bhi kuch dilchaspiyaan thi."

"Pehle jo kuch hua usse bhool jao," Imama ne beech mein hi bola. "Ab main waqt
zaya nahi kar sakti. Mujhe hairat hoti hai ke ek businessman hote hue bhi tum itne
bachkana aur jazbati ho; tumhe zyada practical hona chahiye."

Asjad khamosh raha.

"Hum apne rishton ko jaante hain. Agar tum samajhte ho ke meri practical approach
se humare rishte mein interest ya lagan ka kami hai to main kuch nahi kar sakti.
Main yahan tumhare saath hoon, iska matlab hai ke main is rishte ko ahmiyat deti
hoon, warna main yahan chai peene ke liye kisi ajnabi ke saath nahi baithi hoti."

14
Woh ek lamha ruki, phir kaha, "Aur yeh ke tumhara yahan ana mujhe koi farq dalta
hai ya nahi, jawab yeh hai ke hum dono bohat masroof log hain. Hum modern
zamanay ke log hain. Main koi Heer nahi hoon jo tumhare liye swad banaye baithti
hoon jab tum bansuri bajate ho, aur tum koi Ranjha nahi ho jo mujhe ghanton
indulge kare. Haqiqat yeh hai ke yeh waqai koi farq nahi dalta ke hum milte hain ya
nahi. Humara rishte, jaisa aaj hai, waisa hi rahega. Ya tum samajhte ho ke yeh
badlega?"

Agar Asjad ke mathe par paseena nahi aya, to sirf isliye ke yeh December ka mahina
tha. Unke darmiyan aath saal ka farq tha, magar pehli martaba Asjad ko laga ke yeh
aath nahi balki athara saal ka farq hai-aur woh us se badi thi. Sirf do haftay pehle,
usne unnis saal complete kiye the, magar usko laga ke woh ek raat mein teenage se
middle age mein pohanch gayi hai aur woh apne pre-teens mein wapas chala gaya
hai! Woh uske samne baithi thi, tangain cross kiye aur aankhein uske chehre par
jamayi hui thi, beparwa intezar karte hue uske jawab ka. Asjad ne uski ungli mein
pehnayi hui mangni ki anguthi ko dekha aur gala saaf kiya.

"Tum theek keh rahi ho...main sirf yeh sochta tha ke humein zyada baat karni chahiye
kyunke yeh humein kuch samajhne mein madad degi."

"Asjad, main tumhe bohat achi tarah se jaanti hoon aur samajhti hoon. Mujhe afsos
hai yeh jaan kar ke tumhe lagta hai ke humein ab bhi samajhne ki zaroorat hai. Main
samajhti thi ke humare darmiyan pehle hi bohat samajh hai."

Asjad ko qabool karna pada ke aaj uska din nahi tha.

"Aur agar tumhe lagta hai ke business aur anatomy ke baare mein baat karna haalaat
ko behtar karega, to theek hai-hum aisa hi karenge."

Imama ke lehje mein beilchus ka element tha.

"Tum mere kehne par khush nahi ho?"

"Main kyun khush nahi hongi?"

Is se uska aur bhi zyada sharminda hua. "Shayad maine ghalat baat keh di...shayad
nahi, zaroor maine ghalat baat keh di." Usne is jumle ko zordar andaz mein dohraya.
"Tum jaanti ho yeh rishte mere liye kitna ahem hai. Mere paas bohat se sapne hain
mustaqbil ke liye..." Usne gehri saans li. Woh bagair kisi izhaar ke, deewar par
charhayi hui bel ko dekhte rahe.

15
"Shayad isi liye main is rishte ke bare mein itna hasaas hoon. Mujhe humare bare
mein koi dar nahi. Yeh mangni humari raza mandi se hui thi." Uski nazar us par thehr
gayi aur usne jazbati lehje mein kaha, magar achanak, usne phir mehsoos kiya ke
woh wahan maujood nahi hai, ke woh apne aap se baat kar raha hai.

Bade se bangalow ke piche se aane wali music ghar ke samne lawn tak sunai de rahi
thi. Kisi ko bhi wahan ke logon ki bardasht par herat hoti, magar agar andar dekha
jaye, to bardasht ka asli sabab samajh aata. Kamra dhuaan se bhara hua tha aur ek
ajeeb si boo thi. Ek mashhoor restaurant ke khaali cartons, disposable plates aur
spoons, soft drinks ki bottles aur bachi hui khaane ki cheezein sab carpet par idhar
udhar bikhi hui thi, jo ketchup se daga hua tha. Saat larkay carpet par bikharay huay
thay; khaali beer ke cans idhar udhar bikhray huay thay. Aur yeh sab nahi tha-they
drugs bhi le rahe thay. Yeh pichlay do mahine mein teesri baar tha ke yeh larkay
yahan is qisam ki adventure ke liye ikattay huay thay. Ab tak unhone chaar mukhtalif
drugs ka tajurba kiya tha. Pehli baar yeh ek drug thi jo in mein se ek ko apne walid
ke closet mein mili thi. Agli martaba yeh ek drug thi jo ek schoolmate ne Islamabad
ke club se khareedi thi. Phir yeh kuch tha jo Rawalpindi ke market mein ek Afghan se
hasil kiya tha. Har martaba unhone drugs ko alcohol ke saath milaya, jise hasil karna
koi mushkil nahi tha. Har martaba yeh hota tha ke saat mein se chhay larkay bilkul
behosh ho jate thay. Ab bhi sirf saatwa larka hosh mein tha. Uska chehra keelon se
bhara tha, aur usne dark blue shirt pehni thi jiski collar Elvis Presley style mein uthayi
hui thi, aur bura sa grey jeans jis par har ghutne par Madonna ka chehra bana hua
tha. Usne apni aankhen kholi aur apne ird gird dekha. Uski aankhen laal thi magar
behoshi ki wajah se nahi. Thodi dair baad usne seedha hokar bachi hui drug ko ek
cone mein gira diya, usne ek straw nikala aur usay sniff karna shuru kiya. Phir usne
straw ko pheka aur kuch drug ko apni ungli ki noke par liya aur ehtiyat se chakhne
laga. Lagbhag foran hi, usne usay thook diya. Cheez bohot behtareen quality ki thi,
magar uske chehre se zahir tha ke usay yeh tajurba pasand nahi aaya. Usne apne
mooh se drug ka taste mitaane ke liye kuch beer pee. Baqi larkay carpet par bikhray
huay thay, bilkul behosh aur behoshi mein mubtala: usne soch samajh kar beer ka
can se peena jari rakha. Uski aankhen, swollen hone ke bawajood, kafi bright thi.
Drug ne usay poori tarah se nahi giraya tha. Pehli do martaba usne apne dostoon ko
unki behoshi mein chhor diya tha aur raat dair se ghar gaya tha. Is martaba bhi usne
wahan se nikalna tha: kamray mein drug ki boo usay mutanaffir kar rahi thi. Usne

16
uthne ki koshish mein ladkhadaya. Usne seedha hokar apni key aur wallet ko uthaya
aur stereo ko band kar diya. Usne kamray ke ird gird dekha jaise kuch yaad karne ki
koshish kar raha ho. Phir usne darwaze ki taraf rukh kiya aur phir se baith kar apne
joggers pehne, aur unke lace ko apni ankles ke ird gird bandha. Aakhir mein,
darwaza khol kar woh andheray corridor mein chala gaya. Andhere mein raste ko
mehsoos karte huay, woh main door se guzarta hua lawn mein aaya. Jaise hi woh
seedhiyon se utar raha tha, usne mehsoos kiya ke uska naak beh raha hai aur jab
usne apne upper lip ko chhua, to uske haathon par ek chipchipi si cheez mehsoos
hui. Usne entrance ka light on kiya aur apni ungliyon par khoon dekha. Apni pocket
mein haath dal kar usne apna rumal nikala aur apni ungliyon aur naak se khoon
pochha. Uske galay mein ek ajeeb si tez jhalak mehsoos hui jo usne saaf karne ki
koshish ki, magar usay aisa lag raha tha ke uska dum ghut raha hai. Usne chand
gehri saans li taake is bandish ko asaan kar sake aur do teen martaba thook phainka.
Achanak usay apni naak mein chubhan mehsoos hui. Woh dohra gaya jaise hi uski
naak se khoon phootne laga jo marble ki seedhiyon se nadi ki tarah beh raha tha.

Golf Club mein inaami taqseem ki takreeb jaari thi. Salar Sikandar ko Under-Sixteen
muqablay mein pehla inaam milna tha uske saat under par score ke liye. Jab Salar ka
naam pukara gaya to taaliyan bajate hue, Sikandar Usman ne socha ke use trophies
rakhne wali almari ka kuch karna padega. Is saal Salar jitni trophies aur shields ghar
layega, wo utni hi hongi jitni pichle saal layaye thay. Sikandar ke sab bachay apni
padhai mein shaandar thay, lekin Salar baqi sab se mukhtalif tha. Inam jeetne mein,
wo un sab se bohot aage tha. Ye sirf mushkil nahi tha is larke ko harana jo 150 IQ
score rakhta tha, ye namumkin tha.

Fakhariyat se taaliyan bajate hue, Sikandar apni biwi ki taraf mura aur dheere se bola,
"Ye Salar ki terahvin trophy aur is saal ki chouthi hai."

"Har cheez ka record rakhtay ho, nahi?" usne apne shauhar se muskurate hue jawab
diya jiska nigah Salar par thi jab wo chief guest se trophy le raha tha.

"Sirf golf ka aur tum wajah achi tarah se janti ho. Mujhe yaqeen hai agar Salar
professional khiladion ke sath bhi ye tournament khel raha hota, to bhi trophy jeet
leta," usne fakhr se kaha. Salar apne ird gird baithay doosray winners se haath mila
raha tha.

17
Sikandar ki biwi Salar ke bare mein uske dawe se hairan nahi thi. Wo janti thi ke ye
sirf walidi jazbaat ka izhar nahi tha: ye sach tha-Salar waqai ghair mamooli tha. Usay
yaad aaya jab usne apne bhai Zubair ke sath pehli martaba is golf course par 18
holes khelay thay. Jis tarah usne aik ball jo ghalti se rough mein gir gayi thi, usay
green par le aaya, wo maharat ka izhar tha. Zubair hairan reh gaya. "Mujhe yaqeen
nahi aa raha!" Usne ye jumla bar bar kaha tha khel ke khatam hone tak.

Agar rough se shot ne Zubair ko hairan kar diya tha, to Salar ke putters ne use bilkul
hila kar rakh diya. Jab ball hole ki taraf roll kar rahi thi, usne apne club par sahara liya
aur Salar aur uske target ke darmiyan faasla dekhnay ke liye peechay muda. Na
yaqeen se sar hilate hue, usne Salar ki taraf dekha.

"Salar Sahib aaj acha nahi khel rahe," golf cart ke peechay kharay caddie ne Zubair
ke peechay dheemi awaaz mein kaha, jo hairani se mudiya. "To aaj acha nahi khel
rahe?" usne caddie ki taraf dekha. Kya ye mazak tha?

"Ji sir, warna ball rough mein na jati," caddie ne kaha. "Aap aaj pehli dafa yahan khel
rahe hain, lekin Salar Sahib yahan pichle teen saal se khel rahe hain. Isi liye main
kehta hoon wo acha nahi khel rahe," usne izafa kiya. Zubair ne apni behan ki taraf
dekha jo pyar se muskurate hue thi.

"Agli martaba, main poori tayyari se yahan aaonga, aur main bhi khel ke liye jagah
chununga." Zubair kuchh naraaz tha jab wo Salar ki taraf chal pade.

"Kabhi bhi, kahin bhi," usne apne beta ki taraf se apne bhai ko pur-aitmaad tor par
challenge diya.

"Main tumhein is weekend Karachi bulana chahta hoon, tamaam kharchat meri taraf
se," Zubair ne casually kaha jab wo Salar ke kareeb pohancha.

"Kyoon?"

"Karachi Chamber of Commerce ke president ke khilaf mere taraf se khelne ke liye.

Main election mein usse haar gaya, lekin agar wo ek golf match haarta hai, aur wo
bhi aik bachay se, to usay heart attack ho jayega. To chalo hisaab barabar karte
hain." Salar ki maa apne bhai ke alfaaz par hans pari, lekin Salar ke chehre par
pareshani ka aasaar tha.

"Bacha?" Usne Zubair ke comment mein sirf aik naqbali lafz ko zor de kar dohraya.
"Uncle, mujhe lagta hai ke mujhe kal aap ke sath phir se 18 holes khelne padenge."

18
Asjad ne darwaza khola aur apni maa ke kamre mein dakhil hua. "Ami, mujhe aapse
kuch zaroori baat karni hai."

"Haan... kya baat hai?" Shakeela ne jawab diya.

Asjad sofa par baith gaya. "Aap Hashim Uncle ke ghar gayi thi aajkal?"

"Nahi... koi khaas baat hai?"

"Imama is haftay unke yahan aayi hui hai."

"Accha, hum shaam ko chalenge. Tum gayi the wahan?"

"Ji haan," Asjad ne kaha.

"Wo kaisi hai? Kaafi arse baad ghar aayi hai," Shakeela ne kaha.

"Ji, do mahine baad." Shakeela ne dekha ke Asjad pareshaan tha. "Koi masla hai?"

"Ami, mujhe lagta hai Imama thodi badal gayi hai," Asjad ne ek lambi saans bhari.

"Badal gayi? Tumhara kya matlab hai?"

"Main samjha nahi sakta. Bas uska rawaya mere liye ajeeb lagta hai," Asjad ne
kandhe uchkaye. "Aaj to usne ek choti si baat pe naraazgi dikha di. Wo pehle jaisi
nahi hai. Main is tabdeeli ki wajah samajh nahi pa raha."

"Yeh tumhara weham hai, Asjad. Uska rawaya kyun badlega? Tum buhat zyada
emotional soch rahe ho."

"Nahi, Ami. Pehle mujhe bhi laga ke main zyada mahsus kar raha hoon, lekin aaj ke
baad mujhe aisa nahi lagta. Wo mujhe buhat beparwah tareeke se treat karti hai."

"Toh tumhein kya lagta hai ke is tabdeeli ki wajah kya hai?" Shakeela ne brush table
par rakhte hue poocha.

"Mujhe kuch samajh nahi aata..."

"Kya tumne usse poocha?"

"Na sirf ek dafa, balki kai dafa."

"Phir?"

"Jaise aap, wo bhi kehti hai ke main galat samajh raha hoon." Asjad ne phir kandhe
uchkaye. "Kabhi kehti hai ke yeh uski padhai ki wajah se hai, kabhi kehti hai ke ab wo
mature ho gayi hai..."

19
"Yeh kuch ghalat nahi, ho sakta hai yeh hi wajah ho," Shakeela ne soch mein doob
kar kaha.

"Ami, baat uske sanjeeda hone ki nahi! Mujhe lagta hai ke wo mujhse door ho rahi
hai," Asjad ne kaha.

"Tum bewakoofi kar rahe ho, Asjad. Mujhe nahi lagta ke koi masla hai. Tum dono
bachpan se ek dusre ko jaante ho. Tumhare mizaj waqif hain," Shakeela ko apne bete
ke dar bekaar lagte the. "Zahir hai, waqt ke sath tabdeeliyan hoti hain: tum ab
bachay nahi rahe. Choti choti baaton par fikar karna chhod do," Shakeela ne apne
bete ko samjhaane ki koshish ki. "Waisay bhi, Hashim Bhai chahte hain ke agle saal
tum dono ki shaadi ho jaye. Imama apni taleem uske baad mukammal kar sakti hai.
Wo apni zimmedaari poori karna chahte hain," Shakeela ne raaz khola.

"Ye kab kaha unhone?" Asjad ne hairat se poocha.

"Kayee dafa. Waise, mujhe lagta hai ke unhone tayari bhi shuru kar di hai."

Asjad ne sakoon ka saans liya. "Shayad is wajah se Imama pareshan hai."

"Haan, mumkin hai. Shaadi agle saal ho jani chahiye," Asjad ne kuch tasalli se jawab
diya.

Woh solah ya satrah saal ka lamba, patla larka tha. Uske chehre par halki se dari thi
aur uska chehra masoom tha. Woh sports shorts aur dhila shirt pehney hue tha, aur
usne cotton ke socks aur joggers pehn rakhey thay. Woh ek bheer bhari sadak ke
beech mein, ek heavy duty motorcycle par tha jo woh beht hoshiyari se chala raha
tha, bina kisi traffic light ya aane wali traffic ka khayal rakhey. Traffic mein apni bike
ko zigzag chalate hue, woh dauran apne dono pair pedals se utha kar wheelies kar
raha tha. Phir bina speed kam kiye, usne mod liya aur lanes badal kar galat rukh
mein aane wali traffic mein ghus gaya. Achanak usne tez brake lagaya aur motorcycle
ek aane wali car se takra gayi. Woh hawa mein uchhal gaya aur neeche gir gaya.
Usko pata hi nahi chala kya hua... uska zehan andheray mein doob gaya.

Larkay stage par rostrum ke peechay kharay thay, aik dosray ka saamna karte hue.
Dono head boy ka post jeetne ke liye muqabla kar rahe thay aur ye election program
ka hissa tha. Ek rostrum par 'Vote for Salar' ka poster laga hua tha, jabke dosray par
dosray contestant, Faizan ka poster tha. Is waqt, Faizan apne audience ko bata raha
tha ke agar woh chuna gaya to unke liye kya karega. Salar ghore se usay dekh raha

20
tha. Faizan school ka behtareen orator tha aur apni British accent se larkon ko
impress kar raha tha jo bohat maqbool thi. Excellent sound system uski awaaz bohat
wazeh tor par pohcha raha tha aur hall mein pin-drop silence tha jo kabhi kabhi uske
supporters ki zor daar taaliyon se toot raha tha. Jab Faizan ne aadha ghanta baad
apni takreer khatam ki, to taaliyan aur seetiyaan mazeed kuch minute tak bajti rahin.
Salar Sikandar ne bhi taaliyon mein shamil ho gaya. Faizan ne itminan se idhar udhar
dekha, aur Salar ko taaliyan bajate dekh kar, qadar shanasi se sir hila diya. Faizan
khoob jan gaya tha ke Salar asaan muqabla nahi tha. Compere ne Salar ko apni
takreer shuru karne ko kaha. Taaliyon ke shore mein Salar ne shuru kiya. 'Subah
bakhair doston...' Usne ruk kar phir bola.

'Faizan Akbar yaqeenan hamare school ke liye aik asasa hai orator ke tor par. Na
main aur na koi aur uska muqabla kar sakta hai...' Usne phir ruk kar Faizan ko dekha,
jo fakhar se muskura raha tha. Magar Salar ke baqi jumlay ne uske chehre se
muskurahat mitadi. '...Agar yeh sirf baat karne ka mamla hota.' Hall mein hansi ki
awazein gunjnein lagi. Salar ne sanjeeda rawaya barqarar rakha.

'Magar aik orator aur aik head boy mein bara farq hota hai: aik orator ko bolna hota
hai jabke aik head boy ko kaam karna hota hai.' Hall mein Salar ke supporters ke
taaliyon se goonj uthi. 'Mujhe Faizan Akbar ki eloquence nahi milti,' usne bola. 'Mere
naam aur record ko meri jagah bolne dijiye. Mujhe ek behte behte lafzon ki stream ki
zaroorat nahi jahan chand alfaz kaafi hon.' Usne phir ruk gaya.

'Mujh par bharosa karo aur mujhe vote do.' Usne audience ka shukriya ada kiya aur
mike band kar diya. Taaliyon ka shore hawaa mein goonj utha. Salar ne aik minute
aur chaalis second mein apni khas andaz aur tol tol kar boli gayi baaton se Faizan ke
armaan palat diye thay.

Is mukadmaati ta'aruf ke baad, aik sawaal aur jawab ka session hua. Salar apni
mamooli mukhtasir rawaya mein jawab diya; uska sabse lamba jawab char jumlon se
zyada nahi tha. Doosri taraf, Faizan ka sabse chhota jawab char jumlon se kam nahi
tha. Faizan ki eloquence aur lafzon ka jadoo, jo uski taqat thi, ab Salar ke mukhtasir
aur nokili jawabon ke muqable mein bay maani lag rahe thay, aur Faizan ko is ka
pura ehsaas tha. Agar Salar aik line ka jawab deta, to Faizan, apni aadat ke mutabiq,
aik monologue shuru kar deta. Jo kuch Salar ne Faizan ke bare mein kaha tha,
audience ko sach lagne laga-ke aik orator sirf bol sakta hai, amal nahi kar sakta.

21
'Salar Sikandar ko head boy kyun hona chahiye?' aik sawaal aya.

'Kyunke aapko is job ke liye sabse behtareen shakhsiyat ko elect karna chahiye,' usne
jawab diya.

'Kya aap ise ghamand nahi kahenge?' aik aitraz aya.

'Nahi, ye self-confidence aur awareness hai.' Aitraz rad ho gaya.

'Ghamand aur self-confidence mein kya farq hai?' aik aur teekha sawaal utha.

'Wohi jo Faizan Akbar aur Salar Sikandar mein hai,' usne sanjeeda lehje mein jawab
diya.

'Agar aap head boy na bane to kya farq parega?' 'Ye aap ke liye farq dalega, mere
liye nahi.'

'Kaise?' 'Agar behtareen shakhsiyat leader na bane, to iska asar community par hota
hai, behtareen shakhsiyat par nahi.'

'Aap phir apne aap ko behtareen keh rahe hain.' Ek martaba phir aitraz aaya.

'Kya is hall mein koi aisa hai jo apne aap ko kisi buri shakhsiyat ke barabar rakhe?'
'Shayad koi ho...' 'Toh phir mein usse milna chahunga.' Audience se mazaaq ki
awazein uthti.

'Hamein batayein ke Salar Sikandar head boy ban kar kya tabdeeliyan layega.'
'Tabdeeliyan baat karne se nahi, karke dikhane se hoti hain aur mein yeh head boy
banne se pehle nahi kar sakta.' Aur bhi kuch sawaalat poochay gaye aur jawab diye
gaye aur phir compere ne aakhri sawaal ke liye kaha. Aik Sri Lankan larka shararat
bhari muskurahat ke saath khada hua.

'Agar aap mere is sawaal ka jawab dein, to mein aur meri puri group aapko vote dein
ge.' Salar muskuraya, 'Jawab dene se pehle, mujhe yeh batao ke tumhare group mein
kitne log hain.' 'Chhay,' larkay ne jawab diya.

Salar ne sir hila kar manzoor kiya aur kaha, 'Theek hai, tumhara sawaal kya hai?'
'Tumhein yeh calculate kar ke batana hai ke agar 952852 mein 267895 joda jaye aur
phir 399999 minus kiya jaye aur 929292 phir se joda jaye,' usne paper se dheere
dheere parh kar bola, 'phir us figure ko six se multiply aur two se divide kiya jaye aur
final figure mein 492359 joda jaye, to uska one-fourth kya hoga?' Larka mushkil se
apne lafzon ko mukammal kar paaya tha ke Salar ka bijli ki raftaar se jawab aya.

22
'2035618.2.' Larkay ne apne haath mein paper par nazar daali aur, yaqeen na aata
huay, taali bajana shuru kar diya. Faizan Akbar is waqt ko sirf aik actor mehsoos kar
raha tha; hall taaliyon se goonj utha-Faizan ne is poore program ko aik mazaak se
zyada kuch nahi samjha. Ek ghanta baad, stage se Salar se aage utarte huay, Faizan
ko pata chal gaya tha ke usne mukabla shuru hone se pehle hi haar gaya tha. Usne
kabhi bhi 150 IQ scorer Salar se itna hasad mehsoos nahi kiya jitna ke ab.

"Imama Apa, tum Lahore kab ja rahi ho?" Usne achanak apni notes se sar uthaya.
Saad aahista aahista uske ird gird cycle chala raha tha. "Kal. Kyun pooch rahe ho?"
Usne apni file band kar di. "Jab aap chali jaati hain, toh mujhe bohot yaad aati hai,"
usne kaha.

"Kyun?" Usne muskurate hue poocha.

"Kyunki mujhe aap bohot pasand hain aur... aap mere liye khilone laati hain aur
mujhe drive pe le jaati hain aur... aap mere saath khelti hain," usne tafseel se jawab
diya. "Kya aap mujhe Lahore le jaa sakti hain?"

Imama ko yeh samajh nahi aaya ke yeh ek tajwez thi ya sawal. "Main tumhe kaise le
ja sakti hoon? Main khud hostel mein rehti hoon, toh tum kahan rahoge?" Usne
poocha.

Usne is par socha aur phir cycle chalate hue bola, "Phir aap zyada aaya karein."

"Theek hai. Main zyada aaya karungi." Usne muskurate hue kaha. "Tum mujhse
phone pe baat kar sakte ho. Main tumhe call karungi."

"Haan-yeh acha lagta hai." Saad ko yeh idea pasand aaya. Usne apni cycle ko lawn
mein daudana shuru kar diya. Imama ne usay be khayali se dekha. Saad uska bhai
nahi tha: woh paanch saal pehle unke ghar aaya tha.

Usne kabhi nahi poocha ke woh kahan se aaya tha-aur is baat ka use koi parwa bhi
nahi thi-magar usse pata tha ke kyun usay laya gaya tha. Ab woh das saal ka tha aur
family ke saath adjust ho gaya tha. Woh Imama ke sabse qareeb tha. Usay aksar uske
liye afsos hota, na is liye ke woh yateem tha, magar uska mustaqbil dekh kar use
udaasi hoti thi. Uske chachay ne bhi yateem bachay god liye thay aur unka mustaqbil
bhi Imama ke liye fikar ka sabab tha. Kitaab haath mein liye, woh Saad ko garden
mein cycle chalate dekhti rahi.

23
Usay dekh kar, woh aksar aisay khayalat se pareshan ho jati, magar uske paas koi
jawab nahi tha-kuch bhi nahi jo woh uske liye kar sakti thi.

Wo charoo Heera Mandi, Lahore ke red-light area mein thay. Woh sab 18 aur 19 saal
ke darmiyan ke thay aur unka upper class background unke libaas se zahir hota tha;
magar yahan umar aur social background ka koi ahmiyat nahi thi, kyun ke aksar
naujawan ladkay yehan aate thay aur elite log unke regular customers mein shamil
thay. Ladkay bazaar ki tang galiyon se guzarte hue apas mein baatein kar rahe thay.
Teen ladkay guftagu mein masroof thay magar chautha ladka ghoor ke har cheez
dekh raha tha aur aik tajub aur raaz ki soch uske chehre par thi. Lagta tha ke yeh
uska pehla tajurba tha, aur uske doston se baad mein hone wali guftagu ne is baat ki
tasdeeq kar di.

Gali ke dono janib, khuli darwazon mein, har umar, shakal, size aur rang ki auratein
khadi thi-gori aur saawli, khoobsurat aur aam-sab ziada makeup mein aur uttaray
hue kapdon mein thein. Har umar ke mard bhi gali se guzarte dekhe ja sakte thay.
Ladka sab kuch ghoor se dekh raha tha.

"Tum yahan kitni baar aaye ho?" Usne apne daayein taraf khade ladke se poocha jo
hans kar uske alfaaz dohra raha tha.

"Kitni baar? Ab yaad nahi-maine ginati nahi ki! Main yahan aksar aata hoon," usne
fakhar se kaha.

"Mujhe yeh auratein itni attractive nahi lagti...kuch khaas nahi," ladke ne kandhe
uchaal kar kaha. "Agar raat guzarna zaroori ho toh kam az kam mahaul achha hona
chahiye-yeh jagah toh bohot gandi hai," usne napasandida nazar se gali ke gande
paani aur kachray ke dheeron ko dekhte hue kaha. "Aur, yahan aane ka kya faida jab
tumhare paas girlfriends hain?"

"Yeh jagah apni kashish rakhti hai aur in auraton ka hamari girlfriends se koi muqabla
nahi. Girlfriends yahan ki auraton ki tarah nahi nach sakti," doosre ladke ne hansi ke
saath kaha. "Aur aaj Pakistan ki mashhoor actress yahaan perform karne wali hai-
dekh lena."

"Magar tum mujhe usay dance karte hue dekhne le gaye thay," pehle ladke ne beech
mein roka.

24
"Aray, woh toh kuch nahi tha-bas mere bhai ki shaadi mein ek 'mujra' tha. Magar
yahan baat alag hai."

"Magar woh actress bohot posh area mein rehti hai; woh yahan kyun aayegi?" Uski
awaz mein shak tha.

"Aaj us se khud pooch lena agar chaaho. Main aise sawal nahi poochta." Baqi ladke
is baat par hans diye, magar pehla ladka use ghoor kar dekh raha tha.

Akhirkar woh apni manzil par pohanch gaye jo gali ke ikhtitam par thi. Dukan ke
qareeb se, unhon ne motia ke haar khareede jo unhon ne apne kalayon par lapeta,
aur woh haar pehle ladke ke haath mein bhi pehnaya jo wahan aane par aitraz kar
raha tha. Phir unhon ne tambaku wala paan khareeda aur use bhi ek paan diya-
shayad usne pehle kabhi paan nahi khaya tha. Woh seedhiyon se upar gaye. Usne
asar daal kar dekha aur uske chehre par tasalli ki muskurahat thi jab usne dekha ke
jagah na sirf saaf thi balki acchi tarah se sajayi gayi thi.

Zameen par safed chadrein bichi hui thi aur takiye bhi rakhe thay. Darwazon aur
khidkiyon par parday dheere se hil rahe thay. Kuch log pehle hi pohanch chuke thay
magar performance abhi shuru nahi hui thi. Aik aurat, jiska chehra muskurahat se
bharpur tha lekin wo muskurahat jhooti thi, tez raftari se unke paas ayi. Jab usne
unse baat ki, pehle ladke ne uski surat ko dekha. Woh middle-aged thi, makeup se
dhak gayi thi aur uske baalon mein motia aur gulaab ke haar the. Usne ek teez laal
chiffon saari pehni thi aur uska blouse jism ko dhakne ke bajaye zahir kar raha tha.
Usne ladkon ko kamray ke ek kone mein bithaya. Jaise hi woh baitha, pehle ladke ne
turant paan ko ek spittoon mein thook diya. Paan moonh mein bhar kar baat karna
mushkil tha; aur usay iska maza aur zaika bilkul acha nahi laga tha. Baqi teen ladke
dheemi awaz mein baat kar rahe thay. Usne kamray ke doosre mardon ko dekha jo
takiyon se tek laga kar baithe thay aur unke samne note aur sharab ki bottles rakhi
hui thi. Zyada tar buzurg aadmi safed kapdon mein thay; yeh pehli dafa tha jab usne
Eid ke alawa itne logon ko safed kapdon mein dekha tha. Woh khud aur uske doston
ne bhi casual libaas pehna tha-kale jeans aur kale T-shirt.

Thodi dair baad, ek aur aurat jo zehrili rang ke kapdon mein thi kamray mein aayi
aur beech mein baith kar ghazal gaane lagi. Musicians uske saath thay. Kuch gaane
ke baad, usne paisay ikhatte kiye jo uspar barsaye gaye thay aur woh chali gayi. Phir
mashhoor actress aayi jiske liye sab intezar kar rahe thay aur sabki nigahen uspar jam

25
gayi. Usne ghoom kar apne shaiqeen ko pyar se salam kiya. Musicians ne is baar
kuch nahi bajaya aur tej gaane ki recordings bajayi gayi. Performer ne dance shuru
kiya. Uski performance se pehle jo khamoshi thi woh taaliyon se toot gayi aur
mardon ne uske dance ko pasand karte hue shor machaya aur drinks chalu ho gayi.
Kuch zyada nashe mein mard uth kar uske saath dance karne lage. Sirf pehla ladka
chup chaap performance dekh raha tha.

Uska chehra be izhar tha, magar agar ghoor se dekha jaye to yeh saaf tha ke woh
maze le raha tha. Jab actress ka dance do ghante baad khatam hua, toh zyada tar
mard hall mein behosh ho chuke thay. Wapas jaana unke liye masla nahi tha kyunki
woh waapis jaane ka irada lekar nahi aaye thay-woh raat guzarna chaahte thay.
Chaaron ladkon ne bhi wahan raat guzari. Agle din, wapas jaate hue, ek ladke ne
pehle wale se poocha jo gaadi ke bahar dekh raha tha, "Toh, kaisa tajurba raha?"

"Theek tha," usne casually jawab diya.

"Theek tha? Bas itna? Waise..." Naraz hote hue, usne beech mein baat chor di.

"Yeh jagah kabhi kabhar dekhne layak hai. Aur kya keh sakta hoon? Magar isme kuch
khaas nahi tha. Meri girlfriend us aurat se behtar hai jiske saath maine raat guzari,"
usne jawab diya.

Hashim Mubeen ki poori family dining table par mojood thi. Wo khushgawar guftagu
kar rahe the jabke wo khana kha rahe the. Imama unki guftagu ka mawzu thi.

"Baba, kya aapne dekha hai ke Imama din ba din zyada serious hoti ja rahi hai?"
Waseem ne usay provokingly dekhte hue kaha.

"Ha...maine kuch mahino se ye notice kiya hai," Hashim Mubeen ne jawab diya, aur
unki nazar Imama ke chehre par thi.

Imama ne Waseem ko ghoor kar dekha jab usne chawal ka ek niwala uthaya.
"Imama, koi masla hai?"

"Baba, ye bakwas karta hai aur aap uski baat mein aa jate hain. Main serious aur
busy hoon apni padhai ki wajah se-akhir har koi Waseem ki tarah bekaar nahi hai,"
usne kuch chirchira kar kaha aur Waseem ke kandhe par halka sa thapki di.

26
"Baba, jab ye doctor ban jayegi to kya banega agar isne apni padhai ke shuruati
saalon mein hi ye haal hai," Waseem ne mazak urate hue kaha. "Miss Imama Hashim
ko muskurane mein saal lag jayenge..."

Sab log table par muskurane lage: aisi nok jhok aksar hoti rehti thi. Imama aur
Waseem ka jhagra na ho, aisa kabhi kabar hi hota. Magar Waseem bhi Imama ka
sabse acha dost tha-shayad un dono ka umar mein kareebi hona unki dosti ki
buniyad thi.

"Aur socho ke Imama..." lekin usne is baar usay baat poori nahi karne di. Usne
ghuma kar uske kandhe par zor se mukka mara. Us par koi asar nahi hua.

"Hamare ghar mein ek doctor ke ilawa aur kya ho sakta hai jo 'healing touch' rakhti
hai? Aapne abhi demonstration dekhi hai aur andaza laga sakte hain ke aaj kal
doctor apne mareezon ka kaise ilaj karte hain. Ye bhi un wajahon mein se ek hai ke
mulk mein death rate kyun barh raha hai..."

"Baba, please usay rokiye!" Imama ne haar maan kar Hashim Mubeen se darkhwast
ki.

"Waseem!" Hashim ne muskurahat dabate hue apne bete ki taraf dekha jo tameez se
chup ho gaya.

Usne paper bag ke tamam contents grinder mein dal diye aur grinder on kar diya. Us
waqt cook andar aaya.

"Chote Saab, mein madad karun?" usne peshkash ki lekin usay haath se roka diya
gaya.

"Nahi, mein kar lunga. Lekin mujhe ek glass doodh la do." Usne grinder band kar
diya. Cook ne usay doodh la diya. Adha glass doodh mein usne grinder ka contents
daala, jhat se milaya aur usay nigal gaya.

"Aaj tumne kya pakaya hai?" usne cook se poocha, jo usay batane laga ke usne kya
pakaya hai. Uske chehre par naraazgi ka asar aaya.

"Mujhe kuch nahi khana. Mein upar sona ja raha hoon; mujhe tang mat karna," usne
sakhti se kaha aur kitchen se nikal gaya.

Wo bheja bheja lag raha tha, daari ugi hui thi, aur shirt ke do button ke siwa sab
khule hue the. Apni chappal ko ghaseet-te hue wo apne kamre mein gaya aur

27
darwaza band kar diya. Phir usne bara music system on kiya aur Michael Bolton ka
'When a Man Loves a Woman' full volume par lagaya. Wo bed par moonh ke bal leta
gaya, remote haath mein tha, aur paon music par hil rahe the.

Bed aur uske ilawa kamre mein sab kuch theek tha. Kahin dhool ka ek zarra bhi nahi
tha. Audio-video cassettes neat and tidy ek shelf par rakhin thi, aur wall par bhi kuch
books aur computer table uski muntazim tabiyat ka izhar kar rahe the. Hollywood
actresses aur mukhtalif bands ke posters walls ko saja rahe the, jabke bathroom ka
darwaza aur kuch windows Playboy ke nude cut-outs se decorate kiye gaye the.

Pehli martaba kamre mein dakhil hone wala shakhs hairan reh jata kyunki windows
par life-size aur lifelike nude pinups the jo khaas order mein rakhe gaye the. Audio
system ke ilawa ek keyboard, guitar, piccolo aur oboe bhi walls par latak rahe the.
Yeh saaf tha ke kamre ka maqeem music mein bari dilchaspi rakhta tha. Bed ke
samne ek television cabinet tha jiske shelves par shields aur trophies rakhi thi. Ek aur
kone mein cricket bats aur racquets sports stars ke posters ke saath hunar mandi se
latak rahe the. Aisa lagta tha ke Gabriela Sabatini ke haath mein tennis racquet tha,
jabke doosra Rodney Martin ke haath mein, aur squash racquet Jehangir Khan ke
haath mein tha.

Double bed par woh silken sheets thi jo maali lag rahi thi. Kuch pornographic
magazines, zyada tar Playboy, idhar udhar bikhri hui thi aur paper-cutter aur cut-out
snippets is baat ka saboot the ke wo pictures kaat raha tha. Chewing gum wrappers,
ek khaali coffee mug, Dunhill's ka packet aur lighter, ek ashtray aur idhar udhar bikhri
hui raakh ne white silk sheet par daagh daal diye the. Kahin ghadi thi aur ek tie, aur
pillow ke paas ek cell phone tha jahan woh shakhs moonh ke bal leta tha, shayad
aadha soya hua tha jab uska haath bed par phone dhundta raha jo baj raha tha.
Phone ki beep usne nahi suni aur remote uske haath se gir gaya jab uski pakad
dheeli ho gayi. Michael Bolton ki awaz 'When a Man Loves a Woman' ke lyrics ke
sath kamre ko bhar rahi thi-darwaze par dastak zor aur musalsal hoti gayi, magar wo
bed par be-harakat leta raha.....

"Don't tell me! Imama, kya tum waqai mangni shuda ho?" Zainab ne Javeria ke izhaar
se heran ho kar kaha. Imama ne Javeria ko ilzam bhari nazar se dekha, jo
sharmindagi se usay dekh rahi thi. "Usay mat dekho-mujhe dekho aur batao ke kya
ye sach hai ke tumhari mangni ho chuki hai," Zainab ne Imama se sakhti se poocha.

28
"Ha, lekin ye koi aisi extraordinary ya hairat angez baat nahi ke tum itni reaction do,"
Imama ne pur-sukoon jawab diya. Wo sab library mein baithi thi aur puri koshish kar
rahi thi ke ahista baat karein. "Lekin kam az kam tumhe humein batana chahiye tha.
Ye kya bara raaz tha?" Rabia ne kaha.

"Koi raaz nahi aur na hi ye itna zaroori hai. Waise bhi, humari dosti abhi haali mein
hui hai aur ye mangni saalon pehle hui thi," Imama ne wazahat ki. "Tumhara matlab
hai 'saalon pehle'?"

"Mera matlab hai do ya teen saal pehle."

"Lekin phir bhi tumhe humein batana chahiye tha..." Zainab ne zor diya. Imama ne
usay muskurahat di. "Jab meri dobara mangni hogi, to zaroor bataungi-chahe kisi aur
ko bataun ya nahi."

"Bohat mazaaq," Zainab ne usay ghoor kar kaha.

"Kam az kam humein uski tasveer to dikhao... Wo kaun hai? Uska naam kya hai? Wo
kya karta hai?" Rabia ne hamesha ki tarah ek saans mein sawalat barsa diye. "Wo
mera pehla cousin hai... uska naam Asjad hai," Imama ne dheere se kaha aur soch
mein pad gayi. "Usne apna MBA mukammal kar liya hai aur apna khud ka business
chalata hai."

"Wo dikhta kaisa hai?" Zainab ne poocha. Imama ne usay ghur kar dekha. "Wo theek
hai."

"Theek hai? Main tumse pooch rahi hoon ke kya wo tall, dark, aur handsome hai?"
Imama ne Zainab ko bina kuch kahe muskurahat di. Javeria ne uski taraf se jawab
diya.

"Ye Imama ki choice hai... wo kaafi achha dikhta hai."

"Ha, humein pata hona chahiye-akhir wo Imama ka pehla cousin hai. Ab Imama,
tumhara agla kaam hai humein uski tasveer dikhana," Zainab ne hukam diya.

"Nahi, uski pehli zimmedari hai humein treat dena," Rabia ne dakhal diya. "Lekin ab
chalo, mujhe hostel jana hai." Imama uth khadi hui aur wo sab saath nikal gayi. "By
the way, Javeria, tumne pehle humein ye baat kyun nahi batayi?" Zainab ne usse
poocha.

29
"Suno, Imama nahi chahti thi-isi liye maine kabhi zikar nahi kiya," Javeria ne kaha.
Imama ne ghuma kar Javeria ko warning bhari nazar se dekha. "Imama kyun nahi
chahti thi? Agar meri mangni hoti aur wo bhi meri pasand ke larke se, to main chhat
se chillati," Zainab ne zor se kaha.

Imama ne usay nazarandaz karna behtar samjha.

---------------------------------------------------------

Aapka beta duniya ki 2.5 percent abadi mein se hai jinka IQ 150 se zyada hai. Is level
ki intelligence ke sath, wo jo bhi kare, woh extraordinary hoga, lekin unexpected nahi.
Salar sirf aik hafta hi International School mein tha jab Sikandar Usman aur unki biwi
ko school administration ne bulaya. School ke psychologist ne unhain Salar ke
various IQ tests ke bare mein bataya jin mein uski performance aur score ne uske
teachers aur psychologist ko hairan kar diya. Wo school ka akele bacha tha jiska IQ
itna zyada tha aur jald hi woh sab ki tawajju ka markaz ban gaya.

Mr. aur Mrs. Usman se milte waqt, psychologist ko Salar ke bachpan ke bare mein
zyada maloomat lene ka mauka mila. Woh Salar ke case ko personal interest se study
kar raha tha, professional ke ilawa, kyunki pehli dafa usne itni high IQ level dekha
tha. Sikandar Usman ko achi tarah yaad tha ke jab Salar sirf do saal ka tha, wo apni
age ke dusre bachon se mukhtalif tha aur aksar cheezen aisi kehta tha jo unke liye
hairat ka sabab banti thi.

Ek din wo apne bhai se phone par baat kar rahe the jab Salar ne phone uthaya aur
kaha, 'Hello, Uncle, ye Salar hai.' Sikandar ne dekha wo khushi se baat kar raha tha.
'Main theek hoon. Aap kaise hain?' Sikandar socha wo play-acting kar raha hai. Agla

30
jumla ne usse hairan kar diya. 'Baba yahin hain, TV dekh rahe hain. Nahi, unhone call
nahi kiya, main ne kiya hai.'

'Salar, tum kisse baat kar rahe ho?' Sikandar ne poocha.

'Uncle Shahnawaz,' usne jawab diya. Sikandar ne usse phone le liya aur socha ke
Salar ne galti se number dial kiya hoga ya redial button daba diya hoga. 'Salar ne
number dial kiya, mujhe maaf kijiyega,' usne apne bhai se maafi maangi.
'Usne kaise kiya? Kya wo itna chhota nahi?' Uska bhai hairan tha. 'Shayad usne redial
button galti se dabaya hoga.' Sikandar ne phone band kar diya aur wapas rakh diya.
Salar, jo ye guftagu chup chap sun raha tha, wapas phone uthaya aur Shahnawaz ka
number bilkul tarteeb se dial kiya, bilkul jese koi bara karta. Sikandar hairan tha-usne
expect nahi kiya tha ke ek do saal ka bacha aisa kar sakta hai.

Sikandar ne uski maa ko bulaya. 'Main ne ise numbers nahi sikhaye,' usne kaha.
'Kal hi maine one to hundred tak ke numbers bataye the. Magar maine kuch books li
thi kuch din pehle.' Sikandar ne Salar se kaha ke wo ek se sau tak gino-usne ye kaam
kar diya jab uski maa hairani se dekh rahi thi. Yaqeenan, bachay ki intelligence uske
age ke liye bohat aage thi, isliye usay school mein apne siblings se pehle hi enroll
karwa diya. Wo school mein bhi bohot accha tha.

'Is bache ko aapki khas tawajju ki zarurat hai, kyunki aise bachay jo average
intelligence se zyada hote hain, unka mizaj sensitive aur complicated hota hai. Agar
iska upbringing accha ho, to ye aapke khandan ka, waqayi mulk ka asset ban sakta
hai.' Sikandar Usman aur unki biwi psychologist ki baat sun kar fakhr mehsoos kar
rahe the jo ek foreigner tha. Unho ne ghar mein Salar ko khaas tawajju dena shuru
kar diya: wo sab se pyara aur favorite bacha ban gaya aur wo uski achievements par
fakhr mehsoos karte.

School mein, usay aik term ke baad hi agle class mein promote kar diya gaya, aur
phir term ke end mein phir se promote kar diya gaya. Sikandar pareshan tha-wo nahi
chahta tha ke Salar sirf 8 aur 10 saal ki age mein O levels aur A levels de. Iski
progress ki speed dekh kar, ye mumkin lag raha tha.
'Mujhe chaahiye ke aap mera beta ek saal puri class mein rehnay dein pehle usay
agle level par promote karein. Main nahi chahta ke wo abnormal speed se apni
academic career mein aage badhe. Aap uske subjects aur activities badha sakte hain,
magar usay normal progress karne dein.'

31
Salar ko mid-term promote nahi kiya gaya; uske talents aur energy ko sports aur
dusri extra-curricular activities mein channel kiya gaya. Chess, tennis, golf aur music
mein usay zyada dilchaspi thi aur school mein hone wali har cheez mein hissa leta-
agar kisi cheez mein hissa nahi leta to sirf isliye ke usay wo challenging nahi lagti thi.

-----------------------

'Javeria, mujhe Professor Imtinan ke notes de do, kya tum dogi?' Imama ne Javeria se
kaha jo padh rahi thi. Javeria ne usay ek notebook di jo usne dekhna shuru kiya.
Javeria apni parhai mein lagi rahi, magar achanak Imama ki taraf dekha, jaise usay
kuch yaad aaya. 'Tum ne lectures ke doran notes lena kyun chor diya hai?' Imama ne
dekha. 'Agar mujhe samajh aaye to leti.' 'Tumhara matlab kya hai? Tumhe Prof.
Imtinan ke lectures samajh nahi aate?' Javeria hairan thi. 'Woh itne achay teacher
hain.' 'Main ne kab kaha ke woh nahi hain? Bas ye ke...'

Imama ne ruk kar kaha. Javeria ne usay gaur se dekha. 'Tum bohot absent-minded
nahi ho gayi ho lately? Kya tum kisi cheez se pareshan ho?' Usne apni kitaab band
kar di; uski tone caring thi.
'Pareshan?' Imama ne muttered kiya. 'Nahi...'
'Tumhare ankho ke neeche dark circles hain. Kal raat, mujhe lagta hai ke teen bajay,
jab main jaagi, tum ne ab tak nahi soyi thi.'
'Main parh rahi thi,' Imama ne defensively jawab diya.
'Nahi, tum nahi parh rahi thi. Tumhari kitaab samne thi magar tumhare khayalat
kahin aur the. Koi problem hai?'
'Kya problem ho sakta hai?'
'Phir tum itni khamosh kyun ho gayi ho?' Javeria ne Imama ke attempts to stall the
conversation ko ignore kar diya.
'Ab, mujhe kyun lafzon ki kami hogi?' Imama ne muskurane ki koshish ki. 'Main utni
hi talkative hoon jitni pehle thi.'
'Ye sirf main nahi, dusre log bhi notice kar rahe hain ke tum pareshan ho,' Javeria ne
seriously kaha.
'Kuch nahi-bas parhai ka usual tension hai.'
'Mujhe yaqeen nahi aata. Aakhir hum sab sath hain-tum hum se zyada tense nahi ho
sakti.'
Javeria ne sar hilaya. Imama ne aah bhari-wo isse tang aa rahi thi.
'Ghar mein sab theek hai?'

32
'Haan, bilkul theek.'
'Kya tumhari Asjad se larai hui?'
'Main usse kyun larungi?'
Imama ne wahi tone mein jawab diya.
'Magar fir bhi ikhtilafat ho sakte hain aur...'
Imama ne usay sentence complete nahi karne diya.
'Jab main tumhe bata rahi hoon ke koi problem nahi, to tum kyun yaqeen nahi kar
rahi? In sab saalon mein, maine kya tumse share nahi kiya ya tumhe mere bare mein
kya nahi pata? To phir tum mujhe aise kyun question kar rahi ho jaise main koi
mujrim hoon?'
Imama ka gussa barh raha tha.
Javeria confused thi. 'Beshak, main tum par yaqeen karti hoon. Mujhe laga tum hold
back kar rahi ho kyun ke main pareshaan na ho jaun. Bas itna hi.' Javeria, thori
sharmsaar, uthi aur apne table par wapas ja kar apni kitaab parhne lagi. Kuch dair
baad usne jamhai li aur Imama ki taraf dekha. Wo uth kar baithi thi, peet diwaar se
lagayi hui aur notebook haath mein, magar uski aankhen samne diwaar par jammi
hui thi.

---------------------

Usne car nadi ke paar bridge se kuch faasla door park ki. Usne boot khola aur ek
bora aur rassi nikali aur bridge ki taraf chalte hue bora ghaseetne laga. Kuch
raahgeer usay dekh rahe the magar rukay nahi. Bridge par pohanch kar, usne apni
shirt utari aur pani mein phenk di-kuch hi lamhon mein shirt pani ke bahao mein
beh gayi. Uski lambi, athletic body jo dark blue jeans pehni hui thi, ek khubsurat
manzar thi. Uski aankhen bayaan nahi kar sakti thi ke wo kya soch raha hai. Uski
umar 19 se 29 saal ke darmiyan ho sakti thi, magar uski lambai aur shakal se wo
zyada bara lagta tha.

Rassi ke ek siray ko pakar kar, usne usay bridge ke paar phenk diya jab tak ke wo
pani ko nahi cho gayi. Phir usne rassi ko mazbooti se bora ke muh ke ird gird
lapetna aur bandhna shuru kiya jab tak ke sari rassi istemal nahi ho gayi. Ab, usne
rassi ka kuch hissa wapas kheencha, lagbhag teen feet chhod kar; apne pair jor kar,
usne mazbooti se unhein rassi se bandh liya. Phir, usne bachi hui rassi se do loops
banaye aur bridge ke railing par chala gaya, aur apne haathon ko pichay se loops
mein daal kar, rassi ke girahen khenchi aur apne haath bhi bandh liye.

33
Uske honton par ek muskurahat thi. Gahri saans le kar, usne khud ko pichay ki taraf
bridge se neeche phenk diya. Uska sar zor se pani se takraya aur wo kamar tak paani
mein doob gaya, sar neeche aur haath bandhe hue, rassi ke sath liptay bora se latak
raha tha. Usne apni saans roki aur pani ke neeche apni aankhein kholne ki koshish ki,
magar nadi ka paani ganda tha aur mitti uski aankhon mein chubh rahi thi. Usay lag
raha tha ke uske phaphray phat jayenge aur jab usne saans li, pani uske naak aur
mooh ke zariye uske jism mein dakhil ho gaya.

Wo majboori se phadphadane laga-usne koshish ki magar apne haathon ka istemal

nahi kar sakta tha ke khud ko pani se upar uthaye. Dheere dheere, uski harkatein
ahista ho gayi. Kuch log jo usay bridge se chalte hue dekha tha, railing ki taraf
bhage, chilla rahe the. Rassi ab bhi hichkichara rahi thi. Unhe samajh nahi aaya ke
kya karein-pani ke neeche koi harkat nazar nahi aa rahi thi; uski taange be-harkat
nazar aa rahi thi. Ek hajoom ikattha ho gaya, dar ke saath uske bejaan jism ko dekhte
hue: pani usay ek pendulum ki tarah jhula raha tha, aage aur peeche...aage aur
peeche...aage aur peeche.

"Imama, jaldi tayar ho jao!" Rabia ne almari se kapray nikaalte hue bed par phainkte.
"Tayar hoon? Kis liye?" Imama ne hairani se uski taraf dekha.
"Ham shopping ja rahe hain. Tum bhi chalo." Rabia ne apne kapray iron karte hue
jaldi se kaha.
"Nahin, shukriya. Mujhe kahin nahi jana." Imama ne apne takiye par let kar apni
aankhon ko haath se dhak liya.
"Tumhara yeh 'mujhe kahin nahi jana' ka kya matlab hai? Tumse pucha kisne hai?
Main tumhe keh rahi hoon," Rabia ne wahi lehja barqarar rakhte hue kaha.
"Aur main keh rahi hoon ke main nahi ja rahi," Imama ne baghair hile jawab diya.
"Zainab bhi aa rahi hai—poora group ja raha hai—aur jab shopping kar lenge to film
dekhne bhi jayenge." Imama ne upar dekha.
"Zainab bhi aa rahi hai?"
"Haan, hum usay raste se uthayenge." Imama soch mein par gayi.
"Tum din ba din boring hoti ja rahi ho, Imama!" Rabia ne gusse se kaha. "Tumne
hamare saath bahar jana chhod diya hai; tumhare sath ho kya gaya hai?"
"Kuch nahi. Bas aaj buhat thaki hui hoon aur sona chahti hoon," Imama ne Rabia ko
dekhte hue kaha.
Thodi der baad Javeria bhi aayi aur usne bhi Imama ko manana ki koshish ki, lekin

34
Imama ki sirf ek hi baat thi: "Main buhat thaki hui hoon, mujhe sona hai." Jab woh
Imama ko bahar nikalne mein naakam rahi, to larkiyan nafrat se usay peeche chhod
gayin.
Raste mein jab unhone Zainab ko uthaya, to Javeria ko yaad aaya ke uska wallet
hostel mein reh gaya hai. "Mujhe apna wallet lene hostel wapas jana hoga," Javeria
ne kaha. Jab woh hostel pohnche, to unhoun ne kamra band paaya.
"Imama kahan hai?" Rabia ne hairan ho kar kaha. "Pata nahi...woh kahan gayi hogi,
kamra band kar ke? Usne to kaha tha ke woh sona chahti hai," Javeria ne kaha.
"Kya woh kisi aur ke kamray mein ho sakti hai?" Rabia ne socha. Agle kuch minute
unhone apni doston ke kamron mein Imama ko talaash kiya, lekin koi nishan nahi
mila.
"Kya woh bahar gayi ho sakti hai?" Rabia ko achanak khayal aaya.
"Chalo warden se check karte hain," Javeria ne kaha, aur woh warden ke paas gaye.
"Haan, Imama kuch der pehle bahar gayi thi," warden ne tasdeeq ki. Rabia aur Javeria
ne ek dusre ko hairan nighaon se dekha. "Usne kaha tha ke woh sham tak wapas aa
jayegi," warden ne unhein bataya. Woh warden ke kamray se bahar nikle.
"Woh kahan ja sakti hai? Usne to kaha tha ke woh humare sath nahi jana chahti
kyunki woh thaki hui hai…sona chahti hai…bimar hai…aur phir woh is tarah bahar
chali gayi," Rabia gusse se boli.
Jab woh raat ko late wapas aaye, to Imama kamray mein thi aur unka muskurate hue
khush aamdeed kaha.
"Shayad tum logon ne bohot sari shopping ki hai," usne unke bags aur parcels
dekhte hue kaha. Unhone jawab nahi diya—apni shopping rakhte hue, woh usay
dekhte rahe.
"Tum kahan thi?" Javeria ne poocha. Imama ne jhatka khaya.
"Main apna wallet lene aayi thi aur tum yahan nahi thi. Kamra band tha."
"Main tumhare baad gayi thi."
"Kya matlab?"
"Jab tum log nikal gaye to maine apna iraada badal liya aur Zainab ke paas gayi,
kyunki tum usay lene ja rahe the. Lekin uska chowkidar ne kaha ke woh tumhare sath
nikal gayi, to main wapas aayi. Bas raste mein kuch kitabein lene ruki thi," Imama ne
samjhaya.
"Dekha—humne tumhe kaha tha ke sath chalo lekin tumne mana kar diya. Phir, jaise
bewakoof, tum hamare peeche peeche aa gayi. Hum tumhare bare mein shak kar

35
rahe the," Rabia ne kaha jab ke usne apni shopping ke samaan bags se nikal rahe thi.
Woh ab mutma'in lag rahi thi.
Imama ne jawab nahi diya: usne sirf muskuraya jab unhone apni shopping dikhayi.

______________________________

"Tumhara naam?"
"Mujhe nahi pata."
"Tumhare walidain ne tumhara kya naam rakha?"
"Ja ke mere walidain se pooch lo."
Khamoshi.
"Log tumhe kya kehte hain?"
"Larkay ya larkiyan?"
"Larkay."
"Woh mujhe bohot se naamon se bulate hain."
"Zyada tar kya?"
"Daredevil."
Aur khamoshi.
"Aur larkiyan?"
"Woh bhi mujhe bohot se naamon se bulate hain."
"Woh tumhe zyada tar kya kehti hain?"
"Main tumhe nahi bata sakta... yeh bohot personal hai."
Khamoshi aur phir ek gehri saans aur... phir se khamoshi.
"Kya main tumhe ek mashwara de sakta hoon?"
"Kya?"
"Kyoun na tum mere bare mein kuch aisa jaanne ki koshish karo jo na tum jante ho
na main? Woh safed file jo tumhare daayen haath pe table pe rakhi hai us mein meri
sab maloomat hain. Tum apna waqt kyun zaya kar rahe ho?" Table lamp ki roshni
mein, psychoanalyst ne jawan mard ko couch par lete hue dekha. Woh apne pair
idhar udhar hila raha tha. Uska chehra pur-sukoon tha aur uske chehre par yeh
izhaar tha ke psychoanalyst ke sath yeh session waqt zaya karna hai. Kamra thanda
aur andhera tha, aur jab woh larka bol raha tha, to usne kamray ko dekha.
Psychoanalyst ke liye woh ek paheli tha; uski photographic memory thi, uska IQ level
150 tha, uska academic record sab se behtareen tha, usne golf mein President’s Gold
Medal teesri martaba jeeta tha... aur yeh uska teesra khudkushi ki koshish thi. Uske

36
bohot pareshan walidain usay psychoanalyst ke paas laaye the.
Woh larka mulk ke chand naamwar aur nihayat ameer khandanon mein se ek se tha.
Woh paanch bhai behnon mein se chotha tha—chaar bhai aur ek behen; do bhai aur
uski behen usse bade thay. Uske walidain usay uski zahanat aur qabiliat ki wajah se
bohot pyar karte the—phir bhi pichle teen saalon mein usne teen martaba apni jaan
lene ki koshish ki thi. Pehli martaba jab woh apne bike pe ek rasta pe wrong
direction mein speed mein tha aur usne handlebar se apne haath utha diye the.
Uske peechay ek police officer ne usay aisa karte dekha. Woh kismat wala tha ke jab
woh ek car se takra gaya, to woh doosri car ke upar se uchal kar doosri taraf gir
gaya. Uski chand pasliyan toot gayin, aur ek haath aur ek paer fracture ho gaya.
Halanke police officer ne yeh sab hotay dekha, uske walidain ko laga ke yeh ek
haadsa tha. Usne unhe bataya ke usne galti se one-way street mein entry ki thi. Agle
saal, usne apne aap ko baandh kar nehr mein chalang lagai. Pul par maujood logon
ne usay upar khinch kar bacha liya. Iss martaba kai gawah thay lekin uske walidain ko
ab bhi yaqeen nahi aya ke usne khudkushi ki koshish ki thi. Salar ne kaha ke kuch
larkay uski car rok kar usay bandhn kar phenk gaye, aur jis tarah se woh bandha hua
tha, aisa lagta tha ke kisi aur ne usay baandha tha. Agle kuch hafton tak, police un
larkon ko dhoondte rahe jin ka hayuli Salar ne diya tha. Usman Sikandar ne ek guard
ko Salar ke sath din raat rahne ke liye rakha. Lekin teesri martaba woh apne walidain
ko dhoka nahi de paya. Usne bohot si sedatives ko pees kar kha liya. Asar itna tha ke
pait dhulwane ke baad bhi, usay theek hone mein kafi waqt laga. Iss martaba, uske
walidain ko koi shakk nahi tha ke usne kya kiya—bawarchi ne usay goliyan peeste,
doodh mein milate, aur usay pee jate dekha tha.

Tyyaba aur Sikandar ek sadme mein thay—unhone pehle do waqiyat ko

socha aur pachtaaya ke unhone uski kahaniyon par yaqeen kiya tha.
Pura ghar pareshan tha aur yeh khabar school, mohalla aur poore khandan mein
phail gayi. Woh ab inkaar nahi kar sakta tha ke usne khudkushi ki koshish ki, lekin
woh yeh batane ke liye tayar nahi tha ke kyun—na apne bhai behnon ko aur na apne
walidain ko. Sikandar ne irada kiya tha ke Salar ko A levels ke baad bahar bheje, jaise
usne apne doosre do beton ko bheja tha. Usne socha ke Salar ke liye admission lena
koi mushkil baat nahi thi: woh scholarship bhi le sakta tha. Lekin uske sab plan
kharab ho gaye. Aur, apne dost ke mashware par, usne Salar ko psychoanalyst ke
paas bheja.

37
"Bahut khoob, Salar, hum apni guftagu ko mukhtasir rakhte hain. Tum marna kyun
chahte ho?"
Salar ne kandhe uchkaye. "Tumhe kisne kaha ke main marna chahta hoon?"
"Tumne teen martaba khudkushi ki koshish ki."
"Marne aur koshish karne mein bohot farq hai."
"Yeh aik ittefaq hai ke tum teeno martaba bach gaye; warna tumne koi kasar nahi
chhodi thi."
"Dekho, tum jisey khudkushi ki koshish keh rahe ho, woh meri mansha nahi thi—
main sirf yeh jana chahta tha ke marne ka dard kaisa hota hai... kaisa mehsoos hota
hai."
Psychoanalyst ne uske chehre ko dekha jab usne bohot sakoon se apna maqsad
wazeh kiya.
"Aur tum kyun marne ka dard mehsoos karna chahte ho?"
"Bas aise hi... isey curiosity keh lo."
Usne gehri saans li aur is zaheen jawan ko dekha jo ab ceiling ko ghoor raha tha.
"To tumhari curiosity aik koshish se puri nahi hui?"
"Aray, main behosh ho gaya tha—main kuch mehsoos nahi kar saka. Agli martaba
bhi, aur is martaba bhi—main kuch mehsoos nahi kar saka."
Usne sir hilaya.
"To tum phir se chothi martaba koshish karoge?"
"Zaroor. Main jana chahta hoon ke intehai dard kaise mehsoos hota hai."
"Iska kya matlab hai?"
"Jis tarah ecstasy intehai khushi ka had hai—lekin mujhe samajh nahi aata ke ecstasy
ke baad kya hota hai. Aur aise hi dard ke sath bhi... ek aisa had hota hai dard ka
jahan insaan nahi ja sakta."
"Mujhe samajh nahi aaya..."
"Maan lo tum ek striptease dekh rahe ho—bahut zyada music hai, tum sharab pee
rahe ho aur tumne drugs bhi liye hue hain, tum dance kar rahe ho, aur dheere
dheere tum apni hosh kho dete ho—tum ecstasy mein ho... tab tum kahan hote ho?
Tum kya kar rahe hote ho? Tum nahi jaante... sirf yeh jaante ho ke tumhe bohot
maza aa raha hai, jo bhi hai. Jab main apni vacations ke liye bahar jaata hoon, to
apne cousins ke sath aise bars mein jaata hoon: meri problem yeh hai ke unki tarah,
main kabhi khushi se deewana nahi hota, mujhe kabhi ecstasy nahi hoti. Main unki
tarah excited nahi hota—aur yeh mujhe udaas kar deta hai. Maine socha agar main

38
khushi ke hudood paar nahi kar sakta to shayad main dard ke hudood paar kar sakta
hoon, lekin main nahi kar saka."
Woh bohot disappointed lag raha tha.
"Kyoun tum apna waqt aisi cheezon par zaya karte ho? Tumhara academic record
bohot fantastic hai..."
"Please, please, meri zahanat ke baray mein mat bolna shuru kar do. Main jaanta
hoon ke main kya hoon."
Salar ka lehja bohot majboori ka tha. "Main apni tareef se tang aa gaya hoon."
Psychoanalyst ne kuch dair tak usay dekha.
"Kyoun tum apne liye koi goal set nahi karte?"
"Maine set kiya hua hai."
"Kya?"
"Mujhe phir se khudkushi ki koshish karni hai."
Woh puri tarah pur-sukoon tha.
"Kya tum kisi cheez se depressed ho?"
"Bilkool nahi."
"To phir tum kyun marna chahte ho?"
"Kya main phir se shuru karoon—tumhe yeh batane ke liye ke main marna nahi
chahta? Ke main kuch aur karne ki koshish kar raha hoon?"
Woh bore ho gaya tha. Phir se wahi baat: psychoanalyst kuch dair ke liye khamosh
ho gaya.
"Kya tum yeh sab kisi larki ke liye kar rahe ho?"
Salar hairani se uski taraf dekha.
"Kisi larki ke liye?"
"Haan... koi larki jo tumhe bohot pasand hai aur jisse tum shaadi karna chahte ho."
Woh zor zor se hansne laga.
"Mere Khuda! Tumhara matlab hai main kisi larki ke liye apni jaan loonga?" woh hans
raha tha. "Ek larki se pyar aur apni jaan lena—bohot mazedaar hai!"
Psychoanalyst ne Salar ke sath kai aise sessions kiye aur nateeja hamesha wahi tha—
use kuch samajh nahi aata tha.
"Meri salaah hai ke aap use bahar na bhejein; iski bajaye use yahin rakhein aur uspar
nazar rakhein. Shayad woh yeh sab attention attract karne ke liye karta ho."
Yeh usne Salar ke walidain ko kai maheenon baad mashwara diya. Nateeja yeh nikla
ke Salar ko higher studies ke liye bahar bhejne ke bajaye, Usman ne usay Islamabad

39
ke ek top institution mein enroll kar diya. Usne socha ke agar Salar ko ghar ke
kareeb rakha gaya, to woh phir se khudkushi ki koshish nahi karega. Salar ne is faisle
par koi reakshan nahi diya jaise usne pehle ke faisle par bhi koi reakshan nahi diya
tha ke usay bahar bhejne ka.
Doctor ke sath aakhri session ke baad, Usman Sikandar aur Tyyaba ne Salar ko apne
bedroom mein bithaya aur uske sath lambi guftagu ki. Unhone un sab asaaishon ko
ginaya jo unhone pichle bohot saalon mein uske liye faraham ki thi; unhone usay
apni umeedon aur mohabbat aur lagao ke bare mein bataya. Woh unke samne
bayhis o bekaar betha raha, chewing gum chabata raha aur apne walid ka distress
aur apni maa ke aansoon dekhta raha. Usman ne aakhir mein puchha, "Tumhein kya
kami hai? Tum aur kya chahte ho? Batao."
Salar ne kuch dair socha aur kaha, "Ek sports car."
"Bahut khoob, main tumhare liye ek sports car import kar deta hoon, lekin phir kabhi
aisa mat karna—thik hai?"
Usman Sikandar ko behtar mehsoos hua.
Salar ne haan mein sar hilaya. Tyyaba ne apne aansoon ponchhe aur sukoon ka
saans liya. Jab Salar kamre se nikal gaya, Usman ne apni biwi se kaha,
Cigar jalate hue, "Tyyaba, tumhein apni activities kam karni hongi aur us par nazar
rakhni hogi. Koshish karo ke uske sath roz kuch waqt bitao."
Usne haan mein sir hilaya.

Waseem ne Imama ko lawn mein baithe dekha. Uske kaanon mein earphones the aur
woh apne Walkman par kuch sun rahi thi. Waseem chupke se peeche aaya aur
earphones ko utar liya, lekin Imama ne turant Walkman band kar diya. 'Tum kya sun
rahi ho, yahan akeli baithi ho?' usne buland awaaz mein kaha jab usne earphones
apne kaanon mein laga liye. Imama ne cassette ko pehle hi band kar diya tha. Woh
uth gayi aur earphones ko kheench liya. 'Ye badtameezi ki inteha hai-Waseem,
tameez se pesh aao!' Woh gusse mein thi. Waseem ne earphones ko chodne nahi
diya: Imama ke gusse ka us par koi asar nahi hua. 'Mujhe sunna hai tum kya sun rahi
thi-ismein badtameezi kya hai? Cassette on karo.' 'Main yahan yeh tumhare sunne ke
liye nahi baithi thi.' Tang aakar, usne headphones utar diye. 'Lo, ye lo aur dafa ho
jao.' Woh wapas baith gayi, Walkman ko mazbooti se pakad kar. Waseem ko laga ke
woh kuch pareshan si thi...fikar mein thi. Lekin usse kya fikar ho sakti thi? Usne is
soch ko jhatak diya. Ek aur kursi kheench kar, woh uske saamne baith gaya aur

40
earphones ko table par rakh diya. 'Lo ye lo aur itna gussa mat karo. Jo sun rahi thi
usi ko suno,' usne kaha, usko manane ki koshish karte hue. 'Nahi-ab mujhe kuch
sunna nahi hai. Tum rakh lo.' Imama ne earphones ko nahi uthaya. 'By the way, kya
tha?' 'Kya ho sakta hai?' usne wahi lejaab mein jawab diya. 'Ghazalain shayad?'
Waseem ne socha. 'Tum jaante ho, Waseem, tum mein purani auraton ke bohot se
traits hain.' 'Jaise?' 'Jaise ke nukta chini.' 'Aur...?' 'Aur doosron pe bina sharam ke
jasoosi karna.' 'Aur tumhe pata hai tum kitne khudgarz bante ja rahe ho?' Waseem
ne bhi jawab diya. Imama ne bura nahi mana. 'Toh ab tumhe pata chal gaya ke main
kitni khudgarz hoon?' usne is baar muskura kar jawab diya. 'Tum itni bewaqoof ho ke
mujhe yakeen nahi aa raha ke tum is natije pe pohnch gaye.' 'Agar tum mujhe
sharminda karne ki koshish kar rahe ho, toh mat karo-main sharminda nahi hone
wala.' Woh zid par tha. 'Lekin phir bhi, yeh ek farz hota hai koshish karne ka.' 'Kya
tum aaj kuch zyada hi smart ban rahe ho?' Waseem ne usko ghaur se dekha.
'Shayad.' 'Shayad nahi-zaroor. Waise, yeh us khamoshi se behtar hai jo tum
Islamabad se waapis aate ho.' 'Kaunsi khamoshi?' Imama ne jawab diya. 'Tum bohot
badal gayi ho Lahore jaane ke baad.' 'Main padhai ke dabao mein hoon.' 'Sabko yeh
dabao hota hai, Imama, lekin tum bilkul obsessed lagti ho.' Waseem ne uski baat
kaat di. 'Chalo is bakwas jhagde mein nahi padte...mujhe batao, tum aaj kal kya kar
rahe ho?' 'Maza kar raha hoon!' Woh apni kursi hilate hue bola. 'Yeh to tum saal
bhar karte ho. Main tumse kisi khaas shauk ke baare mein pooch rahi hoon.' 'Bas
doston ke saath ghoom raha hoon. Tumhe pata hona chahiye ke papers khatam
hone ke baad main kya karta hoon-tum sab bhool gayi ho, Imama.' Waseem ne usko
thoda udaas hokar dekha. 'Main tumse yeh umeed mein pooch rahi thi ke shayad
tum sudhar gaye ho-lekin meri baat bekaar thi,' Imama ne jawab diya. 'Tumhe pata
hona chahiye ke main tumse ek saal bada hoon, is liye apne ilzamaat khatam karo.'
Woh apni umar ko rub karne ki koshish kar raha tha. 'Is ladke ka kya haal hai jo
tumhare ghar ke paas rehta hai?' Imama ko achanak kuch yaad aaya. 'Chu-Chu? Kuch
ajeeb hai,' Waseem ne kandhe uchkaaye. 'Woh ajeeb shakhs hai. Agar mood mein ho
to tumhe aasman par chadha dega; agar bura mood ho to tumhe gutter mein daal
dega.' 'Tumhare zyada dost aise hi hain,' usne muskura kar kaha. 'Chidiya ek jaisa hi
udte hain.' 'Nahi-aisa nahi hai. Kam az kam main Chu-Chu ki tarah bartao nahi karta.'
'Kya woh bahar jaane wala tha?' Imama ne Waseem se poocha. 'Haan, uska plan tha,
lekin mujhe yakin nahi hai. Mere khayal se uske maa baap usko nahi bhejenge.' 'Uska
halat ajeeb hai-aisa lagta hai jaise woh kisi hippy tribe se hai ya hoga.' 'Tumne usey

41
aaj kal dekha hai?' 'Mainne usey kal dekha tha, jab main ghar aa rahi thi. Woh tab
jaa raha tha-ek ladki uske saath thi.' 'Ek ladki? Kya woh jeans pehni hui thi?' Waseem
achanak dilchaspi li. 'Haan.' 'Aur uske baal mushroom-cut the? Woh gori thi?'
Waseem ne muskurahat ke saath ungli snap ki. 'Ursa-uski girlfriend.' 'Pichli dafa
tumne kisi aur ka naam bataya tha,' Imama ne usko ghoorte hue kaha. 'Pichli dafa?
Kab tha woh?' Waseem ne socha. 'Saat ya aath mahine pehle, jab tumne uski
girlfriend se baat ki thi.' 'Oh, woh Sheba thi. Pata nahi ab woh kahan hai?' 'Phir uske
car ke rear screen par mobile number likha tha,' Imama hans kar number repeat
karte hue boli. 'Tumhe number yaad hai?' Waseem bhi hasa. 'Main kaise bhool sakti
hoon? Mainne kabhi mobile number itna bold likha hua nahi dekha aur woh bhi car
par!' Woh phir hansi. 'Mujhe lagta hai main bhi apna mobile number apni car par
likhwa doonga,' usne apne baalon mein ungliyaan phirate hue kaha. 'Kaunsa mobile?
Woh jo tumne abhi tak kharida nahi?' usne taana mara. 'Main is mahine ek kharid
raha hoon.' 'Phir Baba ke gusse ke liye tayyar rehna...agar tumne number car par
likhwa diya, toh sabse pehle woh tumhe call karenge.' 'Yahi cheez mujhe rok rahi hai,'
Waseem ne afsos se kaha. 'Tumhare liye behtar yeh hoga ke apni hadiyan tootne se
bachao aur apne jazbaat ko control mein rakho. Aur bhi maslein hain...agar Samiya
tumhare mobile connections ke baare mein jaan gayi to kya hoga?' Waseem ne uski
baat kaat di. 'Woh kya karegi? Main usse nahi darta.' 'Main jaanti hoon ke tum usse
nahi darte lekin woh chhe bhaiyon ki ek hi behen hai, agar tumhe samajh aaye. Jab
tum usse mangni ka plan bana rahe ho, toh kisi bhi buraayi ke natayej ko madde
nazar rakho.' Imama ne usko chidhane ka irada rakha. 'Afsos, main ab kya kar sakta
hoon? Mera muqaddar tay ho chuka hai,' Waseem ne ek banawati aah bhari. 'Mujhe
kabhi mobile nahi kharidna chahiye kyunki yeh mere liye bekaar hoga-kam az kam
girlfriend dhoondhne ke liye toh nahi.' Woh apni kursi phir se hilane laga. 'Der aaye
durust aaye, lekin tumne aqal to dekhi,' Imama ne kaha, jaise hi usne table par rakhe
earphones uthaye. 'Tum kya sun rahi thi?' Waseem ko yaad aaya jab usne usey
earphones uthate hue dekha. 'Kuch khaas nahi,' usne jawab tal gaya.

...................................................................

"Jab tum Lahore ja rahe ho toh Imama ke hostel ke paas se guzarte hue uske kapde
chhod dena. Mainne darzi se kapde liye hain, tum de dena," Salma ne Hashim
Mubeen se kaha.

42
"Mujhe bohot kaam hai-main Imama ke hostel nahi ja sakta," Hashim ne naaraazgi se
jawab diya.

"Driver tumhare saath ja raha hai; agar tum nahi ja sakte toh woh parcel de aayega.
Mausam khatam hone wala hai-agar ab usse kapde nahi mile toh bekaar pade
rahenge, aur mujhe pata nahi woh agle kab aayegi," Salma ne lambe explanation di.

"Thik hai-main le jaunga. Agar mujhe waqt na mila, toh driver ke haath bhej
doonga," Hashim maan gaya.

Lahore mein usne bohot busy din guzara aur jab woh free hua toh paanch baj chuke
the. Usne faisla kiya ke parcel khud Imama ko dekar aaye aur hostel gaya. Admission
ke baad pehli dafa woh yahan aaya tha.

Usne gatekeeper ke zariye usko paigham bheja aur intezar karne laga. Das minute
guzar gaye...phir pandrah, phir bees: woh bechain ho raha tha.

Isse pehle ke woh doosra paigham bhejta, usne dekha ke gatekeeper wapas aa raha
hai ek ladki ke saath. Jab woh kareeb aaye, usne dekha ke woh Imama ki bachpan ki
dost Islamabad se hai.

"Assalaam Alaikum, Uncle!" Javeria ne kaha.

"W'alaikum Assalaam, beta-kaisi ho?"

"Main bilkul theek hoon, shukriya."

"Main Imama ke liye kuch kapde laaye hoon-uski maa ne bheje hain jab main Lahore
aa raha tha. Main yahan lagbhag ek ghante se intezar kar raha hoon, lekin woh nahi
aayi," Hashim ne shikayat bhari awaaz mein kaha.

"Uncle, Imama apni doston ke saath shopping karne gayi hai. Aap mujhe parcel de
dijiye, main usko de doongi."

Usne parcel Javeria ko diya aur alvida kehkar chala gaya. Javeria hostel wapas gayi.
Uske chehre se muskurahat gaayab thi aur uski pareshani saaf nazar aa rahi thi. Jab
woh apne kamre ki taraf mod gayi, toh uski muskurahat warden ko dekhte hi wapas
aa gayi.

"Kya tumne uske walid se baat ki?" warden ne poocha.

43
"Haan. Fikar ki koi baat nahi-woh Islamabad mein apne ghar par hai. Asal mein, usne
mujhe kuch kapde diye the jo meri family ne bheje the; jab woh Lahore aa rahe the,
Imama ne kaha ke le aaye. Lekin jab yahan aaye toh usne Imama ko poocha." Ek
saans mein, Javeria ne kai jhoot bol diye. Warden ne sakoon ka saans liya.

"Shukr hai! Main bohot fikr mein thi... usne mujhse weekend ke liye ghar jaane ke
baare mein kaha tha... woh kahan ho sakti thi?"

Jaise hi Javeria kamre mein daakhal hui, Rabia uth gayi.

"Kya khabar hai? Woh Islamabad mein hai, hai na?"

"Nahi," Javeria ne mayoosi se kaha.

"Ya Khuda!" Rabia ne Javeria ke kandhon par haath rakhe. "Woh kahan gayi ho sakti
hai?"

"Mujhe kya pata? Usne mujhe sirf itna hi kaha tha ke woh ghar ja rahi hai-lekin woh
nahi gayi. Toh kahan gayi? Imama aisi ladki nahi hai," Javeria ne parcel apne bistar
par phek diya.

"Tumne warden ko kya kaha?" Rabia ne pareshani se poocha.

"Maine warden ko kya kaha? Jhoot bola; aur kya kar sakti thi? Agar main usko batati
ke woh Islamabad mein nahi hai, toh hungama ho jata-woh police bula leti."

"Aur tumne Uncle ko kya kaha?" Rabia ne poocha.

"Usko bhi yahi jhoot bola ke woh shopping kar rahi hai."

"Ab kya hoga?" Rabia bohot pareshan thi.

"Mujhe fikr hai ke agar woh waapis nahi aayi, toh main musibat mein pad jaungi. Sab
log samjhenge ke main uske saath mili hui thi-ke mujhe uska programme pata tha
aur main uske walid aur warden se jhoot boli."

Javeria ki pareshani badh rahi thi.

"Kya Imama ka accident ho gaya hoga? Woh aisi ladki nahi hai..." Rabia ko naya dar
laga.

"Ab hum kya kar sakte hain? Hum is baare mein kisi se baat bhi nahi kar sakte,"
Javeria ne apni ungliyan chabate hue kaha.

"Zainab se baat karte hain," Rabia ne tajweez di.

44
"Khuda ke liye, Rabia, ek baar toh samajhdaari dikhao! Hum Zainab se baat karke kya
hasil karenge?" Javeria bohot tang aayi thi.

"Toh intezar karte hain. Shayad woh raat tak ya kal subah waapis aa jaye-phir koi
masla nahi hoga. Aur agar woh nahi aayi, toh humein warden ko sach batana
padega." Rabia ne soch samajh kar kaha. Javeria ne kuch nahi kaha lekin uske chehre
par fikar saaf nazar aa rahi thi.

Javeria aur Rabia us raat mushkil se so payi: woh dar ke mare huye the. Agar Imama
waapis na aayi toh kya hoga? Yeh sawal unke zehan mein dar ki tarah chha gaya tha.
Unhe apne career barbad hote nazar aa rahe the aur unhe pata tha ke unke
gharwalo ka kya reaction hoga—unpar ilzaam aur tanqeed hogi ke unhone Imama ke
saath milke uske walid ko sach nahi bataya aur warden se sach chupaya. Unhone
socha bhi nahi tha ke Hashim Mubeen aur uske khandan ka reaction kya hoga jab
unhe sach ka samna hoga—woh in do doston ke kirdar ko kaise dekhenge. Hostel ki
doosri ladkiyan unke baare mein baat karengi aur agar yeh police ka mamla ban
gaya, toh unhe jurm mein shamil hone ka ilzaam diya jayega. Jab unhone in natayej
ke baare mein socha, unke baalon mein jhanjhanahat si aagayi.

Phir se wahi sawal uthha: Imama aakhir kahan gayi thi? Aur kyun? Woh uske guzre
hue rawaiye ka tajziya karne lage. Pichle ek saal mein woh kitni badal gayi thi: woh
unke saath bahar jaana chor chuki thi aur hamesha pareshan aur chirchiri rehti thi;
uski padhai mein bhi dilchaspi kam ho gayi thi aur woh bilkul khud mein sama gayi
thi.

"Yaad hai jab usne humare saath shopping par jaane se inkaar kar diya tha aur kahin
aur chali gayi thi? Mujhe yakin hai ke woh usi jagah gayi hai, aur hum bewakoofon ki
tarah uski har baat maan gaye," Rabia ne yaad dilaaya.

"Lekin Imama aisi nahi thi—maine use bachpan se jaana hai. Woh kabhi aisi nahi thi,"
Javeria ne ab bhi uspar shaq nahi kiya.

"Badalne mein zyada waqt nahi lagta—insaan ko bas kamzor kirdar ki zaroorat hoti
hai." Rabia ke shak un par haavi ho rahe the.

"Rabia, usne apni pasand se mangni ki thi—woh aur Asjad ek doosre ko bohot
pasand karte hain—phir woh aisa kyun karegi," Javeria ne apni dost ka difa karne ki
koshish ki.

45
"Phir tum mujhe batao ke woh kahan hai? Mainne use makhi bana kar diwar par nahi
chipka diya. Uske walid yahan usse milne aaye hain aur woh apne ghar se aaye hain,
to zahir hai ke woh wahan nahi hai—aur usne humse kaha tha ke woh ghar ja rahi
hai." Rabia ki awaaz mein becharapan tha.

"Ho sakta hai ke uska accident ho gaya ho... ke woh ghar nahi pohnch payi ho..."

"Jab bhi woh ghar jaati hai, toh hamesha call karti hai ke uska bhai use bus stop se
lene aaye. Agar is baar bhi call ki hoti, toh woh log aaraam se nahi baithe hote agar
woh ghar nahi pohnchti—woh hostel ko call karte. Uske walid ke rawaiye se lagta tha
ke usne weekend ke liye ghar jaane ka koi plan nahi banaya tha." Rabia ne Javeria ke
khayalat ko rok diya.

"Haan, woh mahine mein do baar ghar nahi jaati, lekin is baar usne faisla kiya ke
jaaye... agle hi hafte. Asal mein, usne warden se khaas ijazat li thi. Zaroor kuch na
kuch galat hai." Javeria ki fikrein phir se jaag gayi.

"Humein uske saath saath buri museebat ka samna karna padega. Humne uske walid
ko sach nahi bataya ke woh yahan nahi hai; unhone jo bhi karna tha kar lete... yeh
unki problem hoti. Kam az kam hum is museebat mein nahi hote." Rabia ne
muttering ki.

"Waise bhi, ab hum kya kar sakte hain? Subah tak intezaar karte hain—agar woh nahi
aayi, toh humein warden ko sach batana padega." Javeria kamre mein idhar udhar
chal rahi thi.

Unhone poori raat baatein ki, fikr ki—ek pal ke liye bhi nahi soye. Agle din unhone
classes attend nahi ki—unki haalat dekhtay huye jaana bekaar tha. Imama har
Saturday ko subah nau baje tak waapas aa jaati thi jab woh weekend ke liye ghar
jaati thi, lekin ab tak uska koi pata nahi tha.

Rabia aur Javeria ne apna hosh kho diya tha—do baj kar tees minute ho chuke the
aur woh ab tak nahi aayi thi. Safed chehre aur kaanpte hue, woh warden ke kamre ki
taraf gaye, apne bayan banate hue. Warden ke kamre se thodi doori par unhone
dekha ke Imama aram se aa rahi thi. Bag kandhe par aur folder haath mein tha, woh
yaqeenan college se waapis aayi thi. Javeria aur Rabia ko laga jaise zameen unke
neeche se khisak gayi thi jo achanak mazboot ho gayi thi. Unki ruki hui saansein
wapas aayi aur agle din ke akhbaaron ki cheekhti hue headlines achanak ghayab ho

46
gayi. Yeh saari dar ke jagah unke andar gusse ne le li jo Imama ko dekh kar aroused
ho gaya tha.

Usne unhe dekh liya aur unki taraf badh rahi thi; uske chehre par ek bohot
khushgawar muskurahat thi. "Tum college kyun nahi aayi aaj?" usne salaam karne ke
baad poocha.

"Hum kisi jagah ke baare mein tab soch sakte hain jab tumhari pareshaani se fursat
mile," Rabia ka lehja talkhi se bharpur tha. Imama ki muskurahat gaayab ho gayi.
"Rabia, kya masla hai, tum itni gusse mein kyun ho?" usne pareshani se kaha.

"Kamre mein aao, phir batati hoon." Rabia ne uska bazu pakad kar andar kheench
liya. Javeria bhi bina kuch kahe peechhe chali gayi. Imama Rabia aur Javeria ke
rawaiye se hairan thi. Rabia ne darwaza band kiya aur Imama ki taraf dekha.

"Tum kahan se aa rahi ho?" usne gusse bhari, tez awaaz mein poocha.

"Islamabad se, aur kahan se?" Imama ne apna bag neeche rakha. Uske jawab ne
Rabia ke gusse ko aur bhadkaya.

"Tumhe sharam aani chahiye, Imama… humein aise dhoka dena, hamari aankhon
mein dhool jhonkna… tum kya sabit karna chahti ho? Ke hum bewakoof hain? Idiots
hain? Fools hain? Theek hai, hum hain, maan leti hoon, warna hum tumhari har baat
pe andhi tarah yakeen nahi karte aur na hi dhokha khaate," Rabia ne kaha.

"Mujhe tumhari baat samajh nahi aa rahi... kis dhokhe ki baat kar rahi ho? Behtar
hoga agar tum baith kar mujhse aaraam se baat karo." Imama bechari lag rahi thi.

"Weekend tumne kahan guzara?" Pehli dafa, Javeria ne baat mein mudakhlat ki.

"Maine kaha na, main Islamabad mein thi aur college se seedha aayi hoon, aur ab
college se..." Rabia ne uski baat kaat di.

"Ye bakwaas band karo, Imama. Yeh jhoot nahi chalega—tum Islamabad nahi gayi
thi."

"Tum yeh kaise keh sakti ho?" Imama ne apni awaaz buland ki.

"Kyuki tumhare walid yahan aaye the kal."

Imama ke chehre ka rang ur gaya. Woh khamosh thi.

47
"Ab kyun chup ho? Kyun nahi kehti ke tum Islamabad mein thi?" Rabia ne tanziya
kaha.

"Baba yahan aaye the?" Imama ne dheere se poocha.

"Haan. Woh tumhare liye kuch kapde laaye the," Javeria ne kaha.

"Kya unhe pata chal gaya tha ke main hostel mein nahi thi?"

"Maine unhe jhoot bola ke tum kuch kaam se bahar gayi thi. Unhone kapde diye aur
chale gaye," Javeria ne jawab diya. Imama ne ek araam ka saans liya.

"Iska matlab unhe kuch pata nahi chala," Imama ne kaha aur bed par baith kar apne
sandal ke straps kholne lagi.

"Nahi... unhe kuch pata nahi chala. Agle hafte tum phir se kahin aur ja sakti ho."

"Dhyan rahe, Imama, main warden se is baare mein baat karne wali hoon. Humne
tumhari taraf se bohot fikr ki hai aur ab aur nahi bardasht kar sakte. Tumhare maa
baap ko pata chalna chahiye ke tum kya kar rahi ho." Rabia sakhti se boli; Imama ne
uski taraf dekha.

"Maine kya kiya? Maine kya kiya hai?"

"Kya kiya hai? Tum kehti ho ke ghar ja rahi ho aur hostel se gayab ho jaati ho—yeh
tumhare liye kuch naya nahi hai." Imama ne jawab nahi diya. Usne doosre paon ke
straps kholne shuru kiye.

"Mujhe warden ke paas jaana chahiye tha," Rabia ne kaha aur darwaze ki taraf
badhne lagi.

Javeria uth kar usko roka. "Hum warden se baad mein baat karenge. Pehle usse baat
kar lete hain—jaldbazi mat karo."

"Lekin uski zid aur rawaiya dekho… uske chehre par sharam ka koi asar nahi hai,"
Rabia ne Imama ki taraf ishara karte hue kaha; woh ghusse se bhar gayi thi.

"Main tumhe sab kuch bata doongi; itna gussa hone ki zaroorat nahi hai. Mainne
kuch galat nahi kiya aur na hi kisi galat jagah gayi… aur na hi bhaag gayi thi." Imama
ne narmi se kaha, jab usne apne paon jooton se azad kiye.

"Phir tum kahan gayi thi?" Javeria ne poocha.

"Ek dost ke saath."

48
"Kaunsa dost?"

"Ek hai…"

"Jhoot bolne ki kya zaroorat thi?"

"Mujhe tumhare sawalon se bachna tha aur agar main apne gharwalon ko batati ya
unki ijazat mangti, to woh kabhi nahi maante."

"To kahan gayi thi aur kyun?" Javeria hairan thi.

"Mainne kaha na, main tumhe bataungi? Thoda waqt do," Imama ne jawab diya.

"Tumhe waqt dein taa ke tum phir se gayab ho jao aur shayad is dafa waapis bhi na
aao!" Rabia ab bhi ghusse mein thi, lekin thoda kam. "Tumhe yeh bhi ehsaas nahi tha
ke tum humein mushkil mein daal rahi ho. Tumhe pata bhi hai ke yeh hamare liye
kitni zillat wali baat ho sakti thi—kya tumhe koi ehsaas hai?" usne kaha.

"Mujhe kabhi umeed nahi thi ke Baba itni achanak yahan aa jayenge, aur mujhe nahi
laga tha ke yeh tumhare liye sharmindagi wali surat bana dega—warna main aisa
kabhi nahi karti." Imama ke lehje mein nadamat thi.

"Kam az kam tum humein bharosa karti aur batati ke tum kahan ja rahi ho," Javeria
ne izafa kiya.

"Main aisa phir kabhi nahi karungi," Imama ne wada kiya.

"Khair, mujhe tum par ya tumhare waadon par koi bharosa nahi hai," Rabia ne tehqi
se kaha.

"Rabia, mujhe apna mawqif wazeh karne do—tum bohot ghalat samajh rahi ho,"
Imama ne kamzori se jawab diya.

"Kya tumhe ehsaas hai ke hamare career aur zindagi daao par lag gaye hain? Kya isi
ko dosti kehte ho?"

"Theek hai, maine ghalti ki—mujhe maaf kar do," Imama ne haar maan li.

"Jab tak tum humein nahi batati ke tum kahan gayi thi, hum koi maafi nahi
maanenge aur na hi tumhe maaf karenge," Rabia ne zidd pakdi.

Imama ne chup chaap unhe dekha. Kuch dair baad usne kaha, "Main Sabiha ke paas
gayi thi."

49
Rabia aur Javeria ne hairan hokar ek doosre ki taraf dekha. "Kaun?" unhone ek saath
poocha.

"Tum usse jaanti ho," Imama ne jawab diya.

"Woh fourth year ki student, Sabiha?" Javeria apni hairani nahi chhupa saki.

Imama ne sir hilaaya. "Lekin tum wahan kyun gayi thi?"

"Woh meri dost hai."

"Dost? Kaunsi dost? Tum usse mushkil se jaanti ho. Tum usse sirf college mein milti
ho; tumhe pata bhi nahi woh kis tarah ki insaan hai, aur tum uske ghar weekend
guzarte ja rahi ho," Javeria ne afsurda hokar kaha.

"Aur woh bhi dhoke se—kam az kam tumhe humein aur apne gharwalon se jhoot
bolne ki zaroorat nahi thi," Rabia ne izafa kiya. Uske lehje mein gussa tha.

"Tum usse call karke pooch sakti ho ke main wahan thi," Imama ne kaha.

"Chalo maan lete hain tum wahan thi, lekin hum pooch sakte hain kyun?" Javeria ne
zidd ki.

"Mujhe uski madad chahiye thi," Imama ne kuch dair ke baad kaha.

Woh uski taraf hairani se dekhti rahi. "Kis baat mein madad?"

Imama ne unhe ghurte hue jawab diya, bina palkein jhapkaye. Javeria bechain ho
gayi. "Kaisi madad?" usne phir se poocha.

"Tum bohot achi tarah jaanti ho," Imama ne narmi se jawab diya.

"Main?" Javeria kuch haraan si ho gayi; usne Rabia ki taraf dekha jo usko ghaur se
dekh rahi thi.

"Haan, tum bohot achi tarah jaanti ho."

"Imama, isay paheliyan mat banao. Seedha seedha batao," Javeria ne tez awaaz mein
kaha.

Imama ne kuch dair ke liye usko chup chap dekha aur phir apna sir jhuka liya—woh
apna mawaqif haar chuki thi.

…………………………………

50
"Batao, tumhari zindagi ki sab se pyari khwahish kya hai?" Us din Imama ne Javeria
se poocha. Javeria ne kuch dair tak Imama ka chehra dekha aur phir boli, "Meri sab
se pyari khwahish yeh hai ke tum Musalman ban jao."

Imama ke dil mein ek jhatka laga—hairaan aur goom, usne Javeria ki taraf dekha jo
dheemi aur ahista se bol rahi thi.

"Tum meri itni pyari dost ho, itni qareebi ke tumhein gumraah raaste par dekh kar
dukh hota hai… sirf tumhein nahi, balki tumhari poori khandaan ko. Agar Allah mujhe
mere kisi nek amal ke badle jannat mein bheje, to main chahti hoon ke tum bhi mere
saath ho—lekin is ke liye zaroori hai ke tum Musalman bano."

Imama ke chehre par mukhtalif ehsaas guzar gaye. Kuch dair baad usne kuch kaha.
"Javeria, mujhe umeed nahi thi ke tum mujhse Tehreem ki tarah baat karogi; maine
socha tha tum meri dost ho, lekin tum bhi…"

Javeria ne narmi se uski baat kaat di. "Jo kuch Tehreem ne tumse kaha tha woh
theek tha."

Imama ne uski taraf ghusse se dekha: woh Javeria ke alfaaz se gehri dukh mein thi.
"Main tab tumhare saath itni dostana nahi thi ke tumse yeh baat keh sakoon, lekin
main Tehreem se mutafiq thi. Agar usne kaha ke tum Musalman nahi ho, toh woh
ghalat nahi thi—tum nahi ho."

Imama ki aankhon mein aansoo bhar aaye. Woh achanak uth khadi hui, bina kuch
kahe.

Javeria bhi khadi ho gayi. Imama ne jaane ki koshish ki lekin Javeria ne uska haath
pakad liya. "Mera haath chhodo… mujhe jaane do. Dobara mujhse baat karne ki
koshish bhi mat karna."

Imama ka gala bhar aaya aur usne Javeria ki girfit se apne aap ko azad karne ki
koshish ki. "Imama, meri baat samajhne ki koshish karo…"

Lekin Imama ne usse baat mukammal nahi karne di. "Tumne mujhe buhat dukh diya
hai, Javeria. Mujhe tumse yeh umeed nahi thi."

"Main tumhe dukh nahi dena chahti: main tumhe sach bata rahi hoon. Jazbati hone
ya rone ki bajaye, sirf thanda dimaag aur fareeqana soch se mere kahin baton par
ghour karo.

51
Main kyun bina kisi wajah ke tumhe dukh pohanchaungi?"

Javeria ne uska haath nahi chhoda.

"Ho sakta hai ke tum jaanti ho ke tum yeh sab kyun kar rahi ho, lekin main jo jaanti
hoon woh yeh hai ke tum aur Tehreem mein koi farq nahi hai. Asal mein, tumne
mujhe usse zyada dukh diya—woh meri itni qareebi aur purani dost nahi thi jitni tum
ho."

Imama ke chehre par aansoo beh rahe the aur usne apne haath ko Javeria ki girfit se
chhurane ki koshish ki.

"Tumne mujhse israr kiya ke main tumhe apne dil ki sab se pyari khwahish bataoon.
Isi liye main tumhe nahi bata rahi thi—main ne tumhe pehle hi kaha tha ke tum
dukhogi, lekin tumne yakeen dilaya tha ke tum nahi hogi," Javeria ne usse yaad
dilane ki koshish ki.

"Agar mujhe pata hota ke tumhara jawab yeh hoga, to main kabhi tumse yeh nahi
poochti ke tumhari zindagi ki sab se pyari khwahish kya hai," Imama ghusse se boli.

"Phir main kabhi tumse is mozo par baat nahi karungi," Javeria ne difaa'i andaaz
mein jawab diya.

"Kya farq padta hai? Ab mujhe pata chal gaya ke tum mere bare mein kya sochti ho.
Hamari dosti kabhi waise nahi ho sakti jaisi pehle thi. Maine kabhi tumhare aqeede
par tanqeed nahi ki, lekin mere mazhab ko Islam ke firqeon mein se aik samajhne ke
bajaye, tumne mujhe deen ke dairay se bahar nikal diya," Imama ne kaha.

"Agar main yeh kar rahi hoon, to main ghalat nahi hoon—Islam ke tamam firqe yeh
maan'te hain ke Hazrat Muhammad (SAW) Allah ke akhri rasool hain aur nabuwat un
par khatam hui," Javeria bhi ab ghusse aur pareshaan thi.

"Apni zaban sambhalo!" Imama ne gusse se kaha.

"Main tumhe sach bata rahi hoon, Imama…aur sirf main nahi…sab ko maloom hai ke
tumhari khandaan ne dolat hasil karne ke liye apna mazhab badla. Jazbati hone ki
zaroorat nahi—koshish karo thanda dimaag se sochne ki…"

"Mujhe tumhari baaton par thanda dimaag se sochne ki zaroorat nahi," Imama ne
uski baat kaat di. "Mujhe maloom hai ke kya sach hai aur kya nahi…"

52
"Tumhe kuch maloom nahi, aur yeh hi sab se dukh bhari baat hai," Javeria ne jawab
diya.

Imama ne kuch nahi kaha. Usne apna haath jhatke se chhuraya aur tez qadam se
chal padi. Javeria ne uske peeche jaane ki koshish nahi ki. Fikrmandi se usne Imama
ko door jaate hue dekha—Imama ka is tarah ghussa dikhana Javeria ko fikr mein daal
gaya.

END OF CHAPTER 1

53
 CHAPTER 2

Yeh sab kuch school mein ek waqia se shuru hua. Imama us waqt Matric class ki
student thi; Tehreem uski achi doston mein se ek thi. Woh na sirf bohot saal se
school mein sath thi, balke unke gharwale bhi ek dusre ko bohot achi tarah se jaante
the. Apni sab doston mein se, Imama Tehreem aur Javeria ke bohot qareeb thi, lekin
usay yeh baat khatakti thi ke dosti ke bawajood, yeh dono uske ghar aane se
katratein thi. Imama unhein apni birthday aur doosre events par dawat deti thi, lekin
woh hamesha yehi bahana bana kar mana kar deti thi ke unhein bahar jane ki ijazat
nahi hai. Kuch moqon par Imama ne khud unke walidain se baat ki, lekin phir bhi
unhone apni betiyon ko Imama ke ghar janay nahi diya. Aakhirkar, usne apne
walidain se is baat ki shikayat ki.

"Donon tumhari dost Syed hain. Aam tor par woh hamare firqe ko pasand nahi karte
aur isliye tumhari doston ke walidain unhein hamare ghar aane nahi dete," uski maan
ne samjhaya.

"Iska matlab kya hai? Woh humein pasand kyun nahi karte?" Imama apni maan ki
baat par hairan hui.

"Sirf woh hi bata sakte hain ke woh humein kyun nahi pasand karte. Woh humein
ghair-Muslim bhi kehte hain."

"Woh aisa kyun kehte hain? Kya hum Musalman nahi hain?" Imama ne jawab diya.

"Bilkul hum Musalman hain... lekin woh hamare nabi ko nahi maante," uski maan ne
kaha.

"Kyoon?"

"Ab main is 'kyoon' ka kya jawab doon? Woh apni soch mein bohot sakht hain."

"Ammi, lekin woh kabhi mujhse mazhab par baat nahi karte, phir mazhab kyun masla
ban jata hai? Isse kya farq padta hai aur iska ek dusre ke ghar janay se kya talluq?"
Imama pareeshan thi.

"Koun in baton ko unhein samjha sakta hai? Woh humein jhoota kehte hain aur tang
karte hain. Agar woh hamare bare mein zyada jaante aur hamare nabi ki taleemat ko

54
samajhte, to aisa nahi karte. Khair, agar tumhari dost tumse milne nahi aati to
pareshan hone ki zaroorat nahi—tumhein bhi unke ghar nahi jana chahiye."

"Ammi, unki hamare bare mein ghalat fehmi door honi chahiye," Imama ne kaha.

"Tum yeh nahi kar sakti—unki walidain unhein hamare khilaf bharakate rehte hain,
unke dilon mein zehar bhar rahe hain."

"Nahi, Ammi! Woh meri sab se achi doston hain—unhein mere bare mein aisa nahi
sochna chahiye. Main unhein hamari kuch kitabein doon gi...shayad phir unke zehan
aur dil se yeh ghalat fehmi door ho jaye," Imama umeed se boli. Uski maan khamosh
ho gayi.

"Kya aapko mera khayal acha nahi laga?" Imama ne poocha.

"Aisa nahi hai... unhein apni kitabein do lekin aise nahi ke unhein lage ke tum apna
mazhab un par thop rahi ho. Bas unhein yeh kehna ke tum chahti ho ke woh hamare
bare mein zyada jaan sakein aur humein behtar samajh sakein," uski maan ne kaha.

Imama chup chap sar hila gayi.

--------------------------

Kuch din baad, Imama kuch kitabein school le kar gayi. Jab woh break ke doran
saath thi, to usne kitabein nikal li.

"Mere paas tumhare liye kuch hai."

"Waqai? Dikhao kya hai," Javeria ne kaha.

Imama ne bag se do sets nikal kar ek Javeria aur doosra Tehreem ki taraf barhaya.
Donon ne chup chap kitabein dekhi. Javeria kuch na boli, lekin Tehreem ne react
kiya.

"Yeh kya hai?" usne thande lehje mein kaha.

"Maine yeh kitabein tumhare liye laayi hain," Imama ne jawab diya.

"Kyoon?"

"Taake tumhari kuch ghalat fehmiyaan door ho sakein," Imama ne samjhaya.

"Kis qisam ki ghalat fehmiyaan?"

"Hamare firqe ke baare mein jo ghalat fehmiyaan hain," Imama ne wazeha kiya.

55
"Kisne tumhe kaha ke hamare paas tumhare 'mazhab' ya tumhare nabi ke baare mein
koi ghalat fehmi hai?" Tehreem ne bohot sanjeedgi se poocha.

"Mujhe khud andaza hota hai: isi liye tum mere ghar nahi aati. Tumhe shayad lagta
hai ke hum Quran nahi parte ya hum Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) ko nabi nahi
maante, halanke aisa nahi hai—hum in sab cheezon ko maante hain. Bas hum kehte
hain ke Nabi Muhammad (PBUH) ke baad, hamari community mein ek aur nabi hain
jo hamare liye utne hi maqbool hain jitne ke Nabi Muhammad (PBUH)," Imama ne
bohot sanjeedgi se samjhaya.

Tehreem ne kitabein wapas kar di. "Hamein tumhare ya tumhare mazhab ke baare
mein koi ghalat fehmi nahi hai. Hum tumhare mazhab ke baare mein bohot kuch
jaante hain, aur hamein tumhare wazahat dene ki zaroorat nahi," usne sakhti se kaha.
"Aur jitni yeh kitabein hain, na to mere paas aur na hi Javeria ke paas in bekaar
daawoon, fanciful ideas, aur gumrah kun aqeedon par waqt zaya karne ka waqt hai
jo tum apni kitabein kehti ho." Tehreem ne Javeria ke haath se kitabein cheen kar
Imama ko wapas kar di, jiska chehra sharam se laal ho gaya. Usne kabhi yeh umeed
nahi ki thi ke Tehreem itni taizi se react karegi, warna woh kabhi yeh ghalti nahi karti
ke kitabein laati ya unhe dikhati.

"Jahan tak tumhare us izzat ke daaway ka taluq hai, tumhein pata hona chahiye ke ek
khuda ka mukarrar nabi aur ek apne aap ko nabi kehne wale mein bohot farq hota
hai. Agar tum sach mein Quran ko maanti ho to uske har lafz ko bhi mano—ek
cheez hoti hai nabi hona aur doosri hoti hai nabi ban jaana."

"Tehreem, tum mujhe aur mere deen ko zaleel kar rahi ho!" Imama ki aankhon mein
aansoo aa gaye.

"Main kisi ko zaleel nahi kar rahi—main sirf sach bol rahi hoon aur agar tumhe yeh
zaleel lagta hai, to yeh tumhara masla hai. Main iske baare mein kuch nahi kar sakti."
Tehreem ne sakhti se kaha.

"Magar hum Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) ki nabuwwat ko maante hain," Imama ne zor
diya.

"Hum bhi Hazrat Eesa ki nabuwwat ko maante hain aur yeh ke Bible ek asmani kitaab
hai, to kya hum Christian ho gaye? Aur hum Hazrat Musa aur Hazrat Dawood ki
nabuwwat ko bhi maante hain...to kya hum Yahudi hain?" Tehreem ne mazaq urane

56
ke lehje mein kaha. "Hamari deen Islam hai aur hum Holy Prophet ke follower hain,
aur jab hum doosre anbiyah aur unki taleemat ko izzat dete hain, hum phir bhi Islam
ke follower hain. Hum unke mazhab ko follow nahi karte. Isi tarah, tum apne nabi ko
follow karte ho isliye tum Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) ki nabuwwat ki finality ko
maan-ne se inkar karti ho lekin phir bhi apne deen ko Islam ka ek firqa kehti ho.
Tumhare nabi aur tumhare community ke leaders kehte hain ke jo Mirza ko nabi nahi
maante, wo sachay Musalman nahi hain—asal mein, tumne humein Islam se nikal
diya hai." Tehreem ke is lambay qateelay bayan ke doran Javeria khamosh rahi.
Tehreem ne mazid zor de kar kaha, "Yeh behtar hoga ke tum apne deen ya mere
deen ke baare mein baat na karo. Hum kayi saalon se dost hain. Dosti ko waise hi
chalne do."

"Jahan tak tumhare ghar na aane ka taluq hai, tum theek keh rahi ho...mere walidain
yeh manzoor nahi karte. School mein tumse dosti karna alag baat hai—insaan bohot
logon se dost hota hai aur mazhab koi masla nahi hota, lekin ek dusre ke ghar jana
alag baat hai. Mujhe nahi lagta ke mere walidain ko is par aitraaz hoga ke main apne
Christian ya Hindu doston ke ghar jaoon kyunke wo apne beliefs follow karte hain
aur apne aap ko Musalman nahi kehte. Lekin tumhare case mein unhe manzoor nahi
hoga kyunke asal mein tumhare log naye deen mein tabdeel ho gaye hain—lekin
tum pretend karte ho ke tum hamare hisse ho." Tehreem ne aakhirkar uthkar janay
ka irada kiya.

Uske janay par, Imama ne Javeria ki taraf dekha jo uske paas baithi thi. "Kya tum bhi
mere baare mein aisa hi sochti ho?"

"Tehreem ne yeh sab ghusse mein kaha—uski baaton se dil mat dukhao," Javeria ne
usse tasalli dene ki koshish ki. "Bas inhe nazar andaz karo. Chalo wapas class mein
chalte hain...break khatam hone wali hai."

Imama uth kar Javeria ke sath chali gayi.

--------------------------------------
Jab Imama us din ghar aayi, to usne apne kamre ko band kar liya aur dil khol kar
royi. Tehreem ke alfaaz ne usay bohot chot pahunchayi thi. Hashim Mubeen us din
mamool se jaldi kaam se wapas aaye aur unki biwi Salma ne bataya ke Imama
tabiyat se theek nahi hai. Wo uske kamre mein dekhnay gaye. Uske sujhe hue
aankhon ko dekh kar wo hairan ho gaye.

57
"Kya baat hai, Imama?" unhon ne kareeb aakar poocha. Imama bistar par baithi aur
kuch kahe baghair phir se rone lagi. Hashim uske saath bistar par baith gaye.

"Kya hua, Imama?"

"Tehreem ne aaj school mein mujh se bohot bura sulook kiya," usne aansuon ke
darmiyan kaha. Hashim thora mutma'in hue.

"To kya tumhara phir se jhagda ho gaya?"

"Baba, aap nahi jaante usne mujh se kya kaha," Imama boli. "Baba, usne..."

Imama ne apne walid ko sara waqia sunaya jo uske aur Tehreem ke darmiyan hua
tha. Hashim ka chehra rang badalne laga.

"Kisne tumhe kaha tha ke un kitabon ko school le kar jao taake unhe taleem do?"
unhon ne use danta.

"Mujhe unki ghalat fehmiyan dur karni thi," usne kamzori se jawab diya.

"Tumhe kya zarurat thi ke logon ki ghalat fehmiyan dur karte phiro? Wo hamare ghar
na aayein, wo hamare bare mein bura sochein—tumhe kya farq parta hai? Unhein
unki halat par chhor do: humein kya farq parta hai?" Hashim ne samjhaya. "Lekin
mujhe hairat hai ke wo tumhare bare mein ab kya sochein gi... tumne unhein wo
kitabein de kar kya karna chaha. Unka khandan bhi bohot naraz hoga. Imama,
tumhein pata hona chahiye ke tumhein doosron ko apne bare mein ya apne
community ke bare mein sab kuch batane ki zaroorat nahi. Agar koi tumhein bahas
mein khinchta hai, to sirf tahzib se unki baat maan lo, warna wo zarurat se zyada aur
bekaar ke tabsera karenge aur humare bare mein bekar shak karenge," unhon ne
mashwara diya.

"Lekin, Baba, aap khud bhi to bohot logon ko taleem dete hain. Aap mujhe yeh kyun
rok rahe hain?" Imama ne hairani se poocha.

"Mera mamla alag hai—main sirf un logon se mazhab par baat karta hoon jinse meri
qareebi dosti hoti hai aur jab mujhe lagta hai ke wo meri baat sunne ke liye tayar
hain. Main kitabein banat kar sirf dostana taalluqaat walon ko nahi deta," unhon ne
wazahat ki.

"Baba, wo sirf dostana taalluqaat wale nahi hain—hum bohot saalon se dost hain,"
Imama ne etiraz kiya.

58
"Haan, lekin wo Syed hain aur unka khandan bohot orthodox hai. Tumhein ye yaad
rakhna chahiye tha."

"Maine sirf yeh batana chaha ke hamara firqa bhi Islam ka ek hissa hai taake wo na
samjhein ke hum ghair-Muslim hain," Imama ne kaha.

"Agar wo humein ghair-Muslim bhi samjhein, to kya farq parta hai? Wo khud ghair-
Muslim hain," Hashim ne bohot jazbati lehje mein kaha. "Wo gumraah hain, galat
raaste par hain."

"Baba, usne kaha ke aapko foreign missions se funds milte hain, ke wo aapko logon
ko hamare deen mein tabdeel karne ke liye paise dete hain."

Hashim Mubeen ne nafrat se sar hila diya. "Mujhe paisa sirf hamari community se
milta hai—wo paisa jo hamari community mulk aur bahar se jama karti hai. Humare
paas apni zaruratein poori karne ke liye kafi paisa hai... kya hamari apni factories nahi
hain? Agar foreign missions mujhe paisa dena chahtein hain to main khushi se
qubool karunga—ismein burai kya hai? Agar is mulk mein Christianity ka tabligh ho
sakta hai, to hamare deen ka kyun nahi? Aakhirkar, hum bhi to Islam ka ek aur firqa
hain jo logon ko asal hidayat ki raah par lana chahte hain," unhon ne tafseel se
samjhaya.

"Is mamle par doosron se baat mat karo," unhon ne aage kaha. "Bahas ya guftagu ka
koi faida nahi. Hum ab minority hain, lekin jab hum majority ban jayenge to aise log
hamare samne bolne ki jurrat nahi karenge—wo humein zaleel karne se darenge.
Tumhein abhi aise logon se nahi ulajhna chahiye."

"Baba, humein kyun ghair-Muslim aur minority qarar diya gaya jab hum Islam ka ek
firqa hain?"

"Yeh sab mullahon ka kaam hai—unhone apne maqasid ke liye hamare khilaf saazish
ki. Jab hamari tadaad barhegi, to hum bhi apne haq mein kanoon banayenge, aur
aise saare amendments ko radd karenge," Hashim ne pur zor lehje mein kaha. "Aur
tumhein aise apne aap ko band kar ke rone ki zaroorat nahi," unhon ne kaha aur uth
gaye. Imama ne unhe door jaate dekha.

Yeh Tehreem ke saath uski dosti ka aakhri din tha. Tehreem ke ilzaam ne Imama ko
itna dukh pahunchaya ke wo apni dosti ko jari rakhne ke qabil na rahi. Tehreem ne
bhi khamoshi todne ki koshish nahi ki.

59
Hashim Mubeen Ahmadi community ke mukarrar leaders mein se ek the. Unka bara
bhai Azam bhi ek ahm ahmadi leader tha. Ek do afrad ko chhod kar, unka pura
khandan kai saalon pehle Qadiani aqeedah ko qubool kar chuka tha jab Azam ne ye
mission shuru kiya tha; jin logon ne nahi kiya, unhon ne doosron se taalluq khatam
kar liya tha. Apne bhai ke qadmon par chal kar, Hashim ne bhi tabdeel laayi, aur
apne bhai ki tarah, wo bhi iske tabligh mein lage rahe.

Kareeb das ya pandrah saalon mein, dono bhaiyon ne apni community mein aik
naam kamaya. Wo Islamabad ke elite mein se the lekin apne dolat ke bawajood,
unke ghar bohot rawayati the. Unki auraton ne purdah karti thi lekin unpar koi na
jaiz pabandiyan nahi thi.

Imama bhi is mahaul mein bari hui thi. Asal mein, wo un mein se thi jo chandi ke
chamche ke saath paida hoti hain, aur jabke usay pata tha ke uske walid Ahmadi
deen ki tabligh mein masroof hain, usne isay aam baat samjha. Usne apne walid aur
uncle ko apne deen ka tabligh karte dekha tha aur uske liye yeh Islam ki khidmat thi.

Imama apne khandan ke saath muntazim taur par mazhabi ijtimaat mein shirkat karti
thi aur unke leaders ke lectures ko London se satellite ke zariye sunti thi.

Tehreem ke saath jhagda hone se pehle, usne kabhi apne deen par ghor nahi kiya
tha—uske liye, uska firqa Islam ke mukhtalif firqon mein se ek tha. Usay yeh talqeen
di gayi thi ke uski community hi asal raaste par hai aur sirf woh hi jannat mein dakhil
hogi. Boht jaldi Imama aur uske behan bhaiyon ko yeh samjhaya gaya tha ke school
mein apne deen ke bare mein kuch na batayen. School mein Imama ne yeh seekha
tha ke 1974 mein Constitution mein amendment ki gayi thi jisme unhein ghair-
Muslim aur minority community qarar diya gaya tha. Usne samjha tha ke yeh ek
siyasi faisla tha jo doosre mazhabi leaders ke dabbaw mein aakar kiya gaya. Magar
Tehreem ke saath behas ne Imama ko apni community aur apne deen ke bare mein
aur gehra sochne par majboor kar diya.
Isne usmein tabdeeli le aayi: usne apne deen ke adabi aur mazhabi kutub parhne ka
aaghaz kiya, saath hi doosri kitaabein bhi parhne lagi. Ibtida mein uske zehan mein
bohot uljhan thi, magar jab usne isko gehraai se samjha, to uske zehan mein saafiyan
aa gayin. Apne matric ke imtihan ke foran baad uski mangni Asjad se ho gayi, jo
uske uncle Azam ka beta tha. Yeh shadi mohabbat ki nahi thi, lekin Asjad aur Imama

60
is rishte se khush the aur mangni ke baad Imama ko Asjad ke liye ek narmi mehsoos
hone lagi.

"aap kuch dinon se kaafi pareshan lag raho hain—kya koi masla hai?" Waseem ne us
raat Imama se poocha. Imama kuch dinon se udaas aur khamosh thi.

"Nahi, kuch nahi. Yeh aapka weham hai," Imama ne muskurane ki koshish ki.

"Yeh mera weham nahi hai: kuch na kuch ghalat hai. Magar agar aap is par baat nahi
karna chahti, to phir alag baat hai," Waseem ne sar hilate hue kaha. Woh Imama ke
double bed par lete hue the jabke Imama dur bethi apni file mein notes dekh rahi
thi. Waseem ne jawab ka intezar kiya aur phir bola, "Main theek keh raha tha, na?
Aap is par baat nahi karna chahti."

"Haan. Main abhi is par baat nahi karna chahti," usne ah bhari.

"Mujhe batao—shayad main aapki madad kar sakoon," Waseem ne phir koshish ki.
"Waseem, main khud aapko bataongi lekin abhi nahi. Aur agar mujhe aapki madad ki
zaroorat hui, to main zaroor keh dungi," usne file band karte hue kaha.

"Theek hai, jaise aapki marzi. Main sirf aapki madad karna chahta tha," woh uthte
hue bola.

Waseem ne theek samjha tha: Imama un dinon se udaas aur khamosh thi jabse uska
Javeria ke saath jhagra hua tha. Halanki Javeria ne agle din us se maafi maang li thi,
lekin Imama ki pareshani aur dukh kam nahi hua tha—Javeria ke alfaz ne usko
pareshan kar diya tha. Yeh usko Tehreem ke saath ek saal pehle ke jhagre ki yaad
dilate the, aur woh shak aur sawaalat jo uske zehen mein us waqt uthe jab usne
apne mazhab ka tafseel se mutala kiya. Javeria ne kaha tha ke uski zindagi ki sabse
bari khwahish yeh hai ke Imama ek asal Musalman ban jaye.

Woh ek ajeeb se uljhan mein thi. "Kya main Musalman nahi hoon? Kya meri sabse
qareebi dost bhi mujhe Musalman nahi maanti? Kya yeh sab hamare mazhab ke
mutaliq propaganda ka nateeja hai? Kyun sirf hum hi nishana ban rahe hain—kya
hum waqai ghalat raste par hain? Kya humne ghalat mazhab apna liya hai?

Lekin yeh kaise ho sakta hai—akhir meri family aur hamara poora community aisa
kyun karega?"

61
Aur shayad in sawaalon ke jawab dhoondne ke liye, agle hafte usne aik mashhoor
Islami scholar ke tarjuma aur hawale ke saath Quran ka ek nuskha khareeda. Woh
jaan na chahti thi ke doosre firqe uske firqe aur uske aqeedah ke mutaliq kya raaye
rakhte hain. Usne pehle bhi Quran ka tarjuma parha tha, lekin woh jo uske
community ne recommend kiya tha. Usne yeh nahi maana tha ke jo nuskha woh parh
rahi thi usme kuch jagah badal di gayi thi, ke us firqe ka Quran ka tarjuma asal se
mukhtalif hai.

Ek ke baad ek, usne mukhtalif firqon ke scholars ke tarjume padhe—kisi mein bhi
woh tabdeeliyan nahi thi jo uske firqe ke nuskhe mein thi, halan ke tafsiron mein farq
zaroor tha. Jaise jaise usne mukhtalif tafsiron ka mutala kiya, uski pareshani aur
uljhan barh gayi. Har tarjuma aur tafseer yeh tasdeeq karta tha ke Hazrat
Muhammad (PBUH) Allah ke aakhri paighambar hain; kahi bhi doosre waris ya nabi
ka zikr nahi tha. Masih-e-Mauood ke bare mein haqeeqat bhi us par bilkul wazeh ho
gayi. Uske mazhabi rehnuma ke daaway aur asal waqiat ke darmiyan jo tanazur tha,
wo uske samne khul kar aa gaya.

Jis tarah unke rehnuma ne apni paighambari ka daawa karne se pehle Hazrat Isa (AS)
ke khilaf aib jo zuban istemal ki thi, usne usko hairan kar diya ke kya koi haqeeqi
paighambar aise alfaaz ka istemal kaise kar sakta hai?

Bohat hi subtle tareeqe se, Imama ka apne mazhab aur iske adab o kitabein mein
shauq aur aqeeda kam hota gaya. Uska sirf aqeeda hi nahi, balke usne inki sachai par
bhi shak karna shuru kar diya. Usne Javeria ko nahi bataya ke woh apne firqe ke
adab se door ho chuki thi aur doosri kitaabein parhna shuru kar di thi. Ghar mein bhi
kisi ko nahi pata tha ke woh kaise kitaabein ghar le aati thi; usne unhe apne kamre
mein bohot achi tarah se chhupa rakha tha.

Ek martaba aisa hua ke Waseem uske kamre mein aaya, koi kitaab dhundte hue aur
pehli kitaab jo uske haath lagi, woh us Quran ka tarjuma tha jo woh parh rahi thi—
woh hairan reh gaya. "Yeh kya hai, Imama?" Usne hairani se uski taraf dekha. Imama
ka dil ruk gaya jab usne uski taraf dekha.

"Yeh... yeh... yeh Quran ka tarjuma hai," usne apni awaz mein larzah ko rokne ki
koshish karte hue jawab diya.

"Mujhe pata hai, lekin yeh yahan kya kar raha hai? Kya tumne yeh kharida hai?" Usne
sanjeedgi se poocha.

62
"Haan, maine yeh kharida, lekin tum itne pareshan kyun ho rahe ho?"

"Kya tumhe pata hai ke Baba kitne ghusse mein aayenge agar unhe pata chal gaya?"

"Haan, mujhe pata hai, lekin mujhe yeh koi itni aitraaz wali baat nahi lagti."

"Tumhe yeh lene ki zarurat kyun mehsoos hui?" Waseem ne usse wapas table par
rakh diya.

"Kyunki main yeh jaan na chahti hoon ke doosre log Quran ko kaise samajhte hain
aur Quran ki roshni mein hamare bare mein kya raaye rakhte hain," Imama ne soch
samajh kar jawab diya. Waseem ne uski taraf ghoor kar dekha.

"Kya tum apne hosh mein ho?"

"Main bilkul hosh mein hoon," usne pur-sukoon hokar kaha. "Mujhe doosre firqon ke
bare mein jaan ne aur unka Quran ka tarjuma parhne mein kya nuqsan hai?"

"Humein aise cheezon ki koi zarurat nahi hai," Waseem ne ghusse se jawab diya.

"Tumhe zarurat nahi hai, lekin mujhe hai," Imama ne tez jawab diya. "Main andhi
taqleed karne ke haqq mein nahi hoon," usne wazeh kiya.

"Toh kya in tarjumaon ko parh kar tumhare shak door ho gaye?" Waseem ne
tanzeeha poocha.

Imama ne uski taraf dekha. "Shuru mein mujhe apne aqeede par koi shak nahi tha—
ab hai."

Waseem phat pada. "Dekho—yeh un kitaabon ko parhne ka nateeja hai! Isi liye main
keh raha hoon ke yeh kitaabein parhne ki koi zarurat nahi hai; hamari kitaabein
hamare liye kafi hain."

"Maine Quran ke bohot saare tarjuma aur tafsiren parhi hain, Waseem. Yeh bohot
ajeeb baat hai ke kisi mein bhi hamare firqe ka zikr nahi hai! Har ek mein 'Ahmed' ka
zikr Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) ke hawale se hai aur kahin bhi hamare nabi ke
hawale se nahi. Aur agar hamare firqe ya hamare nabi ka zikr hai, to woh ek jhoota
dawa-e-nabuwat ke tor par hai." Imama ki uljhan uski awaz mein saaf zahir thi.

"Humare bare mein aise baatein aur kaun karega? Agar woh hamare nabi ko maan
lete to masla hal ho jata, lekin woh kabhi bhi apni kitaabon mein hamare bare mein
sach nahi likhenge," Waseem ne nirash hoke kaha.

63
"Aur hamare tarjuma aur tafseer mein kya humne sach likha hai?" Imama ne poocha.

"Iska kya matlab?" Waseem hairan reh gaya.

"Hamara nabi doosre anbiya ke liye ghalat istilah aur ghaleez zuban kyun istemal
karta hai?"

"Woh apne context mein baat karte hain—unhone unhe nabi nahi mana," Waseem
ne jawab diya.

"Toh kya unhe nabi na manane par bura bhala kehna chahiye?" Imama ne poocha.

"Haan," Waseem ne kandhe uchka diye. "Gussa kisi na kisi tarah se izhaar hota hai."

"Gussa ya bebasi?" Imama ne poocha. Waseem uski taraf hairat se dekhta raha.

"Jab logon ne Hazrat Isa ko nabi nahi mana, to unhone unhe bura bhala nahi kaha.
Jab Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) ko nabi nahi mana gaya, to unhone kufar karne
walon ko bura bhala nahi kaha—balki unhone un logon ke liye dua ki jo unhein
pathar maarte the. Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) ko jo Elahi paighaam mila usmein
ghaleez zuban ka istemal nahi tha, lekin hamare nabi ke dawa ki gayi wahi mein aise
alfaaz bhare pade hain."

"Waseem, har shakhs ka apna mizaj hota hai aur har koi mukhtalif tareeqe se react
karta hai," Waseem ne tez awaz mein jawab diya. Imama ne sar hilaya—woh
mutma'in nahi thi.

"Main har shakhs ki baat nahi kar rahi hoon—main nabi ki baat kar rahi hoon. Jo
shakhs apne gusse par qaboo nahi rakh sakta, woh kaise Elahi nabi hone ka dawa kar
sakta hai? Tum kaise umeed kar sakte ho ke jo itna bura bhala kehta hai, woh sach
aur raste ki baatein karega? Waseem, main hamare mazhab aur iske usoolon ke bare
mein pareshan hoon!" Usne ruk kar dobara bola.

"Sab tarjuma aur tafaseer parhne ke baad, mujhe yeh samajh aya ke unki qaum ka
sirf ek hi nabi tha—Hazrat Isa. Aur main yeh nahi maanta ke hamara nabi Hazrat Isa
hai ya Masih-e-Mauood. Nahi…woh woh shakhs nahi hai jo Quran mein paishgoyi ki
gayi hai," usne phir se dohraya.

"Behtar hoga ke tum apni bakwas band karo—tum bahut keh chuki ho," Waseem ne
us par chilate hue kaha.

64
"Bakwas? Tumhe lagta hai ke main bakwas kar rahi hoon?" Imama ne hairani se uski
taraf dekha. "Agar hamare shehar mein ek Masjid-e-Aqsa hai, to phir Palestine mein
doosri Masjid-e-Aqsa kya hai? Kya Allah chahta hai ke Musalmanon ko confuse
karein ke ek hi muqaddas masjid do alag alag jagahon par ho? Aur Musalmanon ko
chhodo, Christians aur Jews bhi to mante hain ke yeh masjid pehla qibla tha. Kya yeh
ajeeb nahi lagta ke hum is baat ko na maanein?"

"Imama, main tumse in mamlaat par behas nahi kar sakta. Behtar hoga ke tum yeh
baatein Baba se discuss karo," Waseem thak gaya tha. "Tumhe pata hai, tum yeh
bekaar ki behas mein pad kar theek nahi kar rahi ho. Main Baba ko sab bata dunga
jo tum keh rahi ho aur jo tum parh rahi ho," usne dhamki di aur kamre se chala
gaya.

Imama pareshan thi—woh apne kamre mein idhar udhar chalne lagi, apne hont kaat
rahi thi. Usse apne walid se dar lagta tha aur uske reakshon se bhi, jab Waseem unhe
uske bare mein sab kuch bata dega—aur usse pata tha ke woh zaroor bata dega.

Waseem ne Hashim Mubeen ko apni Imama ke saath guftagu ke baare mein bataya
lekin woh kuch baatein chhup gaya jo uske walid ko ghussa dilane wali thi. Phir bhi,
Hashim Mubeen harkat mein aakar khamosh hogaye.

"Toh Imama ne yeh sab tumhein bataya?" usne lambi khamoshi ke baad poocha.
Waseem ne haan mein sar hilaaya.

"Usay bulao." Waseem ne kuch dair socha, lekin phir khud jaane ke bajaaye ek
naukar ko bhej diya aur apne kamre mein chala gaya. Woh nahi chahta tha ke uske
walid Imama se sawal jawab karein aur woh wahan ho.

Imama ne apne walid ke kamre ka darwaza khatkhataya aur andar aayi. Uske walid
aur maa wahan bilkul khamosh baithe the. Uske walid ne usay aise dekha ke uske
paon tale zameen nikal gayi.

"Baba, aap ne...mujhe bulaya?" usne koshish ke bawajood apni awaz mein larzish
mehsoos ki.

"Haan, bulaya hai. Yeh kya bakwas tum Waseem se kar rahi thi?" usne gusse mein
seedha poocha. "Maine tumhein kya kaha tha?" woh phir se cheekha. "Tumhein
sharam se doob marna chahiye! Tum gunah kar rahi ho aur humein bhi apne saath
ghaseet rahi ho!" Imama ki ankhon mein aansoo bhar aaye.

65
"Humein tumhein apni aulaad kehne mein sharam aati hai!" woh ghusse se lal peela
hogaya. "Yeh kitaabein kya hain jo tum yahan le kar aayi ho? Tum unhein kal wapas
karo jahan se aayi hain—warna main unhein phenk doonga!"

"Ji, Baba," Imama ne aansoo ponchte hue jawab diya.

"Aur agar tumne phir se Javeria se mulaqat ki ya baat ki, toh main tumhara college
jaana band karwa doonga."

"Baba, Javeria ne mujhe kuch nahi kaha. Usay is baare mein kuch bhi nahi pata."
Imama ne mazbooti se jawab diya.

"Toh phir kisne tumhare zehen mein yeh kachra bhara hai?" woh cheekha.

"Maine...khud hi...socha..." Imama ne koshish ki samjhane ki.

"Apne aap ko kya samajhti ho? Apni umr dekho aur tum apne deen aur apne nabi ki
sachai ko challenge kar rahi ho!" uska gussa phir se bhadak utha. "Mujhe dekho.
Maine apni zindagi unke deen ka farog dene mein guzaari hai—kya main andha tha
ya tum zyada aqalmand ho? Tumhe kuch bhi nahi pata aur tum hamare imaan ko
challenge kar rahi ho." Hashim Mubeen apni jagah se uth khada hua. "Tum chandi ka
chamcha muh mein lekar paida hui thi us nabi ke wajah se jinki azmat ko tum aaj
nakar rahi ho. Agar woh na hote toh hamara khandan aaj sadak pe hota; lekin tum
ehsan faramosh ho aur apni taraqqi ke asal zariya ko nakar rahi ho." Hashim Mubeen
ki awaz bhari hogayi aur Imama ke aansoo tez behne lage.

"Koi taleem nahi tumhare liye! Yeh sab parhai tumhe gumrah kar rahi hai!" uske
alfaaz ne Imama ko jhaanjhor ke rakh diya.

"Baba, mujhe maaf kardo!" usne iltija ki. Uske walid ne usay jhukne par majboor kar
diya.

"Mujhe tumhari maafi ya bahaane nahi chahiye. Maine apna faisla suna diya hai—
tum ab ghar pe hi raho gi."

"Baba, yeh...mera matlab nahi tha. Mujhe nahi pata ke Waseem ne aapko kya bataya
hai. Main aapko keh rahi hoon ke ainda main woh nahi parhoongi jo aap nahi
chahte. Main kuch nahi kahoongi jo aap ko pasand nahi. Baba, please!" Woh ro rahi
thi, apne walid se darkhwast kar rahi thi.

66
Uski iltijayen aur maafi ke alfaaz agle kuch din chalte rahe. Aakhir mein, haftay ke
aakhir tak, uske walid ka dil naram hogaya aur usne imaan ko wapas college jaane ki
ijazat de di. Magar un dinon mein, uske ghar walon ke taane aur tanqeed uske liye
bardasht karna mushkil tha.

Hashim Mubeen ne, sakht hidayaat ke saath, usay wapas college jaane ki ijazat di,
lekin uske ghar walon ke rawaiye ne usay apne deen se aur door kar diya. Usne woh
kitaabein parhna nahi chhoda jo usay soch mein dala rahi thi: farq sirf itna tha ke ab
woh unhein ghar laane ke bajaye college library mein parhti thi. F.Sc. ke imtehaan
mein merit list mein aane ke baad, Imama ka medical college mein dakhla hogaya.
Javeria ka bhi usi idare mein dakhla hogaya aur ab unki dosti aur mazboot hogayi
thi—iski badi wajah Imama mein aane wala tabadul tha.

---------------------------

Imama ki pehli mulaqat Sabiha se ek ittefaq thi. Javeria ki ek classmate, Sabiha ki

cousin thi, aur usi ke zariye Imama ka Sabiha se ta'aruf hua. Sabiha ek deeni tanzeem
ki student wing se taluq rakhti thi aur har hafta class mein Islam ke kisi pehlu par
lecture deti thi. Yeh lectures 40-50 larkiyan sunti thi. Jab Imama aur uski doston ka
pehli baar Sabiha se ta'aruf hua, to usne sab ko lecture mein shirkat ki dawat di.

"Main zaroor aungi—tum meri attendance ki tasalli kar sakti ho," Javeria ne jawab
diya. "Main koshish karungi, lekin wada nahi kar sakti," Rabia ne muskurate hue kaha.
"Main nahi aa sakungi. Us din main masroof rahungi," Zainab ne apna bahana bana
liya.

Sabiha muskurate hue Imama ki taraf ruki, jo chup chap sun rahi thi. "Aur tum? Tum
aaogi?" usne Imama se poocha. Ghabrahat mein, Imama ne Javeria ki taraf dekha jo
usay dekh rahi thi.

"By the way, tumhara is martaba kya topic hai?" Javeria ne poocha—shayad Sabiha
ka dhyan Imama se hataane ke liye. "Is martaba hum paison ke zaya karne ke trend
par baat karenge. Yeh rujhan hamare muashre ko zawaal ki taraf le ja raha hai—hum
baat karenge ke isay kaise roka ja sakta hai," Sabiha ne wazahat ki.

"Imama, tumne nahi bataya ke tum lecture mein aogi?" Sabiha ne phir se uski taraf
dekha. Imama rang peela pad gaya. "Main tumhein bata dungi," usne haklaya.

67
"Mujhe bohot khushi hogi agar tum teeno Javeria ke saath lecture mein ao. Hum roz
nahi kar sakte, lekin kabhi kabhi apne deen ke baare mein seekhna chahiye. Main
akeli nahi jo deen par baat karti hoon. Shuraka mein se koi bhi muntakhib mawad
par bol sakta hai, aur agar koi khaas masla ho to us par bhi guftagu ho sakti hai,"
Sabiha ne samjhaya aur phir Javeria aur uski cousin ke saath chali gayi.

Jab woh corridor mein thi, to usne Javeria se kaha, "Mujhe laga Imama aana chahti
hai: kyun nahi tum usay le aati?"

"Woh aik mukhtalif aqeede ki paero hai. Woh kabhi bhi aisi mehfilon mein hissa nahi
legi," Javeria ne bohot sanjeedgi se kaha.

Sabiha ne heran hokar usay dekha. "Toh tumhein usay Islam parhna ki dawat deni
chahiye. Shayad is tarah se woh sach aur jhoot mein farq kar sake," Sabiha ne kaha.

"Maine ek martaba koshish ki thi—toh woh bohot naraz hui. Main nahi chahti ke is
wajah se hamari purani dosti khatam ho jaye," Javeria ne jawab diya.

"Sache dost wohi hain jo doosre ko gumrahi se bachate hain: yeh tumhara farz hai
ke tum aisa karo."

"Haan, lekin agar koi sunne ke liye tayyar na ho to?"

"Phir bhi, yeh hamara ikhlaqi farz hai ke hum sach kahen. Ho sakta hai ke woh aakhir
mein tumhare kehne par sochne par majboor ho jaye," Sabiha ne jawab diya.

Javeria ne muskurate hue tasleem kiya ke Sabiha apne mawaqif mein sahi thi.

--------------------------------

"Jab Sabiha door chali gayi, toh Zainab ne Rabia se poocha, 'Kya tum uska lecture
sunne jaogi?'

"Nahi, mera irada nahi hai. Main aise topics hazam nahi kar sakti," Rabia ne casually
jawab diya, apni kitaabein ikathi karte hue. Uska sochne ka andaaz Imama, Javeria
aur Zainab se zyada liberal tha aur woh deen mein khaas dilchaspi nahi rakhti thi.

"Maine Sabiha ke baare mein bohot tareef suni hai," Zainab ne jawab diya.

"Bilkul—Sabiha waqayi achi bolti hai," Rabia ne kaha. "Suna hai uske walid bhi kisi
deeni tanzeem se wabasta hain—zaroor uska kuch asar hoga," Rabia ne izafa kiya.

68
Imama kuch faaslay par baithi apni kitaabein dekh rahi thi lekin usay yeh guftagu
sunai de rahi thi. Usay shukar tha ke unhone usay is guftagu mein ghaseetne ki
koshish nahi ki.

Teen din baad, Imama ne ek bahaana banaya aur muqarrar waqt par Sabiha ka
lecture sunne chali gayi. Zainab, Rabia aur Javeria ne lecture se door rehne ka faisla
kiya tha, isliye Imama ne apna irada badal diya aur chali gayi lekin unhe nahi bataya
ke woh kahan ja rahi hai.

Sabiha kuch heran hui Imama ko dekh kar. "Mujhe bohot khushi hui tumhein yahan
dekh kar. Mujhe umeed nahi thi ke tum aaogi," usne Imama ka garam joshi se khush
aamdeed karte hue kaha.

Yeh Imama ka pehla qadam tha apne aqeede ko tabdeel karne ki taraf. Is dauran
usne Islam ke baare mein itna kuch parh liya tha ke kam az kam woh jahil nahi thi.
Usne Islam aur Quran ke hukoomat ke baare mein bhi achi tarah se jaan liya tha jo
maal zaya karne aur asraf se bachne par the. Lekin uska asal wajah Sabiha ki dawat
qabool karne ka yeh tha ke woh apne mazhab se Islam ki taraf ka safar karna chahti
thi—aik mushkil kaam.

Aur yeh pehla aur aakhri lecture nahi tha jo usne suna. Har hafta, woh lecture sunti
rahi; doosron se wohi baatein sun kar jo usne parhi thi, us par asar hua. Waqt ke
sath Sabiha ke liye uska aitraaf aur yaqeen barhta gaya. Sabiha ne kabhi Imama ko
yeh nahi bataya ke usay Imama ke aqeede ka pata tha. Do maheenay guzre jab usne
Sabiha se mulaqat karna shuru kiya aur ek lecture tha Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) ki
khatm-e-nabuwwat par.

"Quran e Paak ek kitaab hai jo Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) par nazil hui," Sabiha ne
shuru kiya, "aur Quran mein Allah ta'ala farmata hai ke nabuwat Hazrat Muhammad
(PBUH) par khatam ho gayi. Yahan koi gunjaish nahi hai ke koi aur nabi aaye. Agar
Hazrat Isa (AS) ka zikar hai ke woh wapas ayenge, toh woh ek naye nabi ke tor par
nahi; balke Allah ki marzi se pehle se mukarrar nabi apni qaum ke liye nahi, balke
Hamare Nabi (PBUH) ke ummatiyon ke liye wapas aayenge, jo Allah ke aakhri nabi
hain. Kisi waqt mein na pehle na baad mein kisi aur ko ye khatm-e-nabuwwat ka
darja diya gaya, sirf Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) ko. Toh kya mumkin hai ke Allah jo
ek nabi ko diya usay wapas le kar kisi aur ko de de?"

69
Quran e Paak mein Allah poochta hai ke kaun apne kalam mein Allah se sachha hai.
Kya yeh mumkin hai ke woh apne hi alfaz ko rad kar de? Aur agar Hazrat
Muhammad (PBUH) khud gawahi dete hain ke woh Allah ke aakhri aur akhri rasool
hain, toh kya yeh munasib aur jayaz hai ke hum kisi aur ke paighambari ke daawon
ko manzoor karen?

Insaan Allah ki makhlooqaat mein se wahid hai jise sochne samajhne ki salahiat di
gayi hai aur woh is aqal ko Allah ke wajood ke saboot ke talash mein istemal kar
sakta hai. Woh yahin nahi rukta—uski soch Allah ke paighambaron tak jaati hai; woh
unke paigham ko talash karta hai aur unke paigham par yaqeen karne se pehle usay
jaanchta hai. Quran ke hukoomat ke bawajood, insaan mazeed paighambaron ko
talash karta hai, bhool jaata hai ke paighambar insaan ke banaye hue nahi balki Allah
ke mukarrar kiye hue hote hain.

Aaj hum insani taraqqi ke aakhri marahil mein hain jab paighambari ka silsila ruk
gaya hai kyun ke Allah ne insaniyat ke liye ek deen aur ek paighambar ka intikhab
kar liya hai.

"Kisi naye deen ki zarurat nahi, sirf usay maana aur amal karna hai jo pehle se bheja
gaya hai, aur na sirf maana balki is aakhri aur mukammal deen par amal karna hai jo
Hazrat Muhammad Mustafa (PBUH) par mukammal hua. Jo Allah ke rishte ko
mazbooti se nahi thaamte aur iske bajaye tafreeq phailaate hain, woh nuqsan mein
rahenge. Phir hum mein aur us jaanwar mein kya farq rahega jo apne rewar se alag
hokar ghas ki gathri ke peeche bhaagta hai?"

Is chalis minute ke lecture mein, Sabiha ne kisi aur firqa ya aqeede ka zikar nahi kiya.
Usne jo kuch kaha woh mozoon tha: sirf ek baat jo mukammal nabuwat ke baare
mein thi, woh Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) ke akhri paighambar hone par thi jo 1400
saal pehle Madina mein wafat pa gaye. Apni zindagi mein aur uske baad se, tamaam
musalmaan unke saaye mein ek ummat ke tor par khade hain, aur aaj bhi, sirf wohi
hamare paighambar aur rehnuma hain. Na koi paighambar unke baad aaya hai aur
na aayega, aur jo log iske ilawa maante hain unhein apne aqeede par ghor karna
chahiye aur apne zehan aur dil ko us fitne se saaf karna chahiye jismein woh ghire
hue hain."

Imama har lecture ke baad Sabiha se milti thi, lekin is martaba woh bina mile chaldi
gayi. Uske zehan mein uljhan thi aur woh college se nikal kar chalne lagi; woh der

70
tak chalte rahi—footpaths par, sarkon ke paar, lagataar, bina yeh mehsoos kiye ke
woh kitni door aa gayi hai.

Woh ek canal ke kinare ek bench par baith gayi. Suraj doobne wala tha. Bahar sark
par traffic ka shor tha. Woh bas khamosh baithi, paani ko behte hue dekh rahi thi.
Kaafi der ki khamoshi ke baad, usne apne aap se bola.

"Main apne aap ke saath kya kar rahi hoon? Main gol gol kyun ghoom rahi hoon?
Main kya talash kar rahi hoon aur kyun? Main Lahore yeh sab karne ke liye nahi aayi
thi—main yahan dawaat parhne aayi thi, duniya ki behtareen aankhon ki doctor
banne ke liye. Sab kuch kyun 'paighambar' ke lafz par aakar khatam ho jata hai mere
liye? Kyun?"

Usne apne haath mein apna chehra chhupa liya.

"Mujhe is se nikalna hoga—main apni parhai par dhyan nahi de pa rahi hoon is
tarah. Mera masla deen aur aqeeda nahi hona chahiye—jo kuch mere buzurgon ne
dia, sahi ya ghalat, woh kafi hona chahiye. Main dobara Sabiha ke lectures mein nahi
jaungi, na hi kisi deen ya paighambaron ke baare mein sochungi," usne socha jab
woh wahan baithi thi.

Raat 8 baje jab woh wapas aayi, toh Rabia aur Javeria bohot fikar mand thi.

"Maine bas bazaar jana tha," Imama ne unhein safaqi se jawab diya.

"Hey, Imama! Tum itne arsay baad aayi ho. Tum ne ana kyun band kar diya tha?"
Sabiha ke lecture shuru hone wala tha aur Imama ne kaafi arsay se Sabiha se
mulaqat nahi ki thi.

'Mujhe tumse kuch baat karni hai. Mein yahan intezar karungi jab tak tum free nahi
ho jati,' Imama ne jawab denay ke bajaye kaha.

45 minute baad jab Sabiha room se bahar ayi, tou usne Imama ko corridor mein
ghoomte hue dekha. Woh dono wapas room mein chale gaye jo ab khali tha.

Sabiha ne Imama ki taraf dekha, intezar karte hue ke woh baat shuru kare. Imama
kuch dair ke liye sochti rahi; phir usne kaha, 'Kya tum mere mazhab se waqif ho?'

'Haan, mujhe maloom hai. Javeria ne mujhe bataya tha,' Sabiha ne pur-sukoon lehje
mein jawab diya.

71
'Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha ke mein kitni pareshan hoon... Mujhe lagta hai mein is
duniya se bhagna chahti hoon! Mein... mein...' Usne apna sar pakra. 'Mujhe pata hai
ke...' Phir se woh ruki. 'Lekin mein apna mazhab nahi chor sakti. Mein tabah ho
jaungi—mere walidain mujhe maar dalenge. Mera career, mere khwab, sab kuch
barbad ho jayega. Mein ne namaz parhna bhi chor diya hai, lekin mujhe sukoon nahi
mil raha. Tum meri surat-e-haal samajh kar dekho—mujhe yeh sab ghalat lagta hai,
lekin mujhe samajh nahi aata ke kya sahi hai.'

'Imama, haqiqi Islam qabool karo,' Sabiha ka jawab sirf yeh aik jumla tha.

'Mein yeh nahi kar sakti—mein ne tumhe apni pareshaniyan batayi thi!'

'Phir tum mere paas kyun ayi?' Sabiha bohot pur-sukoon thi.

'Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha ke mein kyun tumhare paas ayi hoon,' usne be-basi se
kaha.

'Tum is liye ayi ho ke tumhe bas yeh aik jumla sunna tha. Mein tumhe koi daleel nahi
de sakti. Tum jawab dhoondhne nahi ayi kyun ke tumhe jawab pata hain. Tumhe bas
sach ko qabool karna hai—kya yeh sach nahi?' Imama ki ankhon mein aansu bhar
aaye.

'Mujhe aisa lagta hai ke zameen mere paon ke neeche se nikal rahi hai—jaise mein
hawa mein latak rahi hoon.' Uska awaaz bhari hui thi.

Sabiha ne jawab nahi diya: woh 'Bismillah' parh rahi thi. Imama ne apne haath se
apni aankhein ponchi. 'Kuch nahi hai, Sabiha! Mujhe kuch nazar nahi aa raha,' usne
uski taraf dekhtay hue kaha.

'La Ilaha illallah' Sabiha ne kalima dhelay lehje mein parhna shuru kiya. Imama ne
aansu bahate hue Sabiha ke baad kalima dohraya.

'Muhammad ur Rasool Allah,' usne aglay lafz kahta, uski awaaz tootne ke kareeb thi.

Imama samajh nahi pa rahi thi ke woh itni ro kyun rahi hai—usne koi pachtawa nahi
tha, woh udas nahi thi, phir bhi apne aansu nahi rok pa rahi thi. Jab kaafi dair baad
usne rona band kiya, tou usne Sabiha ko wahan baithe dekha—aur uski taraf
aansuon bhari muskurahat ke sath dekha.

----------------------------------------------------

72
Rabia aur Javeria aik dosray ki taraf shocked khamoshi mein dekhti rahi. Imama apne
paon se farsh par naqsh banati rahi, khayalon mein gum. Javeria ne khamoshi torhi.
'Tumhe pehle humein sab kuch batana chahiye tha.'

Imama ne sukoon se uski taraf dekha. 'Aur us se kya hota?' 'Kam az kam humein
tumhare bare mein aise gumaan na hote. Hum tumhari madad kar sakte the.' Imama
ne sir hila kar ajeeb lehje mein jawab diya, 'Us se koi farq nahi padta.'

Javeria uske qareeb aayi aur narmi se boli, 'Mujhe bohot khushi hai ke tumne sahi
faisla kiya, Imama, ke tumne ghalat raaste se wapas murh gayi ho—der aye durust
aye. Tumhein andaza nahi ke mujhe is baat se kitni khushi hui hai.' Imama ne chup
chap uski taraf dekha. Javeria ne baat jari rakhi, 'Agar hum dono tumhare liye kuch
kar sakte hain, tou bina jhijhak humein batana: humein bohot khushi hogi.'

'Mujhe tumhari madad ki zarurat hogi—bohot ziada,' Imama ne jawab diya.

'Kya meri wajah se tumne yeh faisla liya aur apna mazhab badla?' Javeria pooch rahi
thi. Imama ne uski taraf hairan hokar dekha. 'Tumhari wajah se?' usne socha. Uska
zehan dhundhla gaya aur us dhundh se ek chehra nikalne laga jaise pani se koi ubar
raha ho. Imama muskurai jab usne chehre ko pehchana aur awaaz suni.

"Jo ek qatra mangta hai, tum use samundar bakhshtay ho."

'Bas kisi aur ko is baare mein mat batana. Zainab ko bhi nahi.' Javeria aur Rabia ne
sar hila kar razamandi di.

"Poore qad se jo khara hoon to ye tera hai karam, Mujh ko jhukne nahi deta sahara
tera."

Usne is awaaz ko pehchana, usne is chehre ko pehchana. Ye Jalal Ansar tha.

---------------------------------------------

Kuch din baad jab Imama ne medical college join kar liya tha, usne Zainab ko Lahore
mein call ki jab wo weekend par Islamabad apne ghar aayi thi.

‘Ruko beta, main Zainab ko bulati hoon.’ Uski maa ne call receive ki thi. Jab tak
Imama intezar kar rahi thi, usne ek jani-pehchani nazm sunni jo Prophet (pbuh) ki
tareef mein thi, ek mardana awaaz mein—jo koi bhi tha, uski pareshani mein ek
junoon tha.

73
"Qatra mange jo use too use darya de day
Mujh ko kuch aur na de apni tamanna de day"

Usse bilkul andaza nahi tha ke ek mard ki awaaz itni khoobsurat ho sakti hai ke woh
sab par jadoo kar de. Imama hairan khadi thi, jaise usne saans lena bhool gaya ho.

"Log kehte hain ke saya tere paikar ka na tha Me to kehta hoon jahan bhar pe hai
saya tera."

Insani zindagiyon mein kuch lamhe mubarak hote hain, jaise Shab-e-Qadr ki raat jo
kuch log beparwai se kho dete hain. Magar kuch sabr se intezar karte hain, haath
uthaye dua karte hain, Allah ki barkat ke talib hote hain.

Yeh woh intezar ka lamha hota hai jo behtay paani ko thamsa deta hai aur thame
paani ko rawan kar deta hai, jo be-kahi dua ko taqdeer mein badal deta hai. Yeh
mubarak lamha Imama Hashim ki zindagi mein Shab-e-Qadr ko nahi aaya tha aur na
hi usne haath uthaye the aasman ki taraf dua ke liye, phir bhi zameen aur sitare apni
jaga ruk gaye—kainaat aik gumbad thi jahan sirf ek awaaz goonj rahi thi.

"Dastgiri meri tanhai ki too ne hi to ki

Me to mar jata agar sath na hota tera
Wo andheron me bhi durrana guzar jate hain
Jin ke maathe pe chamkta hai sitara tera"

Awaaz mazboot aur saaf thi. Imama mohit si baithi thi, receiver apne kaan se lagaye
hue. 'Hello Imama!' Ye Zainab thi. Mard ki awaaz gayab ho gayi aur ruk gayi zameen
phir se ghoomne lagi. 'Hello, Imama, kya tum mujhe sun sakti ho?' Woh achanak
zindagi mein wapas aayi.

'Haan, sun sakti hoon...'

'Ye theek hai: mujhe laga line kat gayi thi,' Zainab ne kuch sukoon se kaha.

Imama ne kuch dair usse baat ki lekin uska zehan kahin aur hi masroof tha.

..............................

Jalal Ansar Zainab ka bara bhai tha. Imama uske bare mein jaanti thi magar kabhi
mulaqat nahi hui thi. Zainab aur Imama class fellows thi aur pehli baar tab mili jab
Imama ne college join kiya. Unka taluq barhne laga aur is tarah Imama ko uske ghar
walon ka pata chala, ke wo chaar behan bhai hain aur Jalal sab se bara hai; wo

74
doctor banne ke baad house job kar raha tha. Zainab ke walid WAPDA mein
engineer thay aur unka khandan kaafi deeni tha.

Islamabad se waapsi par, Imama ne kaha, "Zainab, us raat jab main ne phone kiya
tha, to peechay koi naat parh raha tha. Kaun tha wo?" Usne zyada tajjub dikhane ki
koshish nahi ki.

"Oh, wo... wo Jalal Bhai thay. Wo naat competition ke liye practice kar rahe thay.
Hamara phone corridor mein hai aur unka kamra khula tha is liye tumne sun liya
hoga," usne samjhaya.

"Uski awaaz bohot achi hai."

"Haan, uski Quraan ki tilawat naat se bhi behtar hai. Usne kayi inaam jeetay hain
tilawat ke liye. Wo college ke competition mein hissa le raha hai—tumhe aana
chahiye."

Zainab ko tab Imama ke deeni rujhanat ka pata nahi tha. Wo parde ka bohot khayal
rakhti thi isliye Zainab ne socha Imama bhi uski tarah conservative khandan se hai.
Do teen din baad, apne doston ko bina bataye Imama ne classes bunk ki taake naat
competition attend kar sake. Yahin pe usne pehli baar Jalal Ansar ko dekha. Wo ek
25 saal ka nojawaan tha, daari wala aur Zainab se milta julta tha. Imama ki nazar
uska peecha karti rahi jab wo apni seat se uth kar stage par gaya aur rostrum par
apni jagah li. Aankhein band aur haath seene par bandhe, usne parhna shuru kiya:

Kuch nahi mangta shahon se ye sheda tera

Is ki dolat hai faqat naqsh-e-qaf-e-paa tera

Ek karant si Imama ke andar se guzar gayi. Hall mein pin drop silence tha jahan sirf
uski awaaz goonj rahi thi, jaise jadoo kar rahi ho. Usne nahi dekha kab wo khatam
karke stage se utra, kaun next aya, competition ka kya nateeja tha ya kab aakhri
student hall se nikal gaya. Bahut der baad uski hosh waapas ayi.

Usay achanak ehsaas hua ke woh wahaan akeli bethi thi. "Kal mainay tumhare bhai
ko naat parhtay suna," usnay Zainab ko bataya. "Sach? Usnay pehla inaam jeet liya."
Zainab muskurai.

Chand lamho ke baad, Imama ne jawab diya, "Woh bohot khoobsurat naat thi."
"Woh bachpan se Quran aur naats parhta aa raha hai aur inaamaat jeet raha hai. Ab
to usay ginati bhi yaad nahi," Zainab ne fakhar se kaha. "Uski awaaz ki khoobsurati

75
uske imaan ki gehrai aur junoon mein hai jis ke saath woh parhta hai," usne aage
kaha. "Woh Rasool Allah (pbuh) se bepanah mohabbat karta hai. Usne kabhi Quran
aur naats ke siwa kuch nahi parha. Jab bhi usay doosray events mein shirkat karne ko
kaha jata hai, woh kehta hai ke jo zabaan Allah aur uske Rasool ki khidmat karti hai
woh kisi aur ki tareef nahi kar sakti.

"Ham bhi Rasool Allah (pbuh) se mohabbat karte hain, lekin maine apne bhai jaisa
junoon kisi mein nahi dekha. Usne pichlay das saal mein ek bhi namaz nahi chhodi
aur har mahine Quran mukammal parhta hai. Tumhe uski Qirat sunni chahiye..."
Zainab ne apne bhai ki tareef ki. Imama khamoshi se sun rahi thi magar aur koi sawal
nahi kiya.

Agli subah, Imama bas bistar mein lipti hui padi rahi bajaye iske ke class ke liye tayar
hoti. "Tumhari class nahi hai? Der ho rahi hai," Javeria ne usay jagane ki koshish ki.

"Tum chali jao—main nahi ja rahi," Imama ne kaha, aankhein band karte hue.

"Kyoon?" "Tabiyat theek nahi," Imama ne jawab diya. "Tumhari aankhein lal ho rahi
hain—bohot zyada. Kya tum kal raat theek se nahi soyi?" "Nahi... aur ab, please
mujhe sone do." Imama ne aur sawaalon se bachne ke liye kaha aur Javeria class ke
liye nikal gayi.

Imama waqai theek se nahi soyi thi. Jalal Ansar ki awaaz uske aas paas goonjti rahi
aur woh kisi aur cheez par dhyaan nahi de sakti thi. Uska naam apne honton par bar
bar repeat karti rahi, sochti rahi ke aakhir usay kya cheez uski taraf kheench rahi thi,
kyoon woh usay apne zehan se nikal nahi pa rahi thi. Imama ko Zainab ke alfaaz
yaad aaye jab woh khidki ke paas khadi thi. "Uski awaaz ki khoobsurati uske imaan ki
gehrai aur junoon mein hai jis ke saath woh parhta hai. Woh Rasool Allah (pbuh) se
bepanah mohabbat karta hai." Imaan ki gehrai, junoon, uski awaaz ka dard aur
mithaas…kya tha jo usay itna mutasir kar gaya? "Duniya ki ibtida Khaliq ke ishq se
hoti hai aur inteha uske Rasool Muhammad (pbuh) ke ishq par hoti hai," usne yaad
kiya. Yeh soch usay khamoshi aur gehri soch mein le gayi—as if woh apne andar
gahrayi mein ja rahi thi, andheray mein roshni ya hidayat dhoond rahi thi. "Kya cheez
hai jo Rasool Allah (pbuh) ke ashqeen ko aansoon mein ghira deti hai? Jo unke dil ko
choo leti hai? Imaan? Ishq? Junoon? Kyoon main aansoon nahi baha saki?"

"Kyoon mere honton par tareef ke alfaaz nahi aaye?" Imama ki awaaz toot gayi jab
usne Jalal ke parhaye hue alfaaz dohrane ki koshish ki. Usne gala saaf kiya aur phir

76
se koshish ki, khuli khidki ke paas khadi hui. Aadha raste mein, woh ruk gayi: Jalal ki
awaaz usay sata rahi thi, bilkul wazeh aur buland, jaise azan ki awaaz. Usay apne
chehre par nami mehsoos hui aur samajh aaya ke woh ro rahi thi. Uski ungliyon ne
uski bheegi aankhon ko chuwa. Pareshan, aur apne chehre ko haathon se chhupate
hue, woh farsh par gir gayi aur dil khol kar roti rahi. Insaan ke liye shayad sabse
mushkil museebat tab hoti hai jab uska dil ek na-taale shaksiyat ko tasleem kar raha
hota hai magar uski zubaan use izhar nahi kar sakti, jab uska zehan sachai ko qubool
kar raha hota hai magar woh usay bol nahi sakta.

Imama Hashim apne aap ko isi dorahaye par pa rahi thi. Woh faisla jo usay pichlay
do ya teen saal se azab mein mubtala kar raha tha, woh ek awaaz se ho gaya—bina
imaan ki buniyad ko talaash karte ya jaanchte hue Rasool Allah (pbuh) par. Saalon se,
usne apne Rasool ki tareef sun rakhi thi, magar kabhi is tarah ka asar nahi hua—
kabhi aansoon nahi aaye na dil pighla—lekin jab bhi usne Hazrat Muhammad (pbuh)
ke baare mein suna, padha ya baat ki, usay ajeeb sa asar mehsoos hota, woh unki
taraf khicha chala jata. Sabiha ke dars par uska mukabla khatam ho gaya, aur Jalal
Ansar ki awaaz jaise raasta dikhane wali jugnu thi.

" Me tujhe alam-e-ashya me bhi paa leta hoon Log kehte hain ke hai alam-e-baala
tera "

--------------------------------------

Yeh Imama ke liye ek naye safar ka aaghaz tha. Wo regular Sabiha ke paas jaati thi
aur in jamaat mein hissa lena uske faislay ko mazbooti deta aur uske shakook ko
door karta. Islam qabool karna Imama ke liye ek bhari faisla tha, jo uske har pehlu ko
mutasir karta tha. Ab wo Asjad se shaadi nahi kar sakti thi kyun ke wo Musalman
nahi tha; aur jald he ya baad mein apne ghar walon se door hona parhta tha, kyun
ke wo aisi mahaul mein nahi reh sakti thi jahan Islam ke haqaiq aur uske usool khule
aam mubham kiye ja rahe the. Usay apne taleem ke liye di gayi funds aur uski
zindagi ke kharch ke liye milne wale paiso ke asal zariye par shak hone laga tha. Wo
zindagi jo pehle jaise ek khayali duniya lagti thi, ab woh ek khalab dikhayi dene lagi
thi, phir bhi usne khud hi is raaste ko chuna tha. Usay apni is mukhalifat par hairat
hoti thi: usne Allah se himmat aur istiqamat ke liye dua ki thi aur uski dua qubool hui
thi, lekin wo ab bhi itni jawan thi ke dar aur shak ke shikar ho sakti thi.

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"Imama, apne walidain ko abhi apni mazhab ka izhar mat karo. Tum khud par qaim
rehna seekho—phir tum Asjad se shaadi se inkaar kar sakti ho aur apne parivar ko
apni mazhab ki khabar de sakti ho," yeh Sabiha ne Imama ke musibat par guftagu
karte waqt mashwara diya.

"Main apne walid ke diye hue paise istemal nahi karna chahti, khas kar jab mujhe
pata hai ke unhone apni dolat kufr ki jhooti tashkeel mein kamai hai. Aise funds ka
istemal sahi nahi hoga,"

"Yeh sahi hai, lekin tumhare pass koi aur rasta nahi hai. Behtar hai ke tum apni
taleem mukammal kar lo ta ke tum apne walid par depend na rahe,"

Bari mushkil se bari jabki Sabiha ne koi rasta dikhaya na ho Imama ke pass, to is ke
pass koi rasta nahi tha: us ke pass apne khawab ko chorhne ki himmat nahi thi.

---------------------------------------

Raat das bajay thay jab wo cinema hall se bahar aaya aur chalte hue baaki popcorn
kha raha tha. Adhe ghante baad, usne ek bade haweli ke darwaze ki ghanti bajayi.

"Kya main khana serve karun, Sahab?" naukar ne poocha.

"Nahi."

"Doodh?"

"Nahi."

Wo apne kamre ki taraf chala gaya aur darwaza band kar diya. Light on karke, usne
bekaar mein idhar udhar phaile hue kitabon aur kagazon ko chhua. Phir usne
bathroom mein jaake shaving kit se ek naya razor blade liya aur apne bistar par baith
gaya. Bedside lamp on karke, usne main lights off kiye. Bahut dhyan se, usne blade
ko khol ke, ek tezi se apne daaye haath ki kalai par ek zakhm lagaya. Ek siiski uske
munh se nikli par usne apne honthon ko kas kar daba liya. Usne apne aankhein khuli
rakhne ki koshish ki jab uska daaya haath bistar ke kinare par latka hua tha, khoon
ek barabar nali ke roop mein farsh par beh raha tha.

Uska dimaagh aisa laga jaise ek chakkar mein chala gaya ho jahan se achanak phatke
usse hila dete thay. Shor tez hota gaya aur usne apni aankhein kholi, lekin use iska
koi matlab samajh nahi aaya.

78
------------------------------------------------

Usay zabardasti neend se jagaya gaya.

"Imama! Imama!" Yeh Waseem tha, jo zor se uska naam pukar raha tha aur darwaza
pe zor zor se dastak de raha tha.

"Kya hai? Kyu chillaa rahe ho?" Usne darwaza khola to dekha Waseem panic mein
tha.

"Kya tumhare paas First Aid kit hai?"

"Haan, kyun?" Usay laga zameen phisal rahi hai.

"Bas lekar chalo mere saath. Choo-Choo ne phir se khudkushi karne ki koshish ki
hai—usne apni kalai kaat li hai. Unka naukar neeche hai... chalo jaldi!"

Imama ne achanak se sukoon ka saans liya.

"Tumhara dost mental hospital ka case hai, uske rawayye ko dekh kar," usne ghusse
se kaha aur apna dupatta uthaya aur Waseem ke peechay chal di.

"Maine abhi dekha hai—woh abhi hosh mein hai," Waseem ne kaha jab woh
seedhiyan utar rahe thay.

"Tumhe usay seedha hospital le jana chahiye tha."

"Woh bhi karenge, lekin pehle uski kalai pe patti bandho taa ke khoon ruk sake."

"Main zyada kuch nahi kar sakti, Waseem. Allah jaane usne kis cheez se kalai kaati
hai, waise, uska gharwala kahan hai?" Imama ne poocha.

"Ghar mein sirf naukar hi hain. Woh usay phone call ke baare mein batane aaye thay
aur koi jawab na milne par unhone darwaza tod diya."

Imama kuch kehne lagi Salar ke baare mein, magar Waseem ne ghusse se mud kar
kaha, "Khuda ke liye, apne comments band nahi kar sakti? Uski haalat serious hai aur
tum ho jo usay bura bhala keh rahi ho!"

79
"Mujhe aise logon se koi humdardi nahi hai jo aise kaam karte hain."

Ab woh Salar ke ghar mein thay aur kuch dair mein uske kamre mein dakhil ho gaye.
Imama dehleez par ruk gayi, hairan reh gayi. Pooray kamre mein aadhi nangi models
ke posters lage hue thay—bilkul aisa lag raha tha jaise woh waqai wahan hain. Woh
sharm se lal ho gayi aur bistar par padhe huye zakhmi naujawan ki izzat uski nazar
mein aur gir gayi. Posters uske kirdar ki peep lagte thay aur dusre logon ke wahan
hone ki wajah se Imama ko sharam mehsoos ho rahi thi. Woh jaldi se bistar ki taraf
badhi jahan Salar Sikandar pada tha. Waseem uski kalai ko chadar ke kone se
thaame hue tha taa ke khoon ruk sake, jabke Salar, aadhe hosh mein, khud ko azad
karne ki koshish kar raha tha aur saath saath Waseem aur naukaron se baat karne ki
koshish kar raha tha.

"Uska zakhm dekho," Waseem ne kaha aur Salar ki kalai ko dikhaya.

Imama ne chadar hataayi—zakham lamba aur gehra tha. Salar ne phir se apni baazu
kheenchne ki koshish ki magar Imama ki pakad mazboot thi.

"Waseem, First Aid kit se patti nikaalo. Zakham bohot gehra hai—hum yahan kuch
nahi kar sakte, usay hospital le jaana hoga. Main uski kalai pe patti bandhti hoon taa
ke khoon ruk sake," usne kaha.

Salar ne apna sar jhatka aur ankhain kholne ki koshish ki. Har cheez dhundli thi jisme
usne dekha ke ek ladki uski baazu ko mazbooti se pakre hue hai. Ghusse mein usne
apni baazu kheenchne ki koshish ki magar dard ki lehr se bhar gaya: usay mehsoos
hua jaise wo mar jayega magar agle hi pal phir se usne apni baazu chudane ki
koshish ki.

"Tum kaun ho? Chali jao! Chale jao yahan se!" usne ghusse ke bawajood ladkhadate
huye kaha. "Yeh mera kamra hai... tumhari himmat kaise hui yahan aane ki? Tum
Waseem ho... nikal jao! Chale jao yahan se... haramzade!" usne cheekh kar kaha, alfaz
phir se ghalat bolte huye.

Imama ne suna usne uske bhai ko gaali di, magar Salar ki kalai nahi chhodi aur uski
tadap ke bawajood uski kalai pe patti bandhne lagi. Dhund mein, Salar ne apni kalai
pe kuch narmi mehsoos ki. Usne phir se apni doosri baazu se chudane ki koshish ki,
magar woh nakam raha.

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Uski baazu ladki ke sir se lagi, uska dupatta sir se phisal gaya aur baal khul gaye.
Usne apni baayin haath se uski kalai ko thaama aur daayin haath se uske chehre par
zor se thappad mara. Yeh itna zor daar tha ke woh ek pal ke liye hosh mein aaya aur
uska chehra dekha jo ghusse se lal tha.

"Agar tumne phir se hila, to main tumhari doosri kalai bhi kaat dungi—samjhe?" usne
cheekh kar kaha. Salar ne Waseem ko bhi kuch kehte suna, magar uski baat samajh
nahi paaya.

Jab woh behoshi ki halat mein jaa raha tha, usne ek aurat ki awaaz suni, "Uska blood
pressure check karo..."

Usne achanak apne chehre pe thappad yaad aaya aur dekhne ki koshish ki, magar us
ladki ki awaaz usay phir se andhere mein le gayi.

Jab agle dafa hosh aaya, to woh ek private clinic mein tha. Usne apni aankhein khol
kar idhar udhar dekha: ek nurse kamre mein mojood thi, drip theek kar rahi thi. Salar
ne usay muskurate hue dekha aur kuch kehne ki koshish ki, magar phir se be-hosh
ho gaya.

Usay yaad nahi ke agle dafa kab hosh aaya, magar usne apne gird jaan-pehchaan ke
chehre dekhe. Uski maa uske kareeb aayi jab usne aankhein kholi.

"Kaisa mehsoos kar rahe ho?"

"Bilkul theek," usne dheere se jawab diya, Sikandar Usman ko dekhte hue jo door
khada tha. Isse pehle ke uski maa kuch aur keh paati, kamre mein mojood doctor
uski nabz check karne aaya. Usne Salar ko ek injection diya aur doosri drip lagayi.
Salar be-dilli se in sab ko dekhta raha aur apni aankhein chhat ki taraf kar li jab
doctor, Sikandar Usman aur uski biwi Tyaba se baat kar raha tha. Kamre mein bilkul
khamoshi thi. Sikandar aur Tyaba udas baithe thay.

Apni puri koshishon aur ehtiyaaton ke bawajood, Salar ne chothi dafa khudkushi
karne ki koshish ki thi, aur is dafa lagbhag kamiyab ho gaya tha. Doctoron ne kaha
ke kuch minute ki der aur hoti to uska ant ho chuka hota. Sikandar Usman aur uski
biwi ko raat ke do baje naukar ne Salar ke baare mein ittila di thi. Unki be-sabri aur
fikar mein woh theek se so nahi paaye, aur Sikandar ne subah Islamabad ki flight tak
shayad sau se zyada cigarettes pi liye the.

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"Mujhe samajh nahi aata woh aisa kyun karta hai…humari sari rehnumayi, counseling
ka us par koi asar nahi hua. Aisa lagta hai jaise mera dimagh phat jayega jab mein
uske baare mein sochta hoon. Humne usay kis cheez se mehroom rakha? Humne
usay kya nahi diya? Sab luxuries, best education…mein usay best psychiatrist ke paas
bhi le gaya aur phir bhi yeh natija. Humne kahaan galti ki ke humein aise saza mil
rahi hai? Mein apne doston aur jaan-pehchaan walon ke liye mazak ban gaya hoon."

Sikandar bohot pareshan tha. Salar ke mamle mein woh ek nazuk mod par chal raha
tha aur thodi si bhi be-ehtiyaati is hadse par khatam hui thi. Tyaba ne apne aansu
poche. Ab hospital mein, woh kuch keh nahi paaye, magar Salar ne unki halat samajh
li aur unki khamoshi ko pasand kiya. Magar, teen din baad unhone uska samna kiya.

"Bas mujhe yeh batao ke tum aise kaam kyun karte ho?" Sikandar ne itminan se
poocha.

"Kya masla hai? Tumne wada kiya tha ke aisa rawayya nahi apnaoge. Maine tumhe
inaam ke taur par sports car bhi di thi. Phir bhi tumhe na hamari parwa hai na apne
khandan ki izzat ki." Salar be-hiss baitha raha.

"Agar kuch nahi to kam az kam hamare baare mein socho, apne walidain ke baare
mein," Tyaba ne iltija ki. "Agar koi masla hai, to share karo… discuss karo, magar
Khuda ke liye apni jaan lene ki koshish mat karo. Kya tumne kabhi socha ke agar tum
kamiyab ho gaye to hamara kya hoga?"

Salar unki baatein be-hiss sunta raha. Yeh kuch naya nahi tha: har nakaam khudkushi
ki koshish ke baad yeh hi guftagu hoti thi.

"Kyoon chup ho? Kya tumne hamari baat nahi samjhi?" Tyaba nafrat aur ghusse se
boli. "Tumhein apne walidain ko zaleel karne mein maza aata hai!"

Woh uski kamiyabi aur uski salahiyaton ko usse jawabi aksar ke taur par istemal karte
the, aur Salar sochta, "Yeh phir se shuru ho gaye."

Usne jamhaayi li. Aakhir kar, usne bola.

"Mujhe kya kehna chahiye jab aap sab kuch keh chuke hain? Meri zindagi meri zaati
baat hai aur maine pehle bhi kaha tha ke meri marne ki koi niyat nahi thi..."

Sikandar ne beech mein dakhal diya. "Jo bhi tumhari niyat ho, aisa mat karo! Ham
par reham karo!"

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"Bas yeh kaho ke tum phir se aise kaam nahi karoge. Iltija hai, bas band karo," Tyaba
ne iltija ki.

"Theek hai, main nahi karunga," Salar ne jawab diya, apne aap ko unki iltija aur
nirasha se azaad karne ke liye.

Sikandar aur Tyaba mutma'in nahi the, magar unke paas koi aur rasta nahi tha. Woh
hamesha Salar par fakhr karte the, magar usne akela unhe itni fikr di thi jitni ke unke
dusre bachon ne mil kar bhi nahi di thi.

-------------------

"How's your friend now? Did you look him up?" Imama Waseem ke saath bahar thi
jab achanak usay Salar yaad aaya.

"Behtar. Woh kuch dinon mein discharge ho jayega," Waseem ne jawab diya.

"Hum raste mein usay dekh lein?" Imama thodi hichkichahat mein thi magar Waseem
ne usay tasalli di aur woh maan gayi, halan ke usay laga ke aise mareez ki khairiyat
poochhna bekaar tha.

"Koi yeh sochta ke uske walidain humein milne ya humein shukriya kehne aate uski
madad karne par," usne kaha.

"Tumhein unki haalat ka bilkul andaaza nahi hai," Waseem ne aitraaz kiya. "Tum kya
sochti ho ke agar unse poocha jaye ke unka beta aise kyun karta hai, to woh kya
jawab denge? Mazak ke liye?"

Usay unke liye afsos hua aur kaha, "Uske walidain ne mujhe bohot shukriya ada kiya
aur jab Ammi aur Baba hospital gaye thay Salar ko dekhne, tab bhi unhone unka
shukriya ada kiya. Mujhe khushi hai ke unhone is waqia ka zikr uske walidain se nahi
kiya—yeh bohot bura hota."

"Magar tumhara dost aise kyun karta hai?" Imama ne zidd ki.

83
"Tum mujhse aise pooch rahi ho jaise woh mujhe pehle batata ho ke woh apni jaan
lene ka faisla karne wala hai." Waseem ne chirh kar kaha.

"Woh tumhara qareebi dost hai."

"Utna bhi qareebi nahi. Waise bhi, jo woh karta hai woh uska apna kaam hai. Shayad
koi masla hai."

"Phir tumhe aise logon se door rehna chahiye. Kya pata tum bhi kal ko aisa karne
lago?"

"Agar tumhe woh din yaad ho jab tumne jo kiya, to woh waqia zaroor is dosti mein
farq laega," Waseem ne ghamand se kaha. "Tumhara rawayya theek nahi tha."

"Mujhe nahi lagta ke usay woh thappad yaad hoga—woh hosh mein nahi tha. Kyun?
Usne kuch kaha?" Imama ne poocha. "Aur waise bhi, woh apni baazu chudane ki
koshish kar raha tha aur gaaliyaan de raha tha aur phir usne mera dupatta kheench
liya tha," usne izafa kiya.

Waseem ne Salar ka difa karne ki koshish ki. "Jo bhi tha, main us waqt bohot ghussa
tha, magar mujhe afsos hua aur main Allah ka shukr guzaar hoon ke uski jaan bach
gayi—warna mujhe usay thappad marne ka bohot bura lagta."

Imama ko waqai afsos hua, magar jab Waseem ne usay Salar se maafi maangne ka
kaha, to Imama ne inkaar kar diya. "Main guzra hua waqia kyun chhedoon? Waise
bhi, woh itna qareebi nahi ke yeh hamari dosti ko affect kare."

Jab woh shopping kar chuke, to Waseem ne Salar ko dekhne clinic ki taraf gaadi
mori. Jab woh andar aaye to woh soup pee raha tha aur usne foran Waseem ke
saath ladki ko pehchaan liya. Salar ki maa ne usay bataya tha ke Waseem ki behan
ne usay pehli madad di thi—usay is baare mein kuch yaad nahi tha magar usay
chehre pe zor se maara gaya thappad yaad tha. Usne Imama ko dekhte hi ruk gaya.

Uski teekhi nazar ne Imama ko yakeen dila diya ke usne us raat ke waqiaat bhulay
nahi thay.

Certainly! Here's the text with dialogue separated into distinct lines in Roman Urdu:

"Salaam badalay, Tyaba aur Sikander Usman Imama ka shukriya ada karte hue.

Salar ne Waseem ko kuch saal se jaanta tha, aur unke ghar Imama ko dekha bhi
tha lekin kabhi us par tawajjah nahin di thi. Lekin ab usne usko nazar se ghora: uska

84
us par shukriya ya qarz nahin tha — usne uske maqsad ko bigāṛ diya tha apni jaan
bachā ke. Imama uski maa se baat karti rahi
magar uski nazar ko us par mahsoos kiya.

Pehle kabhi kisi ne usko aise nafrat bhari nazar se nahi dekha tha —usko mehsoos
hua jaise woh chali jaye. Salar uske nazariye mein aur gir gaya; uska irada tha ke woh
maafi maangne wala tha, lekin ab usko aur zor se do thappar maarna chahti
thi. Thodi der baad, alvida keh kar woh chali gayi magar Imama ne Salar ko muh
nahi lagaya aur bina usko dekhe chali gayi. Usko bahut araam hua ke woh bahar
nikal gayi. Usne Waseem ko uske doston ki pasand ki tanqeed ki. Woh hairaan hua
aur usse poocha: 'Kyun?' 'Uske pass to itni aukat nahi—sab kuch usko pata hai ke
main teri behan hoon aur ke main tere kamre mein thi. Woh tera waqt barbaad
karne ke layak nahi hai — aur behtar hai ke tum uske saath kam baat karo.''Main
dhiyan rakhunga,' Waseem ne usse tasalli di. 'Tumhe ye waqia dobara nahi sunana
parega.' Woh mazmoon badalne ki koshish ki aur Imama ne chup rehne ka faisle se
inkaar kiya. Lekin ab Salar uski qabile bardasht list mein shamil ho gaya tha. Ye ek
ittefaqi baat hai ke us Islamabad mein thi jab yeh waqia hua, varna uski Salar ke
saath yeh ghalat introduction aur qareebi mulaqat nahi hoti.....

Islam qabool karne ke baad, Imama ne pehli baar Jalal Ansar ko qaribi tor par dekha
jab wo unke college aaye. Wo apni doston ke sath lawn mein baithi thi aur wo
Zainab se baat karne aaye. Wo ek taraf chale gaye, lekin Imama ki nazar un par se
hut nahi rahi thi. Usay aik ajeeb si khushi mehsoos hui. Wo chale gaye magar uski
nazar unka peecha karti rahi jab tak wo nazar se ojhal nahi ho gaye. Uski dostain
guftagu mein masroof thi, magar wo apne ird gird se be-khabar thi. Jab usay wo aur
nazar nahi aaye tab usay haqeeqat ka ehsaas hua.

Uski doosri mulaqat Jalal se Zainab ke ghar hui jab wo college ke baad uske sath
gayi. Zainab apni doston ko bulati rahi magar sab ne kisi na kisi bahanay se mana
kar diya, isliye Imama sath chali gayi. Usay Zainab ke ghar mein aik be-wajah ka
sukoon mehsoos hota tha-shayad, ye Jalal ke waja se tha.

Imama drawing room mein intezar kar rahi thi jab Zainab chai lane gayi.

Jalal andr aaye aur Imama ko dekh kar hairan ho gaye; unhe wahan usay dekhne ki
tawaqo nahi thi. Unho ne apni mamooli tor par usay salam kiya aur Imama ne

85
sharmate hue jawab diya. "Tum Zainab ke sath aayi ho?" unho ne poocha. "Wo
kahan hai? Mujhe us se baat karni thi. Mujhe nahi pata tha ke usay mehman aaye
hain," unho ne maafi mangi aur mur kar chal diye.

"Ap bohot achi naats parhtay hain," Imama ne foran kaha. Unho ne apne qadam
roke.

"Shukriya. Tumne mujhe kahan suna?"

"Jab mein ek din Zainab ko call kiya tha aur uska intezar kar rahi thi...aur phir Zainab
ne mujhe muqable ke bare mein bataya. Aapne wo naat parhi thi..." Usne kaha aur
Jalal uljhan mein par gaye-kya wo khush hotay ya hairan? Unho ne uska shukriya ada
kiya-ye lambi, patli chadar mein lapeti hui larki jinki kali aankhon ka ajeeb asar tha.
Bohat logon ne unke hunar ki tareef ki thi magar is larki ki tareef qabil-e-gour thi,
aur ziada aham uska izhar tha. Wo drawing room se chale gaye. Larkiyon se baat
karna unka maamool nahi tha, aur wo bhi aisi larki se jo unki liye ajnabi thi. Imama
wahan behtay hue ek alag hi josh mein thi-usay yaqeen nahi aa raha tha ke usne
Jalal Ansar se baat ki thi. Itna qareebi-uske samne. Wo us jagah ko ghoorti rahi jahan
wo thodi dair pehle kharay thay, aur apne zehan mein wo ab bhi unhe wahan dekh
sakti thi.

---------------------

Unki agli mulaqat hospital mein hui. Agar Imama Zainab ke ghar apni marzi se gayi
thi, to ye mulaqat ikhtiyari thi. Wo Rabia ke sath gayi thi jo wahan apni dost se milne
gayi thi. Jab usne corridor mein Final Year ke students ke sath Jalal ko dekha to uska
dil ek pal ke liye ruk gaya. Corridor itna bhara hua tha ke Imama unki taraf nahi ja
sakti thi aur usay tab ehsaas hua ke uske liye khud ko rokna kitna mushkil hai. Jab
wo kamre mein baithi thi, uske khayalat bahar uske sath hi the.

Jab Rabia aur Imama ek ghante se zyada baad bahar aaye, to students corridor se
chale gaye the; usay ek dard ka ehsaas hua. Rabia seerhiyon se utarte hue guftagu

86
mein masroof thi aur wo samne se Jalal se aamna samna kar lete hain. Imama ne ek
bijli si apne andar dauri mehsoos ki. "Assalaam Alaikum, Jalal Bhai! Kaisa hain aap?"
Rabia ne unhe salam kiya.

Jalal ne tameez se jawab diya, phir poocha ke wo hospital kyun aaye hain. Rabia ne
waja samjhayi jabke Imama khamoshi se unhe dekhti rahi.

"Dastgiri meri tanhai ki too ne hi to ki

Me to mar jata agar sath na hota tera"

Unki awaaz ne usay aik jaadu sa kar diya. Bohat kam hi usne kisi ko itni shuddh Urdu
bolte suna tha, aur jab bhi wo bolte, uski awaaz usay pehli baar suni hui khoobsurat
naat yaad dila deti. Usay aik ajeeb si fakhar aur jalan mehsoos hui unhe dekhte hue.
Rabia se baat karte hue, shayad Jalal ko Imama ki tawajju ka ehsaas hua aur unho ne
muskurate hue uski taraf dekha. Imama ne nazar hata li. Aik lamha ke liye uska
behad dil chahta tha ke wo unke qareeb ho jaye. Usne unse nazar hata li, aur apne
ird gird dekhte hue, "la- haul" apne labon par dohraya. "Shayad Shaitan mujhe
gumrah karna chahta hai," usne apne aap se kaha, magar burai ko door karne ki
duaein mangne ke bawajood, uske jazbat mein koi farq nahi aaya: wo ab bhi usay
waisa hi mehsoos kar rahi thi. Kai saal ke Asjad ke sath mangni ke bawajood, usay
kabhi us tarah nahi mehsoos hua tha. Us din wahan khaday rehte hue, usay pehli
baar Jalal se dar laga. "Agar main apne aap par qaboo kho doon jab bhi usay
dekhoon to kya hoga? Main kabhi itni kamzor nahi thi. Usmein aisa kya hai jo meri
iradon ko pighla deta hai?"

---------------------

Zainab ne Jalal ke kamre ka darwaza knock kiya aur andr aayi. "Kya aap free hain?"
usne poocha, phir bola. "Mujhe aik dost se guzarish hai: kya aap apni awaaz mein
kuch naats cassette par record kar sakte hain?" Jalal hairan hua aur usne us se
poochne wale andaaz mein dekha.

"Ye meri dost Imama ke liye hai. Usne mujhse request ki aur maine maan li." Jalal
muskuraya-usay us se mulaqat yaad aayi. "Kya wo wahi larki hai jo yahan thi?" usne
poocha.

87
"Haan. Wo Islamabad se hai magar yahan parhti hai. Wo hostel mein rehti hai. Uske
walid ek baray industrialist hain, magar wo bohot modest hai," Zainab ne bataya. "Jo
maine dekha uske sath, lagta hai wo bohot deeni hai," Jalal ne dekha.

"College ka mahol us par asar nahi kiya." "Haan. Jab se wo aayi hai hamesha chadar
leti hai aur mujhe lagta hai uska khandan bohot conservative hai. Magar sab bohot
well-educated hain, uske bhai aur behnein bhi. Wo sab se choti hai," Zainab ne
bataya. "Toh aap cassette record karenge na?"

"Kal mil jayegi," usne jawab diya. Zainab kamre se chali gayi aur wo wapas apni
kitaab parhnay laga.

---------------------

Unki agli mulaqat library mein hui. Imama ka reaction bilkul achanak tha jab usne
wahan dekha: wo aage barhi aur usay salam kiya. "Main aapka shukriya ada karna
chahti thi." Jalal ne hairani se uski taraf dekha. "Cassette ke liye." Usne muskurate hue
kaha. "Mujhe andaza nahi tha ke mujhse aisi darkhwast ki jayegi." "Aap bohot naseeb
wale hain," usne dheemi awaaz mein kaha.

"Kis tarah se?" "Har tarah se... aapko bohot kuch mila hai."

"Aap bhi bohot naseeb wali hain," usne jawab diya. Usne uski taraf udasi bhari
muskurahat ke sath dekha aur Jalal ko shak hua ke uski aankhein num hain. Usne
apni nazar jhuka li.

"Shuruwat mein mere paas kuch nahi tha, lekin ab hai," usne utni hi narmi se kaha.
Jalal uske alfaz ko samajhne ki koshish kar raha tha. "Aapke paas Nabi (PBUH) ke liye
itni izzat, itna pyaar hai jab aap unka naam lete hain..." usne adhoori baat chhod di,
magar Jalal uske alfaz mukammal hone ka intezar karta raha. "Mujhe aap se jalan
hoti hai," usne kaha. "Har koi aapki tarah mehsoos nahi karta. Na hi wo apni
mohabbat ka izhar aapki tarah kar sakte hain-aisi tarah se jo sunne wale ko Nabi
(PBUH) ke qadam par girne par majboor kar de. Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) bhi
aapko pyar karte honge." Usne uski taraf dekhte hue kaha, saaf aankhon se.

88
"Shayad, ye mera ghalat fehmi thi," usne socha, phir bola. "Agar aisa hai to waqai
main bohot naseeb wala hoon. Main sirf itna jaanta hoon ke mujhe hamare Nabi
(PBUH) ke liye gehra pyaar aur izzat mehsoos hoti hai aur ye mere liye waqai ek
barkat hai. Allah kuch logon ko hi ye ehsaas deta hai." Jalal ne jazbat ke sath kaha
aur Imama apni nazar uspar se hata nahi sakti thi. Usne kabhi apne aap ko itna
chhota mehsoos nahi kiya jitna ab kar rahi thi. "Shayad main bhi kabhi naats parhun,
lekin Jalal Ansar ki shiddat ke sath nahi. Meri awaaz logon ko kabhi bhi aise nahi
jhunjhodegi jaise uski tilawat karti hai," usne afsos ke sath socha jab wo library se
door chali gayi.

---------------------

Un mulaqaton ke baad, Imama ne apni poori koshish ki ke wo Jalal se door rahe-

even uske bare mein sochne se bhi door rahe. Usne Zainab se bhi faasla barhane ki
koshish ki, lekin sab bekar. Har guzarte din ke sath uski majboori barhti gayi aur wo
bilkul toot gayi.

"Usme kuch hai jo meri sab deewarein tor deta hai," usne tasleem kiya.

Shayad ye tasleem karna hi tha jo uska dhyan phir Jalal ki taraf le gaya; shayad pehle
ye gher iradi amal tha, lekin ab usne jaan bujhkar Jalal ko Asjad ki jagah apni zindagi
mein rakh diya. "Mujhe aise shakhs ki saathiyat ki talash karna galat kya hai jinki
awaaz mujhe mere Nabi (PBUH) ke huzoor le aati hai? Mujhe aise shakhs ki khwahish
kyun na ho jo Nabi (PBUH) se mere se zyada mohabbat karta hai? Mujhe dua kyun
na karni chahiye ke hamare naseeb jurein, ke unka naam meri pehchaan ho? Wo ek
aise shakhs hain jinko main jaanti hoon, jinko main unki barkaton ke liye jalan karti
hoon."

Imama ke paas apne jazbat ko durust sabit karne ke liye tamam wajoohat thi, tamam
jawabat the. Usne Jalal ke paas hone ke tareeqe dhundhne shuru kar diye. Wo
Zainab ko tab call karti jab wo jaanti thi ke Jalal bhi ghar hoga, kyunke wo aksar
phone uthata tha. Be-maksad guftagu unke darmiyan lambi aur maqsad mand hoti
gayi aur aakhirkar wo milne lage. Javeria, Rabia aur Zainab ko Imama aur Jalal ki
barhte hue dosti ka pata nahi tha. Wo ek house job kar raha tha aur Imama aksar

89
uske hospital jati thi. Unho ne apne pyaar ka izhar nahi kiya tha lekin wo apne jazbat
se puri tarah waqif the. Usay pata tha ke Imama ke jazbat uske liye sirf attraction se
zyada hain aur wo bhi apne jazbat ke bare mein waqif thi.

Jalal itna deeni tha ke usne kabhi nahi socha tha ke wo kisi larki ke sath aise involved
hoga ya us se aise milega, lekin sab kuch gher iradi aur ahista ahista hua. Usne apne
jazbat ke bare mein Zainab ko nahi bataya; agar usne bataya hota, to wo usay Asjad
ke sath mangni ke bare mein bata deti. Agar usay pata hota, to wo bohot ehtiyaat se
kaam leta aur rishta is had tak na barhta.

Ek mulaqat ke douran, Imama ne aik tajwez pesh ki, jo Jalal ke liye bohot hairat ki
baat thi. "Jab aapki house job khatam hogi to aap kya plan karte hain?" "Main
specialization ke liye abroad jaunga." "Aur phir?" "Phir wapas aake apna khud ka
hospital kholunga." "Kya aapne shaadi ke bare mein socha hai?" Uske sawal ne Jalal
ko chonkaya. "Har koi shaadi ke bare mein sochta hai," usne muskurate hue jawab
diya. "Aap kis se shaadi karne ka plan karte hain?" "Ye to dekhna padega." Thodi der
ke baad, Imama ne poocha, "Kya aap mujhse shaadi karenge?" Jalal bohot hairan reh
gaya aur jawab nahi de saka. "Kya maine aapko naraaz kiya?" usne poocha jab wo
chuppi mein tha. Usne apna sawal dohraya, aur usay uski soch se jagaya. "Ye sawal
to mujhe aapse poochna chahiye tha. Kya aap mujhse shaadi karengi?" "Haan." Usne
pur-sukoon aur mazbooti se jawab diya. "Aur aap?" "Main...main...haan, zaroor. Aur
main kis se shaadi karunga?" Usne dekha ke uske chehre par ek chamak aa gayi jab
usne apni baat mukammal ki. "Jab meri house job khatam ho jayegi, to main apne
walidain ko aapke ghar formally bhejunga." Wo kuch der chup rahi, phir boli, "Jalal,
main aap se apne walidain ki marzi ke baghair kaise shaadi kar sakti hoon?" Wo
hairan hua. "Aapka kya matlab hai?" "Ho sakta hai ke wo hamari shaadi par aitraaz
karen." "Kya aapne unhe hamare bare mein bataya nahi? Aapko unka reaction kaise
pata?" "Nahi," usne kaha. "Lekin main unhe jaanti hoon." Jalal pareshan ho gaya.
Usne uske walidain ki taraf se koi rukawat nahi sochi thi, lekin wo jaanti thi ke aisa
hoga. "Kya aap phir bhi mujhse shaadi karenge, unki mukhalfat ke bawajood?" Usne
soch mein parh gaya aur uski chuppi ne Imama ko pareshani mein daal diya.
Aakhirkar, usne bola. "Haan. Phir bhi, aap meri ek lauti choice hongi. Main kisi aur se
shaadi karne ka soch bhi nahi sakta. Main aapke walidain ko manane ki koshish
karunga, lekin agar wo inkaar karte hain to bhi hum aage barhenge." "Kya aapke

90
walidain maan jayenge?" usne poocha. "Haan, aur agar nahi maane to main unhe
mana lunga. Wo kabhi mujhe inkaar nahi karte," usne fakhar ke sath kaha.

"Hello!" Imama ne awaaz sun kar murh kar dekha. Ye Salar tha, kuch feet door,
hamesha ki tarah farigh, uski shirt ke button khule huay aur haath jeans ki jebon
mein. Taimur bhi uske saath tha. Ek lamha ke liye, Imama samajh nahi pai ke kya
kare.

"Chalo, main tumhe is larki se milwata hoon," Salar ne kaha jab usne Imama ko
bookshop mein dekha.

"Ye chadar pehne hui shakhs?" Taimur ne heran hote huay kaha jab usne use dekha.
"Ye kaun hai?"

"Ye Waseem ki behan hai."

"Tumhara unse kya lena dena? Waseem aur uski family bohot conservative hain, to
tum isse milna kyun chahte ho?"

"Main pehli baar nahi mil raha... pehle bhi mil chuka hoon, aur waise bhi, isse baat
karne mein kya harj hai?" Salar ne Taimur ke aitraazat ko nazarandaz kar diya.

Imama ki nazar magazine se hut kar Salar aur uske dost par gai. "Kaisi ho?" usne
pucha jab usne dekha ke wo unki taraf dekh rahi hai.

"Teek hoon," usne jawab diya.

Salar ne Taimur ka taaruf karaya, keh raha tha ke wo bhi Waseem ka dost hai.
"Waseem wahan bahar hai." Usne shopping center ki taraf ishara kiya.

"Magar hum yahan usse milne nahi aaye," Salar ne kaha. Usne sanjeedgi se Salar ko
dekha.

"Ham tumse baat karne aaye hain."

"Mujhe tum log ache se nahi pata, to baat karne ke liye kya hai?" usne thanday lehje
mein jawab diya. Usko Salar ki aankhon ka dekhna pasand nahi aya—usne socha ke
wo kabhi logo se aankhen jhuka kar baat nahi karta, khaaskar larkiyon se. Usne
magazine ko phir se palatna shuru kar diya.

"Tu mujhe nahi janti?" usne thaka hua lehja mein kaha. "Main tumhare ghar ke bilkul
sath rehta hoon."

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"Bilkul rehte ho, magar main tumhe 'personal' taur par nahi janti," usne wazeh kiya,
nazar ab bhi magazine par thi.

"Kuch mahine pehle tumne meri jaan bachai thi," usne phir se uska mazaq udaya.

"Ek medical student ke tor par, ye mera farz tha. Main kisi ke liye bhi yahi karti jo
mere samne mar raha hota. Ab, agar tum mujhe maaf karo, to main busy hoon."
Salar ne hilan nahi kiya, halan ke Taimur ne uski asteen kheenchne ki koshish ki; usne
Waseem ki wajah se Imama ka kuch lihaz kiya. Salar ne apna haath chhudaya.

"Main us raat ke liye tumhara shukriya ada karna chahta tha, halan ke tumhara
rawaiya mere saath mukammal tor par professional nahi tha," Salar ne sanjeedgi se
kaha aur Imama ne uski taraf dekha.

"Agar tum mere thappad ki baat kar rahe ho, to wo ghair professional tha aur mujhe
maafi chahiye (halan ke mujhe yaqeen hai ke tum isse zyada deserve karte thay),"
usne adhe adhoore alfaz ko niglte huay kaha.

"Us se mujhe koi masla nahi tha. Mera matlab kuch aur tha," usne beparwai se jawab
diya. "Tumne meri kalai bohot be dhangay se bandhi thi aur tum mera blood
pressure theek se check bhi nahi kar saki thi," usne kaha, ek chewing gum ka stick
munh mein dalte hue. Imama ne mehsoos kiya ke uske kaan surkh ho gaye hain.
Usne bina palke jhapkaye uski taraf dekha. Wo uska mazaq urata raha. "Yeh kitni
sharm ki baat hai ke tum wo bhi nahi kar sakti jo koi ghair-trained shaks se bhi ki
umeed ki ja sakti hai."

"Main doctor nahi hoon, sirf ek medical student hoon. Aur jahan tak ghair
professional hone ki baat hai, agle dafa ke liye tayyar raho kyunki tumhe to aisi
koshish karne ki adat hai. Main tum par practice kar kar ke apne aap ko perfect kar
loongi." Magar Salar bilkul farigh tha. Usne huste hue kaha, "Agar tum mujhe
sharminda karne ki koshish kar rahi ho..."

"To main nakam ho jaoongi kyunki tum sharminda nahi ho rahe," usne uski baat
mukammal ki. "Mujhe pata hai kyunki sharmindagi to insaano ki khasiyat hoti hai."

"Aur tumhare nazar mein main kya hoon?" Salar ne isi lehje mein poocha.

"Ek vet (doctor) is sawal ka behtar jawab de sakta hai," usne tewar se jawab diya.
Salar zor zor se hans pada.

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"Har dictionary do pairon wale jaanwar ko insaan kehte hain. Main do pairon par
chalta hoon."

"Ek bhalu se le kar ek kutta tak, jaanwar do pairon par chal sakte hain agar unhe
zaroorat ho ya unki marzi ho."

"Magar mere paas sirf do pair hain aur main hamesha un par chalta hoon."

"Khair, tum lucky ho ke tumhare char pair nahi hain; isi liye tumhe vet ke pas jana
chahiye—wo behtar samjha sakega." Imama ka lehja thanda tha. Wo bezaar thi,
magar Salar ko haar maan na thi.

"Tumhe jaanwaron ke bare mein itna ilm hai ke tum ek zabardast vet ban sakti thi.
Main tumhare ilm se bohot mutasir hoon." Imama ka chehra aur bhi surkh ho gaya.
"Agar tum meri vet ban jao, to main tumhare pas ilaaj ke liye aaoonga aur shayad
tum mere upar research bhi kar sako. Tum kya fees lo gi?" Usne sanjeedgi se kaha
aur Imama ne kuch samajh nahi payi. Uske saath baat karna musibat ko dawat dene
jaisa tha.

"Waseem tumhe bata dega," usne usay taalne ki koshish ki. Salar ne uski awaz mein
dhamki ko samajh kar bhi uska mazaq banaya. Taimur ne phir uski asteen kheenchne
ki koshish ki. "Chalo, Salar! Mujhe kaam hai."

"Theek hai, yaar—mat kheench mujhe!" Phir wo Imama ki taraf mudha. "Main bas
mazaq kar raha tha—main sach mein tumhara shukriya ada karna chahta tha. Tum
aur Waseem bohot madadgar thay. Allah Hafiz!" Imama ne unke jaane par sukoon ka
saans liya. Ye banda waqai pagal tha: usay hairani thi ke Waseem jaisa shaks uska
dost kaise ho sakta hai.

"Salar tum se milne aya tha?" Ye Waseem tha. Usne door se Taimur aur Salar ko
dekh liya tha. "Usne kya kaha?" Waseem ne shauq se poocha.

"Mujhe hairat hai ke tumhare aise dost kaise ho sakte hain—mujhe abhi tak uske
jaisa badtameez aur ghussa dilane wala insaan nahi mila," Imama bohot chirh gayi
thi. "Woh mujhe shukriya ada karne aya tha aur sath hi mujhe yeh batane ke liye ke
main na to theek se patti bandh sakti hoon aur na hi blood pressure check kar sakti
hoon."

"Bhool jao," Waseem muskuraya. "Woh pagal hai."

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"Mera dil chaha uske chehre par kuch aur thappad laga doon…sirf apne dost ke sath
aaya tha jo kuch kam nahi tha. Waise, usne kaha ke woh tumhara bhi dost hai," usne
yaad dilaaya.

"Bilkul nahi—bas ek jaan-pehchaan hai."

"Tum aise ladkon ke sath kaise reh sakte ho? Unka dressing dekhon, unka
appearance, unka baat karne ka tareeqa! Tumhe unse koi lena dena nahi hona
chahiye." Imama chalne lagi aur Waseem uske peeche chala.

"Mujhe hairani hoti hai ke usne kaise note kiya ke patti sahi nahi bandhi thi ya mujhe
uska blood pressure check karne mein problem ho rahi thi. Woh itna hil raha tha—
kaise usne yeh sab observe kiya?" Imama sochne par majboor hui.

"Woh theek keh raha tha," Waseem muskurate hue kaha. "Tumhe waqai problem thi."

"Mujhe pata hai, main bohot nervous thi," usne maan liya. "Mainne pehle kabhi aisa
case nahi dekha tha, aur woh khoon behne ka manzar ne mujhe daradiya tha. Aur
uska rawaiya, sab kuch milakar…mainne aaj tak kisi suicide case ko aise behave karte
nahi dekha."

"Aur tum doctor banna chahti ho, ek maahir aur mashhoor doctor—yeh yaqeen
karna mushkil hai!" usne kaha.

"Mainne yeh sab tumhe mere mazaq urane ke liye nahi bataya," usne etiraz kiya jab
woh parking lot ki taraf chal rahe thay.

------------------

Imama ne kuch dinon se Zainab aur Jalal ke rawaiye mein tabdeeli mehsoos ki thi.
Unka lehja badal gaya tha; unke aur uske darmiyan ek tanav tha. Usne do teen baar
Jalal ko hospital mein phone karne ki koshish ki, magar hamesha ek hi jawab milta:
wo masroof hai. Jab wo Zainab ko college se lene aata, to pehle ki tarah usse milne
nahi rukta. Aur agar wo Imama se takrata bhi, to bas ek mukhtasir salam kar ke chal
deta. Pehle to usne socha ke yeh sirf uska weham hai, magar jab yeh rawaiya zyada
wazeh hogaya, to usne faisla kiya ke wo Jalal se baat karegi aur hospital chali gayi.

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Jalal ka rawaiya thanda aur beparwa tha—usse milte waqt uske chehre par ek
muskurahat bhi nahi thi. "Kafi din ho gaye hain hum mile nahi—socha ke main aa
jaoon," usne apne dar ko door karne ki koshish karte hue kaha.

"Mujhe jana hoga, meri shift shuru hone wali hai." Imama hairan reh gayi.

"Zainab ne mujhe bataya ke tumhari shift is waqt khatam hoti hai, isi liye main ab
aayi hoon."

Jalal kuch lamhon ke liye khamosh raha, phir jawab diya, "Haan, yeh theek hai, magar
aaj mujhe kuch aur kaam hai." Imama uske chehre ko padne ki koshish kar rahi thi.
"Jalal, kya tum mujhse kisi baat par naraaz ho?" "Nahi. Main kisi se naraaz nahi
hoon," usne sakhti se jawab diya.

"Kya tum dus minute ke liye bahar aa kar meri baat sun sakte ho?" Jalal ne uski taraf
dekha aur apni coat bazu par daal kar bina kuch kahe bahar aagaya. Usne apni ghadi
dekhi jaise usay ishara dena chahta ho. "Tum mere sath aise bartao kyun kar rahe
ho?" usne seedha sawal kiya.

"Kya main tumhare sath bura salook kar raha hoon?" usne ulta jawab diya.

"Tum mujhe pichle kuch dinon se nazarandaz kar rahe ho." "Haan, main kar raha
hoon." Imama uske itne sidhe jawab se heran reh gayi—yeh umeed nahi thi. "Kyuki
main tumse milna nahi chahta," usne apni baat mukammal ki.

"Kyoon?" Wo hiran reh gayi. "Zaroor koi wajah hogi ke tumhara rawaiya itna achanak
badal gaya."

"Haan, hai," usne jhat se kaha, "magar yeh zaroori nahi ke tumhe bataya jaye—jaise
ke tumhare liye kuch cheezein mujhe batana zaroori nahi tha."

"Main? Maine tumse kya chhupaya?" "Ke tum Muslim nahi ho," usne karwaahat se
kaha. Imama ka saans atak gaya. "Kya tumne yeh mujhse nahi chhupaya?"

"Jalal, main tumhe batana chahti thi." Uski awaz haar maan rahi thi.

"Chahti thi... magar nahi bataya. Tumne mujhe dhoka dene ki koshish ki."

"Maine tumhe dhoka dene ki koshish nahi ki! Main aisa kyun karti?" usne ehtiraz
kiya.

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"Magar tumne kiya." Usne nafrat se sir hilaaya. "Tumne jaan bujh kar mujhe
phansaya."

Imama ki aankhon mein aansu agaye. "Phansaya?" usne shikasta lehje mein kaha.

"Tum mere Nabi (pbuh) se mohabbat ke baare mein jaanti thi. Ab jab mujhe tumhare
baare mein pata chal gaya hai, shadi to door ki baat, main tumse koi taluq nahi
rakhna chahta. Dubara kabhi mujhse milne ki koshish mat karna." Jalal ka lehja karwa
aur sakht tha.

"Jalal, main Islam qabool kar chuki hoon," usne dheeme se kaha.

"Oh, come on! Tum yahan khade khade bas mere liye musalman ban gayi ho," usne
mazaq urate hue kaha.

"Mainne yeh tumhare liye nahi kiya—halan ke tum is raaste par raahnuma zaroor
banay. Yeh kayi mahine pehle hua tha aur agar tumhe yaqeen nahi, to chalo—main
tumhe saboot dikhati hoon." Jalal pareeshaan tha.

"Main maanta hoon ke pehla qadam maine tumhari taraf badhaya," Imama ne kaha,
"tumhe phansaya, jaise tum kehte ho. Magar main tumhare mamle mein majboor
thi—yeh mere ikhtiyar mein nahi tha... tumhari awaz thi. Maine tumhe bataya tha ke
jab pehli baar tumhe tilawat karte suna tha to kya mehsoos kiya. Kya tum usi tarah
se bartao karte agar tumhe pehle se mere baare mein pata hota? Yeh hi wo khauf
tha jo mujhe itni dair tak chup rehne par majboor karta raha. Kuch cheezein zindagi
mein hamare ikhtiyar se bahar hoti hain—mere liye wo tum the."

"Kya tumhare ghar walon ko is baare mein pata hai?"

"Nahi... nahi... main unhe nahi bata sakti. Main pehle hi mangni shuda hoon—maine
yeh bhi tumhe nahi bataya tha." Usne ruk kar kaha. "Main us gharane mein shaadi
nahi karna chahti... main tumse shaadi karna chahti hoon. Main bas apni taleem
mukammal karne ka intezar kar rahi hoon taake apne paon par khadi ho sakoon, phir
main tumse shaadi kar loongi. Char saal baad, jab main ek doctor ban jaoongi,
shayad mere walidain mere intekhab par aitraz na karein. Agar main unhe ab bata
doon ke maine Islam qabool kar liya hai, to wo mujhe college se nikal lenge aur
Asjad se shaadi karwa denge." Usne apne khauf ka izhar kiya.

"Main abhi bhi un par depend hoon... mere haath bandhe hue hain. Tum meri akhri
umeed thay ek raasta dikhane ke liye, aur main tumse sacchi mohabbat karti hoon,

96
Jalal, warna main tumse shaadi ka izhar nahi karti. Tumhe mere halaat ka zara bhi
andaza nahi hai, meri mushkilat ka—agar tum mere jagah hote to tumhe samajh aata
ke mere paas koi raasta nahi tha magar sab kuch chupane ke."

Jalal kareebi lakri ki bench par baith gaya. Wo saaf tor par pareshan tha. Imama ne
apne aansu ponchhe. "Kya tumhe mere liye kuch mehsoos nahi hota? Kya tum sirf is
liye mere saath ho kyunki main tumse mohabbat karti hoon?"

"Baitho, Imama," usne jawab diya. "Pura Pandora's box mere samne khula hai. Agar
main tumhare halaat ka andaza nahi laga sakta, to tum bhi meri surat-e-haal nahi
samajh sakti. Mere walidain kabhi yeh nahi manenge ke main kisi ghair-Muslim se
shaadi karoon, chahe meri us ke liye jo bhi feelings hon."

"Jalal, main ghair-Muslim nahi hoon," usne phir se kaha.

"Ab tum nahi ho, magar pehle thi, aur phir tumhara khandan..."

"Yeh wo cheezein hain jo mere bas mein nahi hain," usne kamzori se jawab diya.
Dono kuch der tak khamosh baithe rahe. Phir usne Jalal ki taraf dekha. "Kya tum
apne walidain ki razaamandi ke baghair mujhse shaadi nahi kar sakte?"

"Yeh bohot bara qadam hoga," usne udasi se sar hilate hue kaha. "Aur agar main
faisla kar loon, tab bhi main nahi kar sakta—tumhari tarah main bhi apne walidain
par depend hoon."

"Magar tum house job kar rahe ho aur kuch saalon mein maqbool ho jaoge."

"Main house job ke baad specialize karna chahta hoon aur bina apne walidain ke
financial support ke main yeh nahi kar sakta. Specialization ke baad apni practice
establish karne mein mujhe teen se char saal lagenge."

"Phir?" Imama ka lehja mayoosi se bhara tha.

"Phir mujhe sochne ka waqt do—ek raasta nikalne ka. Main tumhe khona nahi chahta
aur apna career bhi nahi khona chahta. Mera masla yeh hai ke mere paas apna kuch
nahi hai—jo kuch bhi hai wo mere walidain ka hai aur wo apni saari jama punji mujh
par is umeed mein kharch kar rahe hain ke main unke liye kuch karoon ga future
mein." Usne ruk kar kaha, "Kya yeh mumkin nahi hai ke tumhare walidain mujhe
tumse shaadi karne ki ijazat de dein? Is surat mein, kam az kam mere walidain
mutmain ho jayenge ke tumne unki razaamandi ke baghair mujhse shaadi nahi ki."

97
Imama ne mayoosi se uski taraf dekha. "Mujhe nahi pata... main nahi keh sakti ke yeh
mumkin hai ya nahi." Usne dheere se kaha. "Mere gharane ki ek bhi larki ne apni
marzi se shaadi nahi ki taake main keh sakoon ke kya hua. Magar mujhe pata hai ke
aise amal ka reaction bohot sakht hoga. Mere walidain mujhse bohot mohabbat
karte hain magar wo mujhe yeh qadam lene ki kabhi ijazat nahi denge. Tumhe
andaza nahi hai ke mere walid ke liye iski kitni beizzati aur izzat ka sawal hai—wo
apne tareeqe mere wajah se nahi badlenge."

"Agar mujhe apne khandan se kisi support ki umeed hoti, to main tumse madad nahi
mangti." Imama dheemi awaz mein bol rahi thi, apni awaaz ko tootne se bachane ki
koshish karte hue.

"Imama, main tumhari madad karoonga... mere walidain mujhe rad nahi karenge
halan ke unhe manana waqt lega. Main tumhari madad karoonga... tum theek keh
rahi ho, mujhe tumhari madad karni chahiye." Jalal soch mein magan tha magar
pareshan bhi. Imama ko thoda sukoon mehsoos hua; Jalal ne usay nirash nahi kiya.
"Mainne sahi intekhab kiya," usne apne aap se socha.

----------------
END OF CHAPTER 2!!!!!!!!!!!

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 CHAPTER 3

"Ye bekaar mashwara sirf Asjad ka hi ho sakta hai-koi aur aisi baat nahi kar sakta!
Kya usay ye samajh nahi aata ke mein abhi parh rahi hoon?" Imama apni bhabhi se
gusse mein boli.

"Nah, ye Asjad ya uski family ka nahi tha-ye Baba ka khayal tha," uski bhabhi ne
itminan se jawab diya.

"Baba ka khayal? Mujhe yakeen nahi ho raha! Jab mujhe medical college mein
admission mila tha, toh aisa koi plan nahi tha. Waqt aane par Baba Uncle Azam se
kehte the ke meri shaadi meri house job khatam hone ke baad hogi. Ab kya ho gaya
hai unko?" Imama heran thi.

"Zaroor koi dabao hoga, lekin Ammi ne bataya ke Baba yahi chahte hain," uski
bhabhi ne wazahat ki.

"Toh unko keh do ke mujhe house job khatam hone se pehle shaadi nahi karni."

"Theek hai... mein tumhara paigham pohcha doongi, lekin behtar hoga ke tum khud
Baba se baat karo," usne mashwara diya.

Uski bhabhi kamre se chali gayi, lekin Imama bahut fikrmand thi. Ye khabar itni
achanak aur ghair mutawaqqa thi ke wo jhatka kha gayi-sirf soch mein hi nahi, balki
waqai. Wo apni house job mukammal karna chahti thi aur phir apni practice shuru
karna chahti thi: is se wo maali tor par khudmukhtar ho sakti thi aur apne plan ke
mutabiq Jalal se shaadi kar sakti thi jo tab tak apne aap ko bhi mustaqil kar chuka
hota. Lekin ye achanak shaadi ka masla-ab kyu uth gaya tha?

"Asjad ke ghar walon ne koi darkhwast nahi ki hai; maine khud unse baat ki hai,"
Hashim Mubeen ne itminan se samjhaya. Imama unke kamre mein thi-wo zaroori
samjhti thi ke maloom kare ke kya chal raha hai.

"Apne unse pehle hi baat kar li-mujhse pooche baghair, Baba? Aap aisa kaise kar
sakte hain?" Imama ko yakeen nahi ho raha tha.

Unke walid ne uski taraf ghor se dekha. "Agar tumhe yaad ho, Imama, ye rishta
tumhari raza-mandi se manzoor hua tha," unhone kaha.

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"Rishta tay karna aur cheez hai... aur shaadi alag cheez hai. Aapne maan liya tha ke
house job se pehle shaadi nahi hogi," usne yaad dilaya.

"Tumhe shaadi se kya aitraz hai? Tumhe Asjad pasand nahi?"

"Ye pasand na pasand ka sawal nahi hai. Mein apne parhai ke darmiyan shaadi nahi
karna chahti. Aapko ache se pata hai ke mujhe eye specialist banna hai: agar ab
shaadi kar li toh mere plans, mere khwab kabhi poore nahi honge."

"Bahut si larkiyan shaadi ke baad bhi parhai jari rakhti hain. Humari family mein
misaalain hain..." unhone tasalli dene ki koshish ki, lekin usne baat kaat di.

"Wo larkiyan bahut tez, bahut samajhdaar hongi-mein nahi hoon. Mein ek waqt mein
sirf ek kaam kar sakti hoon."

"Maine Azam Bhai se baat ki hai aur wo tareekhein tay karne aa rahe hain." Hashim
Mubeen ka lehja sakht tha.

"Aap meri sari mehnat zaya kar rahe hain," usne ehtijaj kiya. "Agar aapko yehi karna
tha, toh pehle hi koi waada nahi karna chahiye tha."

"Cheezein tab alag thi; halaat ab badal gaye hain..."

Usne phir se baat kaat di. "Kyu? Ab kya badal gaya hai ke aap mujhse aisa bartao kar
rahe hain?"

"Mein yaqeen dilata hoon ke Asjad tumhari taleem mukammal karne mein poori
madad karega; woh tumhe kisi bhi tarah nahi rokeyga," Hashim ne usay tasalli dene
ki koshish ki.

"Baba, mujhe Asjad ki madad nahi chahiye, mujhe aapki madad chahiye," usne iltija
ki. "Please, mujhe apni parhai mukammal karne dein."

"Imama, zid karna band karo...mein wohi karunga jo maine faisla kiya hai," unhone
sakhti se kaha, uski iltijayen nazarandaz karte hue. "Tumhare mangni ko chaar saal ho
gaye hain aur yeh bohat lamba arsa hai. Agar unhon ne rishta tor dene ka faisla kar
liya toh?"

"Toh unhe kar lene dein. Woh abhi rishta tor sakte hain-kal ka intezar kyun? Aakhir,
yeh duniya ka anjaam toh nahi!"

100
Hashim ko sadma aur gussa hua. "Tumhe pata hai iska kya matlab hai? Beizzati...log
kya kahenge?"

"Kaisi beizzati? Yeh unka faisla hoga, humari ghalti nahi. Kuch nahi hoga, yaqeen
karen: chand dino tak log baatein karenge aur phir sab bhool jayenge. Baba, aap
bekaar mein fikar kar rahe hain," usne ghaflat se kaha, apne walid ko razi karne ki
koshish karte hue.

"Tumhara dimagh kharab ho gaya hai...aisi bakwas kar rahi ho. Ab please jao,"
Hashim Mubeen ne sakhti se kaha, uski taraf nafrat se dekhte hue.

Imama wahan se chali gayi, dil kharab ho gaya: us raat usay mushkil se hi neend
aayi. Agle din wo wapas Lahore chali gayi. Uske walid ne is maamle mein usse phir
baat nahi ki, aur usne bhi is baat ko apne zehan se nikalne ki koshish ki. Usay ane
wale imtihanat ki tayari karni thi.

Uske walid ne is guftagu ko khatam nahi samjha tha. Wo bohat ehtiyaat karne wale
shakhs the. Jab Tehreem ka school waala waqia hua tha, toh unhon ne Imama ke liye
fikar mehsoos ki thi. Ye waqia itna sanjeeda nahi tha, lekin ehtiyaat ke tor par unhon
ne Imama ki mangni Asjad se pakki kar di thi. Unka maan na tha ke naye rishtay ka
taaluq Imama ke shakk aur shubhat ko door kar dega; aur wo sahi sabit hue. Imama
ne Asjad mein zyada dilchaspi dikhana shuru ki aur apne mazhab ke amali kaamon
mein bhi hissa lena shuru kar diya. Lekin jo baat Waseem ne unhein batayi thi, usne
unhein hila kar rakh diya. Wo andaza nahi laga sakte the ke Imama ne Islam ko kis
had tak samjha hai, lekin unhein dikhayi de raha tha ke uske aqeedon aur nazariyat
mein ek wazeh tabdeeli aayi hai. Yeh sirf unke liye nahi balki poori family ke liye fikar
ka baais tha.

Wo chahte the ke wo unki badi betiyon ki tarah taleem yafta ho, aur zyada bhi
kyunke uski shaadi us family mein hone wali thi jo apni taleem par fakhar karti thi;
Asjad khud bhi chahte the ke Imama achi taleem hasil kare. Hashim Mubeen Imama
ki taleem ko shaadi tak mukammal nahi kar sakte the-jitna bhi wo chahte the-bina is
faisle ke peechay ka wazeh sabab diye.

Wo chahte the ke Asjad aur uski family ko pata na chale-woh Imama ke shakk aur
sawalat ko qabool karna mushkil samajhte the aur uski Asjad ke sath shaadi ki
zindagi khushgawar nahi hoti.

101
Ek taraf, unhon ne apne ghar walon ko is mozu par baat karne se sakhti se roka aur
doosri taraf, unhon ne Imama se guzarish ki ke wo aqalmandi se kaam le.

Imama apne mojudgi ko Sabiha ke lectures aur Jalal se mulaqaton mein itni ehtiyaat
se rakhti thi ke yeh baat uske ghar walon ke samne nahi aati thi. Raaz rakha ja sakta
tha kyunke Imama ne Javeria aur Rabia ko bhi andheray mein rakha tha; warna
afwahein phailti aur Hashim Mubeen ke kaanon tak pohanchti. Wo is bare mein
mutmaeen the, lekin Imama ke rawaiye mein jo khafi tabdeeli aayi thi, usne unhein
pareshan kar diya aur unke zehan mein is masle ka sirf ek hal tha ke uski shaadi kar
di jaye. Unka khayal tha ke is se unki zimmedari kam ho jayegi, is liye unhon ne yeh
achanak faisla liya.

---------------------------

"Jalal, mere walidain ne meri shaadi ka faisla kar liya hai... Asjad se," usne bataya. Wo
pehla shakhs tha jisse wo Lahore wapas aane par mili.

"Magar wo tumhein house job mukammal karne dene wale the," Jalal ne hairani se
kaha.

"Yeh hi unhone kaha tha lekin ab wo kehte hain ke mein shaadi ke baad apni taleem
mukammal kar sakti hoon. Asjad Lahore mein rehne ki jagah dhund lega taake mein
parhai kar sakoon." Jalal uski pareshani ko samajh sakta tha. "Kisi bhi surat mein
mein Asjad se shaadi nahi kar sakti."

"Toh unhe saaf saaf bata do, Imama-unhe kaho ke tum mujhse shaadi karna chahti
ho, Asjad se nahi," usne faisla saazi se kaha.

"Tumhe andaza nahi ke wo kaise react karenge... mujhe sab kuch batana padega."
Thodi der soch kar usne kaha, "Jalal, apne walidain se kaho ke mere walidain se baat
karein. Unhe mere bare mein batayein. Agar mere walidain mujh par dabao daalenge,
toh mujhe ghar chhorna padega aur mujhe tumhari madad chahiye hogi."

Jalal ne maan liya; usne usay tasalli di ke wo samajh jayenge aur uske faisle ko
qabool karenge. Pehli dafa, uske chehre par ek halki si muskurahat aayi. Wo agle
chand hafton tak imtihanat mein masroof rahi aur Jalal se milne ka moka nahi mila.

102
Jaise hi imtihanat khatam hue, Waseem achanak Lahore aaya usay ghar le jane ke
liye. Usne usay heran kar diya.

"Waseem, mein aaj ghar nahi ja sakti. Mere papers abhi khatam hue hain aur kuch
kaam mukammal karne hain," usne kaha.

"Mein kal tak yahan hoon; ek dost ke yahan ruk raha hoon, toh tum jo kuch karna
hai kar lo aur phir chalna," usne jawab diya, uski aakhri umeed bhi khatam karte hue.

Imama ne adhoore dil se maan liya.

"Apna sab saman bandobast kar lo," usne jate hue kaha. "Tumhein sari chhutiyaan
ghar par guzarna hongi."

Usne sir hila diya, lekin uska poora saman pack karne ka ya tamam chhutiyaan
Islamabad mein guzarna ka koi irada nahi tha. Uska plan tha ke kuch din baad wapas
Lahore chali jayegi-lekin wo ghalat thi.

Wo apne ghar walon ke sath dinner table par thi jab uske walid ne poocha,
"Tumhare papers kaise hue?"

"Bohat ache, hamesha ki tarah," usne jawab diya, chawal lete hue.

"Good! Kam az kam ab imtihanat ka tension nahi hai. Ab tum kal se shopping shuru
kar sakti ho," unhone kaha.

Imama hairan ho gayi. "Kaisi shopping?"

"Pehle jeweler ke paas jao aur phir furniture ke liye. Baqi ki tayariyan tumhare pace
par ho jayengi." Imama ke sawal ka jawab dene ke bajaye, Hashim Mubeen ne apni
biwi se kaha.

"Magar kyun, Baba?" Imama ne phir se poocha.

"Kya tumhari maa ne tumhe nahi bataya ke humne shaadi ki tareekh tay kar li hai?"

Uske haath mein chamach uski plate mein gir gaya aur uska rang urh gaya. "Meri
shaadi?" Usne apne walidain ki taraf yaqeen se dekha; wo soorat-e-haal ko samajh
nahi pa rahe the.

"Aap yeh kaise kar sakte hain... mujhse pooche baghair?" Usne bechayni se dekha.

"Humne tumse is bare mein pichli dafa yahan hone par baat ki thi," Hashim Mubeen
ne sanjeedgi se kaha.

103
"Maine mana kar diya tha. Mein..."

"Mujhe tumhari mana karne ki parwa nahi. Maine pehle hi Asjad ke ghar walon se
baat kar li hai," unhone ghusse se usay tok diya.

Table par khamoshi chha gayi jab unhone khana chor diya. Imama achanak khadi ho
gayi. "Mujhe afsos hai Baba, mein ab Asjad se shaadi nahi kar sakti. Aapne shaadi ki
tareekh tay kar li hai toh unhe kehna padega ke isay multavi kar dein. Warna. Mein
khud unse baat kar loongi."

Hashim Mubeen ghusse se phatne wale the.

"Tum Asjad se shaadi karogi aur usi din karogi jo maine tay kiya hai," unhone cheekh
kar kaha.

"Yeh insaaf nahi hai!" Imama kareeb aansu bahate hue boli.

"Ab tum mujhe batogi ke insaaf kya hai aur kya nahi-kya yeh sach hai?" Wo ghusse
se bole.

"Why are you forcing me when I'd told you I don't want to get married now?" Imama
ro rahi thi.

"Because I have the right to do so!" Unhone us par cheekha.

Usne jawab nahi diya. Apne daant pees kar aur ghusse se bharpur, wo kamre se
bahar chal diye.

"Please baith jao aur apna dinner kar lo," Salma Mubeen Hashim ke peeche gai.
"Mein usse baat karti hoon. Itna ghussa mat karo-wo sirf jazbati ho rahi hai."

Jaise hi uski maa kamre se bahar gayi, Imama ne Waseem par hamla kiya. "Get out!
Get away from here!" usne cheekh kar kaha, usse door dhakelti hui.

"Why? Maine kya kiya?" Waseem peeche hata.

"Tumne jhoot bola aur dhoke se mujhe yahan laaye. Agar mujhe Lahore mein is baat
ka pata hota, toh mein kabhi tumhare sath wapas Islamabad nahi aati."

"Maine wohi kiya jo Baba ne kaha tha-unhone mujhe mana kiya tha ke tumhe batane
se ke tumhe ghar kyun bulaya ja raha hai. Mein sirf unke hukm ki pairwi kar raha
tha," Waseem ne apni safai di.

104
"Toh jao aur unke sath baitho-tumhara yahan kya kaam hai?" Imama apna gussa
mushkil se rok rahi thi.

Waseem bina kuch kahe chal diya.

Apne kamre mein aakar, Imama apne bistar par baith gayi-zameen uske pairon ke
neeche se nikal gayi thi. Usne kabhi nahi socha tha ke uski family uske sath aisa
karegi, itne sakht tareeqe se apne nazariyat par qaim rahegi. Usay ab tak yakeen nahi
aa raha tha ke yeh sab uske sath ho raha tha: uska dil doobne laga.

"Mujhe is surat-e-haal ka samna karna padega; mein haar nahi maan sakti. Mujhe kisi
tarah Jalal se rabta karna hoga, jitni jaldi ho sake; usne apne walidain se zaroor baat
ki hogi. Mein usse baat karke koi rasta nikaal loongi," usne socha jabke wo apne
kamre mein bechaini se chakkar kaat rahi thi.

Raat ke aadhe se zyada waqt guzarne ke baad, wo bahar aayi ke Jalal ko phone kare.
Usay pata tha ke uske walidain aur bhai behen so chuke honge. Usne Jalal ka
number milaya: phone bajta raha lekin jawab nahi aya. Usne agle aadhe ghante mein
kai baar koshish ki lekin koi faida nahi hua.

Wo Javeria ya Rabia ko phone nahi kar sakti thi kyunke wo hostel mein thi. Phir,
Imama ne Sabiha ka number try kiya. Uske walid ne jawab diya aur bataya ke Sabiha
apni maa ke sath Peshawar gayi hui hai ek family shaadi ke liye; unhone kaha ke wo
agle din wahan se chale jayenge.

"Peshawar?" Imama pareshaan ho gayi.

"Agar Sabiha ke liye koi paigham ho to main use bata sakta hun," usne peshkash ki.
"Nahi, shukriya, Uncle," usne dheere se kaha. Usse kya kehna tha-woh phone kaat
diya. Uska dil mayoosiyat se doob gaya soch kar ke Jalal se rabta na ho saka. Usne
phir uske number pe call kiya, lekin kisi ne receiver usse cheen liya-uska baap tha.
"Tum kisko phone kar rahi ho?" uski awaz bahut sambhal ke thi.
"Ek dost ko," usne jawab diya, usse dekhte bina. Usne usse nahi dekh sakti thi aur
jhoot nahi bol sakti thi.
"Main tumhare liye number dial kar dunga," usne kaha aur 'Redial' button dabaya,
aur receiver apne kaan ke pass rakha. Imama use dekhte huye paled ho gayi. Thodi
der baad usne receiver wapas rakha: wazahat hai, koi jawab nahi tha.
"Tum iss dost ko iss waqt phone kar rahi thi? Kaun hai yeh dost?" usne sakht awaz

105
mein poocha. "Zainab," usne kaha, kyun ke CLI window pe Zainab ka number tha.
Usne apne baap ko Zainab ke baare mein koi shak na ho is liye Jalal tak pohanchne
wale kisi bhi shakhsat se.
"Kis liye?" "Mujhe Javeria ke liye usse paigham dena tha," usne kuch hichkichahat ke
saath kaha.
"Mujhe batao, main usse khud pohancha dunga. Imama, sach batao, kya tum kisi aur
se dilchaspi rakhti ho?" usne koi shor o shai ke bina poocha.
Woh usse thodi der tak dekhti rahi, phir kaha, "Haan." Hashim Mubeen heran ho
gaye. Usne apne alfaz dobara kiye aur Imama ne tasleem kiya. Be ikhtiyar, usne usse
ek thappad mara. "Yehi meri khauf tha." Imama, apne khayal mein khoyi hui, ab bhi
uske gaal pe haath rakha, usse dekhti rahi. Yeh uski zindagi mein pehli dafa tha ke
usne usse mara, uski pasandida beti-woh yeh nahi maan sakti thi. Aansoo uske
gaalon pe girne lage.
"Tumhe kisi aur se shadi karne ki ijazat nahi hogi, sirf Asjad se shadi kar sakti ho.
Agar tumhe kisi aur se dilchaspi hai, to usse bhool jao... Abhi! Kabhi nahi, kabhi nahi,
kabhi nahi main tumhe kisi aur jagah shadi karne nahi dunga! Ab apne kamre mein
chali jao, aur agar main tumhe phir bhi phone ke qareeb dekha to tumhare tang tod
dunga!" Uska badan gusse se kaanp raha tha.

"Baghair kisi baat ke woh apne kamre mein laut aayi aur apne bistar pe gir kar ro
padi. Uske baap ki shadeed reaction ko uske dil par bardasht nahi ho rahi thi. Bohat
der tak ro kar, jab usne uthaya to bina soche samjhe, woh sealed glass ke khidki se
bahar dekhne lagi. Neeche uske ghar aur uske haweliyon ka bagh tha. Uski nazar
Salar ke ghar ki deewar par pari. Uska kamra neeche tha; woh wahan kuch harkat
dekh sakti thi aur samajh sakti thi ke yeh Salar hai. Yeh uspar tezi se asar kiya! Agar
woh usse apni pareshani bata de aur use Jalal se rabta karne ke liye mana le, to uski
mushkil hal ho sakti thi. Magar usse usse kaise rabta karna tha. Usne zor lagaya aur
yaad kiya ke Salar ke mobile number uske gaadi ke peechle screen par likha tha.
Usne us number ko dobara yaad kiya aur ek kaghaz par likh liya. Phir teen baje raat
ko, woh ahat bina lounge mein chali gayi aur Salar ko call kiya.

Salar so raha tha jab uska cellphone beeping shuru hua. Ringtone jaari rehti thi, to
usne ghusse se apne bistar ke paas haath daala. 'Hello,' usne neend mein bola.
Imama ne uski awaz pehchani. 'Hello?' usne dobara kaha. 'Salar, main hoon, Imama,'
usne kaha. Woh kehne wala tha 'Imama kaun?' lekin usne jhatke se baith gaya. Usne

106
naam ke saath hi awaz bhi pehchani. 'Main Waseem ki behan hoon.' 'Mujhe pata hai,'
usne bulb jala diya aur apni ghadi ki taraf badha. Abhi tees minute ka the. Line ke
doosri taraf khamoshi thi. 'Hello,' usne dobara kaha. 'Salar, mujhe tumhari madad
chahiye,' usne kaha. Usne muskurahat ko samjhne ki koshish ki. 'Maine ek baar
tumhari jaan bachai thi aur ab mujhe tumhari madad chahiye.' Usne uski baat suni.
'Mujhe Lahore mein kisi se rabta karna hai, lekin main nahi kar sakti.' 'Kyun?' 'Kyunki
koi phone nahi utha raha hai.' 'Is waqt tum...' Usne uska jawaab kata, 'Mujhse bas
suno. Main din mein bhi nahi call kar sakti aur shayad kal raat ko bhi nahi-mujhe
ijazat nahi hai... Main chahti hoon ke tum is number aur address ko note kar lo aur
Jalal Ansar se rabta karo. Use puchna ke kya usne apne walidain se baat ki hai aur
agar ki hai to unki kya rai hai; aur use batana ke mere walidain ne meri shadi ki
taarikh tay kar di hai aur mujhe Lahore se nikalne nahi denge jab tak ke main shadi
na kar loon.'

"Salar bistar pe baith kar apni kambal ghutnon tak utha kar Imama ke phone number
aur address sun raha tha. Usne isay likhna nahi chaha-uski zarurat nahi thi.

"Aur agar mujhe koi jawab na mile to?" usne poocha.

"To phir Lahore ja kar use mil jana," Imama ne bheek mangte hue kaha. "Yeh mere
liye bohat zaroori hai."

"Agar woh mujhse puche ke main is picture mein kaise aa gaya hoon..."

"Usse jo bhi kehna hai kaho-mujhe is se koi dilchaspi nahi hai. Mujhe sirf is musibat
se nikalna hai," usne kaha.

"Kya tumhe behtar nahi lagega ke tum khud usse baat kar lo?" Salar ne kaha.

"Maine tumhe bataya hai ke abhi woh call nahi utha raha, aur shayad mujhe dusri
mauka bhi na mile," usne jawab diya.

Salar chup raha aur usne phone kat diya, mayoos mehsoos kar ke.

Salar ne apna phone band kar diya aur jigsaw ko jodne ki koshish ki: Imama
Hashim... Jalal Ansar... rabta... walidain se baat karo... zabardasti ki shadi. Usne Imama
se nahi poocha tha, lekin usne uske rishte ko samajhne ki koshish ki. Yeh dilchasp
tha ke Imama jaisi larki is tarah ki mamlaat mein shaamil ho sakti thi-aur Salar ke liye
uske nafrat ke bawajood, woh uski madad maang rahi thi.

107
"Yeh aurat kya karne ki koshish kar rahi hai? Mujhe istemal karne ki koshish kar rahi
hai ya phir mujhe fasane ki koshish kar rahi hai?" usne socha.

Woh peechhe murh kar let gaya aur neend ki koshish ki, lekin usko neend nahi aayi.
Usne Waseem aur uske parivar ko kuch saalon se jaanta tha aur Imama ko bhi kabhi
kabhi dekha tha, lekin kabhi bhi gehrai se usse nahi dekha tha. Usko uske baare
mein zyada nahi pata tha. Apne parivar ke mukablay mein, Waseem ke parivar thoda
purani riwayat rakhta tha is liye woh unke ghar itni aasani se nahi ja sakte the jitni
woh doosre doston ke ghar ja sakte the. Usko is baat se koi fark nahi padta tha
kyunki usne samjha ke logon ke apne riwayat hote hain, lekin usko Imama ke jazbat
aur mizaj ka kuch andaza tha.

Magar Imama ki call ne use chonkaya aur woh bechaini se idhar udhar idhar gaya.

"Imama apne kamre mein wapas aayi aur baith gayi. Usse mehsoos ho raha tha ke
uske pait mein uljhan hai-uski zindagi kuch ghanton mein palat gayi thi. Raat bhar
usne neend nahi ki. Wo nashta ke liye bahar nahi aayi-uski bhook gayab ho gayi thi.
Aaround das baje, usne car ki awaazein suni jo porch se nikal gayi. Uske abbu aur
bade bhai unke daftar chale gaye honge-usne unka jaane ka intezar kiya. Hashim
Mubeen ke rawana hone ke aadhe ghante baad hi usne kamre se nikalna shuru kiya.

Uski ammi aur bhabhi lounge mein thi. Imama ne phone ke liye haath badhaya, lekin
uski ammi ne awaz di. 'Tumhare abbu ne kaha hai ke tum phone na istemal karo.'

'Main Asjad ko call kar rahi hoon,' Imama apni ammi ko dekhte hue boli.

'Pichli raat ki wohi bekaar batein use bataogi?' uski ammi ne jawab diya.

'Main tumhare saamne hi usse baat kar rahi hoon... mujhe bolne do. Agar kuch galat
kaha to tum call kaat sakti ho,' Imama ki awaz stable aur shaant thi. Uski itminaan
uski ammi ko rahat pohancha rahi thi.

Imama ne number dial kiya lekin yeh Asjad ka number nahi tha: jo shakhs phone
uthaya woh Jalal tha. Imama ke jism mein ek dard bhara jazba daur gaya.

'Hello, yeh Imama hai,' usne pur sukooni se kaha, Asjad ka naam na liye.

'Tum ne mujhe bina bataye Islamabad kyun chhoda? Main ne hostel ja kar tumse
milne ki koshish ki,' Jalal ne kaha.

'Main kal Islamabad aayi thi, Asjad,' usne jari rakha.

108
'Asjad? Tum kisse baat kar rahi ho?' Jalal hairan tha.

'Baba ne kal raat bataya ke shadi ki tareekh tay ho gayi hai,' Jalal ke liye yeh jaise ke
bijli ka jhatka tha, lekin Imama ne shaant se baat karna jari rakha.

'Mujhe pata karna hai ke tumne apne walidain se baat ki hai ya nahi. Main kisi aur se
shadi nahi karna chahti, is liye unse baat karo aur mujhe batao,' usne kaha.

'Main nahi kar paaya...' Jalal ko achanak yeh samajh aaya ke Imama ke aas paas koi
hai-yahi wajah thi ke usne use Asjad samajh liya.

'Main unse baat karunga. Tum mujhe kab call karogi?' 'Tum hi batao kab,' usne kaha.
'Kal call karna. Shadi ki tareekh kya hai?' uske awaz mein pareshani thi. Usse tareekh
ka pata nahi tha, lekin usne usse ye ashwasan diya ke woh is masle ko apne walidain
ke saath hal kar lega.

Imama ne use shukriya kaha aur alvida kiya. Usko acha laga ke na to uski ammi ne
samjha ke usne Asjad ke ilawa kisi se baat ki thi.

'Tumhari shadi tumhare abbu aur Azam Bhai ne tay ki hai, aur woh tum ya Asjad ke
liye isko postpone nahi karenge,' uski ammi ne zyada dheemi awaz mein kaha.

"'Ammi, mein bas market ja rahi hoon-mujhe apne liye kuch cheezen leni hain,'
Imama ne apni ammi ko jawab na denay ke bajaye kaha.

'Tumhe telephone istemal karne ki ijazat dena ek baat hai, lekin tum ghar se bahar
nahi jaogi. Tumhare abbu ne mujhe aur chowkidar ko bhi mana kiya hai ke tumhe
bahar jane na dein,' uski ammi ne jawab diya.

'Ammi, tum log mujhe aise kyun treat kar rahe ho? Mein ne shadi se inkaar nahi
kiya-bas yeh keh rahi hoon ke mujhe apna house job pura karne ki ijazat di jaye,'
Imama baybas baith gayi.

'Mujhe samajh nahi aata ke tum shadi ko kyun deri kar rahe ho-tareekh agayi hai
lekin yeh rishta tumhari marzi ke khilaf nahi hai,' Imama ki bhabhi ne usse samjhane
ki koshish ki.

'Ghar mein puri raat se tension hai bas tumhari wajah se. Tum mujhe hairan kar rahi
ho, Imama-tum kabhi itni ziddi nahi thi. Tumhe kya ho gaya hai? Kuch hua hai tumhe
Lahore jane ke baad...'"

109
'Aur hamari khwahishon ka koi asar nahi hoga, yeh bata doon. Tumhare abbu ka
faisla ho chuka hai,' uski ammi ne izafa kiya.

'Magar kam az kam tumhe unse baat karne ki koshish to karni chahiye thi,' Imama ne
itiraz kiya.

'Kyun? Agar koi cheez manzoor nahi thi to maine zaroor baat ki hoti-lekin aisa kuch
nahi tha,' uski ammi ne jawab diya.

Gusse mein Imama apne kamre mein wapas chali gayi.

Gair khususiyat se, Salar dair se utha.

Jab usne waqt dekha, to usne college na jane ka faisla kiya. Uske walidain Karachi
mein thay aur woh ghar par akela tha.

Woh TV dekh raha tha jab naukar uska nashta laya. Usse kuch yaad aaya aur usne
nokrani Nasira ko bulaya, jo thodi dair mein aa gayi.

"Mujhe tumse ek kaam hai," usne adhi umr ki aurat se kaha.

"Tumhari beti Waseem ke ghar kaam karti hai, theek? Woh wahan kis waqt jati hai?"
Salar ne remote control neeche rakha aur uski taraf dekha.

"Haan, woh wahan hai... woh abhi wahan hai." Woh uski taraf thoda hairan hokar
dekhti hai.

"Kyun? Kya hua, Salar sahib?"

"Kuch nahi. Mujhe bas yeh mobile usay dena hai. Usse kehna yeh phone Imama ko
de." Salar ne aaram se cell phone pakraya.

Nasira pareshan thi. "Mujhe aap ki baat samajh nahi ayi, sir."

"Yeh phone apni beti ko do aur usse kehna ke yeh Imama ko de de bina kisi ko
bataye," usne dheet pan se kaha.

"Lekin kyun? Aur agar kisi ko pata chal gaya to?"

"Tumhe jaan'ne ki zaroorat nahi," usne tez lehje mein kaha, "aur logon ko tabhi pata
chalega agar tum ya tumhari beti apne bade moonh kholengi. Aur tumhari museebat
hogi agar aisa kiya... lekin agar tum chup raho to yeh raaz rahega aur tumhara bhi
faida hoga."

110
Bina kuch kahe, Nasira ne phone utha liya. Salar ne usay phir se chetavani di. Jab
woh jaane lagi, to usne usay roka. Apne wallet se kuch paise nikal kar usay diye, aur
usne thodi muskurahat ke sath le liye.

Yeh ameer logon ke gharon mein ek mamooli surat-e-haal thi—woh unke bachon ke
raaz jaanti thi aur unhein chupana ek acha tareeqa tha extra paisay kamane ka. Usne
yeh nateeja nikala ke Salar aur Imama ke darmiyan kuch chal raha hai aur yeh cell
phone ek tohfa hai. Woh khud par hairan thi—yeh usne pehle kyun nahi dekha, aur
phir Imama... kya woh shadi nahi kar rahi thi? To phir yeh shararat kyun?

"Aur mujhe lagta tha ke woh kitni achi ladki hai!" Nasira apni is nafrat par hairan thi.

"Abbu, mujhe aapse kuch baat karni hai." Us raat Jalal apne walid ke kamre mein
gaya.

"Haan, andar aao. Kya baat hai?" Unhone files se nazar uthayi.

Jalal ne ek kursi kheench kar baitha, lekin kuch kaha nahi. Ansar Javaid, apne bete ke
pareshan chehre ko dekh kar, samajh gaye ke kuch ghalat hai.

"Mujhe shadi karni hai." Jalal ne baat bina kisi tamheed ke keh di.

"Tumhe kya karni hai?" Yeh baat sunkar unka betaab hona lajmi tha.

Jalal ne apni baat dohrayi.

"Yeh achanak faisla kaise le liya? Kal tak to tum specialization ke liye bahar jana
chahte thay," unhon ne muskurate hue kaha.

"Well... halat aise hain ke mujhe aap se baat karni padi." Unke walid sanjeeda ho
gaye; Jalal ne kuch hichkichahat ke sath thodi der ke baad baat aage badhai.

"Kya aapne Zainab ki dost Imama ko dekha hai?"

"Haan. Kya tum usme dilchaspi rakhte ho?" Unke walid ne poocha aur Jalal ne haan
mein sar hilaya.

"Lekin woh log bohot ameer hain. Aur waise bhi, woh Musalman nahi hain." Ansar
Javaid ka lehja badal gaya.

"Abbu, woh Qadiani hain, lekin usne Islam qabool kar liya hai," Jalal ne samjhaya.

"Kya uske walidain ko pata hai?" unhon ne poocha, aur jab Jalal ka jawab na mein
tha, to unhon ne sakhti se use dant diya.

111
"Kya tumhe lagta hai ke woh yeh rishta maan lenge?"

"Uske walidain ki ijazat ki zaroorat nahi hai—hum bina unke aage badhna chahte
hain," Ansar Javaid ne ghusse se kaha.

"Kya tumhara dimaag kharab ho gaya hai? Main kisi bhi surat mein yeh ijazat nahi de
sakta."

Jalal dilshikasta tha, lekin usne zidd ki. "Maine ikrar kar liya hai..."

"Kya tumne yeh meri ijazat se kiya? Is umar mein log bohot se ikrar karte hain, bohot
se shauq hote hain, lekin iska yeh matlab nahi ke tum apni zindagi barbaad kar lo.
Main jaanta hoon ke us family ke rishte bohot mazboot hain—woh humein tabah kar
denge agar unhein pata chal gaya."

Jalal ne apne walid se iltija ki lekin Ansar Javaid is baat par musir thay ke woh apne
bete ke liye shadi ke plans tab tak nahi sochenge jab tak woh apni specialization
mukammal nahi kar leta. Jab Jalal ne saaf saaf keh diya ke Imama uski akeli choice
hai, to unhon ne mashwara diya ke usay apne walidain se is bare mein baat karni
chahiye: agar woh maan jayein, to Ansar Javaid bhi apni dua denge.

"Abbu, please uski problem samajhne ki koshish karein—woh bohot achi ladki hai aur
woh Musalman se shadi karna chahti hai, lekin uske walidain uske faisle ko nahi
maanenge. Use hamari madad chahiye." Jalal ne jaan bujh kar uski Asjad se mangni
ka zikr nahi kiya.

"Mujhe doosron ke masail mein dilchaspi nahi aur na tumhe honi chahiye. Tumhe
apne mustaqbil ke bare mein sochna chahiye. Bohot logon ke masail hote hain aur
unhe madad chahiye hoti hai—kya tum sabki madad kar sakte ho? Aur waise bhi,
unka aur hamara status bohot mukhtalif hai. Main unki dushmani mol nahi lunga aur
na apne logon mein apni izzat kho dunga ek gair-Musalman ko apne khandan mein
la kar."

"Maine kaha na ke usne Islam qabool kar liya hai." Jalal ke lehje mein chirchira pan
tha. "Yeh humse milne se pehle ki baat hai."

"Kya tum gawah thay?" unke walid mutma'in nahi thay. "Agar yeh sach bhi hai, to
usay apne masail hal karne chahiyein; woh tumhe kyun involve karna chahti hai? Sirf
tab agar woh apne walidain ko itminan dilati hai aur woh maan jate hain, to tumhari
walida aur main tumhari Imama se shadi par ghour karenge. Hum ek bhaag kar anay

112
wali bahu nahi chahte." Kisi bhi qisam ki guzarish ya mazhabi jazbe ka hawala Jalal
ke walid ko munqati nahi kar saka.

"Mazhab ko is mein na ghaseeto! Tum akelay Musalman nahi ho jo hal nikaalna

zaroori hai. Haqiqat pasand bano. Ye theek hai ke apni akhlaqi zimmedari ka ehsaas
hai lekin tumhara farz hai ke apne walidain ki khwahishat ka ehtram karo. Tum par
lazim hai ke tum humein maana karo."

"Farz karo tum usse shadi kar lete ho, phir kya? Tum chhay mahinon ya us se kam
mein bahar chale jaoge aur woh ghar par reh jayegi. Main tumhare behan bhaiyon ki
taleem, tumhari bahar ki taleem aur uski taleem ka kharcha bardasht nahi kar sakta,"
unhon ne baat jari rakhi. "Woh kitni dair tak ghar par baithegi? Aur phir, agar uske
ghar walay hum par case kar dein to? Humein saza mil sakti hai aur hum jail bhi ja
sakte hain. Tumhari behan ka kya hoga phir?"

Jalal ke paas apne walid ke jawab nahi thay. "Thanda socho, aqalmandi se, jazbati
hone ke bajaye," unke walid ne dohraya. "Agar uske walidain tumhe nahi mante, to
usay kisi aur se shadi karne do. Tumhein pata chalega ke uske haq mein tumhara
faisla kitna nuqsan deh ho sakta hai.

------------------------------------------------------------------

"Baji, kya main aapka kamra saaf karoon?" naukrani ne darwaze par dastak dete hue
Imama se poocha.

"Nahi! Chali jao," Imama ne use hatha diya. Naukrani, wahan se jaane ke bajaye,
darwaza band kar ke Imama ke samne khadi ho gayi.

"Kya maine tumhe nahi kaha tha ke...?" Imama ne shuru kiya, lekin uske alfaz galay
mein atak gaye. Naukrani ne apni chader se ek cell phone nikaala. Imama hairan reh
gayi.

"Baji, yeh meri maan ne mujhe diya hai. Usne kaha ke aapke parosi, Salar saab, ne
yeh aapke liye bheja hai." Usne jaldi se phone Imama ko diya, jo usne jhat se le liya.
Uska dil tez dharakne laga.

113
"Suno, tumhe kisi ko nahi batana ke tum mere liye phone layi ho ya kuch aur,"
Imama ne use chetavani di.

"Nahi, Baji, fikar mat karein—main kisi ko nahi bataungi. Agar aapko Salar saab ke
liye kuch bhejna ho, to mujhe de dena."

"Nahi, mere paas bhejne ke liye kuch nahi. Tum jao," usne apne hosh sambhalte hue
kaha. Imama ne jaldi se kamra band kar diya jab naukrani chali gayi. Bari fikr ke sath,
usne phone drawer se nikaala aur Jalal ka number dial karne lagi, kyunki woh usse
tafseel se baat karna chahti thi. Jalal ki walida ne phone uthaya.

"Beta, mujhe afsos hai ke Jalal ghar par nahi hai aur woh raat ko wapas aayega. Tum
Zainab se baat kar sakti ho. Kya main use bulau?"

"Nahi, shukriya, Auntie! Main thodi jaldi mein hoon. Main baad mein Zainab se baat
kar lungi. Maine Jalal se kuch kitaabein maangi thi aur unke bare mein maloomat
chahiye thi. Main phir call karungi," Imama ne kaha aur phone rakh diya.

Imama ne dopahar ko kuch nahi khaya. Woh raat ka intezar kar rahi thi jab Jalal
wapas ghar aayega aur woh usse baat kar sakti thi. Shaam ko, naukrani ne usay
bataya ke Asjad ka phone aaya hai. Jab woh lounge mein gayi, to sirf Waseem wahan
baitha tha. Usne use mukammal taur par nazarandaz kiya aur phone ki taraf gayi. Jab
usne phone uthaya, to doosri taraf se Asjad ki awaaz sunai di. Usay ghussa aa gaya,
halan ke usay pata tha ke is match ko tay karne mein uske walid ka haath zyada tha
na ke Asjad ka. Asjad uski khairiyat maloom kar raha tha. Woh ghusse se paagal ho
gayi.

"Asjad, tumne mujhe dhoka kyun diya?"

"Kaisa dhoka, Imama?"

"Shadi ki tareekh tay karna... tumne mujhse baat kyun nahi ki?" usne gusse se
poocha.

"Kya uncle ne tumse is bare mein baat nahi ki?"

"Unhone ki thi aur maine unse kaha tha ke main abhi shadi nahi karna chahti."

"Jo bhi ho, ab dair ho chuki hai... aur kya farq padta hai agar tum ab shadi karo ya
kuch saal baad?" Asjad ne be-parwai se jawab diya.

114
"Asjad! Chahe tumhe farq padta ho ya nahi, mujhe to padta hai. Main apni parhai
mukammal karne se pehle shadi nahi karna chahti... Aur tum yeh bohot achi tarah se
jaante ho."

"Haan, mujhe pata hai, lekin is puri surat-e-haal mein main kahin bhi shamil nahi
hoon. Tumhe bata doon ke yeh shadi Uncle ke israr par tay ho rahi hai."

"Tum ise rukwa do."

"Tum kya keh rahi ho, Imama. Main ise kaise rukwa sakta hoon?" Asjad ne hairan
hokar kaha.

"Asjad, please!"

"Imama, main yeh nahi kar sakta. Meri position samajhne ki koshish karo. Aur phir,
shadi ke cards bhi chap chuke hain, dono khandan shadi ki tayari kar rahe hain aur..."

Imama ne achanak phone ka receiver patak diya. Waseem ne poori guftagu mein
mudakhlat nahi ki thi. Usne chup chaap suna, lekin jab Imama ne phone rakha, to
Waseem bola, "Tum bilkul bekar mein is puri baat ka itna bara masla bana rahi ho.
Aakhir tumhe Asjad se shadi to karni hi hai, to phir apne liye problems kyun paida
kar rahi ho? Waise bhi, Baba tum se bohot naraaz hain."

"Maine tumse tumhari rai nahi maangi to apne kaam se kaam rakho. Tumne mujhe
bohot dukh diya hai!" Imama ghusse se apne kamre ki taraf chali gayi.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Us shaam bhi woh apne kamre se bahar nahi nikli, lekin woh khana khaya jo naukar
ne uske liye laaya tha.

Gyaarah baje ke qareeb, usne Jalal ko phone kiya jo khud hi phone utha liya. Shayad
usse uski call ka intezaar tha.

Kuch chhote se munasib baaton ke baad, Jalal seedha mudde par aaye.
"Imama, thodi der pehle maine Abbu se baat ki thi," Jalal bola.

"Phir?"
Kuch lamho ke baad, Jalal ne kaha, "Abbu hamari shaadi ke haq mein nahi hain."

115
Imama ka dil dubara gir gaya. "Lekin tum to keh rahe the ke unhe koi aitraaz nahi
hoga," usne kaha.

"Haan, mujhe bhi yahi lag raha tha, lekin unke bohat se shubaat hain. Unko lagta hai
ke hamare parivaaron ke samajik star mein bohat farq hai... aur unhe tumhare
parivaar ke baare mein pata hai, aur unka sabse bada aitraaz yeh hai ke tum apne
maa-baap ki marzi ke khilaaf mujhse shaadi karna chahti ho. Is tarah, unhe dar hai ke
tumhara parivaar humare liye mushkilat paida kar dega."

Woh apne kaano mein mobile rakhe, be bewajah baithe the, Jalal ki baaton ko sunti
hui.

"Kya tumne unhe manane ki koshish nahi ki?" Lambi khamoshi ke baad, Jalal ne
kaha, "Maine apni poori koshish ki. Unhone kaha ke agar tumhara parivaar raazi ho
jaye to woh bhi razi ho jaenge, tumhare parivaar ki mazhab ki koi ehmiyat nahi hai,
lekin unki marzi ke bagair unke liye hamari shaadi qubool nahi hai."

"Aur tum... tum kya kehte ho?"

"Imama, mujhe samajh nahi aa raha," Jalal bechaini se bola.

"Jalal, mere maa-baap kabhi bhi raazi nahi honge ke main tumse shaadi karoon. Agar
maine tumse shaadi ki to puri samaj mere maa-baap ko boycott kar degi aur unhe
bardasht nahi hoga. Aur phir mere aur Asjad ke rishte ki baat bhi hai."

Jab Jalal bar bar koshish karne ko kehta raha, Imama ne kaha, "Maine apne abbu ko
bataya ke main kisi aur se mohabbat karti hoon, to usne mujhe pehle hi thappar
maar diya hai. Agar unhe pata chala ke tum hamare mazhab se nahi ho, to woh
mujhe maar denge."

Usne Jalal se guzarish ki ke apne abbu ko phir se manane ki koshish kare. Jalal razi
ho gaya lekin bohat pareshan tha.

Imama Jalal se baat kar ke mayoos ho gayi thi: usne kabhi nahi socha tha ke uske
abbu unki shaadi ke khilaaf aayenge.

Mobile apne haath mein, woh soch mein doob gayi.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

116
"Teri Abbu ne is baare mein mujh se pehle hi baat ki hai aur unka bilkul sahi hai:
tumhe apne aap ko khatre mein daalne ka koi haq nahi hai," Jalal ki maa ne jab uss
se baat kiya.

"Main samajh nahi sakta ke kis baat se itna khatarnaak ho gaya hai—tum bekaar
mein pareshan ho," usne uska jawab diya.

"Jalal, tum itne masoom ho ke bewaqoofi ki had kar di! Tumhare Abbu ko Imama ke
parivaar (‫ )خاندان‬aur unke baare mein sab kuch pata hai. Tumhe kya lagta hai—ke woh
tumhe shaadi ke baad akela chhod denge ya humein tang nahi karenge?" Jalal ne jari
rakha.

"Hum shaadi ko raaz rakheinge—kisi ko pata nahi chalega. Main apni specialization
ke liye chala jaunga aur phir thodi der baad Imama ko bulaaunga," usne kaha.

"Mujhe koi wajah nahi nazar aati ke hum Imama ke liye itna risk uthaayein. Aur tu
jaanta hai ke hum parivaar ke bahar shaadi nahi karte—bohot si ladkiyan hain jo tere
liye munasib hain. Agar mujhe teri pasand pata hoti, to main tujhe kahin aur fix kar
deti," usne gusse mein kaha.

"Yeh koi farq nahi padta ke tumhe usse pasand hai: zaroori hai ke humein kya lagta
hai, aur tere Abbu aur mere liye Imama ya uske parivaar pasand nahi hain," usne
kaha.

Usne apni maa ko manane ki poori koshish ki—ke Imama ko wo Zainab ki dost ke
roop mein dekhi hai, ke Imama ne apne mazhab badalne mein bada qadam uthaya
hai aur usko saath aur samajh ki zaroorat hai...

"To phir, usne ek bada faisla liya hai yeh matlab nahi ke usse kisi aur ko khatre mein
daalna chahiye. Main uske faisley ko samajhti hoon, woh sahi kiya hai, lekin humare
bhi apne masley hain," usne zyada narmi ke saath kaha.

"Mantakhi hai: tumhe apne naye peshe mein khud ko sthapit karne ke liye bahar
jaana hai, ek din apna hospital kholna hai. Ek achhe parivaar mein shaadi karne se
tumhari maqsad mein madad milegi—tumhe pata nahi ke kitni rishteyaan aa chuki
hain tumhare liye."

117
"Imama se shaadi karke tumhe kya milega? Uske parivaar usse boycott karenge aur
yeh sab ke liye ek samajik badnaam ho jayega. Tumne future ke baare mein socha
hai—tumhare bachon ne tumse kya sawaal kiya to?"

Jalal ki maa ne gambheer awaaz mein kaha aur usne bina kisi rok tok ke suna,
nirantar. Uske chehre se samajhna mushkil tha ke uske alfaz ka koi asar hua hai ya
nahi.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Imama ne agle raat dobara Jalal ko phone kiya: usne call receive ki. Uske alfaz ne
usse mayoosiyat mein daal diya jab usne bataya ke usne apni maa se baat ki hai aur
woh is rishte ke khilaaf apne abbu se bhi zyada hai. "Jab maine usse tumhari faisla ke
baare mein bataya, to usne kaha ke yeh tumhara masla hai, hamara nahi," Jalal ki
seedhi baat ne Imama ke dil ko chhoo liya.

"Maine apni poori koshish ki hai, Imama, lekin meri maa kabhi bhi raazi nahi hogi,"
Jalal ne dheere se tasleem kar diya. "Kya tum unki marzi ke bina mujhse shaadi kar
sakti ho?" usne besabri se poocha.

"Nahi, main nahi kar sakta—main unse itna pyaar karta hoon ke unhe dukh nahi
dena chahta, unke ijaazat ke bagair yeh qadam nahi utha sakta," usne jawaab diya.

Usne usse guzarish ki ke woh usse is halat se bachaye, uski zindagi bachaye, lekin
uska jawaab sakht raha.

"Main apne maa-baap ki baat nahi taal sakta. Mujhe dabao mat do," usne kaha.

Imama ki nervs toot gayi thi. Kabhi usne apne aap ko itna niche nahi giraya tha.
Usne usse guzarish kiya ke nikah chupke se karwa lein aur phir woh kisi aur se bhi
shaadi kar le, jo bhi uske maa-baap ki marzi ho—usse koi aitraaz nahi hoga.

"Imama, bachpana chhodo! Tumhe pata hona chahiye ke agar meri maa-baap ko
pata chala to kya hoga: woh mujhe ghar se nikal denge. Phir hum kya karenge?"

"Hum mehnat karenge, kuch karenge, hum zinda rahenge," usne kaha.

118
"Kya yeh 'kuch' mujhe bahar padhai karne ke liye paisa dega?" uska tone tez aur tanz
karda tha. Uske paas koi jawab nahi tha.

"Nahi, Imama, main apne sapne, apne iraadon ko tumhari ya kisi aur ke liye qurbaan
nahi kar sakta. Main tumse pyaar karta hoon, haan, lekin main tumhari tarah itna
jazbati nahi ho sakta. Mujhe phir mat call karna kyunki main is mamle ko peeche
chhod raha hoon. Tumhari halat par mujhe afsos hai lekin tumhe apne masle khud
hal karna hoga—main tumhari madad nahi kar sakta. Khuda hafiz," Jalal ne phone
kaat diya.

Yeh waqt tha 10.50 p.m. Imama ko aisa laga jaise uska saara jahan uske charon taraf
ud gaya ho. Kaun usse behtar jaanta tha, is lamhe mein, ke sab kuch haath se nikal
jaane ka dukh kya hota hai? Uski dimaag sunn pad gayi thi, uski rooh toot gayi thi:
woh apne bistar par ek bejaan murti ki tarah baithi rahi. "Mujhe Baba ko sab kuch
bata dena chahiye...mere paas aur koi raasta nahi hai? Shayad woh mujhe ghar se
nikal de—kam se kam, main is jagah se aazad ho jaungi."

------------------------------------------------------------

"Main Asjad se shaadi nahi karna chahti, isliye shaadi ke liye shopping ka sawaal hi
nahi uthta," Imama ne apni maa ko tayyar tone mein bataya.

"Pehle shaadi ke khayal ke khilaaf thi, ab Asjad se shaadi ke khilaaf-tumhe kya karna
hai?" uski maa pareshan thi.

"Mujhe Asjad se shaadi nahi karni," Imama ne kaha.

"To phir kisse se shaadi karna chahti ho?" Hashim Mubeen darwaze mein khade the.
Shayad unhone Imama aur uski maa ke beech ki baat suni thi jab wo corridor mein
the. Unka gussa control mein nahi tha.

Imama chup thi.

"Batao, kaun hai woh jise tum se shaadi karni hai? Zubaan kaat gayi hai kya? Asjad se

119
kyun nahi karni chahti? Tumhara kya masla hai? Jawab do mujhe!" wo jhijhak ke
saath chillane lage.

Imama ne apne aap ko sambhala aur bahaduri se bola, "Baba, shaadi zindagi bhar ka
faisla hota hai. Mujhe apni marzi se shaadi karni hai."

"Kal tak to Asjad tumhari marzi thi," unhone taunt diya karke.

"Woh kal ki baat thi, aaj ki nahi," usne jawab diya.

"To ab kyun nahi? Batao, ab kyun nahi?" unhone buland awaaz mein poocha.

Kuch palon ke liye, Imama ne bina kuch kahe use dekha. Phir usne kaha, "Baba, main
ek Musalman se shaadi karna chahti hoon."

Hashim Mubeen ko aisa laga jaise aasmaan zameen mil gayi ho.

"Tumne kya kaha?" uncertainty ke saath unhone poocha.

"Main non-Muslim se shaadi nahi karna chahti kyunki maine Islam mein mazhab
badal liya hai," usne saaf-saaf kaha.

Kuch minutes ke liye kamre mein absolute khamoshi thi. Salma shock ki halat mein
thi aur Hashim Mubeen...woh patthar ban gaye the lag raha tha. Woh Imama ko
bebaak nazron se dekh rahe the, jaise unhe saans lene ka tareeqa bhool gaya ho.
Unhone apne ghar mein aise ek mushkil halat ka samna kabhi nahi socha tha, aur
woh bhi apne sabse pyaare bachche ke haathon. Uske zindagi ek toofan mein chali
ja rahi thi.

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"Tum kya bakwaas kar rahe ho?" Gussa usme se upar uth raha tha jaise ek lehar.
"Tumhe pata hai tum kya keh rahe ho, Baba. Tum acche se jaante ho," usne kaha.

"Tum bilkul pagal ho gayi ho!" usne cheekha.

Imama ne chup chap apna sir hila diya; usse uske dimaag ka halat pata tha.

"Kya matlab hai tumhara? Humne tumhe is duniya mein kyun laaya...ke tumhe...
tum..." Usne alfaz dhoondne ki koshish ki.

"Tumhare sochne ka matlab yeh nahi hai, Baba," usne kaha.

"Yahi to hai... kya tum mujhe bewakoof samajhti ho?" Hashim Mubeen munh se
jhaag nikal raha tha.

"Tum kisi bhi shakhs se meri shaadi karwa do. Main koi shikayat nahi karoongi bas
woh tumhare mazhab ka na ho. Kam se kam, phir tum keh nahi sakte ke maine yeh
sab kisi khaas shakhs ke liye kiya hai," usne kaha.

Uske walid ka gussa had se zyada tha: sirf ek chhoti si ladki aur usse batate hue ke
woh kya karna chahiye. Usse kya pata tha?

"Main bohot kuch jaanti hoon, Baba. Main bees saal ki hoon; mujhe tumhari
rahnumai ki zaroorat nahi hai. Mujhe pata hai ke tumhara mazhab humare parivaar
ko bohot fayda pohanchaya hai," usne himmat se aur sambhalkar awaaz mein kaha.

"Tumhare gunahon ke liye tumhe maaf nahi kiya jayega!" usne usse daant diya.

Imama ko usse afsos aaya-woh jahan khada tha, woh dozakh mein khada tha aur

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usse uski daraun dhamkiyan de raha tha. Usse us aadmi par afsos aaya jiska aankhon
par patti bandhi huyi thi, jiska dil bandh gaya tha. Usse us aadmi par afsos aaya jiska
rooh ko pees diya gaya tha, jo gumrahi aur galatfahmiyon ke sabse oonche darje par
khada tha.

"Tu gumraah ho gayi hai... kuch kitabon ko padh kar..." Hashim Mubeen kehna shuru
kiya, lekin Imama ne uski baat kat di.

"Tum mujhse is masle par bahas nahi kar sakte. Mujhe sab pata hai-maine research
kiya hai aur sab verify kiya hai. Tum mujhe kya bata sakte ho ya samjha sakte ho?
Tum apna rasta chunte ho aur main apna. Tum jo sahi samajhte ho woh karte ho aur
main jo sahi samajhti hoon woh karti hoon. Tumhara mazhab tumhara apna mamla
hai aur mera mazhab mera apna. Kya yeh behtar nahi hai ke tum meri faisla ko ek
jaan-boojh kar kiya gaya amal samjho, balki ek jazbaati qadam?" Imama ne shaan aur
wazehgi se kaha, lekin uska tawazun uske walid ko aur bhi gussa dilaya.

"Tumhe apne mazhab badalne ki ijazat dena... kya tumhe pata hai iska asar kya
hoga? Samajhdaar log mujhe boykott karenge aur main khaali haath ho jaunga. Hum
sadak par aa jayenge. Nahi, Imama, yeh mumkin nahi hai! Tumhari dimaag kharaab
ho gayi hai lekin mera nahi kharaab hua hai. Tum jo mazhab chaho usko apnao, lekin
tum Asjad se shaadi karogi aur unke parivaar ka hissa banogi. Is ghar se chali jao aur
unke saath raho-shayad phir tumhe apni zindagi ka raasta pata chal jaye," Hashim
Mubeen kamre se bahar chale gaye.

Jaise hi unka raasta khali hua, Salma ne Imama par gussa nikaal diya. "Agar mujhe
pata hota ke tum hamare sar par itna bada kalank laogi, to shayad tumhe paida
hone se pehle hi mar dalti. Tumhe lagta hai ke tumhe hum sab ke saamne sharminda
karne ka jazba hai."

Imama ne usse khamosh dekha.

Salma ne apni shikayaten jaari rakhi, phir chale gayi. Lagbhag ek ghante baad Salma

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ke jaane ke baad darwaze par kisi ne darwaza khatkhataya-woh Asjad the. Imama ne
unhe yahan dekhne ki umeed nahi ki thi. Unke chehre par chinta likhi thi. Hashim
Mubeen ne unhe bulaaya tha aur sab kuch unhe bataya tha.

"Kya ho raha hai, Imama? Tum aisa kyun kar rahi ho?" unhone andar aate hue
puchha.

"Asjad, agar tumhe bataya gaya hai ke maine kya kiya hai, to shayad tumhe bhi pata
hoga ke maine kyun kiya hai," usne kaha.

"Tumhe pata nahi hai tumne kya kiya hai," usne kaha, ek kursi khich kar baith gaye.

"Main apne amal se waqif hoon," Imama ne unki baat kat di.

"Tumhe kya matlab hai jazbaati hokar aisi faisley le lena?..."

"Mujhe mere amal ki poori jankari hai. Main chaar saalon se Islam ki tajziyaat kar rahi
hoon, aur yeh koi chhoti moti cheez nahi hai," usne kaha.

"Tumhe shayad kisi ke khyalaat mein fasaya gaya hoga. Tumne..."

"Nahi, mujhe kisi se influence nahi hua. Main bas woh chhod diya jo galat samajhti
thi aur woh liya jo sahi tha, bas itna hi," Asjad ke paas koi argument nahi tha. Usne
apna sir hila diya aur kaha, "Theek hai-tumhara mazhab tumhara apna mamla hai,
lekin tum hamari shaadi ke khilaaf kyun ho? Shaadi hone do."

"Ham dono ki shaadi nahi ho sakti. Yeh sahi nahi hoga," Asjad hairan ho gaye.

"Kyun? Kya main Musalman nahi hoon?" Jab Imama ne haan mein jawab diya, to
Asjad ne zor se kaha, "Chacha sahi keh rahe the- tumhe brainwash kiya gaya hai!"

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"To phir tumhe aisi ladki se shaadi kyun karni chahiye? Tumhe apne liye kisi aur ko
dhoondna behtar hoga," usne jawab diya.

"Main tumhari zindagi ko barbaad hone nahi dena chahta," usne kaha.

"Meri zindagi barbaad?!" usne hassi bhari awaaz mein kaha. "Kis zindagi ki baat kar
rahe ho? Woh zindagi jisme log duniyavi daulat ke liye apne imaan ko bech dete
hain?"

"Aapna tarz-e-amal theek rakho! Tumhe kis tarah se bol rahe ho, jaise kisi ke baare
mein jo chahe bol do," Asjad ne use daanta.

"Main us insaan ka samman nahi kar sakta jo logon ko gumraah kar raha hai," usne
sakhti se kaha.

"Tumhari umar mein log apni shanakht ke baare mein confused ho jaate hain. Jab
tum bare ho jaoge, tab samajhoge ke hum sahi raste par hain ya galat par," Asjad ne
apni awaaz ko shaant kiya aur use samjhane ki koshish ki.

"Agar tum logon ko lagta hai ke main galat hoon, to mujhe akela chhod do na. Main
kyun bandi banaya gaya hoon yahan? Agar tumhe yakeen hai ke tumhara mazhab
sahi hai, to mujhe apni raah pe chalne do..." Imama ne kaha.

"Agar koi itna qareebi apne aap ko tabah karne par tula hua hai, aur woh bhi ek
ladki, to hum use apne aap ko tabah hone ke liye chhod nahi sakte. Imama, is
maamle ki nazakat ko samjho-tumhari family aur unki tamam cheezein tumhari wajah
se khatre mein hain," Asjad ne kaha.

"Mujhse kuch bhi khatre mein nahi hai... phir bhi, mujhe kyun farq padega? Kyun
main unke mazhab ke liye jahannum mein jaun ya apne mazhab ko unke liye

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dhajjiyan udaun? Asjad, main tum sab ke saath is gumrahi ke raste par nahi chal
sakti-mujhe apne marzi ke raaste par jaane do," Imama ki awaaz sakht thi.

"Aur agar tum mujhe majboor karke shaadi karwa bhi loge, to tumhe iska koi faida
nahi hoga: main tumhari asli biwi nahi banungi. Main tum par wafadar nahi rahungi.
Main jab mauka milega, bhag jaungi... tum mujhe kitna bhi qaid kar lo ya rakho, kab
tak? Aur main tumhare bachchon ko bhi le jaungi-tum unhe kabhi nahi dekh paoge,"
usne unke future ka daraawana manzar paint karne ki koshish ki.

"Agar main tumhara jagah hota, to kabhi bhi Imama Hashim jaisi ladki se shaadi nahi
karta: yeh bilkul nuqsan hoga, aur bewaqoofi ki inteha. Tumhe abhi bhi mauka hai
inkaar karne ka-tumhara future khatre mein hai. Asjad, iss rishte se mana kar do;
Uncle Azam ko bata do ke tum mujhse shaadi nahi karna chahte. Ya phir kahin chale
jao aur jab yeh maamla sulajh jaye tab wapas aao."

"'Mujhe yeh bakwas mashwara dena band karo: Mein tumhe kabhi nahi chhodungi.
Aur na hi mein is rishte se hatne ya ghar se bhaagne wali hoon. Tum hi wo shakhs
ho jisse mein shadi karungi. Ab yeh hamare ghar ki izzat aur naam ka sawal hai. Agar
tumhe pata hota ke agar yeh shadi radd ho gayi to humein kitni nuqsanat uthani
parengi, to tum aise pagal khayalat nahi laate. Biwi banne ki ya ghar se bhaagne ki
baat baad mein dekhi jayegi. Mein tumhari tabiyat ache se janti hoon-tumhe bekaar
mein tang karne ki koi adat nahi hai-khas tor par mujhe jise tum pyaar karte ho,'
Asjad apne aap se khush hokar khatam kiya.

'Tum ghalat samajh rahe ho, Asjad. Mein kabhi tumse pyaar nahi kiya aur khas tor
par jab se mein ne Islam qabool kiya hai, mein ne apna rishta tumse khatam kar diya
hai. Ab tum meri zindagi mein kahin bhi nahi ho. Agar mein apne ghar walon ke liye
masla ban sakti hoon, to tumhe aur tumhare ghar walon ko kya masail aane wale
hain-apne aap ko bewaqoof mat samjho. Hum saath nahi ho sakte: mein tumhare
ghar walon ka hissa nahi ban sakti,' usne tham kar kaha, phir jaari rahi.

'Hum mein bara faasla hai, Asjad-hum itne door hain ke mein tumhe dekh bhi nahi

125
sakti. Aur mein is faasle ko mitane ke liye tayyar nahi hoon. Mein sirf tumse shadi
karne ke liye tayyar nahi hoon,' Imama ne kaha.

Asjad ke rang badal gaye jab usne Imama ko dekha aur suna.

'Kya tum meri madad kar sakte ho?'

'Kya tumhe lagta hai ke mein is waqt kya kar raha hoon?' Salar ne poocha.

Doosri taraf se khamoshi thi; phir usne kaha, 'Kya tum Lahore ja kar Jalal se mil sakte
ho?'

Salar ne palkein thodi der ke liye band kar li. 'Kyun?'

Imama ki awaz kam thi, aansuon se bhari hui. 'Mere liye uski taraf se guzarish karne
ke liye-ke mujhse shadi kar le. Agar hamesha ke liye nahi, to kam az kam temporary
tor par-mujhe is ghar se nikalna hai aur uske bina mujhe yeh mumkin nahi hai. Bas
use keh dena ke nikah kar le.'

'Tum usse phone par contact mein ho, to phir khud hi kyun nahi kehti usse?' Salar ne
aloo ke crisps khaate hue kaha.

'Maine kiya,' usne zyada aansuon se jawab diya. 'Usne mana kar diya.'

'Bohat afsos hai,' Salar ne kaha.

'To yeh to ek tarfa mohabbat hai.'

'Nahi.'

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'To phir usne kyun mana kar diya?'

'Tumhe is se kya lena dena?' uski narazgi thi.

'Phir mujhe usse baat karne ke liye itna door kyun jaana hai? Tum use dobara call kar
sakti ho.'

'Magar woh mujhse baat nahi karta; woh phone nahi uthata aur hospital mein kisi se
baat nahi karta. Woh mujh se duri bana ke rakhta hai.'

'To phir tum uske peeche kyun bhaag rahe ho? Clearly, woh tumhe pyaar nahi karta.'

'Tum is baat ko samajh nahi sakte-bas meri madad kar do. Wahan ja kar usse meri
halat batao-woh mujh se aisa nahi kar sakta.'

'Aur agar woh mujhe entertain karne se inkaar kar de-phir?'

'Tum phir bhi koshish kar sakte ho-kam az kam ek baar. Shayad is musibat se koi
raasta nikal aaye.'

Salar ke honton par ek muskurahat aayi. Use Imama ki mushkilat bohat dilchasp lag
rahi thi. Woh apna phone band kar ke uski musibat par sochne laga jab ke crisps kha
raha tha. Usko Imama ki situation mein aur gehraai se shamil hona lag raha tha-yeh
uski zindagi ka sab se bada adventure lag raha tha: pehle Imama ko cell phone
smuggle karna, ab uske boyfriend Jalal se contact karna. Imama ne Salar ko Jalal ke
ghar aur hospital ke bare mein tafseel se bataya tha. Ab Salar soch raha tha ke woh
Jalal ko kya kahay ga.

----------------------------------------------------------------

127
Salar ne apne samne khare admi ko ghoor se dekha. Woh mayoos tha-ek aam
chehra aur jism, aur motadil qad; shayad bina dari ke woh behtar lagta. Salar ki
khoobsurti, lamba qad aur athletic jismani shakal use aurton ke liye bohot dilkash
banate the, lekin yeh shakhs in faiday se mehroom tha. Salar sochne laga ke Imama
ko is admi mein kya pasand aya tha. Usne socha ke woh usse zyada bewaqoof hai
jitna usne pehle samjha tha.
"Main Jalal Ansar hoon. Tum mujhse milna chahte thay?"
"Salar Sikandar," Salar ne apna haath barhaya.
"Maaf karna, main tumhe pehchana nahi."
"Zaroori nahi, hum pehli baar mil rahe hain." Salar aspatal aaya tha, Jalal ko
dhoondte hue. Thodi madad se, usne usse dhoond liya aur ab duty room ke samne
uske sath tha.
"Kahin baith kar baat kar sakte hain?" Salar ne pucha.
"Kis bare mein baat karni hai?" Jalal kuch pareshan nazar aya.
"Imama ke bare mein."
" Tum kaun ho?" Jalal ka chehra badal gaya.
"Main uska dost hoon." Jalal ne baghair kuch kahe Salar ko dekha aur woh chalne
lage.
"Meri gari parking lot mein hai-chalo wahan chalte hain," Salar ne mashwara diya.
Jab tak woh gari tak pohanche, unhone ek lafz bhi nahi bola.
"Main Islamabad se aaya hoon," Salar ne shuru kiya. "Imama ne chaha ke main tumse
baat karoon."
"Imama ne mujhe kabhi tumhare bare mein nahi bataya," Jalal ne ajeeb andaaz mein
kaha. "Tum kab se usse jante ho?"
"Almost bachpan se...hamare ghar paados mein hain. Hum bohot achay dost hain."
Salar nahi jaanta tha ke usne yeh baat kyun ki. Shayad woh Jalal ke chehre par aati
jati muskurahat ko dekh kar maze le raha tha-usne uske nafrat bhari nazar ko
mehsoos kiya.
"Maine Imama se tafseel se baat ki hai. Mujhe nahi lagta ke iske baad kuch baqi reh
gaya hai baat karne ko," Jalal ne be-zaroori andaaz mein kaha.
"Imama chahti hai ke tum usse shaadi karo." Salar ki awaz bhi utni hi be-ehsaas thi,
jaise ek newsreader ki hoti hai.

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"Maine usse apna faisla bata diya hai."
"Woh chahti hai ke tum is faisle par dobara ghoor karo."
"Yeh mumkin nahi."
"Woh us ghar mein qaid hai, apne walidain, apne khandan ki hirasat mein. Agar tum
usse hamesha ke liye nahi apna sakte, toh woh chahti hai ke tum temporary
commitment karke usse ek bailiff ki madad se chura lo."
"Yeh kaise mumkin hai jab woh qaid hai?" Jalal ne sawal kiya aur Salar ne kaha ke
nikah phone par ho sakta hai.
"Nahi, main itna risk nahi le sakta-main aise mamlaat mein nahi padna chahta. Mere
walidain kabhi is baat ko nahi maanenge aur woh waise bhi usse kabhi accept nahi
karenge."

Jalal ki nazar Salar ke ponytail par tiki hui thi-jis tarah Salar ne usse napasand kiya
tha, Jalal bhi Salar ko napasand kar raha tha.

"Usne yeh temporary arrangement mein jane ke liye tayar hai," Salar ne phir se kaha,
"taake woh apne ghar se nikal sake. Tum baad mein usse talaq de sakte ho, agar
chaho to."
"Mujhe lagta hai ke maine saaf keh diya hai ke main uski madad nahi kar sakta. Tum
kyun nahi usse shaadi kar lete agar yeh sirf temporary arrangement hai? Aakhir tum
uske dost ho, nahi?" Jalal ne teekhi nazar ke sath kaha. "Agar tum Islamabad se
Lahore uski madad ke liye aa sakte ho, to yeh bhi kar sakte ho."
"Usne mujhse shaadi karne ko nahi kaha, isliye maine is bare mein nahi socha," Salar
ne kandhe uchkate hue kaha. "Waise bhi, woh tumse mohabbat karti hai, mujhse
nahi."
"Mohabbat ka temporary shaadi se kya lena dena? Tum baad mein usse talaq de
sakte ho." Jalal ne ek hal bataya.
"Shukriya, main tumhari salahiyat us tak pohcha dunga," Salar ne sanjeedgi se jawab
diya.
"Aur agar yeh mumkin nahi hai, to Imama ko kahna ke woh koi aur raasta dhoond le.
Haqeeqat mein, tum kisi akhbar ke daftar jao aur unhein uski mushkilat ke bare mein
batao... kaise uske walidain use zabardasti qaid kar rahe hain. Jab media is masle ko
uthaayega, to uske walidain majboor ho jayenge use riha karne par, ya tum police ke
paas ja kar uski rihaai karwa sakte ho."
Salar heran tha: Jalal bilkul theek baat kar raha tha-Imama ne khud kyun nahi is bare

129
mein socha? Yeh ek zyada mehfooz raasta tha.
"Teek hai, yeh bhi bata dunga."
"Please, dobara mujhse milne mat aana aur Imama se bhi keh dena ke woh mujhe
dobara kabhi contact na kare. Waise bhi, mere walidain meri mangni ki planning kar
rahe hain." Jalal ne yeh bhi bata diya.
"Teek hai-main usse tumhari sab baatein bata dunga," Salar ne casually jawab diya.
Jalal ne kuch aur nahi kaha aur car se nikal gaya.

Agar Imama ko yeh umeed thi ke Salar Jalal ko usse shaadi karne ke liye razi kar
lega, to yeh uski badi ghalti thi. Salar ko Imama ke liye koi hamdardi nahi thi aur na
hi usne yeh uljhan kisi nek irade se shuru ki thi; yeh bas ek adventure tha uske liye,
aur Imama aur Jalal ki shaadi is adventure ka hissa nahi thi. Agar usse unki shaadi ko
justify karna padta, to uske paas sirf yeh waja hoti ke woh ek dosre se mohabbat
karte hain, magar Jalal ne is waja ko rad kar diya tha. Salar na to mazhabi aur na hi
ikhlaqi wajoohat se Jalal ko qail kar sakta tha, kyunki woh khud mazhab aur
ikhlaqiyat se door tha.

Aur sab se barh kar, woh Imama ke liye kisi se lambi behas kyun karta, jab ke pehli
nazar mein hi usse napasand karne laga tha?

Yeh sochain uske zehan mein aayi jab woh Lahore se Islamabad wapas ja raha tha.
Uski curiosity thi jo use Lahore le gayi thi-dekhna chahta tha ke yeh Jalal kaisa dikhta
hai? Uska Imama ke request pe kya reaction hoga? Usne uska paigham bilkul theek
theek pohcha diya aur ab Jalal ka jawab le kar wapas ja raha tha. Yeh ek maze ka
maqam tha Salar ke liye. Imama ka kya reaction hoga?

Woh Asjad se shaadi nahi kar rahi thi aur Jalal bhi usse shaadi ke liye tayar nahi tha;
woh ghar chhor nahi sakti thi aur koi aur bhi nahi tha jo uski madad kar sakta-ab
woh kya karegi? Aksar, aise haalaat mein larkiyan apni jaan lene ka faisla kar leti hain.

"Oh haan, woh mujhse zehar ya pistol maangne aayegi. Khudkushi... kitni exciting,"
usne socha, ek perverse andaaz mein, mukhtalif imkaanat ka tasavvur karte hue.
"Aakhir, aur woh kya kar sakti hai?"

130
--------------------------------------------

"Kya tum mujhse nikah karoge? Phone par?" Salar ko jhatka laga-woh be-aawaz reh
gaya.

Lahore se wapas aane par, usne Jalal ka jawab Imama ko bata diya tha. Usne socha
tha ke woh roti hui usse apni jaan lene ke liye koi hathyar maangegi. Magar, woh
chand lamhoon ke liye khamosh rahi aur phir usne aisa sawal poocha jo Salar ko
heran aur be-aawaz kar gaya.

"Mujhe sirf chand din ke liye tumhari support chahiye taake mere walidain mujhe
Asjad se shaadi karne par majboor na kar saken. Phir tum ek bailiff ki madad se
mujhe yahan se nikaal sakte ho. Uske baad mujhe tumhari zarurat nahi hogi aur main
kabhi tumhara naam apne walidain ko nahi bataungi," Imama ne wazahat di.

"Teek hai, main kar loonga, lekin yeh bailiff wala kaam thoda tricky hai-bohot saari
legalities hain-ek lawyer ko hire karna padega aur..." Imama ne doosri taraf se uski
baat kaat di. "Tum apne doston se madad le sakte ho-wo log is tarah ke kaam mein
maahir honge."

Salar ko gussa aaya aur usne ghaur se pucha, "Kis tarah ke kaam?"

"Is tarah ke kaam," usne pur-sukoon lehje mein jawab diya.

"Tumhe yeh sab kaise pata?"

"Waseem ne mujhse kaha ke tumhare sathiyon ki sohbat achi nahi hai," Imama ne
bol diya aur phir khamoshi chha gayi. Usse ehsaas hua ke usne ghalat baat keh di
thi-yeh na-munasib tha.

"Meri sohbat bohot achi hai-kam az kam Jalal Ansar se behtar." Salar ke lehje mein
tezi thi. Imama khamosh rahi. "Khair, dekhta hoon kya ho sakta hai. Lekin yaad
rakhna ke yeh bohot khatarnak qadam hai."

"Mujhe pata hai, lekin yeh mumkin hai ke mere walidain mujhe ghar se nikaal den
jab unhein pata chale ke maine shaadi kar li hai; phir bailiff ki zarurat nahi hogi. Ya
woh meri shaadi ko qabool kar lein, jismein main tumhe talaq de dungi aur Jalal se
shaadi kar loongi."

131
Salar ne be-yaqeeni se sar hilaya-usne kabhi kisi ko itna bewaqoof nahi dekha tha.
Yeh larki bewakoofi ki malika ban sakti thi.

"Khair, dekhte hain kya kiya ja sakta hai," usne kaha aur phone rakh diya.

--------------------------------------

"Mujhe nikah karna hai." Hasan ne Salar ko ghoor kar dekha aur phir zor se hans
pada. "Kya yeh ek naya adventure hai ya tumhara aakhri adventure?"

"Aakhri adventure," Salar ne sanjeedgi se jawab diya.

"Toh tum shaadi kar rahe ho?" Hasan ne burger ka nwala lete hue poocha.

"Shaadi kaun kar raha hai? Mujhe bas ek larki ke saath nikah karna hai jo madad
chahti hai-main uski madad karna chahta hoon." Hasan ne usse ghur kar dekha. "Kya
tum mazak kar rahe ho?"

"Nahi, bilkul nahi. Main tumhe yahan mazak karne ke liye nahi bulaya."

"Phir yeh nikah aur...ek larki ki madad karne wali bakwas kya hai?" Hasan ko ghussa
aane laga. "Kya tum pyar vyar mein ho?"

"Meri jooti! Main pagal hoon ke is umar mein pyar karoon?" Salar ne istehza se kaha.

"Yahi main soch raha tha...tum yeh sab kyun kar rahe ho?" Salar ne Hasan ko tafseel
se Imama aur uski mushkilat ke bare mein bataya, magar usne yeh nahi bataya ke
woh Waseem ki behan hai kyunki Hasan Waseem ko achi tarah se jaanta tha. Magar
Hasan ne foran larki ki pehchaan poochhi.

Salar ne gehri saans li. "Woh Waseem ki behan hai."

"Kya?" Hasan literal taur par uchal gaya. "Woh jo Lahore ke medical college mein
padhti hai?" Salar ne haan mein sir hilaya. "Tum pagal ho jo itni bewaqoofi kar rahe
ho. Tumhe Waseem ko yeh sab batana chahiye."

"Main tumse madad maang raha hoon, salah nahi," Salar ko ghussa aaya.

"Main madad ke liye kya kar sakta hoon?" Hasan ghabraya.

"Ek nikah registrar aur kuch gawahon ka bandobast karo taake phone par nikah ho
sake," Salar ne mudde ki baat ki.

132
"Isse tumhe kya faida hoga?" Hasan jaan na chahta tha.

"Koi faida nahi, lekin main yeh faida ke liye nahi kar raha."

"Damn it, Salar! Tum is musibat mein kyun par rahe ho aur woh bhi Waseem ki
behan ke liye..."

Salar ne uski baat kaat di. "Bas mujhe yeh batao ke tum meri madad karoge ya nahi?
Baaki cheezon ki fikr mat karo."
"Teek hai, main tumhari madad karunga, main tumhe mana nahi kar raha. Magar
tumhe dobara sochna chahiye, kyunki yeh bohot khatarnak qadam hai." Hasan ne
aakhir haar maan li.

"Maine soch liya hai. Ab mujhe tafseelat batao," Salar ab relaxed lag raha tha. Usne
kuch French fries munh mein daal liye.

"Ek aur baat-agar tumhare walidain ko pata chal gaya to?"

"Unhe nahi pata chalega-woh yahan nahi hain, woh Karachi mein hain aur kuch
dinon tak wahan rahenge. Agar woh yahan hote to mujhe mushkil hoti," Salar ne
Hasan ko tasalli dene ki koshish ki. Woh dono fries khaate rahe, magar Hasan ka
dimaag kahin aur tha. Salar ko is baat ki parwaah nahi thi. Hasan halat ke bare mein
fikrmand nahi tha-woh behtareen strategy soch raha tha. Salar ko Hasan ke bare
mein koi khauf nahi tha: woh Salar ka sabse achha dost tha.
---------------------------------------

Hasan ne saari tayyariyan bohot smoothly kar li thi. Salar ne usse kuch paise diye aur
teen gawahon ka bandobast kar liya gaya, jab ke woh khud chautha gawah tha.
Nikah registrar ko is pure maamle mein kuch garbar lag rahi thi, magar ek achi fees
ke saath saath usse ek saaf dhamki bhi di gayi, aur usne chup chap maan liya.

Dopahar ke akhir mein Hasan registrar aur gawahon ke sath aaya. Sab Salar ke kamre
mein chale gaye aur nikah ke papers fill out kiye gaye. Salar ne pehle se Imama ko
inform kar diya tha aur muqarrar waqt par telephone par nikah nama parha gaya.
Salar ne maid ke zariye nikah ke forms Imama ko bhej diye. Jaise hi usne papers
haasil kiye, Imama ne unhein foran sign kar diya aur wapas Salar ko bhej diya. Maid
unhein wapas le aayi magar wo bohot curious thi-yeh log Salar ke kamre mein kaun
the? Yeh kya kar rahe the? Yeh papers kya the jo Imama ne sign kiye?

133
Usko shak tha ke Salar aur Imama ki shaadi ho rahi thi, magar wo apni curiosity ko
control nahi kar saki. Papers Salar ko dete hue, usne masoomiyat se poocha, "Salar
Saab, yeh papers kya hain?"

"Yeh tumhe kaise concern karte hain? Apna kaam karo," Salar ne usse sakhti se jawab
diya. "Aur yeh baat bohot achi tarah se samajh lo ke tumne yeh baat kisi se nahi
karni. Apne munh band rakho-yeh tumhare liye behtareen hoga," usne usse sakhti se
dhamkaya.

"Main kyun baat karti, sahab? Main to bas pooch rahi thi. Aap be fikar rahein Salar
Sahib, main kisi se kuch nahi kahungi," wo dari hui thi.

Jaisa ke tha, Salar ka andaz waise bhi kafi sakht aur mukhtasir tha aur wo usse dar
kar baat karti thi. Usne usse imperiously ishara kiya ke nikal jao. Usse maid ke sabko
batane ki fikr nahi thi-agar wo batati bhi, to kya?

---------------------------------

"Please milo Jalal se dobara...please," Imama Salar se phone pe darkhwast kar rahi
thi.
Salar iski darkhwast se chir chuka tha. "Imama, wo tumse shaadi nahi karna chahta-
usne yeh kitni baar kaha hai. Tum kyun nahi samajh rahi ke usse baat karne ka koi
faida nahi? Usne kaha ke uske walidain chahte hain ke wo mangni kar le..."

"Wo jhoot bol raha hai," Imama ne mudakhlat ki, "sirf is liye ke main usse dobara
rabta na karun. Uske walidain itni jaldi uski mangni nahi kara sakte."

"Agar wo tumse shaadi nahi karna chahta; tumse rabta nahi karna chahta, toh tum
apna waqt kyun barbad kar rahi ho uspar?"

"Kyunke meri kismat mein yahi hai," wo ro rahi thi.

"Iska kya matlab hai?"

"Iska koi matlab nahi...tum nahi samjhoge. Bas jaake usse kaho ke meri madad kare.
Wo Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) ko itna izzat deta hai, usse kaho ke Nabi (PBUH) ke
liye mujhse shaadi kar le." Wo zaar zaar ro rahi thi.

134
Salar uski aansuon se mutasir nahi hua. "Yeh kaisi logic hai? Kya wo tumse yeh kehne
se shaadi kar lega?" Lekin Imama ne jawab nahi diya, wo bas naqaboli tor pe ro rahi
thi.

Tang aa kar, Salar ne kaha, "Ya toh ro lo ya mujhse baat karo."

Imama ne phone rakh diya. Salar ne foran dobara call ki, lekin usne jawab nahi diya.
Kareeban bees minute baad, Imama ne dobara call ki.

"Main tumse tabhi baat karunga agar tum waada karo ke phir nahi rougi...warna
phone rakh do," usne Imama ki awaaz sunte hi kaha.

Jawaab dene ke bajaye, Imama ne poocha, "Toh tum Lahore jaoge?"

Salar uski azm se hairaan tha-wo sakht thi aur apne irade par qayam thi.

"Theek hai, agar tum kehti ho," usne tasleem kar liya. "Kya tumne apne ghar walon
ko nikah ke baare mein bataya?"

"Nahi, abhi tak nahi." Usne apni sanbhal dobara hasil kar li thi.

"Kab bataogi?"

"Pata nahi. Tum Lahore kab jaoge?"

"Jaldi hi. Mujhe yahan kuch kaam hai warna abhi chala jata." Is dafa Salar jhoot bol
raha tha: uska yahan koi kaam nahi tha aur uska Lahore jaane ka bhi koi irada nahi
tha.

"Tumhara kya plan hai jab bailiff tumhari madad se tumhare ghar se nikalne mein
madad karega? Mera matlab hai, tum kahan jaogi, kyunke ho sakta hai Jalal madad
na kare?"

"Main aisa kuch nahi maan rahi-wo meri madad karega," Imama ne dawa kiya.

Salar ne kandhe ucha diye.

"Tum kisi baat ka andaza lagane ko tayyar nahi ho warna main tumhe bata deta ke
cheezen tumhare mutabiq nahi hongi. Phir tum kya karogi? Tumhe phir apne
walidain ki madad chahiye hogi is liye behtar hai ke yahin raho-court aur bailiff ke
chakkar mein mat paro kyunke aakhir tum yahin wapas aaogi."

"Main kabhi wapas nahi aungi, kisi surat mein bhi nahi."

"Yeh jazbati hona hai," usne kaha.

135
"Tum yeh sab nahi samajh sakte." Imama ne apni manpasand line dobara kahi.

Salar ko ghussa a gaya. "Jo karna hai karo," usne kaha aur phone rakh diya.

Kariban 6 mahine pehle, Umera Ahmed Official.

"Kal shaam tumhara nikah Asjad se aur rukhsati hogi," Hashim Mubeen us raat
Imama ke kamre mein aya aur gusse se elan kiya.

"Baba, main inkar kar dungi. Behtar hoga ke aap mujhe is shaadi ke liye majboor na
karein."

"Agar tumne inkar kiya, toh main tumhe yahin goli maar dunga. Is baat ko yaad
rakhna."

Usne apne walid ki taraf dekha. "Baba, meri shaadi ho chuki hai," usne elan kiya. "Yeh
hi meri inkar ki wajah hai."

Hashim Mubeen ka chehra badal gaya. "Tum jhoot bol rahi ho."

"Main jhoot nahi bol rahi: meri shaadi 6 mahine pehle ho chuki hai."

"Tumne kis se shaadi ki?"

"Main yeh nahi bata sakti."

Hashim Mubeen ne kabhi nahi socha tha ke yeh bachchi itni museebat ka sabab
banegi. Ghusse mein, usne Imama par hamla kar diya aur usse thappad maarne laga.
Usne apne haath se apna chehra bachane ki koshish ki magar bekaar. Kamre se aati
awaaz ne Waseem ko bulaya, jo foran apne walid ko pakad kar Imama se alag karne
laga. Imama deewar ke saath khari ho gayi, rote hue.

"Baba, aap kya kar rahe hain? Is masle ko aman se hal kiya ja sakta hai."

Ghar ke doosre afrad bhi Waseem ke peechay kamre mein aa gaye.

"Usne kisi se shaadi kar li hai." Hashim Mubeen gusse aur mayoosi mein tha.

Waseem ne is baat ko qabool nahi kiya. "Baba, yeh jhoot bol rahi hai-yeh yeh sab
kaise kar sakti thi jab yeh ghar se ek martaba bhi bahar nahi gayi?"

"Iski shaadi 6 mahine pehle hui thi."

136
Imama ne upar nahi dekha. Waseem ko yaqeen nahi ho raha tha ke wo aisa kuch kar
sakti thi-wo usse achi tarah jaanta tha. Imama ne usse dhundhli aankhon se dekha
aur dheere se kaha, "Yeh sach hai-meri shaadi ho chuki hai."

"Iska saboot kya hai? Kya tumhare paas nikah ke papers hain?" usne sakhti se
poocha.

"Yahan nahi, wo mere saaman ke saath Lahore mein hain."

"Baba, main kal Lahore jaa raha hoon uska saaman lene ke liye. Phir dekh lenge,"
usne elan kiya. Imama ko afsos hua ke usne yeh kaha-wo unke saaman mein kya
dhoondh sakte hain?

"Agar tumhari shaadi ho bhi gayi hai, tab bhi koi farq nahi padta. Main tumhe talaq
dilaunga aur phir tumhari shaadi Asjad se karwaunga." Hashim Mubeen ne aakhri
baat ke taur pe kaha. Uska chehra gusse se surkh tha jab wo uske kamre se bahar
nikla. Dheere dheere sab doosre log bhi chale gaye. Wo apni bed par baith gayi-ab
usse samajh aa gaya ke ek phansi hui chiriya ka kya haal hota hoga. Yeh ek ‫ اتفاق تها‬ke
unhone usse nikahnama ka copy nahi bheja; agar wo hota bhi, toh wo apne walid ko
nahi dikha sakti thi kyunke uspar Salar ka naam tha. Hashim Mubeen ke liye Salar tak
pohanchna aur usse nipatna bachon ka khel tha. Doosri taraf, agar unhe uske
saaman mein nikah papers nahi mile, toh koi uske bayan par yaqeen nahi karega.

Imama ne darwaza band kar ke Salar ko phone kiya: usne usse sab kuch bata diya.

"Ek martaba aur Lahore jao aur Jalal ko mere bare mein batao...main yahan ab aur
nahi reh sakti-mujhe yahan se nikalna hai aur mere paas aur koi jagah nahi jahan
main ja sakoon siwaye uske. Mera liye ek wakil hire karo aur usse kaho ke mere
walidain ke khilaf mere shohar ke liye unlawful confinement ka case file kare."

"Tumhara shohar? Matlab mere liye?"

"Wakil ko apna naam mat dena. Haqeeqat mein, behtar hoga agar tumhare kisi dost
ne wakil ko hire kiya aur appeal file ki-tum unhe kah sakte ho ke kisi farzi naam ka
istemal karein. Agar mere walidain tumhare bare mein jaan gaye, toh wo tumhe pa
lenge aur main nahi chahti ke yeh ho."

Imama ne apne khauf ka pore tor par izhar nahi kiya aur Salar ne bhi zyada pooch-
gach nahi ki. Agle din, kariban 11 baje, ek wakil ne Hashim Mubeen ko phone kiya
aur usse Imama ke bare mein baat ki; wakil ne usse yeh bhi bataya ke Imama ke

137
shohar ke taraf se uske khilaf case file kiya ja raha hai. Hashim Mubeen ko kisi aur
saboot ki zaroorat nahi thi. Gusse se bharak utha, wo Imama ke kamre mein gaya aur
usse buri tarah se peetne laga.

"Imama, tum dekho gi ke tumhara kya anjaam hota hai...tum sab kuch kho dogi. Aisi
larkiyan jo apne walidain ki izzat aur waqar ko daon pe lagati hain, inke sath aisa hi
bartao kiya jana chahiye! Tumne court mein hamare khilaf jaane ki himmat ki jab
humne tumhare liye itna kuch kiya hai-tumne hamesha na-shukri ki. Aisi betiyon ko
waqai janam dete hi dafn kar dena chahiye." Imama ne chup-chaap maar khayi. Wo
apne walid ke jazbat ko samajh sakti thi magar apne jazbat aur soch ko wo unhe
nahi samjha sakti thi.

"Tumne humein be-izzat kar diya hai-hum kisi ka samna nahi kar sakte. Tumne
humein zinda dafn kar diya hai." Salma ne apne shauhar ka peechha kiya tha kamre
mein magar usse rokne ki koshish nahi ki.

"Tumne hamara yaqeen tabah kar diya hai," uske walid ne baat jari rakhi. "Kaash tum
meri beti na hoti-hamare khandan mein paida na hoti-ya paida hote hi mar gayi hoti
ya maine tumhe apne haathon se maar diya hota."

Aaj, Imama ne apne walid ke alfaaz ya unke maar peet par aansu nahi bahaye: usne
bas beghair kuch kahe saari maar aur ilzaam bardasht kiye. Hashim Mubeen thak kar
maarna band kar diya-wo tez saansein le raha tha. Imama uske samne khamosh
khadi rahi.

"Tumhare paas abhi waqt hai-sab kuch chor do. Us aadmi ko talaaq do aur Asjad se
shaadi kar lo: hum tumhe sab kuch maaf kar denge, sab kuch bhool jayenge." Yeh
Salma thi jo mazbooti se bol rahi thi.

"Main ne Islam qabool kiya hai aur purane raaste par wapas nahi jaungi. Main
tumhare deen mein wapas nahi aungi." Imama ne narmi se magar azm ke sath bola.
"Bas mujhe azaad kar do, mujhe yeh ghar chorne do."

"Agar tum yeh ghar chor kar gayi, toh duniya tumhe idhar udhar maaray gi. Tumhe
bahar ki duniya ka bilkul andaza nahi hai-log tumhe nigal jane ke intezar mein hain
jaise magarmachh. Wo aadmi jisse tumne shaadi ki hai, jisne humein be-izzat kiya
hai, tumhari zindagi ko azab bana dega. Usne tumse hamare paise aur status ke liye
shaadi ki hogi, lekin jab tumhare paas kuch nahi hoga, wo tumhe chor dega.

138
Tumhare paas koi panaah nahi hogi, koi shelter nahi hoga." Salma ne Imama ko
darane ki koshish ki.

"Abhi bhi waqt hai, Imama-tumhare paas abhi bhi waqt hai."

"Nahi Ammi, mere paas ab aur waqt nahi hai-maine apna faisla kar liya hai, maine
tumhe apne irade se agah kar diya hai. Main is zindagi ko qabool nahi kar sakti-
please mujhe jaane do. Agar tum mujhe khandan se nikalna chahte ho, toh nikaal do.
Agar tum mujhe virasat se bedakhal karna chahte ho, toh kar do-mujhe koi aitraaz
nahi hai. Lekin main wo karoongi jo maine kaha hai-maine apne zindagi ke liye ek
raasta chuna hai aur na tum aur na koi aur mere faisle ko badal sakta hai."

"Yeh agar baat hai, toh is ghar se bahar nikalne ki himmat kar ke dekho-main tumhe
maar dunga lekin tumhe yeh ghar chor kar nahi jane doonga! Aur jo wakil hai, uska
bhi main khayal rakhoonga. Agar tumhe lagta hai ke koi court tumhe meri hifazat se
nikal sakti hai, toh tum bohot badi ghalat fehmi mein ho. Main tumhe kahin nahi
jane doonga. Bailiff ke aane se pehle hi main tumhe kahin aur le jaoonga-phir dekhte
hain tum apna faisla kaise nahi badalti.

Aur agar mujhe wo aadmi nahi mila jisse tumne shaadi ki hai, toh main tumhari
shaadi Asjad se karwaunga, chahe tumhara nikah ho chuka ho ya nahi. Main is nikah
ko nahi maanta-tumhari shaadi sirf mere marzi se hogi ya phir bilkul nahi hogi." Yeh
keh kar gusse aur jazbat se bhar kar, wo Salma ke saath bahar chala gaya.

Imama khamosh khadi rahi, pareshan aur dar se kaanpti hui, darwaze ko ghoorti rahi.
Jis maqsad ke liye usne shaadi ki thi, wo ab uske samne bikhar raha tha. Usne is se
kuch hasil nahi kiya tha. Hashim Mubeen apne azm mein pathar ki tarah mazboot
tha.

-------------------------------------

"Bechari Imama Bibi!" Nasira ne kaha jab wo Salar ka kamra saaf kar rahi thi. Salar
apni likhne ki mez par papers waghera theek kar raha tha; usne mud kar uski taraf
dekha.

139
"Kal raat uski bohot buri tarah se pitai hui," Nasira ne kaha, uski tawajju dekhte hue.

"Kis ki pitai hui?" Salar ne apni kitaabein theek karte hue poocha.

"Imama Bibi ki, aur kis ki..." Salar ruk gaya aur Nasira ki taraf dekhne laga. Usne kaha
ke uski beti ne bataya ke Hashim Mubeen ne Imama ke sath bohot zyada tashaddud
kiya.

Salar ko yeh sun kar maza aaya. "Sach mein? Bohot accha." Nasira uske English mein
diye gaye remarks ko samajh nahi saki. Salar ne is waqiya ka sabab poocha. Naukrani
uske reaction aur sardonic muskurahat par hairan thi-usne aisi tawajju ki ummed nahi
ki thi.

"Bechari Imama Bibi agar yeh jan le ke Salar Saab uski museebat par muskuraha rahe
hain, toh wo shock se mar jayegi," usne socha.

"Aur kis wajah se unka walid itna ghusse mein hoga," usne zor de kar kaha. "Usne
Asjad Saab se shaadi karne se inkar kar diya kyunke wo kisi aur ladke se shaadi karna
chahti thi." Nasira ne "aur ladke" par zor diya aur maani bhari nazar se Salar ki taraf
dekha.

"Bas itna hi?" usne aam taur pe kaha.

"Yeh aam baat nahi hai, sir. Unka ghar ek upheaval mein hai. Shaadi ki tareekhein tay
ho chuki hain, cards bheje ja chuke hain, aur ab Imama Bibi zid par utar ayi hain-toh
unka walid ne usse maar peet ki."

"Yeh saza dene ki wajah nahi hai," usne raaye di.

"Tum aisa sochte ho, lekin unke liye yeh bohot serious baat hai. Mujhe Imama Bibi ke
liye bohot afsos hai-aisi achi, tameezdaar ladki aur ab wo kitni buri haalat mein hai.
Hashim Saab ne usse ghar mein band kar diya hai. Meri beti batati hai ke wo bohot
bura haal mein hai."

Nasira Imama ki dukh bhari haalat ke bare mein bolti rahi, umeed karte hue ke Salar
uske sympathizer samajh kar kuch raaz khol dega. Lekin Salar koi bewakoof nahi tha
aur na hi usse Nasira ki so-called sympathy mein dilchaspi thi. Usse Imama ki
museebat aur sazaon ki parwah nahi thi magar wo yeh sunkar hairaan zaroor tha ke
aaj ke dor mein bhi log apne bare-bache hue bachon par haath uthate hain aur wo

140
bhi Hashim Mubeen jese ameer aur baise log. Yeh uske liye ek anokhi baat thi. Bohot
se mukhtalif khayalat uske zehan se guzre.

Nasira apne kaam mein lage hue baat karti rahi lekin Salar ne uski baaton par koi
tawajju nahi di, is liye akhir kar usne chup ho gayi, kuch naraz hokar. Usne kabhi aise
la-parwaai ashqi nahi dekhi thi. "Uska reaction bohot ajeeb hai-na udaasi, na
pareshani, jabke usne yeh sab suna ke Imama ne kya kuch saha hai. Shayad wo bhi
aise hi mehsos kare agar Salar ko bhi aise hi museebat ka samna karna pare," Nasira
ne socha jab wo ek tasveer saaf kar ke usse shelf par rakhti.

--------------------------------------------

Ghar chorne ka faisla Imama ki zindagi ka sabse mushkil aur takleef de faisla tha,
lekin uske paas koi aur chara nahi tha. Usse koi andaza nahi tha ke uska walid use
kahan le jayega ya wo kaise uski shaadi tor kar uski shaadi Asjad se karwayega. Usse
sirf yeh haqeeqat maloom thi ke jab Hashim Mubeen use kahi aur le jayega, toh uske
paas koi raasta nahi bachega: wo use kabhi nahi marega, lekin usne jo zindagi apni
qismat mein dekhi thi, usse behtar maut thi.

Jab uska walid kamre se gaya, Imama bohot dair tak roti rahi. Phir, pehli baar, usne
apni zindagi, apni soorat-e-haal ka jaiza liya. Usse subah se pehle ghar se nikalna tha
aur apne liye ek mehfooz jagah dhoondhni thi. "Mehfooz jagah?" yeh sawal uske
zehan mein aya aur usne phir se Jalal Ansar ka socha. Uske liye, Jalal hi wo shakhs
tha jo usse asal mein mehfoozi de sakta tha. "Shayad, agar wo mujhe shakhsi tor par
dekhe, toh wo apni soch badal le, apna faisla dekh le aur mujhe support aur
protection de...shayad uske walidain mujhe reham khanein." Uske dil mein ek halki
ummed uthi. Agar uske walidain madad na bhi karte, kam az kam wo apni marzi se
zindagi jeene ke liye azaad hoti.

"Lekin sawal yeh hai ke main yahan se kaise nikalungi aur kahan jaungi?" Wo
pareshan thi aur phir usne Salar ka socha: agar wo kisi tarah uske ghar pahunch
sakti, toh wo uski madad kar sakta tha.

Usne Salar ko uske mobile par call ki. Mobile band tha. Usne bohot baar koshish ki
lekin baat nahi ho saki. Usne mobile rakh diya aur kuch kapde aur doosri cheezein ek

141
bag mein daal di. Uske paas kuch zevar aur paisa bhi tha, jo usne bag mein rakh
diya. Phir usne apni doosri qeemti cheezein jama ki jo asani se uthayi ja sakti thi aur
jo foran cash de sakti thi. Aakhir mein, usne bag band kiya, kapde badle aur do
nawafil padhe.

Uska dil bhaari tha aur uska sara wajood udasi aur mayoosi se ghira tha. Uske aansu
bhi usse tasalli nahi de rahe the. Nawafil ada karne ke baad, usne jitne ayat aur surah
yaad thi, woh sab parhi.

Imama ne bag uthaya, light band ki aur dheere se apne kamre se nikal gayi. Lounge
mein sirf ek light jal rahi thi, baaqi sab lights band thi aur andhera tha. Wo ehtiyat se
zameen par utar gayi aur kitchen ki taraf gayi, jahan ghana andhera tha. Kitchen
mein apna raasta mehsoos karte hue, wo us darwaze tak pahunch gayi jo lawn ki
taraf khulta tha-kitchen ka darwaza hi ek exit tha jo locked nahi tha, sirf bolted tha.
Us raat bhi darwaza locked nahi tha. Usne dheere se darwaza khola aur bahar nikal
gayi. Kuch faasle par naukron ke quarters the; bohot ehtiyat se, wo lawn cross karke
boundary wall tak pohanchi jo uske ghar ko Salar ke ghar se alag karti thi. Usne apna
bag deewar ke upar se phenk diya aur kuch mehnat ke baad, deewar par chad kar
doosri taraf utar gayi.
-------------------------------

Kharaat ki awaz Salar ke la shaqoor mein dakhil hui jo gehri neend mein tha. Yeh
awaz ek dharaknay wali awaz mein tabdeel ho gayi—mukhtalif magar musalsal. Woh
oondha lete hue, gehri neend mein tha, magar is awaz ne usay jaga diya.
Woh bistar par baitha aur, andheray mein, idhar udhar dekhnay ki koshish ki. Khauf
ki ek lehr us ke jism mein daur gayi. Yeh halki si dharaknay wali awaz sheeshay se aa
rahi thi. Shayad koi inhen kholne ki koshish kar raha tha. Salar ka pehla khayal yeh
tha ke yeh shayad koi chor ho jo andar ghusne ki koshish kar raha hai kyun ke yeh
bas sliding windows theen aur, badqismati se, in par koi grill nahin thi. Magar lohe ki
grill lagana zaroori nahin samjha gaya kyun ke yeh sheeshay uchay darjay ke thay,
imported, aur aasan se nahin toot sakte the, aur, mazeed, yeh sheeshay sirf andar se
kholay ja sakte thay. Aur, ghar ke charoon taraf lawn tha jahan teen guard aur kutte
ghoomte thay. Magar, in ehtiyaaton ke bawajood, koi verandah ke doosri taraf
sheeshay ko kholne ki koshish kar raha tha.

142
Salar uth gaya aur khamoshi se sheeshay ke doosri janib chala gaya;
usne purdah ehtiyat se uthaya aur jhank kar dekha. Usne dekha ke bahar garden
lamps ki roshni mein ek shakhs khara tha aur wo hairan reh gaya.
"Woh paagal hai," usne beikhteyaar kaha. Agar inke khaufnaak nasli kutte usay dekh
lete, to wo usay kaat daalte kehen uska, Salar ya kisi aur ke pahunchne se pehle. Aur
agar guards ko koi shakhs shubha khaiz harkatein karta nazar aata, to wo sawaal
jawab karne ke bajaye, goli chala dete. Magar wo wahan mehfooz khari thi—
yaqeenan, usne deewar phandi thi, Salar ne socha.
Danton ko bhinchte hue, Salar ne bedroom ki light on ki. Kharaat band ho gayi.
Kutton ne bhonknay shuru kar diya tha. Usne purdah hata ke sheesha khol diya.
"Jaldi andar aao!" usne Imama se kaha. Woh kuch ghabrahat se andar aayi, bag
haath mein tha. Salar ne purdah band kar diya aur uski taraf murh gaya. "Khuda ke
waste, Imama—tum paagal ho!" Kuch kahe baghair, usne bag apne paon ke paas
rakh diya.
"Tumne deewar par ki? Agar kutton ya guards ne tumhe dekh liya hota, to tum mar
gayi hoti; tumhara jism wahan pada hota."
"Maine itni baar phone kiya, magar tumhara mobile band tha. Mere paas koi aur
raasta nahin tha."
Pehli dafa, Salar ne uska chehra gaur se dekha. Uski aankhein soji hui thein aur
chehra thaka hua tha. Woh ek chori si, safed chadar mein lipti hui thi jismein aur
uske kapdon mein daag lage hue the.

"Ki tum mujhe Lahore drop kar sakte ho?" usne Salar se poocha.

"Is waqt?" Salar hairan reh gaya.

"Haan, abhi—mere paas waqt nahi hai." Salar ne deewar par latki ghari ki taraf
dekha. "Wakil ne tumhare ghar phone kiya tha... kya usne tumhari masla hal nahi
kiya?"

Imama ne sir hila kar kaha, "Nahi. Woh mujhe kahin aur bhejne ka plan kar rahe hain.
Isi liye main tumhe itni bechaini se phone kar rahi thi ke wakil se kaho ke ek bailiff
lekar aaye aur meri rihaai ko yaqeen banaye. Yeh agle din tak intizar nahi kar sakta
tha kyunki woh mujhe kisi ajnabi jagah le jaane wale the."

Salar ne jamhai li: usay neend aa rahi thi. "Baith jao," usne kaha jab ke woh abhi bhi
khadi thi.

143
"Agar tum mujhe Lahore nahi le ja sakte, to mujhe bus stand par chhod do—main
Lahore khud chali jaungi."

Woh kehne wala tha ke hum subah nikalte hain, magar usne beech mein hi baat kaat
di. "Nahi, subah nahi. Mujhe yahan se pehle nikalna hai. Agar main Lahore ki bus
nahi pakar saki, to main kisi aur sheher chali jaungi aur wahan se Lahore ki bus le
lungi."

"Kam az kam baith jao," Salar ne ishara kiya. Usne kuch dair socha, phir sofa par
baith gayi. Salar bistar ke paon par baitha, uski taraf dekhte hue. "Tum Lahore mein
kahan jaogi?"

"Jalal ke paas."

"Lekin usne tumse shaadi karne se inkar kar diya hai."

"Main phir bhi jaungi. Woh mujhse pyaar karta hai—woh mujhe is tarah akela nahi
chhod sakta. Main us se aur uske ghar walon se guzarish karungi; mujhe pata hai
woh meri surat-e-haal ko samjhenge."

"Lekin ab tum mujhse shaadi shuda ho."

Shocked, Imama ne uski taraf dekha. "Lekin yeh sirf kaaghzi shaadi hai. Maine wazeh
kiya tha ke nikah sirf majboori mein hua hai—yeh asal shaadi nahi hai."

Usne usay baghair palke jhapkaye dekha. "Kya tumhe pata hai ke main aaj Lahore
gaya tha Jalal se milne?"

Imama ke chehre ka rang udd gaya. "Kya tumne usay meri masla, meri surat-e-haal
ke bare mein bataya?"

"Nahi." Salar ne sir hila kar kaha.

"Kyoon nahi?"

"Jalal ki shadi ho gayi hai," usne casually kaha. Imama ka sans rok gaya jab usne usay
dekha.

"Abhi teen din hue hain," usne agay kaha. "Woh apni dulhan kay sath chand dinon
mein Northern Areas ja raha hai. Usne mujhe ye sab bata diya pehle se hi—shayad is
liye ke woh tumhare baare mein aur sunna nahi chahta tha. Uski biwi bhi doctor hai."

144
Salar ruk gaya. "Mujhe lagta hai uski family ne tumhare rishtay ki wajah se jaldi shadi
kar di." Salar asani se jhoot bolta raha.

"Mujhe yakeen nahi aa raha." Uski awaz kahin door se aati hui lag rahi thi.

"Haan, mujhe bhi yakeen nahi aya tha, aur na mujhe tumse umeed thi ke tum yakeen
karogi—lekin ye sach hai. Tum usay phone kar ke baat kar sakti ho agar tumhain
shak hai," Salar ne be parwahi se kaha.

Imama ne apne aap ko aik andheri khalayi mehsoos kiya. Woh umeed ki roshni jo
usne yahan tak pohochne mein dekhi thi, achanak bujh gayi thi. Apna raasta
dhondna toh door ki baat thi, woh apni khudi ko bhi nahi dhondh pa rahi thi.

"Ab yeh tum par hai—tum Lahore mein kya karogi? Woh tumse ab shadi nahi kar
sakta, aur na hi uski family tumhain koi pana de sakti hai. Behtar hai ke tum ghar
wapas chali jao jab tak tumhara khandan kuch jaan nahin jata."

Imama ko aisa mehsoos ho raha tha ke uski awaz bohot door se aa rahi hai. Usne
blankly usay dekha aur dheemi awaz mein kaha, "Mujhe Lahore drop kar do."

"Tum Jalal ke paas jaogi?"

"Nahi... main wahan nahi jaungi. Lekin main ab ghar nahi ja sakti." Woh achanak
khadi ho gayi. Salar ne usay fikrmandi se dekha aur aik gehri saans li. "Ya mujhe
tumhare gate tak chhor do—main apna raasta dhondh lungi. Apne chowkidar ko keh
do mujhe bahar nikal de."

Usne apna bag uthaya.

"Kya tumhain pata hai bus stand kitna door hai? Tum apne aap se is dhund aur sardi
mein raasta dhondh sakti ho?"

"Jab mere paas kuch nahi bacha, toh sardi ya dhund ka kya matlab?" Salar ne usay
udaasi se muskurate dekha, ankhon mein aansu bhare hue thay jo usne haath ke
pichle hissay se ponch liye. Uska kahin bhi jaane ka irada nahi tha, Lahore tak jana
toh door ki baat thi. Usay neend bohot aa rahi thi aur woh larki jo uske samne khadi
thi, usay pasand nahi thi.

"Ruko—main tumhare saath chalta hoon." Usay nahi pata kyun ya kaise yeh alfaaz
uske munh se nikle. Imama ne dekha ke woh apne dressing room ki taraf ja raha tha.
Thodi dair baad woh wahan se nikla, pajamas se jeans aur pullover mein badal kar.

145
Usne apni key chain, ghari aur wallet bedside table se uthaye. Imama ke paas aaya
aur uska bag lene ke liye haath barhaya.

"Nahi, shukriya, main khud utha sakti hoon."

"Do mujhe," usne kaha aur bag apne kandhe par daal liya. Woh dono ek line mein
porch ki taraf chal diye. Salar ne uska bag back seat par rakha aur front door uske
liye khola. Jab gari gate ke kareeb pohchi, chowkidar ne gate khol diya. Guzarte hue,
Salar ne chowkidar ki aankhon mein hairani dekhi jab usne front seat par musafir ko
dekha; usay zaroor yeh sochna chahiye ke woh larki is waqt ghar mein kya kar rahi
thi aur kaise andar ayi thi.

"Kya tum mujhe bus stand par drop karoge?" Imama ne pucha jab gari main road ki
taraf chal rahi thi.

Salar ne uski taraf dekha. "Nahi. Main tumhe Lahore le kar ja raha hoon." Uski
aankhein raste par mustaqil thi.
---------------------------------------

CHAPTER 3 ENDS

146
 CHAPTER 4

Car ek wasi, lagbhag khali road par tez daud rahi thi. Traffic bohot kam tha. Usne
apna dahina haath steering wheel par rakha hua tha aur baen haath se jamai rokne
ki koshish kar raha tha, sath hi neend se lad raha tha. Saath wali seat par, Imama
chup chap ro rahi thi, jisse Salar bakhubi wakif tha. Kabhi kabar woh apne aansu
ponchti aur naak saaf karti, phir se windscreen ke raaste road ko takti hui rota rehti.
Salar bhi kabhi kabhi Imama ki taraf dekhta. Usne usse tasalli dene ki koshish nahi ki.
Usne socha ke woh khud hi theek ho jayegi, lekin jab aadhe ghante baad bhi woh
shaant nahi hui, toh Salar ne tang aa kar kaha, "Agar tum ghar se bhaagne par itni
pareshan ho, toh tumhe aisa nahi karna chahiye tha."

Imama ne koi jawab nahi diya. Thodi der baad, usne kaha, "Abhi bhi waqt hai: shayad
kisi ne tumhari gair-hazri mehsoos nahi ki hogi."

" Mujhe koi pachtawa nahi," Imama ne kuch waqt baad, bharayi hui magar mazboot
awaz mein jawab diya.

"Phir tum kyun ro rahi ho?" usne foran jawab diya.

"Tumhein batane ka koi faida nahi," usne phir se apne aansu ponchte hue kaha.

Salar ne uski taraf curious nazron se dekha, phir phir se aage dekhne laga. "Lahore
mein tum kahan jaogi?"

"Pata nahi."

Salar uske jawab se bohot heran hua. "Kya matlab? Tumhe nahi pata ke kahan ja rahi
ho?"

147
"Abhi nahi..."

"Phir tum Lahore kyun ja rahi ho?"

"Main aur kahan ja sakti hoon?"

" Tum Islamabad mein bhi reh sakti thi."

"Islamabad mein kahan? Kis ke saath?"

"Lahore mein bhi koi nahi hai jo tumhe hamesha ke liye rakhe... siwaye Jalal ke."

Salar ne aakhri teen lafzon ko zor de kar kaha aur uski reaction dekhne ki koshish ki.
"Toh tum uske paas ja rahi ho," usne katti awaz mein kaha.

"Nahi. Jalal meri zindagi se nikal chuka hai. Main uske paas kaise ja sakti hoon?"

Salar samajh nahi saka ke uske lehje mein zyada nirasha thi ya zyada udasi. "Phir tum
kahan jaogi?" Woh intrigued tha.

"Yeh main tabhi bata sakti hoon jab Lahore pahunchungi- kahan jaungi aur kis ke
paas."

Salar ne uski taraf shaq bhari nazron se dekha: kya usse waqai nahi pata tha ya woh
batana nahi chahti thi? Gari mein phir se khamoshi cha gayi.

" Tumhara fiancé-uska kya naam hai? Oh haan, Asjad-woh bohot achha insaan hai,
bohot khoobsurat," Salar ne phir se khamoshi todhi. "Aur woh dusra ladka, Jalal
Asjad ke muqable mein kuch bhi nahi hai. Kya tumne Asjad ke saath na-insafi nahi

148
ki?" Imama ne jawab nahi diya, sirf sadak ki taraf dekhti rahi. Salar uski taraf dekhte
hue uske jawab ka intezar karta raha, phir usne mehsoos kiya ke woh jawab dena
nahi chahti.

"Main tumhe samajh nahi paaya...ya jo tum kar rahi ho usko. Tumhari harkatein ajeeb
hain aur tum khud usse bhi ajeeb ho," Salar ne kuch dair ke baad kaha. Is dafa,
Imama ne uski taraf dekha.

"Kya main tumse zyada ajeeb hoon aur meri harkatein tumse zyada ajeeb hain?"
Imama ne narmi magar mazbooti se kaha. Uske lafzon ne Salar ko bolti band kar di.

"Mujhmein kya ajeeb hai aur meri kaunsi harkat tumhe ajeeb lagi?" usne kuch dair ke
khamoshi ke baad poocha.

"Tumhe pata hai kaunsi harkatein ajeeb thi," usne seedha sadak ki taraf dekhte hue
jawab diya.

"Shayad tum mere khudkushi karne ki koshishon ki baat kar rahi ho," usne apna hi
sawaal jawab diya. "Halaanki mujhe marne ka koi irada nahi hai, main sirf koshish kar
raha hoon-main bas tajruba kar raha hoon."

"Kaisa tajruba?"

"Maine hamesha logon se yeh sawal poocha hai lekin koi bhi mujhe tasalli bakhsh
jawab nahi de saka. Isliye main khud jawab dhundne ki koshish kar raha hoon," usne
apni baat jaari rakhi.

"Tumhara sawal kya hai?"

"Ek bohot simple sawal hai, lekin sabko iska jawab dena mushkil lagta hai. Khushi ke
baad kya aata hai?" usne Imama se poocha.

149
Imama ne kuch dair uski taraf dekha, phir kaha, "Dard."

"Phir dard ke baad kya?" usne ek aur sawaal kiya.

"Kuch nahi."

"Kuch nahi ke baad kya?" usne apne mamooli andaaz mein poocha.

"Jahannum," usne jawab diya.

"Jahannum ke baad kya?" Imama ne usse chup chaap dekha.

"Jahannum ke baad kya?" usne dohraya.

"Kya tumhe darr nahi lagta?" usne ajeeb se lehje mein poocha.

"Kis cheez ka darr?" usne hairani se poocha.

"Jahannum ka-woh jaga jahan aage kuch nahi hota...sab kuch peeche reh jaata hai.
Jab tumhe laanat aur barbaadi ka samna hota hai, uske baad kya reh jaata hai jo
tumhe jaanne layak ho?" usne udaasi se kaha.

"Mujhe tumhari baat samajh nahi aayi-yeh meri samajh se bahar hai," Salar ne kaha.

"Fikar mat karo: ek waqt aayega jab yeh sab tumhe samajh mein aayega. Phir
tumhari hansi khatam ho jayegi aur uski jagah darr le lega-maut ka darr, jahannum
ka bhi. Allah tumhe sab samjha dega...aur tum phir kabhi nahi poochoge ke khushi
ke baad kya aata hai," Imama ne pur-sukoon lehje mein kaha.

150
"Kya yeh tumhari paishgoi hai?" Salar ne uski baat ko tanaza karte hue jawab diya.

"Nahi," usne wahi lehja apnate hue jawab diya.

"Tajurba? Haan, shayad, kyunke tumne bhi apni zindagi khatam karne ki koshish ki.
Maine apne tareeke se kiya aur tumne apne tareeke se," usne thandey lehje mein
kaha. Imama ki aankhon mein phir se aansu bhar aaye. Usne Salar ki taraf dekha.

"Maine apni zindagi khatam karne ke liye kuch nahi kiya."

"Kisi aadmi ke liye ghar chhodna ek aurat ke liye khudkushi ke barabar hota hai, aur
woh bhi aise aadmi ke liye jo shaadi ke liye tayaar nahi. Dekho, main ek
broadminded, bohot liberal insaan hoon, aur mujhe isme koi burai nahi lagti agar ek
ladki ghar se bhaag kar apni marzi se kisi aadmi se civil shaadi kare-lekin kam se
kam woh aadmi uske saath khada ho. Ek shaadi-shuda aadmi ke liye ghar
chhodna...tsk, tsk! Main yeh samajh nahi sakta aur woh bhi tumhari umar mein-yeh
bilkul bewakoofi hai."

"Maine kisi aadmi ke liye ghar nahi chhoda."

"Jalal Ansar," usne yaad dilaya.

"Maine uski wajah se ghar nahi chhoda!" usne achanak cheekh kar kaha. Salar ne
brake par paon mara aur hairani se uski taraf dekha.

"Mujh par cheekhne ki zaroorat nahi hai. Zaroorat nahi hai," usne mana kiya jab woh
khidki se bahar dekh rahi thi.

"Tum jaante ho, yeh religious theory ya philosophy ya jo bhi point tumne banaya
hai-mujhe yeh samajh nahi aata! Kya farq padta hai agar koi dusre nabi ko maane?

151
Zindagi mein in fazool behas se zyada kuch hai-mazhab, aqeede aur firqon ke upar
larai-kya bakwaas hai!"

Imama ne uski taraf ghussa bhari nazar se dekha. "Zaroori nahi ke jo cheezen
tumhare liye be-maani hain woh doosron ke liye bhi hon. Main us mazhab ko nahi
apnana chahti jis mein main paida hui thi, aur na hi us mazhab ke aadmi se shaadi
karna chahti hoon. Mera yeh haq hai ke main jo chahu woh karoon. Main tumhare
saath in cheezon par behas nahi karna chahti jo tumhare samajh se bahar hain, toh
in maamlaat par koi comment mat karo."

"Mujhe jo kehna hai woh kehne ka haq hai: freedom of expression," Salar ne kandhe
uchka kar kaha. Imama ka jawab sirf khidki se bahar dekhte rehna tha. Salar bina ek
lafz kahe gari chalata raha, lekin thodi der baad usne khamoshi todhi aur apne
mawzoo par wapas aaya.

"Yeh Jalal Ansar...main uski baat kar raha tha. Usme aisa kya khaas hai?" usne Imama
ki taraf dekha jo seedha aage dekh rahi thi.

"Woh tumhare barabar ka nahi hai. Woh bilkul bhi accha nahi dikhta aur tum ek
khoobsurat ladki ho-mujhe tumhari usmein dilchaspi par hairat hai. Kya woh bohot
zyada intelligent hai?" usne usse poocha. Woh hairan ho gayi.

"Intelligent? Tumhara matlab kya hai?"

"Dekho, log aksar shakal-o-soorat se mutasir hote hain, lekin mujhe nahi lagta ke
uski shakal tumhe pasand aayi ya uska khandani pas-e-manzar. Mujhe uski social ya
financial status ka nahi pata, lekin main jaanta hoon ke tumhara bohot achha
khandani pas-e-manzar hai toh tum usse is wajah se mutasir nahi ho sakti."

"Jo baat reh jati hai woh insaan ki intellect hoti hai, uski salahiyat...toh kya woh bohot
zyada intelligent hai? Brilliant aur outstanding?"

152
"Nahi," usne dheere se kaha. Salar kaafi mayus hua.

"Phir aisa kya tha jo tumhe uski taraf kheench laaya?"

Woh gari ki headlights se roshan sadak ko dekhte rahi. Salar ne apna sawal dohraya
nahi; usne bas kandhe uchka diye aur apni driving par tawajju di. Un dono ke beech
khamoshi thi.

"Uski naat parhne ki style bohot achi thi," kuch dair baad, usne apne aap se bola,
jaise ke apni saans mein. Salar ne suna lekin yakeen nahi hua.

"Kya?" Usne tasdeeq chaahi.

"Woh bohot achi naat parhta tha." Is dafa Imama ki awaaz zyada zor se thi.

"Sirf uski awaaz ke liye...kya woh singer hai?"

"Nahi. Woh sirf naat parhta hai, aur bohot khoobsurti se."

Salar hans pada. "Toh tum uski sirf is wajah se diwani ho gayi! Yakeen nahi hota."

Imama ne uski taraf dekha. "Toh mat karo-tumhare yakeen ki zaroorat kisko hai?"
usne tez lehje mein kaha.

Phir se khamoshi chha gayi.

"Maan lete hain ke uski naat parhne ki style ne tumhe itna gehra asar kiya ke tumne
itni dooriyan tay kar li, lekin yeh bohot ghair-amli baat hai. Yeh bilkul Barbara

153
Cartland ke romance jaisa hai jab ke tum ek medical student ho aur tumhara zehan
mature hai," usne kuch tehqeer ke saath kaha.

Imama ne phir uski taraf dekha. "Main bohot mature hoon-bohot zyada mature, aur
pichle teen ya chaar saalon mein koi bhi yeh dawa nahi kar sakta ke maine cheezon
ko jitna practically dekha hai kisi ne dekha ho."

"Mujhe apne comments bachaane do. Shayad meri practicality tumhari nazar mein
practicality se mukhtalif hai. Waise, main Jalal ke baare mein baat kar raha tha,
tumne jo uski naat parhne ki baat ki."

"Kuch cheezen insaan ke bas mein nahi hoti...mera bhi nahi," uske lehje mein shikast
thi.

"Main tumse ittefaq nahi karta-sab kuch humare ikhtiyar mein hota hai; kam se kam
hum apni feelings, apne emotions aur actions ko control kar sakte hain. Hum jaante
hain kab aur kyun humein kisi ke liye feelings develop hoti hain; aur yeh emotions
tab tak nahi badhte jab tak hum jaan boojh kar unhe hone na dein. Isliye main nahi
maan sakta ke humein koi control nahi hai."

Baat karte hue, usne Imama ki taraf dekha aur mehsoos kiya ke woh sun nahi rahi
thi. Woh seedha windshield ya saamne ke manzar ko dekh rahi thi, baghair palak
jhapkaye. Woh kisi aur jagah thi, usse nahi pata kahan. Woh usse ajeeb lag rahi thi.

Kaafi der tak khamoshi mein gari chalane ke baad, Salar ne phir usse mukhatib kiya.
"Naat parhne ke ilawa, usmein aur kya qualities hain?"

Uski zyada unchi awaaz se woh chok gayi. Usne apna sawal dohraya.

"Sab woh qualities jo ek ache insaan, ek ache Musalman mein honi chahiyein."

154
"Jaisi ke?" Salar ne apni aankhein utha kar poocha.

"Aur agar usmein koi aur qualities na bhi hoti, toh bhi main usay doosre mardon par
tarjeeh deti kyunki uska Nabi Muhammad (PBUH) ke liye pyaar itna zyada tha ke yeh
mere liye kaafi tha."

Salar ne hairat se muskuraya. "Kya logic hai! Main waqai is baat ko samajh nahi
sakta." Usne yaqeen na aane wale andaaz mein sir hilaaya. "Tum apni marzi se shaadi
karogi ya apne walidain ki marzi se?"

Imama ke achanak sawal ne usse hairan kar diya. "Zahir hai, apni marzi se! Aaj kal ke
daur mein walidain ki marzi chalti hi kahan hai," usne be-parwahi se jawab diya.

"Toh tum bhi kisi quality se mutasir ho kar shaadi karoge ya kisi se samajh banaoge,
hai na?"

"Bilkul."

"Toh main bhi wahi kar rahi hoon. Yeh sab ek insaan ke priorities ki baat hai-tum un
wajahon se shaadi karoge jo tumne batayi; main bhi Jalal Ansar se isi wajah se shaadi
karna chahti thi." Usne ruk kar kaha. "Meri khwahish thi ke main kisi aise shakhs se
shaadi karoon jo Nabi Muhammad (PBUH) se mujhe zyada mohabbat karta ho. Jalal
aisa hi tha aur mujhe laga ke mujhe usse shaadi karni chahiye. Lekin, jaise ke maine
tumhe bataya, kuch cheezen insaan ke bas mein nahi hoti-kuch khwahishat hoti hain
jo insaan chhod nahi sakta..." Usne udaasi se sir hilaaya.

"Aur ab jab ke woh shaadi shuda hai, tumhara kya plan hai?"

"Mujhe nahi pata..."

155
"Main tumhe bataata hoon-koi aur naat parhne wala dhundho aur usse shaadi kar
lo," usne hans kar mazaak uraya.

Imama ne Salar ki taraf dekha: woh itna bayhiss tha ke zalil hone ki had tak. "Tum
mujhe aise kyun dekh rahi ho? Main sirf mazaak kar raha tha." Usne apni hansi
dabaayi.

Imama ne bina kuch kahe mukh modh liya.

"Kya tumhare walid ne tumhe maara?" Salar ne kuch dair baad guftagu shuru ki.

"Tumhe kisne bataya?" usne uski taraf dekhe bina poocha.

"Kaam waali," usne pur-sukoon lehje mein jawab diya. "Us aurat ne samjha ke tumne
shaadi se mana kar diya hai mere wajah se toh usne tumhari 'afsoosnaak halat' apne
bohot melodramatic style mein bayaan kar di. Kya tumhare walid ne tumhe maara?"

"Ji haan." Usne koi reaction nahi dikhaya.

"Kyun?"

"Maine unse nahi poocha...shayad woh ghusse mein the, isliye."

"Tumne kyun unhe maarne diya?"

Imama ne palat kar dekha. "Kyuki woh mere walid hain, unhe haq hai ke mujh par
haath uthaayein."

156
Salar ne usse hairani se dekha. "Koi aur unki jagah hota toh usne bhi aisa hi kiya
hota is surat mein. Mujhe is baat ka bura nahi laga,"

Usne ek barabar lehje mein kaha, "Agar unhe tumhe maarne ka haq hai, toh unhe
tumhari shaadi jahan woh chahein karwane ka bhi haq hai. Phir tum is baat ka itna
shor kyun macha rahi ho?" Uska lehja tez tha.

"Jab tak woh kisi Musalman se hoti, main jahan chahta woh shaadi kar leti."

"Agar woh Jalal Ansar nahi hota tab bhi?" usne sawaal kiya.

"Haan...jaise ke main ab us se shaadi-shuda hoon." Uski aankhon mein phir se nami

thi.

"Phir tumhe unhe bata dena chahiye tha."

"Zahir hai, mainne bataaya-tumhe lagta hai ke mainne nahi bataaya?"

"Main ek baat se bohot hairan hoon: tumne madad ke liye mere paas aane ka faisla
kyun kiya? Haqiqat mein, tumne yeh kaise kiya jab ke tum mujhe asal mein pasand
nahi karti thi?"

"Mere paas tumhare siwa aur koi raasta nahi tha," usne dheere se kaha, har jumle ke
beech ruk kar. "Mere kisi dost mein wo salahiyat nahi thi ke woh mujhe us tarah
madad kar sakein jaisa ek mard kar sakta tha. Asjad ke ilawa, tum aur Jalal hi sirf woh
mard the jinko main jaanti thi, aur tum sabse nazdeek the jise main foran contact kar
sakti thi-so maine kiya."

"Tumhein yaqeen tha ke main tumhari madad karunga?"

157
"Nahi; maine ek risk liya. Main kaise yakeen kar sakti thi tumhari madad par? Jaise
maine kaha, mere paas koi aur raasta nahi tha."

"Toh tum keh rahi ho ke tum apne maqsad ke liye kisi bhi surat-e-haal ka faida
uthane ko tayyar thi?" Yeh comment Salar ke reaction ko sum-up karta tha aur
Imama ko chup karwa diya. Woh apne point ko samjhaane mein maahir tha, lekin
yeh kehne mein galat nahi tha.

"Bahut interesting." Uski observation se woh kaafi khush tha.

"Main kuch dair ke liye yahan gaari rokna chahta hoon." Salar ne roadside par ek
purane hotel aur gas station ko dekha. "Mujhe tyres check karwane hain. Is gaari
mein koi spare tyre nahi hai aur agar tyre puncture ho gaya to bohot masla ho
jayega." Imama ne sir hila kar haan ki. Usne gaari gas station par rok di. Door kisi
masjid se fajr ki azaan ki awaz sunai di. Hotel ke do char mulazimein ke siwa wahan
aur koi nahi tha. Gaari ko aate dekh kar ek kaam wala bahar aaya; shayad usne gaari
ki awaaz suni thi. Salar ne darwaza khola aur bahar nikal gaya.

Imama ne peechay seat se tek lagai aur apni aankhein band kar lein. Azaan ki awaz
tez hone lagi: usne idhar udhar dekha aur phir gaari se bahar aayi. Darwaza khulte
sun kar, Salar ne mur kar dekha.

"Hum yahan kitni dair rukenge?" usne Salar se poocha.

"Das ya pandrah minute... mujhe engine bhi check karwana hai."

"Mujhe namaz parhni hai; mujhe wuzu karna hai," usne kaha.

Salar ke jawab dene se pehle, aadmi ne kaha, "Baji, agar aapko wuzu ke liye paani
chahiye to is drum mein hai."

"Aur woh kahan namaz parhegi?" Salar ne us aadmi se poocha.

"Us kamre mein wahan - main unke liye jaye namaz bhi le aata hoon. Main aapka
engine check karne se pehle ye kar deta hoon," usne kaha aur kamre ki taraf chala
gaya.

158
Salar ne dekha ke Imama drum ke paas khari thi aur kuch pareshan si lag rahi thi.
Beikhtiyari mein, usne uski taraf chala gaya. Paani ek bare barrel mein tha jo pehle
road tar ke liye istemal hota tha; us par cover tha.

"Main ismein se paani kaise nikaloongi?" Imama ne uske peechay se aane wale
kadmon ki aahat sun kar poocha. Salar ne idhar udhar dekha aur ek khaali balti
uthai.

"Mujhe lagta hai ye log isse paani nikalte hain," usne kaha aur balti ko barrel mein
daal kar paani bhar diya. "Main madad kar doon?" usne poocha. Imama ne pehle
kuch jhijhak se dekha; phir apni pullover ki aasteen charhayi aur apni ghadi utar kar,
Salar ko di, aur paon par baith gayi. Jab Salar ne uske hath par paani dala to usne
jaise bijli ka jhatka mehsoos kar ke haath peeche kheench liye.

"Kya hua?" Salar hairan tha.

"Kuch nahi - paani bohot thanda hai. Lekin dalo, please." Usne apne haath aage
barhaye. Salar ne paani dalna shuru kiya jab ke Imama ne wuzu kiya. Pehli baar, usne
uske kohni tak ke baazu dekhe; kuch dair ke liye, uski nazar uske kalaiyon se hat nahi
saki phir usne apni nazar uske chehre par mor di.

Bina apni chadar utare, Imama ne apne baalon, kaanon aur gale ko bohot ehtiyat se
paak kiya, aur Salar ki nazar uske haathon ki harkaton ka peecha karti rahi. Usne
pehli baar bhi, uske gale mein latki sunehri zanjeer aur moti ka laocket dekha. Har
dafa jab Salar ne usse dekha to wo chadar mein lapeti hoti thi - rang alag hote the
lekin wo hamesha isi tarah pehenti thi. Usne kabhi uske shakl, uske jism ke baare
mein nahi socha tha.

"Main apne paon par paani khud dalungi." Wo khadi hui aur paani se bhari balti
Salar se le li. Wo kuch qadam peeche gaya aur usay dekhta raha, maftoon ho kar.
Uski dilchaspi us waqt khatam hui jab usne wuzu mukammal kiya; usne uski ghadi
usay di.

Wo dono us kamre ki taraf chal diye jo aadmi ne bataya tha. Usne pehle hi kone
mein jaye namaz bichha di thi. Imama khamoshi se aage barhi. Kamre mein kuch
kursiyan aur ek chhoti stool bhi thi. Salar ko foran samajh nahi aaya ke ye kamra kis
kaam ka tha; phir wo doosri taraf ke khidki jaisi counter ki taraf chala gaya.

159
"Do cup chai le aao ," usne wahan ek ladke se kaha jo farmabardarana sar hilate hue
chulha jalane laga. Salar phir kamre mein wapas aaya. Imama ne apni namaz shuru
kar di thi. Woh ek kursi par baith gaya aur apne paon table par rakh kar usey namaz
parhte hue dekhne laga. Usne socha ke Imama apni haalat dekhte hue, rona shuru
kar degi dua mein-yeh to ummed thi. Lekin, uski mayoosi ke liye, usne aisa kuch nahi
kiya. Hath uthaye, woh aram se kuch dair tak dua karti rahi, phir apne chehre par
hath pher kar, khari ho gayi. Salar ne gehri saans li aur nazar hata li.

Jese hi wo Lahore ki hadein me dakhil huay, Imama ne kaha, "Tum mujhe kisi bhi bus
stand par utar do; main apni raah khud bana lungi."
"Main tumhe wahan drop karunga jahan tum jana chahti ho. Is dhund mein kisi
transport ka intezar karna lamba ho jayega." Subha ke is waqt sadkein kafi sunsan thi
aur dhund sab kuch ghair li thi.
"Mujhe nahi pata main kahan jaungi, to main tumhe kaise directions de sakti hoon?
Mujhe lagta hai main hostel chali jaungi, aur phir..."
Salar ne interrupt kiya. "Phir main tumhe hostel le chalta hoon." Dono ke darmiyan
khamoshi thi jab wo hostel ki taraf ja raha tha.
Building se kuch door, Imama ne kaha, "Yahan roko; main chal kar chali jaungi. Main
nahi chahti ke koi mujhe tumhare saath wahan dekhe." Salar ne gaadi roki.
"Pichle kuch hafton mein, tumne meri bahut madad ki hai: main tumhara shukriya
ada karna chahti hoon: agar tum na hote, to main yahan nahi hoti." Usne kuch dair
ke baad bola. "Mere paas ab bhi tumhara mobile hai-mujhe kuch arsa chahiye, lekin
main tumhe baad mein wapas kar dungi."
"Uski zarurat nahi; tum use rakh sakti ho."
"Main tumse kuch dino ke baad contact karungi; tum mujhe divorce papers tab bhej
dena." Usne aur izafa kiya, "Mujhe umeed hai ke tum mere walidain ko kuch nahi
bataoge."
"Yeh kehne ki zarurat hai?" Uski aankhein uthi. "Agar main chahta to kab ka bata
chuka hota," usne beparwai se kaha.
"Tumhara mere bare mein khayal pehle bahut bura tha-kya ab bhi wahi hai, ya
tumhara khayal badal gaya hai?" Salar ne achanak muskurate hue poocha.
"Kya tum nahi samajhte ke main waqai ek acha insaan hoon?"
"Ho sakta hai," usne dheere se kaha.
"Ho sakta hai?" Uske jawab ne Salar ko hairan kar diya. Usne shak se muskuraya.

160
"Ab bhi, tum kehti ho ke ho sakta hai. Tum waqai na-shukri ho, Imama-maine
tumhare liye woh sab kiya jo koi jawan mard karne ko tayar nahi hota, aur tum ab
bhi mere bare mein achi baat kehne ko tayar nahi ho."
"Main na-shukri nahi hoon. Main manta hoon ke tumne meri bahut madad ki hai aur
koi bhi tumhari jagah hota to shayad madad nahi karta..."
"To iska matlab hai ke main acha hoon, hai na?" Usne dakhal di.
Usne jawab nahi diya, lekin uski taraf dekhti rahi.
"Nahi. Main jaanta hoon ke tum yahi kehna chahti ho; log kehte hain ke ek mashriqi
aurat ki khamoshi uski razamandi hoti hai, lekin tumhari khamoshi inkar hai. Main
theek keh raha hoon, hai na?"
"Ham ek fazool behas mein pad rahe hain."
"Ho sakta hai," usne kandhe uchkaye. "Lekin mujhe hairat hai ke tum..."
Is dafa, Imama ne uski baat kat di. "Tumne waqai mere liye bohot kuch kiya hai, aur
agar main tumhe nahi janti hoti, to zarur tumhe ek bohot acha insaan samajhti aur
keh bhi deti. Lekin-main tumhe achi tarah janti hoon to main nahi keh sakti ke tum
achi shakhsiyat ho."
Woh ruki. Salar ne usey ghaur se dekha. "Ek shakhs jo khudkushi ki koshish karta hai,
jo sharab peeta hai, jisne apne kamre ki deewar par nangi auraton ki tasveeren lagayi
hain, woh acha nahi ho sakta." Usne sidhi baat ki.
"Agar tum kisi aise aadmi ke paas jati jisne yeh teenon cheezen na ki hoti magar
tumhari madad bhi na ki hoti, to kya woh tumhari nazar mein acha hota?" Salar
gusse se bola. "Jaise Jalal Ansar?"
Imama ka chehra badal gaya.

"Haan. Usne meri madad nahi ki, lekin isse woh bura nahi ban jata. Woh acha aadmi
hai...main ab bhi usse acha hi samajhti hoon."

"Aur maine tumhari madad ki, tumse shadi ki, aur tumhari nazar mein main ab bhi
bohot bura shakhs hoon?" Usne tanzee muskurahat ke saath kaha.

"Tum apne bare mein kya sochti ho, Imama-ke tum bohot achi ladki ho?" Uski awaz
mein chirchira pan tha aur jawab ka intezar kiye baghair, usne bolna jaari rakha.

"Main nahi samajhta ke tum bohot achi insaan ho: tum ghar se doosre mard ke liye
bhagi...tumne apne mangetar ko dhoka diya...tumne apne khandan ki izzat ko mitti
mein mila diya."

161
Woh baghair kisi lihaaz ke bol raha tha. Imama ki aankhon mein aansoon ubhar
aaye.

"Tum theek keh rahe ho. Main achi nahi hoon, aur yeh mujhe aur bhi bohot se logon
se sunna padega. Main tumhe tafseel se sab kuch bata sakti hoon lekin isse koi faida
nahi, kyunke tum in cheezon ko samajh nahi sakte."

"Maan lo agar main tumhe Lahore na laata, kisi aur jagah le jaata to? Lekin main
tumhe yahan ba-khairiyat le aaya; kya tumhe samajh aata hai ke maine tumhare upar
kitna bara ehsan kiya hai?"

Imama ne uski taraf dekha aur kaha, "Mujhe poora yaqeen tha ke tum mujhe yahan
laoge, tum mujhe kahin aur nahi le jaoge."

"Tumhe mujh par yaqeen tha? Kyun? Main to bura insaan hoon, yaad hai?" Salar
hans pada.

"Mujhe tum par yaqeen nahi tha-mujhe Allah par yaqeen tha." Salar ne uski baat sun
kar ghaur se dekha.

"Maine sab kuch Allah aur uske Rasool (PBUH) ke liye chor diya. Yeh ho hi nahi sakta
ke mujhe tumhare jese shakhs ke rehamo-karam par chor diya jaye."

"Maan lo agar aisa hota," usne zidd pakri.

"Kyun aisa maan lo jo hua hi nahi?" Imama ne bhi zidd se jawab diya.

"Yeh kehne ka matlab hai ke tum mujhe koi bhi credit nahi deti?" usne usay tanziya
andaz mein kaha. "Agar main tumhe abhi nahi janay do? Phir kya? Car ke doors tab
tak nahi khulenge jab tak main unlock nahi karta, tum yeh janti ho; phir tum kya
karogi?"

Imama ne uski taraf dekh kar jawab diya. Salar ne cell phone uthaya jo dashboard
par tha aur number dial karne laga.

"Main tumhare ghar call karta hoon." Usne phone uske samne lehraya-uska number
screen par chamak raha tha.

"Main unhe bata deta hoon ke tum kahan ho aur kis ke saath ho, aur phir main
tumhe seedha police station le jaa kar hawale kar deta hoon-phir tumhara yaqeen
aur bharosa kahan jayega?" Usne uska mazak uraya.

162
Imama chup chap usay dekhti rahi. Salar apne aap se bohot khush tha.

Usne phone band kar diya aur usay screen dikhai.

"Dekho, maine kya ehsan kiya tum par ke maine aisa kuch nahi kiya jo kar sakta tha,"
usne phone wapas dashboard par rakhte hue kaha. "Jab tum poori tarah se bebas
thi, kal raat ko, main tumhe kahin aur le ja sakta tha-tum phir kya karti?"

"Main tumhe goli maar deti," usne har lafz thehar thehar kar kaha.

Woh uske chehre par hans pada. "Kya? 'Main tumhe goli maar deti'," usne uska
mazak urate hue kaha, hans hans kar stearing wheel ko pakad liya. "Kya tumne kabhi
apni zindagi mein pistol dekhi hai?"

Usne dekha ke Imama apne pairo ke paas jhuk rahi hai.

"Mujhe lagta hai yeh usay pistol kehte hain." Uske chehre se muskurahat gayab ho
gayi. Imama ke haath mein ek choti aur mehngi ladies' pistol thi. Uski pakad dekh
kar Salar ko ehsaas hua ke woh koi naveed nahi thi.

"Tum mujhe goli maar sakti thi?"

"Haan, maar sakti thi, lekin maine aisa nahi kiya kyunke tumne mujhe kisi tarah se
dhoka nahi diya." Uska lehja pur-sukoon tha, mazboot. Usne pistol Salar ki taraf nahi
ki, lekin usay pakde rakha.

"Car ka lock..." Usne baat mukammal nahi ki. Salar ne doors unlock kar diye. Usne
pistol apne handbag mein rakhi. Dono ke darmiyan aur koi guftagu nahi hui; darwaza
khol kar, Imama bahar nikal gayi. Salar ne dekha ke woh tezi se ek van ki taraf barh
rahi thi aur usmein chadh gayi.

Salar apni tezi se chehre padne ki salahiyat par fakhar karta tha: woh kisi ke chehre
ko dekh kar uske dimagh ko padh sakta tha. Magar, us dhund se gheri sadak par,
usay maana pada ke woh Imama Hashim ko samajh nahi paya.

Steering par hath rakhe, woh wahan kai lamhon tak ek halat-e-gumrahi mein baitha
raha. Is tajurbe ne uski Imama Hashim se nafrat ko barha diya tha.

Dhund bhari halat ke bawajood, Salar ne ghar top speed par drive kiya. Raste bhar,
uska dimagh uljhan mein tha-usne pistol kahan se nikala tha? Usay yaqeen tha ke
jab woh wuzu kar rahi thi aur apne pairo ko dho rahi thi, uski panjay par kuch
bandha hua nazar nahi aaya tha. Usne usay sir se paon tak dekha jab woh namaz par

163
rahi thi aur kuch nahi dekha. Jab unhone khana khatam kar liya tha, woh car mein ja
kar baith gayi thi; woh kuch dair baad uske peeche gaya tha. Yeh tay tha ke pistol
uske bag mein hoga, usne socha.

Jab woh ghar pahuncha, to bohot bura mood tha. Jab usne car gate ke andar ki, to
usne gatekeeper ko bulaya.

"Tum kisi ko bhi us larki ke bare mein nahi bataoge jo kal raat meri car mein thi,
samjhe? Asal mein, tumhare liye, main kahin gaya hi nahi," usne dhamkati hui awaz
mein kaha.

"Ji, sir. Main kisi ko kuch nahi bataunga," aadmi ne farmabardarana sar hilaya. Woh
bewakoof nahi tha ke aise baat karay.

Salar apne kamre mein gaya aur aram se so gaya. Uska kahin janay ka irada nahi tha
us din.

-------------------------

Woh gehri neend mein tha jab usne apne darwaze par achanak zor se dastak suni.

Woh uth baitha. Darwaza awaaz se jhatke kha raha tha. Usne deewar ghari ko aadhi
aankhon se dekha-it was 4:00 a.m. Aankhein malta hua, woh gusse se darwaze ki
taraf gaya. Gusse se, Salar ne darwaza khola to naukar ko wahan khara paaya.

"Kya masla hai-tum darwaze par kyun itna zor zor se maar rahe ho? Kya tum ise
todna chahte ho?" usne naukar par cheekha.

"Salar Sahib, police bahar khadi hai." Naukar ghusse se bhaara hua tha. Salar ki
neend aur gussa dono ghaib ho gaye. Usne foran samajh liya ke police yahan kyun
hai aur woh Imama ke ghar walon aur police ki itni tezi par hairan hua; aakhir woh
raat ke waqeat ke chand ghanton ke andar yahan kaise pohnch gaye?

"Police yahan kyun hai?" Salar ne apni awaaz ko pur-sukoon rakhte hue aur apna
chehra ghair-ehsaasi rakhte hue poocha.

"Woh kuch nahi keh rahe hain, sirf yeh keh rahe hain ke woh aapse milna chahte
hain. Lekin chowkidar ne unhe andar nahi aane diya. Usne kaha ke aap ghar par nahi
hain, lekin unke paas warrant hai. Woh kehte hain ke agar unhe andar nahi aane diya

164
gaya to woh tod kar andar aayenge aur sabko giraftaar kar lenge." Salar ne sukoon ki
saans li: chowkidar ne buhat samajhdaari se kaam liya tha. Usne zaroor samjha hoga
ke police yahan kal raat wali ladki ke baare mein poochhne aayi hai isliye na to
police ko andar aane diya aur na hi unhe Salar ke ghar par hone ka bataya.

"Fikar mat karo...mein isse kisi tarah sambhal lunga," Salar ne naukar se kaha aur
apne kamre mein wapas chala gaya. Agar yeh kisi aam shehri ka ghar hota, to police
andar ghus chuki hoti; lekin ghar ke size aur location ne unhe dara diya.

Agar Imama ke ghar wale itne asar waale nahi hote, to shayad police is sector mein
ghusne ki himmat nahi karti, aur wo bhi warrant ke saath-ab police ek mushkil mein
thi.

Salar ne foran Karachi mein Sikandar Usman ko phone milaya. "Papa, ek chhoti si
problem ho gayi hai. Police hamare gate ke bahar khadi hai aur mere liye arrest
warrant le kar aayi hai." Sikandar Usman ne almost cell phone gira diya. "Kyoon?"
"Mujhe nahi pata, Papa. Main so raha tha jab naukar ne mujhe uthaya aur inform
kiya. Kya mujhe jaakar police se poochhna chahiye ke woh mujhe kyun giraftaar
karna chahte hain?" Salar ne apne walid se itaat bhari awaaz mein poocha.

"Nahi, tumhein bahar jaane ya police ko andar bulaane ki zaroorat nahi hai. Apne
kamre mein raho; main tumhein thodi der mein call karta hoon." Sikandar Usman ne
phone jaldi se band kar diya. Salar ko sukoon mila ke police thodi der baad wahan
nahi hogi aur wahi hua. Das ya pandrah minute baad, naukar Salar ko inform karne
aaya ke police chali gayi. Naukar Salar se baat kar hi raha tha ke Sikandar ne usse
phone kiya.

"Kya police chali gayi?" usne jaise hi Salar ki awaaz suni poocha.

"Haan, woh chale gaye hain," Salar ne pur-sukoon aur mutmain awaaz mein kaha.

"Ab meri baat dhyan se suno. Tumhari maan aur main aaj raat ko Islamabad pohnch
rahe hain. Tab tak tumhe ghar se bahar nahi nikalna. Samajh gaye?" Salar ko apne
walid ki tone ajeeb lagi-it was cold and brusque.

"Haan, samajh gaya," usne kaha aur phone rakh diya. Jaise hi usne phone rakha, uski
nazar carpet par padi jahan ke footprints nazar aa rahe the. Naukar bhi un footprints
ko hairat se dekh raha tha kyunki woh kamre ke samne wali window se andar aaye
the.

165
"Yeh footprints saaf karo," Salar ne hukam diya.

Naukar bahar chala gaya. Salar ne sliding window kholi aur dekha. Usne theek
andaza lagaya tha-woh footprints verandah tak bhi aa rahe the. Imama ne deewar se
chalang lagai thi aur flowerbeds mein se guzri thi jahan se mitti andar aa gayi thi.
Woh nishan safed marble floor par bohot numayan thay. Salar ne gehri saans li. Usne
naukar ko carpet se nishan saaf karte hue dekha.

"Verandah mein bhi footprints hain. Unhe bhi saaf karo," Salar ne kaha.

Naukar se aur intezar nahi hua. "Yeh footprints kis ke hain?"

"Mere," Salar ne chid kar jawab diya.

Woh apne khane mein masroof tha jab Sikandar Usman aur Tayyaba ghar pohnche.
Unke chehray utare hue thay. Salar beparwah apna khana khata raha. Woh chup
chaap guzar gaye.

"Khana khatam kar lo to mere kamre mein aana," uske walid ne kaha jab woh bahar
ja rahe thay. Jawab dene ke bajaye, Salar ne fruit trifle lene ke liye haath barhaya.

Pandrah minute baad jab Salar apne walidain ke kamre mein gaya, Sikandar Usman
idhar-udhar chal rahe thay aur Tayyaba sofa par fikrmand baithi thi.

"Papa, aapne mujhe bulaya?" Salar ne kamre mein daakhil hote hi poocha.

"Baitho, phir batata hoon kyun bulaya," Sikandar ruk kar Tayyaba ke paas baith gaye.
"Imama kahan hai?" unhone foran poocha.

"Imama kaun?" agar koi aur hota to uske chehre par koi reakshan ya dar hota, lekin
Salar aik alag hi qisam ka tha.

Sikandar ka chehra gusse se laal ho gaya. "Tumhari behen!" unhone gurra kar kaha.

"Papa, meri behen ka naam Anita hai." Uske sakoon ki koi had nahi thi.

"Mujhe sirf ek baat batao-kitni dafa aur kitne tareeqon se tum mujhe zaleel karoge?"
Sikandar uth kar doosre sofa par baith gaye.

"Papa, aap kya keh rahe hain? Main kuch samajh nahi raha," Salar ne hairani se kaha.

"Jabke tum sab kuch achi tarah samajhte ho," uske walid ne tanziya jawab diya.
"Dekho, bina kisi bakwas ke mujhe batao ke Imama kahan hai-yeh mamla itna
seedha nahi jitna tum soch rahe ho."

166
"Papa, kis Imama ki baat kar rahe hain? Main kisi Imama ko nahi jaanta."

"Main Waseem ki behen ki baat kar raha hoon," Sikandar ne sakhti se kaha.

"Waseem ki behen?" woh soch mein pad gaya. "Oh haan, ab yaad aaya-jisne mujhe
pichle saal first aid di thi."

"Haan, wahi ladki. Aur ab jab tumhe yaad aa gaya, to batao ke woh kahan hai."

"Papa, woh apne ghar ya medical college ke hostel mein hogi. Mera usse kya lena
dena?" usne hairani se kaha.

"Uske walid ne tumhare khilaf uske aghwa ka case darj karaya hai."

"Mere khilaf? Mujhe yaqeen nahi aa raha! Mera usse kya lena dena?" Salar ki awaaz
aur chehra bemisaal sakoon mein thay.

"Yahi to mujhe jaan'na hai-tumhara uske sath kya taluq hai?"

"Papa, main usse jaanta bhi nahi. Do char dafa ke siwa, main usse mila bhi nahi. To
main uske aghwa se kaise taluq rakh sakta hoon? Mujhe to yeh bhi nahi pata tha ke
woh aghwa ho gayi hai."

"Salar, ab yeh natak band karo aur mujhe batao ladki kahan hai. Main Hashim
Mubeen se wada kiya hai ke main uski beti ko wapas launga."

"To phir apna wada pura karo aur uski beti ko wapas laao agar tum use dhoond
sakte ho. Lekin mujhe kyun tang kar rahe ho is mamle mein?"
"Suno Salar, agar tumhara aur Imama ka koi samajhota hai, to hum isse sambhal
lenge. Main khud tumhari shadi usse karwa doonga. Lekin filhaal, mujhe batao ke
woh kahan hai." Sikandar ki tone aur andaaz mein tabdeeli aayi.

"Khuda ke waste, Papa, bas karo! Kaisa samajhota, kaisi shadi... agar mera kisi se
samajhota hota, to kya main usse aghwa karta? Aapko kya lagta hai ke main Imama
ke sath koi samajhota banaunga? Woh meri type ki nahi hai," Salar ki awaaz buland
hui.

"Phir woh tum par aghwa ka ilzam kyun laga rahe hain?" "Yeh aap unse poochein,
mujhse nahi," Salar ne waise hi nak se jawab diya. "Aaj Hashim Mubeen yeh keh raha
hai. Kal koi aur aa kar aisa ilzam laga dega aur aap mujh par cheekhna shuru kar
denge. Maine aapko bataya tha ke jab police aayi to main so raha tha aur ab aap
mujhe grill kar rahe hain... Mujhe nahi pata tha ke Waseem ki behen aghwa hui hai...

167
woh mujh par ilzam kyun laga rahe hain? Unke paas kya saboot hain ke main is
aghwa mein mulawis hoon? Aur agar maan bhi lein ke maine yeh kiya, to kya main
ghar par baitha hota? Mujhe uske sath hona chahiye," usne talkhi se kaha.

"Mujhe tumhare case ke baare mein SP se pata chala. Main ne Karachi se Hashim
Mubeen ko phone kiya, lekin woh mujhse baat karne ko tayar nahi tha. Mujhe
minnat karni padi ke usse baat kar sakoon... usne kaha ke uski beti raat ko gayab hui
aur tum bhi raat bhar ghar se ghayab the aur subah lautay."

"To isme aghwa ka kahaan se taluq hai? Pehle to main kahin nahi gaya tha raat ko,
aur doosri baat, kisi ko aghwa karne ke liye unke ghar jaana padta hai aur maine kisi
ke ghar zabardasti nahi ki."

"Hashim Mubeen ke gatekeeper ne tumhe raat ko nikalte aur subah wapas aate
dekha."

"Uska gatekeeper jhoota hai," Salar ne zor se kaha.

"Hamara gatekeeper ne tumhe raat ko ek ladki ke sath nikalte dekha," Sikandar ne

gusse se daant pis kar kaha. Sikandar ek pal ke liye be-zubaan ho gaye.

Zahir hai, Sikandar ne ghar aate hi chowkidar se poochh-gachh ki thi.

"Woh meri ek dost thi," Salar ne Tayyaba ki taraf dekhte hue kaha.

"Kaunsi dost? Woh kaun thi? Mujhe uska naam aur pata batao."

"Maaf kijiyega, Papa, main yeh nahi kar sakta-yeh personal hai."

"To tum use yahan Islamabad mein sheher mein chhodne gaye the?"

"Haan."

"Jhoot mat bolo! Tum use Lahore le kar gaye the-SP ne mujhe bataya ke tum char
checkposts se guzray aur har jagah tumhara number note kiya gaya. Rastay mein
tum ek service station par ruke apni gari check karane aur us ladki ke sath khana bhi
khaya," Sikandar ne kaha, service station aur hotel ka naam batate hue. Salar ne apne
walid ko dekha lekin kuch nahi kaha.

"SP ne yeh sab information mujhe di. Usne ab tak Hashim Mubeen se baat nahi ki;
usne kaha ke main tumse baat karoon aur ladki ko wapas ghar bhej do, warna hum
uske ghar walon ko bata dein taake masla khatam ho jaye. Lekin tumhe kya lagta hai,

168
woh kab tak is baat ko Hashim Mubeen se chhupaye rakhega? Agar woh dosti aur
ehsan mein yeh sab chhupa bhi le, to Hashim Mubeen buhat resourceful hai aur asal
baat tak pohnch jayega-aur tum apni zindagi jail mein guzaroge." Sikandar ne darane
ki koshish ki-Salar ne Sikandar ki taraf dekha, lekin uska asar nahi hua.

"Ab jhoot band karo aur mujhe batao ke woh ladki kahan hai?"

"Woh ladki red light area mein hai."

"Kya!" Sikandar jhatka kha gaye.

"Maine usay wahan se uthaya tha aur wapas wahan hi chhod diya."

Uske walidain ka chehra zard ho gaya.

"Lekin woh Imama nahi thi. Main parso Lahore gaya tha aur us ladki ko ghar laya tha
raat guzarne ke liye; main usay kal raat wapas chhod aaya. Mere paas uska contact
number nahi hai, lekin agar aap mere sath Lahore chalein to main aapko uska pata
de sakta hoon aur police is baat ki tasdeeq kar sakti hai." Kamre mein sannaata cha
gaya. Sikandar aur Tayyaba Salar ko yaqeen nahi kar pa rahe thay aur woh window
ke bahar dekhta raha-pur-sukoon aur aaraam se.

"Mujhe yaqeen nahi ho raha ke tum aise kaam karoge... aise jagahon par jaoge,"
Sikandar ne lambay waqfay ke baad kaha.

"Sorry, Papa, lekin main karta hoon... aur yeh baat Imama ke bhai Waseem ko bhi
pata hai. Main kai weekends wahan gaya hoon aur Waseem ko yeh pata hai; aap
usse poochh sakte hain."

"Mujhe us ladki ka pata do," Sikandar ne ghusse se kaha.

"Main apne kamre se lekar aata hoon," Salar ne uthte hue kaha.

Jab woh apne kamre mein pohncha, Salar ne foran apne mobile se ek dost ko call
kiya aur situation samjhayi.

"Akmal, maine apne walid ko us ghar ka pata diya hai jahan hum jaate hain. Koi ladki
jo mujhe jaanti ho, usay is baat ka inform karo; main thodi der mein tumhein phir
call karta hoon." Phir usne jaldi se ek kagaz par address likha aur Sikandar ke kamre
mein le gaya. Usne kagaz apne walid ke samne rakha, jo gusse se usay jhapte hue
dekh rahe thay.

169
"Yahan se nikal jao!"
Salar aram se chal diya. Apne kamre mein pohnch kar, usne phir se Akmal ko call
kiya.

"Main tumhe wahan pohnch kar call karunga," Akmal ne kaha.

Salar apne bistar par aaram se let gaya aur Akmal ki call ka intezar karne laga jo
pandrah minute baad aayi.

"Salar, maine Saneeya ko tayar kar diya hai; maine usay sab kuch samjha diya hai."
Salar Saneeya ko jaanta tha.

"Akmal, ek pen aur kagaz lo aur jo main keh raha hoon likho," usne kaha aur phir
apne ghar ka zahiri naqsha aur location bayan karne laga.

"Yeh kya? Main tumhare ghar aa chuka hoon, mujhe pata hai..." Akmal ne hairan
hote hue poocha.

"Tumne dekha hai, Saneeya ne nahi. Main yeh sab details uske liye de raha hoon.
Agar police investigate karne aaye, to woh usse yeh sab verify karne ke liye poochegi
ke woh waqai mere sath Islamabad aayi thi. Woh raat ko car mein chhup kar aayi thi,
isliye usne zyada nahi dekha, lekin ghar ke andar aate waqt dono taraf lawns hain;
meri car laal hai aur yeh ek sports car hai; is ka number...," usne dictation dena shuru
kiya. "Hum chaar police check posts se guzray thay; woh safed shalwar qameez, safed
chadar aur kala pullover pehne hue thi. Rastay mein hum is gas station par rukay
thay," usne Akmal ko naam bataya. "Lekin woh jagahain fog ki wajah se clearly nahi
dekh saki."

Salar ne details dena jaari rakha, ek ke baad ek, service station ke aadmi ki
description se lekar chai serve karne wale ladke, jahan baith kar khana khaya aur
unke darmiyan hui guftagu tak. Usne apne ghar ke chhote se chhote detail bhi di,
porch se lekar apne kamre tak aur usmein maujood cheezon tak.

"Saneeya ko yeh sab yaad karne ko kaho," usne Akmal ko apne aakhri instructions
diye-phir call khatam kar di. Woh apne bistar par baitha yeh sab soch hi raha tha ke
Sikandar Usman kamre mein daakhil hue.

"Ladki ka naam kya hai?" "Saneeya," Salar ne foran jawab diya. Baghair kuch aur
kahe, Sikandar Usman kamre se chalay gaye.

170
Sikandar ke kamre se nikalne ke baad, Salar ko achanak us lawyer ka khayal aaya
jiske zariye unka Hashim Mubeen se raabta hua tha. Hasan ne woh lawyer hire kiya
tha jo Salar Sikandar ka naam bhi nahi jaanta tha, lekin Hasan ki is mamle mein
shamil hone ki wajah se Salar pareshaan tha-lawyer ke zariye Hashim Mubeen Hasan
tak pohnch sakta tha, aur Hasan ke zariye Salar tak.

Salar ne agla call Hasan ko milaya aur usay poori soorat-e-haal samjhai.

"Maine tumhe pehle hi warn kiya tha," Hasan ne react kiya. "Main Waseem aur uske
ghar walon ko achi tarah jaanta hoon aur unke asar aur contacts ka bhi andaza hai,"
usne kaha.

Salar ko yeh baat buri lagi. "Main tumhe apna mustaqbil predict karne ke liye call
nahi kiya-main sirf yeh batana chahta tha ke is situation ki danger ka tumhein andaza
ho."

"Kaunsa danger?" Hasan ne hairani se poocha.

"Woh tum tak lawyer ke zariye pohnch sakte hain aur phir asaani se mujh tak pohnch
jayenge."

"Yeh woh nahi kar sakte." Hasan ne befikri se kaha.

"Kyoon?"

"Kyoon ke maine sab kuch bohot ehtiyaat se kiya hai aur sab precautions liye hain.
Lawyer mujh tak bhi nahi pohnch sakta: jo address aur phone number maine usay
diya tha woh jhoota tha."

Salar muskuraya-usay Hasan se isi chaalaki ki umeed thi jo aise kaamon mein mahir
tha aur koi choti moti ghalti nahi karta tha. Hasan ne baat jari rakhi, "Main us lawyer
ke paas sirf ek dafa gaya hoon; uske baad main ne usay phone par contact kiya. Aur
jab main us se mila tha, mera getup itna mukhtalif tha ke mujhe pehchaan na sake
aur Hashim Mubeen se meri talluq nahi jor sake."

"Lekin agar woh pehchaan gaya to?"

"To... mujhe nahi pata, maine is bare mein nahi socha." Hasan ne bohot saafgoi se
kaha.

"Kya yeh behtar nahi hoga ke tum kuch din ke liye kahin door chalay jao aur aisa
lagao ke tum kisi bohot zaroori kaam ke liye gayab ho?"

171
"Mere paas ek aur behtar idea hai-us lawyer ko kuch paise de kar keh doon ke agar
Hashim Mubeen ya police uske paas poonchay to woh meri ghalat tasveer bayan
kare. Kam az kam, yeh unhein kuch arsa mislead rakhega aur mujhe koi pareshaani
nahi hogi. Waisay bhi, main kuch hafton ke liye England ja raha hoon," Hasan ne
bataya, "to agar woh aayenge bhi, to main un se door hoon, yeh baat yaqeen
rakhna."

"Agar tum itne pur-ittimad aur relaxed ho, to theek hai. Shayed woh tumhare paas
aaye hi na, lekin maine samjha ke tumhe inform karna zaroori hai." Salar call
disconnect karne hi wala tha.

"Waise, tumne usay Lahore mein kahan chhoda?"

"Ek road par-aur kahan chhodta? Usne apni koi details nahi di-na koi directions, na
location. Woh bas chali gayi."

"Yaar, tum kitne bewakoof ho-tumhe usay poochhne ki himmat karni chahiye thi."

"Shayed, lekin mujhe zaroorat nahi thi." Salar ne jaan bujh kar Imama ke sath apni
aakhri guftagu ka zikr nahi kiya.

"Mujhe hairat hai ke tum aise mamlaat mein shamil ho. Apni qisam ki ladkiyon ke
sath alag baat hai, lekin Waseem ki behen jaisi ladki ke sath-tumhara taste gir raha
hai."
"Main 'involved' hoon?" Salar ne phat padte hue kaha. "Tum sach mein pagal ho
gaye ho ya phir tum yeh bakwas mujhse nahi kehte. Involvement aur adventure mein
bohot farq hota hai, Mr. Hasan." Uski tone mein tanaz tha.

"Aur tumne yeh faasla ek hi chhalang mein tay kar liya, Mr. Salar?" Hasan ne bhi usi
tone mein jawab diya.

"Tum bilkul pagal ho, bas itna hi!" Salar cheekha.

"Aur tum mujhse bhi zyada pagal ho-warna tum aise bewaqoofana harkat ko
adventure nahi keh sakte." Hasan bohot zyada chir gaya tha.

"Sirf isliye ke tumne meri madad ki, iska yeh matlab nahi ke tum jo chaaho keh sakte
ho." Hasan ke remarks par Salar ko gussa aagaya.

172
"Main abhi tumhe nahi chhor raha; tum kis cheez ka hawala de rahe ho-mere taste
ke bare mein ya meri bewaqoofi ke bare mein?" Hasan ne pehle jaise poocha, usne
Salar ke ghusse ko farq nahi padta.

"Okay, shut up! Be-waqoofi ki batein band karo." Salar cheekha.

"Is waqt in baton ka zikr purani baton ko ukharne ke barabar hai," Hasan ne
sanjeedgi se kaha. "Maan lo ke police hum tak pohnch gayi aur Imama ke bare mein
poocha, to hum kya kahenge? Mujhe nahi lagta ke woh tumhari kahani maanenge ke
tumhe kuch nahi pata-tum kya karne ka plan banate ho?"

"Kuch nahi-main unhe wahi bataunga jo maine tumhe bataya," Salar ne apni awaaz
buland ki.

"Haan, aur yahin se masla shuru hoga-tumhare is bayan se: 'Mujhe Imama ke bare
mein kuch nahi pata.'" Hasan ne Salar ke alfaaz dohraye. "Tumhe achi tarah se pata
hona chahiye ke woh kisi bhi tarah se us tak pohnch jayenge."

"Woh baad ki baat hai. Main apni zindagi mein her farzi aur mumkin cheez par fikar
nahi karta. Jab aisa hoga, tab dekha jayega," Salar ne Hasan ke dar ko maamooli
samajh kar dismiss kar diya. "Mujhe ab sirf itni madad chahiye ke tum is puri baat ko
raaz mein rakho aur apne aap ko police ke changul se bacha ke rakho."

"Main yeh tumhare kahe bina bhi kar leta. Agar main phans gaya, to Waseem ka
samna nahi kar paoonga. Tumne mujhe is dafa sach mein mushkil mein daal diya
hai."

"Main tumhara gala ghota kyunki tum phir se dhamkion aur pashemoni ke fit mein ja
rahe ho-tum mere walid ki tarah behave kar rahe ho!" Salar ne achanak call khatam
kar di. Uski peshiyaan shikan se bhari hui thi jab pichli raat ke waqeat uske zehan
mein ghoomne lage.

-----------------------------------

"Main kabhi nahi maan sakta tha ke yeh itni neeche gir sakta hai. Red light area-
Allah maaf kare! Hamari pichli saat nasal mein kisi ne wahan kadam nahi rakha aur
yeh ladka-maine iske liye kya nahi kiya? Kya maine isse kisi cheez se mehroom

173
rakha? Aur phir yeh apni jaan lene ki koshish karta hai, aur ab yeh... Oh Allah, yeh aur
kitni door jayega?" Sikandar Usman ne apna sar apne haathon mein thaam rakha tha.

"Mujhe naukaron par bohot gussa aa raha hai-unhe us ladki ko ghar mein aane nahi
dena chahiye tha. Unhe hamaari ghaar-mawjoodgi mein nigrani rakhni chahiye,"
Tayyaba ne mukhtalif topic par baat karte hue kaha.

"Ghar ki nigrani aur ghar ke malik ki nigrani mein zameen aasman ka farq hota hai,"
Sikandar ne talkhi se jawab diya. "Is case mein, ghar nahi balki ghar ke malik ko
dekhna zaroori tha. Aur koi ladki ko ghar aate nahi dekha-usne kaha ke usne us ladki
ko usi din ghar laya aur phir wapas chhod diya. Chowkidar ne mana kiya ke usne koi
ladki Salar ke sath aate dekhi, lekin sab maan gaye ke usne ek ladki ke sath gari
chalaayi."

"Iska matlab usne ladki ko acche se chhupa rakha tha."

"Is ladke mein shaitan ghusa hua hai... tum jaanti ho. Sirf dua karo ke yeh mamla
yahin khatam ho jaye, Hashim Mubeen apni beti ko dhoond le aur hum is musibat se
nikal jayein-phir hum sochenge ke iske sath kya karna hai. Khuda jaane humse kya
ghalti hui ke hum aise saza bhugat rahe hain... mujhe waqai samajh nahi aa raha ke
kya karun."

Agli subah, woh jaaga aur rozana ki tarah college ke liye tayar ho gaya. Jab woh
nashta karne neeche aaya, to usne Sikandar Usman ko table par dekha aur hairan
hua. Aam tor par woh is waqt nashta nahi karte the kyunki unka office jaane ka waqt
baad mein hota tha. Salar thoda chonka ke unhe wahan dekha, lekin unke utare
chehre aur surkh aankhon se zahir tha ke unhone theek se neend nahi li thi.

Salar ko subah ke waqt tayar dekh kar, Sikandar ne tez tone mein poocha, "Kahan ja
rahe ho?"

"College."

"Kya tumhara dimag kharab ho gaya hai? Hamare galey mein yeh phanda latakane
ke baad tum college ja rahe ho? Dekho, tum kahin nahi ja rahe jab tak yeh mamla
sulajh nahi jata. Tumhe apne khatre ka andaza nahi hai?"

"Kaisa khatra?" Salar alert ho gaya.

174
"Main nahi chahta ke tum Hashim Mubeen ke haathon kuch bhugat ho, isliye behtar
hai ke tum ghar par hi raho." Sikandar ne sakhti se kaha. "Jab uski beti mil jayegi, tab
tum apni classes resume kar sakte ho."

"Agar uski beti ek saal tak nahi milti, to kya main ghar par hi rahoonga? Kya aapne
unhe meri statement ke bare mein nahi bataya?" Salar ne apne walid se sakhti se
poocha.

"Main ne bataya aur Saneeya ne bhi tumhari statement ko verify kiya." Uski awaaz
mein udaasi aur talkhi thi jab usne Saneeya ka naam liya. "Lekin Hashim Mubeen is
baat par insisit karta hai ke tumne uski beti ko aghwa kiya hai."

"To mujhe kya karna chahiye? Agar woh meri baat nahi maan raha to isme meri kya
ghalti hai-kya farq padta hai?" Salar ne table par rakha khana lene ke liye haath
barhaya.

"Shayad tumhe farq na padta ho-lekin mujhe padta hai. Tum Hashim Mubeen ko
nahi jaante-woh kitna asar rakhte hain aur kis had tak ja sakte hain, lekin main jaanta
hoon. Aur main nahi chahta ke tumhein koi nuksaan pohnche, isliye filhaal tum ghar
par hi raho," Sikandar Usman is dafa narmi se bole. Shayad unhe ehsaas ho gaya tha
ke unki sakhti ka Salar par koi asar nahi hoga.

"Lekin Papa, isse meri padhai par asar padega. Maaf kijiye, main ghar nahi reh sakta."
Sikandar ki narmi ka Salar par koi asar nahi hua.

"Mujhe tumhari padhai se koi matlab nahi-mujhe sirf yeh chahiye ke tum ghar par
raho, samjhe?" Sikandar achanak cheekh uthe.

"Kam az kam, aaj jaane do; mujhe kuch zaroori kaam niptaane hain." Salar apne walid
ke gusse par hairan tha.

"Tum driver ko keh sakte ho, woh tumhara kaam kar dega. Ya apne kisi dost ko
phone kar lo," Sikandar ne mazid sakhti se kaha.

"Lekin Papa, aap aisa nahi kar sakte..." Sikandar Usman bina sune kamre se bahar
chal diye. Salar zor se bolta raha aur phir frustration mein chup ho gaya. Usne socha
tha ke Saneeya ka zikar laane se uski family aur Hashim Mubeen dono ko yakeen ho
jayega aur us par se yeh ilzam uth jayega. Woh hairan hua jab uske walid ne bataya
ke Hashim Mubeen ab tak uski baat nahi maan rahe.

175
Jab usne nashta khatam kiya, to kuch der wahan baitha developments par sochta
raha. College na jaane ka matlab ghar mein band ho kar rehna tha, aur woh yeh nahi
chahta tha. Yeh soch uske mood ko kharab kar gayi. Usne khana ek taraf hataaya aur
apne kamre mein chala gaya.

--------------------------------------

"Sikandar Sahib, mujhe aap se baat karni hai," lounge mein newspaper parh rahe
thay jab khidmatgaar ne hichkichahat se approach kiya.

"Han, kya baat hai? Paise chahiye?" unho ne jab jawab diya, newspaper parhte hue.
Wo apne nokaroon ke sath sakht mohabbat rakhte thay.

"Nahi sir, woh nahi hai. Mujhe aapko kuch aur batana hai," usne halki si cheekh di.

"To bolo phir..." wo ab bhi akhbar mein masroof thay. Nasira pareshan thi. Soch
samajh kar usne faisla kiya tha ke Sikandar Usman ko Salar aur Imama ke bare mein
batana chahiye, kyunki mamla bohat mushkil ho gaya tha.

"Kyun nahi kehti?" Sikandar ne poocha, akhbar par nazar jama kar ke.

Lambi chup ke baad, usne kaha, "Sir, mujhe Salar Saab ke bare mein kuch batana
hai."

"Salar ke bare mein? Uske bare mein kya kehna chahti ho?" Sikandar ne akhbar table
par rakh kar usse dekha. Ab wo serious ho gaye thay.

"Mujhe aapko Salar Saab aur Imama Bibi ke bare mein kuch batana hai," Sikandar ka
dil tez daur liya.

"Un ke bare mein kya?" usne poocha.

"Kai din pehle, Salar Saab ne mujh se apna mobile phone diya aur kaha ke mein usse
Imama Bibi ke paas bhejon apni beti ke zariye," Sikandar Usman ne jaga kar di:
Hashim Mubeen ke itne zid pe aur uske bura khayal bilkul sahi samjhe gaye thay.

"Phir?" usko laga jaise uski awaz kisi door ke gufa se aati ho.

176
"Mein ne inkar kiya, keh ke mein aisa nahi kar sakti, lekin usne dhamki di. Usne kaha
ke mujhe nikaalwa denge, to majboor hokar mein raazi ho gayi aur mobile Imama
Bibi tak pohancha diya."

Apne aap ko mehfooz rakhne ke liye, Nasira ne apni bayan mein jhoot bhi shamil
kiya. "Phir kuch din baad, usne mujhe kuch kaghazat diye, jo Imama Bibi ko dena tha
aur mujh se unko turant wapas lana tha, to meine unhe apni beti ko de diye aur
usne jo kaha tha woh kiya. Mein ne usse poocha ke ye kaghazat kya hain lekin usne
bataya nahi. Mujhe shak tha ke ye nikaahnama ho sakta hai kyunki us waqt uske
kamre mein paanch log maujood thay aur un mein se aik maulvi bhi tha."

Sikandar Usman ne thand se kapna shuru kar diya jab usne yeh tafseel suni.

"Itni dair pehle ye sab hua tha?" unho ne sawal kiya.

"Imama Bibi ke chale jaane se kuch din pehle, sir," usne jawab diya.

"To phir pehle kyun nahi bataya sab kuch?" wo sakhti se kaha.

"Sir, mein bohat dari hui thi... Salar Saab ne mujhe dhamki di thi ke agar mein aapko
ya kisi ko bhi bataungi to wo mujhe nikaalwa denge," usne jawab diya.

"Un logon mein se koi aur kuch jaanta hai?" usne poocha.

"Sirf mein, mera shohar aur meri beti jaante hain, sir," usne jaldi se kaha.

"Kisi aur nokar ko kuch pata hai?"

"Khuda maaf kare, sir! Mein ne kisi aur ko kyun bataungi? Mein ne kisi ko kuch nahi
bataya," usne jaldi jawaab diya.

"Mein tumhare kiye ki saza baad mein doonga, lekin samajh lo-tum kisi ko is bare
mein kabhi kuch nahi bataogi. Apni zubaan ko band rakho warna mein Hashim
Mubeen aur police ko bata doonga ke tum is tamam mamle mein shamil ho, tum ne
unko gumrah kiya, tum ne messages bheje. Phir socho ke police tumhare aur tumhari
family ke saath kya kar sakti hai-tum sab apni zindagi jail mein guzarna padega."

Sikandar gusse mein dhamki di.

"Na sir, kabhi nahi... agar maine is bare mein dobara kisi ko kuch bataya to meri
zubaan kaat dena," Nasira dar se kaanp rahi thi.

177
"Bas, ab tum ja sakti ho. Baad mein baat karta hoon," Sikandar ne use sakht andaz
mein dismiss kiya.

Wo ghabraya hua tha aur idhar udhar chalne laga. Asman par zameen gir gayi thi:
pehli dafa usko ehsaas hua ke Salar ne unhe aur unki family ko bewaqoofi se ullo
banaya tha. Wo bar bar unse jhoot bol raha tha, pure jazbe ke saath aur dhoka de ke
unhe dhoka diya. Agar khidmatgaar na hoti to wo unki baat maan lete aur khush ho
lete ke uska koi taluq Imama aur uski gayabgi se nahi hai.

Kuch din ghar par qaid ke baad Salar ne college ki classes dubara shuru ki thi. Uske
walid ko pata tha ke Salar par nazar rakhi ja rahi hai aur wo janta tha ke Hashim
Mubeen ko ye sab maloom hone par kya hoga-wo ye bhi bohat achhi tarah janta
tha. Usko pehle se aaraam mila tha lekin ab uski jazbaton ka pata tha ke wo
kaghazat ke asli maqsad, paanch logon ke maujoodgi Salar ke kamre mein aur Salar
aur Imama ke talluqat ki asalat pehle se maloom tha. Is waqt usko Salar ko galey
laga ke maar dena chahiye ya goli maar deni chahiye lekin usne jana ke wo aisa kuch
nahi kar sakta kyun ke uske bachon mein us se zyada Salar ko mohabbat thi. Usne
Salar ke jhoot se aisa dekha ke usko lagne laga ke wo Salar pe kabhi bhi bharosa
nahi kare ga, aur Salar ko apne hawalay pe andhi raat ke tor par rakhe ga jese Salar
ne unke saath kiya tha.

-----------------------------------------------

"Us ne Imama se kaise mila?" Sikandar Usman, apne kamre mein bechaini se idhar
udhar chalte hue, Tayyaba se poocha.

"Mujhe kaise pata hoga? Wo bacha nahi hai ke usse idhar udhar le jaya jaye," usne
thoda gussayi ke saath jawab diya.

"Maine tumhe baar baar samjhaya tha ke uski nazar rakhna chahiye... lekin agar tum
apne kaam se waqt nikaal sakti ho to..."

"Ye zimmedari sirf meri nahi hai, Tayyaba ne apne ghusse se kaha. "Aap bhi apni
activities pe control rakhen-har cheez ko mere sar pe kyun daal rahe hain?"

178
"Main tumhe ilzaam nahi laga raha hoon, aur jo bhi hai, is jhagde ko khatam karo.
Kya tumhe pata hai ke ye Imama ke saath shadi kya matlab hai? Hashim Mubeen ko
pata chala to wo bohat naraz honge."

"Main abhi bhi hairaan hoon... Salar ko kya samajh ke ye sab kiya--usne humare
samajh ki halat ka koi khayal nahi kiya," Sikandar apni biwi ke saath baithe thay, unke
masail ke bare mein chintit.

"Abhi ek problem se nikle hi nahi aur wo doosri samne la raha hai. Ye masla shayad
pichle saal shuru hua jab usne apni khudkushi ki koshish ke baad usse bachaya tha.
Humari bewaqoofi thi ke humne dhyaan nahi diya, warna ye mamla pehle hi hal ho
sakta tha."

"Aur mujhe yakeen hai ke is larki ne apni marzi se is mamle mein shamil kiya hai... ye
itna asaan nahi hota ke kisi ko zabardasti se shadi karwaya jaaye. Dekho ke Hashim
Mubeen Salar par jo ilzaam laga rahe hain--jese unki beti bilkul be gunaah hai!"
Tayyaba phir se garam ho gayi.

"Jo bhi ho, ye humare bete ki galti hai--agar uske kaam nahi hote to wo is musibat
mein nahi hota," Sikandar ne seedha kaha.

"Ab tumhe iska hal nikalna hoga," Tayyaba ne kaha.

"Itna bura nahi hai jese tum sochti ho," Tayyaba ne kaha. "Police ya Hashim Mubeen
ke paas ab tak koi saboot nahi hai Salar ko giriftaar karne ke liye--aur saboot ke
baghair wo kuch nahi kar sakte."

"Tumne socha hai ke jab unko saboot mil jaaye to kya hoga? Uske baad?" Sikandar
Usman ne jawab diya.

"Tum toh keh rahe ho ke yeh sab ho sakta hai--lekin ab tak toh kuch nahi hua hai
aur ho sakta hai ke kabhi na ho bhi."

Sikandar is par sochte rahe.

"Agar usne itne tak hume dhoka diya hai toh shayad uska doosra dhoka ye bhi ho ke
wo ab us larki se rabta na rakhe. Shayad, wo usse rabta rakhe..."

"Shayad--toh phir hum kya karenge?"

"Agar main usse baat karta hoon toh wo mere saath jhoot bolta rahega, wo ek bada
jhoota hai," Sikandar ki awaaz mein nafrat thi.

179
"Abhi uske BBA complete karne ke kuch mahine hain, phir main use bahar bhej
doonga. Kam az kam Hashim Mubeen ke ilzaam se bachne ke liye," Sikandar ne
cigarette peena shuru kiya.

"Magar tum bhool rahe ho kuch, Sikandar," Tayyaba ne thandi awaaz mein kaha,
thodi der ki chup ke baad.

"Wo kya hai?" Sikandar ne jaldi se sawal kiya.

"Salar ki chupi shadi Imama se: is ke bare mein jo bhi karna hai, wo tumhe karna
hoga," Tayyaba ne serious ho ke kaha.

"Aur kya kar sakte hain is ke ilawa ke usse talaaq ki darkhwast karen?" Sikandar ne
finality ke saath kaha.

"Jab wo shadi hi nahi maan raha, toh kya wo talaaq maanega?"

"Jab main use saboot dikhaunga, toh uske paas koi aur raasta nahi hoga ke wo isko
maan le."

"Aur agar wo maan leta hai ke usne usse shadi ki hai lekin talaaq nahi dena chahta?"

"Phir hume koi raasta nikalna hoga--chahe wo khud talaaq de ya hum usse majboor
karen, main is mamle ko khatam kar doonga. Aisi shadiyaan sirf masail ka buniyaadi
sabab hoti hain. Is mamle ko ek bar dafa khatam karna hoga--agar nahi toh maine
faisla kar liya hai ke main use puri tarah se wasihat se hata doonga."

-------------------------------------------------

Hasan Islamabad ke ek hotel mein tha jab uske father ne use ghar jaldi aane ke liye
bulaya. Unki tone ajeeb thi, lekin Hasan ne is par zyada dhyan nahi diya. Jab woh
thodi der baad ghar pahuncha, toh Sikandar Usman ke gaadi ko porch par dekh kar
hairat hui. Usko Salar ke sabhi gaadiyon ke make aur registration numbers pata the.

"Sikandar Uncle ke paas mere is mamle mein koi saboot nahi hai, isliye mujhe chinta
karne ki zarurat nahi hai. Shayad woh sirf isliye aaye hain kyunki main Salar ka dost
hoon aur unke kuch sawalon ka jawab de sakta hoon. Main bahut shaant aur
tajarbahgar tareeke se unke sawalon ka jawab dunga, taki mere papa ke nazron mein
mujhe shak na ho," Hasan ne sab soch samajh kar tayari ki thi.

180
Hasan confident aur composed hokar study mein dakhil hua. Uske father, Qasim
Faruqi aur Sikandar coffee pee rahe thay. Hasan ne dekha ke unke chehre par ajeeb
si pareshani aur seriousness thi.

"Uncle Sikandar, kaise hain aap? Aapne bahut time baad hamare ghar aane ka faisla
kiya hai," Hasan ne khushi bhari salaam diya. Sikandar aur Qasim ne khamoshi
maintain ki, Hasan ke cheerful salaam ka koi jawab nahi diya, lekin woh casual taur
par baat karta raha.

"Baitho," Qasim ne sakht awaz mein kaha. "Sikandar ke paas tumse kuch sawalat
hain: tumhe sahi jawab dena hoga. Agar tum jhooth bolte ho toh Sikandar ko meri
taraf se police ke paas le jaane ka mera ijazat hai. Mere hisab se, tum jahan marzi
jaao," Qasim Faruqui ne seedha mudde par aana shuru kiya.

"Papa, aap kis baat ki baat kar rahe hain? Mujhe samajh nahi aaya," Hasan ne acting
karte hue koshish ki, lekin uska dil tez daud raha tha. Situation utni seedhi nahi thi
jitna woh sochta tha.

"Zyada tez dimaag mat chalao," unke father ne unhe daanta, "Sikandar, jo chahe
poocho--main dekhunga ke yeh kaise jhoot bolta hai."

"Kya tumne Salar ki shaadi Imama ke saath attend ki thi?"

"Uncle--kaisi shaadi? Kis shaadi ki baat kar rahe hain?" Hasan ne natak kiya jaise usko
surprise hua ho.

"Wahi shaadi jo mere ghar mein, meri gair maujoodgi mein hui thi, jiske liye papers
Imama ke paas bheje gaye thay,"

"Uncle, please! Aap mujh par ilzaam laga rahe hain. Main toh aapke ghar zaroor aata
hoon lekin mujhe Salar ki shaadi ke baare mein kuch nahi pata. Mere hisab se, usne
aisa kuch nahi kiya hai. Mujhe woh ladki bhi nahi pata jisko aap keh rahe hain... ho
sakta hai Salar kisi ladki se jude hain, lekin mujhe iske baare mein kuch nahi pata--
woh mujhe har cheez nahi batata,"

Sikandar Usman aur Qasim Faruqi ne chup chap uski baat suni. Jab woh ruk gaya toh
Sikandar Usman table par rakhe ek envelope se kuch papers nikale. Hasan ka chehra
udaas ho gaya--woh Imama aur Salar ke nikahnama the, shadi ke document.

181
"Dhyaan se dekho--ye tumhara signature hai, hai na?" Sikandar thanda awaz mein
poochta raha. Agar Hasan pehle se hi apne father ke samne interrogate nahi hota
toh woh seedha inkaar kar deta, lekin ab woh fas gaya tha.

"Ye mera signature hai, lekin maine isko nahi kiya," Hasan stammered.

"Toh phir kaun kiya--Salar ne, ya tumhare liye koi bhoot?" Qasim ne sarcasm bhari
awaz mein poocha.

Hasan speechless tha; nervously apne interrogators ko dekh raha tha. Usne kabhi
nahi socha tha ke Sikandar Usman aise nikah ke papers unke saamne rakhenge. Usko
toh yeh bhi nahi pata tha ke woh papers kahan se laye hain--Salar se ya phir... uski
saari chaturai aur chaalakian kuch bhi nahi kar saki.

"Toh tum ab bhi manoge nahi ke Salar aur Imama ki shaadi tumhari maujoodgi mein
hui thi?" Qasim Faruqui ne Hasan se poocha.

"Papa, mujhe ismein koi haath nahi hai; yeh sab Salar ki zidd thi. Usne mujhe
majboor kiya," Hasan ne tabhi confess karne ka faisla kiya. Ab chupane aur jhoot
bolne se kuch fayda nahi tha, aur jhoot bolna unki position ko kamzor kar deta.

"Maine usko samjhane ki koshish ki lekin..." Qasim Faruqui ne usko beech mein hi
kaat diya. "Abhi waqt samjhane ya justify karne ka nahi hai. Bas mujhe batao ke
Imama ko Salar ne kahan chhupa rakha hai."

"Papa, mujhe uske bare mein kuch nahi pata," Hasan ne jhat se kaha.

"Tum phir se jhoot bol rahe ho."

"Main sach keh raha hoon, Papa. Main sach mein kuch nahi jaanta. Usne usse Lahore
mein chhod diya hai."

"Tumhe lagta hai ke hum Salar ki baat maan lenge ke usne ladki se shaadi ki aur phir
use Lahore ke kisi raste par chhod diya? Humhe bewakoof samajh rahe ho? Jhoot
mat bolo!" Qasim Faruqui gusse mein the.

"Main tumhe sach keh raha hoon, Papa. Kam az kam, usne yahi bataya tha. Ke usne
use Lahore ke kisi raste par chhod diya hai."

"Tumne usse poocha nahi ke usne use shaadi kyun ki, agar yahi karna tha?"

182
"Papa, usne uski madad ke liye usse shaadi ki thi. Uski family usse zabardasti kisi aur
se shaadi karane ki dhamki de rahi thi. Imama ne Salar se contact kiya aur uski
madad mangi--woh maan gaya. Usko temporary taur par shaadi karne ke liye
chahiye thi, taaki woh uske parents ko manaye agar woh uski shaadi karwana
chahein," Hasan ne sachai se nafrat ke saath ye sab bataya. Ab usne faisla kar liya tha
ke woh unko jo bhi jaanta tha woh bata dega.

"Agar uski family ne uski jabran bandish ki thi toh usse ek bailiff ke through riha kiya
ja sakta hai. Yahaan koi pyaar ki shaadi nahi hai kyunki woh kisi aur se mohabbat
karti hai. Agar tum nikahnama ko dhyan se padho toh dekho, usne talaaq ka haq bhi
apne paas rakha hai, taaki woh bina Salar se contact kiye bhi talaaq ka case chala
sake."

"Bas itna hi hai--ya aur kuch bhi hai?" Qasim Faruqui ne poocha, Hasan ne chup
chaap unhe dekha, kuch na kehkar.

"Main is sundar choti si kahani ko ek shabd bhi nahi maan raha hoon. Main bacha
nahi hoon ise nigalne ke liye. Tumhe Sikandar Usman ko Imama tak pohanchane
mein madad karni hogi," Qasim ne faisla bhara tone mein kaha.

"Main kaise kar sakta hoon, Papa, jab mujhe Imama ke baare mein kuch nahi pata?

"Kaise? Tumhe usse pata lagana hoga. Bas itna kehna chahta hoon ke tumhe use
dhundna hoga.
"Papa, please yakeen karain ke mujhe Imama ke bare mein kuch nahi pata. Mera to
sirf Salar ke nikah mein madad karne se taluq tha!" Hasan ne dard bhari awaaz mein
kaha.

"Tum Salar ke bohat qareeb the, is uski chhupi shadi mein uski madad ki, aur ab jab
uski biwi ghar se bhaag gayi hai to kehte ho ke tumhe uski khabar nahi hai? Yeh
baat mujhe tasleem nahi hoti, Hasan," Qasim ne sakhti se kaha.

"Agar tumhe maloom nahi hai, phir bhi tumhe uski khabar nikalni hogi. Salar se
poocho, woh tumhe bata dega," Qasim ne tawajjo se kaha.

"Woh mujh se bohat kuch chhupata hai, Papa," Hasan ne jawab diya.

"Mujhe uski aur uske baaki raaz se koi matlab nahi hai. Sirf yeh jaanna hai ke Imama
kahan hai. Jo bhi zaroorat ho, karo lekin usko pata na chale ke Sikandar ko is raaz ka
pata hai ya ke maine tumse is bare mein baat ki hai. Agar pata chala ke Salar ko bata

183
diya gaya hai, to yaad rakho ke iska kya natija hoga. Mein ne Sikandar Usman ko
Hashim Mubeen ke bare mein batane ki ijaazat di hai. Ab iske baad Hashim tumhe
kaise deal karte hain, seedha ya phir police ke zariye, yeh tumhari marzi hai. Tumhe
ab chunna hai ke ya to Salar ke saath dosti rakho ya phir is ghar mein raho," Qasim
ne akhri tehqiqat se kaha.

"Papa, mein koshish karunga Imama ke bare mein kuch pata karne ki. Main Salar se
baat karunga lekin usko pata na chale ke Sikandar Uncle ne mujh se is baare mein
dabao dala hai," Hasan ne basi awaz mein kaha, apne apko bhi hairat mein mahsoos
karte hue.

-------------------------------------------

Salar kuch dino ke liye ghar mein hi raha, lekin phir usne zidd ki aur apni baat
manwa li. Usne college mein classes dobara shuru kar di. Hashim Mubeen aur uski
family ne Imama ko dhoondhne ke liye asman zameen ek kar di thi. Woh poore
mamle ko chhupane ki koshish kar rahe the, lekin Sikandar ko yeh sab police aur
naukaron se pata chal gaya. Mubeens Lahore mein Imama ke doston se bhi raabta
karne ki koshish kar rahe the.

Phir Salar ne akhbar mein ek 'wanted' notice dekha, jisme ek 'Javaid' ka pata batane
par achi khasi inaam rakhi thi. Salar is naam se waqif tha kyun ke yeh Hasan ne
lawyer ko Imama ke shohar ka naam bataya tha. Zaroor yeh ad Imama ke ghar walon
ne di thi, lekin contact number unka nahi tha. Salar ko yakeen tha ke police lawyer
tak pohanch gayi thi, jo 'Javaid' ke details nahi de sakti thi. Sirf Salar, lawyer aur
Hasan jaante the ke Javaid Babar naam ka koi asal mein shaks nahi tha. Salar thoda
mutmain tha ke usne Hashim Mubeen ko kuch had tak gumrah kar diya tha.

Is doran, Salar Imama ke call ka intezar karta raha. Usne usay kai dafa phone kiya
lekin hamesha uska phone band milta. Usay samajh nahi aata tha ke woh kahan ho
sakti hai--Hasan ke aksar sawalat is tension ko aur barha dete. Kabhi kabhi woh react
karta, "Mujhe kaisay pata ke woh kahan hai ya kyun baat nahi kar rahi? Mujhe lagta
hai tumhein usmein mujhse zyada dilchaspi hai." Usay andaza nahi tha ke Hasan ke
sawalat aur tension kisi pressure ki wajah se thay. Hasan buhat stress mein tha.

184
Salar sochta tha ke Imama shayad Jalal se mil chuki ho aur shayad usne usse shadi
bhi kar li ho, halaan ke usne Imama se jhoot bola tha Jalal ki shadi ke bare mein--
lekin usay yakeen tha ke woh uspar bharosa nahi karti. Usne zaroor Jalal se dobara
raabta kiya hoga. Salar chahta tha ke woh Jalal se raabta kare ya usse mile, bas ek
dafa. Usay pata karna tha ke Imama Jalal ke saath hai ya nahi, lekin is ka koi tareeqa
nahi tha.

Sikandar Usman ne Salar par raat din nazar rakhi hui thi aur usay pata tha ke woh
akela nahi tha jo Salar par nazar rakha hua tha; Hashim Mubeen Ahmed bhi yeh hi
kar rahe the. Agar Salar ne Lahore jana decide kiya hota, uska baap usay jaane nahi
deta--aur agar wo allow bhi kar deta, toh shayad wo bhi sath chalta, jo Salar nahi
chahta tha. Waqt guzarne ke sath, Salar ka is mamle mein dilchaspi kam hoti ja rahi
thi. Soch kar usay apni harkat aur woh adventure bewakoofi lagti thi jo usay mehngi
pari thi. Sikandar aur Tayyaba hamesha ghar mein hi rehte thay aur usay bahar jaane
ke liye unse ijaazat leni padti thi.

Hasan mushkil se usay milne aata. Salar is situation se puri tarah bore ho gaya tha.
Raat ko woh internet surf kar raha tha jab usay apne cell phone par ek call aayi. Usne
casually uthaya aur incoming call number dekha—aise laga jaise usay bijli ka jhatka
laga ho. Yeh Imama thi, us cell phone se call kar rahi thi jo usne usay diya tha.

"So you remembered me after all." Aur usne apne saans ke neeche se seeti bajai.
Achanak, woh puri tarah jaag gaya, taaza—the ennui jo thodi der pehle usay sataya
tha, gaayab ho gaya.
"Mujhe yaqeen tha ke tum mujhe kabhi call nahi karogi: itna time kyun laga?" usne
kaha.
"Mujhe kuch arse se tumhe phone karne ka mann tha, lekin kar nahi saki," Imama ne
jawab diya.
"Kyun? Kya masla tha? Tumhare paas mera cell phone tha." "Masla tha." Uska jawab
mukhtasir tha.
"Ab kahan ho?" Salar ne kuch hairaan hokar poocha.
"Childish mat bano, Salar. Tum jaante ho main tumhe nahi bataungi, toh kyun
poochte ho? Waise, meri family kaisi hai?" Salar is ghair mutawaqqa sawal se hairaan
reh gaya.
"Oh, woh theek hain—bohat khush, maze mein hain," usne uska mazaq urate hue
kaha. "Tum bohat achi beti ho. Apni family ke bare mein sochti ho ghar se bhaagne

185
ke baad bhi. Bohat acha!" Dusri taraf khamoshi thi. Phir usne kaha "Waseem kaisa
hai?"
"Mujhe nahi pata, lekin woh theek hoga, bohat acha, mujhe lagta hai. Woh bura
kaise ho sakta hai?" usne usi mazak udane wale lehje mein kaha.
"Mujhe umeed hai ke unhone discover nahi kiya ke tumne meri madad ki." Salar ko
Imama ka lehja kuch ajeeb laga.
"Discover? Imama, meri jaan, police usi din mere darwaze par aa gayi thi jab main
tumhe Lahore chhod kar wapas aya. Tumhare walid ne mere khilaf tumhe aghwa
karne ka FIR darj kar diya." Uska lehja mazaq urane wala tha. "Socho, kya mere jaisa
shaks kisi ko kidnap kar sakta hai, kam az kam tumhein, jo kisi ko bhi, kabhi bhi,
kahin bhi goli maar sakti ho."
Usne baat jari rakhi, "Tumhare walid puri koshish kar rahe hain mujhe zindagi bhar
ke liye jail mein daalne ki, lekin mujhe lagta hai main is qismat se bach gaya hoon.
Mujhe ghar se college aur wapas aate hue nazar rakhi ja rahi hai. Mujhe ajeeb calls
aati hain. Har tarah ki cheezen ho rahi hain. Main kya kahoon siwaye iske ke tumhare
ghar walon ne hamari zindagi ko azaab bana diya hai."

"Mujhe nahi laga tha ke woh tum tak pohanch jayenge," Imama ne udasi se kaha.
"Mujhe laga tha ke woh tum par shak nahi karenge. Mujhe tumhe in sab masail mein
dalne ka afsos hai. Mera irada pehle apni position ko secure karna tha aur phir
tumhe call karna tha. Ab main waqai mehfooz hoon." Salar curious interest ke sath
uski baat sun raha tha.

"Main tumhara mobile ab istimaal nahi karungi aur isay wapas bhejna chahti hoon,
lekin abhi yeh mumkin nahi hai. Aur main tumhein kuch paise bhi bhejoongi jo
tumne mere liye kharch kiye." "Paise bhejne ki zaroorat nahi...aur tum mobile bhi
rakh sakti ho aur istimaal kar sakti ho; mere paas ek aur hai," Salar ne uski baat kaat
kar kaha.

"Nahi, mujhe tumhara mobile istemal karne ki zaroorat nahi," Imama ne kaha. Thodi
dair ke baad, usne kaha, "Main chahti hoon ke tum mujhe talaq ke papers aur
nikahnama ki copy bhejo jo main pehle tumse le nahi saki."

"Mujhe yeh kahan bhejne hain?" Salar ne uski demand ka jawab diya. Achanak usay
yaad aaya ke woh talaq maang rahi thi, jo haq usay nikahnama mein diya gaya tha
jaise usne kaha tha.

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"Tum yeh papers us lawyer ko bhej sakte ho jo tumne hire kiya tha, aur uska naam
aur address mujhe do taki main wahan se le sakoon." Salar muskuraya: woh buhat
ehtiyat barat rahi thi. "Lekin mera us lawyer se seedha raabta nahi hai aur na main
usay jaanta hoon, toh main papers kaise bhej sakta hoon?"

"Phir apne us dost ke through bhej do jisne lawyer arrange kiya tha." Woh apni
mukam ka pata nahi dena chahti thi.

"Tum talaq kyun chahti ho?" Salar ne puri tayyari se poocha. Dusri taraf khamoshi thi:
usne yeh sawal expect nahi kiya tha.

"Talaq kyun chahti hoon? Yeh bohot ajeeb sawal hai kyunki humne agree kiya tha ke
main tumhe talaq doongi," usne thodi hairani se jawab diya.

"Lekin woh bohot pehle ki baat thi--aur ab main tumhe talaq nahi dena chahta,"
usne sanjeedgi se kaha. Usay mehsoos hua ke Imama ke pairo tale zameen khisak
gayi thi.

"Tum kya keh rahe ho?" "Main tumhe keh raha hoon, pyari Imama, ke main tumhe
talaq nahi dena chahta, aur main nahi doonga." Usne usay ek aur jhatka diya.

"Tumne mujhe talaq ka haq pehle hi de diya hai," usne jawab diya.

"Kab? Kahan? Kaise?" Salar ne pur-sukoon lehje mein kaha.

"Tumhe yaad hona chahiye ke nikah se pehle maine tumhe wazeh taur par kaha tha
ke main nikahnama mein talaq ka clause rakhwana chahti hoon. Chahe tum talaq na
bhi do, main khud talaq ke liye court ja sakti hoon," usne dawa kiya.
"Yeh haq tum use kar sakti thi agar main ne tumhein diya hota—lekin maine nahi
diya. Tum ne nikah ke papers dekhe jab tum ne sign kiye; wahan aisa koi clause nahi
hai. Tum ne zaroor dekha hoga; warna tum mujhse talaq ke bare mein baat nahi kar
rahi hoti." Dusri taraf phir se khamoshi thi. Usne andher mein teer chalaya tha, lekin
woh nishane par tha. Imama ne waqai papers dhyan se nahi padhe thay sign karne
se pehle. Salar ko is halat mein kuch maza aa raha tha.

"Tumne mujhe dhoka diya," usne kuch dair baad kaha.

"Haan, bilkul waise hi jaise tumne mujhe pistol dikha kar diya tha," usne jawab diya.
"Mujhe lagta hai ke tum aur main sath mil kar achi zindagi guzar sakte hain. Hum

187
dono mein itni khamiyan aur kami hain ke hum ek dusre ko mukammal kar sakte
hain." Uska lehja phir se sanjeeda tha.

"Zindagi bhar sath, Salar, aur woh bhi tumhare sath? Naamumkin!"

"Mujhe Napoleon ka wo quote karna chahiye ke 'impossible' meri dictionary mein

nahi hai. Ya phir tumhe request karun ke aao mil kar naamumkin ko mumkin
banayen." Woh phir se mazak kar raha tha.

"Tumne mujhe buhat ehsan diye hain, Salar...yeh akhri ehsan kar do aur mujhe talaq
de do."

"Nahi. Main tum par meherbani kar kar ke thak gaya hoon aur ab aur nahi kar sakta,
aur yeh ehsan jo tum maang rahi ho, yeh mumkin nahi." Usne sanjeedgi se kaha.

"Main tumhari type ki nahi hoon, Salar. Hamare lifestyles bohot mukhtalif hain; warna
shayad tumhari offer par ghour karti, lekin ab ke halat mein yeh mumkin nahi. Please
mujhe talaq de do," usne naram, lagbhag minatein karte hue kaha. Salar ko hansne
ka mann ho raha tha.

"Agar tum meri offer ko consider karne ka wada karo, toh main apna lifestyle badal
loonga," usne gently kaha.

"Samajhne ki koshish karo...hum mein kuch bhi common nahi hai: hum bilkul
mukhtalif hain, hamari zindagi ki philosophy alag hai. Hum saath nahi reh sakte."
Imama ne thak kar kaha.

"Nahi, mujhe aisa nahi lagta. Hamari zindagi ki philosophy waqai bohot milti hai.
Tumhein iski fikar nahi karni chahiye—even agar kuch farq hain bhi, toh woh choti
choti adjustments se theek ho sakti hain." Usne aise kaha jaise apne behtareen dost
se baat kar raha ho.

"Waisay bhi, mujhme kya kami hai? Main tumhare ex-fiancé jitna handsome nahi
hoon shayad, lekin Jalal Ansar jitna sadha bhi nahi. Tum mere family ko achi tarah
jaanti ho, aur tumhein andaza nahi ke meri professional future kitni bright hogi. Main
har tarah se Jalal se behtar hoon." Salar ne apne alfaaz par zor diya. Uski aankhen
chamak rahi thi aur uske honton par ek shaitani muskurahat thi jab usne Imama ko
chidhaya, jo uske comments se pareshan thi.

188
"Koi Jalal ki jagah nahi le sakta mere nazar mein—sabse kam tum—kabhi nahi." Uski
awaaz uski chirchiraahat ko zahir kar rahi thi.

"Kyun?" usne masoomiyat se poocha.

"Mujhe tum pasand nahi! Tum yeh kyun nahi samajh rahe? Agar tumne mujhe talaq
nahi di, toh main court jaungi," usne dhamki di.

Salar zor se hans pada. "Tumhare liye darwaza hamesha khula hai! Tum kabhi bhi ja
sakti ho. Aur kahan acha hoga milne aur face to face baat karne ke liye? Kitna maza
aayega!" Woh is sparring ka maza le raha tha.

"Tumhein yaad rakhna chahiye ke sirf main nahi, tumhare walidain bhi wahan court
mein honge," usne usay chetaya.

"Salar, meri zindagi mein bohot masail hain aur yeh din ba din barh rahe hain. Kam
az kam tumhein yeh masla barhane ki zaroorat nahi," Imama ne udasi aur mayoosi se
kaha, lekin Salar uski halat se lutf utha raha tha.

"Masail barha raha hoon? Meri jaan, main tumhari zindagi ko asaan banane ki
koshish mein apni jaan se ja raha hoon, tumse humdardi karte hue. Bas yeh socho ke
tum mere sath kitni mehfooz aur khush zindagi guzar sakti ho," usne sanjeeda hone
ka naatak karte hue kaha.

Imama ka jawab buhat hi imaandari se bhara tha. "Tum jaante ho main yeh sab kyun
jhel rahi hoon, Salar. Kya tum yeh maan lete ho ke main apni zindagi ek aise shaks
ke sath guzarne par raazi hoon jo un sab gunaahon mein mubtala raha hoon jinhein
hamare pyare Nabi (PBUH) ne mana kiya hai? Ache auratein ache mardon ke liye
hain, aur buri auratein bure mardon ke liye. Shayad maine apni zindagi mein
ghalatiyan ki hain, lekin main itni buri nahi ke tumhare jaisa koi meri zindagi ka hissa
ban sake. Main Jalal se shadi nahi kar saki, lekin main tumhare sath apni zindagi
bilkul nahi guzarungi." Imama ne talakh leje mein kaha.

"Shayad, isi liye Jalal ne tumse shadi nahi ki—kyunki ache mardon ke liye ache
auratein hoti hain, tumhare jaisi koi nahi." Salar ke alfaaz thande faulad ki tarah thay.
Dusri taraf se khamoshi bepanah thi—jab tak Salar ne poocha "Hello? Kya tum sun
rahi ho?"

Ek bhari hui awaaz ne jawab diya. "Salar, mujhe talaq de do!" Uske dard ne Salar ko
ajeeb si khushi di.

189
"Phir tum court ja sakti ho, jaise tumne kaha," usne natije par pohnchte hue kaha aur
phone band hota sunai diya.

------------------------------

Pichle chand mahino mein, Hasan ne dawa kiya ke usne Salar se Imama ke bare mein
maloomat lene ki puri koshish ki thi, lekin bina kisi kamiabi ke. Usne yeh maanna se
inkar kar diya ke un dono ke darmiyan koi raabta nahi tha, lekin usne Imama ko uske
mobile par call karne ki koshish mein nakam raha.

Sikandar ne Salar ko kaha tha ke woh USA ke mukhtalif universities mein admission
ke liye apply kare—usko pata tha ke Salar ka academic record usay kisi bhi
behtareen institution mein dakhil karwa dega.

Imama ne Salar ko dobara call nahi kiya, halan ke usne socha tha ke woh karegi. Phir
woh usay batata ke usne pehle hi talaq ka haq nikah papers mein diya tha aur usay
bhej dega. Woh iqraar karta ke woh sirf mazak kar raha tha. Lekin Imama ne us se
raabta nahi kiya, aur na hi usne dobara nikah documents dekhne ki zehmat ki. Agar
usne aisa kiya hota, toh usay bohot pehle pata chal gaya hota ke uska nikaahnama
gayab hai.

Jab uska aakhri imtihan khatam hua aur woh ghar pohncha, toh usne Sikandar ko
uska intezar karte hue paaya.

"Tumhein apna samaan bandhna chahiye. Tum aaj raat US ja rahe ho, Kamran ke
saath rehne ke liye."

"Kyun, Papa? Yeh itna achanak kyun? Sab theek hai na?"

"Haan—sab kuch theek hai siwaye tumhare," uske walid ne tezi se jawab diya.

"Phir aap mujhe aise kyun bhej rahe hain?"

"Main tumhein airport ke raaste mein bataunga. Ab jao aur packing karo."

"Papa, please mujhe batayein aap yeh kyun kar rahe hain? Yeh sab itna achanak hai,"
Salar ne kamzor lehje mein etiraz kiya.

190
"Kya maine nahi kaha ke main bataunga? Ab jao aur packing karo warna main
tumhein airport par khali haath chhod doonga," Sikandar ne dhamki di. Salar ne
chup chap apne walid ko dekha, phir apne kamre ki taraf mud gaya.

Jab usne apna samaan ikattha karna shuru kiya, toh uske zehan mein buhat si soch
thi. Sikandar Usman ne aise achanak faisla kyun kiya? Ek khayal usay bijli ki tarah
laga aur usne apne desk drawer mein papers ko talaashna shuru kiya. Woh nikah
papers nahi mil rahe the—woh kahan gaye? Ab usay apne walid ki strategy samajh
mein aane lagi. Usay apni laaparwahi par afsos ho raha tha ke usne wo papers yoon
hi chhod diye. Yeh papers sirf uske walid ke paas hi ho sakte hain, kyun ke koi aur
uske samaan ko dekhne ki himmat nahi kar sakta siwaye Sikandar ke.

Salar ko ab koi uljhan nahi thi, na hi koi bechaini. Usne chup chap apne bags pack
kiye. Uske zehan mein sirf yeh tha ke uske walid airport ke raste mein kya batayenge.
Jab woh raat ko chale, toh sirf walid aur beta sath thay; Tayyaba ne unka saath nahi
diya. Unhone sukhi zaban mein baat ki, baghair kisi jazbaat ke. Salar ne bhi koi sawal
nahi uthaya. Jab woh airport pohnche, toh Sikandar ne apne briefcase se ek blank
paper nikala aur Salar ko pen de kar kaha, "Yahan sign karo."

"Yeh kya hai?" Salar ne hairani se blank paper ko dekha.

"Bas sign karo. Sawal mat poochho." Uske walid ka lehja sakht tha. Baghair kisi aur
lafz ke, Salar ne paper par sign kar diya. Sikandar ne usay fold kar ke apne briefcase
mein rakh diya. Phir apne bete ki taraf mud kar kaha, "Tumne jo kuch bhi kiya hai,
uske baad tumse baat karne ka koi faida nahi. Tumne mujhse bar bar jhoot bola, yeh
soch kar ke main kabhi sach nahi jaan paunga. Tumhe pata hai, America bhejne ke
bajaye, mera mann karta hai ke tumhein Hashim Mubeen ke hawale kar doon taake
tumhein apni bewaqoofi ka ehsaas ho. Lekin meri problem yeh hai ke main tumhara
walid hoon—aur mujhe tumhein bachana hai. Tumne meri kamzori ka fayda uthaya
hai, lekin ab aur nahi. Main talaq ke documents Imama ko de doonga aur agar
tumne phir kabhi us se raabta karne ki koshish ki, toh tumhein is ka afsos hoga, yeh
main wada karta hoon. Tumhein andaza bhi nahi ke main phir kya karunga! Tumne
humein bohot si mushkilon mein daal diya hai, Salar, aur ab yeh band hona
chahiye—kya tum samjhe?" Sikandar ghusse aur pareshani se bhara tha. Jawab dene
ke bajaye, Salar khidki se bahar dekhta raha. Woh ajeeb tor par mutmaeen aur

191
befikar lag raha tha: Sikandar ko ghussa a raha tha. Yeh uska beta tha jiska IQ 150+
tha, lekin dekhne wale ko lagta ke is mein IQ naam ki koi cheez nahi hai.

------------------------------------------

END OF CHAPTER 4

192
 CHAPTER 5

Agle chand mahinein jo Salar ne US mein guzaare woh uski zindagi ke sabse mushkil
din the. Pehle bhi woh apni family ke saath chutti manane US aur Europe gaya tha;
magar ab jo Sikandar ne use iss tarah bhijwaya tha, isne na sirf Salar ko gusse mein
kar diya balki uske liye bohot si problems bhi paida kar di. Uske dost jo uske saath A
levels complete kar chuke the, woh US ke mukhtalif universities mein parh rahe the.
Isi tarah, uske cousins aur dusre rishtedaar, aur hatta ke uske apne bhai behan bhi
mukhtalif shehron mein the. Woh apni family se zyada attached nahi tha aur na hi
usay ghar ki yaad aa rahi thi, lekin achanak forced move ne usay bechain aur
pareshan kar diya.

Uska cousin, Kamran, sara din college mein hota aur jab ghar aata toh apne
assignments mein masroof hota. Salar, doosri taraf, apartment mein band movies
dekhta rehta ya television channels flip karta rehta. Jab isse bore ho jata, toh bas
shehr mein idhar udhar ghoomta rehta apne aap ko entertain karne ke liye. New
York mein us dinon, Salar ne Kamran ke area ko thoroughly explore kar liya tha.
Sheher mein koi night club, discotheque, pub, bar, theatre, cinema, museum ya art
gallery nahi thi jahan Salar nahi gaya tha.

Uska academic record aisa tha ke teen Ivy League universities jahan usne admission
ke liye apply kiya tha, unhone bina uske BBA results ka intezar kiye usay acceptance
letters bhej diye. Ye universities woh thi jahan uske koi rishtedaar ya dost nahi the,
aur Salar ne jaan bujh kar wahan apply kiya tha takay constant scrutiny se door rahe.
Wahan koi nahi tha jo Sikandar Usman ko reports bhejta jiske dusre bachon ko Ivy
League institution mein admission nahi mila tha.

Sikandar Usman ko Salar ki is kamiyabi par fakhar hona chahiye tha; lekin us aur uski
biwi ko zyada is baat ka darr tha ke wo Salar ko control nahi kar payenge, jisne Yale
join karne ka faisla kiya tha. Haqeeqat mein, Sikandar Usman ke koi dost ya
rishtedaar New Haven mein nahi the.

Salar ke academic record ne usay university mein merit scholarship bhi dilayi. Apne
bhaiyon ke bar'aks, jo hostels mein rehte the, Salar ne apartment mein rehne par zor
diya. Sikandar is faisle ke haq mein nahi tha, magar scholarship ne Salar ko
apartment rent karne ke liye kaafi funds de diye. Uske taleemi kharche ke liye,

193
Sikandar ne pehle hi uske account mein ek achi khasi raqam transfer kar di thi.
Halanke uska sab se chhota beta bhi scholarship par tha, phir bhi Sikandar ne Salar
ki demands puri ki. Aisa lagta tha ke woh Salar ke liye woh sab karne par majboor
tha jo usne kisi aur ke liye nahi kiya tha, aur Salar tha ke har tarah se apne baap ka
imtihan lene aur uski patience test karne par tuli thi. Agar dusre bachay mashriq
jaate, toh Salar maghrib jaata; jo bhi dusre karte, woh bilkul ulta karta, aur zidd se.
Aur Sikandar Usman kuch nahi kar sakta tha siwaye is baat par pareshan hone ke.

New Haven jane se pehle, Sikandar aur Tayyaba Pakistan se khas tor par us se milne
aaye. Dinon tak unhone usay samjhaya aur samjhaaya: usne unki baat suni, lekin koi
tawajjo nahi di. Woh in naseehaton aur mashwaron ka aadat kar chuka tha aur ab
sab kuch uske liye ek kaan se sun kar doosre se nikaal dene jaisa tha. Sikandar aur
Tayyaba, dono hi bohot zyada pareshan aur dar se bharay hue the jab woh Pakistan
wapas chale gaye.

Salar ne Finance ko apne MBA ke liye major select kiya. Yale mein classes join karne
ke kuch hi arse baad uski extraordinary abilities sab ko nazar aane lagi. Beshak
Pakistan mein jo institutions usne attend kiye the, woh taleemi lehaz se topmost the,
magar wahan ki taleem uske liye bohot asaan thi. Yale mein, however, competition
bohot tough tha; wahan bright students ka cream tha jo ek challenge tha. Lekin
wahan bhi, Salar ne apni moujoodgi mehsoos karwai.
Woh zahanat mein intehai ba sadiq tha, lekin uske rawaiye ne bhi uske profile ko
contribute kiya tha. Aam tor par jo Asian garamjoshi aur dostana rawaiya hota hai,
woh uski shakhsiat mein nahi tha, na hi koi adab aur mohazab salook. Uske saath,
woh American ya European universities se Asian students ki tarah mutasir nahi tha.
Bachpan se usne behtareen idaray mein taleem haasil ki thi aur apne background ke
bare mein koi complex nahi rakhta tha. Uske zyadatar ustad goro thay, aur usay pata
tha ke unki knowledge bhi mahdoood hai. Agar Yale ne usay scholarship di thi, toh
yeh koi khas ehsaan nahi tha. Dusri Ivy League universities bhi usay scholarship offer
karti, aur agar aisa na hota tab bhi uske walidain usay kisi bhi behtareen idaray mein
bhejne ki istataat rakhte thay.

Apne khandani background aur social status ke bawajood, Salar ke khud me ek talkh
pehlu tha jo uske withdrawn nature ka hissa tha, aur woh logon ko khush karne ke
liye dosti ka dhong nahi karta tha. Uska intimidating IQ level uski image ko
mukammal karta tha.

194
Usne apne peers aur professors ka dhyan chand heftoon mein apni taraf khench liya.
Yeh kuch naya nahi tha-woh apne school ke dinon se yeh karta aa raha tha. Woh
apne ustad ke saath bekaar ke behas mein waqt zaya nahi karta tha, lekin uske sawal
aise hotay the ke aksar ustad foran jawab dene mein dair lagate. Agar jawab
unsatisfactory hota, toh woh behas nahi karta, balki chup chaap use qabool kar leta
bina apni raaye izhar kiye.

Woh sirf unhi professors ke saath behas karta jisse usay kuch seekhne ko milta, ya
phir unke saath jinki knowledge na sirf riwajati thi aur na hi sirf academic.

Salar ko Yale mein padhai mushkil nahi lagi, aur na hi usne sara waqt kitabon mein
guzaara. Halanke pehle se mushkil tha, lekin phir bhi usay apne shauq puray karne ka
waqt mil jata tha.

Woh homesickness ka shikar nahi tha aur na hi usay Pakistan ki yaad aati thi. Usne
community mein Pakistanis ko dhoondhne ki koi khasa koshish nahi ki, aur na hi
usay apni ghar ki culture aur activities ki kami mehsoos hoti thi. Lekin, waqt guzarne
ke sath sath, uska wahan bohot se Pakistanis se waasta para. Uske paas university
mein mukhtalif societies, clubs aur associations ki memberships bhi thi.

Class ke baad, woh aksar apna waqt, khaaskar weekends pe, ghuma phira kar zaya
karta. Uski zindagi clubs, discotheques, cinema, aur theatre mein banti nazar aati thi.
Koi bhi nayi film, play, concert ya instrumental performance us se chooti nahi thi, aur
usay har naye restaurant ke bare mein maloomat hoti thi-chahe wo bara ho ya
chhota, mehenga ho ya sasta.

Aur in sab activities ke darmiyan woh adventure tha jo uske US mein hone ka sabab
bana. Salar ne ye jaanne ki koshish nahi ki ke kaise, kab, aur kisse Sikandar ko uski
secret shaadi ka pata chala; lekin usne kuch andaze lagaye ke yeh kaise hua. Usne
apne dost Hasan ya naukrani Nasira par shak nahi kiya. Yeh zaroor Imama khud thi
jisne sab detail bata di thi-isi liye usne phir Salar se rabta nahi kiya. Shayad Imama se
baat karne ke baad hi Sikandar ne Salar ke kamre ki talashi li aur nikah ke papers
dhund liye.

Lekin yeh sab kab hua? Yeh sawal Salar ko pareshan karta raha kyunke woh iska koi
logical jawab nahi pa raha tha.

195
In waqiat ko yaad karke use afsos bhi hota:
"Kyoon maine uski madad ki? Jab usne mujhse rabta kiya, mujhe Waseem ko, uske
walidain ko, ya apne walidain ko inform kar dena chahiye tha.
Ya, mujhe unhein Jalal ke baare mein bata dena chahiye tha, ya phir uski baat sunni
hi nahi chahiye thi, na hi usse shaadi karni chahiye thi, na hi uski madad karke use
ghar se bhagana chahiye tha." Kabhi kabhi, Salar ko lagta tha ke usne apne aap ko
uske haathoon istemal hone diya, jaise ek bebas bacha-yeh ghulaami, yeh itaat kyu,
woh sochta, khaaskar jab unke darmiyan koi rishta nahi tha, aur na hi woh uski
madad karne ka paband tha.

Ek adventure se zyada, yeh saari baat bewakoofi lagti thi. Ek psychiatrist ki tarah,
usne apne rawaiye ko Imama ke liye analyze karne ki koshish ki.
"Waqt ke sath sath, woh meri zindagi se bilkul nikal jayegi. Aur agar woh nahi bhi
gayi, toh kya farq padega," usne apne aap ko tasalli di.

---------------------------------------------

Jese jese din guzarte gaye, Salar ka doston ka daira barhta gaya aur unmein ek larka
Saad bhi tha. Woh Karachi se tha aur, Salar ki tarah, ek ameer khandan se tha; lekin
Salar ke bar'aks, Saad ka khandan kaafi deeni tha.

Salar ke nazar mein, Saad ka mazah hai aala tha aur woh bohot khubsurat bhi tha.
New Haven mein ek dost ne un dono ka ta'aruf karwaya tha aur Saad pehla tha jisne
dosti ka haath barhaya. Shuru mein, Salar kuch hichkichaya hua tha kyunki usay laga
ke unmein kuch bhi common nahi hai.

Saad M.Phil. program mein enrolled tha aur university ke sath sath part-time kaam
bhi kar raha tha. Uski shakal-ghane dari ke sath-uski deen se jazbati lagao ko zahir
karti thi. Woh mazhab ke bare mein bhi bohot ilm rakhta tha. Pehli martaba apni
zindagi mein, Salar ne kisi aise shakhs se dosti ki jo mazhab ki taraf mail rakhta tha.

Saad regular namaz parhta tha aur doosron ko bhi iski talkeen karta tha. Uski
membership mukhtalif clubs aur organizations mein thi, jahan woh kaafi active tha.
Salar ke bar'aks, Saad ka US mein koi rishtedaar nahi tha siwaye ek door ke chacha
ke jo kisi dusre state mein rehta tha. Shayad, apni tanhai ko door karne ke liye hi

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woh itna social tha. Saad apne bhai behnon mein sabse chhota tha; shayad yeh
khaas muhabbat hi thi jo uske walidain ne use higher education ke liye bahar bheja
tha. Warna, woh bhi graduation ke baad family business join kar leta, jese uske
bhaiyon ne kiya.

Saad bhi ek kiraye ke apartment mein rehta tha, lekin akela nahi-woh char dusre
logon ke sath share karta tha. Unmein do Arab, ek Bangladeshi aur ek Pakistani
shamil thay. Woh sab students thay.

Pehli mulaqat ke kuch hi din baad, Saad aur Salar achi dosti kar gaye. Jab Salar ke
dost Jeff ne Saad ko Salar ki academic achievements ke bare mein bataya, toh woh
mutasir hue bina nahi reh saka. Saad ko dekh kar, khaaskar uske dari wale chehre ko
dekh kar, Salar ko hamesha Jalal yaad aata. Unmein bohot zyada mushabaht nazar
aati thi. Jese uske doosre doston ke sath, Saad bhi weekends pe Salar ke paas rehta.

"Tum Muslim ho, lekin tumhe mazhab ke bare mein kuch pata nahi," ek din Saad ne
Salar se kaha.
"Aur tum bohot zyada deeni ho," Salar ne jawab diya.
"Kya matlab?"
"Jese tum din mein paanch martaba namaz parhtay ho aur hamesha Islam ke bare
mein baat karte rehte ho-yeh sab zyada hai, samjhe." Salar bohot saaf baat karta tha.
"Kya tumhe hamesha namaz parhne se thakawat nahi hoti?"
"Yeh farz hai. Allah humein apni ibadat aur yaad karne ka hukum deta hai," Saad ne
zor de kar kaha.
Salar ne susti se jamhai li. "Tumhe bhi namaz parhni chahiye; aakhir tum Muslim ho."
"Mujhe pata hai, mujhe pata hai. Kya mera namaz na parhna mujhe ghair-Muslim
banata hai?" Salar ka lehja tanziya tha.
"Sirf naam ka Muslim-kya tum aise hi rehna chahte ho?"
"Saad, please is bekaar ke behas mein mat parho. Mujhe pata hai tum deen mein
dilchaspi rakhte ho, lekin main nahi rakhta. Toh behtar yeh hai ke hum ek dusre ke
nazariye aur jazbaat ka ehtram karein instead of forcing them down each other's
throats. Main tumhe namaz chorhne ko nahi keh raha, toh meri namaz parhne par
zor mat do." Salar ne itni bluntly baat ki ke Saad chup ho gaya.

Kuch din baad, Saad Salar ke apartment aya. Salar kuch lene kitchen gaya aur Saad
bhi uske sath chala gaya. Woh baat karte hue casually fridge khola aur usme ek

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burger dekha jo Salar ne raat ko kisi fast food outlet se liya tha, aur use nikaal liya.
"Rakho use wapas-tum yeh nahi khaa sakte," Salar ne react kiya.
"Kyoon nahi?" Saad use microwave mein dalne laga.
"Kyunki isme pork hai," Salar ne kaafi casually kaha.
Saad rukh gaya. "Mazaak mat karo."
"Kya mazaak?" Salar ne hairani se kaha jab Saad ne plate ko counter par almost
phaink diya.
"Tum pork khate ho?"
"Main pork nahi khata. Main yeh burger khata hoon kyunki mujhe pasand hai," usne
jawab diya, burner ko jalate hue.
"Tumhe pata hai yeh haram hai?"
"Haan."
"Aur phir bhi tum ise khate ho?"
"Apni waaz shuru mat karo. Main na sirf pork khata hoon balki har kisam ka meat
khata hoon," usne bekhauf lehje mein jawab diya.
"Mujhe yakeen nahi ho raha."
"Acha-isme yakeen na aane wali kya baat hai? Yeh ek khane ki cheez hai," Salar ne
kaha aur fridge se doodh ki bottle nikaali.
Saad ko ghussa agaya. "Har cheez khane ke liye nahi hoti. Theek hai, tum bohot
zyada deeni nahi ho, lekin tum Muslim ho aur Muslims ko pata hota hai ke pork
haram hai."
Salar chup chap sunta raha aur apna kaam karta raha.
"Mere liye kuch mat banao-main yeh nahi khaoonga," Saad ne kaha aur kitchen se
nikal gaya.
"Kyun? Kya hua?" Salar ne kuch hairani se Saad ko dekha jab woh zor zor se haath
dho raha tha.
Saad ne jawab nahi diya, bas haath dhota raha aur kalima parhta raha. Salar ne gusse
se apne daant bhinche aur usay ghoor ke dekha.

"Main tumhare fridge se kuch nahi khaa sakta. Asal mein, agar tum pork aur Allah
jaane aur kya kya khate ho, toh main tumhari plates se bhi kuch nahi khaa sakta.
Chalo kahin bahar chalte hain kuch khane," Saad ne kaha.
"Yeh bohot insulting hai," Salar ne gusse se kaha.
"Nahi - isme kuch insulting nahi hai. Baat sirf yeh hai ke main haram cheez nahi

198
khana chahta, aur tum is tarah ki cheezon ka khayal rakhne ke aadi nahi ho," Saad ne
bohot sukoon se jawab diya.
"Maine tumhe pork khilane ki koshish nahi ki. Mujhe pata hai ke tum nahi khate
isliye maine tumhe bataya ke woh burger mat khao. Lekin tumhe kisi qisam ka
phobia lagta hai-tum aise react kar rahe ho jese mere apartment mein paaltu suar
hain aur main unke saath rehta hoon."
"Chalo, bahar chalte hain," Saad ne usay manane ki koshish ki.
"Agar hum bahar khane gaye, toh main bill pay nahi karunga-tum karoge," Salar ne
kaha.
"Teek hai, main pay kar loonga. Koi masla nahi," Saad ne kuch rahat mehsoos ki.
"Aur agle martaba jab tum mere pas aao, apna khana sath lana," Salar ne chidha hua
kaha.
"Zaroor," Saad ne jawab diya.

-----------------------------------------

Us weekend pe woh jheel ke paas tha, jahan bohot se log uski tarah ghoom rahe the
ya kinare ke benches par baithe the. Baghair kisi soch ke, usne idhar udhar dekha jab
usne ice cream ka aik bite liya. Uski tawajjo ek teen saal ke bache ne kheench li jo
football ko laat maar raha tha aur peecha kar raha tha. Bachay ki maa, jo hijab mein
thi, wahan khadi usay pyar bhari nazar se dekh rahi thi. Salar baghair ehsaas ke, usay
ghur raha tha. Bacha football ka peecha karte hue Salar ki taraf aa raha tha aur
football Salar ke paon ke paas aa gayi. Salar ne usay apne paon se roka, lekin wahin
rok ke rakha. Bacha daurte hue aya aur ruk gaya: Salar ne football ko nahi chhora-
usne bache ki maa ki taraf dekha, umeed karte hue ke woh aye. Woh ayi, kuch Salar
ke rawaiye se pareshan ho kar.

"Football chor do," usne narm magar sakht lehje mein kaha. Salar ne ball ko zor se
laat mari, jo door udan gayi. Phir usne bohot sakoon se usay dekha. Uske chehre par
gusse se surkh rang tha; usne apni saans mein kuch kaha aur mud kar apne bache ka
peecha kiya jo ball ke peeche bhaag gaya tha. Salar ko uska kaha sunai nahi diya,
lekin woh kuch tareefi nahi tha.

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Salar apne rawaiye par zyada fakhar nahi mehsoos kar raha tha lekin usay jaldi hi yeh
samajh aya ke iske peechay wajah kya thi-woh ladki Imama ki tarah bohot lagti thi.
Woh lambi aur patli thi, lamba kala coat aur kala hijab pehne hue thi. Uska jism, uska
peela rang aur gheri aankhen bilkul Imama jaisi thi. Imama hijab nahi pehenti thi-
woh bohot bada chadar odhti thi. Is ladki ko dekh kar, usay Imama yaad ayi aur
bilkul bina soch samajh ke, usay nazarandaaz karna aisa tha jese woh Imama ki baat
nahi maan raha ho aur is baat ne usay acha mehsoos karwaya-lekin woh Imama nahi
thi.

"Mujhe kya ho gaya hai? Aisa karte hue..." usne socha. Usne apni jeb se cigarette
nikaali, usay jalaya aur apni honton pe rakhta hua phir se us ladki pe apni nazar jama
di. Wo sab kuch bhool gaya, sirf woh ladki yaad rahi.

--------------------------

Us raat Salar ne bohot dair tak Imama ke baare mein socha—Imama aur Jalal ke
baare mein. Usay yaqeen tha ke wo dono ab tak shaadi kar chuke honge, kyun ke
Sikandar se talaaq ke papers mil gaye thay. Halankeh Salar ko pata tha ke uske
barhawa dene ke bawajood, Jalal Imama se shaadi karne ko tayyar nahi tha, phir bhi,
usay laga ke jab Imama Jalal ke dar pe aayi hogi, to Jalal usay inkaar nahi kar saka
hoga. Imama ne usay mana liya hoga.

Imama waqai bohot khoobsurat thi: Jalal uska muqabla nahi kar sakta tha. Uska
khandaan mulk ke ameer tareen aur taqatwar khandanon mein se tha. Koi bewaqoof
hi hota jo apni haalat ke bawajood, Jalal ki tarah, itni munafa bakhsh tajwez ko radd
karta. Ya shayad, wo waqai us se mohabbat karta tha. Jo bhi tha, Salar ko yaqeen tha
ke unhon ne shaadi kar li thi aur ab Hashim Mubeen ki pohonch se door kahin
chhupay hue thay—ya shayad, Hashim Mubeen ne unko dhoondh liya tha.

“Mujhe waqai us ke baare mein maloomat karni chahiye,” usne socha, lekin agle hi
lamhe, usne apne aap ko daant diya. “Khuda ke wastay Salar—kya farq padta hai
agar uske walid usay dhoondh chuke hain ya nahi?” Lekin uski curiosity kam nahi hui
aur wo hairan tha ke usne Imama ke baare mein pata karne ki koshish kyun nahi ki
ke uske walid us tak pohonche hain ya nahi.

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"Mein Venus Edward hoon," ladki ne kaha, apna haath aage barhati hue. Jab Salar
library ki shelf se kitaab utha raha tha, wo uske qareeb aayi.

"Salar Sikandar," usne jawab diya, uska haath milate hue.

"Mujhe pata hai—tumhe apna ta'aruf dene ki zaroorat nahi," usne garmjooshi se
jawab diya.

Salar ne nahi kaha ke usay apna ta'aruf dene ki zaroorat nahi thi: usay apne pachaas
classmates ke naam aur chehre se waqfiat thi. Iske ilawa, wo har ek ka mukhtasir se
bio-data ghalti ke baghair suna sakta tha. Wo Venus ko hairan kar sakta tha ye keh
kar ke wo New Jersey se thi jahan usne do saal ek beverage company mein kaam
kiya tha, aur usne marketing mein degree hasil ki thi. Wo Yale mein doosri degree ke
liye thi aur Salar se kam az kam paanch se chay saal badi thi. Halankeh apne qad aur
physique ke bawajood wo badi lagti thi, lekin asal mein wo class mein sab se chhota
tha, aur wo wahid tha jo apne MBA degree ke liye bina kisi kaam ke tajurba ke parh
raha tha. Sab ke paas kuch saal ka kaam ka tajurba tha, lekin Venus ko abhi ye sab
batana uski umeedain barhane ke barabar tha.

"Agar mein tumhe coffee pe dawat doon?" Venus ne pucha.

"Toh mein tumhari dawat qubool karunga," usne jawab diya.

Wo hans padi. "Toh chalo chalte hain." Salar ne kandhe uchkaaye aur kitaab ko
wapas rakh diya.

Wo cafeteria mein baithe aur kareeban aadha ghanta baatein karte rahe. Ye Venus ke
saath uski pehli mulaqat thi. Kisi bhi ladki se ta'alluq banana Salar ke liye mushkil
nahi tha—wo ye bohot asaani se kar leta tha aur is martaba Venus ne pehla qadam
uthaya tha is liye aur bhi asaan ho gaya tha.

Sirf teen ya chaar mulaqaton ke baad, usne Venus ko apne flat mein raat guzarne ki
dawat di aur usne foran maan liya. Wo aksar class ke baad saath waqt guzaarte aur
dair raat ko uske flat wapas aate.

Salar kitchen mein un dono ke liye drinks bana raha tha; Venus casually apartment ka
jaiza le rahi thi. Phir wo counter ke paas aayi.

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"Maine socha tha ke tum akelay rehte ho to yeh jagah gandi hogi. Magar mujhe
kehna parega, tumne ise bohot achi tarah rakha hai. Kya yeh tumhari adat hai ya
tumne mere liye khaas taur par saaf kiya hai?"

Salar ne uske glass ke samne rakha aur jawab diya, "Yeh mera tareeqa hai, main
hamesha is tarah rehta hoon." Usne aik sip liya aur glass rakh kar uske qareeb aa
gaya.

Wo us par muskurayi jab usne apne haath uske kandhon par rakhe aur usay apni
taraf kheench liya. Phir wo aik dum ruk gaya jab usne dekha ke ek moti sona ke haar
mein uski gardan ke ird gird jhoom raha tha. Wo hamesha yeh pehenti thi magar
pehle usne kabhi nahi dekha tha kyun ke wo hamesha sard mausam ki wajah se
high-necked kapde pehenti thi.

Us din usne ek deep-necked dress aur lamba coat pehna tha jo usne flat mein andar
aane ke baad utaar diya.

Salar ka chehra tabdeel ho gaya jab us moti ne usay kisi aur moti ki yaad dila di, jo
kisi aur ki gardan mein pehna hota tha, kisi purani yaad mein. Haath jo wuzu karte
thay aur ungliyan jo kalaiyon se kohniyon tak... chehre se, aankhon se maathay tak
aur phir maathay se ungliyan jo chadar ke neeche se kaale baalon par phisalti thi.
Imama ke gale mein pehna haar itna chhota tha ke moti uski gardan ke gadday mein
tha; agar haar lamba hota, to wo moti nazar nahi aata. Us raat, Imama ne close-
necked qameez aur cardigan pehni hui thi, magar us moti ko dekh kar Salar aik
lamhe ke liye sun ho gaya tha.

Aur ye kya waqt tha Imama ko yaad karne ka. Usne koshish ki ke moti ko na
dekhe—wo apni raat Venus ke saath kharab nahi karna chahta tha. Usne koshish ki
ke Venus ke kehne par muskuraye jab usne kaha, "Mujhe tumhari aankhen bohot
pasand hain."

"Tumhari aankhen nafrat angez hain." Aik awaaz ne usay jhatka diya; uske chehre se
muskurahat gaayab ho gayi. Usne Venus ko chhod kar peeche hat kar counter se
apna glass utha liya. Venus hairan reh gayi.

"Kya hua?" Usne Salar ke kandhe par haath rakh kar pucha.

Salar ne jawab nahi diya; usne apne drink ko aik hi ghont mein pe liya. Venus uski
khamoshi ko samajhne ki koshish kar rahi thi. Sirf chand lamhon mein uska Venus

202
mein dilchaspi khatam ho gayi thi: usay samajh nahi aaya ke achanak Venus ki
mojoodgi itni nafrat angez kyun lagne lagi. Wo raat ko night club mein pichle do
ghanton se Venus ke saath dance kar raha tha aur acha waqt guzara raha tha, aur
ab, kuch hi minton mein...

Salar ne is ehsaas ko jhatakne ki koshish ki aur kitchen sink ki taraf barh kar glass
dhone laga. Venus usay doosra glass la kar di. Wo wahan khadi apne bazu seenay
par baandh kar usay glass dhoota dekh rahi thi. Uska is tarah dekhna Salar ko
pareshan kar raha tha.

"Mujhe... main theek mehsoos nahi kar raha," usne kaha jab usne glass shelf par rakh
diye. Venus kuch shock mein thi—auron mein, wo usay wahan se janay ko keh raha
tha. Uska chehra badal gaya: Salar ka rawaya beizzati karne wala tha. Usne usay
thandee nazaron se dekha, phir apna handbag aur coat utha kar darwaza zor se
band karte hue nikal gayi. Salar sofa par gir gaya, apne sar ko pakar ke.

Venus aur Imama mein koi mushabihat nahi thi; hatta ke jo moti unhon ne pehne
thay, wo bhi mukhtalif thay. Magar us moti ko Venus ke haar mein jhoomte hue
dekh kar Imama ki yaad taazaa ho gayi, aur wo bhi bohot takleef deh taur par. Kyun?
Ab kyun? Hamesha kyun? Ye soch usay pareshan kar rahi thi. Usne ek khoobsurat
shaam ko barbaad kar diya tha. Achanak, usne coffee table par rakhi crystal vase
uthai aur poori taqat se deewar par phenk di.

Weekend ke baad, uski Venus se dobara mulaqat hui, magar uska rawaya sardi aur
rude tha. Yehi tareeqa tha ta'luqat ko shuru hone se pehle khatam karne ka. Wo har
aurat se chirchira ho gaya tha jo kisi bhi tarah se usay Imama ki yaad dilati thi aur
Venus bhi is list mein shamil ho gayi thi. Venus ko umeed thi ke Salar apne rawaye ki
maafi mangega aur use dobara bulaayega, magar wo mayoos aur bohot zyada hurt
thi. Ye Yale mein uska pehla affair tha.

----------------------------------

Agle kuch mahinon mein, Salar apni padhaiyon mein itna masroof raha ke uske paas
na to Imama ko yaad karne ka waqt tha aur na hi ye jaanne ka ke uske saath kya
hua tha. Ye halaat shayad aise hi rehti agar wo ek mauqa par Jalal Ansar se nahi mila
hota.

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Weekend par, wo Boston gaya tha, jahan uska chacha rehta tha, ek cousin ki shaadi
mein shirkat karne ke liye. Us shaam, Salar apne cousin ke saath dinner ke liye ek
restaurant gaya. Uska cousin order dene ke baad bahar chala gaya aur Salar wait kar
raha tha. Achanak kisi ne usay pukara.

"Hello?" Salar ne peechay mur kar dekha. "Aren't you Salar?" aadmi ne poocha. Ye
Jalal Ansar tha. Ek minute ke liye, Salar ne usay pehchana nahi. Wo mukhtalif lag
raha tha: usne apni dari mundwa li thi.

Salar khara ho kar usse haath milane laga, aur pichle saal ka waqia uski yaadon mein
taazah ho gaya. Sath hi salam dua ke baad, Salar ne Jalal ko dinner mein shamil
hone ki dawat di.

"Nahi, shukriya—mujhe thoda jaldi hai. Tumhe dekh kar hello kehne chala aaya," Jalal
ne apni ghadi dekhte hue kaha. "Imama kaisi hai?" Jalal ne guftagu ke tor par
poocha.

Salar ne socha shayad usne sahi se nahi suna. "Sorry?" usne maafi maangte hue
poocha. Jalal ne sawal dohraya.

"Mein Imama ke baare mein pooch raha tha—wo kaisi hai?"

Salar ne usay dekha, aankhein jhapkaye baghair. Jalal Imama ke baare mein kyun
pooch raha tha?

"Mujhe nahi pata; tumhe uske baare mein maloomat honi chahiye," Salar ne ajeeb
andaaz mein kandhe uchka kar jawab diya.

"Mujhe kyun?" Jalal hairan hua.

"Kyun ke wo tumhari biwi hai."

"Meri biwi?" Jalal ko jhatka laga. "Tum kya keh rahe ho? Wo meri biwi kaise ho sakti
hai jab ke maine us se shaadi karne se inkaar kar diya tha? Tumhe ye achi tarah pata
hai kyun ke tumhi wo shakhs thay jo is baat par mujhse baat karne aaye thay pichle
saal," usne Salar ko yaad dilaya. "Asal mein, maine tumse kaha tha ke tum us se
shaadi kar lo."

Salar ne usay beyaqeeni se dekha.

"Maine samjha tha ke shayad tumne us se shaadi kar li ho," Jalal ne wazaahat di.

204
"Toh tumne usse shaadi nahi ki?" Salar ne poocha.

"Nahi... maine tumse pehle hi baat kar li thi. Wo kaise mumkin tha jab ke maine
wazeh tor par inkaar kar diya tha? Mujhe pata chala ke wo ghar se chali gayi thi aur
main samjha wo tumhare saath hai. Isliye jab maine tumhe dekha to milne aa gaya."

"Mujhe pata nahi wo kahan hai. Main yahan pichle saat ya aath mahinon se hoon,"
Salar ne jawab diya.

"Aur main yahan pichle mahinay se hoon," Jalal ne kaha.

"Mujhse milne ke baad, kya wo tumse mili ya tumse raabta ki koshish ki?" Salar ab
pareshan ho gaya tha.

"Nahi."

"Ye kaise ho sakta hai... ke wo Lahore jaaye aur tumse raabta na kare?" Salar ko
yakeen nahi aa raha tha.

"Wo mujhse raabta karke kya hasil karti?"

"Wo tumhare liye ghar se bhaagi thi. Tumhe uske paas jana chahiye tha."

"Nahi, wo mere liye ghar se nahi bhaagi thi. Tumhe ye achi tarah pata hai. Maine
usse wazeh tor par keh diya tha ke main us se shaadi nahi kar sakta, isliye please ye
mat kaho ke usne mere liye ye sab kiya." Jalal ke lehje mein tabdeel hui. "Ye sab baat
tumhare saath discuss hui thi."

"Matlab tum keh rahe ho ke wo waqai tumhare paas dobara nahi aayi?"

"Mein tumse jhoot kyun bolunga? Aur agar wo mere saath hoti, to main tumse uske
baare mein kyun poochta? Waise bhi, mujhe dair ho rahi hai," Jalal ne achanak kaha.

"Main tumhara contact number le sakta hoon?" Salar ne poocha.

"Nahi. Mujhe nahi lagta ke tumhe aur mujhe raabta mein rehne ki zaroorat hai." Jalal
ka jawab sidha aur saaf tha. Usne mur kar chalna shuru kar diya.

Salar pareshani se Jalal ko door jate dekhne laga. Ye yakin karna mushkil tha ke usne
Jalal se dobara mulaqat nahi ki. "Kyun? Kya usne waqai meri baat par yakeen kar liya
ke Jalal ne kisi aur se shaadi kar li?" Salar ko yaad aaya ke usne usse jhoot bola tha;
magar usne kaise Salar ki baat par yakeen kar liya jab ke usne khud kaha tha ke wo

205
us par bharosa nahi karti? Uska dimagh uljhan mein tha. Usne ek kursi kheench kar
baith gaya.

"Agar wo Jalal ke paas nahi gayi, to kahan gayi? Kya uski zindagi mein koi aur mard
tha jis ke baare mein usne mujhe nahi bataya? Magar nahi—wo mujhe kehti ke us
shakhs se raabta karun. Agar wo Jalal se foran nahi mili thi, to talaq ke papers milne
ke baad aur apne talaq ke haqooq jaanne ke baad uske paas jaani chahiye thi." Salar
ko samajh nahi aaya ke usne Jalal ki jhooti shaadi ka kyon zikr kiya tha. Shayad wo
usay pareshan karna chahta tha ya dekhna chahta tha ke wo agay kya karegi, ya
shayad usne uske barhawa dene wali guzarishat se tang aa kar ye kiya tha.

Jo bhi tha, Salar ko yaqeen tha ke Imama madad ke liye Jalal ke paas jayegi. Magar
ab usay pata chala ke, uski ummeedon ke bar'aks, wo aisa nahi kar rahi thi.

Waiter ne unka order serve kar diya. Salar ka cousin bhi wapas aagaya aur unhon ne
chhoti moti baatein karte hue khana khaya. Magar khana khate aur baat karte hue
bhi, Salar ka dimagh Imama aur Jalal ke khayalon mein ghuma hua tha. Uski yaad
baad mahinon baad taazah hui thi.

"Kya wo wapas ghar gayi hogi?" Ye soch Salar ke zehen mein aayi; uska dimagh isi
soch mein atka hua tha, "Mujhe yakin hai ke wo gayi hogi... mein Papa se baat karun
ga aur poochun ga—wo zaroor jaante honge."

Sikandar Usman bhi family wedding ke liye sheher mein thay. Der raat, jab Salar ne
apne walid ko akela paya, to usne unka rukh kiya.

"Papa, kya Imama wapas ghar aa gayi hai?" usne seedha sawaal poocha.

Ye achanak sawaal sun kar Sikandar kuch dair ke liye khamosh ho gaye.

"Ye kyun jaanna chahte ho?" unhone tezi se poocha.

"Bas yunhi."

"Iski zaroorat nahi hai ke uske baare mein socho ya uski kismat ke baare mein chinta
karo. Behtar hoga ke apni padhai par dhyan do."

"Please mere sawal ka jawab dein!"

"Kyun? Tumhara usse kya lena dena?" Sikandar ka ghussa bharak utha.

"Aaj mein uske boyfriend se mila—jis se wo shaadi karna chahti thi."

206
"To?"

"To unki shaadi kyun nahi hui? Usne kaha ke Imama usse milne nahi aayi. Mujhe laga
tha ke wo Lahore jaate hi uske paas jayegi."

Sikandar ne usay roka. "Chaahe wo usse milne gayi ya nahi, unki shaadi hui ya nahi—
ye tumhara maamla nahi hai. Tumhe is baat mein padne ki zaroorat nahi!"

"Haan, main maan gaya ke ye mera maamla nahi hai magar mujhe yeh jaan'na hai ke
kya wo aapke paas aayi thi. Aapne talaaq ke documents usay kaise pahunchaye?
Mere matlab hai, unhein us tak kis ke zariye bheja gaya?"

"Kisne tumhe bataya ke usne mujhse raabta kiya?" Sikandar ke sawal par Salar hairan
tha.

"Maine andaza lagaya."

"Usne mujhse bilkul bhi raabta nahi kiya aur agar karti, to main Hashim Mubeen ko
zaroor inform karta."

Salar apne walid ko dekhte rahe. "Maine tumhare kamre ki talashi li aur wahi se
mujhe nikah ke papers mile," Sikandar ne bataya.

"Jab aapne mujhe yahan bulaya, to kaha tha ke talaaq ke papers Imama ko bhej
denge."

"Haan, magar ye tab ki baat hai jab usne mujhse raabta kiya hota—aur usne nahi
kiya. Tumhe ye itna yakeen kyun hai ke usne mujhse raabta kiya?"

Salar kuch dair ke liye khamosh raha. Phir usne poocha, "Kya police ne uske baare
mein kuch pata nahi lagaya?"

"Nahi; agar police ne kuch pata lagaya hota, to wo ab tak ghar wapas aa gayi hoti.
Abhi bhi uski talash jaari hai," Sikandar ne jawab diya.

"Ye bilkul tay hai, Salar, ke tum dobara Imama ke maamle mein nahi padho ge.
Tumhe uske kahan hone ya kaisi hone ka ghum nahi karna chahiye, kyun ke iska
tumse koi taluq nahi hai. Jaise hi police usay dhoond legi, main Hashim Mubeen ko
wo papers dedoon ga taake tum is pareshani se azaad ho jao."

"Papa, kya usne waqai kabhi mujhe call nahi ki?" Salar ne, Sikandar ke pehle ke
remarks par dhyan diye baghair, poocha.

207
"Kya usne kabhi tumhe call ki?"

"Usne sirf ek martaba call ki, aur phir main yahan chala aaya. Shayad usne dobara
call ki ho aur aap mujhe nahi bata rahe ho."

"Usne nahi ki. Agar usne call ki hoti to main tumhare shaadi ke kaafi masle hal kar
leta. Main tumhare behaf par talaaq ki karwai poori kar leta."

"Waise aap yeh kaise karte?" Salar ne bohot shanti se kaha.

"Jab tum ja rahe thay to maine tumse ek khali paper par sign karwaye thay. Main ne
talaaq ke papers taiyaar karwa liye hain," Sikandar ne fakhr se kaha.

"Jhoote documents. Mujhe nahi pata tha ke aap mera sign talaaq file karne ke liye le
rahe hain."

"Kya tum phir se ye tamaasha shuru karna chahte ho?" Sikandar ghusse se bol uthe.

"Main yeh nahi keh raha ke main uske saath koi rishte mein rehna chahta hoon. Main
yeh keh raha hoon ke aap meri taraf se yeh rishte khatam nahi kar sakte. Yeh mujhse
taluq rakhta hai aur main hi isse deal karoonga."

"Tumhe shukar guzar hona chahiye ke tum yahan aman aur sakoon se reh rahe ho.
Jis khandan se tumne panga liya tha wo itna taqatwar hai ke wo tumhe qabar tak
dhoondh sakte hain. Yeh bhi mumkin hai ke wo yahan bhi tum par nazar rakhe hue
hoon, intezar kar rahe hoon ke tum Imama se raabta karo taake wo tum dono ko
zinda dafan kar sakein."

"Aap mujhe daraane ki bekaar koshish kar rahe hain. Pehle to main yeh maan'ne ke
liye tayaar nahi hoon ke wo yahan mujhe dekh rahe hain, wo bhi itne lambi arse ke
baad. Dusri baat yeh hai ke main Imama ke saath raabta mein nahi hoon kyun ke
mujhe waqai uske kahan hone ka pata nahi hai, to raabta ka sawal hi paida nahi
hota."

"Phir tum uski falah par itna dhyan kyun de rahe ho? Usay jahan bhi rehne do, jaise
bhi rehne do." Sikandar kuch halka mehsoos karne lage.

"Please mere cell phone ke bills check karein. Uske paas mera cell phone hai; wo
shayad usko call karne ke liye use kar rahi ho."

"Usne tumhara cell phone use nahi kiya. Wo permanently switched off hai. Usne jo
kuch calls ki thi wo apne college friends ko thi, aur police ne unhe pehle hi question

208
kar liya hai. Lahore mein, Imama apni ek dost ke ghar gayi thi magar wo ladki
Peshawar mein thi aur Imama apni dost ke ghar se uske wapas aane se pehle hi chali
gayi."

Police uska pata lagane mein naakaam rahi thi ke wo kahan gayi.

Salar ne apne walid ko ghaur se dekha, phir kaha, "Hasan ne aapko sab kuch bataya
mere aur uske baare mein?"

Sikandar ke paas is baat ka koi jawab nahi tha. Sirf Hasan ko pata tha ke Imama ke
paas Salar ka cell phone tha. Sikandar ye daawa nahi kar sakte the ke unhone Salar
ke kamre ki talashi le kar ye maloomat hasil ki thi. Salar apne walid se baat karte hue
Hasan par shak kar raha tha kyun ke Sikandar Usman ko is poore maamle ke chhoti
chhoti tafseelat ka pata tha jo sirf Salar ya Hasan ko pata thi—teesra koi shakhs
shaamil nahi tha. Since Salar ne apne walid ko kuch nahi bataya tha, bina shakk ke ye
Hasan hi tha jisne unhe sab kuch bataya tha jo kuch hua tha.

"Kya farq padta hai, chahe Hasan ho ya koi aur? Yeh to hona hi tha ke mujhe pata
chalna tha—meri bewakoofi thi ke maine Hashim Mubeen ke ilzaam ko nazarandaz
kiya aur tum par yakeen kiya."

Salar chup chaap baithe rahe, bina kuch bole, jab Sikandar bol rahe the, magar uske
chehre par uski narazgi aur ghussa saaf nazar aa raha tha.

"Ab jab ke maine tumhe is nafrat angez surat-e-haal se nikaal liya hai, tumhe aisa
kuch nahi karna chahiye jo..." Sikandar ka lehja narm tha, magar wo apni baat
mukammal karte, Salar achanak uth kar kamre se bahar chala gaya.

------------------------------------------------

Apne walid ke saath hui guftagu Salar ke zehan mein sari raat ghoomti rahi. Pehli
martaba, usne kuch pashtawa mehsoos kiya, udasi—usne pehle hi Imama ki
darkhwast ko maan lena chahiye tha aur usay talaaq de dena chahiye tha. Wo Jalal
ke paas jaati, usse shaadi karti aur apni zindagi basaa leti. Imama ke liye apni nafrat
ke bawajood, usay maanna pada ke is sab mein uska kasoor hai.

209
"Usne dobara mujhse raabta nahi kiya. Usne talaaq ke liye court mein case nahi kiya.
Uska khandaan ab tak uska pata nahi laga saka. Wo Jalal Ansar ke paas bhi nahi
gayi—phir wo kahan gayi? Kya aisa ho sakta hai ke usay koi haadsa ho gaya ho?"
Usne pehli martaba Imama ke baare mein ghamgeen aur sanjeedgi se socha, bina
kisi chirchiraahat ya gussa ke.

"Ye nahi ho sakta ke wo kahin chup chaap meri biwi ban kar reh rahi ho, jab ke wo
mujhse nafrat karti hai. Usne kisi se raabta karne ki koshish kyun nahi ki?" Fikr bhare
khayalat ubarte rahe. Shaadi ko ek saal se zyada ho chuka tha: kya waqai usay koi
haadsa ho gaya? Wo sochta raha ke uske saath kya ho sakta tha, magar kuch dair
baad, uske khayalat phir se apne aam rukh par aa gaye.

"Toh…agar kuch bura ho gaya hai to main kya kar sakta hoon? Usne apni marzi se
ghar chhoda tha—aur koi bhi aise halaat mein ulajh sakta hai. To main apne aap ko
kyon itna pareshan kar raha hoon jab ke mera us se ab koi ta'luq nahi hai? Papa
theek keh rahe the ke mujhe parwaah nahi karni chahiye, khaaskar ek aisi ladki ke
baare mein jo na-shukri hai aur ghuroor tak pohonch gayi hai—wo dusron ko neecha
samajhti hai aur shayad jo kuch uske saath hua, uski haqdar thi."

Salar ne apne dimagh se usay nikalne ki koshish ki. Wo pashtawa jo usne thodi dair
pehle mehsoos kiya tha, ghayab ho gaya: ab wo is mamooli baat par zyada
sharminda nahi tha. Usne relax kiya aur apni aankhein band kar li—Imama uske
khayalon mein kahin nahi thi.

---------------------------------------------

"Vandame kabhi gaye ho?" Mike ne university se nikalte waqt Salar se poocha.
"Ek baar," Salar ne jawab diya.
"Kaisa tha?" Mike ne pucha.
"Buray nahi," Salar ne jawab diya.
"Hum weekend pe wahan jana chahiye," Mike ne suggest kiya.
"Kyoon?" Salar ne pucha.
"Meri girl friend ko wahan bahut shauq hai-wo aksar wahan jati hai," Mike ne bataya.
"Toh phir tum uske sath jao," Salar ne kaha.
"Zyada maza hoga agar hum sab sath jayein," Mike ne jawab diya.
"Sab kaun?" Danish ne baat mein shamil hote hue poocha.
"Humare sab doston ko-tum, mein, Salar, Sethi aur Saad," Mike ne samjhaya.

210
"Saad ko chor do-wo nightclubs ka naam sun kar hi ghabra jayega ya phir lambha
lecture dega," Salar ne interrupt kiya.
"Thik hai, phir bas hum," Danish ne confirm kiya.
"Sandra ko bhi invite karte hain," Salar ne apni girl friend ka naam suggest kiya.
Toh wo log Saturday raat ko Vandame gaye aur khub maza kiya. Agle din subha der
se uthe. Salar apna lunch bana raha tha jab Saad ka phone aya.
"Abhi uthe ho?" Saad ne Salar ki neend bhari awaaz sun kar poocha. "Shayad raat
bhar jagte rahe ho."
"Han-hum bahar gaye the," Salar ne jaan bujh kar "nightclub" ka lafz chora.
"Hum matlab tum aur Sandra?" Saad ne poocha.
"Nahi, poora group," Salar ne kaha.
"Poora group? Aur tumne mujhe chor diya?" Saad hurt aur annoyed tha.
"Humne kabhi tumhara socha hi nahi," Salar ki plain baat Saad ko chubh gayi.
"Kamino, Salar, tum bahut hi cheap ho... kya Danish bhi tha?"
"Haan, sabhi the, mere dost, sab," Salar ne mazahiya lehje mein kaha.
"Mujhe kyoon chor diya?" Saad ka annoyance barh gaya.
"Kyoonke bacchon ko aisi jagaon pe nahi le jate... tum itne mature nahi ho," Salar ne
mazak uraya.
"Main tumhari haddi tor dunga, dekh lena!" Saad ne dhamki di.
"Main mazak nahi kar raha, yaar-humne tumhe nahi bulaya kyoonke tum wahan nahi
aate," Salar ne wazeh kiya.
"Kyoon? Hum jahannum ja rahe the jo main mana kar deta?" Saad ne poocha.
"Acha, tum use jahannum hi keh kar bulaoge. Hum nightclub gaye the-kya tum saath
jate?" Salar ne jawab diya.
"Kyoon nahi?" Saad ka jawab sunkar Salar hairan ho gaya. "Tum jate?"
"Bilkul!" Saad ne tasdeek ki.
"Aur tum wahan kya karte? Na tum peete ho, na tum dance karte ho-tum wahan
humein lecture dete apni baatein?" Salar ne tewar se poocha.
"Nahi. Toh main nahi peeta, na dance karta, lekin ek achi outing hoti. Maza aata,"
Saad ne jawab diya.
"Islam aise kaamon se mana karta hai-aisi jagaon pe jane se?" Salar ne teekhi awaz
mein poocha.
Kuch dair ki khamoshi ke baad, Saad ne jawab diya, "Main kuch galat nahi kar raha
hota, bas manzar badal raha hota."

211
"Thik hai, agli baar hum tumhe shamil karenge jab plan banayenge. Kal raat pata
hota toh tumhe bula leta. Humne sach mein khub maza kiya."
"Chalo theek hai... aaj ka kya programme hai?" Saad ne kuch santusht ho kar poocha.
Thodi der baat karne ke baad unhone call band kar di.

6 maheene pehle .......

"Is weekend ke kya plans hain?" Saad ne Salar se poocha. Wo campus cafeteria mein
thay.
"Main Sandra ke sath New York ja raha hoon."
"Kyoon?" Saad ne poocha.
"Uske bhai ki shadi hai; usne mujhe invite kiya hai."
"Kap wapas aoge?" Saad ne poocha.
"Sunday raat ko," Salar ne jawab diya.
"Phir mujhe apne apartment ki keys de do-main weekend wahan guzarna chahta
hoon. Mujhe kuch assignments par kaam karna hai, aur mere sab flat-mates is
weekend ghar par honge. Main wahan kaam nahi kar sakta," Saad ne wazahat di.

"Thik hai-tum wahan reh sakte ho," Salar ne beparwai se kaha.

Salar ne plan banaya tha ke wo Friday raat ko Sandra ke sath nikal jayega. Lekin kuch
kaam ki waja se Sandra ko rokna para aur unhe agle subha tak apna safar mutalik
karna para. Sandra paying guest ki tarah reh rahi thi, toh Salar ke paas koi aur chara
nahi tha magar ghar wapas ane ka. Usne apni ek key Saad ko de di thi aur doosri
apne paas rakhi thi.

Salar 11 baje ke baad ghar pohcha aur apni key se andar gaya kyunke wo Saad ke
parhai mein khalal nahi dalna chahta tha. Lounge khali tha magar light on thi. Salar
ko ajeeb sa mehsoos hua-wo apne bedroom tak jana chahta tha, lekin darwaze pe
ruk gaya. Andar se hansi aur guftagu ki awazen arahi thi-Saad ke sath koi aurat thi.

Salar wahan se hil gaya. Saad unke group ka akela shakhs tha jo opposite sex ke sath
koi rishta nahi rakhta tha. Ye kisi religious insaan se expected nahi tha. Salar wapas
mur gaya, pareshan. Usne living room table par ek bottle aur glasses dekhe; kitchen
counter par istemal shuda plates aur cutlery thi.

Salar bina kisi der ke apartment chor diya, utni hi khamoshi se jitni khamoshi se aya
tha. Usne jo suna aur dekha tha, us par yakeen nahi ho raha tha-Saad aur ek aurat.
Ye hairan kun tha. Ek shakhs jo na haram meat ko chhota tha na sharaab ko, jo din

212
mein paanch martaba namaz padhta tha, aur jo hamesha Islam ka dars deta tha-usne
aisa kaise kar diya! Bottle aur glasses se pata chal raha tha ke wo peeye they: khane
peene ka silsila us ghar mein jise Saad na paak samajhta tha.

Salar ko khayal aya ke ek insaan jo khud ko pious aur practicing Muslim sabit karna
chahta hai, wo itna bara fraud nikla. Saad jo khud ko poore USA ka asli Muslim
samajhta tha, aur doosri asli Muslim wo larki Imama thi jo tent-like chadar mein
ghoomti thi, lekin apne ghar se 'mohabbat' ke liye bhaag gayi thi. Salar ko in so-
called 'true' believers aur unki hypocrisy se ghinn aane lagi.

Salar ne parking lot se car nikalte waqt man hi man burburaya. Sandra ke paas jana
ab late ho gaya tha toh usne Danish ke ghar jana ka faisla kiya. Danish Salar ko dekh
kar hairan ho gaya. Salar ne pretend kiya ke wo akela bore ho raha tha is liye Danish
ke paas aaya hai. Danish uske explanation se mutmaeen ho gaya.

Saad chala gaya tha jab Salar Sunday raat ko wapas aya, jaise plan tha. Wahan koi
nishaan ya saboot nahi tha jo kisi aurat ki mojoodgi ko zahir kare; wine bottle bhi
gayab thi. Salar ne apne apartment ka jayeza lete hue sardonic smile di: sab kuch
waisa hi tha jaisa usne chora tha. Phir usne Saad ko call kiya. Kuch casual baat cheet
ke baad usne kaha, "Toh parhai kaise rahi? Sab assignments mukammal hue?"

"Shukriya, yaar, mujhe aakhri do din parhai par focus karne ka waqt mil gaya.
Assignments bhi lagbhag mukammal hain. Tumhara safar kaisa raha?" Saad ne
poocha.

"Bohat acha..."

"Tumhein kitna waqt laga? Raat ko drive karne mein koi problem toh nahi hui?" Saad
ne poocha.

"Nahi, humne raat ko safar nahi kiya."

"Kya matlab?"

"Matlab ke hum Friday raat ko nahi, Saturday subha ko nikle," Salar ne wazeh kiya.

"Kya tumne raat Sandra ke yahan guzari?"

"Nahi, Danish ke yahan."

"Tum ghar bhi aa sakte they."

213
"Main aaya tha," Salar ne maamooli lehje mein jawab diya. Doosri taraf puri
khamoshi thi. Salar apne dil mein hasa: Saad ko sun kar zaroor jhatka laga hoga.

"Tum aaye... kab?" Saad ne haklate hue poocha.

"Raat 11 baje ke aas paas. Tum kisi larki ke sath masroof they aur mujhe tumhe
disturb karna theek nahi laga. Isliye main chala gaya."

Salar Saad ke shock ko mehsoos kar sakta tha-wo bemisaal tha. Usne kabhi nahi
socha tha ke Salar uske kaam ko dekhega aur expose karega.

"Waise, tumne apni girl friend se mujhe kabhi milaya nahi," Salar ne izafa kiya.

Usne Saad ko ghabra kar saans lene ki koshish karte hue tasavvur kiya.

"Bas aisi hi ek baat thi," Saad ne dheere se kaha. "Main tumhe milaunga. Lekin kisi se
yeh baat mat karna," usne jaldi se izafa kiya.

"Main kyoon karunga? Tum fikr mat karo." Salar Saad ki zehni aur jazbati halat ko
samajh gaya tha. Usko Saad se thoda afsos bhi hua. Saad ne baat khatam kar di.
Salar ko uske embarrassment ka andaza ho gaya tha.

Is waqia ke baad, Salar ko laga ke Saad apne imaan, religiosity aur preaching ko
flaunt nahi karega-kam az kam uske samne, lekin usne note kiya ke Saad ne apni
baaton mein zarra bhi tabdeeli nahi ki thi. Wo ab bhi deen ke bare mein josh o
kharosh se baatein karta, logon ko Islamic precepts follow karne aur namaz parhne ki
naseehat karta, aur unko unIslamic practices se roknay ki koshish karta. Saad ghanton
tak Allah aur Islam ke liye apne pyar ke bare mein baat karta, Quran aur hadith se
quotes deta, aur baatein karte waqt aksar ankhon mein aansu le aata.
Apne group ke ilawa, aur log bhi thay jo Saad aur uski shakhsiyat se bohot mutasir
they-wo uske Allah ke pyaar, jawani ke josh aur zindagi ki raftar ke bawajood ek
namoona musalman hone par rashk karte they. Beshak, Saad ko bolne aur logon ko
mutasir karne ka saleeqa aata tha-magar Salar par Saad ki preaching ka koi asar nahi
hota tha. Salar ko yakin nahi tha ke Saad ki daari wali Islami shakal uske imaan ka
nishan thi, na uske narm lehje ka ya uske dosron ke liye izzat aur adab ka.

Salar ki deeni logon se nafrat Imama se shuru hui; Jalal ne is negative ehsaas ko aur
barhaya aur Saad ne ise inteha tak ponchaya. Salar ka maanna tha ke aise log jo
zahiri tor par religious nazar aate hain, wo asliyat mein ghair moral hotay hain un
logon se zyada jo piety ka dawa nahi karte. Ittifaqan, ye teeno log jinko usne dekha,

214
uske yakeen ko aur mazboot kar gaye. Imama Hashim, jo ek purdah-observing larki
thi, apne fiancé ko chor kar kisi aur mard ke liye ghar se bhaag gayi. Jalal Ansar, jo
naat mein Prophet (pbuh) se mohabbat ka izhaar karta, uska ek larki ke sath affair
tha aur phir usne use chor diya, jo dunya aur deen ko apne matlab ke liye alag alag
rakhta tha. Aur Saad Zafar: Salar ka uske bare mein opinion ek aur waqia se aur gir
gaya.

Ek din Saad Salar ke paas aya jab wo apne computer pe ek assignment par kaam kar
raha tha. Dono baat karne lage aur phir Salar ko mahalli store se kuch groceries lene
bahar jana para. Saad wahan ruk gaya. Salar ko wapas aate hue takreeban aadha
ghanta lag gaya. Jab wo wapas aya, to usne dekha ke Saad online chat kar raha tha.
Thodi dair baat karne ke baad Saad chala gaya. Salar ne lunch kiya aur phir online
gaya; jaise hi wo kar raha tha, usne history check ki jo Saad access kar raha tha-
wahan usne dekha ke wo websites aur pages jo Saad ne khole they. Ye sab
pornographic sites they.

Salar ko ye dekh kar surprise nahi hona chahiye tha agar wo khud ya uske kisi aur
dost ne aise sites dekhe hote, magar Saad ko aise sites dekhte hue paana ek shock
tha. Saad ka darja Salar ki nazar mein gir gaya.

-----------------------------------------

"Phir tumhare kya plans hain? Kya tum Pakistan wapas arahe ho?" Sikandar Salar se
baat kar rahe thay; unhone apne bete ko bataya ke wo Tayyba ke sath kuch hafton
ke liye Australia ja rahe hain ek family wedding attend karne.

"Main Pakistan me kya karunga agar aap dono wahan nahi hain?" Salar ne udaasi se
kaha.

"Yeh theek baat nahi hai-apne bhai aur behan se milo. Anita tumhe bohot miss karti
hai," Sikandar ne jawab diya.

"Papa, main yahan theek hoon; main apni holidays yahin guzaroonga. Pakistan wapas
jaane ka koi faida nahi," Salar ne kaha.

"Phir humare sath Australia chalo. Moiz bhi aarha hai."

215
"Main itna pagal nahi hoon ke bas aapke sath Australia chala jaun," Salar ne
thakawat se kaha. "Aur waise bhi, Moiz aur mere beech koi samajh nahi hai ke aap
mujhe uske sath hone ka batayein."

"Thik hai, main tumhe majboor nahi karunga-tum wahan reh sakte ho agar tum
chaaho, lekin apna khayal rakhna. Aur Salar, tumhe koi ghalat kaam nahi karna
chahiye," Sikandar ne usse warn kiya. Salar ko achi tarah pata tha ke uske walid ka is
"ghalat kaam" se kya matlab hai, lekin wo itna aadat shuda tha ke kyunke Sikandar
hamesha har conversation ke end par yeh baat kehte they. Agar wo nahi kehte toh
Salar ko hairani hoti.

Salar ne Sikandar se baat karne ke baad apni booking cancel kar di. Phir wo apne
bistar par lete hue, ceiling ko ghurte hue sochne laga ke university band hone par
chuttiyon mein kya kare.

"Mujhe kahin skiing ke liye jana chahiye ya... kisi doosre state mein jana chahiye,"
usne socha.

"Thik hai, main kal class ke baad ek travel agent ke pas jaunga aur wahan se yeh
plan banayenge," usne faisla kiya.

Agle din usne apne ek dost ke sath skiing programme finalize kar liya. Phir usne
Sikandar ko apne plan ke bare mein bataya.

Chuttiyon ke shuru hone se ek din pehle, Salar ek Indian restaurant dinner ke liye
gaya, aur wahan kuch waqt bitane ke baad, ek qareebi pub gaya jahan usne kuch
whisky ke pegs liye. Raat das baje ke qareeb, wo ghar ki taraf rukh kar raha tha.
Achanak usay ulti ka ehsaas hone laga. Usne car ko side par roka aur bahar nikal
gaya. Kuch dair tak wo raste ke saath lagay ghass ke patch par idhar udhar chalta
raha. Thandi hawa aur hawa mein nami usay behtar mehsoos karne lagi, lekin phir se
usay ulti ka ehsaas hua, sath hi seene aur pait mein dard bhi hone laga.

Usay samajh nahi aya ke yeh khane ki wajah se tha ya whisky ki wajah se. Uska sir
ghoom raha tha aur jhukne par usne achanak ulti kar di. Wo abhi bhi jhukha hua tha;
bhale hi uska pait khali ho gaya tha, usay behtari mehsoos nahi hui. Jab usne seedha
hone ki koshish ki, to uski taange kamzor aur larkhara rahi thi. Usne apni car ki taraf
wapas murne ki koshish ki, lekin uska sir chakkar kha raha tha aur uski nazar
dhundhli ho gayi thi jab usne apni car par focus karna chaaha. Usne chand qadam

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chalne ki koshish ki, lekin wo bohot kamzor tha aur zameen par gir gaya. Usne uthne
ki koshish ki lekin wo andheray mein doob raha tha.

Behosh hone se pehle, usay kisi ke hilane ki awaaz sunayi di; koi unchi awaaz mein
us se baat kar raha tha-aise lag raha tha ke ek se zyada log thay.

Salar ne apna sir hilanay ki koshish ki lekin wo hila nahi sakta tha. Usne apni ankhein
kholne ki koshish ki, lekin wo jawab nahi de rahi thi. Wo mukammal andheray mein
doob gaya.

-----------------------------------------------

Chhe mahine pehle,

Salar ne do din hospital mein guzare. Ek couple jo us raaste se guzar raha tha jahan
Salar gira tha, usay girta dekha aur hospital le gaye. Doctors ke mutabiq, Salar ko
food poisoning hui thi. Usne admission ke kuch ghanton baad hosh wapas aya, lekin
ghar wapas jaane ki khwahish ke bawajood, wo itna kamzor tha ke hil nahi sakta tha.
Agle shaam usay behtar mehsoos hua, lekin doctor ne usay ek aur raat hospital mein
guzarne ki salah di.

Salar Sunday dopehar ko ghar wapas aaya aur pehla kaam jo usne kiya wo skiing trip
cancel karna tha. Uska plan tha ke Monday subah ko niklega aur ek martaba phir
Sandra ko sath le jaane ki koshish karega. Jab usne apne plans cancel kiye, usne
Sandra ya kisi aur doston ko call nahi kiya.

Salar ne lunch mein ek halka sandwich aur ek cup coffee piya; phir ek tranquilizer liya
aur so gaya. Agle din wo 11 baje utha; uska sir bohot zor se dard kar raha tha. Usne
apni peshi ko mehsoos kiya aur uska jism bukhaar se tap raha tha.

"Aray, yeh kya?" usne ghussa se kaha. Do din bimaar guzarne ke baad, uska plan
nahi tha ke agle do din bhi aise guzarain, lekin usay aisa hi lag raha tha.

Usne bed se nikalne ki koshish ki, aur bina mooh dhoye, seedha kitchen gaya taake
coffee banaye. Phir usne apne phone ki answering service check ki missed aur
recorded calls ke liye. Kuch calls Saad ki thi jo Salar se baat karne ki koshish kar raha
tha Pakistan jane se pehle, aur wo Salar ke bina bataaye ghaib hone se naraz tha.

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Sandra ki bhi calls thi jo samajhti thi ke Salar skiing chala gaya bina usse mile;
Sikandar aur Kamran ne bhi calls ki thi, sochte hue ke Salar bina bataaye chala gaya.
Kuch calls aur doston aur classmates ki thi jo ghar ja rahe thay. Sab ne Salar se call
back karne ko kaha tha-aur agar wo bimaar na hota toh wo zaroor call back karta.
Wo Saad, Sikandar aur Kamran ko Pakistan call kar sakta tha, lekin uski isme dilchaspi
nahi thi.

Salar ne apni coffee khatam ki kuch bread ke slices ke sath; phir usne apni medicines
li aur wapas lete gaya. Usne socha ke shaam tak rest karke wo bukhaar ko khatam
kar dega.

Uska ye andaza bilkul ghalat sabit hua. Jab wo shaam ko dawai ke asar se utha, uska
jism bukhaar se jal raha tha. Uska mooh aur zubaan sukh gayi thi aur uska gala
khushk aur dard mein tha. Uska sar aur pura jism dard se bhar gaya tha. Shayad dard
ne uski neend tod di thi.

Wo seedha lete huye tha, apna sar pakad kar-usne apne anguthaon se apne
kanpatiyon ko mal kar dard ko kam karne ki koshish ki, lekin koi faida nahi hua. Usne
haar kar lete rehne ka faisla kiya, apna chehra takiye mein daba diya. Salar ko pata
nahi chala kab wo phir se so gaya, dard ko bardasht karne ki koshish mein. Jab wo
dobara utha, kamra mukammal andhere mein tha. Raat ho gayi thi aur sirf uska
kamra nahi, pura apartment andhere mein dooba hua tha.

Wo pehle se zyada pareshan tha. Usne bed se uthne ki koshish ki, lekin uske jism
mein energy nahi thi aur wo wapas lete gaya. Dobara se, usay neend aur behoshi ke
darmiyan ka halat mehsoos hui. Usne apne aap ko karahat se groan karte hue suna,
lekin wo khud ko rokh nahi sakta tha.

Central heating ke bawajood, wo beshumaar laraz raha tha-blanket usay garmi nahi
de rahi thi aur na wo garam kapdon mein jasakta tha. Phir se, usay apne seene aur
pait mein dard mehsoos hui.

Salar ki takleef bhari cheekhein intensify ho gayi jab usay ulti ka ehsaas hua. Usne
uth kar bathroom jane ki koshish ki, lekin wo hil nahi sakta tha. Usne koshish ki aur
baith gaya lekin bed se utarne se pehle, usne zor se ulti ki aur pichle kuch ghanton
mein jo kuch khaya tha wo sab nikal gaya. Is semi-conscious halat mein bhi usay
apne kapdon aur blanket pe gundgi ka ehsaas hua, lekin wo apne aap ko lagbhag
maqool pa raha tha, groaning aur mumblling karte hue.

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Yeh halat kitni der tak chali usay yaad nahi, lekin usay yaad tha ke ek waqt aisa aya
jab usay laga ke wo mar raha hai, aur pehli baar maut ka khayal usay dara gaya. Wo
kisi tarah phone tak pohchna chahta tha, kisi ko call karna chahta tha, lekin wo hil
nahi sakta tha-bukhaar ne usay bed pe rakh diya tha.

Aakhirkaar uska bukhaar utar gaya aur raat ke der ghante mein, wo apni near-
comatose halat se nikla. Usne apni aankhein kholi aur kamre ke andhere mein dekha-
uska jism nahi jal raha tha aur wo laraz bhi nahi raha tha, lekin uska sar aur jism dard
se bhar gaya tha, halaan ke kam degree mein. Kuch der tak wo ceiling ko ghurta
raha, phir usne switch dhoond kar bedside lamp on ki. Itne lambi der ke andhere ke
baad light ne uski aankhein band karwa di. Usne apni palkon ko mehsoos kiya: uski
aankhein suji hui thi aur dard kar rahi thi.

Bari koshish se usne apni aankhein khuli rakhi aur kamre mein idhar udhar dekha, jo
kuch uske sath guzra tha yaad karne ki koshish ki. Choti choti yaadashtein waqiat ko
taza kar gayi.

Salar apni halat par nafrat mehsoos kar raha tha. Bed pe baithe hue, usne apni shirt
utari aur door phek di. Kamzor aur larakharaati kadmon se, wo bed se utar kar sheet
aur blanket ko door phenkta gaya. Larakharaate hue, wo bathroom gaya. Jab usne
apne aap ko aaine mein dekha, toh wo hairan reh gaya-uski aankhein andar dhas
gayi thi, unke ird gird kale haale thay, uska chehra pila pad gaya tha aur hont sukh
aur chil chuke thay.

Koi bhi usay dekh kar yeh maan leta ke wo lambi bimari se guzar raha tha.

"Kya sirf chobees ghanton mein meri daari itni barh gayi hai?" usne socha, jab usne
apne chehre par haath pherta.

"Mujhe hospital mein food poisoning ke baad itna bura nahi lag raha tha jitna ke ek
din ke bukhaar ke baad lag raha hoon," usne hairan hokar kaha jab usne apni shakl
ko aaine mein dekha. Tub ko garam paani se bhar kar, usne usme qadam rakha.
Usay hairani hui ke bukhaar ke bawajood, usne foran gande kapde kyun nahi badle,
bas wahan lete rahe.

Nahana ke baad, wo kitchen gaya-usay bohot bhook lag rahi thi. Usne apne liye
noodles banaye. "Mujhe kal doctor ke pas jaake poora check-up karwana chahiye,"

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usne faisla kiya jab wo kha raha tha. Nahana ke baad usay halka aur behtar mehsoos
hua, lekin uska poora jism thaka hua aur kamzor tha.

Usne TV on kiya jab wo kha raha tha aur channels change karne laga taake kuch
dekh sake: ek talk show chal raha tha. Salar ne khana rok diya-chammach hawa mein
tha, usne TV ko dekha aur remote uthakar channels change karne laga. Ab wo har
channel pe programs ko dekh raha tha aur uske chehre par confusion barh rahi thi.

"Yeh kya hai?" usay yaad aya ke raat jab usay bimari hui aur wo raste par gir gaya
tha, Friday raat thi aur usay hospital le jaya gaya tha. Saturday hospital mein guzra,
aur wo Sunday ko apne apartment wapas aaya. Sunday dopehar ko so gaya, agle din
subah 11 baje utha, ...us raat usay bukhaar hua jo Tuesday tak chalta raha, aur usay
lagta tha ke ab Tuesday raat hai. Lekin TV channels kuch aur hi keh rahe thay-it was
Saturday night and the next day would be Sunday.

Salar ne living room table par rakhi apni ghadi par nazar daali aur uska moonh hairat
se khul gaya. Usne noodles ka bowl neeche rakha; wo apni aankhon par yakeen nahi
kar saka jab usne ghadi par date dekhi.

"Kya iska matlab hai ke main paanch din tak bimaar tha? Paanch din tak hosh mein
nahi tha? Yeh kaise ho sakta hai? Yeh mumkin kaise hai?" usne apne aap se kaha.
"Paanch din bohot lamba waqt hai-kaise mujhe waqt ka pata hi nahi chala? Main
kaise bina hosh ke paanch din tak pada raha?"

Usne ladkhadate hue apne telephone ki answering service check ki-koi call nahi thi.

"Papa ne mujhe call tak nahi kiya... aur na hi Saad ne... unhe meri yaad nahi aayi?"
Salar yeh dekh kar hairat mein pad gaya ke uske liye koi message nahi tha. Wo
bohot dair tak phone ke pass chup chap baitha raha.

"Yeh kaise mumkin hai ke Papa ne mere bare mein socha bhi nahi? Mere doston ne
bhi mere bare mein nahi socha-unhone mujhe aise kaise chhod diya?" Pehli baar
usay yeh khayal aaya aur uske haath kaanpne lage; yeh kamzori nahi thi, lekin phir
kya tha jo usay itna hilaa gaya tha? Usne sofa par baith kar noodles khatam karne ki
koshish ki, lekin ab wo mazeed nahi kha sakta tha. Usay lag raha tha ke wo rubber
ke tukde chaba raha hai-wo aur nahi khaa saka. Wo ajeeb se halat mein tha-kya usne
waqai paanch din akele guzare aur kisi ko bhi yeh nahi pata tha ke uske sath kya
guzri?

220
Wo phir se bathroom gaya. Nahane ke baad uska chehra itna thaka hua nahi lag
raha tha, lekin uski aankhon ke ird gird ke kale halke aur uski barh gayi daari ab bhi
wahan thi. Wo aaine mein apne aks ko dekh kar hairani se chhoone laga jaise ke
usay yakeen nahi aa raha ho jo wo dekh raha tha. Achanak, uski hirsute shakl usay
tang karne lagi. Usne shaving kit nikali aur shave karne ki tayyari ki; usay pata chala
ke uske haath ab bhi kaanp rahe thay aur shave karte waqt usne apne chehre par
teen jaga kat lagaliya. Usne apna chehra dhoya aur pati se saaf kiya, us khoon ko
rokne ki koshish kar raha tha jo nikal raha tha.

Behoshi se, usne apne aks ko dekha. Kat se dobara khoon behne laga-kala khoon
nikal raha tha-aur bina palke jhapkaye, usne un choti choti boondon ko apne chehre
se girte dekha.

"Ecstasy ke baad kya aata hai?" ek thandi, neeche awaz ne kaha. Wo wahan hi jam
gaya.

"Dard ke baad kya aata hai?"

"Nothingness." Usne har lafz ko yaad kiya.

"Nothingness," usne aaine mein apne aap ko dekhte hue dheere se kaha. Yeh harkat
karne se khoon ke katre uske chehre se neechay behne lage.

"Nothingness ke baad kya aata hai?"

"Hell." Salar ko achanak se ulti aayi aur wo wash basin par jhuk gaya. Thodi der pehle
jo khana khaya tha, wo dobara nikal gaya. Usne tap on kiya aur gandagi ko saaf kiya.
Usay yaad aya ke usne agle sawal kya poocha tha aur uska jawab kya tha.

"Is waqt tumhe kisi cheez ka kuch samajh nahi aaraha-aur tumhe nahi samajh
aayega. Ek waqt aayega jab sab kuch tumhare liye clear ho jayega aur tum sab kuch
samajh jaoge. Har zindagi mein ek waqt aata hai jab sab kuch wazeh ho jata hai-jab
koi raaz nahi bachta. Main is stage se guzar rahi hoon," usne kaha tha, "lekin wo
stage tum par kisi future point pe aayega. Tab dekhna agar yeh tumhe amuse na
kare."

Salar ko phir ulti aayi. Uski aankhon se aansu behne lage.

"Zindagi mein kabhi na kabhi hum ek point par aate hain jahan sabhi rishte khatam
ho jate hain-jahan sirf hum aur Allah rehte hain. Koi walidain, bhai ya behan, ya koi

221
dost nahi hota. Phir hum samajhte hain ke na zameen hai na aasman, sirf Allah hi hai
jo humein is khala mein sambhal raha hai. Phir hum apni qeemat ko samajhte hain-
yeh ek zarre ya ek patte se zyada nahi hoti. Phir hum samajhte hain ke humara
wajood sirf humari apni hasti tak mehdood hai. Humari maut se na duniya ko kuch
fark parta hai aur na hi kisi aur cheez ko."

Salar ko apne seene mein ajeeb dard mehsoos ho raha tha. Usne apne chehre se
paani ko chata aur phir se ulti aayi.

Uske khayalat chalte rahe. "Hum apne hosh mein aate hain; hum apni mukammal
insignificance ko samajhte hain."

Wo apne zehan se is awaz ko nikalne ki koshish kar raha tha. Usay hairani hui ke wo
usay ab kyun yaad aya.

Usne apne chehre par paani chhidka, usay poncha, after-shave ki bottle kholi aur
apne gal pe lagayi. Pehli martaba usay dard mehsoos hua.

Bathroom se bahar aate hue, usay ehsaas hua ke uske haath ab bhi kaanp rahe thay.

"Mujhe doctor ke pas jana chahiye." Usne apne haath bandhe. "Mujhe madad
chahiye. Mujhe apna check-up karwana chahiye."

Usay yeh feeling pehchani nahi lag rahi thi. Wo ghutan mehsoos kar raha tha. Usay
aisa lag raha tha ke koi uski jaan dheere dheere nikaal raha ho.

"Kya yeh mumkin hai ke mere log mujhe bhool jayein, aise hi bhool jayein...."

Usne apne wardrobe se saaf kapde nikaale aur pehenne laga.

Wo jaldi se doctor ke pas jana chahta tha. Achanak, apartment usay darawani jaga
lagne laga.

Us raat, ghar wapas aake, wo lagbhag puri raat jagta raha. Wo ajeeb si halat mein
tha: wo yeh tasleem nahi kar sakta tha ke usay bhool gaye hain. Uske walidain ne
hamesha uska achi tarah khayal rakha tha.

Sikandar Usman aur Tayyba ne hamesha usay ehtiyaat se handle kiya tha. Wo
hamesha uski fikr karte thay, lekin ab usay lagta tha ke pichle kuch dino se wo
mukammal tor par sabki zindagi se gayab ho gaya tha-uske walidain, bhai behan,
dost. Agar uski bimari ke nateeja mein uski maut ho jati apartment mein, shayad kisi

222
ko pata nahi chalta. Shayad jab tak uski lash sadna shuru nahi hoti, aur is mausam
mein kitna waqt lagta?

Us raat, usne phone ki answering service har ghante check ki. Yakeen na karne ki
halat mein, usne agle pure hafte ka intizar kiya ke koi call kare, lekin kisi ne call nahi
kiya.

"Kya sab mujhe bhool gaye hain?"

Wo ghabra gaya. Pura hafta intizar karne ke baad, jaise ek bewakoof, ke koi call kare,
usne khud se apne logon se contact karne ki koshish ki.

Usne unhe batana chaha ke uske sath kya hua aur wo kis halat se guzra.

Usne apni takleef unse share karni chahi.

Lekin, pehli baar, usay laga ke koi bhi waqai usme dilchaspi nahi rakhta. Sab apni
apni zindagiyon ke details mein masroof thay.

Sikandar aur Tayyba apni Australia ki chuttiyon ke bare mein baatein karte rahe aur
kitna maza araha tha. Usne be-dhil hokar suna.

"Kya tum apni chuttiyan enjoy kar rahe ho?"

Lambi guftagu ke baad, Tayyaba ne us se poocha, "Tum kaise ho? Chuttiyan enjoy
kar rahe ho?"

"Main? Haan, bohot..." Salar sirf yeh teen lafz hi keh saka. Usay waqai nahi pata tha
ke Tayyaba ko kya bataye, kya zahir kare.

Jab usne har kisi ko call kiya, usay pehli baar yeh halat mehsoos hui: usay samajh aya
ke sab apni apni zindagiyon mein masroof thay. Shayad agar wo unhe batata ke uske
sath kya guzra, toh wo shock mehsoos karte aur shayad pareshan bhi hote. Lekin yeh
tab hota jab wo unhe batata. Uski zindagi mein unka kya maqam tha? Kya kisi ne
waqai jaanne mein dilchaspi li ke uske sath kya hua?

Shayad pehli baar usne socha ke agar uski zindagi khatam ho jaye toh kisi aur par
kya asar hoga. Duniya par kya asar hoga? Uske ghar walon ko kya mehsoos hoga?
Kuch nahi... bas chand din ka gham.

Baqi duniya ke liye, yeh ek pal ke liye bhi asar nahi karega.

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Agar Salar Sikandar gaib ho jaye toh kisi ko kya fark padega? Usne apne zehen se
aise khayalat ko nikalne ki koshish ki, lekin mayoosi aur uski halat us par haavi ho
gayi. "Mujhe kya ho gaya hai? Agar log mujhe chand din ke liye bhool gaye toh isme
kya? Kaayi dafa main khud bhi bohot logon se contact khatam kar chuka hoon. Phir
kyun is baat se itna pareshan hoon?"

"Lekin yeh mere sath kyun hua? Aur agar main waqai hosh mein nahi aata... Agar
mera bukhaar nahi utarta, agar mere seene aur pait ka dard kam nahi hota..."

Usne apne zehen se in pareshan kun soch ko nikalne ki koshish ki, lekin wo nikal
nahi saka. Wo dard se zyada darr mehsoos kar raha tha. "Shayad main bohot
sensitive ho raha hoon, warna yeh sirf temporary unconsciousness mujhe itna kyun
pareshan kar rahi hai." Usne pareshaani se socha.

"Ab toh main recover ho gaya hoon, lekin phir bhi maut ke bare mein kyun soch
raha hoon? Aakhir, pehle bhi bimaar hua hoon. Bina wajah khudkushi karne ki
koshish ki hai, lekin ab, yeh darr kyun mujhe ghair rahe hain?"

Uska dard barh gaya.

"Mujhe bukhaar ki takleef yaad bhi nahi. Shayad yeh sirf ek sapna tha ya coma jaisa
kuch tha. Mujhe zyada yaad nahi."

Usne muskurane ki koshish ki.

"Mujhe kya pareshan kar raha hai? Kya bimari? Ya yeh ehsaas ke kisi ko meri zarurat
nahi thi, kisi ne mere bare mein socha tak nahi, na mere apne, na mere dost..."

Salar apne aap ko aur zyada tanha mehsoos kar raha tha.

------------------------

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"Oh, my God, kya ho gaya hai tumhein, Salar!" Sandra ne pehle semester ke din use
dekhte hue kaha.

"Kuch nahi," Salar muskurane ki koshish ki.

"Kya tum beemar the?" usne fikarmandi se poocha.

"Haan, thoda sa."

"Lekin mujhe lagta hai tum kaafi beemar the. Tumhara wazan kam ho gaya hai aur
tumhari aankhon ke neeche dark circles hain. Tum kis bemari se beemar the?"

"Kuch khaas nahi. Bas thoda bukhaar aur food poisoning, shayad..." usne muskurate
hue kaha.

"Kya tum Pakistan gaye hue the?"

"Nahi, main yahin tha."

"Maine New York jaane se pehle tumhe kai baar phone kiya. Har baar answering
service ne jawab diya. Tumhe record karna chahiye tha ke tum Pakistan gaye hue
ho."

"Bas karo!" usne gusse se kaha. "Tum mujhe sawalon se bombarding kar rahi ho."

Sandra ne hairani se uski taraf dekha.

"Tum mujhe aise pooch rahi ho jaise tum meri biwi ho."

"Salar, kya hua?"

"Kuch nahi hua. Ab tum yeh kya-kahan-kaise-kyun bakwaas band karo."

Sandra kuch lamhe ke liye kuch keh nahi saki. Usse andaza nahi tha ke wo aise react
karega.

Sandra akeli nahi thi jo Salar ke liye fikar mand thi. Uske dusre doston aur jaan-
pehchaan walon ne bhi usse milke aise hi react kiya. Din ke akhir mein, Salar puri
tarah se pareshan ho gaya aur thoda aggressive ban gaya. Wo university nahi gaya
tha ke uska interrogation ho. Doston ki fikar use baar-baar yaad dilati thi ke kuch
bahut bura hua hai uske saath, aur wo is ehsaas se chhutkara chah raha tha.

"Kya tum is weekend movie dekhne chaloge?" Danish, jo Salar se milne aya tha, ne
poocha.

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"Haan, chalunga," Salar ne maan liya.

"Phir tayyar rehna. Main tumhe pick kar loonga," Danish ne arrangement confirm
kiya.

Danish ne Salar ko pick kiya jaise tay tha. Salar kai hafton baad movie dekhne gaya
tha aur wo ek enjoyable evening ki umeed kar raha tha, lekin movie shuru hone ke
das minute baad hi usne achanak se ek tez aur be-wajah dar mehsoos kiya. Screen
par jo characters the wo usse puppets ki tarah lag rahe the jise wo samajh nahi sakta
tha. Wo chup chap utha aur bahar chala gaya. Danish ki car ke bonnet par lambe
waqt tak baitha raha, phir ek taxi bulai aur apne apartment laut gaya.

Professor Robinson ne apna lecture shuru kar diya tha. Salar ne apne saamne wale
paper par date aur topic likha. Wo economic recession par baat kar rahe the.
Hamesha ki tarah uski aankhein professor par thi lekin uska dimag kahin aur tha. Yeh
pehli baar tha uski zindagi mein ke usse nahi pata tha ke wo zehni tor par kahaan
hai. Uska dimag ek tasveer se doosri tasveer tak, aur phir teesri tasveer tak ja raha
tha. Ek manzar se doosre manzar tak, aur phir teesre manzar tak. Usne ek awaaz suni,
phir doosri aur phir teesri. Usse nahi pata tha ke uski journey kahan se shuru hui thi
ya wo kahaan tha.

"Salar, hum chalein?" Sandra ne uske kandhe ko hila kar poocha.

Wo chaket reh gaya. Classroom khali thi aur sirf Sandra uske paas thi. Usne hairani se
khali classroom, wall clock aur apni wristwatch dekhi.

"Prof. Robinson kahaan hai?" usne jhat se poocha.

"Class khatam ho gayi hai aur wo chale gaye hain," Sandra ne hairani se uski taraf
dekhte hue jawab diya.

"Class khatam ho gayi?" usne shak se poocha.

"Haan."

Salar ne apni aankhein zor se masa aur piche ki taraf jhuk gaya. Prof. Robinson ke
lecture ka sirf topic yaad tha aur kuch nahi. Usse nahi pata tha ke professor ne kya
kaha tha.

"Tum thode pareshan lag rahe ho?" Sandra ne poocha.

"Kuch nahi, waqai kuch nahi. Main yahan akela baithna chahta hoon thodi der."

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"OK," Sandra ne kaha aur uski taraf dekhte hue apni cheezen uthai aur chale gayi.

Usne apne seene par haath bandh liya aur saamne wale blackboard ko ghoorne laga.
Yeh din ka teesra waqia tha. Usne socha tha ke university dobara join karne par sab
normal ho jayega aur wo apne depression se bahar aa jayega. Lekin aisa nahi hua.
University mein bhi wo apne zehni turmoil ka shikar bana raha. Pehli baar, uski
studies mein dilchaspi kam ho rahi thi: sab kuch artificial lag raha tha. Pehli baar uski
zindagi mein, wo gehre depression mein chala gaya tha. Studies, university, doston,
club, parties, restaurants, outings aur sab kuch uske liye be-maeni ho gaya tha. Usne
doston se milna bandh kar diya tha. Uska phone aksar recorded message chalata tha
ke wo ghar par nahi hai. Doston ke israr par, wo unke saath bahar jane ke liye maan
jata, lekin aakhri waqt par mana kar deta. Agar wo jata bhi, to achanak bina kuch
kahe chala jata. University mein bhi wo yahi kar raha tha. Ek din class attend karta
aur agle do din nahi aata. Ek class attend karta aur agle do miss kar deta.

Kabhi-kabhi, wo apne apartment mein pura din bed par bita deta. Wo koi film
dekhna shuru karta lekin kuch minute baad, usse pata nahi hota tha ke wo kya dekh
raha hai. TV channels flick karte waqt bhi aisa hi hota tha. Uski bhook khatam ho
gayi thi—khaana shuru karta lekin aadhe raste par chor deta aur kuch din to bina
khaye rehta. Sirf coffee ke cups peete rehta.

Woh chain-smoker nahi tha, lekin ab woh ban gaya tha. Woh fitratan ek munazzam
aur saf-suthra shakhs tha, magar ab uska apartment aik ghubaar aur ghalat ka
tasweer tha. Usay idhar-udhar bikhri hui cheezon ka manzar bilkul bhi takleef nahi
deta tha. Uska apne walidain aur behan bhaiyon se raabta kam ho gaya tha aur baat
cheet bhi bohot kam. Woh log bolte rehte aur woh sirf suntay, mushkil se koi jawab
deta. Uske paas unhein batane ko kuch nahi tha – sab kuch khatam ho gaya tha, aur
usay samajh nahi aa rahi thi ke yeh sab kyun ho raha tha.

Lekin usay yeh pata tha ke yeh tamam waqiyat aur khayalat Imama Hashim se
mutaliq thay: agar woh uski zindagi mein nahi aati, toh yeh sab kuch nahi hota. Pehle
woh usay pasand nahi karta tha; ab usay nafrat karta tha. Pehle jo thodi bohot
nadamat thi, ab woh bhi gayab ho gayi thi.

"Jo kuch bhi uske sath hua, theek hua. Jo kuch bhi maine uske sath kiya, woh sahi
tha. Usay yahi milna chahiye tha," woh apne aap se kehta rehta. Usay uske har lafz,
har jumla se nafrat thi jo Imama ne kaha tha. Imama ki guftagu ka khayal uski neend

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aur sukoon ko uda deta: woh ajeeb bechaini mein gharak ho jata. Jo cheezain usne
pehle mazaak mein udayi thi, ab woh uska picha kar rahi thi.

"Kya main pagal ho raha hoon? Dheere dheere apna hosh kho raha hoon? Kya main
schizophrenia ka shikar ho raha hoon?" ajeeb se khauf usay achanak aa gherete. Har
cheez ki be-maqsadi aur be-ma'niat saaf nazar aane lagi thi. Woh kon tha? Kya tha
aur kyun? Kahan tha aur kyun tha? Aise sawaal usay har waqt pareshan karte rehte.
"Jab mujhe Yale se MBA mil jayega tab kya hoga? Mujhe ek achi naukri mil jayegi, ek
factory kholunga, phir kya? Kya yeh hi wajah thi jis ke liye mujhe paida kiya gaya
tha…150+ IQ ke sath taake main kuch aur degrees hasil karoon, ek successful
business chaloon, shaadi karoon, bachay paida karoon, araam aur sukoon se zindagi
guzaroon, phir mar jaoon…bas yahi sab hai?"

Usne apni zindagi mein chaar dafa maut ka tajurba kiya tha, sirf apni curiosity ko
satisfy karne ke liye; lekin ab, intehai depression ke bawajood, usne apni zindagi
khatam karne ki koshish nahi ki. Har waqt maut ka sochne ke bawajood, woh uske
paas jana nahi chahta tha. Lekin agar koi usse poochta ke kya woh zinda rehna
chahta hai, toh woh hesiyat se jawab deta.

Woh zinda nahi rehna chahta tha kyunke usay zindagi ka matlab samajh nahi aa raha
tha. Aur woh marna nahi chahta tha kyunke usay maut ka matlab samajh nahi aa
raha tha. Woh aik khala mein, aik be-wajood mein, kahin zinda aur murda ke
darmiyan latka hua tha…woh apne hedonism ke had ko har pal paar kar raha tha –
yeh shakhs jo bohot high IQ rakhta tha, jo kuch bhi uski samne kaha ya suna gaya,
usay kabhi bhool nahi sakta tha. Cigarette ke dhuan mein ghoomta, beer peeta,
mehngi restaurants mein khana khata, nightclubs mein naachta, apni girl friend ke
sath raat guzarata, uske zehan mein sirf ek hi sawaal tha:
'kya yeh zindagi ka maqsad hai?'

"Daulat aur aish o araam, khushnuma kapray, zabardast khana, zindagi ke saarey
behtareen sahoolatain...aur phir?" Uske paas is "aur phir?" ka koi jawab nahi tha, lekin
yeh sawal uski zindagi ke naqshay ko bigaad raha tha. Dheere dheere woh insomniac
ban raha tha, aur isi doran usne apne aap ko deen ki taraf mutwajeh paya. Usne
dekha tha ke bohot se log depression se bachne ke liye aisa karte hain aur usne bhi
wahi kiya. Usne Islam ke baray mein kuch kitaabain parhnay ki koshish ki, lekin sab
kuch uske sir ke upar se guzar gaya. Koi lafz, koi khayal usay apni taraf nahi khench

228
saka. Woh apne aap ko zabardasti parhnay par majboor karta, lekin chand safay
parhnay ke baad kitaabain aik taraf rakh deta; thori dair baad, woh unhein phir utha
leta aur phir se rakh deta.

"Nahi—shayad mujhe waqai namaz parhna shuru karna chahiye; shayad yeh
madadgar ho," Salar ne apne aap se kaha, aur aik din jab woh Saad ke sath tha, usne
yeh khwahish izhar ki.

"Main tumhare sath chalunga," usne Saad ko kaha, jo bahar ja raha tha.

"Lekin main isha ki namaz parhnay ja raha hoon," Saad ne use yaad dilaya.

"Mujhe pata hai," usne apne joggers ke feete bandhate huay kaha.

"Masjid chaloge?" Saad hairan hua.

"Haan." Salar uth gaya.

"Namaz parhnay?" "Haan," usne jawab diya. "Aur mujhe woh nazar dene ki zaroorat
nahi hai—akhir kar main kafir nahi hoon."

"Nahi, tum kafir nahi ho, lekin...kher, chalo aur namaz parho," Saad ne kaha. Phir
achanak usne mauzu badal diya. "Maine tumhe kitni dafa pehle kaha tha ke sath
chalo."

Salar ne koi jawab nahi diya; woh chup chap Saad ke sath bahar chal pada.

"Agar tum aaj masjid aye ho, toh isay jari rakho. Yeh tumhari pehli aur aakhri
mulaqat na ho," Saad ne kaha.

Jab woh bahar nikle, toh barf gir rahi thi. Masjid residential building se kuch faaslay
par thi; yeh aik ghar tha jo aik Misri khandan ka tha. Unhon ne zameeni manzil
masjid ke tor par dein rakhi thi jabke uper ki manzil mein woh rehte the. Kabhi kabhi,
wahan namaz parhne walon ki tadaad bees se pachees hoti, lekin zyadatar das ya
pandrah log hi hote. Saad ne Salar ko yeh sab tafseelat batate huay masjid tak
pohnchaya. Salar ne khamoshi se uska saath diya, thora beparwah, lekin barf se dhaki
raahon par phisalti gaariyon se bach kar chal raha tha.

Kuch minute chalne ke baad, unhon ne aik gali ka rukh kia aur darwaza khol kar,
Saad ne ghar mein dakhil hua. Darwaza band tha lekin taala nahi laga tha; Saad ne
na dastak di aur na hi ijazat maangi—uski harkatain kaafi waqifana thi. Salar uske
peechay chala gaya.

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"Wuzu karlo." Saad ne Salar ko kaha, aur usay bathroom le gaya. Thande paani se
haath dhote huay usay kaanpish mehsoos hui. Jab tak Salar Saad ke dehan mein
wuzu ke aakhri marahil par pohncha, thanda paani kuch garam ho gaya tha. Jab usne
apne haath sir ke upar phera, toh achanak ruk gaya. Saad ko laga shayad Salar ko
sahi tareeqa nahi pata, isliye usne phir se rehnumai ki. Thoda ghayal-e-khayal, Salar
ne uska kaha maana. Jab uske haath gardan ke peechay gaye, toh usay apni
pehnawa chain mehsoos hui aur uski nazar samne wale aayine par padi. Ek martaba
phir, uska zehan kahin aur tha—Saad kuch keh raha tha, lekin usay sunai nahi diya.

Woh das log jo kamray mein thay, do safon mein kharay thay. Saad aur Salar ne
peeche ki saf mein shamil ho gaye. Imam ne namaz shuru ki aur baki sab ke sath,
Salar ne bhi niyat ki.

"Kya namaz waqai sukoon deti hai?" Usne doh hafte pehle ek naujawaan ko Saad se
namaz ke mutaliq behas karte dekha tha.

"Mujhe sukoon milta hai," Saad ne jawab diya tha.

"Main tumhari baat nahi kar raha, sabki baat kar raha hoon—kya sabko sukoon milta
hai?"

"Yeh logon ki involvement pe depend karta hai," Saad ka jawab tha.

Salar ek taraf khada, bore ho kar, unki behas sun raha tha bina kisi comment ya
mudakhlat ke. Woh apne aap ko is mauzu par dilchaspi lene par majboor kar raha
tha.

"Sukoon? Main waqai dekhna chahta hoon ke yeh kaisa sukoon lata hai," usne socha
jab woh ruku ke liye jhuka. Phir usne pehla sajda kiya.

Uski bechaini aur ghabrahat achanak barh gayi. Imam ke bolay huay alfaaz uske liye
ajeeb thay; uske ird gird ke log ajnabi thay, anjaan; mahaul ghair fitri tha, aur jo kuch
bhi woh kar raha tha woh sab jhoot, ek munafiqat lag rahi thi.

Har sajday ke sath uske dil aur dimagh par bojh barhta gaya, aur usne aakhri chaar
marahil bohot mushkil se mukammal kiye. Jab usne salam phera aur mud ke dekha,
toh uske daayein taraf baithe adhi umar ke aadmi ke chehre par aansoo beh rahe
thay. Usne wahan se uth kar bhaag jaane ka irada kiya lekin apne aap ko doobara
namaz ke liye khara karne par majboor kiya aur jitni dilchaspi le sakta tha utni lene ki
koshish ki.

230
"Is dafa main har ayat par tawajju dunga," usne socha. "Shayad is tarah..." lekin uske
khayalat bikhar gaye. Niyat ki ja rahi thi. Salar ko bohot udasi mehsoos hui—uske
dimagh par dabaav barhta gaya.

Surah al-Fateha ki tilawat shuru hui.

"Bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Rahim. Alhamdulillahi Rabbil 'Aalameen, ar-Rahman ir-Rahim."

Salar ne apna pura zor lagaya ke tawajju de.

"Maalik-e-yaum-id-Deen..." Uski tawajju idhar udhar chali gayi.

"Iyyaka na'budu wa iyyaka nasta'een." Usay Surah al-Fateha ka tarjuma pata tha; kuch
din pehle usne parha tha.

"Ihdinas sirat al-mustaqeem"—Sirat al mustaqeem, seedha rasta, usne apne aap se

dohraya.

Seedha rasta? Usne bhaag jana chaha. Usne namaz jari rakhne ki aakhri koshish ki.

"Sirat alladhina an'amta 'alayhim..." Phir se, uska dimagh kahin aur chala gaya.

"ghayril maghdubi 'alayhim walad-daalin." Woh aakhri saf mein tha: bohot ahista,
usne apne haath neeche kar diye aur saf se bahar nikal gaya.

"Main yeh nahi kar sakta. Main namaz nahi parh sakta." Usne ikrar kiya. Woh dheere
se peechay hata, bina kisi ko patay huay jab doosre ruku mein gaye, aur bohot jaldi
se kamray se nikal gaya. Apne joggers uthate huay, woh seedhiyan utarta, idhar
udhar dekhta raha. Jootay aur moze haath mein, woh imarat ke peechay ki deewar
ke paas utar gaya. Wahan ek aur sethiyan thi, jo barf se dhaki hui thi aur ek aur
darwaza. Andhera tha kyunki wahan koi roshni nahi thi. Jhuk kar, usne barf ko hataya
aur wahan baith kar apne jootay pehane, phir darwaza ke saath tik gaya. Uske jaket
ka hood uske sir par tha aur haath jaib mein thay. Samne wali road par traffic kam
tha.

Salar wahan baitha cars aur pedestrians ko dekh raha tha. Thandi aur dhund bhari
raat ki hawa mein baith kar usay ziada sukoon mehsoos hua banisbat garm aur rahat
dey kamray mein. Apni jaib se lighter nikaal kar, usne barf ko pighlane ki koshish ki.
Isne kuch dair usay masroof rakha lekin phir woh bore ho gaya aur lighter wapas
rakh diya. Jab usne seedha hona chaaha, usay pata chala ke ek aurat uske samne
khadi thi; usne uski mojoodgi ko nahi mehsoos kiya tha kyunki woh neeche dekh

231
raha tha. Andhere mein bhi, woh uske chehre par muskurahat dekh sakta tha. Woh
ek fur coat pehne thi jo artfully khula chhoda hua tha, ek miniskirt aur skimpy blouse
ko zaahir karte huay. Haath apne coat ki jaibon mein dale, woh Salar ke samne
bohot seductive andaaz mein khadi thi. Usne usay sar se paon tak dekha. Uske
lambay, khubsurat paon nange thay, thand ke bawajood. Usne uske paon ko ghoorta
raha, jo peeche neon lights ke saath highlighted thay. Usne high-heeled boots pehni
thi aur Salar ne socha ke yeh barf se dhaki raahon par kaise chal sakti hai.

"Main pachas dollar per ghanta charge karti hoon," usne bohot chummily kaha. Salar
ne uske paon se upar uske chehre tak dekha, phir wapas uske paon ko. Yeh pehli
dafa tha jab usne ek prostitute ke liye afsos mehsoos kiya, yeh soch kar ke usay kya
cheez majboor karti hai ke woh aadi nangi aise barf bhari mausam mein ghoomti hai
jabke usne apne garm jeans ke bawajood sardi mehsoos ki.

"Chalo theek hai, chaalis dollars," usne kaha, jab usne jawab nahi diya. Usne socha ke
shayad usay rate zyada lag raha hai, isliye usne apni price kam kar di. Salar ko pata
tha ke chaalis bhi zyada hai— is gali mein, woh kisi larki ko bees dollars mein bhi
hasil kar sakta tha. Yeh aurat kariban pantees ya chalis saal ki lag rahi thi, aur usne
idhar-udhar dekhte huay Salar se baat ki. Salar ko pata tha ke woh police ka dehaan
rakh rahi thi.

"Chalo theek hai, tees—aur zyada bargening nahi. Lena hai toh lo, warna choro,"
usne apni rates aur kam kar di Salar ki khamoshi ko dekhte huay. Baghair kuch kahe,
Salar ne apni jaib se kuch notes nikaale—woh wallet nahi laya tha—aur unhein uske
taraf badha diya. Usne unhein jhat se le liya: pehli dafa, koi client usay advance
payment de raha tha aur woh bhi pachaas dollars, jab usne kam quote kiya tha.

"Main tumhare sath chaloon ya tum mere sath chalogay?" usne bohot casually
poocha.

"Na main tumhare sath jaunga, na tum mere sath chalo. Tum ab ja sakti ho," Salar ne
bayparwahi se kaha, uske peeche road ke us paar dukaanon ko dekhte huay.

Woh aurat shak se usay dekhne lagi. "Waqai?"

"Haan," usne be-hiss jawab diya.

"Phir yeh kyun diya?" usne woh notes jo ab bhi uske haath mein thay, dikhaaye.

232
"Tumhare samne se hatne ke liye. Main in dukaanon ko dekhna chahta hoon aur tum
raste mein ho," usne thande lehje mein kaha.

Woh zor se hans padhi. "Tum mazak bhi kar lete ho, haina? Tum waqai chahte ho ke
main chali jaoon?"

"Haan."

Woh kuch dair usay dekhte rahi. "Theek hai, shukriya." Salar ne dekha ke woh road
paar kar rahi thi, aur baghair kisi khaas dilchaspi ke, usay doosri taraf chalte huay
dekha. Wahan ek aadmi khada tha.

Salar phir se dukaanon ko dekhne laga. Barf phir se girne lagi, lekin woh wahan
baitha raha jab tak sab dukaanein ek ek kar ke band na ho gayi. Phir, apne kapdon
se barf jhaadte huay, woh uth gaya. Agar woh waqt waqt par apni tangain nahi hila
raha hota, toh woh apne pairo par khara nahi ho sakta tha. Raat ke dhai baj rahe
thay. Apne haath jaib mein daal kar, aur apni tangain hilaate huay, woh ghar chal
pada. Usay pata tha ke Saad usay dhoondta raha hoga aur usay na pa kar ghar chala
gaya hoga.

"Kahan chale gaye thay tum?" Saad chillaya jab Salar bina kuch kahe andar aaya.

"Main tumse kuch pooch raha hoon," Saad ne ilzaam lagaya. Usne darwaza band kiya
aur Salar ke peechay aaya.

"Main kahin nahi gaya," Salar ne apni jacket utarte huay jawab diya.

"Maloom hai tumhe kitni der tak main tumhe dhoondta raha—na jaane kahan kahan
aur kise kise phone kiya. Main bohot pareshan tha aur police ko phone karne wala
tha…tum namaz adhay mein chor kar kahan chale gaye thay?"

"Maine kaha na—kahin nahi." Salar apne joggers utar raha tha.

"Phir tum itni der kahan thay?" Saad uske samne khada tha.

"Bas wahan, masjid ke peeche footpath par."

"Kya? Tum wahan sari raat barf mein baithe rahe?" Saad ko yaqeen nahi aaya.

"Haan."

"Tum bilkul be-hiss ho!" Saad ne gusse se kaha.

Salar bistar par let gaya. "Haan—waqai be-hiss," usne maan liya.

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Saad ne poocha ke kya Salar ne khana khaya hai aur agar woh khana chahta hai,
lekin usne inkar kar diya ke usay bhook nahi hai. Salar bas chhat ko ghoorta raha.

Saad uske paas aake baith gaya.

"Kya masla hai? Kya tum mujhe bata sakte ho?"

Salar ne apni gardan ghuma ke Saad ko dekha. "Kuch nahi; koi masla nahi," usne
bay-his hawaaz mein kaha.

"Mujhe laga tum apne apartment wapas chale gaye ho. Main wahan bar-bar phone
karta raha, lekin koi jawab nahi mila," Saad shikayat kar raha tha, lekin Salar ne apni
nazar chhat par hi rakhi. "Behtar hota agar main tumhe namaz ke liye sath chalne ko
nahi kehta. Agle dafa mere sath mat ana."

Saad bohot naraz tha. Woh uth gaya aur apna kaam samet kar, night lamp band
karke apne bistar par let gaya. Thodi dair baad, jab woh neend mein jaane wala tha,
usne Salar ko apna naam pukarte suna.

"Kya hai?" Saad ne uski taraf dekha.

"Sirat-e-mustaqeem kya hai?"

Yeh seedha sawal Saad ko hairan kar gaya. Usne mud kar Salar ki taraf dekha jo uske
bayein bistar par seedha let gaya tha.

"Sirat-e-mustaqeem... yeh seedha rasta hai."

"Mujhe pata hai, lekin seedha rasta kya hai?" Ek aur sawal.

"Seedha rasta neik amal ka rasta hai."

"Neik amal kya hai?" Lahja ab bhi bay-his tha.

"Neik amal woh hain jo doosron ke liye kiye jaate hain... jese kisi ki madad karna, kisi
par ehsaan karna. Yeh neik amal hain aur har neik amal neiki hai."

"Kuch ghante pehle, maine ek randi ko pachaas dollars diye, jabke woh sirf tees
maang rahi thi. Kya yeh neik amal tha? Neiki?"

Saad ka dil chaaha ke uske mooh par mukka maare: yeh banda ajeeb hai. "Chup ho
jao aur so jao, aur mujhe bhi sone do!" Usne apni kambal oadh li.

"Toh yeh neik amal nahi tha?" Salar Saad ke gusse par hairan tha.

234
"Maine tumse kaha na, chup ho jao aur so jao." Saad uspar cheekha.

"Itna gussa honay ki zaroorat nahi hai. Maine sirf ek aam sawal poocha," Salar bohot
sabr ke sath bola.

Saad gusse se bhadak gaya. Usne lamp on kiya aur bistar par baith gaya. "Main tum
jese shakhs ko sirat-e-mustaqeem ka matlab kaise samjha sakta hoon? Tum pagal ho
ya jaahil? Ya non-Muslim? Tum kya ho…ya kuch bhi nahi? Tumhe pata hona chahiye
ke iska kya matlab hai! Lekin ek shakhs jo namaz adhay mein chor kar chala jaye,
woh kya jaane ke iska kya matlab hai."

"Maine namaz adhay mein isliye chori kyunki tum kehte ho ke isse sukoon milta hai,
aur mujhe koi sukoon ya sakoonat mehsoos nahi hui—isse liye main chala gaya."
Salar ke comments, jo ek pur sukoon lehje mein diye gaye, ne Saad ko aur bhi gussa
dila diya.

"Tumhe sukoon isliye nahi mila kyunki tumhara jagah masjid mein nahi hai. Tumhare
liye sukoon cinema halls, theatres, bars aur night clubs mein hai. Masjid tumhare liye
nahi hai isliye tumhe wahan sukoon kaise milta? Aur tum chahte ho ke main tumhe
seedha rasta samjhaoon!"

Salar ne Saad ko ghur kar dekha.

"Ek shakhs jo namaz se bhaagta hai, jo peeta hai aur zina karta hai, woh na sirat-e-
mustaqeem ko samajh sakta hai aur na hi us rasta par chal sakta hai."

"Toh tumhara matlab hai ke jo log sharab peete hain aur zina karte hain lekin namaz
se bhaagte nahi—jo namaz bhi parte hain—wo sirat-e-mustaqeem ko samajhte hain
aur seedha rasta par hain?"

Saad chupp ho gaya kyunki usay pata tha ke Salar kis taraf ishara kar raha tha. Salar
ne apni nazar apne dost par jamayi rakhi.

"Tum yeh cheezain nahi samajh sakte, Salar," Saad ne kuch dair baad jawab diya.

Ek aur awaaz Salar ke kaano mein goonj uthi, usay jhatka dete huay. "Haan, waqai—
main nahi samajh sakta. Light band karo; mujhe neend aa rahi hai." Bina kisi aur baat
ke, Salar ne mud kar apni aankhein band kar li.

6 mahine pehle....

235
"Main yehan tumhe milne ki umeed kar raha tha. Tumne jaan bujh kar answering
machine on chhodi hui hai. Mere ghar se bhaag kyun gaye?" Saad ne apni narazgi ka
izhar kiya. Agle subah woh Salar ke apartment mein tha. Salar ne neend bharay halat
mein darwaza khola.

"Main bhaaga nahi—tum so rahe thay aur mujhe tumhe disturb karna theek nahi
laga." Salar ne apni aankhein malte huay jawab diya.

"Tum kab gaye?"

"Shayad 4 ya 5 baje."

"Yeh jaane ka waqt nahi tha," Saad ne tezi se kaha. "Aur tum aise chupke se kyun
nikal gaye?"

Salar jawab dene ke bajaye living room mein sofa par ulta lete gaya.

"Shayad, tum meri baat ka bura maan gaye thay. Isliye main maafi mangne aya
hoon," Saad ne kaha, doosre sofa par baithte huay.

"Tumne mujhe kya kaha?" Salar ne mud kar uski taraf dekha.

"Sab kuch jo maine kal raat tumse narazgi mein kaha," Saad ne maafi maangte huay
kaha.

"Aray nahi, mujhe aisi choti choti baaton ka bura nahi lagta. Tumne aisi koi baat nahi
ki jiske liye tumhe maafi mangne ki zaroorat ho," Salar ne beparwahi se jawab diya.

"Phir tum itni jaldi kyun chale gaye?" Saad ne zor diya.

"Bas yeh ke mujhe udaasi mehsoos hui isliye main yahan wapas agaya; aur kyunki
mujhe sona tha, maine answering machine on chhodi," Salar ne pur sukoon lehje
mein samjhaya.

"Phir bhi, mujhe tumse aise baat nahi karni chahiye thi. Subah se mujhe is par bohot
afsos ho raha hai."

"Choro, jane do," Salar ne kaha, apna chehra sofa mein daba ke.

"Salar, aakhir tumhara masla kya hai aaj kal?"

"Kuch nahi."

"Nahi, kuch toh ghalat hai; tum ajeeb tareeke se behave kar rahe ho."

236
Salar achanak mud kar Saad ki taraf dekha aur poocha, "Mere andar ajeeb kya hai,
misaal ke taur par?"

"Bohot si cheezein...tum kaafi khamosh ho gaye ho; tum choti choti baaton par gussa
ho jate ho. Ibad ne mujhe bataya ke tum university jana chor diye ho. Aur sabse
zaroori baat yeh hai ke tumne deen mein dilchaspi lena shuru kar diya hai."

Aakhri observation ne Salar ke chehre par shikan daal di.

"Deen mein dilchaspi? Tumhe ghalatfehmi hui hai. Main deen mein dilchaspi nahi le
raha; main sukoon-e-dil dhoond raha hoon kyunki aaj kal main bohot udaas rehta
hoon. Kabhi apni zindagi mein mujhe itni udaasi mehsoos nahi hui jitni ab hai. Isi
udaasi se nijaat paane ke liye main tumhare sath masjid gaya tha." Salar ne karwahat
se kaha.

"Tum udaas kyun ho?" Saad ne poocha.

"Agar mujhe pata hota, toh main udaas nahi hota—main kuch iske liye karta."

"Phir bhi, koi toh wajah hogi—insaan aise hi udaas nahi hota," Saad ne kaha.

Salar jaanta tha ke Saad ki baat mein wazan hai, lekin woh Saad ko apni pareshaani
ki wajah batakar uska mazak banane ka mauka nahi dena chahta tha.

"Mujhe doosron ka nahi pata, lekin yeh mere saath bina wajah ke hota hai," usne isse
taalne ki koshish ki.

"Ek anti-depressant try karo," Saad ne mashwara diya.

"Bahut le chuka hoon—koi farq nahi padta."

"Phir ek psychiatrist ko dikhana."

"Yeh toh main kabhi nahi karunga. Main unhein dekh dekh kar tang aa gaya hoon
aur ab aur nahi dekhne wala," Salar ne gusse se kaha.

Saad ko yeh sunkar hairani hui. Uski curiosity barh gayi aur usne poocha, "Pehle kyun
dikhate thay?"

"Bohot si wajah thi—choro, ab isay choro." Salar ne seedha lete huay chhat ki taraf
dekha.

"Phir tumhe regular namaz parhni chahiye."

237
"Maine koshish ki, lekin mujhe namaz mein koi tasalli nahi mili. Aur mujhe nahi pata
tha ke main kya parh raha hoon ya kyun kar raha hoon."

"Phir koshish karo ke pata lagao..."

Salar ne uski baat kaat di. "Chalo kal raat wali behas phir se shuru na karte hain—
phir se tum gussa ho jaoge."

"Nahi, main gussa nahi hunga."

"Jab mujhe pata hi nahi ke sirat-e-mustaqeem kya hai, toh main kaise namaz
parhoon?"

"Namaz shuru karo aur tumhein pata chal jayega."

"Kaise?"

"Tum ghalat kaamon se bach jaoge; tum khud neik kaamon ki taraf rujoo karoge,"
Saad ne samjhane ki koshish ki.

"Lekin main koi ghalat kaam nahi karta, aur na hi mujhe neik kaamon ki taraf koi
raghbat hai. Meri zindagi bilkul normal hai."

"Jab tak tumhe...," Saad ki baat phir se Salar ne kaat di.

"Sahi aur ghalat kaam mere concern nahi hain. Bas mujhe udaasi mehsoos ho rahi
hai aur iska meri kaarkardagi se koi taluq nahi."

"Jo cheezein tum apni zindagi mein indulged karte ho, woh insaan ki zindagi ko
pareshan karti hain."

"Jese?" Salar ne tanaz karte huay poocha.

"Tum pork khate ho."

"Oh come on! Pork ka isse kya taluq?" Salar uth kar Saad ke paas baith gaya. "Mujhe
batao—tum regular aur bohot namaz parte ho—namaz ne tumhare andar kya
tabdeeli lai hai?"

"Mujhe bechaini nahi hoti."

"Jabke tumhare formula ke mutabiq tumhe hona chahiye, kyunki tum bhi bohot se
ghalat kaamon mein indulged ho," Salar ne jawab diya.

"Kaunse ghalat kaam? Ek misaal do."

238
"Tum achi tarah se jaante ho. Mujhe dohrane ki zaroorat nahi."

"Nahi, main nahi jaanta...isliye please dohrao," Saad ne challenge karte huay kaha.

Salar kuch dair tak usay dekhta raha, phir jawab diya, "Mujhe yakeen nahi, Saad, ke
sirf namaz parhne se zindagi mein koi bari tabdeeli aa sakti hai. Neik amal aur achi
kirdar sirf namaz se nahi aate."

"Isliye main tumhe kehta hoon ke apne deen mein dilchaspi lo. Islam ke baare mein
kuch ilm hasil karo taake tum apne ghalat nazariye se chutkara pa sako aur apne
nazar ki tabdeeli kar sako," Saad ne beech mein dakhal diya.

"Mere nazariye ghalat nahi hain. Maine kisi bhi deeni shakhs ko jhoot bolne wala,
munafiq aur dhokebaaz se zyada nahi dekha. Mujhe umeed hai ke tum bura nahi
manoge, lekin yeh sach hai. Maine aise teen logon se mulaqat ki hai jo Islam ke bare
me bohot baat karte hain, namaz parte hain, lekin teeno jhootay nikle," Salar ne
karwahat se kaha.

"Pehli ek larki thi—bohot paki, pardah karti thi, apni achayi aur parsaayi ka bohot
dhoom macha rahi thi, aur ek ladke ke sath afair chala rahi thi jabke doosre se
mangni thi. Apne mehboob ke sath bhagne ke liye ghar se nikal gayi, aur jab
zaroorat padi, us shakhs se madad bhi li jise woh nafrat karti thi—apne matlab ke
liye uska faida uthana usne kuch nahi samjha. Yeh thi Miss Piety and Devotion!" Salar
ke chehre par ek tamaskhur bhari muskurahat thi.

"Phir, mujhe ek daadhi wala shakhs mila jo bohot deeni lagta tha. Usne us larki ki
madad karne ke liye ungli tak nahi uthai jo usse madad maang rahi thi. Usne us larki
se shadi nahi ki jo uske pyaar ke naam par uske sath bewakoofi karti rahi. Abhi haal
hi mein, main usse phir mila, yahan US mein, aur uski daadhi ke sath sath uska deen
bhi gayab ho gaya tha." Phir Salar zor se hans para.

"Teesra tum ho. Tum pork nahi khate—that’s the one forbidden act you abstain from;
baqi sab kuch tumhare liye jayaz hai. Jhoot bolna, sharab peena, zina karna, clubs
jana, doosron ki burai karna, doosron ka mazak urana—jabke tum baaki bohot parsa
ho. Tumhari daadhi hai aur tum logon ko apni preaching se pareshan karte ho; tum
logon ko namaz parhne par majboor karte ho. Tum har qadam par Islam ka hawala
dete rehte ho—yeh ayat, woh hadith... woh ayat, yeh hadith... tumhare paas kehne ko
bas yahi hota hai. Tum tasavvur nahi kar sakte ke tumhare waaz kitne unbearable

239
hote hain! Jab main tumhare rawaiye ko dekhta hoon, toh mujh par koi asar nahi
hota. Hum dono mein koi khaas farq nahi hai—tumhare deeni rawaiye aur Islam ki
ceaseless baaton ke sath, tum woh sab kuch kar rahe ho jo main bina daadhi aur
bina deen ke karta hoon."

"Namaz ne tumhari zindagi mein kya bara inquilab laya hai, siwaye is galat fehmi ke
ke tum jannat ki taraf ja rahe ho jabke baaki hum jahannum mein ja rahe hain? Agar
mujhe tumhare alfaaz aur kaam mein yeh tanaquz na milta, toh main tumse yeh baat
kabhi nahi kehta. Lekin meri ek request hai: please logon ko deen ki taraf attract
karne ki koshish mat karo, kyunki mujhe lagta hai tumhe khud bhi iske bare mein
zyada nahi pata."

"Ab, please jo kuch maine kaha uska bura mat manna," Salar ne apni baat khatam ki.
Saad shook ke sath practically mute ho gaya.

Kuch dair baad, Saad ne jawab diya. "Main maanta hoon ke main galtiyan karta
hoon. Lekin Allah apne bandon ko maaf karta hai. Main kabhi nahi kaha ke main
perfect Muslim hoon ya mujhe jannat mein jagah milegi. Lekin agar main kuch acha
karta hoon aur doosron ko achai ki taraf bulata hoon, toh main ise ek divine mission
maanta hoon."

"Saad, doosron ki zimmedari apne sir par mat lo. Apne aap ko theek karo pehle, phir
doosron ko theek karne niklo, taake tumhe munafiq na kaha jaye. Jahan tak Allah ki
maafi ka taluq hai, agar woh tumhe maaf kar sakta hai, toh woh hume bhi maaf kar
sakta hai. Agar tum yeh sochte ho ke Islam ki preaching kar ke tumhare gunaah kam
ho jayenge aur tum Allah ke qareeb ho jaoge—apne gunaahon ke bawajood—aisa
nahi hai. Apna record theek karo, aur apne aap ko dekho, doosron ki fikr karna
choro: Hume jaisa hai rehne do."

Salar ke alfaaz sakht thay, lekin usne Saad ke sath apne khayalat share kar diye. Jab
usne apni baat khatam ki, Saad uth gaya aur chala gaya. Us din ke baad, usne kabhi
Salar se deen ke mawzoo par baat nahi ki.

--------------------------------------

240
Bohat arsay baad, us nay us weekend pe raat ka khana khanay kay liye aik restaurant
gaya. Waiter nay uska order lia, aur phir Salar ne khirki kay bahar sadak ko dekhtay
huay waqt guzarna shuru kar diya. French windows ke paas beth kar, usay aisa
mehsoos ho raha tha ke jaise wo asal main footpath par betha ho.

Uska dhyan ek aurat ke roney ki awaz par gaya. Palat kar dekha, to uske peechay
wali mez par aik larki aur larka baithe thay. Larki dheere dheere ro rahi thi aur tissue
se apni aankhein ponch rahi thi. Larka uska haath thapthapa kar shayad usay tasalli
de raha tha. Restaurant itna chhota aur mez itnay nazdeek thay ke wo unki guftagu
sun sakta tha, magar yeh uska irada nahi tha aur usnay apna dhyan hata liya. Usay
aik kashti si mehsoos hui: wo aise rawaiye ko pasand nahi karta tha. Wo yahan aik
pur sukoon shaam guzarne aaya tha aur yeh waqiya usay bura mehsoos karne laga.

Uske peechay baitha joda Russian tha aur wo apni zubaan main baat kar rahe thay.
Salar ne phir se khirki ke bahar dekhna shuru kiya magar ek kaan unke muted
aansuon aur khamosh guftagu ki taraf lag gaya. Usne phir se palat kar unki taraf
dekha, aur is dafa larki ki nazar us par pari. Yeh chand lamhe seemabi lagay—larki ki
suji hui aankhon aur udas chehre ne usay dusri chehre ki yaad dila di—Imama
Hashim ki.

Waiter uska order laya aur uske samne khana rakha. Salar ne pani ke chand ghont
piye aur yadon ko mitane ki koshish ki. Usne chand lambi saansein li aur waiter ne
usay curious taur par dekha—Salar khirki ke bahar ka manzar dekhne main masroof
tha.

"Meri koshish hai ke main yeh acha din enjoy karun, acha khana khau. Phir cinema
jane ka irada hai. Mujhe us larki ke bare main nahi sochna chahiye—wo pagal thi,
bakwas karti thi aur mujhe us par koi pachtawa nahi hona chahiye. Mujhe kaise pata
ke wo kahan gayi? Sab uska apna kiya tha. Main bas uske saath khel raha tha—agar
usne mujhse raabta kiya hota, to main usay talak de deta."

Beikhudi main, uska pachtawa uske amal ka difa karte huay samne aaya. Peche baithi
larki ke aansu uske zehan main teer ban kar chubh rahe thay.

"Mujhe apni mez badalni hai," usne waiter se kafi tezi se kaha.

"Kyoon, sir?" Waiter ne hairan ho kar kaha.

241
"Ya phir unki mez badal do," Salar ne jo k couple ki taraf ishara kiya. Yaqeen nahi tha
ke waiter ne Salar ka masla samjha ya nahi, magar khair, usne Salar ko ek kone wali
mez par bitha diya.

Salar ne sukoon mehsoos kiya ke ab wo uski siskian nahi sun raha tha, magar ab wo
uske samne thi. Usne phir se usay dekha jab usne pehla niwala uthaya. Achanak, sab
kuch be maza lagne laga, be zayka. Yaqeenan, yeh uska zehni haal tha na ke khana—
restaurant apni cuisine ke liye mashhoor tha.

"Log Allah ka shukar ada nahi karte ke unko jo ne'matain milti hain. Khana chakhne
ki salahiat, mazeed acha khana khane ka ehsaas bhi aik barkat hai—ke main acha
khana chakh sakta hoon aur usay enjoy kar sakta hoon. Bohat se log is se mehroom
hain."

Uski awaz uske zehan main goonj rahi thi aur yeh sabar ka had tha. Jaise aik aatish-
fishan, wo phat pada. Chammach zor se plate par maar kar, wo apni kursi se uth
khada hua aur cheekh kar bola.

"Chup raho! Bas chup raho!" restaurant main ek khamoshi cha gayi.

"Kamini! Haramzadi! Bas chup raho!" uska chehra surkh ho gaya. "Tum mere zehan
se kyoon nahi nikalti?"

Usne phir se cheekh kar kaha, apni konpain pakad kar. "Main tumhe maar daloon ga
agar tum dobara samne ayi!" usne phir cheekh kar kaha.

Phir usne pani ka glass piya aur jagah ko wapas focus main layi—restaurant, wahan
ke log. Usne dekha ke waiter uski taraf fikar mand hotay huay aaraha tha.

"Kya aap theek hain, sir?"

Bina kuch kahe, Salar ne apni wallet nikali, kuch dollar bills mez par rakhe aur
restaurant se chala gaya.

Yeh Imama nahi thi—yeh aik bura saya tha jo uska peecha karta tha jahan bhi wo
jata. Ya to uska chehra hota ya uski awaz aur agar yeh na hotay to uska pachtawa
hota. Jab wo usay bhoolne ki koshish karta to kuch aur samne ajata. Kabhi wo itna
volatile aur pareeshan ho jata ke agar wo samne ajati, to wo usay gala ghot kar ya
goli mar kar khatam kar deta. Usay uska sab kuch se nafrat thi. Wo chand ghantay jo

242
usne usay rat bhar drive karte guzaray thay, uske poore zindagi ko dhundhla diya
tha.

-------------------------------------

"Par tum kyun aa rahe ho?" Salar ne apne bade bhai se baat karte hue chirchira ho
gaya, jo kuch din baad New Haven aane ka bata raha tha. Agar Salar ki zindagi aik
routine mein chal rahi hoti, to wo is khabar ka khair maqdam karta. Lekin wo buray
waqt se guzar raha tha aur Kamran ka aana usay parishan kar raha tha. Wo apni
chirchiraahat chupaa nahi saka.

"Kya matlab kyun aa raha hoon? Tumse milne aa raha hoon, aur kya!" Kamran Salar
ke lehje se thora hairan tha. "Aur Papa ne bhi kaha tha ke tumse miloon."

Salar ne daanto ko bhinchte hue uski baat suni.

"Mujhe airport se lene ana. Flight details aik din pehle de doon ga." Kuch mamooli
guftagu ke baad unki call khatam hui.

Chaar din baad, Salar ne airport par Kamran ko receive kiya. Kamran usay dekh kar
hairan reh gaya.

"Kya tum bemar rahe ho?" Kamran ne pucha.

"Nahi—main theek hoon." Salar ne muskurane ki koshish ki.

"Yeh tumhe dekh kar nahi lagta." Kamran ki fikar barh gayi. Salar se baat karte hue
wo aankhon main aankhein dalta tha. Ab wo nazar chura raha tha. Kamran ne gaari
chalate hue usay observe kiya; pehle wo bohat rash driver tha, itna ke uske saath
baitna apni jaan jokhon main dalne ke barabar tha, lekin ab wo bohat ehtiyaat se
gaari chala raha tha.

Kamran ne socha yeh uske bhai ki aik achi tabdeeli thi; lekin yehi sirf aik achi
tabdeeli thi—baaki tabdeeliyan jo Kamran ne dekhi wo usay pareshaan kar rahi thi.

"Padhaayi kaisi chal rahi hai?"

"Theek chal rahi hai."

243
Poore safar main, Kamran ko Salar se isi tarah ke jawab milte rahe. Jab wo uske
apartment pahunche, Kamran dekh kar dar gaya.

"Yeh tumhara apartment hai, Salar? Mera Khuda!"

Salar bohat munazzam rehta tha, sab kuch apni jagah par rakhta tha magar yeh
tarteeb kahin nazar nahi aa rahi thi. Har jagah afra tafri thi—uske kapray aur jootay
idhar udhar bikharay hue thay; kitabein, akhbar aur magazines chhitti thi; kitchen
ghaleez thi aur bathroom aur bhi bura. Kamran ne apartment ka jaiza liya, usay dekh
kar shock lag gaya.

"Kitne arsay se tumne yeh jagah saaf nahi ki?"

"Abhi kar leta hoon," Salar ne thanday lehje mein jawab diya.

"Tum aise nahi rehte thay—ab kya ho gaya?"

Kamran ko sabse zyada fikar ho rahi thi. Uski nazar ek ashtray par pari jo cigarette ke
butts se bhar gaya tha. Usne usay uthaya aur uska saans liya. Salar ne apne bhai ko
teekhi nazar se dekha magar kuch kaha nahi. Kamran ne nafrat se ashtray wapas
rakha aur uski taraf mud gaya.

"Salar, is dafa tum kya kar rahe ho? Sach batau—masla kya hai? Kya ho raha hai?
Tum drugs le rahe ho?"

"Nahi, main kuch nahi le raha." Uske jawab ne Kamran ko ghusse mein daal diya,
usne Salar ke kandho ko pakda aur usay bathroom ke sheesha ke samne le gaya.

"Apne aap ko dekho—tum nashay ke adhi lag rahe ho aur usi tarah behave kar rahe
ho. Apni aankhein uthao, Salar, apna chehra dekho!"

Kamran uski gardan ko kheench raha tha. Baghair apne aks ko dekhe, Salar ko pata
tha ke wo kaisa lag raha hoga. Kya dekha ja sakta tha siwaye uske aankhon ke
neeche kali halke aur chehre par ugai hui daadhi ke. Yeh tasveer poori hoti thi uske
chehre par daagh aur pimples aur uske sookhe honth jo ke be inteha coffee aur
cigarettes ka natija thay. Usne shaving band kar di thi apne acne se bhari hui skin ki
wajah se.

Pareeshan hokar usne Kamran ki pakar se apne aap ko azad kiya aur bina sheesha
dekhe wahan se nikal gaya.

244
"Yeh bilkul ghinona lag raha hai, baddua laga hua!" Kamran aksar 'cursed' ka lafz use
karta tha, lekin Salar ne aaj se pehle isay itna mehsoos nahi kiya tha. Wo ghusse se
bhar gaya.

"Han—ghinona aur baddua laga: to kya? Jab main keh raha hoon ke main drugs nahi
le raha, to tumhe mujh par yaqeen karna chahiye."

"Yaqeen karoon? Huh!" Kamran ke lehje se tanasur tapak raha tha. Daanton ko
bhinch kar ghusse se, Salar bagair kuch kahe kamra saaf karne laga.

"Kya tum university ke classes attend kar rahe ho?" Salar ko ek warning bell sunai di.

"Kar raha hoon."

Kamran mutmain nahi hua.

"Mere saath hospital chalo; main chahta hoon ke tumhara poora check-up ho."

"Agar yeh tumhare aane ka maqsad hai, to behtar hai tum wapas chalay jao. Main
koi kindergarten ka bacha nahi hoon—main apna khayal rakh sakta hoon."

Kamran ne koi jawab nahi diya. Wo Salar ke saath cheezein theek karne laga. Salar
ne sakoon ka saans liya; usne socha ke yeh bahas khatam ho gayi lekin wo ghalat
tha. Kamran ne New Haven mein apne stay ko ek hafta extend kar diya. Is dauran,
Salar ne classes regularly attend ki. Kamran doosri taraf, Salar ke doston aur uske
professors se mila. Usne Salar ke doston se uske semester mein fail hone ka suna—
yeh Kamran ke liye aik shock tha.

Kuch bhi expect kiya ja sakta tha Salar se lekin itna bura fail hona, jab tak wo lately
academic records tod raha tha aur university top kar raha tha.

Is dafa, Kamran ne Salar se kuch discuss nahi kiya. Usne Pakistan mein apne walid ko
phone kiya aur situation ka brief diya. Aik martaba phir, Sikandar Usman ke pairon
tale zameen khisak gayi—Salar apna purana record barkarar rakha hua tha. Har do
saal baad, wo apne walid ko naye problems ka silsila deta. Hashim Mubeen aur
Imama ka mamla bhi itna hi purana tha.

"Abhi usse is bare main baat na karo," Kamran ne mashwara diya. "University
chhuttiyon ke liye band hone wali hai, to usay kuch arsa Pakistan bulalo. Phir
Mummy ko uske saath bhejo aur yahan rahe jab tak wo apni padhaai mukammal
kare."

245
Sikandar ne Kamran ka mashwara maana. Chhuttiyon ke chand din pehle, wo New
Haven aaya. Salar ko dekh kar Sikandar ke pait main girahen par gayi, magar usne
koi behas nahi ki. Usne bas Salar se kaha ke chhuttiyon ke liye ghar aajao. Salar ne
padhaai aur classes ke bahanay banaye, magar Sikandar ne uski baat ko nazarandaz
kiya aur uske liye flight ka seat book kar diya. Uski marzi ke khilaf, Salar ko wapas
Pakistan le aya.

------------------------------------

Raat ka ek baj raha tha jab wo Pakistan pahunche. Sikandar aur Tyeba apne kamre
mein chale gaye; wo apne kamre mein chala gaya. Ander jakar usne dekha ke sab
kuch waisa hi tha jaisa usne chhoda tha. Usne kapray badle, light band ki aur let
gaya. Usne flight ke dauran so liya tha, isliye ab usay neend nahi aa rahi thi. Shayad
time difference ka bhi asar tha.

"Lagta hai main dheere dheere neend ka mariz ban jaunga," usne andhere kamre
mein lete huay kaha. Kuch dair karwat badalne ke baad, wo baith gaya; phir wo khirki
ki taraf gaya aur parde hata diye. Chauray lawn ke us paar Hashim Mubeen ka ghar
tha. Itne saalon mein Salar ne kabhi us ghar par tawajju nahi di thi lekin ab wo
building ko dekh raha tha jo ke pehle manzil ki roshniyon se roshan thi. Yadon ka
silsila wapas a gaya—usne parde phir se band kar diye.

"Kya Waseem ke ghar walay Imama ko dhoondh paye?" usne agle din Nasira se
pucha. Usne shak bhari nazar se usay dekha.

"Nahi jee, uska koi pata nahi chala. Unho ne har jagah dekha lekin uska koi nishan
nahi mila. Abhi bhi wo tumhein hi shaq karte hain, tumhein pata hai? Salma Bibi
tumhein bad-dua deti hai."

Salar usay ghurta raha.

"Police ne sab ghar ke naukron se bhi poochh taachh ki, lekin maine kabhi kuch nahi
kaha. Unho ne mujhe aur meri beti ko nikal diya tha—lekin baad mein wapas bula
liya. Wo mujhse tumhari khabar lete rehte hain. Shayad isliye wapas rakha hai ke
main tumhare ghar ki baatein unhein bataoon. Lekin jee, main bahanay banati hoon
aur bach nikalti hoon." Nasira apni kahani batati gayi.

246
"Kya police abhi bhi usay dhoondh rahi hai?" Salar ne beech mein mudakhlat ki.

"Haan sir, abhi bhi talash kar rahe hain. Mujhe zyada pata nahi kyunki yeh baatein
naukron se chhupai jaati hain. Wo Imama Bibi ka zikar humare saamne nahi karte,
lekin kuch baatein sunne ko mil jaati hain. Salar Saab, kya aapko Imama Bibi ka kuch
pata nahi?"

"Mujhe kaise pata ho?" Usne apni nazar us par tikayi.

"Main bas poochh rahi thi—aise hi, kyunki aap uske dost thay... mujhe laga aapko
pata hoga. Wo papers jo aapne ek dafa mere zariye bheje thay—wo kis ke liye thay?"
Uska tajassus khatarnaak ho raha tha.

"Wo property papers thay, is ghar ke liye—maine uske naam transfer kiye thay."

Nasira ka munh khul gaya. Phir usne apne aap ko sambhala aur kaha, "Lekin sir, yeh
ghar to Sikandar Saab ka hai."

"Haan, lekin mujhe tab pata nahi tha. Kya tumne kisi ko bataya ke tumne wo papers
uske paas le jaye the?"

Nasira ne apne kaanon ko chhua. "Kabhi nahi, sir! Maine Sikandar Saab ko kuch nahi
bataya."

"Aur behtar yahi hai ke tum kuch na kaho—apna munh band rakho. Agar mere walid
ko pata chal gaya to wo tumhe nikal denge; tum unka ghussa janti ho. Ab jao," Salar
ne tez lehje mein kaha.

Nasira bina kuch kahe chali gayi.

----------------------------------

Aksar weekends pe, wo Margalla Hills mein hiking ke liye jata tha. Yeh weekend nahi
tha, lekin phir bhi uska mann hua. Hamisha ki tarah, usne gaari pahaadon ke neechay
park ki aur aik chhoti si bag apne kandhe par latkaye nikal gaya. Andhera hone se
pehle wapas gaari tak pohanchne ka time nikal kar wo wapas mud gaya tha—usay
do ghante lagtay, isliye wo aik aise raste par aagaya jo aksar log istemal karte thay.

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Abhi kuch hi qadam chala tha ke usne apne peechay kadmon ki aawaz suni. Palat kar
dekha to do ladke thay: wo us se kaafi door thay lekin tezi se chal rahe thay.

Usne wapas mur kar apne raaste par chalna shuru kiya. Un ladkon ki shakal dekh kar
koi shak nahi hota tha. Jeans aur T-shirts pehne wo kisi bhi aam insaan ki tarah lag
rahe thay, lekin jese hi wo chala usne mehsoos kiya ke koi uske bilkul qareeb hai.
Achanak usne palat kar dekha aur wo hiraan reh gaya—wo uske samne revolvers liye
khade thay.

"Hath upar karo, warna goli maar denge!" un mein se ek cheekha. Salar ne apne hath
upar kar diye. Ek ladka uske peechay gaya aur Salar ko ghaseet kar niche giraane ki
koshish ki. Salar ne apna santulan kho diya lekin girra nahi.

"Yahan chalo!" Salar ne baghair koi muqabla kiye dikhaye gaye rukh mein chalna
shuru kiya. Wo usay raste se door le jaana chahte thay takay koi wahan aane wala
unka samna na kar sake. Ladke usay jhaadiyon aur jangal ki taraf le gaye.

"Ghutno ke bal baitho!" ek ne sakhti se hukam diya. Salar ne unka hukum maana:
usay pata tha ke wo uska saamaan—cell phone, paisa—chheen lenge aur usay chhod
denge. Wo kuch aisa nahi karna chahta tha jo unhe usay nuqsan pohanchane par
majboor kare. Ek ladka uske peechay gaya aur uska bag uski peeth se utaar liya. Bag
mein camera, kuch rolls of film, battery cells, binoculars, first aid kit, pani, kuch
snacks aur uski wallet thi. Jo ladka bag le gaya tha, usne uske saamaan ko talash
kiya; phir wallet ka jaiza liya—kuch cash aur uska credit card tha. Phir usne tissues
aur first aid kit ka packet nikala.

"Ab utho!" ladke ne Salar ko hukam diya. Wo wahan khada tha, hath ab bhi upar
kiye hue.

Ladke uske peechay gaye aur uske Bermudas ke jebon ko talashne lage. Unho ne car
keys nikali.

"Achha! Iske paas gaari hai." Ab, Salar ko fikar hone lagi.

"Dekho, tum mera saamaan le sakte ho, lekin gaari chhod do." Pehli martaba, usne
un se baat ki.

"Kyoon? Gaari kyoon chhod doon? Kya tum mere cousin ho ke tumhare paas gaari
chhod doon?" ladka rough lehje mein bola.

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"Agar tum gaari le jane ki koshish karoge, to tumhe bohot mushkilein aayengi—
ismein har tarah ke locks hain."

"Yeh humara masla hai, tumhara nahi!" doosra ladka aage aaya aur Salar ke
sunglasses cheen liye.

"Apne joggers utaaro."

"Mere joggers—kis liye?" Salar ne hairani se usay dekha. Magar ladka jawab dene ke
bajaye, Salar ko zor se thappar maara. Salar jhatka khane ke bawajood sambhal gaya.

"Dubara mat poochho—sirf joggers utaar do." Salar ne usay ghin se dekha. Ladkon
ne apne revolvers uski taraf darpesh kiye. Jo ladka Salar ko maara tha usne doosre
gaal par bhi zor se thappar mara.

"Dubara ghuroge? Apne joggers…" usne baghair dekhe hukam diya. Salar dheere se
apne jootay utaar diye. Uske paas sirf moze reh gaye.

"Ab, apni shirt utaaro." Salar ne ehtijaj karna chaha lekin wo aur maar ke liye tayar
nahi tha. Agar wo musallah nahi hote, to Salar asaani se unka muqabla kar sakta tha
kyunki wo jismani tor par bada aur mazboot tha. Magar baghair hathyaar ke, wo be-
basar mehsoos kar raha tha. Usne apni shirt utaar kar unki taraf badhayi.

"Neeche phenko." Salar ne aisa hi kiya. Ladka apne pant ke jeb se kuch nikaalne
laga—yeh patla nylon ka dhaga lag raha tha. Salar ne foran unki niyat samajh li aur
bohot pareshan ho gaya. Suraj ghuroob hone ko tha aur jald hi andhera ho jata—wo
wahan se kaise niklega.

"Dekho—mujhe mat baandho. Tum mera bag aur gaari le lo—main kisi ko nahi
bataoonga," usne mudafai lehje mein kaha.

Bina kuch kahe, ladke ne mud kar Salar ke pait par mukka mara. Salar dard se dohra
gaya aur ek dabay huay cheekh nikal gayi.

"Koi mashwara nahi!" Ladka phir se Salar ko zor se ek taraf dhakela. Salar, shiddat se
dard mehsoos karte hue, andhon ki tarah hukam manta raha. Ladke ne Salar ko ek
darakht ke tne ke saath bitha kar, bohot maharat se uske kalay dhagay se uski kalay
peechay se baandhna shuru kiya. Doosra ladka kuch door khada ho kar pur sukoon
idhar udhar dekh raha tha magar uski revolver ke nishane par Salaar tha.
Uske haath achi tarah baandhne ke baad, ladka uske samne aaya aur Salar ke moze

249
utaar diye. Phir usne first aid kit se scissors nikal kar Salar ki shirt ke tukde kaatne
shuru kar diye. Bari maharat se usne Salar ke ankle bhi un tukdon se baandh diye.
Phir usne tissue box khola aur usay khali kar diya.

"Munh kholo." Salar ko pata tha ke wo kya karne wala tha. Usne zehni tor par us
ladke ko gaaliyaan de rahe tha, jo ek ek kar ke sab tissues uske munh mein bhar
raha tha. Phir, shirt ka bacha hua tukda Salar ke munh ke aas paas ghode ki lagam ki
tarah bandh kar usay darakht ke tne se baandh diya.

Doosra ladka ab aram se bag ko band kar raha tha. Chand minton baad, dono
wahan se gayab ho gaye. Jaise hi wo gaye, Salar ne apne aap ko kholne ki koshish
shuru kar di, lekin jaldi hi samajh gaya ke wo bohot badi mushkil mein phans gaya
tha. Ladke ne usay bohot maharat se baandha tha aur wo apne aap ko azaad nahi
kar pa raha tha. Na hi wo dhage ko dheela kar sakta tha.

Jitna wo koshish karta, utna hi dhaga uske gosht mein kat raha tha. Uski haalat
bohot kharab thi. Na wo madad ke liye pukar sakta tha aur na hi kisi aur tarah apni
taraf tawajju dilaa sakta tha.

Uske aas paas oonchi jhaadiyan thi aur andhera badh raha tha. Yeh aik mojza hota
agar koi usay dhund leta. Uske paas sirf ghutno tak bermuda shorts thi aur raat
thandi hoti ja rahi thi.

Ghar par, kisi ko pata nahi tha ke wo hiking pe gaya hai aur agar uski kami mehsoos
bhi hoti, to koi kaise usay is gehre jungle mein, andhere mein baandha hua dhoond
pata.

Aadha ghanta koshish karne ke baad, jab wo apne ankles ke ird gird ke strips ko
dheela aur khol paya, suraj poori tarah doob chuka tha. Agar chand na hota to wo
apne haath aur paon ko aur apne aas paas ki cheezon ko nahi dekh pata. Ab tak,
logon aur traffic ki awazain mukammal tor par khatam ho chuki thi. Uske ird gird sirf
keede makoron ki cheekh pukar thi. Usay apne gardan se kamar tak chheelan
mehsoos ho rahi thi kyunki wo darakht ke tne se bandha tha. Dhaga uske kalay
peechay darakht par kaat raha tha aur uske haath aur hilne ke qabil nahi rahe thay.
Usay apni kalaiyon mein zehrila dard mehsoos ho raha tha. Ab tak, tissues jo uske
munh mein bharay thay, gund ban chuke thay aur usne strip ko apne munh mein
hilana shuru kiya, lekin wo pukar nahi sakta tha, kyunki wo na to tissues ko nigal

250
sakta tha aur na hi unhe thook sakta tha. Itne zyada tissues thay ke wo unhe
chewing gum ki tarah chaba bhi nahi sakta tha.

Usne kaanpna shuru kar diya. Is haalat mein, wo zaroor subah tak mar chuka hota,
agar wo dar se ya kisi zehrile janwar ke kaatne se na mar jata. Uski jild pe chhote
chhote keede chal rahe thay jo bar bar usay kaat rahe thay. Wo apni nangi tangon se
keede hila sakta tha lekin apne baaqi jism se nahi. Usne socha, ke in chhote keedon
ke ilawa aur kaun kaun si makhlooqat se usay mukabla karna padega, aur agar yahan
bichhoo aur saanp hain...

Waqt guzarta gaya aur uski halat bigarti gayi. "Yeh mere saath kyun ho raha hai?
Maine kya ghalti ki hai?" Aur agar main mar jaoon... Koi meri laash bhi nahi dhundh
payega. Keede aur jungli janwar mujhe kha jayenge." Usne dukh bhari soch mein
dooba.

Uski haalat aur bhi kharab hoti gayi. Wo sun se numb hone laga. "Kya main isi tarah
mar jaoonga, yahan... is haalat mein... nanga... behisab... mere logon ko meri khabar
bhi nahi hogi... kya yeh hi meri taqdeer hai." Uska dil dhadakna chor gaya. Achanak,
usay maut ka itna zyada dar mehsoos hua ke usay saans lena mushkil ho gaya. Usay
aisa laga ke maut uske samne khadi uski saansein dheere dheere khatam hoti dekh
rahi hai.

Dard ko shikast dete hue usne ek baar phir apni kalaiyon ko azaad karne ki koshish
ki. Uske baazu dard se bhar gaye. Pandrah mint jhujhne ke baad, usne ruk gaya. Phir
usay ehsaas hua ke uske munh ke ird gird jo strip thi wo dheeli ho gayi thi aur wo
apne gardan ke hila kar usay nikal sakta tha, jo usne kiya. Agla qadam, usne tissues
thook diye.

Usne bohot gehri saansein li aur phir jitni zor se ho sakta tha, madad ke liye
cheekhne laga.

Wo jhunjhalaahat mein tha. Lagataar aadha ghanta cheekhne ke baad uski himmat
aur awaaz jawab de gaye. Uski saansein phool rahi thi, jaise usne kai mil daur lagayi
ho, lekin phir bhi kisi ne uski madad ke liye jawab nahi diya. Uski kalaiyon ke zakhm
naqabill-e-bardasht dard kar rahe thay aur ab keede bhi uske chehre aur gardan ko
kaat rahe thay. Usay samajh nahi aya ke achanak kya hua, lekin wo bachon ki tarah
zor zor se rone laga.

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Apni zindagi mein pehli martaba wo itni shiddat se ro raha tha. Shayad, pehle kabhi
usne itni be-bas aur majboor mehsoos nahi kiya tha, aur darakht ke tne se bandha,
usne mehsoos kiya ke wo marna nahi chahta. Wo maut ke saaye mein ghira hua
mehsoos kar raha tha, jaise New Haven mein mehsoos kiya tha. Usay yaad nahi ke
kitni dair tak wo is tarah hysteirically rota raha. Phir uski aankhon ke aansu sookhne
lage. Shayad wo itna thak gaya tha ke wo ro bhi nahi sakta tha. Thak kar chur, wo
darakht ke tne ke saath lag gaya aur apni aankhein band kar li. Uske kandhe aur
baazu itna dard kar rahe thay ke usay laga ke wo hamesha ke liye fail ho jayenge.

"Maine kabhi kisi ko aise dard nahi diya, lekin yeh mere saath kyun ho raha hai?"
Aansun phir uski aankhon se behne lage.

"Salar! Meri zindagi pehle hi mushkilaat se bhari hui hai, meri mushkilein aur mat
badhao; meri zindagi pehle hi mushkil hai aur har guzarne wale din ke saath aur bhi
mushkil hoti ja rahi hai. Kam az kam meri halat ko samajhne ki koshish karo aur meri
mushkilein aur mat badhao."

Darakht ke tne ke saath lag kar Salar ne apni aankhein kholi. Uska gala sukh raha
tha. Neeche bohot door, wo Islamabad ki roshniyan dekh sakta tha.

"Kya main tumhari mushkilein badhane ki koshish kar raha hoon? Main...? Meri pyari
Imama! Main tumhare masail se ghira hua hoon. Main unka khatma karne ki koshish
kar raha hoon. Socho, mere saath reh kar tumhari zindagi kitni achi aur mehfooz ho
sakti thi."

Salar ne apne honton ko kaata.

"Salar! Mujhe talaaq do," usne cheekh kar kaha tha.

"Jaan! Tum ja kar court se talaaq le lo, jaise tumne pehle hi kaha tha."

Ab wo door ki roshniyon ko khamoshi se dekh raha tha; wo apna aur kisi aur ka aks
sheesha mein pehchaan sakta tha. "Maine sirf mazaaq kiya tha Imama se," usne
budbudaaya.

"Maine... main usay dukh dena nahi chahta tha." Uske lafz usay khud be-maani lag
rahe thay. Khuda jaane wo kis se wazahat karne ki koshish kar raha tha. Boht dair tak
wo Islamabad ki roshniyon ko dekhta raha, phir uski aankhein dheeray dheeray band
hone lagi.

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"Main maanta hoon ke maine kuch galat kiya hai." Uski awaaz ek kanptay hue
sarghoshiyan thi. "Maine jaan bujh kar uske liye mushkilein paida ki. Maine usay
dhoka diya, lekin maine ghalti ki aur mujhe is par pachtawa hai. Mujhe pata hai ke
talaaq na de kar aur Jalal ke bare mein jhoot bol kar, usay bohot mushkilein sehni
pari hongi. Mujhe waqai sab kuch hone par afsos hai, lekin iske ilawa maine kisi aur
ko dukh nahi diya." Aur wo phir se rone laga.

"Khuda... agar main is mushkil se nikal gaya, to main Imama ko talaaq dunga, aur
usay kabhi tang nahi karunga. Main usay Jalal ke bare mein bhi sach bata dunga.
Khuda, bas mujhe rehaai de do." Ab wo be-qaabu hokar rone laga. Pehli martaba,
usay ahsaas hua ke Imama ko kaisa mehsoos hota hoga jab usne talaaq dene se
inkaar kiya tha. Shayad, usay bhi aise hi haath bandhe huay lagte thay, jaise ab usay
lag raha tha. Yahan baith kar, pehli martaba, usay Imama ki majboori, dar aur dard ka
ehsaas hua. Usne Jalal Ansar ki shaadi ke bare mein jhoot bola tha aur ab tak usay
uske chehre par toti hui umeed ka ehsaas tha. Usay uski pareshani mein maza aata
tha. Usne lagbhag Islamabad se Lahore tak raat bhar roti hui Imama ko dekha tha
aur yeh usay hansi dilata tha.

Ab wo Imama ki zehni aur jazbati haalat ko samajh sakta tha. Us raat andhere mein
gaadi chalate huay, wo na aage dekh paayi hogi na peeche. Wo sirf Jalal Ansar ke
ghar ko apna panahgah samajhti thi, lekin Salar ne usay wahan jaane nahi diya. Us
raat ke andhere mein, wo Imama ke dil ka dar aur badshaguni mehsoos kar sakta tha
jo uske dil ko chhup rahi thi.

"Mujhe afsos hai, waqai, mujhe afsos hai, lekin... lekin main kya kar sakta hoon...
agar... agar mujhe usay phir se dekhne ka mauqa mila, to main us se maafi
mangunga, main jitna ho sakega uski madad karunga—lekin ab... is waqt main kuch
nahi kar sakta. Agar... agar maine kabhi... kabhi koi acha kaam kiya ho, Khuda, mujhe
is musibat se nikaal do. Oh Khuda! Please... please... please."

Aansoon se bhari aankhon ke saath, usne apni zindagi ke achhe kaamon ko yaad
karne ki koshish ki. Pehli martaba, usay yaad aya ke ab tak usne apni zindagi mein
koi acha kaam nahi kiya. Koi bhi acha kaam jo wo Khuda ke saamne rakh sakta aur
badle mein apni rehaai ki dua kar sakta. Ek naye dar ne usay ghair liya. Usne kabhi
sadaqah nahi di thi, kyunki wo is par yakeen nahi rakhta tha. Wo hotels aur
restaurants mein tip zaroor deta tha, lekin kabhi kisi faqeer ko khairaat nahi di.

253
School ya college mein, jab mukhtalif maqsadon ke liye funds ikatthe kiye jaate thay,
wo na to khud donate karta tha aur na hi ikattha karta tha.

"Main sadaqah pe yaqeen nahi rakhta," wo thandey lehje mein kehta. "Mere paas
extra paisa nahi hai jo main udao." Usne New Haven mein bhi yeh rawaiya barqarar
rakha. Yeh kanjoosi sirf sadaqah tak mehdood nahi thi; wo kisi ki madad par bhi
yakeen nahi rakhta tha. Usay koi aisa waqia yaad nahi aya jahan usne kisi ki madad ki
ho. Usne sirf Imama ki madad ki thi, lekin jo kuch usne uske saath kiya uske baad wo
ise acha kaam nahi keh sakta tha. Usne regularly namaz bhi nahi padhi.

Shayad, bachpan mein, wo chand martaba Eid ki namaz par Sikandar ke saath gaya
ho, lekin wo bhi ziyada tar rasam thi ibadat nahi. Usne woh raat yaad ki New Haven
mein jab wo isha ki namaz se beech mein bhaag gaya tha, aur usne woh $50 bhi
yaad kiye jo usne hooker ko diye thay.
Shayad yeh ek hi waqia tha jab usne kisi ke liye reham mehsoos kiya tha. Usne koi
acha kaam yaad karne ki bohot koshish ki, lekin bekaar. Phir usay apne bure kaam
yaad aaye. Usne kya nahi kiya tha? Uske aansu aur duaain foran ruk gayin. Agar wo
us haalat mein mar jata, to uske saath na insafi nahi hoti. Agar 22 saal ki umar mein,
150+ IQ level, photographic memory ke sath, aur kai ghanton tak sochne ke baad
bhi koi ek acha kaam yaad nahi aata, to wo kaise Khuda se apni mushkilat se nikalne
ki umeed kar sakta tha?

"Aage kaise aata hai ecstasy?" usne apne nojawani mein cocaine lete hue apne dost
se pucha tha, jo bhi ise le raha tha.

"Zyada ecstasy," usne kaha tha. Phir, thoda aur lete hue, usne Salar ki taraf dekha.

"Ecstasy ka koi ant nahi hota. Isse pehle pleasure aata hai aur iske baad aur zyada
ecstasy." Wo apne nasha mein tha, lekin Salar mutmain nahi tha.

"Nahi, iska ant hota hai. Jab yeh khatam ho jata hai to kya hota hai? Jab yeh waqai
khatam ho jata hai?"

Uska dost usay ajeeb nazar se dekh raha tha. "Tumhe khud pata hai, hai na? Tum
isse guzarte rehte ho."

Salar jawab dene ke bajaye phir se cocaine lene laga.

Dhaga jo uske kalaiyon ke gosht ko kaat raha tha, ab bol raha tha: "Dard."

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"Dard ke baad kya aata hai?" usne Imama Hashim se chidhate hue us raat pucha tha.

"Kuch nahi."

Ek rassi jaisi cheez uske jism par gir gayi. Yeh uske sir, chehre, gardan, seenay, pait
par chalti hui neeche utar gayi aur jaldi se phisal gayi. Salar ne apni cheekh dabayi
jab uska jism kaanp gaya. Yeh ek saanp tha jo uske upar se bina kaate guzar gaya
tha. Uska jism paseene se bheeg gaya tha aur wo bukhar-zada mareez ki tarah kaanp
raha tha.

"Kuch nahi," awaz saaf thi.

"Aur kuch nahi ke baad kya aata hai?"

Jawab ek tanasur bhari, nafrat se bharpoor muskurahat thi. "Jahannum."

Usne bhi yahi baat kahi thi. Wo wahan, aath ghante se bandha hua tha, us veeran,
andheri aur khaufnaak tanhaayi mein. Wo ek ghante tak madad ke liye chilla raha tha
aur uska gala baith gaya tha, aur wo ek aur lafz bhi nahi bol sakta tha.

Wo "Kuch nahi" aur "Jahannum" ke beech latka hua tha. Shayad, wo "Kuch nahi"
mein ghusne wala tha aur "Jahannum" mein pohanchne wala tha.

"Kya tumhe dar nahi lagta yeh poochhne se ke Jahannum ke baad kya aata hai?
Jahannum ke baad kya ho sakta hai? Jab ek shakhs mar jata hai—saza aur hukm
suna kar—kya bacha rehta hai usme jo tum itni shiddat se jaan'na chahte ho?"

Salar ne ghabrahat bhari nazar se apne ird gird dekha: yeh jagah kya thi? Uska qabr
ya Jahannum ya is zindagi mein uska ek jhalak... bhookh, pyaas, bilkul be-bas, rakte
hue keede jo usay kaat rahe thay, lagbhag mazoor haath aur paon, uske peeth aur
kalaiyon ke zakhm jo waqt ke sath sath badh rahe thay... dar ya dahshat thi lekin
usne paagalon ki tarah cheekhna shuru kar diya tha. Uski cheekhen hawaa ko cheer
rahi thi—hysteria aur khauf se bhari cheekhen, be-maqsad nazar aati thi. Usne kabhi
apni zindagi mein aisa dar mehsoos nahi kiya tha. Kabhi nahi. Usne apne ird gird
demons aur roohon ko dekhna shuru kar diya.

Usay laga ke uske dimag ki koi ragt phatne wali hai ya wo ek nervous breakdown se
guzarne wala hai. Phir uski cheekhen dheere dheere kam ho gayi aur uska gala bilkul
band ho gaya. Usne ajeeb mufassil awazein suni: usay yakeen tha ke wo mar raha
tha. Uska dil dhadakna band ho raha tha ya wo apni mental balance kho raha tha.

255
Aur achanak us waqt, uske kalaiyon ko darakht ke peechay bandhne wala dhaga
dheela pad gaya. Uske weak senses jaise wapas zinda ho gaye.

Hont kaat kar, usne apne haath hilaaye. Dhaga aur dheela hone laga. Shayad, darakht
ke tne ke sath constant friction ke wajah se ye toot gaya tha. Usne apne haath aur
hilaaye aur usay ehsaas hua ke wo darakht se azaad ho gaya tha.

Yaqeen nahi aaya, usne apne baazu seedhe kiye; unmein dard ki lehrain chali gayi.

"Kya, kya main bach gaya hoon?" usne hairani se andhere mein apne baazu aur
haathon ke outlines ko dekha. "Kyoon? Kis liye?"

Uska dimag numb ho raha tha. Usne apne gale se woh kapde ka tukda nikaala jo
pehle uske munh par bandha gaya tha. Harakaton se wo karah uthta, kyunke uske
baazu bohot bura dard kar rahe thay, itna zyada ke usay laga ke wo dobara unka
istemal nahi kar payega. Uski tangon bhi numb ho rahi thi. Usne uthne ki koshish ki,
lekin zameen par gir gaya. Ek karah uske munh se nikli. Usne phir se haathon aur
ghutnon ke madad se uthne ki koshish ki aur is dafa wo kamyaab ho gaya.

Dono ladke uske joggers aur uski ghadi bhi le gaye thay. Uske moze kahin aas paas
pare thay. Wo andhere mein unhe mehsoos kar sakta tha, lekin uske liye uske
haathon aur baazu ka istemal zaroori hota. Wo iske laayak nahi tha, na jismani tor
par aur na zehni tor par.

Wo bas kisi bhi qeemat par wahan se nikalna chahta tha: andhere mein ladkhadaate
hue, wo jhaadiyon ke beech se guzra, kharoche aur chotain lagate hue, jab tak wo us
raste tak na pohanch gaya jahan un ladkon ne usay roka tha. Wo nange paon chala.
Kankad aur patthar uske paon ko chubh rahe thay, lekin yeh us jismani aur zehni
azmaish ke muqable mein kuch bhi nahi tha jo usne guzari thi. Usay nahi pata ke
kitna waqt laga usay chalne mein ya kaise wo chala.

Usay sirf yeh pata tha ke wo rasta bhar zor zor se rota raha.

Usne Islamabad ki raahon ki roshniyon mein apni haalat dekhne ki parwaah nahi ki.
Na wo ruka, na hi madad maangi. Rota, wo footpath par ladkhadata raha.

Ek police patrol car ne usay pehli martaba dekha aur uske kareeb ruk gayi.
Constables ne usay roka aur uski taraf aaye. Pehli martaba, wo apne hosh mein aaya
lekin wo apne aansu rok nahi saka. Unho ne usse sawal kiya lekin wo kya keh sakta
tha? Agle pandrah minute mein wo ek hospital mein tha jahan usay pehli madad di

256
gayi. Unho ne uska ghar ka address poocha, lekin uska gala baitha hua tha. Wo kuch
bhi kehne ke qabil nahi tha. Sooje huay haath se, usne apna ghar ka phone number
aur address likha.

------------------------------------------

Bohat arsay baad, us nay us weekend pe raat ka khana khanay kay liye aik restaurant
gaya. Waiter nay uska order lia, aur phir Salar ne khirki kay bahar sadak ko dekhtay
huay waqt guzarna shuru kar diya. French windows ke paas beth kar, usay aisa
mehsoos ho raha tha ke jaise wo asal main footpath par betha ho.

Uska dhyan ek aurat ke roney ki awaz par gaya. Palat kar dekha, to uske peechay
wali mez par aik larki aur larka baithe thay. Larki dheere dheere ro rahi thi aur tissue
se apni aankhein ponch rahi thi. Larka uska haath thapthapa kar shayad usay tasalli
de raha tha. Restaurant itna chhota aur mez itnay nazdeek thay ke wo unki guftagu
sun sakta tha, magar yeh uska irada nahi tha aur usnay apna dhyan hata liya. Usay
aik kashti si mehsoos hui: wo aise rawaiye ko pasand nahi karta tha. Wo yahan aik
pur sukoon shaam guzarne aaya tha aur yeh waqiya usay bura mehsoos karne laga.

Uske peechay baitha joda Russian tha aur wo apni zubaan main baat kar rahe thay.
Salar ne phir se khirki ke bahar dekhna shuru kiya magar ek kaan unke muted
aansuon aur khamosh guftagu ki taraf lag gaya. Usne phir se palat kar unki taraf
dekha, aur is dafa larki ki nazar us par pari. Yeh chand lamhe seemabi lagay—larki ki
suji hui aankhon aur udas chehre ne usay dusri chehre ki yaad dila di—Imama
Hashim ki.

Waiter uska order laya aur uske samne khana rakha. Salar ne pani ke chand ghont
piye aur yadon ko mitane ki koshish ki. Usne chand lambi saansein li aur waiter ne
usay curious taur par dekha—Salar khirki ke bahar ka manzar dekhne main masroof
tha.

"Meri koshish hai ke main yeh acha din enjoy karun, acha khana khau. Phir cinema
jane ka irada hai. Mujhe us larki ke bare main nahi sochna chahiye—wo pagal thi,
bakwas karti thi aur mujhe us par koi pachtawa nahi hona chahiye. Mujhe kaise pata

257
ke wo kahan gayi? Sab uska apna kiya tha. Main bas uske saath khel raha tha—agar
usne mujhse raabta kiya hota, to main usay talak de deta."

Beikhudi main, uska pachtawa uske amal ka difa karte huay samne aaya. Peche baithi
larki ke aansu uske zehan main teer ban kar chubh rahe thay.

"Mujhe apni mez badalni hai," usne waiter se kafi tezi se kaha.

"Kyoon, sir?" Waiter ne hairan ho kar kaha.

"Ya phir unki mez badal do," Salar ne jo k couple ki taraf ishara kiya. Yaqeen nahi tha
ke waiter ne Salar ka masla samjha ya nahi, magar khair, usne Salar ko ek kone wali
mez par bitha diya.

Salar ne sukoon mehsoos kiya ke ab wo uski siskian nahi sun raha tha, magar ab wo
uske samne thi. Usne phir se usay dekha jab usne pehla niwala uthaya. Achanak, sab
kuch be maza lagne laga, be zayka. Yaqeenan, yeh uska zehni haal tha na ke khana—
restaurant apni cuisine ke liye mashhoor tha.

"Log Allah ka shukar ada nahi karte ke unko jo ne'matain milti hain. Khana chakhne
ki salahiat, mazeed acha khana khane ka ehsaas bhi aik barkat hai—ke main acha
khana chakh sakta hoon aur usay enjoy kar sakta hoon. Bohat se log is se mehroom
hain."

Uski awaz uske zehan main goonj rahi thi aur yeh sabar ka had tha. Jaise aik aatish-
fishan, wo phat pada. Chammach zor se plate par maar kar, wo apni kursi se uth
khada hua aur cheekh kar bola.

"Chup raho! Bas chup raho!" restaurant main ek khamoshi cha gayi.

"Kamini! Haramzadi! Bas chup raho!" uska chehra surkh ho gaya. "Tum mere zehan
se kyoon nahi nikalti?"

Usne phir se cheekh kar kaha, apni konpain pakad kar. "Main tumhe maar daloon ga
agar tum dobara samne ayi!" usne phir cheekh kar kaha.

Phir usne pani ka glass piya aur jagah ko wapas focus main layi—restaurant, wahan
ke log. Usne dekha ke waiter uski taraf fikar mand hotay huay aaraha tha.

"Kya aap theek hain, sir?"

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Bina kuch kahe, Salar ne apni wallet nikali, kuch dollar bills mez par rakhe aur
restaurant se chala gaya.

Yeh Imama nahi thi—yeh aik bura saya tha jo uska peecha karta tha jahan bhi wo
jata. Ya to uska chehra hota ya uski awaz aur agar yeh na hotay to uska pachtawa
hota. Jab wo usay bhoolne ki koshish karta to kuch aur samne ajata. Kabhi wo itna
volatile aur pareeshan ho jata ke agar wo samne ajati, to wo usay gala ghot kar ya
goli mar kar khatam kar deta. Usay uska sab kuch se nafrat thi. Wo chand ghantay jo
usne usay rat bhar drive karte guzaray thay, uske poore zindagi ko dhundhla diya
tha.

-------------------------------------

"Par tum kyun aa rahe ho?" Salar ne apne bade bhai se baat karte hue chirchira ho
gaya, jo kuch din baad New Haven aane ka bata raha tha. Agar Salar ki zindagi aik
routine mein chal rahi hoti, to wo is khabar ka khair maqdam karta. Lekin wo buray
waqt se guzar raha tha aur Kamran ka aana usay parishan kar raha tha. Wo apni
chirchiraahat chupaa nahi saka.

"Kya matlab kyun aa raha hoon? Tumse milne aa raha hoon, aur kya!" Kamran Salar
ke lehje se thora hairan tha. "Aur Papa ne bhi kaha tha ke tumse miloon."

Salar ne daanto ko bhinchte hue uski baat suni.

"Mujhe airport se lene ana. Flight details aik din pehle de doon ga." Kuch mamooli
guftagu ke baad unki call khatam hui.

Chaar din baad, Salar ne airport par Kamran ko receive kiya. Kamran usay dekh kar
hairan reh gaya.

"Kya tum bemar rahe ho?" Kamran ne pucha.

"Nahi—main theek hoon." Salar ne muskurane ki koshish ki.

"Yeh tumhe dekh kar nahi lagta." Kamran ki fikar barh gayi. Salar se baat karte hue
wo aankhon main aankhein dalta tha. Ab wo nazar chura raha tha. Kamran ne gaari
chalate hue usay observe kiya; pehle wo bohat rash driver tha, itna ke uske saath

259
baitna apni jaan jokhon main dalne ke barabar tha, lekin ab wo bohat ehtiyaat se
gaari chala raha tha.

Kamran ne socha yeh uske bhai ki aik achi tabdeeli thi; lekin yehi sirf aik achi
tabdeeli thi—baaki tabdeeliyan jo Kamran ne dekhi wo usay pareshaan kar rahi thi.

"Padhaayi kaisi chal rahi hai?"

"Theek chal rahi hai."

Poore safar main, Kamran ko Salar se isi tarah ke jawab milte rahe. Jab wo uske
apartment pahunche, Kamran dekh kar dar gaya.

"Yeh tumhara apartment hai, Salar? Mera Khuda!"

Salar bohat munazzam rehta tha, sab kuch apni jagah par rakhta tha magar yeh
tarteeb kahin nazar nahi aa rahi thi. Har jagah afra tafri thi—uske kapray aur jootay
idhar udhar bikharay hue thay; kitabein, akhbar aur magazines chhitti thi; kitchen
ghaleez thi aur bathroom aur bhi bura. Kamran ne apartment ka jaiza liya, usay dekh
kar shock lag gaya.

"Kitne arsay se tumne yeh jagah saaf nahi ki?"

"Abhi kar leta hoon," Salar ne thanday lehje mein jawab diya.

"Tum aise nahi rehte thay—ab kya ho gaya?"

Kamran ko sabse zyada fikar ho rahi thi. Uski nazar ek ashtray par pari jo cigarette ke
butts se bhar gaya tha. Usne usay uthaya aur uska saans liya. Salar ne apne bhai ko
teekhi nazar se dekha magar kuch kaha nahi. Kamran ne nafrat se ashtray wapas
rakha aur uski taraf mud gaya.

"Salar, is dafa tum kya kar rahe ho? Sach batau—masla kya hai? Kya ho raha hai?
Tum drugs le rahe ho?"

"Nahi, main kuch nahi le raha." Uske jawab ne Kamran ko ghusse mein daal diya,
usne Salar ke kandho ko pakda aur usay bathroom ke sheesha ke samne le gaya.

"Apne aap ko dekho—tum nashay ke adhi lag rahe ho aur usi tarah behave kar rahe
ho. Apni aankhein uthao, Salar, apna chehra dekho!"

Kamran uski gardan ko kheench raha tha. Baghair apne aks ko dekhe, Salar ko pata
tha ke wo kaisa lag raha hoga. Kya dekha ja sakta tha siwaye uske aankhon ke

260
neeche kali halke aur chehre par ugai hui daadhi ke. Yeh tasveer poori hoti thi uske
chehre par daagh aur pimples aur uske sookhe honth jo ke be inteha coffee aur
cigarettes ka natija thay. Usne shaving band kar di thi apne acne se bhari hui skin ki
wajah se.

Pareeshan hokar usne Kamran ki pakar se apne aap ko azad kiya aur bina sheesha
dekhe wahan se nikal gaya.

"Yeh bilkul ghinona lag raha hai, baddua laga hua!" Kamran aksar 'cursed' ka lafz use
karta tha, lekin Salar ne aaj se pehle isay itna mehsoos nahi kiya tha. Wo ghusse se
bhar gaya.

"Han—ghinona aur baddua laga: to kya? Jab main keh raha hoon ke main drugs nahi
le raha, to tumhe mujh par yaqeen karna chahiye."

"Yaqeen karoon? Huh!" Kamran ke lehje se tanasur tapak raha tha. Daanton ko
bhinch kar ghusse se, Salar bagair kuch kahe kamra saaf karne laga.

"Kya tum university ke classes attend kar rahe ho?" Salar ko ek warning bell sunai di.

"Kar raha hoon."

Kamran mutmain nahi hua.

"Mere saath hospital chalo; main chahta hoon ke tumhara poora check-up ho."

"Agar yeh tumhare aane ka maqsad hai, to behtar hai tum wapas chalay jao. Main
koi kindergarten ka bacha nahi hoon—main apna khayal rakh sakta hoon."

Kamran ne koi jawab nahi diya. Wo Salar ke saath cheezein theek karne laga. Salar
ne sakoon ka saans liya; usne socha ke yeh bahas khatam ho gayi lekin wo ghalat
tha. Kamran ne New Haven mein apne stay ko ek hafta extend kar diya. Is dauran,
Salar ne classes regularly attend ki. Kamran doosri taraf, Salar ke doston aur uske
professors se mila. Usne Salar ke doston se uske semester mein fail hone ka suna—
yeh Kamran ke liye aik shock tha.

Kuch bhi expect kiya ja sakta tha Salar se lekin itna bura fail hona, jab tak wo lately
academic records tod raha tha aur university top kar raha tha.

Is dafa, Kamran ne Salar se kuch discuss nahi kiya. Usne Pakistan mein apne walid ko
phone kiya aur situation ka brief diya. Aik martaba phir, Sikandar Usman ke pairon
tale zameen khisak gayi—Salar apna purana record barkarar rakha hua tha. Har do

261
saal baad, wo apne walid ko naye problems ka silsila deta. Hashim Mubeen aur
Imama ka mamla bhi itna hi purana tha.

"Abhi usse is bare main baat na karo," Kamran ne mashwara diya. "University
chhuttiyon ke liye band hone wali hai, to usay kuch arsa Pakistan bulalo. Phir
Mummy ko uske saath bhejo aur yahan rahe jab tak wo apni padhaai mukammal
kare."

Sikandar ne Kamran ka mashwara maana. Chhuttiyon ke chand din pehle, wo New

Haven aaya. Salar ko dekh kar Sikandar ke pait main girahen par gayi, magar usne
koi behas nahi ki. Usne bas Salar se kaha ke chhuttiyon ke liye ghar aajao. Salar ne
padhaai aur classes ke bahanay banaye, magar Sikandar ne uski baat ko nazarandaz
kiya aur uske liye flight ka seat book kar diya. Uski marzi ke khilaf, Salar ko wapas
Pakistan le aya.

------------------------------------

Raat ka ek baj raha tha jab wo Pakistan pahunche. Sikandar aur Tyeba apne kamre
mein chale gaye; wo apne kamre mein chala gaya. Ander jakar usne dekha ke sab
kuch waisa hi tha jaisa usne chhoda tha. Usne kapray badle, light band ki aur let
gaya. Usne flight ke dauran so liya tha, isliye ab usay neend nahi aa rahi thi. Shayad
time difference ka bhi asar tha.

"Lagta hai main dheere dheere neend ka mariz ban jaunga," usne andhere kamre
mein lete huay kaha. Kuch dair karwat badalne ke baad, wo baith gaya; phir wo khirki
ki taraf gaya aur parde hata diye. Chauray lawn ke us paar Hashim Mubeen ka ghar
tha. Itne saalon mein Salar ne kabhi us ghar par tawajju nahi di thi lekin ab wo
building ko dekh raha tha jo ke pehle manzil ki roshniyon se roshan thi. Yadon ka
silsila wapas a gaya—usne parde phir se band kar diye.

"Kya Waseem ke ghar walay Imama ko dhoondh paye?" usne agle din Nasira se
pucha. Usne shak bhari nazar se usay dekha.

"Nahi jee, uska koi pata nahi chala. Unho ne har jagah dekha lekin uska koi nishan
nahi mila. Abhi bhi wo tumhein hi shaq karte hain, tumhein pata hai? Salma Bibi
tumhein bad-dua deti hai."

262
Salar usay ghurta raha.

"Police ne sab ghar ke naukron se bhi poochh taachh ki, lekin maine kabhi kuch nahi
kaha. Unho ne mujhe aur meri beti ko nikal diya tha—lekin baad mein wapas bula
liya. Wo mujhse tumhari khabar lete rehte hain. Shayad isliye wapas rakha hai ke
main tumhare ghar ki baatein unhein bataoon. Lekin jee, main bahanay banati hoon
aur bach nikalti hoon." Nasira apni kahani batati gayi.

"Kya police abhi bhi usay dhoondh rahi hai?" Salar ne beech mein mudakhlat ki.

"Haan sir, abhi bhi talash kar rahe hain. Mujhe zyada pata nahi kyunki yeh baatein
naukron se chhupai jaati hain. Wo Imama Bibi ka zikar humare saamne nahi karte,
lekin kuch baatein sunne ko mil jaati hain. Salar Saab, kya aapko Imama Bibi ka kuch
pata nahi?"

"Mujhe kaise pata ho?" Usne apni nazar us par tikayi.

"Main bas poochh rahi thi—aise hi, kyunki aap uske dost thay... mujhe laga aapko
pata hoga. Wo papers jo aapne ek dafa mere zariye bheje thay—wo kis ke liye thay?"
Uska tajassus khatarnaak ho raha tha.

"Wo property papers thay, is ghar ke liye—maine uske naam transfer kiye thay."

Nasira ka munh khul gaya. Phir usne apne aap ko sambhala aur kaha, "Lekin sir, yeh
ghar to Sikandar Saab ka hai."

"Haan, lekin mujhe tab pata nahi tha. Kya tumne kisi ko bataya ke tumne wo papers
uske paas le jaye the?"

Nasira ne apne kaanon ko chhua. "Kabhi nahi, sir! Maine Sikandar Saab ko kuch nahi
bataya."

"Aur behtar yahi hai ke tum kuch na kaho—apna munh band rakho. Agar mere walid
ko pata chal gaya to wo tumhe nikal denge; tum unka ghussa janti ho. Ab jao," Salar
ne tez lehje mein kaha.

Nasira bina kuch kahe chali gayi.

----------------------------------

263
Aksar weekends pe, wo Margalla Hills mein hiking ke liye jata tha. Yeh weekend nahi
tha, lekin phir bhi uska mann hua. Hamisha ki tarah, usne gaari pahaadon ke neechay
park ki aur aik chhoti si bag apne kandhe par latkaye nikal gaya. Andhera hone se
pehle wapas gaari tak pohanchne ka time nikal kar wo wapas mud gaya tha—usay
do ghante lagtay, isliye wo aik aise raste par aagaya jo aksar log istemal karte thay.
Abhi kuch hi qadam chala tha ke usne apne peechay kadmon ki aawaz suni. Palat kar
dekha to do ladke thay: wo us se kaafi door thay lekin tezi se chal rahe thay.

Usne wapas mur kar apne raaste par chalna shuru kiya. Un ladkon ki shakal dekh kar
koi shak nahi hota tha. Jeans aur T-shirts pehne wo kisi bhi aam insaan ki tarah lag
rahe thay, lekin jese hi wo chala usne mehsoos kiya ke koi uske bilkul qareeb hai.
Achanak usne palat kar dekha aur wo hiraan reh gaya—wo uske samne revolvers liye
khade thay.

"Hath upar karo, warna goli maar denge!" un mein se ek cheekha. Salar ne apne hath
upar kar diye. Ek ladka uske peechay gaya aur Salar ko ghaseet kar niche giraane ki
koshish ki. Salar ne apna santulan kho diya lekin girra nahi.

"Yahan chalo!" Salar ne baghair koi muqabla kiye dikhaye gaye rukh mein chalna
shuru kiya. Wo usay raste se door le jaana chahte thay takay koi wahan aane wala
unka samna na kar sake. Ladke usay jhaadiyon aur jangal ki taraf le gaye.

"Ghutno ke bal baitho!" ek ne sakhti se hukam diya. Salar ne unka hukum maana:
usay pata tha ke wo uska saamaan—cell phone, paisa—chheen lenge aur usay chhod
denge. Wo kuch aisa nahi karna chahta tha jo unhe usay nuqsan pohanchane par
majboor kare. Ek ladka uske peechay gaya aur uska bag uski peeth se utaar liya. Bag
mein camera, kuch rolls of film, battery cells, binoculars, first aid kit, pani, kuch
snacks aur uski wallet thi. Jo ladka bag le gaya tha, usne uske saamaan ko talash
kiya; phir wallet ka jaiza liya—kuch cash aur uska credit card tha. Phir usne tissues
aur first aid kit ka packet nikala.

"Ab utho!" ladke ne Salar ko hukam diya. Wo wahan khada tha, hath ab bhi upar
kiye hue.

Ladke uske peechay gaye aur uske Bermudas ke jebon ko talashne lage. Unho ne car
keys nikali.

"Achha! Iske paas gaari hai." Ab, Salar ko fikar hone lagi.

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"Dekho, tum mera saamaan le sakte ho, lekin gaari chhod do." Pehli martaba, usne
un se baat ki.

"Kyoon? Gaari kyoon chhod doon? Kya tum mere cousin ho ke tumhare paas gaari
chhod doon?" ladka rough lehje mein bola.

"Agar tum gaari le jane ki koshish karoge, to tumhe bohot mushkilein aayengi—
ismein har tarah ke locks hain."

"Yeh humara masla hai, tumhara nahi!" doosra ladka aage aaya aur Salar ke
sunglasses cheen liye.

"Apne joggers utaaro."

"Mere joggers—kis liye?" Salar ne hairani se usay dekha. Magar ladka jawab dene ke
bajaye, Salar ko zor se thappar maara. Salar jhatka khane ke bawajood sambhal gaya.

"Dubara mat poochho—sirf joggers utaar do." Salar ne usay ghin se dekha. Ladkon
ne apne revolvers uski taraf darpesh kiye. Jo ladka Salar ko maara tha usne doosre
gaal par bhi zor se thappar mara.

"Dubara ghuroge? Apne joggers…" usne baghair dekhe hukam diya. Salar dheere se
apne jootay utaar diye. Uske paas sirf moze reh gaye.

"Ab, apni shirt utaaro." Salar ne ehtijaj karna chaha lekin wo aur maar ke liye tayar
nahi tha. Agar wo musallah nahi hote, to Salar asaani se unka muqabla kar sakta tha
kyunki wo jismani tor par bada aur mazboot tha. Magar baghair hathyaar ke, wo be-
basar mehsoos kar raha tha. Usne apni shirt utaar kar unki taraf badhayi.

"Neeche phenko." Salar ne aisa hi kiya. Ladka apne pant ke jeb se kuch nikaalne
laga—yeh patla nylon ka dhaga lag raha tha. Salar ne foran unki niyat samajh li aur
bohot pareshan ho gaya. Suraj ghuroob hone ko tha aur jald hi andhera ho jata—wo
wahan se kaise niklega.

"Dekho—mujhe mat baandho. Tum mera bag aur gaari le lo—main kisi ko nahi
bataoonga," usne mudafai lehje mein kaha.

Bina kuch kahe, ladke ne mud kar Salar ke pait par mukka mara. Salar dard se dohra
gaya aur ek dabay huay cheekh nikal gayi.

"Koi mashwara nahi!" Ladka phir se Salar ko zor se ek taraf dhakela. Salar, shiddat se
dard mehsoos karte hue, andhon ki tarah hukam manta raha. Ladke ne Salar ko ek

265
darakht ke tne ke saath bitha kar, bohot maharat se uske kalay dhagay se uski kalay
peechay se baandhna shuru kiya. Doosra ladka kuch door khada ho kar pur sukoon
idhar udhar dekh raha tha magar uski revolver ke nishane par Salaar tha.
Uske haath achi tarah baandhne ke baad, ladka uske samne aaya aur Salar ke moze
utaar diye. Phir usne first aid kit se scissors nikal kar Salar ki shirt ke tukde kaatne
shuru kar diye. Bari maharat se usne Salar ke ankle bhi un tukdon se baandh diye.
Phir usne tissue box khola aur usay khali kar diya.

"Munh kholo." Salar ko pata tha ke wo kya karne wala tha. Usne zehni tor par us
ladke ko gaaliyaan de rahe tha, jo ek ek kar ke sab tissues uske munh mein bhar
raha tha. Phir, shirt ka bacha hua tukda Salar ke munh ke aas paas ghode ki lagam ki
tarah bandh kar usay darakht ke tne se baandh diya.

Doosra ladka ab aram se bag ko band kar raha tha. Chand minton baad, dono
wahan se gayab ho gaye. Jaise hi wo gaye, Salar ne apne aap ko kholne ki koshish
shuru kar di, lekin jaldi hi samajh gaya ke wo bohot badi mushkil mein phans gaya
tha. Ladke ne usay bohot maharat se baandha tha aur wo apne aap ko azaad nahi
kar pa raha tha. Na hi wo dhage ko dheela kar sakta tha.

Jitna wo koshish karta, utna hi dhaga uske gosht mein kat raha tha. Uski haalat
bohot kharab thi. Na wo madad ke liye pukar sakta tha aur na hi kisi aur tarah apni
taraf tawajju dilaa sakta tha.

Uske aas paas oonchi jhaadiyan thi aur andhera badh raha tha. Yeh aik mojza hota
agar koi usay dhund leta. Uske paas sirf ghutno tak bermuda shorts thi aur raat
thandi hoti ja rahi thi.

Ghar par, kisi ko pata nahi tha ke wo hiking pe gaya hai aur agar uski kami mehsoos
bhi hoti, to koi kaise usay is gehre jungle mein, andhere mein baandha hua dhoond
pata.

Aadha ghanta koshish karne ke baad, jab wo apne ankles ke ird gird ke strips ko
dheela aur khol paya, suraj poori tarah doob chuka tha. Agar chand na hota to wo
apne haath aur paon ko aur apne aas paas ki cheezon ko nahi dekh pata. Ab tak,
logon aur traffic ki awazain mukammal tor par khatam ho chuki thi. Uske ird gird sirf
keede makoron ki cheekh pukar thi. Usay apne gardan se kamar tak chheelan
mehsoos ho rahi thi kyunki wo darakht ke tne se bandha tha. Dhaga uske kalay
peechay darakht par kaat raha tha aur uske haath aur hilne ke qabil nahi rahe thay.

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Usay apni kalaiyon mein zehrila dard mehsoos ho raha tha. Ab tak, tissues jo uske
munh mein bharay thay, gund ban chuke thay aur usne strip ko apne munh mein
hilana shuru kiya, lekin wo pukar nahi sakta tha, kyunki wo na to tissues ko nigal
sakta tha aur na hi unhe thook sakta tha. Itne zyada tissues thay ke wo unhe
chewing gum ki tarah chaba bhi nahi sakta tha.

Usne kaanpna shuru kar diya. Is haalat mein, wo zaroor subah tak mar chuka hota,
agar wo dar se ya kisi zehrile janwar ke kaatne se na mar jata. Uski jild pe chhote
chhote keede chal rahe thay jo bar bar usay kaat rahe thay. Wo apni nangi tangon se
keede hila sakta tha lekin apne baaqi jism se nahi. Usne socha, ke in chhote keedon
ke ilawa aur kaun kaun si makhlooqat se usay mukabla karna padega, aur agar yahan
bichhoo aur saanp hain...

Waqt guzarta gaya aur uski halat bigarti gayi. "Yeh mere saath kyun ho raha hai?
Maine kya ghalti ki hai?" Aur agar main mar jaoon... Koi meri laash bhi nahi dhundh
payega. Keede aur jungli janwar mujhe kha jayenge." Usne dukh bhari soch mein
dooba.

Uski haalat aur bhi kharab hoti gayi. Wo sun se numb hone laga. "Kya main isi tarah
mar jaoonga, yahan... is haalat mein... nanga... behisab... mere logon ko meri khabar
bhi nahi hogi... kya yeh hi meri taqdeer hai." Uska dil dhadakna chor gaya. Achanak,
usay maut ka itna zyada dar mehsoos hua ke usay saans lena mushkil ho gaya. Usay
aisa laga ke maut uske samne khadi uski saansein dheere dheere khatam hoti dekh
rahi hai.

Dard ko shikast dete hue usne ek baar phir apni kalaiyon ko azaad karne ki koshish
ki. Uske baazu dard se bhar gaye. Pandrah mint jhujhne ke baad, usne ruk gaya. Phir
usay ehsaas hua ke uske munh ke ird gird jo strip thi wo dheeli ho gayi thi aur wo
apne gardan ke hila kar usay nikal sakta tha, jo usne kiya. Agla qadam, usne tissues
thook diye.

Usne bohot gehri saansein li aur phir jitni zor se ho sakta tha, madad ke liye
cheekhne laga.

Wo jhunjhalaahat mein tha. Lagataar aadha ghanta cheekhne ke baad uski himmat
aur awaaz jawab de gaye. Uski saansein phool rahi thi, jaise usne kai mil daur lagayi
ho, lekin phir bhi kisi ne uski madad ke liye jawab nahi diya. Uski kalaiyon ke zakhm
naqabill-e-bardasht dard kar rahe thay aur ab keede bhi uske chehre aur gardan ko

267
kaat rahe thay. Usay samajh nahi aya ke achanak kya hua, lekin wo bachon ki tarah
zor zor se rone laga.

Apni zindagi mein pehli martaba wo itni shiddat se ro raha tha. Shayad, pehle kabhi
usne itni be-bas aur majboor mehsoos nahi kiya tha, aur darakht ke tne se bandha,
usne mehsoos kiya ke wo marna nahi chahta. Wo maut ke saaye mein ghira hua
mehsoos kar raha tha, jaise New Haven mein mehsoos kiya tha. Usay yaad nahi ke
kitni dair tak wo is tarah hysteirically rota raha. Phir uski aankhon ke aansu sookhne
lage. Shayad wo itna thak gaya tha ke wo ro bhi nahi sakta tha. Thak kar chur, wo
darakht ke tne ke saath lag gaya aur apni aankhein band kar li. Uske kandhe aur
baazu itna dard kar rahe thay ke usay laga ke wo hamesha ke liye fail ho jayenge.

"Maine kabhi kisi ko aise dard nahi diya, lekin yeh mere saath kyun ho raha hai?"
Aansun phir uski aankhon se behne lage.

"Salar! Meri zindagi pehle hi mushkilaat se bhari hui hai, meri mushkilein aur mat
badhao; meri zindagi pehle hi mushkil hai aur har guzarne wale din ke saath aur bhi
mushkil hoti ja rahi hai. Kam az kam meri halat ko samajhne ki koshish karo aur meri
mushkilein aur mat badhao."

Darakht ke tne ke saath lag kar Salar ne apni aankhein kholi. Uska gala sukh raha
tha. Neeche bohot door, wo Islamabad ki roshniyan dekh sakta tha.

"Kya main tumhari mushkilein badhane ki koshish kar raha hoon? Main...? Meri pyari
Imama! Main tumhare masail se ghira hua hoon. Main unka khatma karne ki koshish
kar raha hoon. Socho, mere saath reh kar tumhari zindagi kitni achi aur mehfooz ho
sakti thi."

Salar ne apne honton ko kaata.

"Salar! Mujhe talaaq do," usne cheekh kar kaha tha.

"Jaan! Tum ja kar court se talaaq le lo, jaise tumne pehle hi kaha tha."

Ab wo door ki roshniyon ko khamoshi se dekh raha tha; wo apna aur kisi aur ka aks
sheesha mein pehchaan sakta tha. "Maine sirf mazaaq kiya tha Imama se," usne
budbudaaya.

"Maine... main usay dukh dena nahi chahta tha." Uske lafz usay khud be-maani lag
rahe thay. Khuda jaane wo kis se wazahat karne ki koshish kar raha tha. Boht dair tak

268
wo Islamabad ki roshniyon ko dekhta raha, phir uski aankhein dheeray dheeray band
hone lagi.

"Main maanta hoon ke maine kuch galat kiya hai." Uski awaaz ek kanptay hue
sarghoshiyan thi. "Maine jaan bujh kar uske liye mushkilein paida ki. Maine usay
dhoka diya, lekin maine ghalti ki aur mujhe is par pachtawa hai. Mujhe pata hai ke
talaaq na de kar aur Jalal ke bare mein jhoot bol kar, usay bohot mushkilein sehni
pari hongi. Mujhe waqai sab kuch hone par afsos hai, lekin iske ilawa maine kisi aur
ko dukh nahi diya." Aur wo phir se rone laga.

"Khuda... agar main is mushkil se nikal gaya, to main Imama ko talaaq dunga, aur
usay kabhi tang nahi karunga. Main usay Jalal ke bare mein bhi sach bata dunga.
Khuda, bas mujhe rehaai de do." Ab wo be-qaabu hokar rone laga. Pehli martaba,
usay ahsaas hua ke Imama ko kaisa mehsoos hota hoga jab usne talaaq dene se
inkaar kiya tha. Shayad, usay bhi aise hi haath bandhe huay lagte thay, jaise ab usay
lag raha tha. Yahan baith kar, pehli martaba, usay Imama ki majboori, dar aur dard ka
ehsaas hua. Usne Jalal Ansar ki shaadi ke bare mein jhoot bola tha aur ab tak usay
uske chehre par toti hui umeed ka ehsaas tha. Usay uski pareshani mein maza aata
tha. Usne lagbhag Islamabad se Lahore tak raat bhar roti hui Imama ko dekha tha
aur yeh usay hansi dilata tha.

Ab wo Imama ki zehni aur jazbati haalat ko samajh sakta tha. Us raat andhere mein
gaadi chalate huay, wo na aage dekh paayi hogi na peeche. Wo sirf Jalal Ansar ke
ghar ko apna panahgah samajhti thi, lekin Salar ne usay wahan jaane nahi diya. Us
raat ke andhere mein, wo Imama ke dil ka dar aur badshaguni mehsoos kar sakta tha
jo uske dil ko chhup rahi thi.

"Mujhe afsos hai, waqai, mujhe afsos hai, lekin... lekin main kya kar sakta hoon...
agar... agar mujhe usay phir se dekhne ka mauqa mila, to main us se maafi
mangunga, main jitna ho sakega uski madad karunga—lekin ab... is waqt main kuch
nahi kar sakta. Agar... agar maine kabhi... kabhi koi acha kaam kiya ho, Khuda, mujhe
is musibat se nikaal do. Oh Khuda! Please... please... please."

Aansoon se bhari aankhon ke saath, usne apni zindagi ke achhe kaamon ko yaad
karne ki koshish ki. Pehli martaba, usay yaad aya ke ab tak usne apni zindagi mein
koi acha kaam nahi kiya. Koi bhi acha kaam jo wo Khuda ke saamne rakh sakta aur
badle mein apni rehaai ki dua kar sakta. Ek naye dar ne usay ghair liya. Usne kabhi

269
sadaqah nahi di thi, kyunki wo is par yakeen nahi rakhta tha. Wo hotels aur
restaurants mein tip zaroor deta tha, lekin kabhi kisi faqeer ko khairaat nahi di.
School ya college mein, jab mukhtalif maqsadon ke liye funds ikatthe kiye jaate thay,
wo na to khud donate karta tha aur na hi ikattha karta tha.

"Main sadaqah pe yaqeen nahi rakhta," wo thandey lehje mein kehta. "Mere paas
extra paisa nahi hai jo main udao." Usne New Haven mein bhi yeh rawaiya barqarar
rakha. Yeh kanjoosi sirf sadaqah tak mehdood nahi thi; wo kisi ki madad par bhi
yakeen nahi rakhta tha. Usay koi aisa waqia yaad nahi aya jahan usne kisi ki madad ki
ho. Usne sirf Imama ki madad ki thi, lekin jo kuch usne uske saath kiya uske baad wo
ise acha kaam nahi keh sakta tha. Usne regularly namaz bhi nahi padhi.

Shayad, bachpan mein, wo chand martaba Eid ki namaz par Sikandar ke saath gaya
ho, lekin wo bhi ziyada tar rasam thi ibadat nahi. Usne woh raat yaad ki New Haven
mein jab wo isha ki namaz se beech mein bhaag gaya tha, aur usne woh $50 bhi
yaad kiye jo usne hooker ko diye thay.
Shayad yeh ek hi waqia tha jab usne kisi ke liye reham mehsoos kiya tha. Usne koi
acha kaam yaad karne ki bohot koshish ki, lekin bekaar. Phir usay apne bure kaam
yaad aaye. Usne kya nahi kiya tha? Uske aansu aur duaain foran ruk gayin. Agar wo
us haalat mein mar jata, to uske saath na insafi nahi hoti. Agar 22 saal ki umar mein,
150+ IQ level, photographic memory ke sath, aur kai ghanton tak sochne ke baad
bhi koi ek acha kaam yaad nahi aata, to wo kaise Khuda se apni mushkilat se nikalne
ki umeed kar sakta tha?

"Aage kaise aata hai ecstasy?" usne apne nojawani mein cocaine lete hue apne dost
se pucha tha, jo bhi ise le raha tha.

"Zyada ecstasy," usne kaha tha. Phir, thoda aur lete hue, usne Salar ki taraf dekha.

"Ecstasy ka koi ant nahi hota. Isse pehle pleasure aata hai aur iske baad aur zyada
ecstasy." Wo apne nasha mein tha, lekin Salar mutmain nahi tha.

"Nahi, iska ant hota hai. Jab yeh khatam ho jata hai to kya hota hai? Jab yeh waqai
khatam ho jata hai?"

Uska dost usay ajeeb nazar se dekh raha tha. "Tumhe khud pata hai, hai na? Tum
isse guzarte rehte ho."

Salar jawab dene ke bajaye phir se cocaine lene laga.

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Dhaga jo uske kalaiyon ke gosht ko kaat raha tha, ab bol raha tha: "Dard."

"Dard ke baad kya aata hai?" usne Imama Hashim se chidhate hue us raat pucha tha.

"Kuch nahi."

Ek rassi jaisi cheez uske jism par gir gayi. Yeh uske sir, chehre, gardan, seenay, pait
par chalti hui neeche utar gayi aur jaldi se phisal gayi. Salar ne apni cheekh dabayi
jab uska jism kaanp gaya. Yeh ek saanp tha jo uske upar se bina kaate guzar gaya
tha. Uska jism paseene se bheeg gaya tha aur wo bukhar-zada mareez ki tarah kaanp
raha tha.

"Kuch nahi," awaz saaf thi.

"Aur kuch nahi ke baad kya aata hai?"

Jawab ek tanasur bhari, nafrat se bharpoor muskurahat thi. "Jahannum."

Usne bhi yahi baat kahi thi. Wo wahan, aath ghante se bandha hua tha, us veeran,
andheri aur khaufnaak tanhaayi mein. Wo ek ghante tak madad ke liye chilla raha tha
aur uska gala baith gaya tha, aur wo ek aur lafz bhi nahi bol sakta tha.

Wo "Kuch nahi" aur "Jahannum" ke beech latka hua tha. Shayad, wo "Kuch nahi"
mein ghusne wala tha aur "Jahannum" mein pohanchne wala tha.

"Kya tumhe dar nahi lagta yeh poochhne se ke Jahannum ke baad kya aata hai?
Jahannum ke baad kya ho sakta hai? Jab ek shakhs mar jata hai—saza aur hukm
suna kar—kya bacha rehta hai usme jo tum itni shiddat se jaan'na chahte ho?"

Salar ne ghabrahat bhari nazar se apne ird gird dekha: yeh jagah kya thi? Uska qabr
ya Jahannum ya is zindagi mein uska ek jhalak... bhookh, pyaas, bilkul be-bas, rakte
hue keede jo usay kaat rahe thay, lagbhag mazoor haath aur paon, uske peeth aur
kalaiyon ke zakhm jo waqt ke sath sath badh rahe thay... dar ya dahshat thi lekin
usne paagalon ki tarah cheekhna shuru kar diya tha. Uski cheekhen hawaa ko cheer
rahi thi—hysteria aur khauf se bhari cheekhen, be-maqsad nazar aati thi. Usne kabhi
apni zindagi mein aisa dar mehsoos nahi kiya tha. Kabhi nahi. Usne apne ird gird
demons aur roohon ko dekhna shuru kar diya.

Usay laga ke uske dimag ki koi ragt phatne wali hai ya wo ek nervous breakdown se
guzarne wala hai. Phir uski cheekhen dheere dheere kam ho gayi aur uska gala bilkul

271
band ho gaya. Usne ajeeb mufassil awazein suni: usay yakeen tha ke wo mar raha
tha. Uska dil dhadakna band ho raha tha ya wo apni mental balance kho raha tha.

Aur achanak us waqt, uske kalaiyon ko darakht ke peechay bandhne wala dhaga
dheela pad gaya. Uske weak senses jaise wapas zinda ho gaye.

Hont kaat kar, usne apne haath hilaaye. Dhaga aur dheela hone laga. Shayad, darakht
ke tne ke sath constant friction ke wajah se ye toot gaya tha. Usne apne haath aur
hilaaye aur usay ehsaas hua ke wo darakht se azaad ho gaya tha.

Yaqeen nahi aaya, usne apne baazu seedhe kiye; unmein dard ki lehrain chali gayi.

"Kya, kya main bach gaya hoon?" usne hairani se andhere mein apne baazu aur
haathon ke outlines ko dekha. "Kyoon? Kis liye?"

Uska dimag numb ho raha tha. Usne apne gale se woh kapde ka tukda nikaala jo
pehle uske munh par bandha gaya tha. Harakaton se wo karah uthta, kyunke uske
baazu bohot bura dard kar rahe thay, itna zyada ke usay laga ke wo dobara unka
istemal nahi kar payega. Uski tangon bhi numb ho rahi thi. Usne uthne ki koshish ki,
lekin zameen par gir gaya. Ek karah uske munh se nikli. Usne phir se haathon aur
ghutnon ke madad se uthne ki koshish ki aur is dafa wo kamyaab ho gaya.

Dono ladke uske joggers aur uski ghadi bhi le gaye thay. Uske moze kahin aas paas
pare thay. Wo andhere mein unhe mehsoos kar sakta tha, lekin uske liye uske
haathon aur baazu ka istemal zaroori hota. Wo iske laayak nahi tha, na jismani tor
par aur na zehni tor par.

Wo bas kisi bhi qeemat par wahan se nikalna chahta tha: andhere mein ladkhadaate
hue, wo jhaadiyon ke beech se guzra, kharoche aur chotain lagate hue, jab tak wo us
raste tak na pohanch gaya jahan un ladkon ne usay roka tha. Wo nange paon chala.
Kankad aur patthar uske paon ko chubh rahe thay, lekin yeh us jismani aur zehni
azmaish ke muqable mein kuch bhi nahi tha jo usne guzari thi. Usay nahi pata ke
kitna waqt laga usay chalne mein ya kaise wo chala.

Usay sirf yeh pata tha ke wo rasta bhar zor zor se rota raha.

Usne Islamabad ki raahon ki roshniyon mein apni haalat dekhne ki parwaah nahi ki.
Na wo ruka, na hi madad maangi. Rota, wo footpath par ladkhadata raha.

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Ek police patrol car ne usay pehli martaba dekha aur uske kareeb ruk gayi.
Constables ne usay roka aur uski taraf aaye. Pehli martaba, wo apne hosh mein aaya
lekin wo apne aansu rok nahi saka. Unho ne usse sawal kiya lekin wo kya keh sakta
tha? Agle pandrah minute mein wo ek hospital mein tha jahan usay pehli madad di
gayi. Unho ne uska ghar ka address poocha, lekin uska gala baitha hua tha. Wo kuch
bhi kehne ke qabil nahi tha. Sooje huay haath se, usne apna ghar ka phone number
aur address likha.

------------------------------------------

END OF CHAPTER 5

----------------------------------------

273
 CHAPTER 6

Jab wo New Haven wapas aya, Salar ne apni zindagi ka naya safar shuru kiya. Usne
wo sab waade yaad kiye jo usne us raat junglee andhere mein, darakht se bandha
hua rote hue, kiye thay. Usne sab se alag rehna shuru kar diya, kisi se bhi bohot kam
mulaqat ya raabta rakhta tha. "Main tumse milna nahi chahta." Wo hamesha se saaf
baat karne wala tha, magar uske doston ne kabhi socha nahi tha ke wo itna aagey ja
sakta hai. Kuch hafton tak, wo apne group ke liye tajziya aur tanqeed ka nishana
bana raha; phir ye badal kar aitraaz aur behas mein tabdeel ho gaya, aur aakhir kar,
tanzo miza aur napasandgi tak pohnch gaya. Aakhir mein, ye sab thanda pad gaya
aur log apni apni zindagi mein masroof ho gaye. Salar Sikander kisi ki zindagi ka
markaz nahi tha aur na hi koi uski zindagi ka markaz tha.

New Haven wapas aanay ke baad usne kuch kaam kiye, inmein se ek tha Jalal Ansar
se milne ki koshish karna. Usne Pakistan se wapas aate hue Jalal ka pata uske ghar
walon se liya tha. Ittifaq se, uske ek cousin ne usi hospital mein kaam karta tha jahan
Jalal tha; baaqi sab asaan ho gaya, in fact, bohot asaan. Salar ek baar Jalal se milna
chahta tha aur usse maafi mangna chahta tha, un sab jhooton ka iqraar karna chahta
tha jo usne us aur Imama ke baare mein ek dusre se bole thay. Usko sharam aati thi
apne kirdar par jo usne unki rishte mein ada kiya tha aur wo is ka kafara dena chahta
tha. Usne Jalal Ansar tak rasai hasil kar li thi aur ab, uske zariye Imama Hashim tak
pohnchna chahta tha. Wo hospital cafeteria mein Jalal ke saath tha. Jalal bohot
sanjeeda lag raha tha aur uske mathe par padti shikan uski barhti hui napasandgi ka
izhar kar rahi thi. Salar kuch der pehle hospital pohncha tha, aur usko samne dekh
kar Jalal hairaan reh gaya. Salar ne kuch waqt manga; Jalal ne do ghantey intezar
karwa kar usko waqt diya.

"Sab se pehle, mujhe yeh batao ke tumne mujhe kaise dhoonda?" usne tezi se Salar
se poocha, baithte hue.

"Yeh zaroori nahi." "Yeh bohot zaroori hai. Agar tum chahtay ho ke main tumhare
saath kuch waqt guzaron, to mujhe yeh pata hona chahiye ke tumne mujhe kaise
dhoonda." "Maine apne cousin se madad li thi. Wo doctor hai aur is sheher mein

274
bohot arsay se kaam kar raha hai. Mujhe nahi pata usne tumhe kaise locate kiya.
Maine usko sirf tumhara naam aur kuch aur maloomat di thi," Salar ne jawab diya.

"Lunch?" Jalal ne bohot rasmi taur par poocha. Usne apni lunch tray le kar table par
rakhi thi. Salar ne shukriya keh kar mana kar diya. Jalal ne kandhe uchkaye aur apna
lunch khanay laga. "Tum mujhse kya baat karna chahte thay?"

"Maine tumhe kuch haqiqaton se agah karna tha." "Haqiqaton?" Jalal ne apni
aankhen utha kar sawaal kiya.

"Maine tumse jhoot bola tha. Main Imama ka dost nahi tha; wo mere dost ki behen
thi-meri aglay darwaze wali..." Jalal ne apna khana khana jari rakha. "Meri us se sirf
ek achanak mulaqat thi. Aur wo bhi is liye, kyun ke ek dafa usne mujhe pehli madad
di thi aur meri jaan bachayi thi. Usse mujhe pasand nahi karti thi, aur na hi mujhe wo
pasand thi, aur isi liye maine tumhe ye sab bataya ke wo meri bohot achi dost thi.
Main tum dono ke darmiyan ghalat fehmiyan paida karna chahta tha." Jalal khamoshi
se uski baat sunta raha, apna khana khata raha.

"Iske baad, jab Imama ghar se chali gayi aur tumhare paas aana chahti thi, to maine
usse jhoot bola tumhari shaadi ke baare mein." Is par, Jalal ne khana khana chor
diya. "Maine usse kaha ke tumhari shaadi ho chuki hai. Isi liye wo tumhare paas nahi
ayi. Baad mein mujhe ehsaas hua ke maine ghalat kiya, lekin tab tak bohot dair ho
chuki thi. Mera Imama se koi raabta nahi tha, magar ittifaq se mujhe tum se raabta
ho gaya. Main tumse maafi mangna chahta hoon."

"Mujhe tumhari maafi qubool hai, lekin mujhe nahi lagta ke tumhari wajah se meri
aur Imama ke darmiyan koi ghalat fehmi paida hui. Maine pehle hi faisla kar liya tha
ke usse shaadi nahi karunga," Jalal ne saaf saaf kaha.

"Wo tumse bohot pyar karti thi," Salar ne dheemi awaz mein kaha.

"Han, mujhe pata hai, lekin shaadi mein pyar hi akela meyaar nahi hota. Boht si aur
cheezein bhi hoti hain," Jalal haqeeqat pasandana andaaz mein keh raha tha.

"Jalal! Kya yeh mumkin nahi ke tum usse shaadi kar lo?" "Pehle, mera usse koi raabta
nahi hai. Doosri baat, agar mera usse raabta hota bhi, to bhi main usse shaadi nahi
kar sakta."

"Usse tumhari madad ki zaroorat hai," Salar ne jawab diya.

275
"Mujhe nahi lagta ke usse meri madad ki zaroorat hai kyun ke bohot waqt guzar
chuka hai aur ab tak usne kisi ko dhund liya hoga." Jalal ne itminan se kaha.

"Yeh mumkin hai ke usne aisa nahi kiya ho. Ho sakta hai ke wo ab tak tumhara
intezar kar rahi ho." "Main aise imkanaat ke bare mein sochne ka aadat nahi rakhta.
Maine tumhe bataya tha ke meri career ke is stage par shaadi mumkin nahi hai-aur
wo bhi usse..." "Kyoon?"

"Is sawal ka jawab dene ki mujhe koi zaroorat mehsoos nahi hoti-kyun. Tumhara is
mamle se koi talluq nahi... kyun main usse shaadi nahi karna chahta. Maine usse
pehle hi bata diya tha aur itne waqt ke baad, tum phir se is Pandora's Box ko kholna
chahte ho!" Jalal ab kafi ghussa ho gaya tha.

"Main sirf apne kiye huye nuksan ka azala karne ki koshish kar raha hoon," Salar ne
narmi se samjhaya.

"Mujhe aur Imama ko koi nuksan nahi hua, mere khayal mein. Tum bas had se zyada
sensitive ho rahe ho." Jalal ne kuch salad ka niwala muh mein dala. Salar uski taraf
dekhte hue soch raha tha ke apna maqsood kaise bayan kare.

"Main tumhari madad kar sakta hoon usse dhoondne mein," usne thodi dair baad
kaha.

"Lekin main usse dhoondna nahi chahta. Jab main usse shaadi karne ka irada nahi
rakhta, to usse dhoondne ka kya faida?" Salar ne gehri saans li.

"Kya tumhe pata hai ke uske ghar chorhne ka sabab kya tha?"

"Yakeenan, usne mere liye nahi kiya," Jalal ne darmiyan mein kaha.

"Bilkul theek, tumhare liye nahi, lekin usne jo bhi kiya... ek Musalman ke tor par
tumhara farz nahi tha ke tum uski madad karte, khaaskar jab tumhe pata tha ke wo
tumse bohot pyar karti thi? Wo tumse mutasir thi."

"Main dunya ka akela Musalman nahi hoon aur na hi yeh mera farz hai ke main uski
madad karoon. Meri sirf ek zindagi hai aur main ise kisi aur ke liye barbad nahi karne
wala. Tum bhi Musalman ho-tum usse shaadi kyun nahi kar lete? Maine tumhe pehle
bhi kaha tha, aur tum waise bhi uske liye naram dil rakhte ho."

Salar ne khamoshi se uski taraf dekha: wo yeh nahi bata sakta tha ke usne usse
shaadi kar li thi.

276
"Shaadi? Usse main pasand nahi hoon," usne shikayat bharay lehje mein kaha.

"Main usse baat kar sakta hoon aur usse razi kar sakta hoon; bas mujhe usse raabta
karne do aur main usse manwa loonga. Tum achay insaan ho, aur acha khandan bhi
lagta hai. Ek saal pehle tumhare paas ek bohot achi gaari thi-iska matlab hai ke tum
khushhal ho. By the way, tum yahan kyun ho?"

"MBA kar raha hoon."

"Phir koi masla nahi: tumhe achi naukri mil jayegi aur paisa bhi hai. Aurat ko aur kya
chahiye? Aur Imama to tumhe pehchanti hi hai."

Jalal ne masla foran hal kar diya. "Masla yeh hai ke wo mujhe achi tarah se pehchanti
hai-bohot achi tarah," Salar ne socha, Jalal ki taraf dekhte hue.

"Wo tumse pyar karti hai," Salar ne use yaad dilaya.

"Yeh meri ghalti nahi hai. Ladkiyan in mamlat mein bohot jazbati ho jati hain," Jalal
ne bemani se jawab diya.

"Yeh ek tarfa mamla nahi ho sakta-tum bhi kuch had tak shamil rahe hoge," Salar ne
sanjeedgi se kaha.

"Haan, kuch had tak... lekin waqt ke sath insaan ki tarjeehat badal jati hain."

"Agar tumhe apni tarjeehat waqt aur surat-e-haal ke mutabiq badalni thi, to tumhe
pehle usse involve hone se pehle batana chahiye tha. Kam az kam, phir wo tum par
depend nahi karti aur na hi kisi madad ki umeed rakhti. Main umeed karta hoon ke
tum yeh nahi kaho ge ke tumne usse shaadi ka koi wada kiya tha."

Jalal ne kuch nahi kaha lekin ghusse se uski taraf dekhta raha. Phir, kuch der baad,
usne sakhti se poocha, "Tum mujhse kehna kya chahte ho?"

"Jab usne pehli baar mujhe tumhara number diya aur kaha ke tumhe call karoon,
usne mujhe kaha ke tumse poochon ke kya tumne apne waliden se uske sath shaadi
ke bare mein baat ki hai. Maine usko apna cell phone diya taa ke wo tumse khud
baat kar sake. Yakeenan, Islamabad aane se pehle tumne usse kaha hoga ke tum
apne waliden se shaadi ke bare mein baat karoge. Tumne usse apni mohabbat ka
izhar zaroor kiya hoga aur phir rishta bhi bheja hoga."

Jalal ne sakhti se kaha, "Maine usse rishta nahi bheja tha. Ye usne mujhse rishta
mangi thi."

277
"Manzoor, usne mangi thi... to tumne kya kiya? Tumne mana kar diya?" Salar ne
chalange di.

"Ho sakta hai maine mana kar diya ho."

Salar ne ajeeb muskurahat di. "Usne mujhe bataya tha ke tum bohot khoobsoorati se
naats padte ho aur Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) se bohot mohabbat karte ho. Usne
tumhe zaroor bataya hoga ke kyun wo tumse pyar karti thi, lekin tumse milkar aur
tumhe jaan kar, mujhe bohot mayoosi hui hai. Tum naat shayad jazbey ke sath padte
ho lekin jahan tak Rasool (PBUH) se mohabbat ka taluq hai, mujhe nahi lagta ke tum
mein koi hai. Main khud bhi itna acha insaan nahi hoon aur mohabbat ke bare mein
zyada nahi janta, lekin itna zaroor janta hoon ke jo insaan Allah aur uske Rasool
(PBUH) se mohabbat ka dawa kare ya doosron ko yeh tasur de, wo kabhi madad ke
liye badhaye gaye haath ko rad nahi karta; na hi wo doosron ko dhoka de sakta hai."

Salar uth gaya. "Aur main sirf yeh chahta hoon ke tum uski madad karo: shayad, ek
saal pehle bhi, usne bhi yeh chaaha ho. Agar tum israr karte ho mana karne par, to
main tumhe majboor nahi kar sakta. Lekin tumse milkar aur baat karke, mujhe bohot
mayoosi hui hai."

Salar ne apna haath milane ke liye barhaya, lekin Jalal ne nazar andaz kiya. Wo usko
ghoor kar dekhta raha, uski aankhon mein nafrat thi. "Khuda Hafiz," Salar ne apna
haath wapas lete hue kaha. Jalal ne usko chalte hue dekha aur apne aap se bola,
"Duniya mein bewakoof log bhare pade hain." Phir, usne apni lunch tray ki taraf
wapas dekhne laga. Uska mood kharab tha.

Jalal Ansar se mulaqat ke baad, Salar apni jazbat ko samajhne mein mushkil mehsoos
kar raha tha. Kya usse apne guilt ko chor dena chahiye? Kyunki Jalal ne kaha tha ke
agar Salar ne mudakhlat nahi bhi ki hoti, to bhi wo Imama se shaadi nahi karta, aur
Jalal se baat karke, usne yeh samjha ke Jalal ko Imama se koi gehra lagav nahi tha.
Lekin yeh naye sawalat ko janam de raha tha. Aaj usne Jalal se mulaqat ki thi. Agar
usne ek saal pehle aise baat ki hoti, to shayad asar mukhtalif hota. Tab, uske Imama
ke liye jazbat mukhtalif hote, aur shayad, wo uske liye aaj jaisi berukhi nahi dikhata.
Salar ka zehan tasalli aur pareshani ke darmiyan jhool raha tha.

---------------------------------

278
Apne MBA ke doosre saal mein sab kuch bohot pur sukoon tha. Taleem ke ilawa
usne kuch aur nahi kiya. Wo sirf sports ke baare mein baat karta ya apne class
fellows ke sath mukhtalif topics par behas karta, ya phir group projects par kaam
karta. Baqi ka waqt wo library mein guzarata. Weekend par uska sirf aik kaam hota
tha ke Islamic Centre jaye, jahan wo ek Arab se Quran ki tilawat seekhta aur apne
sabak dohrata; aakhir kar, usne us Arab se Arabic zubaan bhi seekhna shuru kar diya.
Khalid Abdul Rehman, wo Arab, asal mein ek medical technician tha aur ek hospital
mein kaam karta tha. Weekend par wo Islamic Centre mein Arabic zubaan aur Quran
ki classes leta tha. Wo apni khidmaton ke liye koi muawza nahi leta tha, balke, usne
aur uske rishtedaron ne bohot si kitaabein Islamic Centre ki library ko donate ki thi.

Ek din, in Quran classes ke duran, usne Salar se poocha, "Tum Quran kyun nahi hifz
kar lete?" Is achanak suggestion par Salar hairani se uski taraf dekhta raha.

"Main... kaise kar sakta hoon?"

"Kyun... kyun nahi kar sakte?" Khalid ne ulta sawal kiya.

"Yeh bohot mushkil hai, aur meri tarah ke shakhs ke liye; nahi, nahi, main yeh nahi
kar sakta," Salar ne kuch dair ke baad kaha.

"Tumhara dimagh bohot acha hai. Dar haqeeqat, main kehta hoon ke apni poori
zindagi mein, maine tumse zyada zahanat wala shakhs nahi dekha. Itne kam waqt
mein, jis raftar se tumne choti aur badi suratein seekhi hain, kisi aur ne nahi seekhi.
Aur mujhe yeh bhi hairani hai ke tum kitni tezi se Arabic seekh rahe ho. Jab zehen
itna zarkhaiz ho, aur jab seekhne aur cheezein yaad rakhne ka jazba ho, to Quran
kyun nahi. Allah ka bhi haq banta hai tumhari salahiyaaton par," Khalid ne kaha.

"Tum mujhe samajh nahi rahe. Mujhe yeh seekhne mein koi aitraz nahi, lekin yeh
bohot mushkil hai. Main is umar mein yeh nahi kar sakta," Salar ne wazahat ki.

"Lekin mujhe lagta hai ke tumhare liye Quran hifz karna asaan hoga. Tum shuru karo,
aur halaanke main kisi aur ke liye yeh nahi keh sakta, lekin tumhare liye main
guarantee ke sath keh sakta hoon ke tum na sirf yeh asaani se kar loge balke bohot
kam waqt mein..."

Salar ne us din is maamle par aur baat nahi ki. Lekin us raat apne apartment wapas
jaane ke baad, usne sirf Khalid Abdul Rehman ke saath hui baat cheet par socha.

279
Usne socha tha ke Khalid phir se is maamle ko nahi chhedenge, lekin agle hafta phir
usi sawal ko uthaya.

Salar ne uski taraf chup chap dekha aur phir dheemi awaz mein Khalid se kaha,
"Mujhe dar lagta hai."

"Kis baat ka? Quran hifz karne ka?" Khalid ne kuch hairani se poocha.

Salar ne sir hila kar haan mein jawab diya.

"Kyun...?" Wo kaafi dair chup raha. Phir usne farsh par ungli se lakeer banate hue
Khalid se kaha, "Maine bohot gunah kiye hain. Itne zyada gunah, ke inka hisaab
karna mushkil hai-chote gunah, bade gunah, har wo gunah jo insaan soch sakta hai.
Main is kitaab ko apne seene ya zehen mein mehfooz karne ke bare mein soch bhi
nahi sakta. Mera seena aur zehen pak nahi hain. Mere jaise log... mere jaise log is
qabil nahi ke yeh hifz kar sakein. Main is bare mein soch bhi nahi sakta," usne jazbati
hokar kaha.

Khalid kuch dair chup raha. Phir usne poocha, "Kya tum ab bhi gunah karte ho?"
Salar ne sir hila kar inkaar kiya. "Phir kis baat ka dar hai? Agar tum Quran parh sakte
ho, in sab gunahon ke bawajood, to tum ise hifz bhi kar sakte ho, aur tumne gunah
karna chor diya hai. Yeh kaafi hai. Agar Allah tumhe Quran hifz karwana nahi chahta,
to tum kitni bhi koshish kar lo, tum nahi kar paoge; lekin agar tum khush naseeb ho,
to tum kar loge," Khalid ne foran masla hal kar diya.

Salar us raat jaagta raha. Aadhi raat guzarne ke baad, usne pehla sura khol kar-
kapkapi ke sath-hifz karna shuru kiya. Jis waqt usne shuru kiya, usne mehsoos kiya ke
Khalid Abdul Rehman ki baat sach thi. Usne pehle hi Quran ka bohot hissa yaad kar
rakha tha. Shuru mein jo dar usne mehsoos kiya tha, wo zyada dair tak nahi raha.
Uska dil ek ajnabi source se himmat aur sahara pa raha tha-kahan se? Uski zubaan se
alfaaz saaf nikal rahe thay-kaun uski madad kar raha tha? Kaun uske haath ki kapkapi
ko rok raha tha? Kyun?

Subah ki namaz se pehle, wo aansuoun se bheeg gaya jab, pehli baar, usne pichle
paanch ghante mein hifz kiya hua sab kuch mukammal tor par suna diya. Kahin bhi
wo rukha nahi, na bhoola, na usne koi talaffuz ki ghalti ki. Aakhri chand lines sunate
waqt, uski zubaan ruk gayi-uske aansuoun ne uske liye saaf tor par tilawat karna
mushkil bana diya.

280
"Allah chahe aur tum khush naseeb ho, to tum Quran hifz kar loge, warna kitni bhi
koshish kar lo tum nahi kar paoge," usne Khalid Abdul Rehman ke alfaaz yaad kiye.

Subah ki namaz ke baad, usne apni pehli hifz ko ek cassette par record kiya. Phir se,
usne koi mushkilat mehsoos nahi ki. Haqiqat mein, uski tilawat mein zyada rawani thi
aur uska lehja mukammal tha. Yeh uski zindagi mein aik naye cheez thi: usko phir se
barkat mil gayi lekin uska depression nahi gaya. Raat ko, wo bina sleeping pills ke
soch bhi nahi sakta tha, aur sedative ke bawajood, wo apne kamre ki lights band
nahi kar sakta tha. Use andhere se dar lagta tha.

Phir, ek din Khalid ne usse kaha tha. Wo Quran ka sabak suna raha tha, jo usne hifz
kiya tha, aur Khalid intently uska chehra dekh raha tha. Jab usne khatam kiya, to usne
paani ka glass uthaya aur apne honton se lagaya. Usne Khalid ko kehte suna, "Kal
raat, apne khwab mein, maine tumhe Haj karte dekha."

Salar ne paani apne muh mein nahi gira saka. Glass neeche rakh kar, usne Khalid ki
taraf dekha.

"Is saal, tumhara MBA khatam ho jayega; tum agle saal Haj kar sakte ho." Khalid ka
lehja bohot rasmi tha. Salar ne ghair iraadi tor par paani nigal liya. Us din, wo is
tajwez par koi sawaal nahi kar saka. Haqiqat mein, uske paas koi sawaal nahi tha.

Usne apne MBA ke final semester ke start hone se do hafte pehle Quran hifz kar liya
tha. Final semester ke chaar hafte baad, 23 saal aur dedh ka honay par, usne apne
zindagi ka pehla Haj kiya. Wahan jaane ya wapas aane ke duran, uske dil aur zehen
mein koi faqar, takabbur, hasad ya kuch aur nahi tha. Pakistani camp mein uske sath
jo log thay, shayad, wo naseeb wale thay. Wo apne ache amal ki wajah se yeh safar
karne aaye thay. Lekin usko apne bure amal ka ilm tha aur wo apne aamal ka hisaab
dene bulaya gaya tha. Agar wo Quran hifz nahi kar raha hota, to uske zehen mein
Haj karne ka khayal bhi nahi aata. Jo shakhs Haram Shareef se door Allah ka saamna
karne ki himmat nahi rakhta tha, aur kahin aur janay ko tayar tha, us se yeh umeed
nahi ki ja sakti thi ke wo Allah ka Kaaba mein samna kare. Lekin Khalid Abdul
Rehman ke sirf aik suggestion par, usne farmaa'n bardari se ijazat di aur Haj par
janay ke papers submit kar diye. Dosre log Haj par is waqt jate hain jab unke paas
sirf achay aamal hote hain aur unke gunah bohot kam hote hain. Lekin Salar Sikandar
ko tab jana pada jab uske paas sirf uske gunah hi paish karne ke liye thay.

281
"Boht achi baat hai, agar maine bina kisi dar ke gunah kiye hain, to mujhe apne
Khaaliq ke samne khara hone aur apne gunahon ki maafi mangne ka bhi dar nahi
hona chahiye-siwaye iske ke main apna sir nahi utha paunga, apni aankhen nahi utha
paunga... mere honton par sirf maafi ki darkhwast hogi. Main is saza ko manzoor
karta hoon, kyun ke mujhe is se badtar zillat aur malamat milni chahiye. Har saal, ek
shakhs to aisa hona chahiye jo apne saath koi aur cheez nahi sirf apne gunah laaye-
agar is saal wo shakhs main, Salar Sikandar, hoon, to phir theek hai," usne socha.

---------------------------------------

"Apne gunahon ka bojh" ka matlab aur Qayamat ke din ek shakhs ka is bojh ko apne
se utar kar phenk dena, ya kisi aur ke upar dhal dena, Salar ko us waqt samajh aya
jab wo Haram Shareef pohncha. Wahan khade hokar, agar usne apne gunahon ko
apne maujooda aur mustaqbil ki zindagi ke tamam maal o daulat ke liye badalne ki
koshish ki hoti, to usko koi kharidaar nahi milta. Kaash koi apne buray kaam paise ke
liye badal sakta aur kisi aur ke nek aamaal kharid sakta. Hazaron ke is majmooe
mein, jo sab do safaid chadron mein lapete hue thay, kisey pata tha ke Salar
Sikandar kaun tha ya kisey is baat ki parwa thi ke uska dimagh kitna brilliant tha? Ya
usne kya parha tha aur kahan se?

Jo academic records usne qaim kiye aur tode thay aur jo challenges usne mukhtalif
fields mein apni zahanat se paar kiye thay, unka wahan koi farq nahi parta tha. Agar
wo gir jata aur bhagdad mein kuchal diya jata, to wahan koi bhi nahi rukta ke sochta
ke kitna bara intellectual nuqsan hota.

Usne apni adna si ahmiyat ko bohot gehrai se mehsoos kiya, aur agar koi shak ka
zarra bhi baqi tha, to wo door ho gaya. Uske baqi bachay huay takabbur, ego, khud
pasandi, aur hasad ko uske nizaam se nikal diya gaya tha. Wo wahan inhi gandi
cheezon ko khatam karwane gaya tha.

---------------------------------------------

Uske MBA ke shaandaar nateeja ne kisi ko hairan nahi kiya, kyunki uska department
uski salahiyaaton se khoob waqif tha. Uske projects aur assignments uske class
fellows se itne behtareen thay ke uske professors ko uski hairat angez kamiyabi ko
tasleem karne mein koi hichkichahat nahi thi. Wo apne hum-asron se bohot aage
tha, aur apne MBA ke doosre saal mein wo aur bhi aage nikal gaya tha.

282
Usne apni internship ek UN agency ke saath ki thi. Apne MBA ke mukammal hone se
pehle hi, uske paas saath multinational companies se job offers aayi thi, is UN agency
ke ilawa.

Apne MBA ke nateeja ka pata chalne par, Sikander Usman ne usse paas bulaya aur
poocha, "Ab tum kya karna chahte ho?"

"Main wapas America ja raha hoon kyunki main sirf United Nations ke saath kaam
karna chahta hoon."

"Lekin main chahta hoon ke tum apna khud ka business shuru karo ya mere business
mein shamil ho jao," Sikander Usman ne kaha.

"Papa, main business nahi kar sakta kyunki mera mizaj iske liye nahi hai. Main job
karna chahta hoon aur main Pakistan mein nahi rehna chahta."

Sikander Usman hairan ho gaya. "Tumne pehle kabhi nahi kaha ke tum Pakistan mein
nahi rehna chahte. Tum America mein permanently settle hona chahte ho?"

"Pehle, maine America mein settle hone ka nahi socha tha, lekin ab main yeh chahta
hoon."

"Kyun?" Usne ye nahi bataya ke Pakistan mein uska depression barh jata tha. Uske
zehen mein Imama ka khayal rehta tha, aur yahan sab kuch usse Imama ki yaad
dilata tha. Yahan, usne zyada apne gunahon ko mehsoos kiya aur zyada pashemani
mehsoos ki.

"Main yahan adjust nahi ho sakta."

Sikander Usman ne kuch dair ke liye uska jaiza liya. "Lekin mujhe lagta hai ke tum
yahan wapas adjust ho sakte ho."

Salar samajh gaya ke wo kis taraf ishara kar rahe hain, lekin wo chup raha.

"Tum job karna chahte ho? Theek hai. Tum wahan kuch saal kaam karo, lekin baad
mein wapas aao aur mere business ko sambhalo. Main yeh sab tum logon ke liye
bana raha hoon, kisi aur ke liye nahi."

Usne kuch der tak usse jeetne ki koshish ki aur Salar chup chap uski baat sunta raha.

-----------------------------------------------

283
Ek hafte baad, wo wapas America mein tha aur chand hafton mein hi usne UNICEF
mein job shuru kar di. Usne New Haven se New York shift kar liya. Yeh ek naye
zindagi ka aghaz tha, lekin kuch hafton mein hi usne mehsoos kiya ke kahin bhi wo
apne mazi se door nahi ja sakta. Wahan bhi, wo usay nahi bhool sakta tha. Uska
zameer usay chain se jeene nahi deta tha.

Usne 16 se 18 ghante rozana kaam karna shuru kar diya aur 3 se 4 ghante se zyada
nahi sota tha. Is sakht routine ne bohot had tak usay normal banane mein madad ki
thi. Ek taraf, uska kaam mein itna mashghool hona uske depression ko kam karne
mein madadgar tha, aur doosri taraf, wo apni tanzeem ke sab se numaya karkunon
mein se ek ban gaya tha. Usne Asia, Africa, aur Latin America ke mukhtalif UNICEF
projects ke silsile mein mulaqatain shuru ki. Pehli dafa usne apni aankhon se qareebi
se gareebi aur beemari ko dekha. Akhbarat aur reports mein chapne wale waqiat aur
haqaiq aur apni aankhon se dekhi hui haqiqat mein bohot farq hota hai. Is farq ko
usne apni job mein samjha.

Hazaron log har raat bhookay sotay hain. Hazaron log bohot zyada khana khate hain.
Usne samjha ke roz teen waqt ka khana milna, sar par chhat hona, aur kapray milna
kitni bari naimat hai.

UNICEF team ke sath chartered aircrafts mein safar karte hue, wo apni zindagi ke
bare mein sochta. Wo sochta ke aisi kaun si bari achhai usne zindagi mein ki hai ke
wo itna imtiyazi hai, aur un logon ne aisa kya gunah kiya ke unhein zindagi ki
buniyadi zarooriyaat se mehroom rakha gaya, aur sirf zinda rehne ke liye, khane ke
packet ke peeche daurna parta hai.

Wo raat bhar jag kar schemes aur plans banata rehta tha, jese ke khane ki behtareen
taqseem, kis kisim ke behtri mumkin hai, kis jagah zyada madad darkar hai, aur kis
maqam par kaun se projects ki zaroorat hai. Kabhi kabhi wo 48 ghante tak bina soye
kaam karta rehta.

Uske proposals aur reports itni technically sound aur mukammal hoti thi ke unmein
koi kami nikalna mumkin nahi hota tha. Ye qualities uski shohrat aur rutbe ko
barhawa de rahi thi. Usne mehsoos kiya ke agar Allah ne usay dusron se behtar
dimagh aur zyada salahiyaat se nawaza hai, to usay in salahiyaat ko dusron ke faida
ke liye istemal karna chahiye-taake dusron ki zindagi ko asaan aur behtar banaya ja
sake. Jab wo kaam karta, to sirf isi ke bare mein sochta.

284
UNICEF ke liye kaam karte hue, usne M.Phil karne ka socha aur programme mein
admission le liya. Shaam ki classes join karke, usne aik lamha ke liye bhi yeh nahi
socha ke wo phir se apne aap ko zyada stress mein daal raha hai, lekin iske ilawa
uske paas koi aur raasta nahi tha. Kaam uske liye ek junoon ban gaya tha; shayad, is
se bhi zyada: ek mission.

-----------------------------------------------

Salar ki Furqan se pehli mulaqat US se Pakistan ke flight mein hui thi. Furqan uske
bagal mein baitha tha. Furqan US mein ek medical conference attend karke wapas aa
raha tha; Salar apni behan Anita ki shaadi ke liye ja raha tha. Is lambi flight mein
unhone pehle to mamooli baat chit ki aur phir unki guftagu silsila war chalti rahi.
Furqan Salar se bara tha—wo paitis saal ka tha—aur London mein specialization ke
baad Pakistan wapas aaya tha jahan wo ek hospital mein kaam karta tha.

Wo shaadi shuda tha aur uske do bachay thay. Kuch ghanto ki baat cheet ke baad,
Furqan aur Salar ne sona ka irada kiya. Salar, apni routine ke mutabiq, apne briefcase
se neend ki goliyan nikaal kar pani ke saath lee. Furqan ye sab khamoshi se dekhta
raha. Jab Salar ne briefcase band karke rakh diya, to Furqan bola, "Aksar log bina
sedative ke flight mein so nahi paate." Salar ne uski taraf dekha aur bola, "Mujhe to
flight ho ya na ho, bina is ke neend nahi aati—meri yehi aadat hai." "Neend mein
mushkil hoti hai?" Furqan ne hairani se poocha.

"Mushkil?" Salar muskuraya. "Mujhe bas neend nahi aati. Main ek goli leta hoon aur
teen ya char ghante so leta hoon." "Insomnia?" Furqan ne poocha.

"Shayad. Maine kabhi doctor ko nahi dikhaya lekin lagta hai kuch aisa hi hai," Salar
ne casually kaha.

"Tumhe isko check karana chahiye. Is umar mein insomnia? Ye achi sehat ki nishani
nahi hai. Mera khayal hai tum kaam ke mamle mein pagal ho gaye ho aur apne
neend ke routine ko kharab kar diya hai." Furqan ab doctor ki tarah baat kar raha
tha. Salar muskuraya aur uski baat suni. Wo usse nahi bata sakta tha ke agar wo din
raat kaam na kare to wo apni guilt-laden zameer ke saath zinda nahi reh sakta. Wo
usse ye bhi nahi bata sakta tha ke agar wo bina goliyon ke sone ki koshish karta, to
uske dimagh mein Imama ke khayalat ghumanay lagte—aur itne zyada ke uska sar
dard se phat jata.

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"Din mein kitne ghante kaam karte ho?" Furqan ab tahqiqat kar raha tha.

"Athara ghante, kabhi kabhi bees." "Oh My God! Kab se?" "Pichle do ya teen saal se."
"Aur tab se tumhe neend ka masla hai. Maine aisa hi socha tha. Tumne apna routine
kharab kar liya hai, warna itne lambi der tak kaam karne wale insaan ke liye mental
thakan hi lambi aur pur sukoon neend ke liye kaafi hoti hai," Furqan ne kaha.

"Mujhse aisa nahi hota," Salar ne aahista se kaha.

"Tumhe pata lagana chahiye ke tumhare saath aisa kyun hota hai." Salar usse nahi
bata sakta tha ke wo wajah janta hai. Kuch dair ki khamoshi ke baad, Furqan bola,
"Agar main tumhe kuch ayatain bataoon jo sone se pehle parhi jati hain, to kya tum
wo parh sakte ho?"

"Main kyun nahi parh sakta?" Salar ne uski taraf dekh kar kaha.

"Nahi, baat yeh hai ke hum jaise log jo zyada parhe likhe hain aur wo bhi West mein,
wo aise cheezon ko nahi maante ya unko practical nahi samajhte," Furqan ne
samjhaya.

"Furqan, main Hafiz-e-Quran hoon," Salar ne shanti se apni seat pe peechay lete hue
kaha. Furqan hairan reh gaya.

"Har raat, main sone se pehle ek sipara parhta hoon; mujhe yaqeen ya imaan ki kami
ka koi masla nahi hai," Salar ne kaha.

"Main bhi Hafiz-e-Quran hoon," Furqan ne usse bataya. Salar muskuraya aur uski
taraf dekha. Ye waqai ek khushgawar ittefaq tha. Halaanke Furqan ki daarhi thi, lekin
Salar ko ye khayal nahi aaya tha ke wo bhi Hafiz-e-Quran ho sakta hai.

"Phir to tumhe aisa masla nahi hona chahiye. Ek insaan jo Quran Majeed parhta ho
aur neend mein dushwari ho, ye mujhe ajeeb lagta hai." Furqan kuch aise hi baatein
kar raha tha. Ab, Salar anjaane mein neend ke halat mein ja raha tha, aur usne apni
aankhein band kar li.

"Kya tumhe koi masla hai?" Furqan ne poocha. Agar wo sedative ke asar mein nahi
hota to wo muskurata aur is sawal ko taal deta, lekin wo is halat mein nahi kar sakta
tha.

"Haan, mujhe bohot se fikr hain. Mera zehan pur sukoon nahi hai, mujhe lagta hai ke
main aik sehra mein musalsal safar kar raha hoon, aur mujhe pashemani aur guilt ka

286
peecha hai. Main ek najat dinda, ek kamil rahnuma ki talash mein hoon, jo mujhe is
azab se nijaat dilaye, jo mujhe najat ka rasta dikhaye." Furqan uska chehra dekh raha
tha. Halaanke Salar ki aankhein band thi, phir bhi Furqan uski aankhon ke kone se
aansu nikalte dekh sakta tha.

Wo kuch ghair muddai aur ladkhadati hui awaz mein baat kar raha tha; wo neend ki
goliyon ke asar mein baat kar raha tha.

Usne chup chap suni aur Furqan ne usse aage sawal nahi kiya. Uski bohot hi
munazzam sansain is baat ki nishani thi ke wo neend ke alam mein chala gaya tha.

-----------------
Unka tabadla-e-khayalat tab bhi jari raha jab Salar kuch dair baad jag gaya. Furqan
ne un baaton ka zikar nahi kiya jo Salar ne neend mein keh di thi. Khud Salar ko bhi
yaad nahi tha ke usne neend se pehle kuch kaha tha, aur agar kaha tha to kya kaha
tha. Safar ke ikhtitam se pehle, dono ne apne contact numbers aur addresses ka
tabadla kiya. Phir Salar ne usse Anita ki shaadi mein shamil hone ka dawat diya.
Furqan ne wada kiya ke wo aayega lekin Salar ko yaqeen nahi tha ke wo aayega.

Unka flight Karachi tak thi; wahan se Salar ko Islamabad aur Furqan ko Lahore ke liye
flight leni thi. Airport par Furqan ne uska hath mazbooti se hilaya aur rukhsat ki.

Anita ki shaadi teen din baad thi aur Salar ko in teen dinon mein bohot sa kaam
karna tha, kuch shaadi se mutaliq aur kuch apna. Agle shaam, usse Furqan ka phone
aaya, jo uske liye aik surprise tha. Unka guftagu das pandra minute tak chali aur
phone rakhne se pehle, Salar ne ek dafa phir usse Anita ki shaadi yaad dilai.

"Tumhe yaad dilane ki zaroorat nahi, mujhe achi tarah yaad hai. Waise bhi, main is
weekend Islamabad mein hi hoon. Mujhe apne gaon ke school ka dekha bhala karna
hai. School ki building mein kuch izafa ho raha hai, is silsile mein mujhe wahan jana
hai... To is baar mera Islamabad mein thoda arsa zyada guzrega." Salar ne shauq se
suna.

"Gaon... school... kya matlab?"

"Main apne gaon mein ek school chala raha hoon," Furqan ne Islamabad ke qareebi
dehi ilaqe ka zikr karte hue kaha. "Asal mein, main ye school kayi saalon se chala
raha hoon."

"Kis liye?"

287
"Kis liye?" Furqan ne hairan hokar poocha. "Logon ki madad ke liye. Aur kis liye?"

"Kya ye charity ka kaam hai?"

"Nahi, ye charity ka kaam nahi hai. Ye mera farz hai. Main kisi par ehsaan nahi kar
raha." Furqan ne mauzu badal diya. School ke bare mein aur baat nahi hui aur call
khatam ho gayi.

------------------------

Furqan Anita ki shaadi mein shamil hone ke liye aaya. Usne kaafi dair tak wahan waqt
guzara, lekin Salar ne dekha ke wo kuch hairan hai. "Tumhara khandan kaafi
westernized hai." Salar ne foran samajh liya ke uske bechaini aur hairani ka sabab kya
tha.

"Maine socha tha ke tumhara khandan kuch conservative hoga kyunke tumne bataya
tha ke tum Hafiz-e-Quran ho aur tumhara tarz-e-zindagi bohot mutawaze lagta hai,
lekin yahan aake main hairan ho gaya hoon. Tum aur tumhara khandan bohot
mukhtalif ho. Mujhe lagta hai ke tum hi alag ho." Wo apni aakhri observation par
khud bhi thoda muskuraya. Ab wo Furqan ki car ke paas the.

"Maine sirf do saal pehle Quran hifz kiya hai. Aur main pichle do ya teen saalon se hi
alag ho gaya hoon. Is se pehle, main apne khandan se bhi zyada westernized tha,"
Salar ne wazahat ki. "Tumne sirf do saal pehle Quran hifz kiya? Apni America ke
doraan taleem? Main yaqeen nahi kar sakta!" Furqan ne hairani se sar hila diya.

"Tumhe kitna waqt laga?" "Taqreeban aath mahine." Furqan kuch dair tak be-aawaz
raha aur uski taraf disbelief se dekhta raha. Phir usne gehri saans li aur uska rawaiya
narm ho gaya. "Allah ne tumpe bepanah meharbani ki hai, kyunke tumne jo mujhe
bataya, wo asan kaam nahi hai. Flight par bhi, main tumhari kamiyabi se bohot
mutasir hua tha, kyunke UNESCO mein itni kam umar mein tumhare jaise maqam tak
koi nahi pahunch sakta." Usne phir bohot garamjoshi se Salar ka haath hilaya. Kuch
lamho ke liye, Salar ka chehra rang badal gaya. "Allah ki bepanah meharbani! Agar
main usse apni zindagi ki sacchaiyan bataoon to wo..."

Salar ne topic badalne ki koshish ki. "Us din tum kisi school ke baare mein baat kar
rahe the," Salar ne jaan bojh kar mauzu badla. "Tum Islamabad mein nahi rehte?"

"Main Islamabad mein rehta hoon, lekin mera ek gaon hai, mera abaai gaon. Wahan
humari kuch zameen hai, aur ek ghar bhi tha," Furqan ne tafseelat dena shuru ki.

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"Kayi saal pehle, mere walidain Islamabad shift ho gaye the. Mere walid, federal
service se retire hone ke baad, apni zameen par ek school banaya. Us gaon mein koi
school nahi tha. Unhone ek primary school banaya. Main pichle saat ya aath saalon
se uska dekh bhaal kar raha hoon. Ab wo secondary level tak barh gaya hai. Chaar
saal pehle, maine wahan ek dispensary bhi banayi. Tumhe ye dispensary dekh kar
hairat hogi. Ismein latest equipment hai. Mere ek dost ne ek ambulance bhi gift ki
hai. Ab, na sirf mere gaon ke log balki aas paas ke gaon ke log bhi school aur
dispensary se faida utha rahe hain."

Salar dilchaspi se uski baat sun raha tha.

"Magar tum ye sab kyun kar rahe ho? Tum ek surgeon ho, ye sab kaise kar lete ho,
aur is sab ke liye bohot paisa chahiye hota hai."

"Main ye sab kyun kar raha hoon? Ye ek sawal hai jo maine kabhi apne aap se nahi
poocha. Mere gaon mein itni garibi thi ke ye sawal mujhe kabhi nahi aaya. Hamare
bachpan mein, hum kabhi kabhi apne gaon jaya karte the. Ye hamara outing hota
tha. Hamari haveli ke siwa, wahan sirf kachi mitti ke ghar the, aur koi rasta bhi nahi
tha. Aisa lagta tha jaise hum jungle mein aa gaye hain. Agar hum jaanwar hote, to
humein koi farq nahi padta."

"Shahar mein hum idhar udhar ghoomte, doosron par hukumat karte, yeh samajhte
ke hum in gaon walon se bohot upar hain. Magar ek hassas insaan ke liye, yeh
dekhna mushkil hota hai ke doosre log janwaron ki tarah jeene par majboor hain.
Shayad kuch logon ko is baat se tasalli milti hai ke unhein doosron se zyada
ne'matein mili hain jo mehroom hain, lekin hum us category mein nahi hain."
"To phir sawal utha: kya kiya jaye? Mere paas koi jaadu ki chhari nahi thi jo sab kuch
raaton raat theek kar deti, na hi mere paas bepanah wasail the. Jaise maine tumhe
bataya, mere walid ek civil servant the, ek imandar civil servant. Mere bhai aur maine
hamisha scholarships pe parha, to hamare walidain ko humpar zyada kharch nahi
karna para. Wo zaroorat se zyada kharch karne wale bhi nahi the, isliye unke paas
kuch bachat thi. Jab mere walid retire hue, unhone socha ke Islamabad ya Lahore
mein apni zindagi akhbar parhne aur sair pe jane mein guzarne ke bajaye, wo apne
gaon wapas jayein aur wahan ke logon ki zindagi mein behtari laayein," Furqan aur
Salar car mein baith kar baat kar rahe the.

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"Tum tasavvur nahi kar sakte mushkilat ko. Gaon mein na bijli thi, na peene ka paani,
kuch bhi nahi tha. Baba ne in cheezon ke liye har jaga daud lagayi. Jab ek primary
school ban gaya, to ek road bhi bana, aur bijli aur paani jaisi sahulaten bhi aa gayin.
Phir hukumat ko yaad aya ke wahan apna school banana chahiye. Mere walidain
chahte the ke hukumat unka school le le, apne teachers faraham kare aur kuch arsa
baad school ko upgrade kare. Lekin kuch hi mulaqaton ke baad, Baba ko samajh
aaya ke agar hukumat school ko le legi, to unki saari mehnat zaya ho jayegi. Baba
bachon ko sab kuch dete the: textbooks, exercise books, uniforms aur zaroori
cheezen. Unhone khaas taur pe is ke liye funds allocate kiye the. Tum khud samajh
sakte ho ke agar school hukumat ke hawale ho jata, to pehle funds gayab ho jate aur
phir baqi sab kuch. Isi liye Baba ne khud school chalaya."

Furqan ne Salar ko bataya ke bawajood iske ke hukumat ne apna school banaya,

wahan ek bhi bacha nahi gaya. Aakhirkar, hukumat ne apna school band kar diya aur
unke walid ke school ko upgrade kiya. Unke walid ke kuch dost bhi madad ko aaye
aur school taraqqi karta gaya. Us zamane mein, Furqan England mein parh raha tha
aur wo paisa bacha kar school ke liye bhejta tha. School ko behtari milti gayi aur aas-
paas ke gaon ke bachay bhi wahan taleem hasil karne lage. Furqan ne bataya ke
Pakistan wapas aane par usne wahan ek theek thaak dispensary bhi qaim ki. Gaon ki
abadi barh gayi thi lekin garibi ab bhi unki zindagi ka hissa thi. Lekin taleem ki wajah
se, ab nojawaan shehron mein kamai karne ja sakte the, aur technical skills hasil kar
sakte the—garibi ka daira kuch hat tak toot raha tha.

"Agar yeh nasal nahi to kam az kam agle nasal ke log, tumhare aur mere tarah
moaziz idaaron mein parhaai kar sakte hain, degrees hasil kar sakte hain—kaun
jaane?" Furqan ne umeed se kaha. "Main har maheene ek weekend wahan jaata
hoon; wahan do compounders hain lekin koi doctor nahi. Baqi ke teen weekends kisi
aur ko arrange karte hain, aur har teen maheene mein wahan ek medical camp
lagata hoon."

"Aur is sab ke liye paisa kahan se aata hai?" Salar ne poocha.

"Shuruwat mein ye mere walid ki koshish thi—unke gratuity, meri maa ki bachat, aur
kuch unke doston se. Phir Mehran aur main madad karte hain aur kuch hamare dost
bhi. Main apni aamdani ka ek acha hissa har maheene gaon bhejta hoon taake
dispensary chalti rahe. Wahan ke doctors muft kaam karte hain—yeh unki social

290
responsibility ka hissa hai. Medical camps bhi isi jazbe se chalate hain. School ke
funds fixed deposit mein hain aur uske returns se school ke kharche, staff salaries
waghera uthaye jaate hain. Agle dino mein, hum ek technical institute bhi qaim karne
ka soch rahe hain."

"Tum wahan kab ja rahe ho?"

"Main kal subah ja raha hoon."

"Agar main tumhare saath chalna chahoon?" Salar ne poocha.

"Most welcome… lekin kya valima kal raat ko nahi hai? Tum yahan busy hoge,"
Furqan ne yaad dilaya.

"Wo raat ko hai. Main din bhar free hoon. Kya shaam tak wapas aana mushkil hoga?"
Salar ne poocha.

"Bilkul nahi: tum asani se wapas aa sakte ho. Bas humein subah bohot jaldi nikalna
padega agar tum wahan waqt guzarna chahte ho. Warna, tum din ke aakhir tak thak
jaoge," Furqan ne kaha.

"Main thakunga nahi. Tumhe andaza nahi ke maine UNICEF teams ke saath kis qisam
ke safar kiye hain aur kaun kaun si jagah dekhi hain. Main fajr ki namaz ke baad
tayyar ho jaoonga, bas mujhe waqt bata do."

"Paune chhe baje."

"Theek hai. Jab tum ghar se niklo to mujhe mobile pe call kar dena, aur horn do teen
dafa baja dena—main bahar aa jaoonga." Salar ne phir usse rukhsat li aur andar
chala gaya. Agli subah, Furqan bilkul waqt par wahan tha. Salar pehli call par hi bahar
aaya aur dono raaste par nikal pare.

"Tum Pakistan kyun wapas aaye jab tum England mein bohot aage barh sakte the?"
Salar ne achanak poocha.

Wo sheher se aadha ghanta door nikal aaye the, apne gaon ke raste par tezi se chal
rahe the. "England ko meri zaroorat nahi thi; Pakistan ko thi," Furqan ne itminan se
jawab diya.

"Dr. Furqan ki wahan non-mojoodgi se koi farq nahi padta. Dr. Furqan ki yahan
mojoodgi se farq padta hai. Meri services yahan zaroori hain." Furqan ne apni aakhri
baat par zor diya.

291
"Magar wahan tum inn saalon mein professionally kaafi tarakki kar sakte the, aur
financial tor par bhi kamyab ho sakte the taake apne project ke liye yahan zyada
funds bhej sakte. Aakhir, tumhein Pakistan mein wohi level of success nahi mil sakta
tha," Salar ne kaha.

"Agar tum material aur financial terms mein success ki baat kar rahe ho, to haan—
tum sahi ho. Magar agar tum professional tor par—ek doctor ki haisiyat se—baat
karte ho, to main yahan zyada zindagiyan bacha raha hoon. Tum andaza nahi laga
sakte ke ek doctor ko kitna sukoon milta hai jab uske mareez sehatmand hote hain.
England mein oncologists ka bohot afraat hai, lekin Pakistan mein unhein ungliyon
par gin sakte ho. Mera paisa yahan bhejna missing person ka gap bharne mein
madad nahi karega. Main aur meri family limited needs wale log hain. Agar maine
kuch seekha hai to wo yeh ke apne logon ke kaam aana chahiye. Main apne logon
ko marne ke liye nahi chhod sakta aur kahin aur zindagiyan bachaane nahi ja sakta.
Pakistan mein sab kuch ghalat hai: health system khandar hai aur corrupt bhi hai—jo
bhi buraayi tum soch sakte ho, wo yahan milti hai. Magar main is jagah ko nahi
chhod sakta, main apne logon ko nahi chhod sakta. Agar mujhe sehat dene ki taqat
mili hai, to mere log uska pehla haq rakhte hain."

Salar ke paas is baat ka jawab nahi tha. Car mein lambi khamoshi chha gayi. Phir
Furqan ne baat shuru ki.

"Tumne mujhse poocha tha ke main Pakistan kyun wapas aaya, aur maine jawab diya.
Ab main tumse poochta hoon, tum apne mulk kyun nahi wapas aate?" usne
muskurate hue poocha.

"Main yahan nahi reh sakta," Salar ne foran jawab diya.

"Kya yeh finances aur facilities ki wajah se hai?"

"Nahi—ye kabhi masla nahi tha, na hai. Tum mera family background jaante ho."

"Phir?"

"Phir...phir kuch nahi, bas main yahan nahi reh sakta," usne ek aakhri baar kaha.

"Tumhari zaroorat yahan hai."

"Kisko?"

"Tumhare mulk ko tumhari zaroorat hai."

292
Salar ne apne aapko muskurate hue paaya. "Main tumhare jaisa patriot nahi hoon—
yahan sab kuch mere baghair bhi theek chal raha hai. Ek doctor alag baat hai, magar
ek finance manager bemar ko sehatmand nahi kar sakta ya zindagiyan nahi bacha
sakta."

"Jo khidmat tum wahan de rahe ho, wo yahan bhi de sakte ho. Jo tum wahan
universities mein parhate ho, wo yahan ki universities mein bhi parhaya ja sakta hai."
Usne Furqan ko kehne ka mann kiya ke agar wo wapas aaya to yahan kuch parhane
ke qabil nahi hoga, magar wo chup chap sunta raha.

"Tumne Africa mein garibi, bhook aur bimari dekhi hai, magar tum apne hi mulk
mein garibi, bhook aur bimari dekh kar hairaan ho jaoge."

"Yahan halat wahan jaise bure nahi hain, Furqan! Yeh jagah itni pichdi hui nahi hai."

"Islamabad mein pale barhe ho kar, tum sheher ke ird gird ke halat ka andaza nahi
laga sakte. Bas Islamabad se bahar kisi bhi gaon mein chale jao, aur tum dekhoge ke
log kitne aaraam se jee rahe hain."

"Furqan, main tumhare project ke liye kuch contribute karna chahta hoon," Salar ne
achanak topic badal diya.

"Salar, mere project ko is waqt kisi funding ki zaroorat nahi hai. Agar tum
development ke liye kuch karna chahte ho, to apna project shuru karo. Tumhein
funds ka masla nahi hoga."

"Mere paas waqt nahi hai. Main America mein kaam karte hue yeh manage nahi kar
sakta. Agar tum kisi aur gaon mein school banana chahte ho, to main tumhe support
karunga, magar main yeh personal waqt aur tawajjo nahi de sakta."

Furqan ne jawab nahi diya. Shayad usne mehsoos kiya ke uska zor dalna Salar ko
chirha raha tha. Guftagu phir Furqan ke gaon ki taraf mud gayi.

Yeh din Salar ki zindagi ke yaadgaar dinon mein se ek tha. Wo gaon ke school se
bohot mutasir hua, aur usse bhi zyada clinic se. Clinic ko chhota hospital kehna
zyada munasib hoga. Full-time doctor ke baghair bhi, wo bohot munazzam aur pur
sukoon tha. Furqan ka intezar tha aur wahan bohot se mareez usse milne ke liye
intezar kar rahe the—har qisam ke log, jawan aur boodhe, mard aur auratein, bachay
aur nojawaan. Unconsciously, Salar ne compound mein idhar udhar chalna shuru kar
diya. Kuch log usse doctor samajh kar uske paas aaye. Salar unse baat karne laga.

293
Usne kabhi ek cancer specialist ko physician ka kirdar ada karte nahi dekha tha,
logon ka check-up karte, prescriptions likhte. Usne maana ke usne Furqan se behtar
doctor nahi dekha: wo apne mareezon ke saath bohot professional aur narm tha;
uski halki muskurahat kabhi uske chehre se gayab nahi hoti thi. Thodi dair baad,
Furqan ne Salar ke school ke daura ke liye intezam kiya. Wahan uski mulaqat Furqan
ke walidain se hui.

Unko Salar ke aane ka pehle se pata tha: shayad Furqan ne unhe call kar ke bata
diya tha. Unhone usse school ka daura karaya. Uski expectations ke bar-aks, school ki
building kaafi wasi aur acchi tareeke se banayi gayi thi. Usne wahan students ki
taadaad dekh kar bhi hairani hui. School mein kuch ghante guzarne ke baad, wo
Furqan ke walidain ke saath haveli gaya. Jaisa hi usne darwaze par kadam rakha, ek
achanak khushi ka ehsas uske andar daur gaya—usne is gaon mein itna khoobsurat
garden dekhne ki tawaqo nahi ki thi. Wo phoolon ke rangin bedon se saja hua tha.

"Ek khoobsurat garden, bohot hi funkaron se bharpoor!" Wo apni tareef express

karne se khud ko nahi rok saka.
"Yeh Shakeel Sahib ka shauq hai," Furqan ki walida ne kaha. "Mera aur Nosheen ka,"
unke walid ne izafa kiya.

"Nosheen?" Salar ne poocha.

"Furqan ki biwi: artistic touch uska hai," unke walid muskuraye.

"Ah haan! Furqan ne bataya tha ke uska khandan Lahore mein hai," Salar ne yaad
karte hue kaha.

"Haan, wo Lahore mein rehte hain, lekin jab Furqan yahan aata hai to apna khandan
saath lata hai. Garden mein jo slides hain, wo uske bachon ke liye hain. Nosheen bhi
doctor hai lekin bachay chhote hain isliye wo practice nahi kar rahi. Wo bhi gaon ki
clinic mein jati hai lekin abhi apne bhai ki shaadi ke liye yahan nahi hai." Salar apne
mehman nawaz ki baat sunte hue ird gird dekhta raha.

Wo haveli lunch ke liye aaya tha aur umeed kar raha tha ke Furqan bhi shamil hoga.
Jab lunch serve kiya gaya, usne Furqan ke baare mein poocha aur usse bataya gaya
ke wo break nahi leta. Uski walida ne kaha ke wo sirf ek sandwich aur chai leta hai,
wo bhi sabse kam waqt mein, kyunki bohot sare log uska intezar kar rahe hote

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hain—aksar, yeh shaam tak chalta rehta hai. Wo baatein karte rahe jab tak unhone
khana khatam nahi kiya.

Furqan ke walid Finance Division mein the aur Grade 20 par retire hue the. Jab unhe
pata chala ke Salar ka professional interest bhi finance mein hai, to wo kaafi excited
ho gaye. Unse baat karte hue, Salar ko waqt ka pata hi nahi chala. Unhone school ke
baare mein baat ki.

"Hamein filhal school ke liye kuch nahi chahiye. Furqan ke ek dost naya block banwa
rahe hain—shayad tumne dekha hoga, wo lagbhag tayaar hai. Magar agar tum kuch
contribute karna chahte ho, to clinic ke liye kuch karo. Hamein ek full-
time/permanent doctor chahiye aur humne Ministry of Health se bohot baar request
kiya hai; Furqan ne bhi apne contacts use kiye hain, magar koi doctor yahan serve
karne ko tayaar nahi. Hamein bohot zarurat hai ek doctor ki—tumne mareezon ki
taadaad dekhi hogi. Ek padosi gaon mein bhi ek dispensary hai lekin wahan bhi
doctor replacement ka intezar kiye baghair chhutti par chala jata hai."

"Main is silsile mein jo kuch bhi kar sakta hoon karunga, lekin main school ke liye bhi
kuch karna chahta hoon. Jab main wapas jaunga, to main UNESCO se kisi NGO ke
through annual grant arrange karne ki koshish karunga."

"Magar hamein iski zarurat nahi hai. Jo kuch tumne yahan dekha, wo humne khud
kiya hai: hamari family, rishtedar, family friends, mere acquaintances, mere bachon ke
dost. Hamein kabhi kisi government ya international agency se grant ki zarurat nahi
pari. UNESCO kab tak hamare logon ki bhook, jahalat, aur bimari ko khatam karne ke
liye aayegi? Jo kuch hum khud kar sakte hain, wo humein karna chahiye."

"Salar ne samjhane ki koshish ki ke wo sirf yeh chahta tha ke yeh project mazeed
barhe."

"Yeh project bohot barhega. Jab tum yahan 20 saal baad aaoge, to tumhe yeh gaon
bilkul mukhtalif nazar aayega. Jo garibi tumne aaj dekhi hai, wo phir nahi hogi. Inka
'kal' inke 'aaj' se mukhtalif hoga," Furqan ke walid ne poore yaqeen se kaha. Salar
chup chap unhe dekhte rahe.

Dopahar mein, Furqan ne dispensary se usse phone kiya. Thodi informal baat cheet
ke baad, usne Salar se kaha, "Ab tumhein Islamabad ke liye nikalna chahiye. Main
tumhein khud drop karna chahta tha, magar yahan kaafi rush hai. Agar main un

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logon ka khayal nahi rakhoon jo doosre gaon se aaye hain, to wo pareshan honge.
Isliye main apne helper ko bhej raha hoon. Wo tumhein car mein Islamabad drop kar
dega." Usne programme fix kiya.

"Theek hai," Salar ne jawab diya.

"Jane se pehle, zara dispensary aake mujhse mil lo," Furqan ne phone rakhte hue
kaha.

Salar ne Furqan ke walidain ke saath chai pee. Tab tak car aa chuki thi aur wo Furqan
ke paas gaya. Subah ka rush kam ho gaya tha, aur ab sirf pachis se tees log reh gaye
the. Furqan ek boodhe aadmi ka moaina kar raha tha. Salar ko dekh kar muskuraya.
"Main inka kaam khatam kar ke aapke paas aata hoon," Furqan ne apne mareez se
kaha aur uth gaya. Wo Salar ke saath car tak chala.

"Kitne din yahan rukoge?" usne Salar se poocha.

"Ek hafta aur do din."

"Phir, hum dobara mil nahi payenge, kyunki mujhe Islamabad aur yahan aane ka
waqt agle mahine tak nahi milega. Lekin main tumhe call karunga—tumhari flight
kab hai?"

Salar ne uski baat ko ignore karte hue counter-question kiya, "Hum kyun nahi mil
sakte? Main Lahore aa sakta hoon—agar tum mujhe invite karo."

Furqan ne hairat bhari muskurahat di. Dono ne haath milaya aur Salar car mein baith
gaya. Salar ko samajh nahi aaya ke kya cheez usse Furqan ke itna qareeb le aayi thi
ya kyun usse wo itna pasand aaya—ye uske samajh se bahar tha.

Chaar din baad, wo ek din ke liye Lahore gaya. Usne Furqan ko inform kiya tha, jo
usse airport se lene ka offer diya, magar Salar ne mana kar diya.

Jaisa tay hua tha, wo 4 baje Furqan ke ghar pahucha. Furqan ek achi apartment block
ke ground floor par rehta tha. Salar ne doorbell bajayi aur intezar kiya. Ek bachay ke
darwaze ki taraf daudne ki awaaz aayi; ek paanch saal ki larki, jo security chain se
door bandhi hui thi, usne jhaank kar dekha.

"Kis se milna chahte ho?" us ne poocha. Salar ne usay dosti bhari muskurahat di
magar bachhi ne jawab nahi diya—wo bohot sanjeeda thi.

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"Bachay, mujhe tumhare Papa se milna hai." Choti ladki Furqan se itni zyada milti julti
thi ke koi shak nahi tha ke wo uski beti thi. "Papa is waqt kisi se nahi milte," us ne
maloomat di.

"Wo mujhse milenge," Salar ne is mulaqat ka lutf uthate hue kaha.

"Wo tumse kyun milenge?" jawab aya.

"Kyunke mein unka dost hoon. Agar tum ja kar unhein batao ke Salar Uncle yahan
hain, to wo aayenge aur mujhse milenge." Us ne pyar se muskurahat di, magar
bachhi mutasir nahi hui. "Magar tum mere uncle nahi ho." Salar zor se hans pada.
"Hansay nahi," us ne kaha, zahir hai ke wo naraz thi.

Salar uske samne apne ghatnon par bait gaya aur uski taraf dekhte hue bola, "Tum is
frock mein bohot achi lag rahi ho." Uski tareef ka choti sahiba par koi asar nahi hua.
"Magar mujhe tum pasand nahi ho." Uski baaton se zyada, Salar ko uska rawaya aur
jawab dene ka tareeqa pasand aaya. Us ne kisi ko darwazay ki taraf aate hue bhi
suna.

"Tumhe mein pasand kyun nahi hoon?" us ne sabr se poocha. "Bas aise hi," us ne sar
jhatkate hue jawab diya. "Aur tumhara naam kya hai?" Usne kuch dair tak Salar ko
dekha aur phir bola, "Imama!" Salar ke chehre se muskurahat gaib ho gayi. Phir,
darwazay ke chhed se, us ne Furqan ko Imama ke peechay dekhte hue dekha. Us ne
bachhi ko uthaya aur darwaza khola. Salar uth khada hua. Furqan abhi naha kar aya
tha aur uske gile baalon se pani tapak raha tha. Salar ne kamzor muskurahat di aur
apna haath barhaya.

"Aao, mein tumhara intezar kar raha tha," Furqan ne kaha aur usay andar le gaya.
Imama apne walid ke baghal mein thi, aur lagatar kuch unke kan mein kehne ki
koshish kar rahi thi magar wo usay nazarandaz kar rahe the. "Kya tumne Uncle Salar
se mil liya?" us ne poocha. "Mujhe wo pasand nahi," us ne saf saf kaha. "Yeh achi
baat nahi hai, Imama—aise mehmanon ke bare mein nahi kehte," us ne narmi se
usay samjhaya. "Ab jao aur unse haath milao." Us ne usay niche utara aur Imama
Salar ki taraf jane ke bajaye kamray se bahar bhaag gayi.

"Yeh ajeeb baat hai—uska tumhe pasand na karna. Wo mere sabhi doston se bohot
dosti se milti hai. Shayad aaj wo kuch ajeeb lag rahi hai," us ne muskurate hue
wazahat ki. "Yeh uska naam hai," Salar ne socha. "Agar wo mujhe pasand kar leti to

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mujhe hairat hoti." Unhone chai ke doran baat cheet ki aur Salar ne chalte chalte
bataya, "Do hafton mein tumhari clinic mein ek doctor hoga." "Yeh to bohot achi
khabar hai," Furqan khush ho gaya. "Aur is dafa, doctor wahan hi rahega. Agar nahi
rahta, to mujhe bata dena." "Mujhe nahi pata ke tumhara shukriya kaise ada karun—
dispensary ke liye doctor dhoondna ek bara masla tha."

"Tumhe shukriya ada karne ki zarurat nahi." Us ne ruk kar kaha, "wahan jane se
pehle, mujhe yeh umeed nahi thi ke itna zyada kaam itni munazzam tor par ho raha
hoga—mujhe tumhara kaam dekh kar waqai bohot acha laga. Mera offer ab bhi
qaim hai: tumhare project mein jitni madad kar sakoon, mein karne ko tayar hoon."
Salar sanjeeda tha.

"Salar, mein tumhe pehle bhi keh chuka hoon ke tum kisi aur gaon mein aisa hi
project shuru karo. Tumhare paas humse zyada resources aur contacts hain aur tum
ise bohot kamiyabi se chala sakte ho." "Tumhe pata hai ke meri problem time ki kami
hai—mein itna waqt nahi de sakta jitna tum dete ho, aur uske ilawa, mein Pakistan
mein nahi reh sakta. Tumhari family ke bar'aks, meri family is qism ke kisi bhi kaam
mein madadgar nahi hogi," Salar ne khol kar bataya.

"Khair, is baare mein baad mein baat karte hain. Apni chai khatam karo aur phir mere
saath chalo," Furqan ne topic badalte hue kaha.

"Kahan?"

"Mein tumhe raste mein bataunga," Furqan ne raazdari se muskurate hue jawab
diya."

---------------------------

"Main wahan kya karoon ga?" Salar ne Furqan se poocha, jab woh gari mein baitha.

"Jo main karta hoon," usne kaha, signal par gari rok kar.

"Aur tum wahan kya karte ho?" "Tum dekh lena jab wahan pahunchoge." Furqan usse
Dr. Syed Sibt-e-Ali ke paas le ja raha tha, jise woh khud milta rehta tha. Woh ek
mazhabi scholar tha aur Salar mazhabi scholars mein dilchaspi nahi rakhta tha. Pichle

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kuch saalon mein usne un jaise se bohot se dekhe the aur unka asal rang bhi dekha
tha, is liye uska in mein waqt zaya karne ka koi irada nahi tha.

"Sach bataoon Furqan, main woh nahi hoon jo tum mujhe samajhte ho," kuch dair
chup rehnay ke baad usne bola.

"Kaun sa type?" Furqan ne uski taraf dekh kar poocha.

"Wohi, jo roohani leaders aur followers ya wafadari ke kasmein waghera... jo bhi tum
iska matlab lo." Usne bohot khul kar baat ki.

"Isi liye main tumhe wahan le ja raha hoon. Tumhe madad ki zaroorat hai." Salar ne
hairani se uski taraf dekha, lekin woh sadak par dekh raha tha.

"Kaisi madad?" "Agar ek Hafiz-e-Quran, ek sipara raat ko parhne ke baad bina

sleeping pills ke nahi so sakta, to kahin na kahin kuch ghalat hai. Kuch saal pehle,
main bhi gehri udasi mein chala gaya tha. Mera zehan ek morass ban gaya tha. Phir,
kisi ne mujhe doctor sahib ke paas le gaya aur main pichle aath-das saalon se unke
paas ja raha hoon. Tum se mil kar mujhe ehsaas hua ke, mere tarah, tumhe bhi
madad chahiye - rehnumai," Furqan ne narmi se kaha.

"Tum mujhe madad kyun karna chahte ho?" "Kyunkay mera imaan mujhe kehta hai
ke tum mere bhai ho," usne mod par ghoomte hue kaha. Salar ne us se mooh phair
kar agay dekha. Us ke paas Furqan se kehne ke liye kuch aur nahi tha.

Usay mazhabi scholars mein dilchaspi nahi thi. Har scholar apni sect ko sabse uncha
dikhane mein maharat rakhta tha. Har scholar apne ilm par fakhr karta tha. Har
scholar yeh samajhta tha ke sirf woh hi acha hai aur doosre sab bure hain. Main sab
kuch janta hoon aur doosre sab naaqis hain. Har scholar ko dekh kar aisa lagta tha
ke usne ilm kitabon se nahi, balkay seedha wahiy se hasil kiya hai, jahan ghalati ki koi
gunjaish nahi. Ab tak, usne kisi scholar ko nahi dekha tha jo tanqeed bardaasht kar
sakta ho. Salar khud Sunni sect se tha, lekin woh kisi se bhi schools of thought aur
sects par baat nahi karna chahta tha, aur yeh woh pehli cheezein thi jo yeh mazhabi
scholars discuss karte. In mazhabi scholars ke paas jaate jaate, usay un se nafrat si ho
gayi thi. Unka sirf aik hi asset tha, ilm, uska amal nahi. Woh "Slander: a Sin" par
lamba lecture dete, Quranic ayat aur ahadis ka hawala dete, aur agle hi saans mein
kisi fellow religious scholar ka naam le kar uska mazaq udate, aur uski deeni
maloomat mein kami ko sabit karne ki koshish karte.

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Woh har shakhs ka bio-data maloom karte jo unke paas aata, aur agar unki dilchaspi
ka hota, to un se farmayishon aur requests ka silsila shuru hota. Aur woh bio-data ka
istemal doosron ko impress karne ke liye karte, unhe batane ke liye ke unke paas
kaun important shakhs aaya tha aur kab; kis ne unki sohbat se faida uthaya aur kaise;
kaun important shakhs un par mohtaaj hai; kis ne unhe apne ghar bulaya aur kitni
izzat aur adab se pesh aaya. Jitne scholars ke paas woh gaya tha, unmein se kisi ke
paas dobara nahi gaya, aur yahan Furqan usay ek aur aise shakhs ke paas le ja raha
tha.

Woh sheher ke achay ilake mein aa gaye the. Muqamiat izzat daar thi lekin posh
nahi. Us sadak par pehle se bohot se cars khari thi. Furqan ne gari ko curb ke paas
theek jagah par khari kar di aur niche utar gaya. Salar bhi utar gaya. Chaar paanch
mint chal kar woh aik mohtat lekin asar daar ghar tak pahunch gaye. "Dr. Syed Sibt-
e-Ali" naam ka plate likha tha.

Furqan ne baghair jhijak ghar mein dakhil ho gaya. Salar bhi peechay chala gaya.

Aik maali chhoti se lawn mein kaam mein masroof tha.

Furqan ne porch mein ek khadim se salamu dua ki aur aage barhta gaya jab tak aik
darwaze tak nahi pahunch gaya, jahan usne apni jootiyan utar di. Wahan pehle se
bohot si aur jootiyan thi. Andar se awazein aa rahi thi. Salar ne bhi apni jootiyan utar
di aur andar aik qadam peechay dakhil hotay hi poore manzar ko aik nazar mein le
liya. Woh aik wasee kamra tha, jahan carpet bicha hua tha, aur farsh par gaddiyan
thi. Kamra bohot kam asasa se saja hua tha aur deewaron par Quranic ayat ki
calligraphies thi. Wahan bees se pachis log baatein kar rahe the. Furqan ne kamray
mein dakhil hote hi sab ko buland awaaz mein salam kiya, kuch logon se mubashrat
ki aur aik khaali kone mein ja kar baith gaya.

"Dr. Sibt-e-Ali kahan hain?" Salar ne dheemi awaaz mein poocha jab uske paas
baitha.

"Woh theek aath baje dakhil honge, abhi sirf saath baje pachis minute hain," Furqan
ne usay maloomat di.

Salar idhar udhar dekhne laga aur logon ko observe karne laga. Wahan har umar ke
log the - kuch naujawaan ladke, kuch uski umar ke, kuch Furqan ki umar ke, kuch
middle-aged, aur kuch buzurg bhi. Furqan apne dayen baithay shakhs se baat cheet

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mein masroof tha. Theek aath baje, Salar ne dekha ke ek shakhs, jo 60 se 65 saal ka
hoga, ek andaruni darwaze se kamray mein dakhil hua. Uski tawako ke baraks,
kamray mein kisi ne usay khara ho kar salam nahi kiya. Us shakhs ne sab ko salam
kiya aur sab ne jawab diya. Salar ne dekha ke audience ki baithe ka tarika badal gaya
- woh scholar ki izzat mein seedhay ho gaye.

Woh hoshiyaar aur ehtiyaat se ho gaye.

Woh shakhs Dr. Sibt-e-Ali hi tha. Usne diwaar ke saath apni aam jagah sambhali, jo
shayad uske liye mukarrar thi.

Woh safed shalwar qameez mein mublis tha; uski rangat goree thi, aur apni jawani
mein, woh shayad handsome raha hoga. Uski dari bohot lambi nahi thi lekin ghani,
achi tarah se trim ki hui aur safaid aur kali mili julay rang ki thi, bilkul uske baalon ki
tarah. Uske safed baal aur dari usay ek bawaqar aur mature shakhsiyat dete the.
Usne apne dayen baithay shakhs ka hal chaal poocha jo shayad beemar raha tha.

Salar ne jaldi se uski shakal ko dekh kar andaza lagaya. Woh Furqan ke sath kamray
ke aakhri siray mein baitha tha.

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne apna dars shuru kiya. Usne bohot fasahat se ek pur-askar awaaz
mein guftagu ki. Kamray mein mukammal khamoshi thi; hamen dekhne ka bhi hosh
nahi tha. Dr. Ali ke introductory jumlat se Salar ko samajh aa gaya ke woh ek
bemisaal scholar ke samne hai.

"Insaan apni zindagi mein kai utar chadhav se guzarta hai. Kamiyaabi ki bulandiyon
se lekar nakaami ke gehraiyon tak, woh in do hadon ke darmiyan chalti rehti hai. Yeh
raasta shukar guzari ya shukranagi ka ho sakta hai. Kuch log itne naseeb walay hote
hain ke chahe woh kamiyaab hoon ya nakam, unka raasta shukar guzari ka hota hai.
Kuch doosray, apni kamiyaabiyon ya nakaamiyon ke bawajood, na-shukri ka raasta
ikhtiyar karte hain. Aur kuch log dono raste par chalte hain: jab kamiyaabi milti hai to
shukar guzar hote hain aur jab nahi milti to na-shukri karte hain.

Insaan Allah ki be-shumar makhluqat mein se ek hai: uski sab se behtareen takhleeq
lekin phir bhi sirf ek takhleeq. Unka apne Khalik par koi haqq nahi, sirf farz hain.
Insaan ko is duniya mein koi aisa record ke sath nahi bheja gaya ke jisse woh apne
Khalik se koi haqq ya mutalba kar sake. Phir bhi Allah ke ne'matein insaan par shuru
se lagatar rahmat ban kar barasti hain. Badle mein, hum se sirf shukar guzari

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maangta hai. Aap iske bare mein kya sochte hain? Jab aap kisi par ahsan karte hain,
to kya aap yeh expect karte hain ke woh isse nazar andaz kar de aur us wakt ko yaad
karaye jab aapne us par ahsan nahi kiya tha bajaye iske ke aapki mehrbani ko
tasleem kare? Ya phir woh kahe ke aapki mehrbani kaafi nahi thi, ke aap yeh ya woh
aur behtareen tarike se kar sakte the? Aapka reaction aise shakhs ke liye kya hoga?
Na sirf aap uske saath meherbani karna chahenge balki aap uske saath koi talluq
rakhna bhi nahi chahenge.

Lekin hum Allah ke sath aise hi bartao karte hain—uski ne'maton ke liye shukar ada
karne ke bajaye, hum us cheez ka shikwa karte hain jo humare paas nahi hai aur jo
hum chahte hain. Allah Rehman hai; woh Rehman hai ke woh hum par apni
ne'matein barqaraar rakhta hai. Yeh ne'matein humare aamal ke tabiat ke mutabiq
barh sakti hain ya kam ho sakti hain, lekin woh kabhi khatam nahi hoti."

Salar ghore se sunta raha.

"Na-shukri ek bemari hai, jo din ba din hamare dil ko tang karti hai, jo hamen
shikayat ke siwa kuch bolne nahi deti. Agar hum Allah ka shukar ada karne ki aadat
nahi rakhte, to hum apne doston ka bhi shukar ada karna bhool jate hain. Agar hum
apne Khalik ke diye hue ahsanat ko yaad nahi rakhte, to hum uski makhluqat ke diye
hue ahsanat ko bhi yaad rakhna nahi seekhte."

Salar ne apni aankhen band kar lein. Na-shukri ka matlab usse zyada koi nahi janta
tha. Usne Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ki taraf dobara dekha. Uska dars poore ek ghante baad
khatam hua. Kuch logon ne usse sawal poochhe; doosray ek ek kar ke uth gaye aur
chale gaye. Woh apni cars mein baith kar chale gaye. Furqan aur Salar bhi apni car
mein baith gaye aur Furqan ne ghar ka rukh kiya. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ki awaaz, uske alfaaz
Salar ke kaano mein goonj rahe the.

Ek hafte pehle, usse maloom bhi nahi tha ke Furqan kaun hai; in saath dino mein,
usne Furqan ke sath rishte ko barhane ke liye bohot saare qadam uthaye the. Ye
Salar ko hairan kar gaya kyunki woh logon se milne jhulne wala shakhs nahi tha,
lekin... kuch rishte, kuch talluq aise lagte hain ke woh oopar se taqdir shuda hote
hain—kaun, kab, kaise, kahan—kyun log milte hain aur doosron ki zindagi mein kya
tabdeeli laate hain, yeh sab pehle se taqdir mein likha hota hai.

Salar ne Lahore mein sirf ek din guzarnay ka plan banaya tha, lekin usne apni baqi
din Pakistan mein Islamabad mein nahi balki Lahore mein guzare. Har din jo woh

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wahan tha, woh Furqan ke sath Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke dars mein jaata. Usne kabhi Dr. Sibt-
e-Ali se seedha nahi mila: woh sirf dars sunta aur wapas aata.

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne apni zindagi ka behtareen hissa mukhtalif European universities

mein Islami darsiyat aur Islami tareekh padhate hue guzara tha. Woh pichle das ya
barah saalon se Lahore mein tha aur ek university se munsalik tha. Furqan ko usse
itna hi arsa maloom tha.

Jis din Salar ko Islamabad wapas jaana tha aur phir New York ke liye flight leni thi, us
din usne dars ke baad Furqan ke sath rukne ka faisla kiya. Log kamray se nikal rahe
the aur Dr. Sibt-e-Ali wahan khare ho kar sab se haath mila kar unhe rukhsat kar
rahe the. Furqan uski taraf badha aur Salar ko le gaya.

"Furqan, kaise ho? Tum bohot arse baad rukay ho," usne garam josh se kaha.

Furqan ne wazaahat di, phir Salar ka ta'aruf karaya.

"Yeh Salar Sikandar hain, mere dost."

Salar ne dekha ke uska naam sun kar Dr. Sibt-e-Ali hairan hue, lekin jaldi hi apni
ghair-halat ko sambhal liya aur muskurahat wapas aa gayi. Furqan usko Salar ke bare
mein tafseel de raha tha.

"Barah-e-karam, baithiye," Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne farsh ki taraf ishaara kiya. Woh usse thodi
door baith gaye. Furqan apne project ke bare mein guftagu karne laga, jabke Salar
chup chaap sun raha tha. Itne mein, ek khadim kamray mein dakhil hua aur Dr. Ali ne
us se kaha ke khana lagaye. Us shakhs ne khana lagaya; aisa maloom hota tha ke
Furqan wahan aksar khana khata tha. Jab unhone haath dhoye aur baith kar khana
khane lage, Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne Salar se mukhatib hua.

"Tum smile kyun nahi karte, Salar?"

Salar ne hairat se muskuraya. Is mukhtasir mulaqat mein, usne kaise andaaza lagaya
ke Salar muskurane ki aadat nahi rakhta? Usne Furqan ki taraf sheepishly dekha aur
muskurahat banaye rakhne ki koshish ki. Ye aasaan nahi tha.

"Kya mera chehra meri tamam jazbaat dikhata hai ke pehle Furqan aur ab Dr. Sibt-e-
Ali mere serious hone ka sabab jana chahte hain?" usne socha.

"Nahi, aisa nahi hai—main itna serious aur sober nahi hoon." Lag raha tha ke woh
khud ko tasalli de raha hai bajaye ke Dr. Ali ke sawal ka jawab de raha hai.

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"Umeed hai, aisa hi hai," Dr. Ali ne muskurahat ke sath kaha. Khane ke baad, unhone
rukhsat dene se pehle andar chale gaye. Wapas aaye to ek kitaab le kar aaye jo
unhone Salar ko di.

"Tum economics se taluq rakhte ho. Kuch arsa pehle, maine Islami economy par ye
kitaab likhi thi. Agar tum is kitaab ko parho aur Islami economic system ke bare mein
seekho, to mujhe khushi hogi."

Salar ne kitaab lete hue ek jaldi si nazar daali, phir Dr. Ali ki taraf mur kar dheemi
awaaz mein kaha, "Main wapas US jane ke baad bhi aapse raabta mein rehna chahta
hoon. Sirf economics nahi—aur bhi bohot kuch hai jo main aapse seekhna chahta
hoon." Dr. Ali ne uske khande par aram se haath sehlaya....

-------------------------------------

"Jo log Dr. Sibt-e-Ali Sahab ke paas jaate hain, woh sab community work mein
masroof hain. Kuch log pehle se hi shamil hote hain, aur jo nahi hote, woh unse
milne ke baad shamil ho jate hain," Furqan ne pehle mulaqat ke baad Salar ko
bataya.

"Zyada tar jo unke paas jaate hain woh bohot qualified hote hain. Woh mashhoor
institutions se taluq rakhte hain. Main bhi waise hi unke paas jana shuru kiya. London
mein unka lecture sunne ka ittefaq hua aur Pakistan wapas aane ke baad ek dost ke
zariye unse mulaqat ka mauka mila. Tab se main unke paas ja raha hoon. Mujhe
lagta hai ke ab meri zindagi ke bare mein nazariyat wazeh hain aur main zehni tor
par mazboot hoon. Tum mujhe project ke bare mein pooch rahe the. Is project mein
bhi bohot madad un logon ne di hai jo Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke paas aate hain. Unhone
bohot se sahuliyat faraham ki hain aur main akela nahi hoon jo aise projects par
kaam karta hoon. Hum ek doosre ki madad karte hain, halaan ke madad ka tareeqa
mukhtalif hota hai. Lekin maqsood ek hi hai: hum sab is mulk ko behtar banana
chahte hain."

Salar ne is par hairani se uski taraf dekha. "Ye itna asaan nahi hai," usne kaha.

"Haan, humein pata hai ke yeh asaan kaam nahi hai. Humein yeh bhi maloom hai ke
yeh sab kuch hamari zindagi mein mukammal nahi hoga, lekin hum buniyad rakhna
chahte hain jis par hamare bachay aur aanewali nasalain imarat khari kar sakein, aur
andheray mein bhatak na jayein. Kam az kam, hum is tasalli ke sath marenge ke hum

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sirf tamashaai nahi the aur, bohot se logon ki tarah, sirf dosron par tanqeed nahi
karte rahe, ungli nahi uthate rahe, aur Islam ko sirf masjid tak mehdood nahi rakha...
ke humne apni aur doosron ki zindagi mein behtari lane ki koshish ki."

Salar ne hairani se Furqan ki taraf dekha. Imama Hashim, Jalal Ansar, aur Saad ke
baad woh ek mukhtalif qisam ke Musalman ko dekh raha tha, ek practical Musalman
se mil raha tha. Ek Musalman, jo dono duniyaon se taluq rakhta tha—duniya aur
roohani—jo dono intahaaon ke darmiyan ka raasta janta tha aur jo is raaste par
chalna janta tha. Uska zehan roshan ho gaya.

"Mere offer ke bare mein kya socha?" usne Furqan se poocha.

"Main tumhe bata chuka hoon ke mujhe tumse kya chahiye. Is mulk ko tumhari
zaroorat hai; iske logon ko, iske idaaron ko tumhari zaroorat hai; tumhe yahan aakar
kaam karna chahiye."

Salar uski suggestion par halka sa hans diya. "Tum is topic ko chhor nahi sakte, kya?
Theek hai, main sochunga is bare mein, aur meri offer ke bare mein tum kya kaho
ge?"

"Meray gaon ke paas ek aur gaon hai... Uski haalat bhi meri gaon ki tarah buri thi
das ya pandrah saal pehle. Aaj kal, main kisi ko dhoond raha hoon jo wahan ek
school banaye. Wahan ek government primary school hai, lekin sirf naam ka. Behtar
hoga agar tum wahan ek school shuru karo. Mere ghar walay aur main tumhari ghair
maujoodgi mein uska khayal rakhenge. Hum usay qaim karne mein tumhari madad
bhi karenge, lekin tumhe usay khud chalana hoga, aur sirf paisa dena kaafi nahi
hoga," Furqan ne kuch soch kar kaha.

"Kya tum kal mere sath wahan chal sakte ho?" Salar ne kuch sochti hui awaz mein
poocha.

"Lekin tumhari flight kal subah hai."

"Main do din baad ja sakta hoon. Jab main chala jaoon ga, to jaldi wapas aana
mumkin nahi hoga, aur main yeh kaam shuru karna chahta hoon pehle ke main
jaoon," usne Furqan ko bataya, jo tasleem mein sar hila raha tha.

-----------------------------------------------------

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Woh raat ko Islamabad ke liye uran bhar kar seedha Furqan ke gaon gaye. Raat gaon
mein guzarne ke baad, subah seher se pehle Furqan ke sath dosre gaon ke liye
rawana ho gaye. Dopahar tak, unhone wahan ke logon se baat ki aur aas paas ka
halat dekha. Salar wahan ke school ki halat dekh kar hairan reh gaya – woh kuch bhi
tha magar school nahi tha. Furqan isse utna hairan nahi hua, kyunki woh pehle se
wahan ki haalat se waqif tha.

Furqan saal mein do ya teen dafa mukhtalif dehi ilaqon mein medical camps lagata
tha, aur woh dehi zindagi aur haalat se Salar se zyada waqif tha. Furqan ko shaam ki
flight se Lahore wapas jana tha, aur woh dopahar ke do baje ke qareeb Islamabad ke
liye nikal gaye.

-----------------------------------------------------

Jab usne school project shuru karne ka socha, to usne pehle Sikandar Usman se baat
ki. Usne mukhtasir taur par iske bare mein bataya. Sikandar ne bina rok-tok ke suna
aur phir earnest lehje mein poocha, "Tum yeh sab kyun kar rahe ho?"

"Papa, kyunki mujhe lagta hai ke in logon ko zaroorat hai…" Sikandar ne uski baat
kaat di.

"Main school ki baat nahi kar raha."

"Phir aap kis cheez ki baat kar rahe hain?" Salar hairat mein tha.

"Tumhari zindagi ke style ko kya ho gaya hai?"

"Kya ho gaya hai?" woh thoda hairan tha.

"Jab tumne Quran hifz karne ka bataya jab tumne mukammal kar liya—achha, theek
hai, maine koi raaye nahi di. Tumne Hajj par jane ki baat ki aur mujhe kuch
reservations thi lekin maine tumhe roka nahi. Tumne apni social life khatam kar di—
maine koi aitraz nahi kiya. Tum mazhab mein bohot dilchaspi le rahe ho—masjid ja
kar namaz parhte ho—maine kuch nahi kaha. Tumne America mein job karne ka
faisla kiya mere business mein shamil hone ke bajaye—maine tumhe karne diya. Aur
ab tum school banana chahte ho. Mujhe lagta hai ke humein is maamle par baat
karni chahiye." Sikandar Usman bohot sanjeeda tha.

"Kya tumhe maloom hai ke tumhara lifestyle humein hamare social circle mein
naqabool bana dega? Pehle tum ek inteha par the, aur ab doosri inteha par ho. Tum

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jis qisam ke kaam mein apne aapko shamil kar rahe ho is umar mein—26 saal ki
umar mein—woh zaroori nahi hai, irrelevant hai. Tumhe apne career par tawajjo deni
chahiye aur apni zindagi ka tareeqa badalna chahiye. Mazhab se itni lagao hamare
liye social problems paida karega." Salar chup-chaap sir jhuka kar sunta raha.

"Aur sirf hamare liye nahi, tumhare liye bhi... socho logon par kya tasur padega. Jab
hum, ya tum, tumhari shadi ka faisla karenge kisi acchi ladki se jo tumhare
background se ho, yeh religious obsession rukawat banegi. Koi bhi apni beti tumhe
sirf Sikandar Usman ke naam ya tumhari qualifications ki wajah se nahi dega. Aur
sabse bari baat, jab tumhare umar ke doosre log apne careers ko aage badha rahe
hain, tum social work mein masroof ho—UNICEF ke sath jo karte ho woh kaafi hai—
apni personal zindagi mein bhi isse shamil karne ki zaroorat nahi. Tum jo paisa is
school aur dehati logon par zaya kar rahe ho woh tumhari aanewali nasal ke liye
ikattha karna chahiye. Apne upar kharch karo—tumhe sirf ek zindagi mili hai jeene ke
liye. Tumne apne upar budhapa kyun musallat kar liya hai? Tumhara ek bura tajurba
hua—woh khatam ho gaya; tumne apna sabaq seekh liya, lekin iska yeh matlab nahi
ke tum zindagi ka lutf uthana chhor do." Usne ruk kar Salar ki taraf dekha. "Kya tum
samajh rahe ho meri baat?"

"Mainne zindagi ko mazhab ke liye nahi chhora," Salar ne kaha. "Aap balance zindagi
ki baat karte hain—bas wahi main kar raha hoon. Aapko achi tarah maloom hai ke
main apne career mein kahan khara hoon; aap meri performance se waqif hain."

"Mujhe pata hai, aur mera matlab yeh hai ke agar tum in activities mein shamil na
hote, to tum aur zyada tarakki kar sakte."

"Main aur kahin tarakki nahi kar sakta. Agar aapko lagta hai ke main yeh sab chhor
kar apne profession mein Mt Everest tak pohanch jaoon ga, to aap ghalat hain."
Usne ruk kar kaha.

"Apne mustaqbil ke bare mein socho, shadi karne ke bare mein socho. Kaun tumhe
qabool karega agar tumhara zindagi ka yeh tareeqa raha?"

"Maine socha hai, Papa. Main shadi nahi karna chahta."

Sikandar hans paray. "Yeh bachpana hai! Sab yahi kehte hain. Tumhe apne
'adventure' ko yaad rakhna chahiye," usne kaha. Salar ko maloom tha ke uska baap
kis adventure ki baat kar raha tha. Kuch dair ke liye, uske paas jawab nahi tha, yeh

307
bhi nahi keh paaya ke yeh woh adventure tha jisne is faislay tak pohanchaya. Phir
usne chupchaap kaha, "Mujhe yaad hai."

"Main pehle hi aapke social circle mein misfit hoon," usne kaha, "aur main yahan
apne liye koi jagah banane ki koshish nahi kar raha. Na hi main yeh chahta hoon ke
is circle mein koi naya rishta qaim karoon. Mujhe parwaah nahi ke doosre ya mere
apne bhai behan mujhe mazaak mein udayain ya meri lagayein banayen. Main is sab
ke liye zehni tor par tayyar hoon.

"Mujhe yeh project shuru karne dein, Papa. Mere paas is ke liye kafi funds hain—yeh
mujhe sadak par nahi laaega. Kuch log jismani tor par beemar hote hain, isliye woh
doctor ke paas jate hain ilaaj ke liye. Kuch roohani tor par beemar hote hain—woh
wahi karte hain jo main kar raha hoon, jo main karna chahta hoon. Mere paas jitna
paisa hai, main sab kuch khareed sakta hoon, lekin sukoon nahi khareed sakta. Pehli
dafa zindagi mein, main yeh paisa sukoon-e-dil hasil karne mein laga raha hoon.
Shayad, mujhe yeh mil jaye."

Sikandar Usman ko apne bete se kya kehna chahiye, yeh samajh nahi aaya.

-----------------------------------------------------

New York wapas aate hi, woh phir se apne kaam mein poori tarah masroof ho gaya.
Farq sirf itna tha ke ab woh Pakistan mein Furqan aur Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke sath musalsal
raabta mein tha. Furqan usay school ki taraqqi ke bare mein mukhtasir taur par
maloomat deta rehta. UNICEF ke liye yeh kaam uske job ka hissa tha aur is kaam ka
muawaza bhi achha milta tha. Lekin Pakistan mein yeh kaam apne resources se karna
ek mukhtalif tajurba tha.

Jo log pehle ke Salar Sikandar ko jante the, woh ab usay pehchan nahi sakte the:
usay khud bhi yaqeen nahi hota tha ke woh kabhi aisa kaam karne ka soch sakta hai.
Apne project ke liye apne account se paisa nikalte waqt, usay ehsaas hua ke yeh uski
istataat ke bilkul andar hai. Pichle teen saalon mein, uske kharche bohot kam ho
gaye the. Bahut si cheezein jin par woh pehle andha dhund paisa kharch karta tha,
ab uski zindagi ka hissa nahi thi. Apne account mein jama raqam dekh kar woh
hairan reh gaya. Woh aisa shakhs nahi tha jo paisa bachane ke liye jana jaye. Usay M

308
Phil ke liye scholarship mila tha isliye usay is silsile mein kuch kharch nahi karna
padta tha.

Apne apartment ka chakkar lagate waqt, usne dekha ke wahan koi fancy ya mehngi
cheezein nahi thi—in fact, woh kafi sade tha. Uski kitchen bhi sirf zaroori cheezon se
bhari hui thi—chai, coffee, doodh waghera, aur sab tarah ka khana nahi. Waqt aisa
tha ke woh ghar mein sirf sona ke liye aata tha.

Kaam par jaane ke liye, uske paas kafi formal kapde the aur woh is mamle mein
zyada particular bhi nahi tha. Usay achi tarah yaad tha ke usne apne liye aakhri cheez
kab khareedi thi. UNICEF ke colleagues aur kuch purane university ke doston ke
ilawa, New York mein uska zyada koi nahi tha. Shayad, usne jaan bojh kar apne social
circle ko mehdood rakha tha, aur woh bhi ek rasmi talluq tha.

Uske liye ek cheez thi jis par woh paisa kharch karta tha—kitaabein. To agar is
lifestyle ke sath uska bank balance acha tha, to yeh koi hairani ki baat nahi thi—
office, university, apartment—uske routine mein jyada aur kuch nahi tha.

-----------------------------------------------------

Jab Salar M Phil kar raha tha, usne UNICEF chhor kar UNESCO join kar liya. M Phil ke
baad, Salar ka Paris mein transfer ho gaya. Isse pehle, woh ek field office mein kaam
kar raha tha, lekin ab usay UNESCO headquarters mein kaam karne ka mauka mil
raha tha. Pichle kuch saalon mein, woh projects ke silsile mein kabhi kabhi Paris jata
rehta tha, lekin ab usay wahan lambe arse ke liye rehna tha. Woh ek jaan-pehchan ke
mahol se ek ajnabi jagah ja raha tha jahan usay zuban bhi nahi aati thi. New York
mein uske bohot se dost the, lekin yahan uska koi kareebi dost nahi tha.

UNICEF ki tarah, yahan bhi usne apne kaam mein dubki laga di, lekin jo school usne
Islamabad ke dehi ilaqe mein shuru kiya tha, woh uske zehan mein rehta. Kabhi kabhi
woh sochta ke apne kaam mein itna closely attached hone ke bawajood, usne Furqan
ki tarah school banane ka socha kyun nahi. Agar usne kuch saal pehle socha hota,
shayad aaj woh school ache se establish ho chuka hota.

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"Mujhe Pakistan se zyada mohabbat nahi hai, aur na hi mujhe is se koi khaas lagao
mehsoos hota hai," usne Furqan ko pehli mulaqat mein bataya tha.

"Kyoon?" Furqan ne us se poocha.

"Main tumhe nahi bata sakta kyun, lekin sirf yeh ke mujhe Pakistan ke liye koi khaas
jazbaat nahi hain," usne kandhe uchkate hue jawab diya.

"Is baat ke bawajood ke yeh tumhara mulk hai?"

"Haan, is baat ke bawajood."

"Tumhe America se khaas jazbaat hain—tum America se mohabbat karte ho?" Furqan
ne poocha.

"Nahi, mujhe America se bhi koi jazbaat nahi hain," usne bemani se jawab diya.

Furqan ne hairani se uski taraf dekha. "Bunyadi taur par, main qaumiat par yaqeen
nahi rakhta," usne Furqan ki hairat dekh kar wazaahat di. "Ya shayad, mujhe us jagah
se mohabbat paalna mushkil lagta hai jahan main rehta hoon. Kal agar main kisi
teesre mulk mein chala jaoon, to mujhe America bhi yaad nahi aayega."

"Tum bohot ajeeb shakhs ho, Salar!" Furqan ne kaha. "Kya yeh mumkin hai ke ek
shakhs ko apne mulk ya jahan woh rehta hai us jagah ke liye koi jazbaat na ho?"

Furqan ne uski baat ka yaqeen nahi kiya, lekin usne koi jhoot nahi bola tha. Paris
shift hone ke baad, usne New York ko bilkul miss nahi kiya. New Haven se New York
jaane par bhi usay koi adjustment problems nahi hui thi. Woh har mausam ka aadmi
tha: woh kahin bhi settle ho sakta tha.

-----------------------------------------------------

Salar Pakistan mein aik ilaqai conference mein shirkat kar raha tha jo ke United
Nations ke tehatt mun'aqid hui thi. Woh Pearl Continental mein reh raha tha. Usay
aik institute of Business Management mein lectures dene thay aur Furqan ke sath
apne school ke kuch mamlaat hal karne thay.

Yeh Lahore mein uske stay ka teesra din tha. Usne jaldi dinner kiya aur kuch kaam ke
liye hotel se bahar nikal aaya. Shaam ke saat baj kar tees minute ho rahe thay jab

310
Mall Road par uski gaari ka tire puncture ho gaya. Driver ne gaari se utar kar tyre
dekha aur phir Salar ke paas aaya aur bola, "Sir! Stepney nahi hai. Main aap ke liye
taxi laata hoon." Lekin Salar ne usay rok diya.

"Nahi, main khud taxi bula lunga," Salar ne kaha, gaari se utarte hue. Usne dekha ke
kuch taxis kuch faaslay par parking lot mein khari hain. Salar uss taraf dekh raha tha
jab aik gaari uske paas achanak ruki. Gaari ulat disha se aayi thi aur Salar ne footpath
par chalte hue usmein baithe shakhs ko foran pehchan liya.

Woh Akif tha jo driver seat se utar raha tha. Kuch saal pehle Lahore mein woh uski
zindagi ka hissa tha. Akif aur Akmal: woh zyadatar unke sath hi rehta tha, aur Akif ab
Salar se itne saalon baad mil raha tha. Usne sab ko chhod diya tha. Wapas Pakistan
ya Lahore aane par bhi usne unse raabta nahi kiya. Unhon ne baar baar usse raabta
karne ki koshish ki lekin unki koshishon ke bawajood usne unse doori banayi rakhi.
Ab, itne saalon baad, wo achanak uske samne aaya tha.

Salar bohat tension mein aa gaya. Akif ne bohat garmajoshi se uska istqbaal kiya.

"Salar! Mujhe yakeen nahi ho raha ke yeh tum ho... tum itne saalon tak kahan chupay
rahe? Tum ghaib ho gaye thay! Kahan ho tum, dost, aur yahan kya kar rahe ho? Tum
bilkul badal gaye ho - tumhare baal kahan gaye? Tum Lahore kab aaye? Tumne
mujhe bataya kyun nahi ke tum aa rahe ho?" Usne sawalon ki bochar kar di. Usne
Salar ke thanday rawayye ko nahi dekha. Salar jawab de bhi nahi paya tha ke Akif
phir bola, "Mall Road par kya kar rahe ho?"

"Gaari kharab ho gayi aur main taxi lene ja raha tha," Salar ne samjhaya.

"Tum kahan ja rahe ho, main tumhe chhod deta hoon," Akif ne garmajoshi se kaha.

"Oh nahi, main taxi le lunga - yeh bas yahin hai," Salar ne jaldi se kaha.

Akif ne uski baat nahi mani. "Chalo, andar baitho," aur usne Salar ko kheench kar
gaari mein bitha liya. Salar parishan tha lekin usne mana nahi kiya, magar usay kaafi
uljhan mehsoos ho rahi thi.

"Tum Amreeka padhai karne gaye thay, aur phir suna ke wahan naukri mil gayi. Ab
yahan Pakistan mein kyun wapas aaye ho?" Akif ne poocha, gaari chalate hue. "Tum
yahan chutti manane aaye ho?"

"Haan," usne bohot mukhtasir jawab diya taake wo khud ko nikaal sake.

311
"Aaj kal kya kar rahe ho?" Akif ne poocha, gaari chalate hue.

"United Nations ke aik agency ke liye kaam kar raha hoon."

"Yahan kahan reh rahe ho?"

"PC mein..."

"PC mein kyun? Tum mere ghar aa sakte thay ya mujhe bula sakte thay. Tum kab
aaye?"

"Kal."

"Phir tum mere saath ghar chal rahe ho. Hotel jaane ki zaroorat nahi hai."

"Nahi; main kal Islamabad wapas ja raha hoon." Salar ne asaani se jhoot bol diya-wo
Akif se chutkara pana chahta tha. Uski mojoodgi usay pareshan kar rahi thi-ya shayad
woh guzray waqt ki yaadon ki wajah se tha.

"Agar tum kal Islamabad wapas ja rahe ho to mere saath ghar chalo. Hum saath
dinner karenge," Akif ne dawat di.

"Main bas das minute pehle hi khana khaya hai."

"Phir bhi, mere saath ghar chalo. Main tumhe apni biwi se milwata hoon."

"Tumhari shadi ho gayi?"

"Teen saal pehle; aur tumhari?" Akif ne poocha. "Tumhari shadi ho gayi?"

"Nahi."

"Kyun?"

"Main thoda masroof tha, isliye," Salar ne jawab diya.

"Acha! Tum ab bhi aazad ho," Akif ne gehri saans lete hue kaha. "Tum lucky ho."
Salar ne koi jawab nahi diya. Akif, baat karte hue, glove compartment se ek cassette
nikalne ki koshish kar raha tha. Uska dhyan hatt gaya aur galti se bohot saari
cheezen Salar ki god mein aur uske paon ke paas gir gayi.

"Too bad," Akif ne kaha. Salar jhuk kar cheezen uthane laga aur Akif ne gaari ka light
on kar diya. Jab wo cheezen wapas rakh raha tha, to usne ek bijli si apne jism mein
mehsoos ki-wahan glove compartment ke ek kone mein aik joda baliyon ka pada
tha. Uske haath laraz gaye. Usne apne baaye haath se baliyon ko uthaya. Woh ab

312
uski hatti mein thi, gaari ke light mein chamak rahi thi. Wo inhe hairat se dekh raha
tha.

Kayi saal pehle, usne yeh baliyan kisi par dekhi thi. Usne unko baar baar dekha. Woh
chothi martaba dekh raha tha. Ab usse koi shak nahi raha. Yeh Imama Hashim ki
baliyan thi. Woh aankhein band karke bhi in baliyon ko bana sakta tha, har mod aur
jhukaav ke saath. Akif ne yeh baliyan Salar ke haath se uthai, jaise uske jadoo ko
toda ho, aur unhein dobara glove compartment mein rakh diya.

"Yeh baliyan...," usne haklaya, "yeh tumhari biwi ki hain?"

"Meri biwi ki?" Akif hansa. "Arey yaar, agar yeh meri biwi ki hoti, toh kya main inhein
yahan rakhta?" Salar ne usse ghurre dekha. "Phir?" usne dheemi aawaz mein pucha.

"Ek dost ladki kal raat mere saath thi. Usne yeh mere bedroom mein chor di thi. Use
jaldi mein jana pada kyunke Ruba wapas aayi thi. Maine inhein gari mein rakh diya
kyunke aaj usse milne ka irada hai," Akif ne bilkul saaf saaf bataya.

"Dost ladki?" Salar ka gala suk gaya.

"Haan, dost ladki. Woh ek red light area ki ladki hai jo ab Defence move ho gayi hai."

"Kya...kya naam hai uska?" usne pucha. "Imama kaise kisi red light area ki ladki ka
naam ho sakta hai. Shayad main ghalat hoon," usne socha, Akif ko dekhte hue.

"Sanober," Akif ne uska naam bataya. Salar ne cheezen waapis rakh di aur glove
compartment band kar diya. Usne waqai ghalti ki thi. Akif ne car ka light off kar diya.
Salar ne seat ke back par sar tikaya aur rahat ki saans li.

"Lekin yeh uska asal naam nahi hai," Akif ne kaha. "Uska asal naam Imama hai." Salar
ke dimaag mein kuch dhamaka hua, ya phir kisi ne uske kaanon mein garam seeesha
daal diya? "Kya...kya kaha tumne?" uski awaaz kaanp rahi thi. Akif steering wheel par
aage jhuka, car ke lighter se cigarette jalate hue. "Tumne kuch kaha?"

"Tum mujhe uska naam bata rahe the?"

"Haan, Imama. Kya tum usse jaante ho?" Akif ne cigarette apni ungliyon mein liya.

"Main...main...," Salar ne jawab dene ki koshish ki: uski awaaz door se aa rahi thi jaise
kisi gehri khayi se. Red Light Area woh aakhri jagah thi jahan usne Imama Hashim ko
kabhi socha bhi nahi tha. Car ke dheemi roshni mein, Akif ne Salar ka jayeza liya-

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uska peela padta chehra, uske band mutthi, uske kaanpte honth, uske be-silsila bolne
ki koshish. Akif muskuraya aur Salar ke kandhe par tasalli se haath rakha.

"Chinta mat karo yaar-tum itna pareshan kyun ho rahe ho? Woh sirf meri dost ladki
hai, bas. Yeh koi badi baat nahi agar tum dono ke darmiyan kuch ho-aakhir humne
pehle bhi bohot cheezein share ki hain, hain na?" Akif ne ma'ani khiz tarah se hansa-
phir usne jale hue maachis ko tel par phaink diya.

"Aakhir woh sirf ek ladki hi toh hai." Mall Road traffic se bhara hua tha; Akif tez gaari
chala raha tha. Salar in dono sawalon se itna bhar gaya tha ke usne react karne ke
nateeje nahi sooche, na hi ye ke uska kya hoga agar usne gaari chalanewale aadmi
ka gala daba diya. Akif ne brake lagaya aur gaari jhatke se ruki; dono dashboard se
takraye. Salar ne Akif ka collar nahi choda. Ghusse mein, Akif cheekha, "Salar, tum
kya kar rahe ho! Tum paagal ho gaye ho?" Usne Salar ko door dhakelne ki koshish ki.

"Tumhari yeh baat karne ki himmat kaise hui?" Salar gurraya. Uska haath phir Akif ke
gale par tha; Akif ghut raha tha. Ghusse aur darr mein, usne apna mukka Salar ke
chehre par mara. Salar door hat gaya, apne chehre ko dono haathon se pakad liya.
Cars unke peeche khadi thi, horn baja rahi thi ke woh raste se hat jaayein kyunke
woh beech raste mein the. Woh dono lucky thay ke heavy traffic ke beech mein
achanak braking ke bawajood, kisi gaadi ne unhein peeche se nahi takraya.

Salar seat mein dohra ho gaya, apni thodi ko dono haathon se pakade hue. Akif
hosh mein aate hi, gaadi ko ek quiet bye lane mein le gaya aur rok diya. Salar
seedha ho gaya tha, aur apne moonh aur thodi ko haath se dhak kar seedha samne
dekh raha tha. Woh ghussa jo kuch waqt pehle phata tha, ab thanda pad chuka tha.
Akif uski taraf mura. "Tumhara masla kya hai? Tumne mujh par kyun gussa nikala?
Maine kya kiya?" Baat karte waqt, usne dashboard par rakha tissue box Salar ki taraf
barhaya—usne Salar ki shirt par kuch khoon ke qatre dekhe the.

Salar ne kuch tissues nikale aur apne hont par lagi chot ko saaf karne laga.

"Ek bura accident ho sakta tha…" Akif ne kaha. Hath ponchte hue, Salar ko phir se
baliyon ka khayal aaya. Wo apne pairo ke paas unhe dhoondne laga. "Gaari
pavement par chali ja sakti thi…" Akif ki awaz dheemi pad gayi. Usne Salar ki taraf
dekha. "Tum kya dhoond rahe ho?" "Woh baliyan," usne mukhtasir jawab diya.

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Akif bohot pareshan tha. "Masla kya hai, Salar? Wo meri girlfriend hai, woh baliyan
uski hain, aur yeh mera masla hai ya uska, tumhara nahi." Salar ko apni bewakoofi ka
ehsaas hua. Wo seedha baith gaya, aur tissue ko phekte hue bahar dekhne laga. Wo
ghutan mehsoos kar raha tha. Akif usay dekhta raha, uske chehre par pareshani thi.
"Tum aur Sanober…"

Akif ehtiyat se shuru kiya. Usay puri tarah se samajh nahi aaya ke uske aakhri jumlon
mein aisa kya tha jo Salar ko itna gussa dilaya, aur wo kuch aisa kehna nahi chahta
tha jo phir se usay bhadka de. "Mujhe maaf kar do," Salar ne kaha jab Akif ruka.

"Teek hai, koi baat nahi," Akif kuch had tak pursukoon mehsoos kar raha tha. "Tum
aur Sanober…" wo phir ruka. "Tumne kaha tha uska naam Imama tha." Salar uski taraf
dekha. Uski aankhon mein jo nazar aaya wo Akif ko darane wala tha—wo aam se
bohot door tha. Uski aankhon mein darr, be-basi, dehshat—har qism ke izharat thay.
"Haan, usne mujhe kabhi bataya tha, jab wo apne bare mein baat kar rahi thi… tab."

"Kya tum mujhe uska haal bata sakte ho?" Salar ne kumzor si umeed se poocha.

"Haan, kyun nahi?" Akif thoda pareshan tha. "Bohot khoobsurat, lambi, gore rang
ki…" wo nahi janata tha kaise aage bataye. "Uski aankhein kaali hain aur uske baal
pehle kaale hote the… ab wo rangti hai. Aur kya bata sakta hoon?" wo bechain ho
raha tha. Salar ne apni aankhein band kar lein aur apna chehra mod liya. Usay
barhati hui ghutan mehsoos ho rahi thi. Bahar dekhte hue, usne dheere se kaha, "Kya
uska naam Imama Hashim hai?"

------------------------------------

"Mujhe nahi pata. Usne mujhe apne walid ka naam nahi bataya, aur maine poocha
bhi nahi," Akif ne jawab diya.

"Wo Imama Hashim hai," Salar ne dheere se kaha. Uska chehra udas ho gaya. "Yeh
sab meri wajah se hai—main zimmedar hoon."

"Kis cheez ke zimmedar ho?" Akif ko tajjub hua. Salar samnay dekhte hue chup raha.
Kuch dair baad, Akif ki taraf dekh kar bola, "Mujhe usse milna hai. Abhi."

Akif kuch dair tak usay ghurta raha, phir dashboard se mobile utha kar call milane
laga. Kuch der tak koshish karta raha; aakhir mein kandhe uchkaate hue bola, "Uska
mobile band hai. Mujhe nahi pata wo ghar par hai ya nahi, kyunki andhera ho raha

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hai aur wo…" Akif ne baat adhoori chhor di aur ignition on kar diya. "Lekin main
tumhe uske ghar le jana chahta hoon."

Aadha ghanta baad wo dono Defence mein ek ghar ke samnay kharay thay.

Wahan pohanchne tak dono ne koi baat nahi ki. Akif ab is pal ko kos raha tha jab
usne Salar ko lift di thi. Kuch dair baad horn bajane par ek shakhs bahar aaya. Wo
chowkidar tha.

"Sanober ghar par hai?" Akif ne bechaini se poocha.

"Nahi, Bibi Sahiba ghar par nahi hain."

"Wo kahan hain?"

"Mujhe nahi pata." Akif ne Salar ki taraf dekha, phir gaari ka darwaza khol kar bola,
"Yahan intezar karo. Main kuch dair mein wapas aata hoon." Akif chowkidar ke sath
ghar ke andar chala gaya.

Dus minute baad wapas aaya.

"Tum usse baat karna chahte ho?" usne gaari mein wapas aate hi poocha.

"Mujhe usse milna hai." Akif ne phir se ignition on kar diya.

Phir se dono khamoshi mein safar kar rahe thay. Raat ke nau baj rahe thay jab wo
Red Light Area pohanche. Yeh jagah Salar ke liye nayi nahi thi. Sirf dard naya tha jo
ab wo mehsoos kar raha tha.

"Aaj wo yahan hai. Kisi ne yahan se kuch larkiyan kisi function ke liye book ki hain,
aur wo unke sath ja rahi hai," Akif ne samjhaya, gaari se utarte hue.

"Tum bhi utar jao kyunki hume andar tak jana padega. Main Sanober ko yahan
tumse milane nahi la sakta!" Salar ne bhi utar kar Akif ke sath chalna shuru kar diya.

Wo phir se un galiyon mein chalne laga. Usay ache se yaad tha jab wo pehli baar
aise maqam par aya tha. Kuch bhi nahi badla tha: insani jism waise hi chori chhupe
becha ja raha tha.

Usay yeh bhi ache se yaad tha jab wo pehli baar yahan aya tha. Us waqt wo athara
saal ka tha—aur phir wo yahan kayi martaba aya tha. Kabhi dance dekhne, kabhi kisi
mashhoor adakara ka performance dekhne, kabhi un adhi-nangi auraton ko dekhne
jo darwazon, khidkiyon ya chhat ki balconies se jhank rahi hoti thi.

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(Usay ajeeb si khushi mehsoos hoti thi, in galiyon se guzar kar. Wahan, wo kisi bhi
larki ko, chahe wo kaisi bhi dikhti ho, kuch ghanton ke liye khareed sakta tha. Uske
wallet mein rakhe not usay kisi bhi larki ka pura malikan bana dete. Duniya ko apni
mutthi mein rakhne ka ehsaas aur kya hota hai? Usay fakh hota.)

Aur kabhi kabhi, wo wahan raat guzarne jata tha un auraton ke sath, jinko wo nafrat
karta tha—auraten, jo apne jism ko chand rupaye ke liye bech deti thi. Usay unke liye
sirf nafrat mehsoos hoti thi. Lekin unhe khareedta tha kyunki wo afford kar sakta tha.
Athara ya unnis saal ka hote hue bhi, wo yaqeen rakhta tha ke wahan koi bhi aisi
aurat nahi thi jiske sath wo samaji rabta, khoon ka rishta, ya pyar kar sakta tha.

Uski maa aur behan elite class ki member thi. Uski biwi bhi usi elite background se
aani thi aur uski beti bhi.

Lekin Red Light Area ki auratein… wo is maqsad ke liye paida hui thi. Wo is baat ka
pakka tha. Wo unse itni nafrat karta tha—apni tanch gardan, uthi hui thodi, aur uthti
hui bhawen ke sath.

Aur ab… kismat ne uske sath kya kar diya? Wo aurat jo kabhi saat pardo mein chhupi
thi, jise wo kisi aur mard ke chhune ka soch bhi nahi sakta tha, ab is bazar mein thi.
Uske kuch kadam aage uska grahak tha aur Salar Sikandar apna munh bhi nahi khol
sakta tha, awaz bhi nahi utha sakta tha, etiraz bhi nahi kar sakta tha. Wo kisi se kya
keh sakta tha? Kya wo Khuda se pooch sakta tha ke ye sab uske sath kyun hua?
Usne kya galat kiya tha?

Usne apne hont kaat liye. Wo kaise apni kaampan roke? Kya koi shakhs jo in galiyon
mein aata hai, puri yaqeen se keh sakta hai ke uski family ka koi bhi member kabhi is
bazar mein kaam nahi karega? Kya uski maa, behan, biwi, beti, pothi, ya aane wali
naslon mein se koi yahan kabhi nahi aayegi?
Salar Sikandar bol nahi pa raha tha. Imama Hashim uski biwi thi, ek upper class aurat,
jo kabhi bhi is jagah se taluq nahi rakh sakti thi. Salar Sikandar ko phir se aisa laga
jaise wo Margalla Hills ki andheri mein darakht se bandha hua ho. Usay bohot zyada
udaasi mehsoos ho rahi thi.

"Sahib! Mere paas har umar ki larkiyan hain. Is jagah ki behtareen larkiyan aur daam
bhi zyada nahi hain," ek aadmi uske sath chalne laga.

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"Main yahan is maksad ke liye nahi aya," Salar ne dheemi awaz mein bina us aadmi
ki taraf dekhe kaha.

"Sharab ya nasha chahiye? Main tumhe jo chahiye woh de sakta hoon." Akif ne apne
qadam rok kar us aadmi ko sakhti se tok diya, "Ek baar keh diya ke hume kuch nahi
chahiye, phir kyun peechha kar rahe ho?" Aadmi ruk gaya. Salar chupchaap aage
barhta raha. Uske dimagh mein toofan macha hua tha. Kab, kyun, aur kaise Imama
Hashim yahan pohanchi? Guzashta wakt jaise film ki tarah uske samne ghoom gaya.

"Please, ek baar uske paas jao... sirf ek baar, aur usse mere baare mein sab kuch
batao, usse kehdo mujhe shaadi kar le. Mujhe usse kuch nahi chahiye, sirf uska naam.
Agar tum usse Nabi (pbuh) ke naam par guzarish karoge, to wo mana nahi karega.
Wo Nabi (pbuh) se bohot mohabbat karta hai," usne kai saal pehle suna tha jab wo
bistar par lete hue chips kha raha tha.

"Waise, tumhara Imama ke sath kya taluq hai?" Jalal ko tajjub hua tha.

"Imama... Imama aur main bohot qareebi aur purane dost hain." Jalal Ansar ke chehre
par pareshani thi. Salar ko ajeeb si khushi mehsoos hui. Wo andaza laga sakta tha ke
Jalal uske aur Imama ke baare mein kya soch raha tha.

"Usse saaf saaf kehdo ke main usse shaadi nahi karunga." Usne chaaha tha ke wo
Imama ka chehra dekhe jab Jalal Ansar ka paigham usay sunaya jaye. Usne phone
par Imama ko Jalal ka jawab diya tha jab wo gum se bubbles phoda raha tha.

"Tumne mujhe itne ahsaan kiye hain, ek aur kar do. Mujhe talaaq de do," usne baad
mein phone par guzarish ki thi.

"Aray nahi! Main tumhare ahsaan karte karte thak gaya hoon, ab aur nahi kar raha.
Aur yeh ahsaan? Yeh to na mumkin hai," usne jawab diya tha. "Agar tumhe talaaq
chahiye, to court jao aur hasil kar lo, lekin main tumhe talaaq nahi doonga." Salar ko
zor se sans lene mein mushkil ho rahi thi.

"Haan, maine yeh sab kiya tha, lekin maine uske Jalal Ansar ke bare mein jo ghalat
fehmiyan thi, unhe door kar diya tha. Maine usse sab kuch bataya tha; maine usse
kuch nahi chupaya. Yeh sirf ek mazak tha, ek prank. Maine nahi chaaha tha ke Imama
ke sath yeh sab ho. Yeh sach hai ke maine uske sath ghalti ki usko talaaq na de kar,
lekin... lekin... lekin maine nahi chaaha tha ke wo yahan phas jaye. Maine... maine
usse ghar chhorne se roka tha. Maine, sirf mazak mein, lekin madad ka offer bhi kiya

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tha. Maine usay yahan nahi laya. Koi mujhe is sab ke liye zimmedar nahi thehra
sakta." Wo apni zameer ko samjha raha tha jaise wo adalat mein ho. Uska dimagh
sun ho gaya tha. Usne ruk kar apne kanpatiyon ko malna shuru kar diya—wo phir se
migraine ke attack ke aaghaaz ka ehsaas kar raha tha. Dard kam hua. Usne apni
aankhein kholi aur teedi gali ko dekha. Yeh ek andhi gali thi—kam az kam uske liye
aur Imama Hashim ke liye. Usne aage qadam barhaya. Akif ek multi-storied ghar ke
samne ruk gaya aur usne Salar ki taraf dekha.

"Yeh hai wo ghar." Salar ka chehra rang se khali ho gaya. Kitna aage hisaab lena baqi
tha?

"Hume oopar wali manzil par jana hai, Sanober wahan hogi." Yeh keh kar, Akif ne
andheri aur tang sihrhiyon par charhna shuru kar diya. Salar pehle hi kadam par
ladkhada gaya; Akif uski taraf mur kar dekha aur ruk gaya.

"Dhyan se, sihrhiyon ki halat achi nahi hai. Aur yeh log itna bhi khayal nahi rakhte ke
ek bulb laga dein." Salar seedha hua aur deewar ka sahara le kar agla qadam rakha.
Yeh sihrhiyan tedhi thi aur itni tang ke ek waqt mein sirf ek shakhs guzar sakta tha.
Cement bhi utra hua tha. Boots pehne hue bhi usay unki kharaabi mehsoos ho rahi
thi. Deewar ka cement jise wo sahara le raha tha wo bhi utar chuka tha. Salar andhon
ki tarah deewar ko mehsoos karte hue sihrhiyan chadne laga.

Pehli manzil par khuli darwaze se aane wali roshni ne uski madad ki. Akif wahan nahi
tha. Wo zaroor darwaze ke through aage nikal gaya hoga. Salar ek lamha ke liye ruka
aur wo bhi us paar chala gaya. Ab wo ek balcony mein tha. Ek taraf kayi kamron ke
darwaze thay. Dusri taraf, neeche gali nazar aa rahi thi. Yeh baramdah jaisa balcony
bilkul khali tha. Wahan khare ho kar, sab kamron ke darwaze band nazar aa rahe
thay. Wo samajh nahi pa raha tha ke Akif kahan gaya tha. Bohot ehtiyaat se, aage
barhta jaise yeh jagah bhoot bangla ho. Usay laga ke kisi bhi waqt ek darwaza khul
sakta hai aur achanak Imama Hashim uske samne aa sakti hai. "Ya Allah! Main... main
yahan uska samna kaise karunga?" Uska dil doob gaya.

Wo chalte hue band darwazon ko dekh raha tha, jab baramdah ke aakhir mein ek
darwaza khula aur Akif wahan se nikla. "Tum kahan thay?" usne wahan se zor se
awaaz di. "Yahan ao."

Salar jaldi se gaya, lekin darwaze par pohanchne se pehle ek lamha ko ruk gaya.
Usay apne dil ki dhadkan sunai de rahi thi. Usne apni aankhein band ki, thandi haath

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ke mujhke, aur kamre mein dakhil hua. Usne dekha ke Akif ek kursi par baitha tha, ek
larki se baat kar raha tha, jo apne baal sanwaar rahi thi.

"Yeh Imama nahi hai!" usne hairani se kaha.

"Of course, this is not Imama—wo andar hai. Aao." Akif uth kar dusre kamre ka
darwaza kholne laga. Salar ladkhadate qadmon se uske peechay chala.

Akif ne dusra kamra bhi paar kiya aur ek aur darwaza khol kar teesre kamre mein
dakhil ho gaya. "Hello, Sanober!" Salar ne Akif ko door se awaz dete suna. Uska dil
uske moonh mein aa gaya. Ek lamha ke liye, usne wahan se bhagne ka mann kiya...
foran... andha-dhund, bina dekhe... is ghar se... is ilake se... is sheher se... is mulk se...
kabhi wapas na aane ke liye. Usne apna sir ghuma kar apne saath wale darwaze ko
dekha.

"Under aao, Salar," Akif ne awaz di. Uska chehra phira hua tha, wo ek larki se baat
kar raha tha. Salar ne mushkil se thook nigla, uska gala sukh gaya tha. Wo aage
barha. Akif ne uske peechay kadmon ki awaz suni aur raste se hat gaya. Salar
darwaze mein tha. Wo kamre ke aakhir mein khadi thi.

"Yeh Sanober hai," Akif ne uska ta'aruf karaya. Salar ki nazar us se hat nahi rahi thi.
Wo bhi usay dekh rahi thi.

"Imama?" usne uski taraf dekha, bilkul be-harakat.

"Haan, yeh Imama hai," Akif ne tasdeeq kiya.

Salar guthno ke bal zameen par gir gaya. Akif pareshan tha. "Kya hua, kya hua?"
Salar, apna sir pakad kar zameen par tha. Wo pehli baar tha jo kisi rand se sajda kar
raha tha. Akif, jhuk kar, Salar ke kandhe ko hila raha tha, jo sajde mein bache ki tarah
ro raha tha.

"Pani... Pani, kya main pani le aoon?" Sanober ne fikar se kaha. Jaldi se, usne bistar ke
pas rakhe jug se ek glass pani bhar kar laya aur Salar ke pas baith gayi.

"Salar Sahib! Pani pee lo." Salar achanak se seedha baith gaya, jaise usme bijli daal di
gayi ho. Uska chehra aansuon se bhiga hua tha. Bina kuch kahe, usne apni jeans se
wallet nikala aur usme se banknotes nikal kar uske samne rakhne laga. Chand
lamhon mein, uska wallet khali tha, bas credit card bacha tha. Phir, bina kuch kahe,

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wo khara hua aur kamre se bahar nikal gaya, darwaze par ladkhada gaya. Akif, hairan,
uske peechay gaya.

"Salar! Salar! Kya hua? Kya hua? Kahan ja rahe ho?" Usne Salar ke kandhe ko
pakadne ki koshish ki, lekin usne deewano ki tarah mukabla kiya.

"Mujhe akela chhor do, mujhe mat chuo; bas mujhe jane do!" usne cheekh kar, hista
hista roti hue kaha.

"Tum Imama se milne aye thay," Akif ne usay yaad dilane ki koshish ki.

"Wo Imama nahi hai, wo Imama Hashim nahi hai!"

"Thik hai, lekin tumhe mere sath chalna padega."

"Main chala jaoonga, main khud chala jaoonga. Mujhe tumhari zaroorat nahi." Usne
khud ko chhudaya aur kamre se bhaag gaya. Akif ne kuch kaha. Wo pareshan tha.
Wo wapas Sanober ki taraf muda, jo ab bhi notes ke dhair ko hairani se dekh rahi
thi.

-----------------------------------------------

Sidhiyan ab bhi andheri thi, lekin jis zehni halat mein wo tha, usay kisi deewar ka
sahara zaroori nahi tha, na hi koi roshni. Wo andheri sidhiyon se andha-dhund
bhagte hue gir gaya. Agar sidhiyan seedhi hoti, to wo seedha neeche tak gir jata,
lekin tedhi sidhiyon ne uska girna roka. Wo phir se andhere mein uth khada hua.
Ghutnon aur tukhon mein dard ko nazarandaz karte hue, usne phir se sidhiyon se
niche utarne ki koshish ki. Kuch minute ke baad, uska chhalang lagate hue zameen
par utarna hua. Iss baar, uska sir bhi deewar se takra gaya. Usay naseeb tha ke koi
haddi nahi tooti. Agar utarne ke liye aur sidhiyan baaqi hoti, to shayad wo phir se
sidhiyon se niche utarne ki koshish karta, lekin dusri dafa girne se wo seedha neeche
ki sidhiyon par aaya. Usay aage sadak ki roshni nazar aa rahi thi. Wo sidhiyon se utar
gaya, lekin aage nahi chal saka. Magar, usne kuch qadam liye aur ghar ke bahar choti
deewar par baith gaya. Usay ulti si mehsoos ho rahi thi.

Apna sir pakad kar, usay ulti ki tarang mehsoos hui aur wo jhuk gaya. Wo be inteha
ro raha tha jab wo baar baar ulti kar raha tha.

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Sadak par guzarte logon ke liye yeh kuch naya nahi tha. Yahan, jo zyada sharab pee
lete ya jo zyada nasha kar lete, wo aise hi haalat mein hote the. Sirf uski libas aur
shakl usay kuch izzat de rahi thi, aur uske aansu aur faryaad shayad uske upar jo
upar uski mehbooba ne thukra diya uska jawab the. Wahan, aise izzatdaar mardon ko
apne dil ka haal rone dekha ja sakta tha.

Yeh bazaar har kisi ke liye mozoon nahi hota. Guzarne wale muskurate hue guzarte.
Koi uske paas nahi aaya. Is bazaar mein kisi aur ke haal chaal poochne ki riwayat
nahi thi.

Akif neeche nahi aya. Agar wo aata, to shayad ruk jata. Imama Hashim wahan nahi
thi. Sanober Imama Hashim nahi thi. Kitna bada bojh uske seene se uth gaya, kitni
takleef se usay nijat mili. Dard se nahi, balki uski agahi se usay pata chala. Usay
wahan na paane se wo is halat mein tha. Agar wo wahan hoti, to kya hota? Usay
Allah se bohot zyada darr lag raha tha. Wo Qadir hai, wo kya nahi kar sakta? Wo
Rehman hai, wo kya rehmat nahi barsata? Wo insaan ko insaaniyat mein rakhna
jaanta hai - kabhi saza se, kabhi inayat se. Wo usay insaaniyat tak mehdood rakhna
jaanta hai.

Salar ne kabhi pehle itna pachtawa, itni nadamat mehsoos nahi ki thi, jitni ab is
andhere bab mein mehsoos kar raha tha. "Kyun? Kyun... kyun main yahan aaya? Kyun
main in auraton ko kharida...? Kyun maine gunah ka ehsaas nahi jagaya?" usne sadak
ke kinare baith kar, apna sir pakad kar faryaad ki. Aur ab... ab, jab maine yeh sab
chhor diya hai, to kyun... kyun ab... yeh dard, kyun ab mehsoos ho raha hai? Mujhe
pata hai ke mujhe apne sab aamal ka jawab dena hoga... Lekin Oh! Khuda, mujhe
yahan hisaab mat lena... is tareeke se nahi. Is bazaar ko meri mohabbat ko mat
dena." Usne rona band kar diya—ehsaas us par utar aya aur wo bhi, kahan aur kaise!

"Mohabbat?" usne be-yaqeen hote hue kaha, guzarte logon ko dekhte hue. "Kya
main... kya main us se mohabbat karta hoon?" Usne kaanp gaya. "Kya main yeh dard
sirf is liye mehsoos kar raha hoon... Kya yeh pachtawa hai, ya kuch aur...?" usne
socha. Usay laga ke wo kabhi wahan se uth nahi payega. "To yeh pachtawa nahi, yeh
mohabbat hai, jo main talash raha hoon." Usne bilkul bejaan mehsoos kiya. "Kya
Imama mere dil mein ek kaanta thi ya ek junoon?" Aansoo ab bhi uske gaalon par
beh rahe the. "Aur is bazaar mein is aurat ko dhoondte hue, mere qadam is liye
kaamp gaye ke mere dil ke kone mein maine usay ek bohot oonchi jagah par rakha

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tha—ek jagah, itni oonchi, ke main usay khud nahi dhoond saka. Check mate!" 150+
IQ wala aadmi zameen par munh ke bal gira diya gaya tha. Usne phir se be inteha
roona shuru kar diya. Kaunsi chot thi jo phir se taazgi thi? Kaunsi takleef thi jo usay
ghutan de rahi thi? Uske zameer ne usay kya diya, kya cheena? Wo uth kar chalne
laga, rote hue. Us par koi ikhtiyar nahi tha.

Usay guzarte logon ki nazron ki parwa nahi thi. Kabhi usne apne wujood se itni
nafrat nahi ki jitni ab kar raha tha. Yeh Red Light Area uske zindagi ka sabse andhera
bab tha. Itna andhera ke wo usay apni zindagi se mitane mein nakaam tha. Yeh
wapas aakar uski zindagi mein phir se jagah bana gaya tha. Jin raaton ko usne kuch
saal pehle wahan guzar diya tha, unhone usay manhoosiyat se gher liya tha; wo unse
bach nahi pa raha tha, aur jo darr ab usay ghera tha... "Agar... agar waqai Imama is
bazaar mein aayi hoti... Sanober Imama Hashim nahi hai, lekin koi aur hai..." Uske sar
mein dard ki lehar uth gayi. Migraine badh raha tha. Uska dimagh jawab de raha tha
aur wo sadak ko theek se dekh nahi pa raha tha. Uska sar dard se phat raha tha aur
wo kahi baith gaya. Traffic ki roshni aur horn bajne se uska sar aur zyada dard karne
laga, aur phir uska dimagh andheron mein doob gaya.

----------------------------------

Kisi ne halki si hasi ki aur phir kuch kaha... ek aur awaz ne jawab diya. Dheere dheere,
Salar Sikandar hosh mein aa raha tha. Wo bohot thaka hua tha, lekin awazein
pehchan sakta tha. Dheere se, usne apni aankhein kholi. Usay hairani nahi hui. Usay
wahan hi hona chahiye tha jahan wo tha: kisi hospital ya clinic ke bistar par, ek bohot
naram aur aramda bed. Thodi door, Furqan doctor se ahista ahista baat kar raha tha.
Salar ne gehri saans li. Furqan aur doosra doctor, baat karte hue, uski taraf mure aur
phir uske paas aye. Salar ne phir se apni aankhein band kar li. Uske liye aankhein
khuli rakhna mushkil ho raha tha.

Furqan aya aur uske seene par halka sa haath rakha.

"Kaisa mehsoos kar rahe ho, Salar?" Salar ne aankhein kholi. Usne muskurane ki
koshish nahi ki. Usne kuch palon ke liye usay be-hoshi mein dekha.

"Teek...," usne jawab diya.

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Doosra doctor uski nadi check kar raha tha.

Salar ne phir se apni aankhein band kar li. Furqan aur doosra doctor apni guftagu jari
rakhi. Usay ismein koi dilchaspi nahi thi; asal mein, us waqt, usay kisi cheez mein koi
dilchaspi nahi thi. Baqi sab kuch waise hi tha: uska pachtawa, uska dard, Akif,
Sanober... Imama... Red Light Area—sab kuch waisa hi tha. Usne dua ki ke kaash wo
kuch aur waqt ke liye hosh mein na aata.

"To, Salar Sahib, kuch tafseel se baat karein?" Furqan ki awaaz sun kar usne apni
aankhein kholi. Furqan bistar ke paas stool par baitha tha. Doosra doctor kamre se
chala gaya tha. Salar ne apni taangen seedha karne ki koshish ki. Ek dard bhari
cheekh uske munh se nikli. Uske tukhon aur ghutnon mein bohot dard ho raha tha.
Uski taangen kambal se dhaki thi aur wo unhe dekh nahi sakta tha, lekin usay pata
tha ke uske ghutne bandaged hain. Wo apne kapdon mein nahi tha, balki hospital ke
kapdon mein tha.

"Kya hua?" Salar ne mooh bana kar kaha jab usne apni taang seedha ki.

"Tumhara tukhna sprain ho gaya hai, dono ghutne aur panjey chotil hain aur soojh
gaye hain, lekin khush qismati se koi fracture nahi hua. Haath aur kohni bhi chotil
hain, aur dobara khush qismati se, koi fracture nahi. Sir ke peeche ek choti si chot hai
jo kuch khoon nikal rahi thi, lekin CT scan ke mutabiq koi serious chot nahi. Seene
par bhi, kuch kharashon ki wajah se halka se zakhm hain. Lekin, tumhare sawal ke
jawab mein, ke kya hua, sirf tum hi bata sakte ho," Furqan ne ek mahir doctor ki
tarah kaha. Salar ne chupchaap uski taraf dekha.

"Shuru mein, maine socha ke migraine ka attack itna severe tha ke tum behosh ho
gaye, lekin check karne ke baad mujhe pata chala ke aisa nahi tha. Kya kisi ne tum
par hamla kiya?" usne fikar se poocha. Salar ne gehri saans li aur na mein sir hila
diya. "Tumhare paas kaise pohncha? Ya phir, main yahan kaise aaya?"

"Maine tumhe mobile par call kiya, lekin tumhare bajaye kisi aur ne phone uthaya.
Wo tumhare sath footpath par tha. Ek acha aadmi—wo tumhe hosh mein lane ki
koshish kar raha tha. Usne mujhe tumhari halat ke bare mein bataya to maine usay
kaha ke tumhe taxi mein kareeb hospital le jaye, jo usne kiya. Phir main wahan
pohncha aur tumhe yahan laya."

"Ab kya waqt ho raha hai?"

324
"Subah ke lagbhag chhe baj rahe hain. Sameer ne tumhe kal raat painkillers diye the,
isliye tum ab tak so rahe thay."

Furqan ne baat karte waqt mehsoos kiya ke Salar ko uski baat mein koi dilchaspi
nahi thi. Uske aankhon mein ek thanda lagav tha, jaise wo kisi teesre shakhs ke bare
mein bata raha ho.

"Mujhe phir se kuch do..." Salar ne shuru kiya, mehsoos karte hue ke Furqan bolna
band kar chuka tha. Usne apni aankhein band kar li, aur phir ruk gaya, yaad karne ki
koshish karte hue. "Haan, mujhe koi tranquilizer do. Main lambi neend sona chahta
hoon."

"Zaroor, tumhe sona chahiye, lekin pehle mujhe batao kya hua tha."

"Kuch nahi." Salar ne sawal ko taal diya. "Migraine, jaisa tumne pehle hi guess kiya—
aur main footpath par gir gaya aur chot kha li."

Furqan ne ghor se uski taraf dekha. "Kuch khane ka le lo..."

Salar ne usay beech mein tok diya. "Nahi... mujhe... mujhe bhook nahi lag rahi.
Mujhe... koi goli, koi injection, kuch bhi do... main bohot thaka hua hoon."

"Islamabad mein tumhare log..."

Salar ne usay jumla mukammal nahi karne diya. "Nahi, unhe mat inform karo. Jab
main aram kar loonga, to main khud Islamabad jaoonga."

"Is halat mein?"

"Tumne kaha ke main teek hoon."

"Tum teek ho, lekin utne nahi. Kuch din Lahore mein aram karo. Phir ja sakte ho."

"Teek hai; lekin Papa aur Mummy ko mat inform karo."

Furqan ne uski taraf dekha, kuch pareshan. "Kuch aur?"

"Tranquilizer..."

Furqan ne soch vichar se uski taraf dekha. "Kya main tumhare sath rukoon...?"

"Kya faida? Main thodi der mein so jaoonga. Tum jao. Main tumhe uth kar call kar
loonga."

325
Usne apne haath ko apni aankhon par rakh liya. Uska sakt rawaya aur thanda mizaj
Furqan ki fikar badha raha tha. Salar ka rawaya bohot ghair mamooli tha.

"Main Sameer se baat karta hoon, lekin agar tumhe tranquilizer chahiye, to pehle
tumhe kuch khana padega," Furqan ne no-nonsense andaz mein kaha, uthte hue.
Salar ne apna haath apni aankhon se nahi hataya.

Jab wo jaaga, to lagbhag shaam ho gayi thi. Kamra khali tha. Koi aur wahan nahi tha.
Jismani tor par, wo subah se bhi zyada thaka hua mehsoos kar raha tha. Usne
kambal apni taangon se hata diya aur apne baayen tukhne aur ghutnon mein tez
dard ko nazarandaz karte hue apni taangen seedha ki. Usay ajeeb si ghutan mehsoos
ho rahi thi, jaise koi uska seena daba raha ho.

Wo chhat ko ghoor raha tha jab ek khayal uske dimagh mein aya.

--------------------------------------------

Wo hotel wapas aaya aur apni cheezen bandhne laga jab Furqan ne darwaza
khatkhataya. Salar ne darwaza khola. Usne Furqan ko dekh kar hairani hui. Usne nahi
socha tha ke Furqan itni jaldi uske peechay aa jayega.

"Yaar, tum ajeeb aadmi ho, Salar...," Furqan ne foran usay daantna shuru kiya. "Bina
kisi ko bataye, tum Sameer ke clinic se nikal gaye. Tumne mujhe pareshan kar diya,
aur is par tumne mobile bhi band rakha."

Salar ne kuch nahi kaha. Wo langraate hue wapas apne bag ke paas gaya, jisme wo
apni cheezen bandh raha tha.

"Tum ja rahe ho?" Furqan ne bag dekh kar hairani se kaha.

"Haan...!" Salar ne ek lafz ka jawab diya.

"Kahan...?" Salar ne bag band kiya aur bistar par baith gaya.

"Islamabad?" Furqan aakar uske samne sofa par baith gaya.

"Nahi," Salar ne uski taraf dekhte hue jawab diya.

"Phir...?" "Main Karachi ja raha hoon."

"Kis liye?" Furqan ne hairani se poocha.

326
"Meri flight hai."

"Paris ke liye?" "Haan...!"

"Tumhari flight to chaar din baad hai, abhi wahan ja kar kya karoge?" Furqan usay
dekhne laga. Sameer ne sahi kaha tha. Uska izhar bohot ajeeb, ghair mamooli tha.

"Mujhe wahan kuch kaam hai."

"Kya kaam?" jawab dene ke bajaye, wo bistar par ghurta raha, usay dekhte hue.

Furqan psychologist nahi tha, lekin usay samne baithe shakhs ki aankhein parhne
mein koi mushkil nahi ho rahi thi. Salar ki aankhein khaali thi. Wo bas thandi thi, jaise
wo kisi ko nahi jaanta, na hi apne aap ko. Wo depression mein tha. Furqan ko ismein
koi shakk nahi tha, lekin usay nahi pata tha ke uska depression usay kahan le ja raha
tha.

"Masla kya hai, Salar?" usne poocha bagair ruk nahi saka.

Ek pal ke baad, Salar ne kandhe uchkaye, "Mujhe koi masla nahi."

"Phir..." Salar ne Furqan ko beech mein roka.

"Tumhe pata hai ke mujhe migraine hai, aur kabhi kabhi aisa hota hai."

"Main doctor hoon, Salar!" Furqan ne dil se kaha. "Koi migraine ko mujh se behtar
nahi samajhta. Yeh sab sirf migraine ke wajah se nahi tha."

"To, tum mujhe batao ke aur kya wajah ho sakti hai," Salar ne sawal se jawab diya.

"Kisi larki ka masla hai?" Furqan ki samajh per Salar hairan ho gaya.

"Haan..." Usay samajh nahi aaya ke wo kyun iska inkari nahi kar saka.

"Kya tum kisi se mohabbat karte ho?"

"Haan..."

Furqan, bohot der tak, wahan chupchaap beth kar usay hairat se dekhte rahe.

"Kis se mohabbat karte ho?" "Tum usay nahi jaante."

"Tum us se shaadi nahi kar sake?" Salar uski taraf dekhta raha. Uski awaaz ghusse se
bhar gayi, "Shaadi ho chuki thi."

"Shaadi ho chuki thi?" Furqan ne hairani se poocha.

327
"Haan..."

"Phir...kya tumne talaaq de di?" usne poocha.

"Nahi."

"Phir...?" "Bas itna hi..."

"Itna hi kya?" Salar ne neeche dekha aur apne baayen haath ki ungli se apne daaye
haath ki life line ko trace kiya.

"Uska naam kya hai?" Furqan ne narmi se poocha.

Usne apni ungli ko apni haath ki lakeer par phiraya aur bohot dair tak chup raha.
Phir dheere se kaha, "Imama Hashim."

Furqan ne gehri saans li. Ab usay samajh aaya ke usne apni choti beti ke liye itne
saare tofay kyun kharide the. Jab se wo ek dusre ko jaane the aur Salar unke ghar ka
aksar mehman ban gaya tha, wo Imama se bohot mohabat karne laga tha—they had
become very good friends. Jab wo Pakistan se door bhi tha, to lagataar usay tofay
bhejta rehta tha. Lekin ek cheez ne Furqan ko hairan kiya. Wo kabhi Imama ko uske
naam se nahi pukarta tha, na hi usay uske naam se mukhatib karta tha. Kabhi kabar,
Furqan ne is baat ko notice kiya tha lekin nazarandaz kar diya tha. Lekin ab, Imama
Hashim ka naam sun kar, usay samajh aya ke Salar usay uske naam se kyun nahi
pukarta tha.

Wo ab ruk ruk kar aur narmi se Furqan ko Imama aur apne bare mein bata raha tha.
Furqan ghore se sun raha tha. Jab, sab kuch batane ke baad, wo chup ho gaya,
Furqan bhi bol nahi saka. Usay nahi pata tha ke kya kehna hai: usay tasalli de ya
kuch aur...shayad, kuch naseehat.

"Usay bhool jao," usne khamoshi tor kar kaha. "Apne aap se kaho ke jahan bhi wo
hai, wo theek aur khush hai. Zaroori nahi ke uske sath kuch bura hua ho. Shayad, wo
bohot mehfooz hai," Furqan usay samjha raha tha.

"Jitni madad tumne uski kar sakte thay, utni kar di. Ab, pachtawa band karo. Allah
madad karta hai. Tumhare baad, shayad usay koi aur behtar mil gaya ho. Tum kyun
aise bure khayalat rakhte ho? Mujhe nahi lagta ke tum uske aur Jalal ki shaadi na
hone ki wajah ho. Jo kuch tumne mujhe Jalal ke bare mein bataya, mujhe lagta hai
ke wo kabhi Imama se shaadi nahi karta, chahe tum beech mein aate ya nahi, chahe

328
tumne unke darmiyan rift paida ki ho ya nahi. Jahan tak tumne Imama ko talaaq nahi
diya, usay tumse phir se rujoo karna chahiye tha. Agar usne aisa kiya hota, to tum
zaroor usay talaaq de dete. Agar tumne is mamle mein kuch galat kiya, Allah tumhe
maaf kar dega, kyunki tum pachtawa kar rahe ho. Tum Allah se maafi maang rahe
ho. Yeh kaafi hai. Phir, depression mein jane ka kya faida. Koshish karo ke is se bahar
aao." Furqan bohot mukhlisana tor se usay samjhane ki koshish kar raha tha. Salar ki
khamoshi ne usay yaqeen dilaya ke wo kamiyab ho raha tha, lekin is lambi guftagu
ke baad jab Furqan chup ho gaya, to Salar uth kar apna briefcase kholne laga.

"Kya kar rahe ho?" Furqan ne poocha.

"Meri flight ka waqt qarib aa raha hai." Wo apne briefcase se kuch papers nikal raha
tha. Furqan ko nahi pata tha ke kya kehna hai.

-------------------------------------------------

Woh Pakistan kai saalon se aa raha tha. Waapis jaate waqt kabhi pareshan nahi hota
tha, magar aaj tha. Take-off ke waqt us ne apne andar ek ajeeb khali pan mehsoos
kiya. Us ne khidki se bahar dekha. Is zameen ke wasi maidan par kahin ek larki thi
jiska naam Imama Hashim tha. Agar woh wahan rehta to kabhi na kabhi us se milta.
Ya phir kisi aise shakhs se milta jo usay jaanta ho, magar jahan woh ja raha tha
wahan Imama Hashim nahi thi. Wahan mumkin tha ke un dono ki mulaqat nahi ho
sakti thi. Woh phir se lambi der ke liye door ja raha tha, 'mumkin' ko peeche chor
kar. Apni zindagi mein kitni baar woh 'mumkin' ko peeche chor kar jaayega?

Dus minute baad, jab us ne tranquilizer paani ke sath nigal liya, us ne mehsoos kiya
ke woh zindagi mein kahin nahi tha. Ke woh kabhi apni jagah nahi pa sakta, ke woh
kabhi zameen par apne pair nahi mehsoos kar sakta.

Apne saatwein manzil ke apartment mein daakhil hotay huay, us ne mehsoos kiya ke
woh wahan nahi jana chahta tha. Woh kahin aur jana chahta tha. Magar kahan?

329
Us ne apne apartment ka darwaza lock kiya aur lounge mein TV on kar diya. CNN
apna news bulletin dikha raha tha. Apne jootay aur jacket utar kar, us ne unhein ek
taraf phenk diya. Phir remote utha kar sofa par let gaya. Be khudi se us ne channels
change kiye. Urdu mein ek zor dar awaaz ne usay rok diya. Ek anjaan singer ghazal
gaa raha tha.

Meri zindagi ek judaai hai, magar mere dil mein woh rehti hai Itni qareeb, itni
nazdeek har dhadkan ke saath, phir bhi meri chahat ki nazron se itni door.

Us ne remote apne seene par rakh diya. Singer ki ghazal khoobsurat thi, ya shayad
woh usi ke jazbat ko bayan kar raha tha.

Yeh zindagi bhi qurbaan hogi, kaheen na kaheen, kisi na kisi tarah – Mujhe shaamil
karo – agar koi aur nahi.

Poetry, classical music, purani filmein, instrumental music: us ne in cheezon ki

ahmiyat ko pichle kuch saalon mein samajhna shuru kiya tha. Us ne achi music ka
shauq paida kar liya tha, magar Urdu ghazal us ke liye ajnabi thi.

Chahiye Sinai ki choti ho ya faislay ki ghari, intezaar karunga Main apni mehbooba se
milne ke liye kahin, kabhi, jahan bhi, jab bhi.

Us ne Imama ko phir yaad kiya. Woh hamesha usay yaad karta tha. Pehle usay
tanhaai mein yaad karta tha, phir bheer mein usay dekhta tha. Us ne mohabbat ko
galat samjha – us ne hamesha socha ke yeh pasheman hai.

Woh mujh se door hai, magar meri mohabbat paak hai, khwahish nahi – Main sirf usi
ka tha, hoon – agar woh meri nahi bhi hai.

Salar achanak sofa se uth gaya aur khidkiyon ki taraf chala gaya.

Saatwein manzil par kharay ho kar, usay roshniyon ke bawajood andhera mehsoos
hota tha. Bahar ka ajnabi jangal bhi ajnabi tha, andar ki haalat bhi ajnabi thi.

Faisla, yeh yahan zahir karo; aakhri din ke liye mat bachao, Woh waar jo mujhe tab
lagegi, woh ab meri taqdeer banne do.

Wahan kharay ho kar, andheray mein chamakti roshniyon ko dekhte huay, Salar ne
apne andar ki gehraai ko mehsoos karne ki koshish ki.

'Main? Aur kisi larki se mohabbat? Sawal hi paida nahi hota!' Us ne apni bohot baar
dohrayi gayi baat ko yaad kiya jo us ne kai saalon pehle kahi thi. Bahar ka andhera

330
barhta gaya, uske andar ka azab bhi barhta gaya... us ne haar maan kar apna sar
jhuka liya, aur kuch dair baad, phir se sar uthaya aur bahar dekhne laga.

Insaan ka apne haath mein faisla lene ka haq kahan shuru hota hai, aur kahan
khatam hota hai? Ek aur depression ka daur – raat ki chmaktai roshniyan dheemi ho
rahi thi.

Woh dil jo itni chahat se ek jhalak ko tarasta hai, Naseer, zaroor kamiyab hoga
Khwah uski razdari ho, jitni bhi chhupi hui meri mohabbat ho.

Salar ne screen ki taraf dekha: singer wohi akhri line bar bar dohra raha tha. Ek
machine ki tarah, Salar sofa ki taraf chala aur baith gaya.

Table par rakha brief case apni taraf kheench kar us ne apna laptop nikala.

Woh dil jo itni chahat se ek jhalak ko tarasta hai, Naseer, zaroor kamiyab hoga
Khwah uski razdari ho, jitni bhi chhupi hui meri mohabbat ho.

Singer ghazal ka akhri sher dohra raha tha. Salar ke haath keyboard par daud rahe
thay jab us ne apna resignation type kiya. Room mein music ki awaaz dheemi ho
gayi. Us ke resignation letter ka har lafz uske jama hua ruh ko pighla raha tha. Aisa
lag raha tha jaise woh ek jaadu ke ghere se bahar nikal raha ho, jaise koi jaadu usay
aazad kar raha ho.

---------------------------------------------

"Sirf tum hi aisi bewakoofana faisla kar sakte ho apne career ke is stage par," Usman
Sikandar ko khamoshi se sun raha tha.

"Tum itni achi position kyun chhor rahe ho, woh bhi itni achanak? Aur agar tumne
naukri chhorne ka faisla kar hi liya hai, to kisi business venture mein shamil ho jao –
bank join karne ka kya idea hai?" Usman Sikandar, Salar ke faisle se bilkul mutma'in
nahi tha.

"Main Pakistan mein kaam karna aur rehna chahta hoon, is liye maine yeh naukri
chhor di. Business main nahi kar sakta; waise bhi, bank ki taraf se yeh offer mujhe
kaafi arsay se mil rahi thi. Woh mujhe Pakistan mein posting dene ke liye tayar hain,
is liye maine offer qabool kar li," Salar ne apne walid ke tamam sawaalon ka ek hi
baar mein jawab de diya.

"Phir bank join mat karo – mere sath kaam karo."

331
"Main yeh nahi kar sakta, Papa – please majboor mat kijiyega!"

"Phir wahan hi raho jahan ho. Kyun waapis aa rahe ho?"

"Main wahan reh nahi sakta…"

"Watniyat ka josh?" (A fit of patriotism?‘)

"Nahi."

"Phir?"

"Main aap sab ke sath rehna chahta hoon," usne baat ka rukh badla.

"Waise mujhe yaqeen hai yeh faisla sirf hamari khatir nahi hai," uske walid ka lehja
kuch naram ho gaya.

Salar ne jawab nahi diya. Uske walid bhi kuch dair khamosh rahe.

"Tumne faisla kar liya hai to ab main kuch nahi kar sakta. Tum waapis aa sakte ho
agar chahtay ho. Dekho bank mein kaam kar ke kaisa lagta hai, magar meri khwahish
hai ke tum family business sambhalo," Usman Sikandar ne apne bete ka faisla maan
liya tha.

Phir unhe kuch yaad aaya. "Tum apna Ph.D complete karna chahte the – uska kya
bana?" usne poocha.

"Main is waqt mazeed taleem nahi karna chahta. Shayad kuch saalon baad wapas
taleem shuru karoon – ya shayad bilkul nahi," Salar ne dheemi awaaz mein jawab
diya.

"Tum waapis school ki wajah se aa rahe ho?" Usman Sikandar ne achanak poocha.

"Shayad…" Salar ne inkar nahi kiya. Agar uske walid yeh samjhte hain ke school uski
wapsi ka sabab hai, to unhe samajhne dene mein koi harj nahi tha.

"Faisla dobara ghor se karo, Salar!" Uske walid ne kehe bina na reh sake.

"Bohot kam logon ko aisa professional start milta hai jo tumhe mila – kya tum sun
rahe ho?"

"Jee," usne ek lafz mein jawab diya.

"Tum itne bare ho ke apna faisla khud kar sakte ho," uske walid ne guftagu khatam
kar di.

332
Salar ne phone neeche rakha aur apne apartment ko dekha. Jo ki 18 din baad, usay
hamesha ke liye chhorna tha.

-------------------------------------------

END OF CHAPTER 6

---------------------------------

333
 CHAPTER 7

Uski zindagi mein aik nai manzil shuru hui jab wo Paris se wapas aya. Ibtida mein,
usne Islamabad branch mein aik foreign bank ke liye kaam jari rakha. Kuch arsay
baad, unhone usay Lahore ki nai branch mein transfer kar diya. Uske paas Karachi
janay ka bhi ikhtiyar tha, magar usne Lahore ko chuna kyunke is tarah wo Dr. Sibt-e-
Ali ke sath waqt guzar sakta tha.

Pakistan mein uski activities ka tarz badal gaya, magar wo pehle se kam nahi thi.
Yahan bhi wo din raat masroof rehta. Uski shohrat aik bemisaal economic expert ke
tor pe har jagah sath chalti thi. Hukoomati halaqat mein uska naam naya nahi tha,
magar wapas Pakistan aaney ke baad, usay Ministry of Finance aksar lectures dene ke
liye bulati. Ye lectures ka silsila uske liye naya nahi tha kyunke Yale se taleem
mukammal karke, usne wahan mukhtalif classes parhana shuru kar diya tha, aur ye
New York move karne ke baad bhi jari raha. Columbia University mein human
development ke seminars mein bhi wo hissa leta raha, jahan uska rujhan dobara
economics ki taraf hua.

Pakistan mein bhi wo jald hi IBA, LUMS aur FAST mein munazzam seminars mein
shamil ho gaya. Economics aur Human Development do topics the jin se wo
khamoshi ikhtiyar nahi kar sakta tha—ye uske dil ke qareeb the aur in seminars mein
uske lectures ka feedback hamesha bemisaal hota tha. Har mahine aik hafta apne
gaon ke school mein guzarta aur wahan reh kar zindagi ka aik naya pehlu dekhta.

"Humne apni rural areas mein ghurbat ko chhupa rakha hai, jaise log gundagi ko
farsh ke neeche chhupa detay hain." Furqan ne aik dafa kaha jab school abhi under
construction tha. Gaon mein guzare dinon ne is haqiqat ki bhayanak tasdeek ki. Ye
nahi tha ke wo Pakistan mein ghurbat se la'ilm tha: UNESCO aur UNICEF ke sath
kaam karte hue, usne Asian mulkon mein Pakistan par bahut si reports parhi thi.
Magar pehli dafa usne apni ankhon se logon ko dekhte hue dekha jo poverty line se
neeche zindagi guzar rahe thay.

"Das ya pandrah bade shehron se bahar niklo, to tumhe ehsaas hoga ke chote
shehron ke log Third World nahi, shayad Tenth ya Twelfth World mein rehte hain—
na unke paas rozgaar hai aur na sahulaten. Wo aadhi zindagi umeed mein aur aadhi
nirasha mein guzarte hain. Kaunsi ethics yeh kehti hai ke insaan apna din aik tukda

334
sookhi purani roti se shuru kare aur bhook se usay khatam kare? Aur hum yahan
hain—bhook aur tangi ka khatma karne ke bajaye hum masajid banate rehte hain—
shandar, mehngi masajid, jo behtareen marble se bani hoti hain aur khushnuma
ceilings ke sath. Ek sadak par shayad das masajid milengi—masajid jo namazion se
khali hoti hain." Furqan aksar talakhai se kehta.

"Mulk mein itni masajide hain ke agar Pakistan ki puri awaam bhi bahar nikal kar un
mein namaz parhne lage, to bhi aadhi masajid khali rahengi. Main masajid banane
mein yakeen nahi rakhta aik aise mulk mein jahan log bhook se khudkushi karte hain
aur jahan kuch samaji tabaqat ke naslein jahalat mein kho jati hain. Aise maqamat
par masajid nahi, school ki zarurat hai takay taleem aur agahi rozgaar ke moqe
faraham karein—tabhi log Allah ka shukar ada karenge, warna sirf shikayat karenge."
Wo Furqan ko khamoshi se sunta. Jab usne gaon mein riyazi dauray shuru kiye, to
usay ehsaas hua ke Furqan theek keh raha tha. Ghurbat ne logon ko deen se door
kar diya tha. Unki choti se choti zarurat unke asaab par thi aur wo us shakhs ke
ghulam ban jate jo unki zarurat puri kar sakta. Jab wo weekend par gaon jaata, log
usse milne ke liye line laga lete, choti moti cheezon ke liye. Kabhi kabhi
laantamuhtahina qataar hoti.

"Mere bete ko factory mein naukri dilado...hazaar rupay mahina bhi humari aamdani
mein izafa kar dega."
"Agar mujhe 20 hazaar rupay mil jayein, to main apni beti ki shaadi karwa dunga..."
"Barsaat ne hamari faslein tabah kar di hain. Mere paas agle mausam ke liye bij ka
paisa nahi. Mujhe kuch paisa udhaar de dein, main fasl katne par wapas kar dunga."
"Police ne mere bete ko giraftar kar liya hai—wo koi wajah nahi batati. Kehti hai jab
tak chahein rakhenge—bara e karam SHO se baat karein."
"Patwari mere zameen par jhagra kar raha hai—wo ise kisi aur ko allot karna chahta
hai...kehta hai mere papers jali hain."
"Mera beta padosi gaon mein kaam karta hai; usay aath mile chal kar jana padta
hai...agar aap use aik cycle diladein."
"Humein apne ghar mein pani ke liye aik hand pump lagana hai. Barae meharbani
madad karein."

Salar inki darkhwasten sun kar hairan hota—kya aise seedhe saade kaam aise
naqaablay tajwiz masail hain ke log apni zindagi guzar dete hain inhein hal karne
mein? Jab wo apne mahwari dauray par gaon jata, to das se pandrah hazaar rupay

335
sath le jata. Wo paisa choti choti raqam mein taqseem karke unki simple—magar
unke liye aham—zarurat ko pura karta. Unki zindagi mein kuch asaani le aata. Jo
chand lines wo likhta ya kuch calls jo wo kisi bare afsar ko karta, unke bojh utar dete
aur unke paon se dekhne na dene wali bediyan kaat dete—shayad, Salar ko bhi nahi
pata tha ke yeh kaise kaam karta.

-------------

Lahore mein rehte huye, wo Dr. Sibt-e-Ali se baqaidgi se milne jaata. Har shaam Isha
ki namaz ke baad, log wahan jama hote aur Dr. Ali kisi dilchasp mawzoo par guftagu
karte. Kabhi apni pasand ka mawzoo chunte aur kabhi kisi mehman ke sawaal par
guftagu shuru hoti. Zyada tar speakers ke baraks, Dr. Sibt-e-Ali sirf suntay nahi the,
balke unki guftagu mukalma hoti thi. Wo sawalat karte aur sab ko guftagu mein
shamil karte. Unhein logon ki rai ki qadar thi aur wo tanqeed ko baray pur sukoon
aur positive tareeqe se lete the. Shayad Salar Sikandar wahid shakhs tha jo ab tak koi
sawaal nahi uthata tha aur na hi Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke poochay gaye sawalon ka jawab
dene ki koshish karta tha. Wo na to apni rai pesh karta aur na hi tanqeed karta.

Aksar wo Furqan ke saath jata aur agar Furqan nahi hota, to akela hi jata aur kamray
ke kone mein apni usual jagah le leta. Wo chup chap Dr. Ali aur chalti hui guftagu ko
sunta rehta. Kabhi kabhi jab unse poocha jata to wo mukhtasir taur par apna taaruf
karata, "Main Salar Sikandar hoon; main aik bank mein kaam karta hoon." Jab tak wo
America mein tha, wo har hafta Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ko call karta, lekin unki guftagu bohot
mukhtasir hoti aur hamesha aik jaisi hoti.

Wo call karta; Dr. Ali call receive karte aur hamesha sirf aik sawal poochte. Pehli dafa
jab usne ye sawal suna to wo hairan reh gaya. Usne kuch din pehle hi America mein
land kiya tha aur Dr. Ali usse wapas Pakistan aane ke bare mein pooch rahe the.
Salar hairan reh gaya.

"Jald nahi..." usne jawab diya, sawaal ka maqsad samajhne ki koshish karte hue.

Baad mein, usse ye ajeeb nahi laga kyun ke be-dili se usne samajh liya tha ke Dr. Ali
kya kehna chahte hain. Aakhri dafa unhone Salar se ye sawaal tab poocha jab wo
Imama ko dhoondhne ke liye Red Light Area gaya tha. Paris wapas jaane ke baad,

336
usne agle hafta Dr. Ali ko call ki, jaise hamesha karta tha, aur jaise hamesha hota tha,
guftagu usi sawal par khatam hui: "Tum Pakistan kab aa rahe ho?"

Achanak Salar ko laga ke bas ab bohot ho gaya—usne apna composure wapas

paane mein kuch waqt liya.

"Agle mahine: main is naukri se resign kar raha hoon aur Pakistan mein aik bank
mein kaam karunga."

"Bahut achha. Phir agle mahine mulaqat hogi," Dr. Ali ne kaha.

"Mere liye dua kijiyega," Salar ne aakhir mein kaha.

"Zaroor. Aur kuch?"

"Nahi, aur kuch nahi. Allah hafiz," usne kaha.

Dr. Ali ne bhi Allah hafiz kaha aur ye guftagu usi note par khatam hui jab tak Salar
Pakistan nahi aa gaya.

---------

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali se milne se Salar ko sukoon milta tha. Yeh wahi waqt hota jab uski
depression bilkul khatam ho jati thi. Unke samne chup chap baithe huye, kabhi kabhi
Salar ka dil karta ke sab kuch bata de, jo kuch bhi usne apne andar chhupa rakha tha
aur jo usse zehar ki tarah nigaal raha tha. Wo gilah shikayat, bechaini, majboori aur
sharam, pashemani—sab kuch. Phir Dr. Ali ka reaction—woh kya sochenge—ka khauf
uski himmat tor deta.

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali, mubham baatein door karne mein maahir the. Salar unki sohbat mein
chup chap baitha sunta, samajhta, absorb karta, natije pe pohnchta—ek parda gir
raha tha aur nazar clear ho rahi thi. Jo sawalat uske zehan mein saalon se the, unka
jawab Dr. Ali de rahe the.

"Agar aap Islam ko samajh kar parhain, to aap iska daira dekh sakte hain—kitna
khula hua hai. Yeh aik narrow-mindedness aur kanjoosi ko tasleem nahi karta; Islam
mein inka koi maqam nahi hai. Yeh 'main' se shuru hota hai aur 'hum' tak jaata hai—
fard se community tak. Islam yeh nahi chahta ke aap sirf namaz padhte rahein, sar pe

337
topi aur haath mein tasbeeh le kar, sirf ibadat aur tabligh karte rahein. Balke yeh aap
se chahta hai ke aapki zindagi insaaf, wafadari, honesty aur mehnat ki misaal ban
jaye. Yeh ikhlas aur sabr ka talabgaar hai. Acha Musalman apni baaton se nahi, balki
apne aamal se dosron ko mutmaeen karta hai."

Salar Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ki baatein record karta aur baad mein ghar ja kar sunta. Wo ek
sarparaz ki talash mein tha aur usne Dr. Sibt-e-Ali mein apna sarparaz paa liya tha.

-------------

"Salar, chalo! Chalo na, kitna aur majboor karoon tumhe!" Anita ne uska bazu
kheenchte hue kaha; wo naraz ho rahi thi.

Wo Islamabad, Ammar ki shadi ke liye, teen din ki chhutti par aaya tha, jabke uski
family ne usse ek hafta rukne par zor diya tha. Shadi ke functions kuch din pehle se
shuru ho chuke the. Usse in events ki 'importance' aur 'nature' ka achi tarah pata tha;
isi liye unki zordari ke bawajood, usne sirf teen din rehne ka plan banaya tha. Aur
yahan wo Ammar ki mehndi mein tha, jo dulha aur dulhan dono ki families ke saath
mil kar manai ja rahi thi.

Ammar aur Asra ke dost aur rishtedaar Indian film songs aur pop music par dance
kar rahe the. Mahol bilkul khule aam tha—sleeveless dresses, bare necklines, kapdon
ka jism se chipka hona, sheer dresses aur silk aur chiffon saris ke sath net blouses—
uski family ki auratein bhi baqi sab logon ki tarah hi kapde pehne hue thi.

Yeh ek mixed gathering thi aur gaane aur dance shuru hone se pehle, usne apne liye
aik jagah dhoondhi jahan corporate aur banking circles ke log ya wo log jo uske
walid aur bhaiyon ko jaante the, baithe hue the. Magar phir mehndi ka function
shuru hua aur Anita usse stage par le gayi. Ammar aur Asra wahan maujood the,
baatein karte hue. Wo pehli dafa Asra se mil raha tha. Ammar ne unka taaruf karaya.
Mehndi ka function khatam hone ke baad jab usne wahan se nikalne ki koshish ki to
Tayyaba ne use rok diya.

"Yeh tumhare bhai ki mehndi hai aur tum kone mein baithe ho! Tumhe yahan hona
chahiye," usne usse dant diya. Isliye wo ruk gaya, Kamran aur uski biwi ke saath. Uska
ek cousin aaya aur uske gale mehndi ka sash dalne ki koshish ki jo sab ne pehna tha.

338
Salar ne gusse se usse door kar diya. Agle kuch minutes mein, dance music shuru
hua aur Ammar ke sath uske sab bhai aur cousins dance kar rahe the. Anita usse
dance floor ki taraf kheench rahi thi.

"Nahi, Anita, main dance nahi kar sakta. Mujhe nahi aata." Usne apne aap ko
chhudane ki koshish ki aur shamil hone se inkaar kar diya. Lekin uski baat sunne ke
bajaye, Ammar aur Anita ne usse dance floor ke beech mein le aaye. Kamran aur
Moiz ki shadiyon mein, usne bhi aise hi dance kiya tha, lekin woh saat saal pehle tha.
Aur in saat saalon mein, usne ek lambi raah tay ki thi—aql aur rooh ki safar. Ammar
ki shadi mein, us bheed mein khade hote hue, uske liye apne haath uthana bhi
mushkil ho gaya tha. Bechain aur bebas wo wahan beech mein khada tha.

Jhuk kar, usne Anita ke kaan mein kaha, "Mujhe dance karna bhool gaya hai—please
mujhe jaane do."

"Bas shuru karo—yaad aa jayega," Anita ne uske kandhe par haath rakhte hue tasalli
di.

"Main nahi kar sakta. Tum sab continue karo, main event enjoy kar raha hoon. Mujhe
jaane do."

Is darmiyan, Asra bhi bheed mein shamil ho gayi aur uski aamad ne Salar ko nikalne
ka moka de diya.

"Talluqon ki bulandi har qaum ka khwab hota hai; har nasl ka khwab. Aur phir wo
communities jinhein ilahi wahee mili hoti hai, is bulandi ko apna haq samajhti hain.
Lekin sirf is wajah se ke unhein ilahi paigambar aur kitaab mili hai, wo is maqam ke
mustahiq nahi hoti jab tak ke wo apne aamaal se khud ko sabit na kar dein. Yeh
wahi surat-e-haal hai jo pehle Musalmanon ke sath hui aur ab bhi unhein mutasir
karti hai. Unka masla yeh hai ke unki upper class dikhawe ki shikar hai aur apni ana
mein ghum hai—yeh cheezein aik epidemic ki tarah hain, ek se doosre ko aur doosre
se teesre ko lagti hain, bina rukawat ke." Wahan khade hote hue, naachte hue
mardon aur auraton ko dekhte, Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ki baatein Salar ke zehan mein uth aayi.

"Ek momin—ek sacha musalman—kabhi zaroorat se zyada kharch nahi karta: na jab
wo aam logon mein se ho aur na jab wo hukmaran ho. Uski zindagi kisi janwar ya
keere makore ki tarah nahi hoti jo sirf apni gharelu zaruraton tak simit ho—sirf
khana, sona, nasal badhna aur marna. Yeh Musalman ka tareeqa nahi ho sakta."

339
Salar ke honton par muskurahat aayi—wo in janwaron aur keere makoron ki bheed
mein khada tha, aur yeh jaankar ke usne unki sohbat chor di thi, usse khushi mili.
Sab wahan khush, mutmaeen aur pur sukoon nazar aa rahe the—uthti hui hasi,
chamakti chehre aur chamakdaar aankhen. Uske samne Tayyaba thi, jo Ammar ke
susar ke sath dance kar rahi thi, aur Anita apne bade bhai Kamran ke sath dance kar
rahi thi.

Salar ne apni kanpati malni shuru ki—shayad yeh shor ya uski zehni pareshani thi jo
uske sir mein dard ka bais bani thi. Usne apna chashma utaar kar aankhein malni.
Phir wapas chashma pehn kar, usne is chaos se nikalne ka rasta dhoondha aur
kaamiyab ho gaya.

"Kahan ja rahe ho?" Tayyaba ki aawaz uske peechay shor mein aayi, aur usne uska
bazu pakar liya. Usne abhi dance karna band kiya tha aur saans phooli hui thi.

"Main wapas aaunga, Mummy, apni namaz ke baad."

"Aaj rehne do..."

Salar muskuraya lekin kuch kaha nahi; usne apna sar hilaaya aur ahista se apna bazu
chhudaya. Usne nikalne ka rasta dhoondha.

"Wo kabhi normal nahi ho sakta. Zindagi ka maza lena bhi ek fun hai aur yeh
bewaqoof yeh fun kabhi nahi seekhega," usne apne teesre bete ko door chalte hue
dekha aur dukh se socha.

Bahar shor aur shor-gul se door jaate hue, Salar ne sakoon ka saans liya. Jaise hi wo
gate se nikal kar masjid ki taraf chala, singer apni poori roohaniyat mein tha. Us ghar
se sirf Salar masjid jaane wala tha. Parked cars ki lines ke saath guzar kar, wo
musalsal Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ki baatein soch raha tha, aur un soch ko bhi jo uske ghar ke
wo hazaron log jinhein sirf khushi, gaane aur dance mein masroof the. Masjid mein
sirf chaudah log namaz parhne aaye the.

----------------------------

340
Pakistan wapas aane ke baad, Salar apne walidain ke saath rehne laga jab tak uski
posting Islamabad mein thi. Jab uska tabadla Lahore hua, to usne kisi posh area mein
bungalow rent karne ke bajaye Furqan ke block mein apartment lena pasand kiya.

Furqan ke qareeb rehne ka ek aur wajah yeh thi ke uski mojudgi mein apne
apartment ko bina dekha rekhne ke chhodne ka khauf nahi hota, aur doosri wajah
yeh thi ke ghar mein rehne ka matlab tha ke naukar rakhne padte jo ghar ka kaam
sambhalte, jabke wo ghar par bohot kam waqt guzarta tha. Furqan ke saath rehne
se, Salar ka social circle bhi Lahore mein barhne laga. Furqan bohot milansaar shakhs
tha aur uska social circle kaafi bara tha. Salar ke mizaaj aur tabiyat ko jaante hue bhi,
wo use mukhtalif events par le jata.

Us raat, Salar Furqan ke saath apne aik medical colleague ke dinner aur music party
mein tha jo ek farm par rakhhi gayi thi. Salar ko bhi dawat di gayi thi aur jab usne
ghazal shaam ke baare mein suna, to wo rok nahi saka. Sheher ke elite log farm par
jama hue the. Salar in mein se bohoton ko jaanta tha, aur kuch logon se guftagu
shuru ki. Dinner serve ho chuka tha aur khana khate waqt, Salar ne Furqan ko
dhoondha jo nazar nahi aa raha tha. Jab Salar khana khatam kar raha tha, to usne
Furqan ko dekha jo uske paas aaya.

"Chalo Salar, tumhe milwata hoon," usne kaha. "Yeh Dr. Raza hain. Yeh Gangaram
Hospital mein child specialist hain." Salar ne usse haath milaya.

"Aur yeh Dr. Jalal Ansar hain." Salar ko kisi taaruf ki zarurat nahi thi. Usne suna hi
nahi ke Furqan kya keh raha tha. Usne sirf apna haath Dr. Jalal ki taraf badhaya aur
berukhi se haath milaya. Dr. Jalal ne bhi shayad Salar ko pehchan liya tha.

Salar wahan ek khushgawar shaam guzarna aaya tha lekin usne mehsoos kiya ke yeh
raat bohot bura hone wala hai. Yaadein bepanah behtaar kar gayi. Sab log music ke
intizaam wali jagah ki taraf jaane lage. Furqan Salar ke saath tha aur Jalal thodi doori
par aur doctors ke saath tha. Salar ne uski peeth ko dekha aur uska chehra utar gaya.
Iqbal Bano Faiz ga rahi thi.

"Wiran ke sehra mein, pyaare pyaar, Tumhari awaaz ke saaye larza rahe hain,
Tumhare honthon ka sarab... Wiran ke sehra mein, Faaslon ki malba ke neeche,
Tumhari baghal mein sarv aur gulab khil rahe hain."

341
Uske ird gird baithe log singer ki awaaz aur shayari se behed hote hue jhoom rahe
the. Salar, kuch tables door, us shakhs ko dekh raha tha jo apne dostoon ke saath
gup shup mein kho gaya tha. Salar ne kabhi rashk mehsoos nahi kiya tha, lekin ab us
shakhs ko dekh kar wo mehsoos kar raha tha.

Aadhi ghante ke baad, usne Furqan se kaha, "Chalein?"

"Kahan?"

"Ghar..."

"Programme abhi shuru hua hai. Mainne tumhe bataya tha ke party raat der tak
chalegi."

"Haan, lekin mujhe nikalna hai. Koi hai jo mujhe drop kar de. Tum ruk sakte ho."

Furqan ne uska chehra ghor se dekha. "Tumhe nikalna kyun hai?"

"Mujhe kuch zaruri yaad aa gaya." Salar ne muskurane ki koshish ki.

"Iqbal Bano ko sunte waqt tumhe kuch zaruri yaad kaise aa gaya?" Furqan ka lehja
ilzaam dene wala tha.

"Baitho, main apna rasta dhoondh lunga," Salar ne kaha aur uth gaya.

"Yeh jagah beech mein hai—tum kaisay jaoge? Agar tum insist karte ho to chalo,
nikalte hain." Furqan bhi uth gaya.

Unhone host se ijazat li aur Furqan ki gaadi mein baith gaye. "Ab batao, achanak kya
hua?" Furqan ne farm se nikalte hue pucha.

"Mujhe wahan aur rehne ka dil nahi kar raha tha."

"Kyun?"

Salar ne jawab nahi diya; wo sheesha ke bahar dekh raha tha.

"Jalal tumhe wahan se nikalne ki wajah hai?"

Salar ne mud kar Furqan ko dekha jo gehri saans le raha tha.

"Mera andaaza sahi tha—tum Jalal Ansar ki wajah se party se nikal gaye."

"Kaise pata chala?" Salar ne shikast sweekar karte hue pucha.

"Jis tarah tum dono mile, wo ajeeb tha. Jalal ne ghair mamooli taur par tumhe koi
ahmiyat nahi di; jabke itne mashhoor banker ke samne, ek aise shakhs ko chahiye ke

342
woh usse zyada ehmiyat de. Aur tum lagataar us par nazar rakhe hue the," Furqan ne
bohot pur sukoon kaha.

"Jalal Ansar ko jaante ho?" Salar ne seedha aage dekhte hue pucha. Phir kaafi der ke
baad, dheemi awaaz mein kaha, "Wo wahi shakhs hai jise Imama shaadi karna chahti
thi."

Furqan ke paas alfaz nahi the. Usne yeh expect nahi kiya tha ke Salar aur Jalal ke
darmiyan aise taalluqat hain, warna wo kabhi sawal nahi karta. Kaafi der tak gaadi
mein khamoshi thi.

"Mujhe yeh sun kar niraasha hui ke wo aise shakhs se shaadi karna chahti thi. Jalal
Ansar bohot ghamand wala insaan hai. Hum usse butcher kehte hain. Uski sirf
dilchaspi paise mein hai. Uske mareez kahan se laayenge yeh uski fikr nahi. Dekhna,
agar yeh isi tarah chalta raha to agli das saalon mein Lahore ka ameer tareen doctor
ban jayega."
Furqan Jalal ke bare mein comments kar raha tha aur Salar chup chap sun raha tha.
Jab Furqan ne apni baat khatam ki, Salar ne kaha, "Yeh jo hai usay qismat kehte
hain."

"Kya tum use rashk karte ho?" Furqan hairan hua.

"Nahi, main rashk nahi kar sakta," Salar ne ajeeb si muskurahat di. "Jo kuch tum
mujhe uske baare mein bata rahe ho, yeh sab main pehle se jaanta hoon, jab main
uske paas Imama ka paigham le kar gaya tha. Mujhe pata tha ke wo kis qisam ka
doctor banega. Lekin aaj use dekh kar mujhe bohot rashk mehsoos hua. Usmein koi
khaas baat nahi—wo ordinary sa lagta hai aur uski family bhi aam si hai. Aise
hazaroon doctors hain—lalchi, maadi. Lekin dekho uski qismat ke Imama Hashim
jaise larki usse pyaar kar baithe. Usne apni zindagi tabah kar di aur ghar chhod diya
uske liye. Tum use butcher ya kuch bhi kaho, lekin isse uski ya meri haalat nahi
badalti." Salar ne baat beech mein rokh di. Furqan ne uska chehra dekhte hue dekha
ke wo udaas ho gaya.

"Usme zarur kuch khaas hoga jo Imama Hashim ko sirf ussi se pyaar hua," Salar ne
apni aankhein malte hue kaha.

"Agar mujhe pata hota ke tumhari mulaqat Jalal Ansar se hogi, to main kabhi tumhe
saath nahi lata," Furqan ne gaadi sheher ki taraf chalate hue kaha.

343
"Main bhi kabhi nahi aata, kisi bhi surat mein, agar mujhe pata hota," Salar ne udaasi
se sochte hue kaha, aur andheray mein dekhte rahe.

Kuch waqt aur guzra, phir Furqan ne phir se pucha, "Kya tumne kabhi use
dhoondhne ki koshish nahi ki?"

"Kise? Imama? Yeh mumkin nahi hai."

"Kyun?"

"Main kaise use dhoondhoon? Kai saal pehle, maine koshish ki thi, lekin kuch haasil
nahi hua. Aur ab...ab yeh aur bhi mushkil hai."

"Tum newspapers se madad le sakte ho."

"Uske bare mein notice daloon?" Salar ne kuch narazgi se kaha. "Khuda jaane kya wo
milti hai ya nahi, lekin uske log zarur mujhe dhoond lenge. Main pehle se unki nazar
mein shakhsiyat tha. Aur phir, main newspapers mein kya daloon, kya kahoon?" usne
bechari ki tarah kandhe uchka diye.

"Phir, use bhool jao," Furqan ne seedhi baat ki.

"Kya koi saans lena bhool sakta hai?" Salar ne jawab diya.

"Salar! Yeh bohot waqt pehle ki baat hai. Tum kab tak is na-mumkin mohabbat ke
liye tarasoge? Tumhe apni aage ki zindagi ka sochna chahiye—tum apni poori
zindagi Imama Hashim ke liye qurbaan nahi kar sakte!"

"Main kuch qurbaan nahi kar raha—na apni zindagi, na apna waqt, na apne aap ko.
Agar Imama Hashim mere dil mein hai, to yeh sirf isliye hai ke main use bhool nahi
sakta. Yeh mere bas mein nahi hai. Uske bare mein soch kar mujhe bohot dard hota
hai, lekin main is dard ka aadat dal chuka hoon. Wo meri zindagi pe raaj karti hai.
Agar wo meri zindagi mein nahi aati, to aaj main yahan tumhare saath nahi baitha
hota, Pakistan mein. Salar Sikandar kahin aur hota, ya shayad, kahin nahi...maujood hi
nahi hota. Main uska bohot shukriya ada karta hoon. Tum apni zindagi se us shakhs
ko nahi nikal sakte jisse tum aahsanmand ho. Main bhi nahi kar sakta," Salar ne tezi
se samjhaya.

"Maan lo ke tumhe wo kabhi nahi milti—phir kya?" Furqan ne jawab diya.

Achanak khamoshi chha gayi aur kaafi der ke baad, Salar ne kaha, "Mere paas iska
koi jawab nahi hai. Aao kuch aur baat karein." Usne asaani se mawad badal diya.

344
### Panch Maheenay Pehle
Kuch saalon mein, Salar ne Furqan ki tarah gaon mein kaafi kaam kiya tha, aur
mukablay mein, zyada tez karke kyunki uske paas zyada contacts aur bada social
circle tha. Usne gaon ki surat hi badal di: pehle do saalon mein saaf paani, bijli aur ek
pakki sadak jo gaon ko highway se milati thi, mohayya ki gayi thi. Teesre saal mein,
ek post office, Ministry of Agriculture ka office, aur telephone connections ka
intizaam ho gaya tha; aur chauthe saal mein, ek NGO ki madad se, usne high school
mein ladkiyon aur auraton ko handicrafts sikhane ke liye dopahar ke voccational
classes shuru karwai. Gaon ke dispensary ko ek ambulance aur kuch aur medical
equipment mil gaya. Furqan ki tarah, usne apne zakhire se dispensary aur school
banwaya tha, aur usse behtar banane mein Furqan ki madad li thi. Furqan ke
mushkilat ke baraks, Salar ne dispensary ke functional hone se pehle ek permanent
doctor ka intizam kar liya tha.

School ke sab kharche Salar uthata tha, lekin dispensary chalane ke liye usne apne
doston se madad li thi. UNICEF mein kaam karte waqt banaye gaye contacts aur dost
ab madadgar sabit ho rahe the. Usne UNICEF aur UNESCO ke kai colleagues ko
Pakistan le aaya tha. Ab wo vocational training ke planning mein busy tha. Lekin
chauthe saal mein yeh sab kuch nahi tha—aur bhi bohot kuch tha.

---------------------

Us din, Islamabad wapas jaate waqt, Sikandar Usman ki gaadi ka tire puncture ho
gaya; driver ne gaadi roadside par roki aur tire badalne laga.

Sikandar Usman ne idhar udhar dekha jab tak driver tire badalta raha. Uski nazar ek
signboard par padi aur gaon ka naam dekh kar uski tawajju barh gayi. Yeh naam
uske liye naya nahi tha kyunki yeh Salar se juda tha. Jab driver wapas gaadi mein
aaya, Sikandar ne usse kaha ke gaadi us gaon ki taraf le chalo—wo achanak se us
school ke baare mein jaanne ke liye beqarar tha jo Salar wahan kuch saalon se chala
raha tha.

Gaadi cemented road par tez chalti hui sirf das minute mein gaon pohnch gayi. Kuch
choti choti dukanein nazar aayi—shayad gaon ka commercial area tha.

345
"Yahan utro aur kisi se poochho ke Salar Sikandar ka school kahan hai," usne driver
ko hukm diya. Usse achanak yaad aaya ke Salar ne kabhi school ka naam nahi bataya
aur jahan wo rukay they, wahan aas paas kisi school ka pata nahi chal raha tha. Gaon
walon ke liye Sikandar Usman ki gaadi kuch saal pehle excitement ka sabab hoti,
lekin ab wo Salar aur uske doston ki gaadiyan dekhne ke aadhi ho chuki thi. Magar,
kyunki yeh gaadi sirf guzri nahi, balki ruki thi, unki curiosity barh gayi.

Driver ek dukan par gaya aur wahan jama logon se Salar ke school ke baare mein
poochha.

"Ji sir, unka school yahin hai. Is road par aage chalte rahiye aur phir right turn lena,
wahan ek bara building nazar aayega. Wo school hai," ek aadmi ne samjhaya.

"Kya aap Salar Sahib ke dost hain?" usne pucha.

"Nahi, main unke walid ke sath aaya hoon."

"Walid?" aadmi ne hairani se pucha, aur yeh sun kar wahan sab log gaadi ki taraf
dekhne lage. Aadmi uth kar driver se haath milaya.

"Salar Sahib ke walid yahan aaye hain, yeh hamare liye izzat ki baat hai," usne kaha
aur gaadi ki taraf chal diya. Baqi log bhi uske peechay chal diye. Sikandar Usman ko
yeh group aata dekh kar kuch pareshani hui. Driver ke peechay chalne wala aadmi
gaadi ke pass aaya aur khidki se haath barhaya.

Sikandar ne dheere se haath barhaya aur aadmi ne garmi se uska haath do haathon
mein thaam liya. Sikandar ki beqarari saaf nazar aa rahi thi.

"Aap se mil kar khushi hui, sir!" aadmi ne izzat se kaha. "Chai ya thanda peena
pasand karenge?" usne purjosh andaaz mein pucha. Driver ne gaadi start kar di.

"Nahi, nahi... zarurat nahi. Mujhe sirf rasta pata karna tha," Sikandar ne jaldi se kaha.
Gaadi aage barh gayi. Gaon walay gaadi ko door tak dekhte rahe. Aadmi ne afsos se
sar hilaya aur kaha, "Salar Sahib ab kuch aur hain."

"Haan—wo aise nahi hain. Wo kabhi bhi hamari mehman-nawazi ke bina nahi jaate,"
doosre aadmi ne tasdeek ki. Log wapas apne kaam mein lag gaye.

Salar apni gaadi gaon ki dukano ke paas park karta aur khushi se jo bhi gaon walay
dete, qabool karta. Phir wo school tak paidal jaata. Gaon ke log niraash hue kyunki

346
Sikandar Usman na sirf unke saath kuch khaya nahi, balki gaadi se utarna bhi gawara
nahi kiya.

Gaadi road se right turn li aur Sikandar jo driver se baat kar raha tha, achanak
khamosh ho gaya. Aage ka nazara dekh kar wo hiraan reh gaya—ek bara spacious
building jo chhote chhote gharon ke darmiyan bohot bada lag raha tha. Sikandar ko
andaza nahi tha ke Salar itna bara school chala raha tha. Jo cheez usse hairaan kar
gayi wo building aur uske grounds ka size nahi tha, balki us road par lagay
signboard par likha naam tha. Badi badi harfon mein, door se nazar aane wale
"Sikandar Usman High School" likha tha.

Driver ne gaadi school ke samne park kar di. Sikandar ne utar kar gate ke samne
apna naam school ke front par padha. Uski aankhein bhar aayi—Salar ne ek baar phir
use be-zubaan kar diya tha. Gate band tha lekin gatekeeper wahan tha aur gaadi
dekh kar gate khol raha tha.

"Sahib sheher se aaye hain aur school dekhna chahte hain," driver ne kaha. Sikandar
Usman ab bhi board par apna naam dekh rahe the.

"Aap Salar Sahib ke silsile mein aaye hain?" gatekeeper ne pucha.

"Nahi, hum sirf visit kar rahe hain," driver ne bina hichkichahat ke kaha.

Sikandar ne board se nazar hata kar driver aur gatekeeper ko dekha. "Main Salar
Sikandar ka walid hoon," usne mazboot lekin ruke hue awaaz mein kaha.

Driver hairan ho gaya aur gatekeeper kuch uljhan mein bola, "Aap Sikandar Usman
Sahib hain?"

Bina jawab diye, Sikandar Usman gate ki taraf badh gaye.

----------------------------

Woh us shaam jogging track par tha jab Sikandar ne uske mobile phone par call
kiya. Usne ruktay huay apni saans sambhali aur qareebi bench par baith gaya.

"Hello, Papa! Assalaam alaikum!"

"W'alaikum... tum track par ho?" Sikandar ne Salar ki bhari saans se andaza lagaya.

347
"Ji. Aap kaise hain?"

"Main theek hoon..."

"Aur Mummy?"

"Woh bhi theek hain."

Salar ne apne walid ke aage bolne ka intezar kiya. Kuch dair ke liye doosri taraf
khamoshi thi, phir uske walid ne kaha, "Main aaj tumhara school dekha."

"Waqaran?" Salar ne jhat se kaha. "Aapko kaisa laga?"

"Tumne yeh sab kaise manage kiya, Salar?"

"Kya manage kiya?"

"Jo bhi wahan hai."

"Mujhe nahi pata... yeh sab hota gaya. Agar mujhe maloom hota, to main khud
aapko wahan le jaata. Umeed hai koi masla nahi hua," usne kuch fikr ke saath kaha.

"Kya Salar Sikandar ke walid ko wahan koi masla ho sakta tha?" usne jawab diya.
Salar ko maloom tha ke yeh sawaal nahi tha.

"Tum kaisi shakhsiyat ho, Salar?"

"Mujhe nahi pata... aapko pata hona chahiye, main aapka beta hoon."

"Nahi... main kabhi jaan nahi paya."

Sikandar ne ajeeb lehje mein jawab diya.

Salar ne gehri saans li. "Na main kabhi jaan paya. Main ab bhi apne aap ko samajhne
ki koshish kar raha hoon."

"Tum... tum bohat hi bewaqoof, badtameez aur shaitaan ho, Salar!"

Salar zor se hans diya. "Aap theek keh rahe hain. Main waqai aisa hi hoon. Aur
kuch?"

"Aur yeh... ke main waqai khush-naseeb hoon ke tum mere bete ho." Sikandar ki
awaaz bhar aayi. Ab Salar ki bari thi chup rehne ki.

"Mujhe batao ke school ke mahana kharche kitne hain. Mera daftar tumhe har
mahine cheque bhej diya karega."

348
Salar kuch keh paata, phone band ho chuka tha. Jogging track par phelti andheray
mein, Salar ne mobile phone ki chamakti screen ko dekha. Jab light on hui, to woh
wahin baitha raha aur be-dhyan se track par logon ko dekhta raha. Phir uth kar,
lambe lambe kadmon ke saath track par chal diya.

-------------------------------------

Salar pehli dafa Ramsha se Lahore aane ke ek saal baad mila. Woh London School of
Economics ki graduate thi aur uske bank mein naukri karti thi. Uske walid bank ke
purane customer thay aur Salar unhe achi tarah se jaanta tha.

Ramsha bohat khoobsurat, samajhdar aur khush mizaj thi aur bank join karne ke
chand dinon mein hi usne wahan doston bana liya tha. Ek colleague ke tor par, woh
Salar ke saath bhi achi terms par thi aur uske walid ke lehaz se, Salar uski izzat karta
tha. Bank mein kaam karne wali doosri ladkiyon ke muqable, Ramsha Salar ke saath
zyada ghul-mil gayi thi, lekin usse ye nahi pata tha ke kab usne is rishtey ko zyada
sanjeeda le liya.

Woh us par bohat tawajju dene lagi thi aur aksar uske office mein aati rehti thi.
Office hours ke baad bhi, woh aksar usko phone karti thi. Salar ko uska rawayya kuch
ajeeb laga lekin usne apne shak ko nazarandaz kar diya. Magar, uski taraf se yeh
mutma'ini ek saal baad khatam ho gayi.

----------------------

Salar ne subah apne office mein qadam rakha hi tha ke woh hairan reh gaya. Uski
table par ek bara aur khoobsurat bouquet tha jisme ek card laga tha. Usne apna
briefcase rakha aur card khola.

"Happy birthday to Salar Sikandar — Ramsha Hamdani."

Salar ne gehri saans li: yaqeenan aaj uska birthday tha, lekin Ramsha ko yeh kaise
pata chala? Woh wahan kuch dair khada sochta raha. Phir bouquet ko table par ek
taraf rakhte hue, usne apni jacket utari, kursi ki peeche tang di aur kaam karne baith

349
gaya. Usne bouquet ke neeche ek aur card bhi dekha jo usne khola. Mazmoon
parhne ke baad, usne card ko apni drawer mein rakh diya—use samajh nahi aa rahi
thi ke bouquet aur card par kya reaction dena chahiye. Lekin phir, usne in khayalat
ko jhatak diya aur apne kaam mein masroof ho gaya. Jab woh apne laptop ko set kar
raha tha aur briefcase ko rakh raha tha, Ramsha andar aayi.

"Happy birthday, Salar!" usne andar aate hi kaha.

Usne muskurate hue jawab diya, "Shukriya."

Ramsha ne ek kursi kheench kar uske samne baith gayi. Salar laptop on karne mein
masroof tha.

"Thank you for the bouquet and card too—it was a pleasant surprise," usne kaha, jab
usne apne phone ko computer se lagaya. "Lekin tumhe mere birthday ke baare mein
kaise pata chala?" woh poochh baitha.

"Yeh main tumhe nahi bataungi, mister—mujhe pata karna tha aur main ne kar liya,"
usne pur-fakhr andaaz mein kaha. "Aur waise bhi, doston ko aapas mein aise sawaal
nahi karne chahiye. Agar doston ko aise details ka pata na ho, to wo kis tarah ke
dost hain?"

Salar ki nazar computer screen par thi lekin woh uski baat sun raha tha aur
muskuraya.

"Mujhe yahan poore staff ki taraf se ek demand lekar aayi hoon—hum party chahte
hain! Tumhe aaj raat dinner arrange karna padega."

Salar ne uski taraf dekha. "Ramsha, main apna birthday celebrate nahi karta."

"Kyoon?"

"Bas aise hi..."

"Koi khas wajah?"

"Nahi, bas yeh mera routine nahi hai."

"Accha, pehle tum nahi karte the, lekin is baar tumhe karna padega. Is baar poora
staff celebration chahta hai," usne seedha jawab diya.

350
"Main kisi bhi din, kisi bhi jagah tum sab ke liye party karwa sakta hoon—mere ghar
par ya kisi hotel mein—kisi bhi waqt, jahan tum sab chaho. Lekin birthday celebration
ke tor par nahi," Salar ne kuch sakhti se kaha.

"Accha, iska matlab yeh hai ke tum chahte ho hum tumhare liye party arrange
karein," Ramsha ne jawab diya.

"Maine aisa nahi kaha." Salar hairan reh gaya.

"Agar tum poore staff ke liye party nahi kar sakte, to kam az kam tum mujhe dinner
par le jao."

"Ramsha, main aaj raat kuch doston ke saath busy hoon," Salar ne maazrat ki.

"Koi baat nahi—main bhi join kar loongi," usne foran jawab diya.

"Nahi—yeh theek nahi hoga."

"Kyoon?"

"Kyoonke yeh ek stag party hai aur tum unmein se kisi ko nahi jaanti," usne ek aur
bahana banaya.

"Mujhe samajh aaya," usne kaha. "Phir kal chaleinge?"

"Kal nahi—kisi aur din. Main tumhe bata doonga."

Ramsha naraaz ho gayi; usne mehsoos kiya ke Salar filhal use kahin le jaana nahi
chahta.

"Thik hai," usne khade hote hue kaha.

"Umeed hai ke tumhe meri baat buri nahi lagi," usne use jaate hue dekha.

"Nahi, bilkul bhi nahi. Sab theek hai." Woh muskurai aur room se nikal gayi. Salar
apne kaam mein masroof ho gaya. Usne socha ke yeh birthday party ka mamla ab
khatam ho gaya hai, lekin woh galat tha.

Lunch hour mein uske liye surprise party arrange ki gayi thi. Uske boss, Mr. Paul
Miller ne use warmly greet kiya. Ramsha ne sab tayyari ki thi aur cake aur baqi
cheezon ko dekh kar, Salar ab Ramsha ke iradon ke baare mein fikrmand ho gaya.
Usne pehle bhi apne liking ke baare mein ishara kiya tha aur yeh party uske jazbaat
ko confirm karti thi. Party ke baad, usne takriban ek ghanta office mein Ramsha ke

351
baare mein soch kar guzara: woh samajhne ki koshish kar raha tha ke uski kis ghalti
ki wajah se Ramsha usmein interested ho gayi thi.

Yaqeenan, woh bohat attractive ladki thi aur shayad un sab se behtareen jinse woh
kuch maheenon mein mila tha. Lekin woh nahi chahta tha ke Ramsha uske saath
involve ho. Hal-fil-hal mein, usne uski tawajju ko uske khush mizaji aur dosti ka hissa
samjha tha. Lekin jab woh ghar gaya aur office party mein mile gifts ko khola, to woh
hairan reh gaya. Woh ab bhi in gifts ki nature par hairat mein tha jab Furqan andar
aaya.

Drawing room mein presents dekh kar, usne kaha, "Wow! Aaj tumne kafi treasure
ikattha kar liya hai. Kya main dekh sakta hoon?" Woh baith gaya. Salar ne sir hila
diya. Ek ghari, perfumes, ties—Furqan ne ek ke baad ek gifts khole.

"Yeh tumhari shaadi ke liye kafi collection nahi hai?" Furqan ne muskurate hue kaha.
"Tumhare colleagues ne waqai dil khol kar diya hai!"

"Sirf ek colleague," Salar ne note kiya.

"Yeh sab ek shakhs ne diya hai?" Furqan hairan hua. "Kaun?"

"Ramsha."

Furqan ne apne hont bhinche. "Kya tumhe pata hai ke in sab cheezon ki qeemat mila
kar lagbhag 150,000 rupees banti hai?" usne cheezon par phir se ek nazar daali.

"Yeh ghari akeli hi 50,000 se kam ki nahi ho sakti—koi sirf ek colleague ko itne
mehngi tohfay nahi de sakta. Kya yeh ke tum dono ke darmiyan kuch hai..."

"Kuch bhi nahi hai; kam az kam meri taraf se to nahi. Lekin aaj mujhe fikr hai: mujhe
lagta hai ke Ramsha mujh mein bohat zyada dilchaspi le rahi hai," Salar ne phir se
gifts par nazar daal kar kaha.

"Yeh to bohat acha hai—akhir koi to tumhe interesting samajhta hai," Furqan ne gift
table par rakhte hue kaha. "Tum bohot arsa se bachelor ho. Iss khushi ka kaam is
saal kar lo."

"Jab mera shaadi karne ka irada nahi, to yeh business kyon barhata rahoon?"

"Salar, tum din ba din itne ghair waqayi kyoon ho rahe ho? Tumhe seriously settle
hone ke bare mein sochna chahiye. Kab tak ladkiyon se door bhagte rahoge? Tumhe
apni family shuru karni chahiye. Ramsha bohot achi ladki hai: main unke khandan ko

352
jaanta hoon. Shayad thoda zyada modern hain, lekin ache log hain. Aur agar Ramsha
nahi, to kisi aur se shaadi kar lo. Main is silsile mein tumhari madad kar sakta hoon
ya tum apne walidain se madad le lo, lekin isay ziada dair mat karo. Tumhe is par
seriously sochna chahiye aur kam az kam dusron ke kehne par kuch response dena
chahiye." Furqan ne akhri jumlay par zor diya, Salar ki khamoshi par uska dhyan
dilate hue.

"Yeh tasalli milti hai ke koi statue ke samne speech nahi kar raha," Furqan ne kaha.
"Tumhe kabhi shaadi ke baare mein nahi soojhta?"

"Kisko nahi soojhta?" Salar dheere se bola. "Lekin main shaadi ke baare mein tumhari
tarah nahi soojhta. Chai piyoge?"

"Is akhri jumlay ke bajaaye tum keh sakte the 'Quit your nonsense'." Furqan kafi
naraz tha. Salar ne kandhe uchkate hue, smile ke saath gifts ko ikattha kiya.

-------------------

Ramsha hairat se un packages ko dekhti rahi jo uske samne padhe thay. "Lekin Salar,
yeh tumhare birthday gifts hain!"

Agle din Salar ne sab kuch wapas kar diya tha siwaye ek tie ke; woh Ramsha ke
office mein tha. "Main itne mehngi tohfay kisi se nahi leta. Sirf ek tie kaafi hoti."

"Salar, main apne doston ko aise mehngi tohfay deti hoon," usne samjhaane ki
koshish ki.

"Mujhe yaqeen hai ke deti hogi, lekin main nahi leta. Aur agar tumne aur zyada insist
kiya to main yeh tie bhi wapas kar dunga," Salar ne jawab diya aur uska jawab sunne
ka intezar kiye baghair, room se nikal gaya. Ramsha udasi se use door jaate dekhti
rahi.

---------------------------

353
Us din bhi Salar, mamool ke mutabiq, Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke paas aaya tha. Usne abhi apna
lecture shuru nahi kiya tha ke ek adhe dher ke umar ke aadmi ne usse mukhatib kiya.

"Dr. Sahib, jab kisi ko apna peer-e-kaamil mil jaye, to uski taqdeer badal jati hai."

Salar ne mud kar us aadmi ko dekha: woh kuch dino se yahan aa raha tha.

"Yeh uski naslon ko bhi behtar banata hai. Jab se main yahan aane laga hoon, mujhe
lagta hai ke mujhe ek raasta mil gaya hai. Meri zindagi bilkul uljhan ka shikar thi.
Mere dil mein kuch kehta hai ke mujhe apne peer-e-kaamil mil gaye hain—main
aapko apna rehnuma, apna leader qabool karna chahta hoon."

Puri imaan dari ke saath, usne Dr. Ali ke haath pakad liye. Room mein mukammal
khamoshi thi. Dr. Ali ne uske haathon ko ahista se thapthapaya aur apne haath
wapas kheench liye.

"Taqi Sahib, aaj tak, maine kabhi bhi apni zindagi mein kisi se aise izhar ki umeed
nahi ki. Aapne Pir-e-Kamil ke baare mein baat ki...Pir-e-Kamil kaun hota hai? Aap
kisko Pir-e-Kamil kehte hain? Woh kya karta hai? Aur uski zaroorat kyoon hoti hai?"
Dr. Ali ne bohot sanjeedgi se poocha.

"Aap hi Pir-e-Kamil hain," usne jawab diya.

"Nahi, main nahi hoon," Dr. Ali ne kaha.

"Mujhe aapse rehnumai milti hai," us aadmi ne zor diya.

"Rehnumai to teachers aur walidain se bhi milti hai. Leaders bhi rehnumai karte hain
aur doston se bhi rehnumai milti hai—kya woh sab Pir-e-Kamil hain?"

"Aap gunaah nahi karte." Aadmi ab confused ho gaya.

"Haan, main jaan boojh kar gunaah nahi karta kyoonki mujhe gunaah se dar lagta
hai. Bohot log jo yahan baithe hain woh bhi shayad jaan boojh kar gunaah nahi karte
kyoonki unhe bhi gunaah se dar lagta hai, jaise mujhe. Lekin mujhe nahi pata ke
main anjaane mein kya kar sakta hoon. Bohot mumkin hai ke anjaane mein maine
gunaah kiya ho." Dr. Sibt-e-Ali muskuraya.

"Aapki duaain qubool hoti hain." Aadmi apni baat par qaim tha.

"Walidain ki duaain bhi qubool hoti hain jaise ke woh jo zulm ya majboori ka shikar
hote hain, aur bohot se doosre logon ki bhi."

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"Lekin aapki har dua qubool hoti hai," usne zor diya.

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne sir hilaate hue kaha, "Nahi. Har dua qubool nahi hoti. Bohot saalon
se, main har roz Muslim renaissance ke liye dua kar raha hoon, lekin yeh hota nazar
nahi aata. Bohot aur cheezen hain jin ke liye main har roz dua karta hoon lekin woh
nahi hoti."

"Lekin jo bhi aapke paas apni arzi le kar aata hai uski dua qubool hoti hai."

Dr. Ali ki muskurahat gehri ho gayi. "Shayad, meri aapke liye dua qubool ho gayi ho
lekin yahan bohot se doosre log bhi hain jin ke liye maine dua ki hai lekin woh
qubool nahi hui."

Is baat ka jawab us aadmi ke paas nahi tha.

"Kya koi bata sakta hai ke Pir-e-Kamil kaun hota hai?" Majmooa ek dosre ko dekhne
laga; phir ek ne kaha.

"Koi jo parheizgar, ibadat guzar, aur nek ho."

Dr. Ali ne sir hilaate hue kaha. "Bohot se parheizgar aur ibadat guzar log hain jo apni
namazon mein lafz bhi nahi bhoolte—bohot se log yahan aapke ird-gird baithe hain.
Kya yeh sab Pir-e-Kamil hain?"

"Perfect guide woh hota hai jiska ibadat sirf logon ke liye nahi, balki dil se, sirf Allah
ke liye hota hai. Uski nekie aur parheizgari asal hoti hai, na ke sirf dikhawa," ek aur
shakhs ne kaha.

"Aapke doston ke daira mein, aap zaroor kam az kam ek aise shakhs ko jaante
honge jo asal mein ibadat guzar ho, jiska nekie aur devotion mukammal
bharosemand ho. To kya aisa shakhs ideal guide hai?"

Kuch dair ki khamoshi ke baad, kisi aur ne kaha. "Woh shakhs jo apne alfaaz se
doosron ki zindagi ko badal de."

"Aasr hota hai—kuch log jo kehte hain ya kuch log jo likhte hain, us mein asr hota
hai. Stage par ek actor, apne columns mein ek journalist ka bhi asr hota hai, lekin kya
is se woh perfect guides ban jaate hain?"

"Misali kaamil woh hoga jo mustaqbil ki peghambari kare, jo rohani taqaton ka malik
ho aur mustaqbil ki peshgoi kar sake," ek aur ne kaha.

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"Bohot se logon ko khawab aate hain jo mustaqbil ka ishara dete hain ya kuch aane
wale waqt ke baare mein maloomat dete hain. Kuch log dua karke mustaqbil ki
maloomat hasil karte hain; kuch logon ka sixth sense bohot tez hota hai aur woh
aane wale khatrey ko mehsoos kar lete hain. To Pir-e-Kamil kaun hai?" Dr. Sibt-e-Ali
ne poocha. Khamoshi ke baad usne apna sawal dohraya.

"Pir-e-Kamil kaun ho sakta hai?"

Salar ne Dr. Ali ko uljhan bhari nazar se dekhna shuru kiya. "Kya Dr. Ali ke ilawa koi
ho sakta hai jo perfect guide ho? Agar hai, to kaun ho sakta hai? Kaun tha?" usne
socha.

Yahi khayalat wahan hazir doosron ke zahan mein bhi ghoom rahe thay. Dr. Ali har
chehre ko dekh rahe thay aur dheere dheere unki muskurahat madham pad gayi.

"Pir-e-Kamil woh hai jo kamal ka namoona ho—kamal jo ke uske tamaam khayalat

aur amal ka majmooa ho, woh jo aap log bayan kar rahe hain. Woh jo asal aur paak
ibadat karta ho, jo sharif aur parheizgar ho. Uski har dua qubool hoti hai jab tak
Allah ki marzi ho. Uski baaton mein asr hota hai; woh logon ko rehnumai bhi karta
hai lekin woh ghaib dan nahi hota, woh ek sufi hai. Usko divine revelation milti hai—
jo har kisi ko nahi milti. Allah ke 124,000 paighambaron mein se har ek rehnuma tha,
lekin Pir-e-Kamil woh tha jo Allah ka aakhri paighambar tha, jo tamam paighambaron
ka mohar tha."

"Har insaan ko zindagi mein kisi na kisi marhala par ek peer-e-kaamil ki zarurat hoti
hai. Kabhi kabhi zindagi aise mod par la kar khadi kar deti hai jahan insaan ko lagta
hai ke uski sab arziyan aur duaen—jo hont par hain, jo dil mein hain—wo sunwayi
nahi ja rahi. Uske sajday, uske uthaye huay haath Allah ki rehmat ko apne taraf nahi
la sakte. Lagta hai jaise ek rishte ka link kho gaya hai aur ek aise shakhs ki talash hai
jo apne haath uthaye aur dua kare, jiski baatein Allah tak pohchti hain, jo shakhs jiski
duaen qubool hoti hain aur rad nahi hoti. Phir insaan ideal guide, peer-e-kaamil ki
talash karta hai, is talash mein duniya ka safar karta hai us shakhs ko paane ke liye jo
kamal ke kisi mod par khada ho.

"Yeh kaamil ki talash , pir-e-kaamil ki talash insaan ke irtiqa se le kar aaj tak uske
saath hai. Yeh ek khwahish hai jo Allah ne khud logon ke dil mein daali hai aur agar
yeh na hoti, to log paighambaron par kabhi bhi imaan na late aur na unka paalan
karte. Yeh talash unhe paighambaron tak le gayi jo har dor aur duniya ke har kone

356
mein Allah ka paigham logon tak pohchate rahe. Divine revelations ka silsila Allah ka
aakhri paigham, Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) par khatam ho gaya. Unke baad, unke
followers ko kisi aur guide ya kaamil ki zarurat nahi thi.

"Aaj ke dor mein, ya aane wale waqt mein, kaun hai jo Hazrat Muhammad Mustafa
(PBUH) ke maqam se barh kar ho sakta hai?
Aaj, ya aane wale waqt mein, kaun hai jo paighambar, Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) se
zyada kamal ka dawa kar sakta hai?
Aaj, ya aane wale waqt mein, kaun hai jo apne followers ke liye sifarish ka dawa kar
sakta hai, siwaye Hazrat Muhammad ke?

"Yeh khamoshi jo inkar ka izhar hai sirf ek sawal uthati hai: hum apne peer-e-kaamil,
Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) ke ilawa ideal guide kyoon talash karte hain? Jab hum un
par imaan la chuke hain, to humein doosron par imaan lane ki zarurat kyoon?

"Peer-e-kaamil ke dikhaye huay raaste par chalne ke bajaaye, humein kaun se doosre
raaste apni taraf kheenchte hain? Kya ek Allah, ek Imaan, ek Quran, ek Paighambar
aur unke zindagi ka tareeqa musalmaanon ke liye kaafi nahi? Allah, uske kalam aur
uske paighambar ki rehnumai ke ilawa aur kya hai jo humein is duniya aur aakhirat
mein bachaye? Kaun hamaari duaon ko qubool karega aur humein apni rehmat se
nawazega? Kya koi keh sakta hai ke peer-e-kaamil kis firqe ka hai? Koi nahi keh
sakta."

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne apni baat jari rakhi.

"Woh sirf ek Musalmaan tha; ek Musalmaan jo maanta tha ke agar woh seedha
raasta chalega, to use jannat milayegi aur agar woh usse hat gaya to Allah ke azaab
ka shikar hoga.

"Aur seedha raasta woh hai jo Allah ne apne paighambar Muhammad (PBUH) ke
zariye Quran mein bohot wazeh, saaf aur baylaq alfazon mein dikhaya hai. Jo Allah
ne apne paighambar ke zariye farmaya hai woh karo aur jo mana kiya usse ruk jao.

"Allah, paighambar (PBUH) aur Quran ke baare mein koi ibham nahi hai. Quran ko
dekho aur dekho ke kya tumhe kisi aur paighambar ya perfect guide ka koi wazeh,
saaf zikar milta hai. Talash karte raho, aur agar tumhe aisa kuch na mile, to us dal-dal
se hoshyar raho jismein tum gir rahe ho. Tum apni zindagi ke chand dashton ko is
duniya mein apni aakhirat ki zindagi ko barbad karne mein laga rahe ho—kitni buri

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deal hai yeh! Agar tumhe rehnumai chahiye, to usse Quran mein talash karo; yeh
tumhare tamaam sawalon ke jawab deta hai; yeh tumhe sadharan, naadaan aur la-ilm
nahi rehta. Yeh tumhari haqiqat tumhare samne la deta hai. Kya Allah insaan ko nahi
jaanta, jo uski lakhon makhluqat mein se ek hai?

"Agar tumhari duaen qubool nahi hoti, to zariye aur sifarish dhoondhne mat jao—bas
apne haath uske samne uthao aur apna case pesh karo. Agar usne tumhari dua
qubool kar li, to shukriya ada karo; agar nahi, to sabr karo; lekin tumhe khud koshish
karni hogi. Agar tumhari zindagi mein koi tartib ya raasta nahi, to paighambar
(PBUH) ka namoona iktibaas karo aur unki rehnumai talash karo. Tumhari zaruratein
puri ho jayengi.

"Har shakhs ki izzat karo—har leader, har momin, har buzurg aur shaheed, aur nek
aur parheizgar logon ki. Lekin apni zindagi mein sirf paighambar (PBUH) ka namoona
follow karo kyunki unhone apni marzi se koi hidayat nahi di: jo kuch unhone tum tak
pohchaya wo sirf Allah ki marzi thi, jo unke zariye nazil hui.

"Dr. Sibt-e-Ali kya hai? Usse kaun jaanta hai aur wo kya karta hai? Tum aur chand so
log ya chand hazar, lekin jo peer-e-kaamil (PBUH) hai jiska zikar main kar raha hoon,
usse ek arbo log jaante hain jo unhe apna roohani rehnuma maante hain. Main
pichle kuch saalon se yahi paigham de raha hoon jo Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) ne
1400 saal pehle diya tha. Kya main kuch naya keh raha hoon?"
Dr Sibt-e-Ali chup ho gaye. Samayeen pehle se hi khamosh thay: jaise unhe aik aaina
dikhaya gaya ho aur jo unhone dekha usse woh dar aur pareshan ho gaye.

Bahir aakar, Salar apni gari mein betha aur kaafi dair tak sochta raha. Aakhri parda
bhi uski aankhon se uth gaya tha. Kai saal pehle jab Imama Hashim ne ghar chhor
diya tha baghair nateejay ki parwa kiye, to woh uske jazbe ko samajh nahi paaya tha.
Uske liye yeh aik bewaqoofi thi. Baad mein usse samajh aane laga. Usse pata chala
ke ek shakhs waqai mein Nabi (PBUH) se itni mohabbat aur izzat kar sakta hai ke sab
kuch chor sakta hai.

Jab usne Islam aur iski tareekh ke bare mein zyada seekha, to usse maloom hua ke
Nabi (PBUH) ke mohtaram sahaba ne bhi deen ke liye bohot si qurbaniyan di thi.
Hazrat Bilal (RA) se lekar Hazrat Owais Qarni (RA) tak, har dor mein aise bohot se
afraad thay jo Islam ke liye sab kuch qurban kar gaye. Salar Sikandar ne tasleem kiya
ke Nabi Muhammad (PBUH) ki mohabbat ek itni taqatwar kashish thi jo kisi ko bhi

358
kuch bhi chorne par majboor kar sakti thi. Usne kabhi is jazbe ka tajziya nahi kiya tha
aur aaj, wahan baithay, woh pehli dafa is par ghoro-fikar kar raha tha.

Ye sirf Nabi (PBUH) ki mohabbat nahi thi jisne Imama Hashim ko apne ghar se door
chalne par majboor kiya tha: usne nek raasta dekha tha, seedha raasta, aur uski taraf
rukh kar liya tha. Ye wohi raasta tha jo wo saalon se dhoond raha tha, woh raasta jo
Nabi (PBUH) ke sahaba ne chuna tha.

Imama Hashim ne kai saal pehle Nabi Muhammad (PBUH) ko apna Behtareen
Rehnuma maana tha. Nabi (PBUH) se mohabbat aur izzat ne usse hosla diya tha.
Salar aaj tak Nabi Muhammad (PBUH) ko apna behtareen rehnuma nahi maan saka
tha, aur Imama ne ye sab kuch apne aap kiya. Usse kisi ke sahare ya rehnumai ki
zaroorat nahi thi jaise Salar ko thi.

Aakhri aath saalon mein, Salar ne Imama ke liye har mumkin jazba mehsoos kiya
tha—tana, mazaq, pashemani, nafrat, mohabbat, sab kuch—but us din, usne uske liye
jalan mehsoos ki. Woh kya thi, sirf ek aurat? Aik aam aurat, jannat ki hoor nahi thi.
Uska kya muqabla tha Salar Sikandar se?

'Kya uska IQ level mere jaisa hai?' 'Kya usne meri tarah kamiyabi haasil ki hai?' 'Kya
woh mere jaisa kaam kar sakti hai?' 'Kya uska naam meri tarah mashhoor ho sakta
hai?' 'Woh kuch bhi nahi thi, uske paas kuch bhi nahi tha, aur phir bhi usko sab kuch
plat mein rakh kar de diya gaya. Aur main, jise behtareen IQ level mila, usse dekh
nahi saka jo mere samne tha.'

Aage andheray mein ghurte huye, aur aansoo bhari aankhon se, Salar apne aap se
keh raha tha. 'Mujhe sirf yeh salahiyat di ke main bahir nikaloon aur duniya ko fatah
karoon: woh duniya jo ke bina kisi maqsad aur mayar ki hai...woh duniya...' Woh ruk
gaya. Woh Imama se bohot naraz tha. Aath saal pehle, woh usse gaaliyan deta, use
'bitch' kehta jaise wo kehta tha; lekin aaj, itne arsey ke baad, wo uske bare mein kuch
ghalat nahi keh sakta tha—woh himmat nahi kar sakta tha.

Aakhir koi kaise ek aurat ke bare mein bura keh sakta hai jo insaniyat ke raste par
khud se aage hai?

Usne apni aankhon se chashma utara aur apni aankhein ponchhi. Usse apni haar
mehsoos hui. 'Behtareen Rehnuma (PBUH)...sachayi ka raasta.' Is muqam par aane

359
mein usse aath saal lag gaye, lekin uski talash khatam ho gayi thi—usne jawab paa
liya tha.

--------------------

Wo dono restaurant mein thay. Ramsha ne khaas taur par is mauqe ke liye tayar hui
thi. Woh bohot khush thi aur uski khushi uski shakhsiyat se zahir ho rahi thi. Salar bhi
isse mehsoos kar sakta tha. Salar ne waiter se menu card liya lekin usne usay band
kar ke table par rakh diya. Ramsha ne hairat se usay dekha.

"Lunch meri taraf se hai, lekin menu tum tay karogi," usne muskurahat ke saath kaha.

"Thik hai," Ramsha ne chode muskurate hue jawab diya. Jab woh menu dekh rahi thi,
Salar idhar udhar dekhta raha. Ramsha ne order diya aur waiter chala gaya.

"Tumhara lunch ka invitation mere liye bohot hairani ka sabab bana," usne kaha.
"Tumne pehle kabhi aisa nahi kiya—kabhi bhi nahi. Haqeeqat yeh hai ke tumne mere
invitations ko bhi mana kar diya."

"Haan, lekin ab kuch baatein hain jo humein discuss karni hain aur isi wajah se maine
tumhe yahan bulaya," usne jawab diya.

Ramsha ne ghoor kar usay dekha. "Kuch baatein karni hain? Kya baatein?"

"Pehlay khana khalo. Baad mein baat karenge," Salar ne talne ki koshish ki.

"Lekin jab tak hum khana khatam karenge aur khana khate hain, to bohot dair ho
chuki hogi. Kya yeh behtar nahi hoga ke hum abhi baat kar len?" usne besabr se
pucha.

"Nahi, abhi behtar nahi. Khana khatam hone ke baad," usne aakhri lehje mein kaha.

Ramsha ne israr nahi kiya. Dono choti moti baatain karte rahe. Phir khana lag gaya
aur dono ne khana shuru kiya. Unhe lagbhag ek ghanta laga aur phir Salar ne coffee
order ki.

"Mujhe lagta hai ke ab baat karni chahiye," Ramsha ne pehla ghoont lete hue kaha.

Salar bohot sanjeeda lag raha tha: sir jhukae, woh apni coffee hila raha tha. Jab
Ramsha boli, to usne sir utha ke usay dekha.

360
"Mujhe tumhare bheje hue card ke baare mein baat karni thi jo tumne do din pehle
bheja tha."

Ramsha gehra surkh ho gayi. Do din pehle jab Salar ghar pohoncha, to ek bouquet
aur card uska intezar kar rahe thay. Woh ek hafta Hong Kong official kaam ke liye
gaya tha. Phool aur card Ramsha ki taraf se thay.

"Tumhe andaza nahi ke main tumhe dekh kar kitna khush honga," Salar ne card
parha, uska dimagh pur sukoon ho gaya. Uski sabse buri dar ko sach sabit hogaya
tha—Ramsha ne uske liye apne jazbaat ka izhar kar diya tha. Agle din office mein
usne card ka zikar nahi kiya, lekin weekend par usne usay lunch ke liye bulaya. Yeh
zaroori tha ke yeh baatain uske saath wazeh karun.

"Kya card ne tumhe naraz kiya?" usne pucha.

"Nahi—yeh paigham tha."

Ramsha kuchh sharminda ho gayi. "Mujhe afsos hai! Lekin Salar, main bas...main bas
tumhe batana chahti thi ke mujhe tumhari kitni yaad aayi."

Salar ne coffee ka ek ghoont liya.

"Mujhe tum pasand ho. Main tumse shaadi karna chahti hoon," Ramsha ne ek choti
khamoshi ke baad kaha. "Ho sakta hai ke yeh paishkash tumhe ajeeb lage, lekin main
kuch arse se tumse is bare mein baat karna chahti thi. Main tumse mazaq nahi kar
rahi—jo kuchh maine card par likha, woh sach hai jo main tumhare liye mehsoos
karti hoon."

Salar ne usay apni baat mukammal karne di. Usne coffee ka cup neeche rakh diya.

"Lekin main tumse shaadi nahi karna chahta."

"Kyoon?"

"Kya yeh jawab dena zaroori hai?" usne pucha.

"Nahi, asal mein nahi, lekin isme kya nuksan hai?"

"Tum mujhse kyoon shaadi karna chahti ho?" usne jawab mein pucha.

"Kyunke tum mukhtalif ho."

Salar ne gehra saans liya.

361
"Baaki mardon se tum farq ho. Tumhara maqam hai; tum tameezdar aur tehzeeb
yafta ho."

"Main aisa nahi hoon."

"Sabit karo," usne usay challenge kiya.

"Main kar sakta hoon lekin nahi karunga," usne dusra ghoont lete hue kaha. "Har
aadmi Salar Sikandar se behtar hai."

"Kis tarah?"

"Har tarah..."

"Main is baat ko nahi maanta."

"Tumhara maanna ya na maanna haqeeqat ko nahi badlega."

"Mujhe maloom hai. Main pichle dedh saal se tumhare saath kaam kar rahi hoon."

"Mardon ke baare mein itne kam arse mein koi faisla karna theek nahi."

"Jo tum kahoge usse mere tumhare bare mein raaye nahi badlegi." Ramsha apne
khayalat par qayem thi.

"Tumhe apne halqon mein mujh se behtar log milenge. Tumhare khandani back
ground ko dekhte hue."

"Bas apne bare mein baat karo."

"Ramsha, main kisi aur se mohabbat karta hoon," usne aakhirkaar iqrar kar liya. Pehli
baar is guftagu mein, uska chehra zard par gaya.

"Tum...tumne mujhe kabhi nahi bataya."

Salar ne narmi se muskuraya. "Hum kabhi itne ghareeb nahi hue."

"Kya tum usse shaadi kar rahe ho?"

Dono ke darmiyan lambi khamoshi thi.

"Yeh mumkin hai ke main usse shaadi na kar sakoon kuch masail ki wajah se," usne
kaha.

"Mujhe tumhari baat samajh nahi aa rahi. Tum kisi se mohabbat karte ho aur yeh
jaante ho ke tum usse shaadi nahi kar sakte?"

362
"Kuch aisa hi hai."

"Salar, tum itne jazbaati nahi ho. Tum aise kaise baatein keh sakte ho, jab ke tum
itne practical shakhs ho?" Ramsha ne mazaq udane wale lehje mein kaha.

"Suppose tum usse shaadi mein kamiyab nahi hue, to kya tum kabhi shaadi nahi
karoge?"

"Nahi."

Usne sar hilaya. "Main is baat ko nahi maanta!"

"Lekin yeh sach hai. Agar kabhi main shaadi karne ka sochoon bhi to yeh das ya
pandrah saal baad hoga—aur yeh mumkin hai ke main itne saal baad zinda bhi na
rahoon," usne rukhe lehje mein kaha, jabke usne waiter ko bulaya.

"Ramsha, main pasand karunga ke aaj ki guftagu ke baad aise kisi maamle ka zikar
dobara na ho humare darmiyan. Hum achay colleagues hain aur main chahta hoon
ke hamara rishta isi had tak rahe. Apna waqt mujh par zaya mat karo—main wo nahi
hoon jo tum mujhe samajhti ho."

Waiter bill le kar aaya; Ramsha, khayalon mein ghum, Salar ko bill ada karte dekhti
rahi.

----------------

Salar office se bahar kuch kaam ke silsile mein tha. Railway crossing par traffic ki
bheer dekh kar, usne door se hi gaari ghumai. Uska waqt zaya nahi karna chahta tha
traffic jam mein phas kar.

Usne reverse kiya aur doosra mor liya. Yeh aik side wali gali thi aur kaafi sun-san thi.
Usne mushkil se thoda faasla tay kiya tha jab usne dekha ek boorhi aurat phootpath
par baithi hui thi. Uske kapdon aur aam haalat se lag raha tha ke woh kisi acha
khandaan se hai. Usne dekha ke woh sona ki chudiyan bhi pehni hui thi, aur usay dar
tha ke is sunsan raste par woh kisi ke laalach ka nishana ban sakti hai. Usne apni
gaari uske kareeb roki aur gaari rok di.

Us boorhi aurat ka gora rang surkh ho gaya tha aur woh sans phooli hui lag rahi thi.
Shayad woh apni saans bahal karne ke liye baithi thi.

363
"Assalam alaikum Ammaji! Kya masla hai? Aap yahan kyoon baithi hain?" Salar ne
apni sunglasses utaar kar aur gaari ki khidki se dekh kar pucha.

"Beta, mujhe rickshaw nahi mil raha," us aurat ne jawab diya.

Salar ko uski baat sun kar hairat hui. Yeh koi main road nahi thi. Yeh aik residential
area ki side street thi aur yahan rickshaw milne ka koi imkan nahi tha.

"Ammaji! Aapko yahan rickshaw nahi milega. Aapko kahan jana hai?"

Us aurat ne sheher ke aik area ka naam liya. Yeh bilkul bhi mumkin nahi tha ke Salar
usay wahan chor kar aata.

"Aap mere saath aaiye. Main aapko main road par chor dunga aur wahan se aapko
rickshaw mil jayega." Salar ne gaari ka pichla darwaza khola aur gaari se neeche utar
gaya.

Ammaji kaafi pareshan lag rahi thi aur Salar ne foran uski bechaini mehsoos kar li.

"Ammaji! Aapko darne ki zaroorat nahi. Main ek izzatdaar shakhs hoon, main aapko
nuqsan nahi pahunchaoon ga. Main sirf aapki madad karna chahta hoon kyunke is
road par ab aapko rickshaw nahi milega; yeh road sunsan hai aur aapke paas zevarat
hain. Koi aapko nuqsan pahunchaa sakta hai."

Salar ne naram lehje mein uski pareshani door karne ki koshish ki. Us aurat ne apni
glasses theek kiye, apni chudiyan dekhi aur Salar se kaha, "Ab... yeh sab zevar naqli
hain."

"Chalo, yeh bohot acha hai, lekin koi isay galat samajh sakta hai. Koi aapse nahi
poochega ke yeh asli hain ya naqli," Salar ne uske jhoot ko nazarandaaz karte hue
kaha.

Woh kuch dair sochti rahi, aur Salar ko dair ho rahi thi.

"Thik hai, Ammaji, agar aap nahi jana chahti to..."

Usne gaari ki taraf wapas murna shuru kiya. Ammaji ne bolna shuru kiya.

"Nahi, nahi. Main tumhare saath chalti hoon; waise bhi, mere pair dard kar rahe
hain." Usne uthne ki koshish ki, apne pairo par zor de kar.

Salar ne uska haath pakar kar usay uthane mein madad ki, pichla darwaza khola aur
usay gaari mein bithaya.

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Usne side street ko paar kiya aur jaldi se main road par aa gaya. Woh rickshaw ki
talash kar raha tha lekin koi rickshaw wahan nahi tha. Woh dheere dheere gaari chala
raha tha, traffic mein free rickshaw ko dekhte hue.

"Aapka naam kya hai, beta?" usne pucha.

"Salar."

"Slaar?" usne dohra kar tasdeek ki tarah pucha. Usne bemani si muskurahat di,
kyunke pehli dafa usne apna naam ghalat suna tha.

Isay theek karna bekaar tha, kyunke woh aik Punjabi aurat thi jo mushkil se uske
saath Urdu mein baat kar rahi thi.

"Haan," Salar ne tasdeek ki.

"Yeh kya naam hai, aur iska matlab kya hai?" usne achanak dilchaspi se pucha.

Salar ne ab Punjabi mein apne naam ka matlab usay samjhaya. Ammaji is se khush
ho gayi ke usne Punjabi mein jawab diya, aur us se Punjabi mein baat karne lagi.

Salar ka naam ka matlab jaan ne ke baad, usne kaha, "Meri bari bahu ka beta paida
hua hai."

Usay hairat hui. Yeh uske zehan mein nahi aaya ke uska naam jaan ne ke baad woh
yeh baat kahegi. "Mubarak ho," yeh bas itna hi keh paya.

"Haan, shukriya." Usne khushi se uski mubarak baad qabool ki.

"Meri bahu ne mujhe phone kiya: 'Ammi, please koi naam suggest karein.' Kya main
usay aapka naam de doon?"

Hairat se usne piche ke aaine mein usay dekha, "Haan, zaroor."

"Ab, yeh masla hal ho gaya."

Ammaji, kaafi aaraam se, apni glasses utaar kar apni badi chador ke kinare se saaf
karne lagi. Salar ko abhi tak koi rickshaw nahi mila tha.

"Aapki umar kitni hai?" usne wahi se guftagu shuru ki.

Usne apni umar batayi.

"Kya aapki shaadi hui hai?"

365
Yeh sawaal Salar ko soch mein daal diya. Usne kehna chaha "Haan" lekin samjha ke
agar aisa kaha to aik silsila-e-sawaalat shuru ho jayega. Usne iska inkar karne ka
faisla kiya aur yeh uske din ka sabse bara ghalti sabit hui.

"Nahi."

"Kyoon nahi?"

"Bas aise hi—kabhi socha nahi," usne jhoot bola.

"Acha." Kuch dair khamoshi rahi. Salar dua kar raha tha ke koi rickshaw aa jaye: usay
dair ho rahi thi.

"Aap kya kaam karte hain?"

"Main aik bank mein kaam karta hoon."

"Kis tarah ka kaam?"

Salar ne apni designation batayi—usne samjha ke yeh usay samajh nahi aaye gi.

Lekin woh hairan hua jab usne jawab diya, "matlab aik officer na, hai na?"

Salar zor se hans pada—koi bhi isse behtar uska kaam nahi samjha sakta tha. "Haan,
Ammaji—ha ek officer."

"Kitne taleem yafta ho?" Ammaji ne pucha.

"Sola grades." Is martaba Salar ka jawab unki samajh ke mutabiq tha. Ammaji ka
jawab aur bhi hairan kun tha.

"Sola grades—iska kya matlab hai? Kya tumhare paas MBA degree hai ya MA in
Economics?"

Salar ne achanak usay dekha. Woh apne aaine se usay dekh rahi thi.

"Tumhein MBA ya MA in Economics ke baare mein pata hai?" woh sach mein hairan
tha.

"Ab, main kyun nahi janungi? Mera bara beta yahin Pakistan se MA Economics ki
degree hasil ki; phir woh England gaya apna MBA karne. Uski biwi hi woh hai jisne
beta paida kiya."

Salar ne lamba saans liya.

"To, tumne abhi tak mujhe nahi bataya..."

366
Salar ko yaad hi nahi raha ke usne kya pucha tha.

"Tumhari taleem ke baare mein," usne baat jari rakhi.

"Mere paas MBA degree hai."

"Kahan se?"

"America se."

"Bahut acha. Aur tumhare walidain—kya woh zinda hain?"

Salar ne haan mein jawab diya. Phir usne uske behan bhaiyon ke baare mein pucha:
sawaal khatam hone ka naam nahi le rahe thay. Salar ko koi rasta nahi mil raha tha.

"Paanch."

"Kitni behanein aur kitne bhai?"

"Teein bhai aur ek behan."

"Kitne shadi shuda hain?"

"Mere siwa sab."

"Kya tum sabse chote ho?"

"Nahi. Main choutha hoon—ek chota bhai hai."

Pehli dafa, Salar ne apne faislay par pachtaya ke usne is boorhi aurat ki madad karne
ka impulsive faisla kiya.

"Kya uski bhi shadi ho gayi?"

Jab Salar ne haan kaha, to usne pucha, "To phir tumhari shaadi kyun nahi hui? Kya
koi mohabbat thi ya kuchh?"

Salar waqai hairan reh gaya. Kya woh kisi tarah ki raaz daan thi? Usne uska sawal
nazarandaaz karne ki koshish ki. "Humein rickshaw nahi mil raha, to apna address
batayein, main aapko khud chhor deta hoon." Usay waqai dair ho rahi thi aur koi aur
transport na hone ki wajah se woh usay raste mein chhor nahi sakta tha.

Usne address diya. Salar ko kuch samajh nahi aaya, to usne ek traffic constable ke
paas gaari roki aur us se raasta pucha. Usne rasta samjhaya; Salar aage barh gaya.

"To, tumne mujhe nahi bataya ke kya koi mohabbat thi jo roknay wali thi."

367
Salar ne socha ke usay apne aap ko phansi lagani chahiye. Woh aurat apne pichle
sawaal ko nahi bhooli thi jabke woh isse chutkara paane ke liye usay poora raasta
chhorne ke liye tayar tha.

"Nahi, Ammaji, aisa koi chakkar nahi tha." Is martaba usne bohot sanjeeda lehje mein
jawab diya.

"Alhamdolillah!" Usay samajh nahi aaya ke is lafz ko kis context mein istemal kiya
gaya tha. Ab woh uske walidain ke baare mein sawalat kar rahi thi, har tarah ki
tafseelat jaan'na chahti thi. Salar waqai ek ajeeb-o-ghareeb surat-e-haal mein phas
gaya tha.

Sabse bura tab hua jab woh us ilake mein pohoncha jahan woh rehti thi: usne usay
apne ghar ka raasta batane ko kaha.

"Acha, main yahan rehti hoon lekin mujhe raasta nahi pata."

Woh heran reh gaya. "Phir main aapko ghar kaise chhoroon bina raasta jaane?"

Usne ghar ka naam aur number bataya.

"Nahi, nahi. Mujhe street ka naam ya number batayein."

Usne landmarks batane shuru kiye. "Wahan kone par ek mithai ki dukaan hai...yeh
bohot chori gali hai...Parvez Sahib ka ghar bhi hai—woh hi shakhs jis ka beta
Germany mein shadi kar ke aaya hai pichle hafte. Uski pehli biwi yahin rehti hai, aur
jab usne dusri shadi ke bare mein suna to woh roti rahi."

Woh signposts dikhane ke bajaye doosri directions mein baat karne lagi.

Salar ne road ke kinare gaari roki. "Ammaji, aapke shauhar ka naam kya hai? Mujhe
apne ghar aur street ke baare mein kuch tafseel dein. Main aapko is tarah ghar nahi
chhor sakta."

"Log mujhe Saeeda Amma kehte hain. Mera bechara shauhar das saal pehle guzar
gaya aur log usay bhool gaye hain. Main ne aapko bataya tha ke jis street mein main
rehti hoon woh bohot chori hai. Teen din pehle, unhone wahan ke do naliyon ke
dhakkan badle hain—bilkul naye aur cement se bhar diye hain. Har dusre maheene
koi un dhakkano ko churane le jata tha, lekin ab woh mehfooz hain."

Salar ne bechani se saans bhari.

368
"Kya mujhe logon se poochhna chahiye ke naye drain covers wali gali kidhar hai?
Mujhe wahan kisi mashhoor shakhsiyat ka naam bataiye."

"Wahan Murtaza Sahib hain jinka beta kal subah apni taang torr baitha."

"Ammaji, yeh koi tareef nahi hai."

Woh is baat par gussa ho gayi. "Bhai, log roz taang nahi tortay—yeh har ghar mein
aam nahi hota!"

Salar gaari se utar kar aas-paas ki dukaano mein gaya, yeh umeed le kar ke uske diye
hue 'landmarks' ke zariye uska ghar dhoondh sake.

Usne mehsoos kiya ke yeh kam az kam aaj ke din ke doran mumkin nahi hai.

Woh na umeed ho kar wapas aaya.

"Kya aapke ghar mein telephone hai?" usne gaari mein wapas aate hue pucha.

"Haan, hai."

Salar ne sukoon ki saans li. "Mujhe number batayein," usne mobile phone on karte
hue kaha.

"Yeh mujhe nahi pata," Saeeda Amma ne jawab diya. Salar ne maayusi se kaha,
"Aapko apna phone number nahi pata?"

"Beta, main mushkil se telephone istemal karti hoon. Mere betay aur doosray
rishtedaar khud mujhe call karte hain; aur agar mujhe kisi se baat karni hoti hai, to
meri beti number dial karti hai."

"Tum Model Town kis se milne gayi thi?" Salar ko achanak ek khayal aaya.

"Mere kuch rishtedaar wahan rehte hain. Main apne potay ki paidaish ki khushi mein
mithai bantne gayi thi," usne fakhar se jawab diya.

"Thik hai," Salar ne thoda sukoon mehsoos karte hue kaha. "Wahan ka address kya
hai?"

"Mujhe nahi pata."

Salar bohot pareshan ho gaya. "Phir tum wahan kaise pohonchi?" usne aakhirkar
pucha.

369
"Dekho, jab mujhe kahin jana hota hai, mere padosi ke bachay mujhe chhod aate
hain. Unhein sab addresses pata hain; woh yeh kaam pichle das saalon se kar rahe
hain. Phir Bilal mujhe wapas le aata hai. Woh bhi hamare ilake mein das saal pehle
rehte thay, isliye sab unke ghar ko jaante hain."

Usne continue kiya, "Aaj yeh hua ke ghar par sirf naukarani thi. Main kuch dair
wahan baithi rahi lekin jab unke wapas aane ka koi nishan nahi mila, to maine khud
ghar wapas aane ka faisla kiya. Aur Allah ka shukar hai, mujhe tum mil gaye."

"Ammaji, aap rickshaw wale ko kya address deti?" Salar ko uski aqal par hairani hui.

"Wahi jo maine tumhein diya!"

"Tum kabhi ghar wapis pahunchi ho is tarah ke directions ke saath?" usne udaasi se
pucha jab woh gaari ko reverse kar ke main road ki taraf mod raha tha.

"Nahi, kabhi nahi… Mujhe zaroorat hi nahi padi," usne pur sukoon lehje mein jawab
diya. Uski sukoonat waqai qabil-e-rashk thi.

"Ab kahan ja rahe ho?" Saeeda Amma zyada dair chup nahi reh sakti thi.

"Main tumhein wapas le ja raha hoon jahan se tumhein mila tha. Ghar isi road par
hona chahiye. Kya tumne kahin mod liya tha?" usne rearview mirror mein dekhte hue
pucha.

"Nahi, maine kahin nahi moda," usne naraz lehje mein jawab diya. Salar ne uski
narazgi note nahi ki. Usne yeh socha ke ghar main road par locate karna zyada asaan
hoga bajaye inner lanes mein.

"Kya tum cigarette peete ho?" usne khamoshi tod di. Salar thoda chonk gaya. Jab
usne mirror mein dekha, woh bhi usay dekh rahi thi.

"Main? Uh, nahi." Usne sawaal ko theek se samjha nahi tha.

"Koi aur adat waghera?"

Sawal se zyada uska informal style usay hairat mein daal gaya. "Yeh kyun pooch rahi
ho?"

"Bas aise hi. Tum yeh expect nahi kar sakte ke main poora raasta chup rahoon," usne
apni pareshani ka izhar kiya.

"Yeh tumhein lagta hai ke main nasha karta hoon?" usne pucha.

370
"Nahi, bilkul nahi… main bas curious thi. To tum nahi karte?"

Salar uske defensive style par hans pada. "Nahi, main nahi karta," usne mukhtasir
jawab diya.

Woh ek traffic signal par ruk gaye.

"Koi girlfriend hai?" Salar ko laga ke usne galat suna. Usne ghoom kar pucha,
"Tumne kya kaha?"

"Maine pucha ke kya tumhari koi girlfriend hai," usne akhri do lafz par zor dete hue
jawab diya.

Salar zor se hans pada. "Kya tumhein pata hai girlfriend kya hoti hai?"

Saeeda Amma ne is sawal par bura mana. "Kyun nahi! Mere do betay hain aur tum
expect karte ho ke mujhe pata nahi hoga girlfriend kya hoti hai. Jab woh pardes
padhne gaye, mere shauhar ne unhe warning di thi ke koi girlfriend na rakhna. Woh
har mahine ghar call karte thay."

Signal green ho gaya aur Salar ne accelerator dabaya. Saeeda Amma apni guftagu
jari rakhi.

"Main unhein kehti thi ke kasam khao ke unki koi girlfriend nahi hai. Jab tak unki
shaadi nahi hui, woh mujhe kasam khate thay—even pehle salam karne se pehle,"
usne fakhar se kaha. "Mere betay bohot farmabardar hain; unhone wahan kisi larki ke
saath involve nahi hue."

"Kya tumne unki shaadi apni marzi se karwai?" Salar ne poocha.

"Nahi, unhone apni marzi se wahan shaadi ki," usne bilkul aam lehje mein jawab diya.

Salar apni hansi rok nahi saka.

"Kya baat hai?" usne sanjeedgi se poocha.

"Kuch nahi. Kya tumhari bahuain European hain?"

"Nahi, woh Pakistani hain lekin wahan rehti hain. Woh mere beton ke saath kaam
karti thi. Lekin, tumne kyun hasa?"

"Yeh kuch khaas nahi."

"Tumne mujhe nahi bataya… koi girlfriend..."

371
Salar ne beech mein roka. "Nahi, Saeeda Amma, koi girlfriend bhi nahi."

"Mashallah, Mashallah!" Salar ko phir samajh nahi aaya ke is exclamation ka kya

context tha.

"Kya tumhara apna ghar hai?"

"Nahi, yeh kiraye ka hai."

"Koi naukar?"

"Nahi, live-in naukar nahi, bas part-time wale jo safai karte hain."

"Aur yeh gaari to tumhari apni hogi?"

"Haan."

"Aur kitna kamata ho? Tumhari salary kitni hai?"

Salar mechanikally uske sawalat ka jawab de raha tha, achanak woh apne qadmon
par ruk gaya. Usne foran samjha nahi ke yeh guftagu kis taraf ja rahi thi.

"Saeeda Amma, tum yahan akeli kyun rehti ho? Apne beton ke saath kyun nahi chali
jaati?"

"Haan, yahi mera irada hai. Pehle mujhe nahi jana tha, lekin jab meri beti ki shaadi
ho jayegi, main pardes chali jaungi. Main yahan akeli rehne se thak gayi hoon."

Salar ab wapas us road par tha jahan se usne Saeeda Amma ko uthaya tha.

"Mainne tumhe yahan se uthaya tha. Ab batayein ke is road par konsa ghar tha jo
tum visit kar rahi thi." Usne gaari dheere chali aur apni daayen taraf ke ghar dekh
raha tha.

"Agar tum number nahi jaanti, to tumhe ghar pehchan lena chahiye."

Saeeda Amma gharon ko dekh rahi thi. "Haan, haan… main ghar pehchan sakti
hoon."

Usne ghar ka waisa hi vague description dena shuru kiya jaise apna address diya tha.
Woh road ke aakhir tak pohonch gaye aur woh ghar nahi pehchan saki.

Salar ne Bilal ke walid ka naam liya aur road par chalne laga, kisi se unka aur Saeeda
Amma ka pata lagane ki umeed se.

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Aadhi ghante baad, usne har darwaza khatkhataya lekin kisi ne bhi us naam ko nahi
pehchana.

"Kya tumhe uska naam sahi se yaad hai?" usne usay poocha. Woh bilkul thak chuka
tha.

"Haan, bilkul. Main uska naam kyun bhool jaungi?" Usne bura mehsoos kiya.

"Par is naam ka koi banda is road par nahi rehta, aur na hi yahan koi aapko jaanta
hai," Salar ne gaari mein wapas baithte hue kaha.

"To phir us gali ko dekho," Saeeda Amma ne kareebi gali ki taraf ishara karte hue
kaha.

"Lekin aapne kaha tha ke yeh isi road par hai."

"Maine kab kaha tha?" usne itiraz kiya.

"Maine pucha tha ke kya aapne is road se kahin mor liya tha aur aapne kaha tha ke
nahi liya," Salar ne usay yaad dilaya.

"Haan, maine yeh kaha tha, lekin 'mor' kya hota hai?"

Salar ne usse poocha, "Kya aap yahan kisi aur road ya street se aayi thi, kya aapne
yahan mor liya?"

"Oh! To yeh tumhara matlab tha," usne aram se kaha. "Main yahan kyun baithi thi?
Main thak gayi thi, chalte chalte. Main is patli gali mein chal kar kaise thak sakti
hoon?"

Salar ne gaari start ki. Yeh din waqai kharab tha. "Kis gali se aap yahan aayi thi?"
Gaari aage barh rahi thi.

"Mujhe lagta hai...," usne idhar-udhar dekha. "Yeh wali," usne daawa kiya.

Salar ko yakin tha ke yeh woh nahi thi; bawajood iske usne us taraf mur gaya. Yeh
waazeh ho gaya tha ke aaj ka din bekaar hi guzrega. Agle ek ghante aur aadh me,
usne Saeeda Amma ke saath mil kar roads ko dhoondha, lekin koi kamiyaabi nahi
mili. Door se woh daawa karti ke usne ghar dhoondh liya, lekin nazdeek aane par
kehti, "Nahi, nahi, yeh nahi hai."

Aakhirkaar, usne us colony ko chhor diya aur us ilake mein wapas le aaya jahan
Saeeda Amma kehti thi ke uska ghar hai. Ek aur ghanta ya zyada is search mein

373
barbaad ho gaya aur ab shaam ho gayi thi. Poore waqt, jabke woh idhar-udhar phir
raha tha, Saeeda Amma aram se gaari mein baithi rahi.

"Mil gaya?" usne pucha jab woh wapas aaya.

"Nahi, ab andhera ho raha hai aur is waqt dhoondhna bekaar hai. Main police station
mein report karta hoon tumhare bare mein. Tumhari beti ya padosi police se rabta
karenge agar tum ghar nahi pahunchi. Woh tumhare liye aayenge," Salar ne gaari
dubara start karte hue kaha.

"Bechari Amina pareshan ho rahi hogi." Saeeda Amma ne apni beti ke liye fikr ka
izhar kiya. Salar ka mann hua ke usay bata de ke uski pareshani uski beti se zyada
hai, lekin usne bina kuch kahe police station ka rukh kiya. Report file karne ke baad,
woh utha aur Saeeda Amma bhi uth gayi.

"Baithiye, please. Aap yahan rahengi," usne usay kaha.

"Nahi. Hum yahan kaha rakhenge? Please unhe apne saath le jayein. Agar koi humse
rabta kare, to hum aapka pata de denge," inspector ne kaha.

"Lekin main unhe aapko supurd karna chahta hoon," Salar ne etiraz kiya.

"Dekhiye, woh ek boorhi aurat hain. Agar koi unhe yahan talash karne na aaye, to
hum unhe raat bhar kaha rakhenge? Aur agar aur din guzr gaye...?" inspector ne
wazahat di.

Saeeda Amma ne usay mukammal baat karne nahi di. "Mujhe yahan nahi rehna. Beta,
main tumhare saath chalungi. Tum expect karte ho ke main in mardon ke saath
yahan baithungi?" usne Salar ki taraf dekhte hue kaha, jo usay pareshani se dekh
raha tha.

"Lekin main akela rehta hoon..." woh kehne hi wala tha jab usay Furqan ke ghar ka
khayal aaya. "Thik hai, chalo," usne ek lambi saans lete hue kaha.

Woh gaari ke paas aaya aur Furqan ka mobile number dial kiya. Woh uske liye raat
bhar rehne ka intizam karna chahta tha. Furqan abhi hospital mein tha; Salar ne usay
surat-e-haal se agah kiya.

"Nosheen gaon gayi hai," Furqan ne usay inform kiya. "Lekin yeh koi masla nahi hona
chahiye. Main thodi dair mein aata hoon aur usay apne apartment le jaoonga. Woh

374
ek boorhi aurat hai, koi jawan aurat nahi, isliye fikr ki koi baat nahi. Tum zyada hi
ehtiyat barat rahe ho."

"Nahi, baat yeh nahi—main uski rahat ke bare mein soch raha tha. Usay ajeeb
mehsoos nahi hona chahiye," Salar ne jawab diya.

"Nahi, usay ajeeb nahi lagega, yaar! Us se poochho—agar usay pareshani ho, to main
usay Alam Sahib ke ghar chor doonga jo mere pados mein rehte hain."

"Khair, tum yahan aajao, phir dekhenge," Salar ne phone band karte hue kaha.

"Koi masla nahi, beta—main tumhare saath rahungi. Tum mere bete jaise ho; main
tum par bharosa karti hoon."

Salar ne is baat par muskuraya. Raaste mein usne ek restaurant par ruk kar kuch
khana liya. Usay bohot bhookh lagi thi aur achanak usay ehsaas hua ke Saeeda
Amma uske saath dopahar se hai aur usne kuch nahi khaya. Ghar wapas jaate hue
usne uske liye taza seb ka juice bhi liya. Yeh pehli dafa tha ke usne kisi boorhe
shakhs ke saath waqt guzara—yeh aasaan nahi tha.

Woh Saeeda Amma ke saath apne apartment mein dinner kar raha tha jab Furqan
aaya. Usne apna ta'aruf karaya aur unke saath dinner mein shamil ho gaya. Kuch hi
dair mein, woh khushi khushi Punjabi mein baat kar raha tha. Salar ko us par rashk
ho raha tha—usne ab tak aisa behtareen mukalma karne wala nahi dekha tha jaise
Furqan. Uske bolne ke tareeke mein kuch aisa tha ke doosra shakhs foran us par
bharosa kar leta tha. Furqan ke saath apni lambi dosti ke bawajood, Salar ne ab tak
us se mukalma ka fun nahi seekha.

Das minute baad, dinner ke doran, woh sirf aik khamosh tamashaai tha jab Saeeda
Amma aur Furqan guftagu kar rahe thay. Jab Saeeda Amma ne jaana ke Furqan
doctor hai, woh mukhtalif medical masail par us se mashwara lene lagi. Jab tak
unhone khana khatam kiya, usne Furqan ko apna medical bag la kar check-up karne
ke liye razi kar liya.

Furqan ne unhe yeh nahi bataya tha ke woh oncologist hai. Bohot sabr se, usne apna
bag laya aur unka blood pressure check kiya aur phir stethoscope se unka heartbeat
suna; phir unki nabz check ki aur unhe yaqeen dilaya ke woh bilkul sehat mand hain:
unke dil ya blood pressure mein koi masla nahi. Saeeda Amma achanak se jawan

375
mehsoos karne lagi. Salar ne unki guftagu suni jab woh kitchen mein bartan dhoraha
tha. Woh lounge mein sofa par baithe thay.

Kuch dair baad, telephone bajha aur Furqan ne uthaya. Yeh Dr. Sibt-e-Ali tha.

Mammoool ke salam dua ke baad, usne pucha, "Kya Salar ne Saeeda naam ki boorhi
aurat ke bare mein report di thi?"

Furqan hairan ho gaya. "Haan, woh yahan hamare saath hi hain."

"Shukar hai," Dr. Ali ne khud-ba-khud kaha. "Woh meri rishtedaar hain aur hum
unhein pichle kuch ghanton se dhoondh rahe hain. Jab humne police se rabta kiya,
to unhone humein Salar ka naam aur phone number diya."

Furqan ne usay Saeeda Amma ke bare mein bataya aur phir unhe phone diya taake
woh Dr. Ali se baat kar sakein. Salar bhi lounge mein shamil ho gaya. Saeeda Amma
phone par baat kar rahi thi.

"Woh Dr. Ali ki rishtedaar hain," Furqan ne Salar ko dheere se kaha.

"Dr. Ali ki rishtedaar?" Salar hairan tha.

Furqan ne tasdeek ki aur Salar ne sukoon ka saans liya.

"Bhai Sahib aapse baat karna chahte hain." Saeeda Amma ne phone Furqan ko diya.
Furqan ne jaldi se call li aur ek kagaz par kuch tafseelat note karne laga. Dr. Sibt-e-
Ali usay Saeeda Amma ka address de rahe thay.

Saeeda Amma ne Salar ki taraf dekh kar hairani se kaha, "Aur tum kya kar rahe ho?"
usne apron dekhte hue pucha.

"Bartan dhora raha hoon," usne sharmindagi se jawab diya. Woh wapas kitchen gaya
aur apron utaar diya. Kaam lagbhag khatam ho chuka tha.

"Salar, chalo! Chalein aur unhe ghar chhor dein." Furqan uske peeche tha. "Yeh kaam
baad mein kar lena."

"Gaari ke chabi lao—main haath dhota hoon aur tumhare saath chalta hoon." Kuch
dair baad, woh Salar ki gaari mein thay. Furqan uske bagal mein baitha aur Saeeda
Amma piche, lekin woh us se animatedly baat karte rahe. Sath hi woh Salar ko raasta
bhi batata raha.

376
Agle bees minute mein, woh Saeeda Amma ke ilake mein, uski gali mein thay.
Unhone gaari ko gali ke darwaze par roka aur phir unhe ghar tak chhorne gaye jo
thoda aage tha. Ab usay koi raasta batane ki zaroorat nahi thi kyunki woh apni gali
pehchaan gayi thi. Thoda superior lehje mein, usne Salar ko landmarks dikhaye,
"Mithai ki dukaan... cemented drain covers... Parvez Sahib ka ghar," usne fatahmand
lehje mein kaha. Salar ne qadardani se muskuraya. Usne unhe nahi bataya ke uski
directions road ke baare mein bilkul sahi thi—lekin woh unhe ghalat ilake mein le
aayi thi.

"Amina, bechari, kitni pareshan ho rahi hogi," usne itni dafa kaha jab woh ek lal inton
wale ghar ke samne ruke. Furqan ne utar kar bell bajaya. Salar unke samne wali
haveli ko sarahate hue dekh raha tha. Yeh kaafi purani lag rahi thi lekin achi tarah se
maintain ki gayi thi aur street ko ek elegance de rahi thi.

"Main tumhein bina chai pilaye nahi jaanay dungi," Saeeda Amma ne mazbooti se
kaha. "Tumne mere liye itna pareshan waqt guzara, khaaskar Salar. Yeh larka mujhe
poora din ghoomata raha," usne uske kandhe par haath rakhtay hue kaha.

"Shukriya Saeeda Amma, lekin aaj nahi. Humein dair ho rahi hai, to hum kisi aur din
aayenge," Furqan ne jaldi se kaha.

"Haan, Saeeda Amma—aj chai nahi. Hum kisi aur din aayenge aur aapke saath dinner
bhi karenge," Furqan ne jaldi se izafa kiya.

"Pakka yaad rakhna," usne kaha.

"Hum kaise bhool sakte hain? Aur woh palak gosht ki recipe jo aap mujhe de rahi
thi—woh aap humein khilayengi," Furqan ne kaha.

Unhone andar se kadam ki aawaz suni: Saeeda Amma ki beti darwaza kholne aa rahi
thi; usne Saeeda Amma ko Furqan se baat karte hue suna tha. Bina kuch kahe, usne
kundi hatayi aur darwaza khol diya.

Furqan ne Saeeda Amma se alvida keh di jab woh seedhiyon par charh rahi thi. Salar
pehle hi wapas mur chuka tha.

---------------------

377
Woh gaari mein baithe aur gaari start karte waqt, Salar ne Furqan se kaha, "Tumhe
palak gosht se sabse zyada nafrat hai aur phir bhi tum usse maang rahe the?"

Furqan zor se hans pada, "Isme kya nuksan hai kehne mein? Lekin ho sakta hai ke
woh itna acha banaye ke mujhe khana pade."

"To tum uske ghar jaoge?" Salar ne hairani se pucha jab usne gaari ko main road par
mod diya.

"Bilkul, jaunga. Maine wada kiya hai. Aur tum?"

"Main nahi jaunga," Salar ne inkar kar diya. "Mujhe uske bare mein kuch nahi pata;
main uske ghar khana khane kaise ja sakta hoon?"

"Woh Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ki pehli cousin hain, aur tum unhein mujhse behtar jaante ho.
Woh tumhari discovery hain," Furqan ne jawab diya.

"Woh ek alag baat thi. Usay madad ki zaroorat thi aur maine madad ki. Bas. Agar
uske betay yahan hote to alag baat thi, lekin main kabhi aise auraton ke ghar nahi
jaunga jo akeli rehti hain," Salar ne sanjeedgi se kaha.

"Main akela nahi jaunga. Mujhe pata hai ke mere liye akela jana theek nahi hoga.
Main apni biwi aur bachon ko saath le jaunga. Nosheen bhi usse mil kar khush hogi."

"Haan, tum Bhabi ke saath jao, yeh theek rahega," Salar ne tasalli se kaha.

"Sirf main...? Tumhein bhi aana hoga. Usne tumhein bhi bulaya hai."

"Main nahi jaunga, mere paas waqt nahi hai. Tum jao, wahi kaafi hai," Salar ne
beparwahi se kaha.

"Wo tumhara khaas mehmaan hai. Tumhare bina maza nahi aayega."

Uska lehja kuch ajeeb laga Salar ko. Usne ghoom kar Furqan ki taraf dekha, jo
muskuraha raha tha.

"Kya matlab hai tumhara?"

"Mujhe lagta hai ke woh tumhein apna damad banana chahti hain!"

"Bewaqoofi mat karo!" Salar ne usay narazgi se dekha.

"Meri baat yaad rakhna—woh tumhein rishta bhejengi. Saeeda Amma tumhein har
tarah se pasand karti hain. Usne mujhse tumhare bare mein sab kuch poocha hai.
Aur ye bhi poocha ke kya tumhari shaadi ki koi planning hai, aur agar hai to kab?

378
Maine usay bataya ke tum jald hi shaadi kar loge jab tumhein koi achi ladki mil
jayegi. Phir usne apni beti ke bare mein batana shuru kiya. Ab agar hum uski beti ki
virtues ka pachaas percent bhi ghatayein, to ladki... ab woh kya keh rahi thi uska
naam? Oh, haan, Amina... woh tumhare liye behtareen hogi."

"Tumhein sharam aani chahiye. Woh Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ki rishtedaar hain, aur tum uske
bare mein aise baat kar rahe ho," Salar ne usay dant diya.

Furqan sanjeeda ho gaya.

"Main mazaq nahi kar raha—tumhare liye fakhar ki baat honi chahiye ke tum Dr.
Sibt-e-Ali ke khandan mein shaadi karoge..."

"Bas karo, Furqan, is masle par bohot baat ho chuki," Salar ghussa ho gaya.

"Thik hai, hum is par kisi aur waqt baat karenge," Furqan ne thanday lehje mein
jawab diya. Salar ne uski taraf ghoor kar dekha.

"Tum gaari chala rahe ho, road par tawajjo do," Furqan ne usay pat pat kar kaha.
Salar kuch narazgi se apni tawajjo road ki taraf mod li.

-------------------

Unka Saeeda Amma ke saath rishta yahin khatam nahi hua. Kuch din baad, ek shaam
woh Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke ghar par thay jab lecture ke baad unhone unhe rok liya.

"Saeeda Apa tumse milna chahti hain. Woh mujhse keh rahi thi ke mujhe unhe
tumhare paas le jana chahiye. Maine unhe bataya ke tum shaam ko yahan aate ho
aur woh yahin tumse mil sakti hain. Tumne unse milne ka wada kiya tha lekin shayad
tum nahi gaye."

Furqan ne ma'anay khiz nazar se Salar ki taraf dekha, lekin usne apni nazar pher li.

"Haan, hum soch rahe the ke jaayenge lekin busy hone ki wajah se nahi jaa sake,"
Furqan ne baat sambhalte hue kaha.

Dono Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke saath dining room mein gaye, jahan kuch dair baad Saeeda
Amma bhi aayi aur foran shikayat ka silsila shuru kar diya. Furqan ne unhe thanda
karne ki koshish ki, jabke Salar chupchaap baitha raha.

379
Furqan ne Salar ko bataya tha ke woh agle weekend Saeeda Amma ke paas jayenge,
lekin Salar ko Islamabad aur phir gaon jana tha. Usne Saeeda Amma ko apna
schedule bataya aur isse bach gaya.

Weekend ke baad, jab woh Lahore wapas aaya, Furqan ne usay Saeeda Amma ke
ghar ke visit ke baare mein bataya. Woh apni family ke saath wahan gaya tha.

"Salar! Main Saeeda Amma ki beti se bhi mila," Furqan ne achanak Salar se kaha, jab
woh visit ke baare mein bata raha tha. "Woh bohot achi ladki hai. Saeeda Amma ke
bar'aks, woh chup rehti hai. Bilkul tumhari tarah. Tum dono bohot achi tarah se nibha
loge. Nosheen ko bhi woh bohot pasand aayi."

"Furqan! Behtar hoga agar tum apni baat visit tak mehdood rakho," Salar ne usay tok
diya.

"Main bohot serious hoon, Salar," Furqan ne barqarar rakha.

"Main bhi bohot serious hoon," Salar ne jawab diya. "Tumhe pata hai, Furqan? Jitna
tum shaadi ka zor dete ho, utna hi mera dil kam karta hai, aur yeh sab tumhari wajah
se hai," Salar ne sohfa par piche jhulte hue kaha.

"Nahi, yeh meri wajah se nahi hai. Kyun nahi tum yeh saaf saaf kehte ke yeh Imama
ki wajah se hai ke tum shaadi nahi karna chahte," Furqan ne sanjeedgi se kaha.

"Thik hai....main saaf saaf keh deta hoon. Main Imama ki wajah se shaadi nahi karna
chahta...phir?"

"Yeh bachpana hai," Furqan ne usay ghoor kar kaha.

"Thik hai, maan liya, yeh bachpana hai, to?" Salar ne kandhe uchkate hue kaha.

"To tumhe isse chhor dena chahiye," Furqan ne narmi se mashwara diya.

"Main isse chhorna nahi chahta...to?" Salar ne tez jawab diya.

Furqan kuch lamhon ke liye behka hua uski taraf dekhta raha.

"Phir kabhi mere samne Saeeda Amma ki beti ka zikar mat karna, aur agar woh is
baat ko chhedti hain, to unhe bata dena ke meri shaadi ho chuki hai."

"Thik hai, main tumse is bare mein baat nahi karunga, lekin tumhe apna gussa nahi
khona chahiye," Furqan ne haath jodte hue tasleem kiya.

380
----------------------

"Sikandar muskuraya aur Salar ko bethne ka ishara kiya. Woh lounge mein Tyeba ke
sath baithe thay, aur Salar unki darkhwast par Islamabad aya tha.

Sikandar Usman apne teesre bete ko sarahte hue dekha. Thodi der pehle, unhone
unke sath dinner kiya tha, aur ab kapray badal kar unke sath baithe thay. Aam safed
shalwar qameez aur kali chapalon mein bhi, woh bohot shandar lag rahe thay.
Shayad yeh unke shanakht ki waqar thi, ya shayad bohot saalon baad woh apne bete
ko dhang se dekh rahe thay, aur khud ko tasleem kar rahe thay ke unka beta ab ek
moazziz shakhsiyat ban chuka hai.

Unhone kabhi socha nahi tha ke Salar ki wajah se unko apne daira mein izzat
milayegi. Unko Salar Sikandar ke reference se introduce kiya jata, aur woh khushi se
hairaan hotay. Salar ne apne nojawani ke dino mein unko bohot sharminda aur
pareshaan kiya tha, aur us waqt unke is bete ka mustaqbil andhera lagta tha, baghair
kisi shak ke extra ordinary capabilities ke bawajood. Sikandar ke khauf aur shubhaat
ghalat sabit hue.

Tayyaba ne mevaon ka plate Salar ke samne kiya, jo kuch kaju uthata hai.

‘Mujhe tumse tumhari shadi ke baare mein baat karni hai.’ Salar ne achanak kaju
khane se rok liya; uske chehre se muskurahat gaayab ho gayi. Sikandar Usman aur
Tayyaba ne notice nahi kiya aur woh khush rahe.

‘Waqt aa gaya hai ke tum shadi kar lo, Salar,’ Sikandar ne kaha. Salar ne bina soche
samjhe kaju wapas plate par rakh diye.

‘Tyeba aur main heran hain ke tumhare liye kitne saare rishtay aa rahe hain. Tumhare
kisi bhi bhai ke liye itne nahi aaye,’ Sikandar ne khushi se kaha. ‘Main socha ke hum
is maamle ko tumhare sath discuss karain.’

Woh khamoshi se unko dekhne laga. ‘Tum Zahid Hamdani ko jaante ho?’ Sikandar
Usman ne ek maqbool multinational company ke local head ka naam liya.

‘Haan... unki beti meri colleague hai.’

‘Ramsha naam hai uska shayad.’

‘Haan.’

381
‘Woh kaisi hai?’

Salar ne apne walid ko dekha: sawal bohot obvious tha.

‘Woh achi hai,’ usne kuch deir baad jawab diya.

‘Kya tumhe woh pasand hai?’

‘Kis tarah?’

‘Main Ramsha ke rishtay ki baat kar raha hoon,’ Sikandar ne sanjeedgi se kaha.

‘Zahid pichle kuch hafton se is baat par mere sath hain. Woh aur unki biwi ek do
martaba humare paas aaye hain. Hum bhi unke ghar gaye thay. Pichle weekend hum
Ramsha se bhi mile thay. Tumhari maa aur mujhe woh bohot achi lagi— woh bohot
tameezdar hai aur, aur, woh tumhari achi dost bhi hai. Woh bohot chahte hain,
darasal woh ispar insistent hain, ke tumhare zariye dono khandaanon mein rishta ban
jaaye.’

‘Papa! Main Ramsha ke sath dost nahi hoon,’ Salar ne aahista se kaha. ‘Woh meri
colleague hai, main usay jaanta hoon, aur isme koi shak nahi ke woh bohot achi ladki
hai, lekin main usse shaadi nahi karna chahta.’

‘Kya tum kisi aur ladki mein interested ho?’ Sikandar ne poocha.

Woh khamosh raha, usne jawab nahi diya. Tayyaba aur Sikandar ne ek dosray ko
dekha.

‘Agar tum kisi aur ladki mein interested ho, to humein koi aitraaz nahi hoga. Darasal,
hum khushi khushi tumhara rishta bhejenge, aur tumpar koi dabao nahi dalenge,’
Sikandar ne usay naram lehje mein yakeen dilaya.

‘Main pehle hi shadi kar chuka hoon, bohot waqt pehle,’ usne lambi khamoshi ke
baad aahista se kaha, apna sir neeche karte hue.

Sikandar ko samajhne mein mushkil nahi hui ke woh kya keh raha hai. Unka chehra
dark ho gaya. ‘Kya tum Imama ki baat kar rahe ho?’

Woh khamosh raha. Sikandar ne usay bohot der tak yaqeen na aane wale andaaz
mein dekha.

382
‘Kya isiliye tumne itne saalon tak shaadi nahi ki?’ Sikandar ko dhakka laga. Unhone
socha tha ke usne use bhool gaya hoga. Aakhir, yeh sab bohot arsa pehle hua tha,
lagbhag aath saal ya us se pehle.

‘Ab tak uski shadi ho gayi hogi aur woh aik aaraamdeh aur pur sukoon zindagi guzar
rahi hogi. Tumhari us se shaadi to kab ki khatam ho gayi thi,’ Sikandar ne usay
samjhana ki koshish ki.

‘Nahi, Papa, meri us se shaadi khatam nahi hui,’ usne pehli dafa apna sir uthate hue
kaha.

‘Nikah nama par, tumne usay talaq ka haq diya tha... mujhe yaad hai tumne use
dhoondhne ki koshish ki thi, takay tum use talaq de sako,’ Sikandar ne kaha, jaise ke
usay yaad dilane ki koshish kar rahe hoon.

‘Maine usay dhoondha tha magar nahi mila, aur usay nahi pata ke usay talaq ka haq
hai. Jahan bhi woh hai, woh ab bhi meri biwi hai.’

‘Salar! Aath lambi saal guzar chuke hain. Yeh sirf ek do saal nahi hain. Shayad usay
pata chal gaya ho ke usay talaq ka haq tha. Yeh mumkin nahi ke woh ab bhi tumhari
biwi ho,’ Sikandar ne pareshan hote hue jawab diya.

‘Mujh se ilawa koi bhi usay yeh haq nahi bata sakta tha, aur maine usay yeh nahi
bataya. Jab tak woh meri biwi bani rahegi, main dobara shadi nahi karunga.’

‘Kya tumhara us se koi raabta hai?’ Sikandar ne neechay awaz mein poocha.

‘Nahi.’

‘Pichle aath saal se us se koi raabta nahi, aur agar yeh zindagi bhar aise hi rahe, to
tum kya karoge?’

Woh khamosh raha. Is sawal ka uske paas koi jawab nahi tha.

Sikandar Usman ne kuch der uske jawab ka intezar kiya.

‘Tumne mujhe kabhi nahi bataya ke tum us se jazbati taur par involved thay. Tumne
sirf itna kaha tha ke tum usay chand lamho ke liye madad karna chahte thay, aur
usay kisi aur ladke se shadi karni thi, waghera, waghera.’

Woh is martaba bhi khamosh raha."

Sikandar Usman ne chup chap usay dekha. Woh kabhi bhi apne teesre bete ko

383
samajh nahi paye thay. Woh kabhi us tak nahi pohanch sake. Woh larki jiske liye
usne apni zindagi ke aath saal qurbaan kar diye, aur ab baqi zindagi qurbaan karne
ko tayar tha, uske jazbat ki gehrayi kisi alfaz ki mohtaaj nahi thi. Kamray mein ek
lambi aur bechain khamoshi chha gayi, jab Sikandar Usman uth kar apne dressing
room mein chale gaye. Kuch minute baad wapas aaye. Sofe par baith kar unhone ek
lifafa Salar ki taraf badhaya. Usne poochhne wali nigahon se unhe dekha aur lifafa
uthaya.

‘Imama ne mujh se rabta kiya tha.’

Salar ka sans lena mushkil ho gaya.

‘Yeh paanch ya chhe saal pehle ki baat hai. Usne tumse baat karni chahi thi. Nasira
ne phone uthaya tha aur usne Imama ki awaaz pehchan li thi. Us waqt tum Pakistan
mein thay, lekin Nasira ne tumhare bajaye mujhe phone diya. Usne mujh se kaha tha
ke tumhe phone par bulayein. Maine usse kaha ke tum mar chuke ho. Main nahi
chahta tha ke woh tumse rabta kare, kyunki main phir se us musibat mein nahi
phasna chahta tha jisse humein nijat mili thi. Mujhe yaqeen tha ke woh meri baat
maan le gi kyunki tumne kai baar khudkushi ki koshish ki thi. Woh Waseem ki behan
thi aur tumhare bare mein sab kuch jaanti thi. Darasal, woh khud bhi aise ek waqia ki
gawah thi. Main usay tumhare nikah nama mein talaq ka haq aur un divorce papers
ke baare mein nahi bata sakta tha jo maine tumhari taraf se tayyar karwaye thay. Jab
maine tumhe America bheja tha, to ek blank sheet par tumse sign karwaye thay,
takay zaroorat parne par main khud divorce deed tayyar kar sakoon. Yeh legal tha ya
nahi, mujhe nahi pata, lekin yeh tayyar tha, aur main Imama ko yeh batana chahta
tha aur usay sab papers dena chahta tha, lekin usne phone band kar diya. Maine
number trace karaya lekin woh kisi PCO ka tha. Kuch din baad usne twenty thousand
rupees travelers’ cheques mein post ke zariye bheje. Sath hi ek khat bhi tha. Shayad,
tumne usay kuch paise diye thay, jo usne wapas kiye. Maine tumhe yeh sab nahi
bataya kyunki main nahi chahta tha ke tum phir se is musibat mein ulajh jao. Main
Imama ke khandaan se dar gaya tha. Mujhe unka inteqam ka khauf tha, aur main
chahta tha ke tum apne career par tawajju do.’

Lifafa pakde hue, uska chehra se khoon nikal gaya, usne Sikandar Usman ko dekha.
Jaise kisi ne uske jism se khoon choos liya ho. Usne lifafa table par rakh diya. Woh
nahi chahta tha ke Tayyaba aur Sikandar uske haathon ki larzish dekhein – lekin

384
unhone note kar li thi, magar uski hosh o hawas kuch waqt ke liye chali gayi thi.
Usne kuch der tak table par apne haath ke neeche lifafa dekha. Phir, bina lifafa
uthaaye, usne usme se kagaz nikal liya.

"Dear Uncle Sikandar,

Main aapke bete ke inteqal ka sun kar bohot afsos hua. Kuch saal pehle, aapki family
ko meri wajah se bohot pareshaani uthani padi thi, jiske liye main sach much afsos
mand hoon. Mujhe Salar ko kuch paise wapas karne thay, jo main iske sath bhej rahi
hoon.

Allah Hafiz,

Imama Hashim."

---------------------------------

Salar ko aisa laga jaise woh sach much mar gaya ho. Safed chehre ke sath, usne
kagaz ko wapas lifafe mein daal diya. Baghair kuch kahe, woh uth khada hua, lifafa
mazbooti se pakad kar. Sikandar aur Tayyaba ne saans rok kar usay dekha. Jab woh
guzra, to Sikandar uth khada hua.

‘Salar...!’

Woh ruk gaya. Sikandar ne apna haath uske kandhe par rakha. ‘Jo bhi hua... woh
ghalti se hua. Mujhe pata nahi tha ke tum... agar tumne kabhi apne jazbat Imama ke
liye mujhe bataye hote, to main kabhi yeh sab nahi karta. Main is mamle ko
mukhtalif tareeke se sambhalta, ya tumhara usse rabta kara deta. Main tumse
darkhwast karta hoon ke mujhse koi dushmani na rakkho.’

Salar ne apna sir nahi uthaya, usne unki aankhon mein nahi dekha, lekin uski halki si
sar hilanay ki nishani thi. Usne apne walid se koi gila shikwa nahi rakha. Sikandar ne
apne bete ke kandhe se haath hata liya.

Woh jaldi se kamra chorh gaya. Sikandar chahta tha ke woh chale jaye. Usne uske
honthon ki larzish dekhi thi, jaise ek bachay ke, aur woh bar bar apne aap ko
sambhalne ki koshish kar raha tha. Agar woh kuch arsa aur wahan rehta, to woh rone
lagta. Sikandar khud bhi apne afsos ko barhawa nahi dena chahta tha.

385
Tayyaba ne puri guftagu ke doran mudakhlat nahi ki thi, lekin Salar ke janay ke baad,
usne Sikandar ko tasalli dene ki koshish ki.

‘Regret karne ki zaroorat nahi. Jo bhi tumne kiya, uski bhalayi ke liye tha. Woh
samajh jayega.’ Unko dekh kar, woh Sikandar ki zehni kafiyat ka andaza laga sakti thi.

Sikandar, cigarette jalate hue, kamre mein idhar udhar chal raha tha.

‘Yeh meri zindagi ki sabse bari ghalti thi. Salar ki razamandi ke baghair, usse bataye
baghair, mujhe yeh sab nahi karna chahiye tha. Mujhe Imama se jhoot nahi bolna
chahiye tha... main...’ Jomla adhoora chorh kar, usne apni mutthi band kar li, aur
nadamat mein dooba, khidki ke paas ja kar bahar dekhne laga.

-----------------------

Gaadi bohot ehtiyaat se us raat ke waqt us raaste par chal rahi thi. Salar kai saalon
baad us raat ko usi raaste par drive kar raha tha. Guzra hua raat uske saamne ek film
ki tarah chal rahi thi. Usse aisa mehsoos ho raha tha ke pichle aath saal bas yunhi
gaayab ho gaye hain. Sab kuch waisa hi tha; sab kuch wahi tha jahan pehle tha.

Koi chup chap uske saath aa baitha. Usne apne aap ko sapne mein chorh diya. Usne
agle seat par dekha nahi. Khuli aankhon se, usne waham ko haqeeqat banne diya.
Koi chup chap uske paas ro raha tha.

"Dear Uncle Sikandar,

Main aapke bete ke inteqal ka sun kar bohot afsos hua. Kuch saal pehle, aapki family
ko meri wajah se bohot pareshaani uthani padi thi, jiske liye main sach much afsos
mand hoon. Mujhe Salar ko kuch paise wapas karne thay, jo main iske sath bhej rahi
hoon.

Allah Hafiz,

Imama Hashim."

Khat ke alfaaz uske zehan mein goonj rahe thay.

386
Sikandar Usman se milne ke baad, woh apne kamre mein gaya aur bohot der tak
khat ke sath baitha raha. Usne Imama ko koi paise nahi diye thay, lekin usse pata tha
ke usne kis qarz ko ada kiya tha: uske mobile phone aur uske bills ka.

Aadha tareek kamre mein bistar par baithe hue, usne bemaani se khidki ke bahar
uske ghar ki taraf dekha—jaise achanak se puri duniya se insani asbaat gaayab ho
gaye ho.

Usne khat par likhi tareekh padhi. Yeh lagbhag do aur dhai saal baad bheja gaya tha
jab usne apna ghar chhoda tha. Agar woh do aur dhai saal baad bees hazaar rupaye
bhej rahi thi, to iska matlab tha ke woh theek thi. Kam az kam uski sabse buri
andeshiyan Imama ke bare mein ghalat sabit nahi hui. Is baat par woh khush tha,
lekin usay dar tha agar Imama ne waqai uske maut ka yakeen kar liya tha aur uski
zindagi se nikal gayi thi.

Woh bohot der tak wahi baitha raha, phir khuda jaane uske zehan mein kya aya,
usne apna bag pack kiya aur ghar chhorh diya. Aur ab woh is raaste par tha—usi
dhundh, usi mausam mein. Sab kuch dhundh mein tabdeel ho gaya ya gayaab ho
gaya jab kuch ghanton baad woh apne aap ko usi café-like service station par paya.
Usne gaadi roki. Dhundh mein liptay hue building mein kaafi tabdeeli aayi thi. Usne
gaadi modhi aur service station mein laya. Phir woh bahar nikla. Wahan ab bhi wahi
khamoshi thi jo aath saal pehle thi; bas roshni zyada thi. Usne horn nahi bajaya to
koi bahar nahi aya. Veranda mein paani se bhara drum nahi tha. Salar veranda cross
karke andar jane wala tha jab koi bahar aya. Kuch bolne se pehle, Salar ne kaha,
‘Mujhe chai chahiye.’

Woh aadmi jamhaai lete hue wapas mud gaya. ‘Andar aa jaaiye…’

Salar uske peeche gaya. Wahi kamra tha, lekin interior badal gaya tha. Pehle se zyada
tables aur chairs thi aur set up bhi behtar tha.

‘Sirf chai ya kuch aur sath mein?’ us aadmi ne achanak ruk kar poocha.

‘Sirf chai.’ Salar ne ek kursi kheench kar baith gaya. Aadmi counter ke peeche, stove
jalane mein masroof tha.

‘Aap kahan se aaye hain?’ usne mud kar poocha. Koi jawab nahi mila. Chai pine wala
shakhs apni nigah kamre ke ek kone par gaadhay baitha tha—jaise pathar se tarasha
hua ek statue.

387
Usne apni dua ki aur phir uska samna kiya, table ke us paar baith gayi. Baghair kuch
kahe, usne table se chai ka cup uthaya aur peene lagi. Ladke ne jo unko serve kar
raha tha, burgers la kar unke samne rakhe. Salar ne plate par nazar daali. Usne knife
se burger ka upper half uthaya aur filling ko dekhte hue ghor se nazar daali.

Phir usne ladke ko address kiya.

‘Yeh shami kabab hai.’ Usne filling ka upper layer hata rahe the.

‘Aur yeh omelette hai.’ Usne halki si neeche wali layer uthai. ‘Aur yeh ketchup— to
chicken kahan hai? Maine tumse chicken burger maanga tha, nahi?’

Usne ladke se sakhti se kaha. Is darmiyan, Imama apna burger kha rahi thi.

‘Yeh chicken burger hai,’ ladka kuch confuse ho kar bola.

‘Kaisa chicken burger, jab ismein chicken hi nahi hai?’ Salar ne usay challenge kiya.

‘Hum isay chicken burger kehte hain,’ ladka ghabrahat mein bola.

‘Aur plain burger mein, tum kya daalte ho?’

‘Usmein shami kabab hota hai, lekin omelette nahi hota.’

‘To tum ek anda daal kar ek aam burger ko chicken burger banate ho? Kyunki
chicken anda se aata hai aur is tarah se baghair seedha raste, tumne chicken add
kiya hai?’

Salar bohot sanjeedgi se bola. Ladka sharmindagi se hansa. Imama bina koi tawajju
diye apna burger khane mein masroof rahi.

"Thik hai, tum ja sakte ho," Salar ne kaha.

Ladke ne jaise ummeed thi, aik rahat ki saans li aur wahan se gaayab ho gaya.
Chaaku aur kaanta neeche rakh kar, Salar ne apne baaye haath se burger uthaya.
Imama, apna burger khate hue, pehli dafa hairat se dekha ke burger kis tarah plate
se Salar ke mooh tak ja raha tha, aur wo bhi uske baaye haath mein tha. Lekin ye
hairat foran khatam ho gayi, aur wo dobara apna burger khane mein masroof ho
gayi. Salar ne burger ka sirf ek bite liya lekin foran usay wapas plate par rakh diya.

"Yeh burger bekaar hai. Mujhe samajh nahi aata ke tum isay kaise kha sakti ho," Salar
ne kaha, jabke usne woh jo bite liya tha, mushkil se nigal liya.

388
"Itna bura nahi hai jitna tum samajhte ho," Imama ne pur-sukoon lehje mein jawab
diya.

"Imama, tumhara har cheez ke liye standard bohot low hai – chahe woh burger ho,
ya tumhare shohar ka intekhab," Salar ne kaha.

Imama ne apna burger khana rokh diya. Salar ne dekha ke uska safed chehra surkh
ho gaya, aur wo tanziya muskurane laga. "Main Jalal Ansar ki baat kar raha hoon,"
usne yaad dilaya.

"Bilkul sahi; mera standard waqai bohot low hai," usne pur-sukoon tareeke se
tasleem karte hue kaha aur apna burger khane lagi.

"Maine socha tha ke tum yeh burger mujh par phaink dogi," usne shararat se
muskurate hue kaha.

"Main Allah ki niyamat ko zaya kyun karun?"

"Tum is kharab cheez ko Allah ka tohfa kehti ho? Tumhare paas aur kya great tohfe
hain is waqt?" usne tanziya andaz mein kaha.

"Allah ka shukar ada karna mushkil hai. Yeh sense of taste, kitni badi blessing hai. Jab
main kuch khati hoon, mujhe iska taste mehsoos hota hai. Bahut se log is blessing se
mehroom hain jo hum normal lete hain."

"Aur in logon ki list mein sabse upar ka naam Salar Sikandar ka hoga, sahi?" usne
unka baat kaat kar buland awaz mein kaha.

"Tum Salar Sikandar se yeh umeed nahi kar sakte ke woh aisi cheez khaye aur enjoy
kare!" usne shikayat ki.

Aadmi chai le kar aaya aur cup uske samne rakh diya. Salar ko ehsaas hua. Samne
wali kursi ab khaali thi. "Kya aapko kuch aur chahiye sath mein?" us aadmi ne
mamooli andaz mein poocha.

"Nahi, sirf chai theek hai," Salar ne jawab diya, cup apni taraf kheenchte hue.

"Kya aap Islamabad se aaye hain?" usne poocha.

"Haan…"

"Lahore ja rahe hain?" usne lagataar poocha.

389
Is baar Salar ne sir hila kar jawab diya. Ab woh chai ka ghont le raha tha. Aadmi ko
shak hua ke uski aankhein num hain.

"Mujhe thodi der ke liye akela chorh dein," usne cup rakhtay hue kaha, lekin upar
dekha nahi. Aadmi ne kuch hairani se usay dekha aur wapas kitchen mein chala gaya
aur choti choti kaamon mein masroof ho gaya – saath hi, door se Salar par nazar
rakhe hue.

Pandra minute baad, usne dekha ke Salar utha aur kamra chorh gaya. Aadmi jaldi se
kitchen se room mein aya, lekin Salar ka peecha karne se pehle, usay khali cup ke
neeche ek note ne rok liya. Wo hairan hua aur usay dekhta raha. Phir aagay barh kar,
note uthaya aur jaldi se room se bahar aya. Us waqt Salar ki gaadi main road par
reverse ho rahi thi. Usne hairat se door jaati gaadi ko dekha, phir tube light ki roshni
mein apne haath mein hazaar ka note dekha.

"Note asli hai, lekin aadmi bewakoof hai…" usne khushi se muttering karte hue note
apni jeb mein rakh liya.

------------------------------

Sikandar Usman ne jab nashtay ke table par aya to uske zehan mein Salar tha. "Salar
kahan hai? Use bulao," usne naukar ko hukam dia.
"Nahi, wo kal raat ko chalay gaye," naukar ne jawab diya. Tayyaba aur Sikandar ne
pareshani se ek dusre ki taraf dekha.
"Wo kahan gaye hain... Gaon?"
"Nahi, wo Lahore wapas chale gaye hain. Keh rahe the ke kuch zaroori kaam hai.
Unhone mujh se kaha tha ke subah aapko bata doon."
Sikandar foran phone ki taraf gaya. Usne Salar ka number milaya. Mobile band tha.
Usne uske flat par phone kia. Answering machine chal rahi thi. Usne baghair message
chhore phone rakh dia. Pareshan hote hue wo wapas nashtay ki table par aya.
"Kya us se baat nahi hui?" Tayyaba ne poocha.
"Nahi, mobile band hai. Flat par answering machine chal rahi hai. Allah jane wo
kahan gaya hai."
"Fikr mat karo... Nashta kar lo," Tayyaba ne usay tasalli di.

390
"Tum nashta karo... Mujhe dil nahi kar raha."
Wo uth kar bahar chala gaya. Tayyaba ne bechaari ki halat mein ek aah bhari.

-----------------

Salar ne apne apartment ka darwaza khola; Furqan bahar tha. Salar wapas andar
chala gaya.
"Tum kab wapas aaye?" Furqan ne hairan hote hue poocha, jab wo Salar ke peeche
peeche andar aya.
"Subah," Salar ne jawab dia, sofay ki taraf jaate hue.
"Kyun? Tumhe gaon nahi jana tha?" Furqan ne uski peeth ko dekhte hue poocha.
"Maine tumhari gari parking lot mein dekhi. Dost ko wapas aane par inform karna
chahiye,"
Salar bina kuch kahe sofay par baith gaya.
"Kya hua?" Furqan ne pehli martaba uska chehra dekha aur pareshan ho gaya.
"Kya hua?" Salar ne sawaal dohraya.
"Main tumse pooch raha hoon, tumhe kya hua?" Furqan ne uske saamne sofay par
baithte hue kaha.
"Kuch nahi."
"Ghar mein sab theek hai?"
"Han..."
"To phir... Tumhe sar mein dard hai? Migraine?"
Furqan ab ghur se uska chehra dekh raha tha.
"Nahi..." Salar ne muskurane ki koshish nahi ki. Waise bhi koi faida nahi tha. Usne
apni aankhein malin.
"Phir tumhe kya hua? Tumhari aankhein laal ho rahi hain."
"Main raat ko nahi soya; main gaari chala raha tha," Salar ne seedhi baat ki.
"Jab tum yahan flat wapas aaye to so jaate. Subah se kya kar rahe ho?" Furqan ne
poocha.
"Kuch nahi."
"Tumne kyun nahi soya?"
"Mujhe neend nahi aayi..."
"Neend ke liye tum goliyan lete ho, phir kyun nahi soye?" Furqan hairan tha.
"Bas aaj lene ka dil nahi kiya, ya keh sakte ho ke aaj sona hi nahi chahta tha."
"Khana khaya?"

391
"Nahi, bhook nahi thi..."
"Dopahar ke do baj rahe hain," Furqan ne itraaz kiya. "Main tumhare liye kuch bhejta
hoon. Kha lo... phir thoda so jao, shaam ko bahar chalenge."
"Nahi, khana mat bhejna. Main so raha hoon. Jab shaam ko uthunga to bahar jaake
kuch kha loonga." Ye kehte hue, Salar sofay par lete gaya aur apne haath se aankhon
ko dhak liya. Furqan thodi der tak usay dekhta raha, phir uth kar chala gaya.

--------------------------------

"Are you OK?" Ramsha ne poocha, Salar ke kamray mein daakhil hote hue. Reception
ki taraf jaate hue, usne blinds mein se jhaank kar dekha tha, jo kuch khuli hui thi.
Woh corridor se guzarte hue ruk gayi thi. Salar apni kohniyon ko table par rakhe,
haath mein sir pakde baitha tha. Ramsha jaanti thi ke kabhi kabhi usay migraine hota
hai. Reception ki taraf jaane ke bajaye, usne darwaza khola aur andar chali gayi.

Usay dekh kar, Salar seedha baith gaya aur apni table par khuli file dekhne laga.
"Are you alright?" Ramsha ne fikrmandi se poocha.
"Han, main bilkul theek hoon..."
Usne Ramsha ki taraf dekhne ki koshish bhi nahi ki. Ramsha wapas jaane ke bajaye,
aage barh aayi.
"Nahi, tum theek nahi lag rahe," usne Salar ka chehra dekhte hue kaha.
"Kya tum please ye file le lo... isay dekh lo... main nahi kar paa raha." Salar ne file
band ki aur uski taraf dhakel di.
"Main dekh loongi, lekin agar tum theek mehsoos nahi kar rahe, to behtar hai ke
tum ghar chalay jao," Ramsha ne fikrmandi se kaha.
"Han, behtar hai ke main ghar chala jaoon." Usne apna briefcase khola aur apni
cheezen isme dalne laga. Ramsha usay ghoor ke dekh rahi thi.

---------------------

Woh ghar wapas gyarah baje wapas aya. Ye uske lagataar chaar din ke pareshaani ka
silsila tha. Achanak, usne har cheez mein dilchaspi kho di thi:

392
bank ki naukri, LUMS mein lectures, Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke sessions, Furqan ka saath, gaon
ka school, mustaqbil ke plans—kuch bhi usay ab dilchaspi nahi de raha tha.
Jis mumkinat ke liye usne sab kuch chor kar Pakistan wapas aya tha, woh mumkinat
ab khatam ho gayi thi. Usne kabhi nahi socha tha ke is umeed ke khatam hone ka
matlab uske liye sab kuch khatam ho jana hoga.
Woh is halat se nikalne ki koshish kar raha tha, lekin bina kisi kamiyaabi ke.
Imama ka kisi aur ke ghar mein biwi ke tor par rehna, Salar ke liye utna hi azab tha
jitna pehle ka khauf ke woh galat haathon mein chali gayi hai aur gunaah ki zindagi
bita rahi hai. Is halat mein, usne Umra par jaane ka faisla kiya—ye ek aisa amal tha jo
usay sukoon aur uski zindagi mein aaye hue ma'ani ke buhran se nijaat de sakta tha.

-------------

END OF CHAPTER 7
----------------------------------------------

393
 CHAPTER 8

Ahram lapete, woh Kaaba ke sahn mein khara tha. Woh akela tha: aas paas koi bhi
nahin tha. Raat ke dair hue the aur chandni aur sitaron ki roshni sang-e-mar-mar ke
farsh se takra kar milkani roshni phela rahi thi. Bas sitaron ki roshni thi, aur koi roshni
nahin thi.

Kaaba ke kale purde par kadhai ki hui ayaat apni roshni chor rahi thi. Har taraf ek
gehri khamoshi thi, jo sirf ek awaaz se toot rahi thi—uski apni awaaz… uski apni
awaaz. Woh Multazim ke maqam par khara tha, uski aankhen Kaaba ke darwaze par
the, aur upar dekhte hue, usne buland awaaz mein pukara.

"Labbaik Allahumma labbaik; labbaik la shareeka laka labbaik; innal hamda wa al

ne‘mata, laka wa‘l mulk; la shareeka laka."

"Labbaik Allahumma labbaik; labbaik la shareeka laka labbaik; innal hamda wa al

ne‘mata, laka wa‘l mulk; la shareeka laka."

"Labbaik Allahumma labbaik."

"Labbaik Allahumma labbaik; labbaik la shareeka laka labbaik; innal hamda wa al

ne‘mata, laka wa‘l mulk; la shareeka laka."

Uski awaaz se masjid-al-Haram ka khali sahn aur raastay goonj uthay, jaise woh
awaaz aasman mein uth rahi ho.

"Labbaik Allahumma labbaik!" Nange paon, aadhe kapde mein khara, usne apni
awaaz pehchani.

"Labbaik la shareeka laka labbaik!" Haan, yeh uski hi awaaz thi… "innal hamda wa al
ne‘mata, laka wa‘l mulk."

Uski aankhon se aansu beh kar uske chehre se hotay hue pairo tak gir rahe the. "La
shareeka laka." Usne apne haath asmaan ki taraf uthaye. "Labbaik Allahumma
labbaik."

Kiswah par likhi hui ayaat achanak bohot wazeh, bohot roshan ho gayi—chamakte
hue, aur asmani roshni bhi zyadah chamakne lagi. Woh ayaat ko dekhne laga,
mahnati, mukhlis. Jaise ek dua jo zabani yaad ho, usne talbiyah dohraai: "Labbaik
Allahumma labbaik."

394
Phir usne dekha ke Kaaba ka darwaza dheere dheere khul raha hai, bohot dheere se
aur uski awaaz ek saans, ek lehaz mein pukarti rahi.

"Labbaik la shareeka laka labbaik!" Is baar, usne mehsoos kiya ke ek aur awaaz uske
saath dua mein shamil ho gayi hai.

"Innal hamda wa al ne‘mata, laka wa‘l mulk." Woh awaaz itni buland nahin thi—woh
ek sarghoshi ki tarah thi, lekin usko ghair rahi thi. Usne jaana ke yeh uski awaaz
nahin thi—yeh koi aur tha. Pehli baar jab se woh Khana-e-Kaaba mein tha, usne kisi
aur ki mojoodgi mehsoos ki.

"La shareeka laka." Darwaza aur khul raha tha.

"Labbaik Allahumma labbaik." Usne woh aurat ki awaaz pehchani.

"Labbaik la shareeka laka labbaik!" Woh uske saath hi lafz dohra rahi thi. Awaaz uske
baayen se, piche se, kuch kadam door se aa rahi thi.

Usne apne pairo ko dekha, jo ab poori tarah se geele ho chuke the. Phir usne Kaaba
ki taraf dekha—darwaza khul chuka tha aur andar se ek chamakti hui safed roshni aa
rahi thi. Woh sajda mein gir gaya, uska mattha zameen ko choo raha tha. Roshni
dheere dheere kam hone lagi aur jab usne apna sir uthaya, roshni aur kam ho gayi
thi. Jab woh khara hua, Kaaba ka darwaza band ho raha tha aur ek martaba phir
usne kareebi ek aurat ki awaaz suni, aur is dafa usne mud kar dekha.

-------------------------

Salar uth gaya. Haram Shareef ki verandah mein ek sutun ke saath sir lagaye baitha
hua, woh neend mein kho gaya tha.

Woh Imama thi—bila shuba woh Imama thi—jo uske piche safed ahram mein khadi
thi. Usne sirf ek jhalak dekhi thi magar woh jhalak bhi kaafi thi usay yakeen dilane ke
liye ke woh koi aur nahin, Imama hi thi.

Woh wahan baitha tha, be khudi se logon ko idhar udhar ghoomte hue dekhta raha
aur uska dil jazbat se bhar gaya.

Aath saal se ziyada ho chuke the jab usne us aurat ko dekha tha jo ab usay Khana-e-
Kaaba ke muqaddas maqam mein khawab mein nazar aayi thi. Ek purana zakham
phir se taza ho gaya. Usne apna chashma utar kar apne chehre ko hathoon se

395
chhupa liya. Garam aansuon ko pochhte hue, uske zehan mein ek khayal aaya: yeh
Haram Shareef hai—yahan usay apne aansuon ko kisi se chhupane ki zarurat nahin
thi.

Log yahan apne dil ka dard ro kar bayaan karne aate hain. Usne apne hath chehre se
hata diye jab ke rooh ke andar se ek fit ka roya usay lapet gaya. Kaafi dair tak woh
roya, uska sir neeche jhuka hua tha.

Usay yaad aaya ke woh har saal Umra ke liye yahan aata tha aur Imama Hashim ke
liye ek round perform karta tha. Usne uski lambi umar, uski hifazat aur uske har
gham aur pareshaani se bachane ki dua ki thi. In tamam saalon mein, usne Imama
Hashim ke liye jo kuch soch sakta tha, woh sab kuch manga. Magar is muqaddas
maqam mein khada, usne kabhi Allah se Imama Hashim ko apne liye maanga nahin
tha. Yeh ajeeb baat thi ke usne kabhi yeh dua nahin ki ke woh usay mil jaye. Uske
aansu ruk gaye aur woh uth kar khada ho gaya.

Wazu karne ke baad, usne Umra adha karne ke liye ahram pehna. Jab woh Kaaba ke
gird chakkar laga raha tha, to usay Multazim ke maqam ke kareeb ek jagah mil
gayi—wahi maqam jahan usne khawab mein apne aap ko dekha tha. Usne apne
haath uthaye aur dua ki.

"Yahan tere paighambar aur rasool khade ho kar tujhse dua karte the. Meri dua aur
unki dua mein zameen aasman ka farq hai." Woh minnat kar raha tha. "Main koi
paighambar nahin jo unki tarah dua karoon. Main ek aam insaan hoon jismein insani
kamzoriyaan hain. Meri khwahishein aur meri arzuyaan sab aam hain. Koi yahan
khada ho kar ek aurat ke liye roya nahin hoga—kitna zyada gir chuka hoon main, ke
is paak aur muqaddas jagah mein khada ho kar ek aurat ke liye magar raha hoon?
Magar mere dil aur aansuon par mera ikhtiyar nahin hai."

"Woh main nahin tha jisne usay mere jazbat aur dil mein jagah di, yeh tu tha jisne
usay wahan rakha. Kyun tu ne mere dil ko uske pyar se bhar diya ke tere samne
khada bhi main usay yaad karta hoon? Kyun tu ne mujhe itna bebus banaya ke mere
wujood par mera ikhtiyar nahin hai? Main woh makhlooq hoon jo in sab kamzoriyon
ke sath paida hui. Main woh makhlooq hoon jiska koi rehnuma tere siwa nahin. Aur
woh aurat—woh meri zindagi ke har mod par khadi hai, mujhe aage badhne se rok
rahi hai. Ya to mere dil se uski yaad ko poori tarah mita de, uske pyar ko chheen le,
ya phir usay mujhe de de. Agar mujhe woh nahin mil sakti to meri poori zindagi usay

396
yaad karte hue zaya ho jayegi. Agar woh meri honi hai to mere aansu sirf tere liye
honge—mere aansuon ko yeh paakizgi de de. Yahan khada, main tujhse paak aur
nek aurat ki dua maangta hoon—main Imama Hashim ko maangta hoon."

"Mere aanewale naslon ke liye, main us aurat ki dua karta hoon jo tere Nabi (PBUH)
ke liye apni mohabbat aur izzat mein kisi ko shamil nahin karti, jisne Nabi ke pyar
mein apni zindagi ke tamam asaani aur rahat chhor diye. Agar maine apni zindagi
mein koi accha kaam kiya hai, to uske badle main Imama Hashim ko maangta hoon.
Agar tu chahe, to yeh mumkin hai—abhi bhi."

"Is museebat ko mujhse door kar de! Meri zindagi ko asaan bana de. Is gham se
mujhe azaad kar de jo pichle aath saalon se mujhe lapeta hua hai. Ae Allah, Salar
Sikandar par ek baar phir raham kar, kyunke teri rehmat teri sabse badi sifat hai."

Sir jhuka kar, woh kaafi dair tak roya, usi maqam par khada jahan usne apne aap ko
khawab mein dekha tha—magar ab Imama uske piche khadi nahin thi. Kaafi der tak
roya aur dua ki, phir wahaan se chal pada. Sitaron ki roshni kam ho rahi thi magar
Kaaba roshan tha. Raat der ho chuki thi, lekin haaji ka hujoom tha. Apne khawab ke
baraks, Kaaba ka darwaza khula hua nahi tha. Magar jese hi woh wahaan se chala,
Salar ko halka aur sukhoon mehsoos hua jaise us par se koi bojh utar gaya ho.

Woh us haalat se bahar aa raha tha jisme woh pichle ek mahine se tha. Jab usne dua
khatam ki to ek anjaana sukoon us par chhaa gaya. Aur yeh sukoon aur itminan uske
saath raha jab woh agle hafte Pakistan wapas chala gaya.

--------------------

"Main agle saal PhD mukammal karne ke liye America ja raha hoon." Salar ke alfaz se
heran, Furqan ne Salar ki taraf dekha. "Tumhara kya matlab hai?"

Salar muskuraya, hairan. "Tumhara 'kya matlab hai' ka kya matlab? Main PhD karna
chahta hoon."

"Achanak se?" Furqan ne poocha.

397
"Sahi nahi, yeh mere plans ka hissa tha. Abhi yeh karna behtar hai," Salar ne pur-
sukoon andaaz mein kaha. Woh Furqan ke gaon se wapas aa rahe the. Furqan gaari
chala raha tha; Salar ne achanak usay apne PhD ke plans ke bare mein bataya.

"Maine bank ko inform kar diya hai—main isteefa dene ka soch raha tha, magar woh
mujhe lambi chhuti dena chahte hain. Abhi tak yeh nahi socha ke mujhe unka offer
accept karna chahiye ya resign karna chahiye."

"Sab kuch plan kar liya hai tumne."

"Haan yaar, main mazak nahi kar raha. Main waqai agle saal PhD program join karne
ka irada rakhta hoon."

"Kuch mahine pehle to koi aisi niyat nahi thi."

"Faislay ka kya hai—faisla pal mein kiya ja sakta hai." Salar ne kandhe uchkaaye aur
kheton ko tez se guzarte hue dekha.

"Waise bhi, main banking par ek kitab likhna chahta hoon, magar pichle kuch saalon
se main itna masroof raha hoon ke is par kaam nahi kar saka. Main yeh PhD ke sath
karna chahta hoon aur isay publish bhi karwana chahta hoon. Jab kuch araam milega,
to main aram se yeh kar paunga."

"Aur school ka kya hoga?"

"Koi masla nahi—woh waisa hi chalta rahega jaise ab chal raha hai. Infrastructure bhi
behtar hoga. Board of Governors wahan hain, woh wahan ka daura karenge. Tum bhi
ho, aur maine Papa se baat ki hai…woh school ka regular daura karenge. Mera hona
ya na hona koi farq nahi dalta. Kaafi arse se, school ko Salar Sikandar ke sahare ki
zarurat nahi rahi, na future mein hogi. Waisay bhi, main project ko nahi chhod raha—
main iska khayal rakhunga, aur jab zarurat hogi, main wahan honga. Main pehle bhi
isi tarah manage karta raha hoon."

Usne thermos flask se chai ka cup bharna shuru kiya.

"PhD ke baad kya karoge?" Furqan ne sanjeedgi se poocha.

"Main wapas aunga, aur pehle ki tarah yahan kaam karunga. Main hamesha ke liye
nahi ja raha." Salar muskuraya aur uske kandhe par haath rakha.

"Kya tum kuch saal baad nahi ja sakte?"

398
"Nahi—jo kaam aaj ho sakta hai, woh aaj hi karna chahiye. Usay talna nahi chahiye.
Abhi mujhe aagey padhne ka mann hai. Shayad, baad mein mera mood badal jaye."

Salar ne chai sip ki aur car ka radio tune karne ki koshish ki. "Rotary Club ne agle
weekend par ek event organize kiya hai. Mere paas dawat hai. Tum chalna chahoge?"
usne Furqan se poocha.

"Kyoon nahi? Main khushi se chalunga—unke events hamesha dilchasp hote hain,"
Furqan ne jawab diya. Guftagu ka mawzu badal chuka tha.

---------------

Itwaar ka din tha. Salar der se utha. Akhbar uthate hue, usne headlines par nazar
daali jabke woh apna nashta bana raha tha. Usne bas apne daant saaf kiye the aur
abhi tak nahaya aur shave nahi ki thi. Usne apne pajama par ek dheela pullover
pehna hua tha.

Usne abhi ketli ko stove par rakha hi tha ke doorbell baj uthi.

Akhbar haath mein le kar, woh bahar aaya aur darwaza khola—toh ek haqeeqi
hairani thi.

Woh Saeeda Amma thi jo uske darwaze par khadi thi. Usne unhe andar bula liya.

"Assalaam Alaikum. Aap kaisi hain?" usne hairat par kabu paane ki koshish karte hue
poocha.

"Allah ka shukar hai, main bilkul theek hoon. Aur tum?" unhone garam joshi se
poocha, uske sir par hath pherte hue.

"Main theek hoon, shukriya. Please andar aaiye," usne muskurate hue jawab diya.

"Tum theek nahi lag rahe. Tumhara wazan kam ho gaya hai aur tum kaale bhi lag
rahe ho." Unhone apni chashme ke paar usay ghoorte hue kaha.

"Mera rang nahi gaya—yeh isliye hai kyun ke maine shave nahi ki." Salar ne apni
muskurahat chhupane ki koshish ki jab woh andar aaye.

399
"Accha, accha! Aur kyun shave nahi ki? Daadhi barhane ka iraada hai, mujhe lagta
hai. Achhi baat hai, bohot achhi. Yeh bohot nek kaam hai, bohot achi baat hai,"
unhone kaha jab woh sofa par baith gayi.

"Nahi, Amma, main daadhi barhane ka iraada nahi rakhta. Aaj itwaar hai aur main der
se utha hoon—abhi thodi dair pehle—isse liye abhi tak shave nahi ki."

"Kyun der se uthe? Yeh acchi aadat nahi hai, beta. Tumhe fajr ki namaz ke liye jaldi
uthna chahiye—isse chehre par raushan hoti hai. Tum thakay hue aur mureed lag
rahe ho. Insaan ko jaldi uthna chahiye, namaz parhna chahiye, Quran parhna chahiye,
aur phir subah ki sair par jana chahiye. Yeh tumhari sehat ke liye bhi accha hai aur
Allah ko bhi pasand hai."

Salar ne gehri saans li aur kaha, "Main namaz parhne ke baad soya tha. Main sirf
itwaar ko hi der se sota hoon, warna meri routine bilkul waisi hi hai jaisi aapne bayan
ki hai."

Unhone uski is wazaahat se khushi mehsoos ki. "Bohot accha! Bohot accha! Isme koi
hairat nahi ke tumhare chehre par aisi raushan hai!"

"Ap kya lena pasand karengi?" Salar ne mawzu badalne ki koshish ki—wo apne
chehre ke bare mein aur kuch nahi sunna chahta tha. "Ap nashta lena pasand
karengi?"

"Nahi, main nashta kar chuki hoon. Main chhe ya saat baje nashta karti hoon. Asal
mein, mera lunch gyara ya gyara sair baje hota hai," unhone apni routine batate hue
kaha.

"Toh lunch kar lein. Abhi das baje ke kareeb hain," Salar ne kaha.

"Nahi, mujhe bhook nahi hai. Idhar aao aur mere paas baitho."

"Main abhi aata hoon," Salar ne kaha jab woh kitchen ki taraf gya.

"Main tumhara intezar kar rahi thi chhe mahine se aur tum ek baar bhi mujhe
dekhne nahi aaye," unhone awaz di.

"Main bohot masroof tha, Amma!" usne jawab diya. Woh apne liye chai bana raha
tha.

400
"Kya itna masroof tha ke tumhe waqt nahi mila? Woh jo shadi shuda hain aur jinke
ghar walay hain woh masroof aur masroof rahte hain. Tum na to shadi shuda ho aur
na apne ghar walon ke sath rehte ho, phir bhi tum masroof the..."

Usne unki baat par muskuraya jab woh apne liye toast bana raha tha.

"Ab tumhe dekho," unhone usay daant lagai jab usne chai ka tray lekar aya. "Yeh
tumhara kaam nahi hai." Muskurate hue, usne plates aur cups table par rakh diye.

"Agar tumhari shadi hui hoti, to tumhari biwi yeh sab kar rahi hoti. Yeh ek mard ko
ziabah nahi deta ke yeh kaam kare."

"Ap theek keh rahi hain, Amma, lekin main kya karoon, jab meri biwi nahi hai?" usne
kaha, unhe chai ka cup dete hue.

"Yeh koi jawab nahi hai—kya kar sakte ho—beta, duniya bhar ki jawaan ladkiyan
hain, aur tumhare walidain bhi zinda aur haazir hain, to unse kaho ke tumhare liye ek
achi jori dhoondein. Ya agar tum chaho, to main koshish kar sakti hoon."

Salar ne foran samajh gaya ke maamla naazuk hai. "Oh nahi, shukriya. Please chai
lein. Main apni zindagi se khush hoon. Aur ghar ke kaamon ka taluq hai, to hamare
Pyare Nabi bhi apne kaam khud anjaam dete the."

"Ab tum behtuk baat kar rahe ho—main tumhare bare mein baat kar rahi thi,"
unhone thodi si uljhan se kaha.

"Ap kuch biscuits nahi lengi... ya shayad kuch cake?" usne unka dhyan hattane ki
koshish ki.

"Oh haan, main to bhool hi gayi ke main yahan kyun aayi thi," unhone achanak kuch
yaad karte hue kaha aur apne bade se bag mein kuch talash karne lagi.

"Apki behan ki shadi tay ho gayi hai."

Salar ne achanak apni chai galti se ghalat niche chhod di. Woh pareshan ho gaya.
"Meri behan ki shadi to paanch saal pehle ho gayi thi," usne Saeeda Amma ko
bataya.

Unhone card nikalte hue kaha, "Oh, main apni beti, Amina ki baat kar rahi hoon—
woh tumhari behan ki tarah hai, hai na?"

401
Woh usay card dete hue kuch naraz nazar aayi. Salar ko yeh baat bohot mazaaq lag
rahi thi. Kal tak woh apni beti ki shaadi us se karwane ki koshish kar rahi thi aur ab
achanak se uski behan ban gayi thi! Baharhal, usne sakoon mehsoos kiya: kam az
kam ab woh ya uski beti se koi khatra nahi tha. Usne khushi se unse card le liya.

"Mubarak ho! Shaadi kab hai?" usne card kholte hue poocha.

"Agle hafte."

"Yeh achha hai, Ammaji, kam se kam aapki fikr khatam ho gaye." Usne lafz 'aapke'
par zor diya, 'mere' kehne ke bajaye.

"Haan, Allah ka shukar hai. Yeh bohot achha rishta hai. Meri zimmedari khatam ho
gayi hai aur jab woh bas jayegi, main apne beton ke paas England chali jaungi."

Salar ne ek sarseri nazar se card dekha.

"Main yahan khaas tor par tumhe dawat dene aayi hoon. Is dafa koi bahaney nahi—
tumhe shaadi par zaroor aana hai. Tum bhai ho, aur tumhe usay uske naye ghar
rukhsat karna hai."

Salar apni muskurahat dabate hue chai ka ghoont liya. "Fikr mat karo; main zaroor
aunga," usne tasalli di jab usne apne liye toast par makkhan lagaya.

"Mere paas Furqan ke liye bhi card hai. Mujhe usay bhi dena hai," unhone soch mein
parh kar kaha.

"Furqan ko aaj apne saalon ke ghar jana tha apni biwi ke sath. Woh chal chuka hoga.
Aap mujhe card de dijiye, main usay pohuncha dunga."

"Agar tum bhool gaye to?" Saeeda Amma ko yaqeen nahi aaya.

"Main nahi bhoolunga. Kyun nahi aap us se baat kar leti? Main abhi call karta hoon."

Unhone khushi se kaha, "Oh haan, yeh theek hai. Usay call karo."

Salar ne telephone ko table par laya, Furqan ka cell number dial kiya aur speaker
switch on kar diya, jab woh apne nashta karne laga.

"Furqan, Saeeda Amma yahan hain," usne kaha. "Unse baat karo."

Salar ne khamoshi se Furqan aur Saeeda Amma ke darmiyan guftagu sunni. Jab unki
baat khatam hui, Salar apna nashta khatam kar chuka tha.

Jab woh kitchen mein saman rakh raha tha, uske zehan mein ek soch ayi.

402
"Aap kis ke sath aayi hain?" usne poocha.

"Mere betay ke sath," Saeeda Amma ne itminan se jawab diya.

"Oh, to aapka beta yahan hai? Kon sa—bara ya chota?" Salar ne kuch dilchaspi se
poocha.

"Main apne padosi ke betay, Rashid, ki baat kar rahi hoon," unhone kuch narazgi se
tafseel batayi.

Salar ko samajh aya ke unke liye har larka unka beta aur har ladki unki beti thi—wo
asani se rishtay banati thi.

"To woh kahan hai?"

"Woh wapas chala gaya. Main uske sath motorbike par aayi thi—woh hawa ki tarah
chalata hai! Hum ne 9 baje start kiya aur usne mujhe bilkul 10:30 par yahan
pohuncha diya. Main use keh rahi thi dheere chalao lekin woh sunta nahi tha. Jab
hum yahan pohunche to usne kaha ke yeh akhri dafa hai jo woh mujhe motorbike
par lift de raha hai. 'Agli dafa, main aapko paidal chhodunga,' usne kaha..."

Salar ko is baat par maza aya. Usne achi tarah samajh liya tha ke ek jawan ladke ke
liye ek ghante se zyada ka safar jo asal mein aadha ghanta ka tha, bohot mushkil
tha. Budhon ke sath waqt guzaarna asaan nahi hota—yeh baat Salar ko pehli baar
Saeeda Amma se milne par hi samajh aayi thi.

"To aap wapas kaise jayengi? Rashid aapko lene aayega?"

"Haan, usne kaha tha ke match ke baad aayega. Dekhte hain kab aata hai." Phir woh
apni beti aur uske in-laws ke bare mein baat karne lagi. Salar ne sabar se suna
halanke usay koi dilchaspi nahi thi, lekin usay yeh bhi maloom tha ke wo banking ke
mamlat us se discuss nahi kar sakti thi. Jo bhi woh keh rahi thi, usay kam hi samajh
aya lekin usne aise pretend kiya jaise woh bohot dilchaspi le raha ho.

Unhone uske sath lunch bhi kiya. Usne freezer se kuch garam karne ki koshish nahi ki
kyunke usay shaadi ke faiday par ek aur round of advice nahi chahiye thi. Is liye usne
takeaway se kuch order kar liya. Jab Rashid ab tak nahi aaya tha, Salar ne unhe ghar
chhodne ki offer di. Unhone khushi se qubool kiya aur kaha ke is tarah woh uska
ghar bhi dekh lega.

403
"Mujhe aapka address maloom hai," usne yaad dilaya jab woh apni car keys talash
kar raha tha.

Aadha ghanta baad woh unke ghar tha. Usne unhe darwaze tak chhod diya, lekin jab
unhone andar aane ko kaha to usne politely mana kar diya kehke usay ghar mein
bohot kaam hai. Usay turant afsos hua jab unki nasihatain phir se shuru hui.

"Oh, beta! Isiliye to main tumhe keh rahi hoon ke shaadi kar lo. Tumhari biwi ghar ka
kaam dekhti aur tum bahar ja sakte apna weekend domestic chores mein guzarnay
ke bajaye." Unhone usay taras khate hue dekha.

"Haan, bilkul, aap theek keh rahi hain. Ab main jaoon?" Salar ne bohot farma bardari
se kaha.

"Bilkul, lekin yaad rahe, tumhe shaadi par zaroor aana hai. Aur Furqan ko ek martaba
phir se yaad dilana aur uska card bhi dena."

Salar ne doorbell bajai aur phir wapas mud gaya. Usne suna ke peche darwaza khula
aur phir Saeeda Amma apni beti se guftagu kar rahi thi.

"Phir tumhara kya programme hai? Tum aa rahe ho?" Furqan ne agle din apna card
lene aate hue poocha.

"Nahi, main is weekend Karachi ja raha hoon IBA seminar ke liye. Main Sunday ko
wapas aaunga aur baqi din sona chahta hoon—aur kuch nahi. Tum ja sakte ho. Main
tumhe gift envelope de dunga uske liye; usay meri maafi ke sath dena yaad rakhna."

"Yeh bohot sharmnaak baat hai, Salar. Woh itni door se tumhe mohabbat se dawat
dene ayi thi," Furqan ne halka se usay daanta.

"Mujhe maloom hai lekin main wahan ja kar apna waqt zaya nahi kar sakta."

"Ham zyada dair nahi rukenge—we‘ll be back soon."

"Furqan, mera wapas ana confirm nahi hai... ho sakta hai main din mein na lautun,
yeh raat ko Sunday ho sakta hai."

"Tum waqai bekaar ho! Aur woh bohot niraash hongi."

"Iska koi farq nahi parta—mere wahan na hone se shaadi nahi rukegi. Shayad unko
andaza hai ke main shamil nahi ho sakta. Aur waise bhi, tum aur main itne aham
mehman nahi hain," Salar ne laaparwahi se kaha.

404
"Khair, meri biwi aur main jaenge, chahay hum kitne hi aham ya na aham mehman
hon," Furqan ne gusse se jawab diya.

"Main tumhe nahi rok raha—tum bilkul wahan ja sakte ho. Waise bhi tumhara
Saeeda Amma ke sath zyada comfortable aur informal taluq hai."

"Lekin phir bhi woh tumhari zyada fikar karti hain," Furqan ne dawa kiya.

"Yeh unki mehrbani hai," Salar ne halki muskurahat ke sath kaha.

"Jo bhi ho, woh tumhare liye concerned rehti hain. Agar kuch nahi to Dr. Sibt-e-Ali
ka lihaz kar ke tumhe shamil hona chahiye kyunke woh unki qareebi rishtedaar hain."
Furqan ne Salar ko razi karne ke liye yeh angle try kiya.

"Dr. Ali khud shehar se bahar hain; aur agar woh yahan hote, to woh mujhe shaadi
attend karne par majboor nahi karte, jaise tum kar rahe ho."

"Thik hai, tum apni marzi karo. Main tumhe majboor nahi kar raha," Furqan ne haar
maan li.

Salar ne apne laptop par kaam karna dobara shuru kar diya.

----------------------

Yeh ek hari bhari jagah thi, jaise ek baagh, aur woh dono wahan darakhton aur
phoolon ke darmiyan the. Har taraf khamoshi thi. Woh phoolo se bhari jhaari ke paas
dhoop mein baithe hue the. Imama apne ghutnon ko baahon se lapete hue baithi thi
jabke Salar ghaas par leta hua tha, uski aankhein band theen. Unke joote kuch
faaslay par pade the. Imama ne ek khoobsurat safed shawl pehni hui thi. Woh gehri
guftagu mein the aur Imama kuch dekhte hue us se baat kar rahi thi. Salar ne uske
shawl ka ek kona uthakar apni aankhon par rakha tha, jaise dhoop se bachne ke liye.
Woh shawl usay sukoon aur khushi de raha tha. Imama ne shawl wapas lene ki koi
koshish nahi ki. Dhoop usay taazgi de rahi thi aur aankhein band, usay shawl ka
narm ahsaas apne chehre par mehsoos ho raha tha. Usay neend si ane lagi aur jaldi
hi woh gehri neend mein chala gaya.

405
Salar achanak se jaag gaya. Woh apne bistar par leta hua tha. Kuch ne uski neend tor
di thi, aur usne idhar udhar dekha. Yeh woh jagah nahi thi jahan woh hona chahta
tha—ek aur khwab...ek aur sarab...usne dobara aankhein band kar lein. Phir uski
tawajjo bed ke paas bajne wali cell phone ki ghanti par gayi—yehi thi jo usay uske
khwabon se door kheench laayi thi. Bari nafrat se, usne phone uthaya. Furqan ka call
tha.

"Kahan the tum Salar? Main ghanton se call kar raha hoon...tum kyun nahi phone
utha rahe the?" Furqan ne jaise hi Salar ki awaaz suni, kaha.

"Main so raha tha," Salar ne jawab diya, jab woh bistar par baitha. Uski nazar ghari
par pari—chaar baj rahe the shaam ke.

"Fauran Saeeda Amma ke ghar pohunch jao!" Furqan ne kaha.

"Kyun? Maine tumhe bataya tha ke main..."

"Mujhe maloom hai tumne kya kaha tha," Furqan ne beech mein hi roka, "lekin
yahan ek emergency hai."

"Kaisi emergency?" Salar ne pareshani se poocha.

"Yeh tumhe wahan aane par pata chalega. Abhi fauran yahan aao; main phone rakh
raha hoon." Furqan ne phone band kar diya.

Salar ne phone ko dekha, pareshan. Furqan ki awaaz, uska lehja, uski fikar dikhata tha
lekin Saeeda Amma ke ghar ka masla kya ho sakta tha? Pandrah minute mein, Salar
tayar ho kar raste par tha.

Furqan ka agla call usay tab aaya jab woh gari chala raha tha.

"Kam az kam mujhe batao kya hua hai? Tumne mujhe sach mein pareshan kar diya
hai," Salar ne phir poocha.

"Pareshan hone ki zarurat nahi—tum yahan aarahe ho, tumhe sab pata chal jayega.
Main phone par tafseelat nahi de sakta." Furqan ne phir phone band kar diya.

Salar ne tezi se gari chalayi aur aadhe ghante ka safar pandrah minute mein
mukammal kiya.

Furqan usay Saeeda Amma ke ghar ke bahar mila. Salar ko umeed thi ke yahan
bohot shor sharaba aur celebrations honge, lekin aisa kuch nahi tha.

406
Wahan koi shaadi ka jashn ya barat ka pata nahi tha. Woh Furqan ke saath ek purani
style ke drawing room mein chala gaya jo main door ke baayen tha.

"Yeh kya baat thi jo tumne mujhe is tarah bulaya?" Salar gusse se poocha.

"Saeeda Amma aur unki beti ke sath ek bara masla ho gaya hai," Furqan ne kaha jab
woh uske samne baith gaya. Woh bohot pareshan lag raha tha.

"Kya masla?"

"Jis larke se uski beti ki shaadi hone wali thi, usne shaadi se inkaar kar diya aur apni
marzi se kisi aur larki se shaadi kar li hai."

"Yeh to bohot bura hua!" Salar ne hairan hote hue kaha.

"Woh log kuch der pehle hi Saeeda Amma ko phone kar ke inform kiya aur afsos ka
izhar kiya. Woh yahan nahi aayenge. Main kuch der pehle unke ghar gaya tha—unke
paas koi rasta nahi hai. Unhe apne bete ka kuch pata nahi hai ke woh kahan ho
sakta hai. Usne bas phone karke apne faisle ke bare mein bataya."

"Agar usay shaadi mein dilchaspi nahi thi, to usay apne walidain ko imandari se bata
dena chahiye tha. Agar usmein bhaagne ki himmat thi to usmein apne walidain se
mana karne ki bhi himmat honi chahiye thi." Salar ko yeh mamla bohot nafrat angaz
laga. "Saeeda Amma ke betay yahan hone chahiye thay is situation ko handle karne
ke liye."

"Haan, lekin kyunke woh yahan nahi hain, kisi ko to yeh sambhalna padega."

"Kya Saeeda Amma ke aur koi qareebi rishtedaar yahan nahi hain?" Salar ne poocha.

"Maine Dr. Sibt-e-Ali se kuch der pehle baat ki thi," Furqan ne usay inform kiya.

"Lekin Dr. Ali yahan nahi hain—agar woh yahan hote, to baat alag hoti," Salar ne
kaha.

"Unhone mujhse kaha ke tumhe phone par baat karwaoon."

"Mujhse? Main kya madad kar sakta hoon?" Salar achanak se hoshiyar ho gaya.

"Amina se shaadi karke."

Salar ko yaqeen nahi aaya ke usne kya suna—woh Furqan ko hairani se ghoorne
laga. "Kya tum paagal ho gaye ho?" woh mushkil se lafz nikal paya.

"Haan, main bilkul theek hoon."

407
"Phir tumhe maloom nahi ke tum kya keh rahe ho." Salar ka chehra gusse se lal ho
gaya. Woh uth kar nikalne laga lekin Furqan ne uska rasta roka.

"Tumne aisa kehne ki himmat kaise ki?" Salar mushkil se apni awaaz par qaboo
paaya.

"Jo kuch maine kaha, woh Dr. Ali ke kehne par kaha."

Salar ka chehra jazbat ka ek jhilmilata hua paimana ban gaya. "Tumne mera naam
kyun suggest kiya?"

"Maine kuch suggest nahi kiya, Salar! Unhone khud yeh suggest kiya. Unhone mujhse
kaha ke tumse kaho ke is waqt Saeeda Amma ki madad karo aur unki beti se shaadi
karo."

Salar ko aisa mehsoos hua jaise zameen uske pairon ke neeche se khisak gayi ho, ya
asmaan uske upar se gir gaya ho. Woh mur kar sofa par gir gaya.

"Furqan, kya tumne unhe bataya ke main pehle se shadi-shuda hoon?"

"Haan, maine bataya tha ke tum saal pehle shadi kar chuke ho, lekin woh larki gayab
ho gayi aur tumhe kabhi nahi mili."

"Phir?"

"Iske bawajood woh chahte hain ke tum Amina se shaadi karo."

"Furqan... main..." Salar ruk gaya, phir poocha, "aur Imama? Uska kya hoga?"

"Imama tumhari zindagi se in saalon mein door rahi hai. Khuda jaane woh kahan
hai—ya phir agar woh ab bhi hain ya nahi."

"Furqan!" Salar ne sakhti se roka. "Usay akela chhod do, chahe woh hai ya nahi. Agar
kal ko woh wapas aayi to kya hoga?"

"Behtar hoga ke tum Dr. Ali se baat kar lo," Furqan ne mashwara diya.

"Nahi. Tum Saeeda Amma aur unki beti ko sachai bata do. Ho sakta hai ke woh
pehle se shadi-shuda mard ko apna damaad qubool na karein. Agar aisa hota, to
woh us mard ko bhi qubool kar leti jo apni marzi se shadi kar ke chala gaya."

"Agar woh apne ghar walon ke sath aata, to woh usay bhi qubool kar leti, lekin
masla yeh hai ke woh Amina ko apni doosri biwi banane ke liye tayar nahi."

"Usay dhondha ja sakta hai."

408
"Haan, usay dhondha ja sakta hai, lekin abhi nahi."

"Dr. Ali ne Amina ke liye sahi intekhab nahi kiya—main usay kya de sakta hoon?
Main us mard se bhi bura hoon jo usay chor kar chala gaya." Salar ne haaray hue
mard ki tarah kaha.

"Salar, unhe abhi kisi ki zarurat hai, aur jab zarurat ka waqt hota hai, sirf wahi shaks
qeemti hota hai jo bharosa mand ho. Tumne apni zindagi mein bohot se logon ki
madad ki hai—kya tum Dr. Ali ke liye kuch nahi kar sakte?"

"Maine doosron ki madad maali tor par ki hai," usne kaha. "Dr. Ali ko meri paise ki
zarurat nahi hai."

Furqan kuch kehne wala tha ke uska phone bajne laga. Usne screen par number
dekha aur phone Salar ki taraf badhaya. Yeh Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ka call tha.

Salar ne sanjeedha chehre ke sath call uthaya. Phone apne kaan se lagate hue, Salar
ko mehsoos hua ke sab kuch kisi ko nahi bataya ja sakta. Jo kuch usne Furqan ko
bataya tha, woh unchi aur ghusse bhari awaaz mein Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ko nahi keh sakta
tha. Woh unhe 'Nahi' nahi keh sakta tha. Woh na to unse behes kar sakta tha aur na
hi koi bahane de sakta tha. Dr. Ali ne apni mamooli naram lehje mein usse baat ki.

"Agar tum apne walidain ki raza mandi le sako, to Amina se shaadi kar lo. Woh meri
apni beti ki tarah hai. Samjho ke main tumse apni beti ke liye darkhwast kar raha
hoon. Main tumhe bohot takleef mein daal raha hoon, lekin main majboor hoon—
mere paas koi aur rasta nahi."

"Main aapki baat manunga." Salar ne dheemi awaaz mein kaha. "Darkhwast mat
karo—bas apna hukum sunao," usne paaya ke woh keh raha tha.

Furqan das minute baad kamre mein wapas aaya. Usne Salar ko farsh par baithe, cell
phone haath mein liye, khoya hua aur chup dekha.

Furqan ne ek kursi kheench kar uske samne baith gaya. "Kya tumne Dr. Ali se baat
ki?" usne naram lehje mein poocha.

Salar ne sir uthaya aur bina kuch kahe cell phone wapas kar diya. Kuch der baad,
usne kaha, "Main usay ghar abhi nahi le jaunga. Sirf nikah kaafi hoga."

409
Salar ne apni hatheliyon ki lakeeron ko dekhna shuru kiya. Furqan ko uske liye bohot
afsos hua—yeh pehli martaba nahi tha jab kisi insaan ko haalaat ne qurban kar diya
tha.

----------------------------

Raat gehri hoti ja rahi thi aur sadak par traffic lagbhag na honay ke barabar tha.
Kohra dheere dheere har cheez ko apni lapet mein le raha tha.

Streetlight ka noor kohray se guzar kar balacony tak aa raha tha, jahan Salar rail ke
paas ek stool par baitha tha. Uske samne ek coffee ka mug tha, jis se bhaap uthi aur
andheray mein ajeeb sooratein banati ja rahi thi. Woh apne seene par bahein lapete,
khali sadak ko ghurta raha. Woh ek ajeeb manzar tha, kohray aur andheray mein
lapeta hua.

Das baj rahe the aur woh kuch minute pehle hi ghar pohuncha tha. Nikah ki rasm ke
baad, woh foran nikal gaya aur ghanton tak be-manzil gari chalata raha. Usne apna
mobile band kar diya tha kyunke woh akela rehna chahta tha. Usay duniya se koi
taluq nahi rakhna tha. Woh Furqan se baat nahi karna chahta tha jo zaroor call karke
wazaahat karne ki koshish karta. Woh Dr. Sibt-e-Ali se baat nahi karna chahta tha jo
usay shukriya ada karne ke liye call karte. Usay bas mukammal khamoshi chahiye thi.

Garam coffee se uthti bhaap ko dekhte hue, usne kuch ghanton pehle ke waqiat ko
dobara mehsoos kiya. Yeh sab ek khwab ki tarah tha. Usne chaaha ke yeh ek khwab
hi ho. Wahan baithe, usay Kaaba mein ki hui apni dua yaad aayi.

“To kya yeh ilahi faisla hai ke usay meri zindagi se door kar diya jaye?” usne
dardnaak andaaz mein socha. “Phir yeh azaab bhi khatam ho jaana chahiye tha,
kyunke maine is dard se rehai maangi thi, uski yaad se nijaat maangi thi.” Usne apne
thande haathon ko garam mug ke ird gird lapeta aur uski kadvi coffee ko peene
laga. “To, Imama Hashim, tum meri zindagi se hamesha ke liye nikal gayi ho.”

Salar ne un sab imkaanat par socha jo is surat-e-haal ko rok sakte the. Kaash usne
Saeeda Amma se mulakat na ki hoti aur usay ghar chhodne ka offer na kiya hota;
Kaash usne uska address pata na lagaya hota aur usay ghar na laaya hota—to na to
yeh rishtay bante aur na hi usay shaadi par dawat milti. Kaash woh Karachi hi ruk

410
gaya hota Lahore wapas na aaya hota ya apna mobile band karke so gaya hota, aur
phone ka connection bhi band kar diya hota, ya Furqan ka call na uthaya hota. Agar
usne Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ko nahi jaana hota, to woh unki request ko maanna majboor nahi
hota.

"Imama mere naseeb mein nahi hai," usne dukh se socha aur apne chehre par haath
pherte hue apni wallet nikala, jaise kuch yaad aaya ho, aur ek chhota sa folded paper
nikala. Usne usay khola aur padha.

“Dear Uncle Sikandar,

I am so sorry to learn of the death of your son. Some years ago, your family was put
to a lot of trouble on my account, for which I am very sorry. I had to pay Salar some
money which I am enclosing.

Allah Hafiz,

Imama Hashim”

Usay yaad nahi tha ke kitni baar usne yeh pichle nau maheenon mein padha tha. Jab
bhi usne is kagaz ko chhua, usay Imama ka touch mehsoos hota... uska naam, jo
usne likha tha, lekin is chhoti si chitthi mein koi apnapan nahi tha. Usay yeh bhi
maloom tha ke uski maut ki khabar ne Imama ko koi dukh nahi diya tha. Yeh khabar
usay do aur aadha saal baad rehai ka ehsas de gayi thi, to yeh uske liye kaisay
takleef ka sabab ho sakti thi. Phir bhi, is kagaz ke tukde par likhi yeh chand linein
uske liye bohot ahem ho gayi thi.

Usne un lines par apni ungliyan pheri, Imama Hashim ka naam par thahar kar. Phir
usne us chitthi ko dobara fold kiya aur apni wallet mein rakh liya. Mug abhi bhi kuch
thandi aur kadwi coffee se bhara hua tha—usne ek ghoont mein pi liya.

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali agle hafte England se wapas aane wale the.

Salar unka intezar kar raha tha. Jo kuch woh unse Imama Hashim ke bare mein
kehne mein naakam raha, woh sab ab batana chahta tha—apni guzashta zindagi ke
bare mein jo kuch woh chupaye rakha tha, Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ko sab kuch batana chahta
tha.

Ab usay parwa nahi thi ke woh kya sochenge.

411
------------------

Yeh Ramzan ka chautha din tha jab Dr. Sibt-e-Ali wapas aaye. Wo raat ko kaafi dair
se aaye they aur Salar ne unhein disturb nahi karna chaaha. Usne agle sham unhein
milne ka plan banaya tha lekin achanak, Dr. Ali ne dopahar mein bank mein call kiya.
Yeh unka teesra phone tha nikkah ke baad. Rasmi guftagu ke baad, Dr. Ali ne kaha,
"Raat ko dair se mat aana, jaldi aana aur iftar mere saath karo."

"Bilkul, main aajaunga," Salar ne maan liya. Thodi dair baat karne ke baad Dr. Ali ne
phone band kar diya.

Salar bank se aam din se thoda pehle nikal gaya. Ghar jaake kapray badlay aur iftar
se aik ghanta pehle Dr. Ali ke ghar pohanch gaya. Dr. Ali ke naukar ne usay majlis
mein bithane ke bajaye seedha lounge mein le gaya. Dr. Ali ne usay garam joshi se
milte hue gale lagaya aur pyar se uske mathay pe hont rakh diye.

"Tum pehle yahaan doston ke tor pe aate they, lekin aaj tum ghar ke aik fard ki tarah
aaye ho." Salar ko maloom tha ke unka ishara kis taraf hai.

"Baitho," Dr. Ali ne sofa ki taraf ishara kiya aur khud dusri taraf baith gaye. "Mubarak
ho! Ab tum akhir kar settled ho gaye ho." Salar ne unhein khamoshi se dekha aur
halka sa muskuraya. Dr. Ali khushi se muskurate hue keh rahe they, "Main bohot
khush hoon ke tumne Amina se shadi ki. Wo mere liye chauthi beti jaisi hai aur is
tarah tum mere damaad ho."

Salar ne apni nazar jhuka li. Agar Imama Hashim ka chapter uski zindagi ka hissa na
hota, to wo yeh baat sun ke fakhar mehsoos karta. Magar Imama ne sab kuch badal
diya tha, wo jo thi aur nahi bhi thi.

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne kuch dair Salar ko dekha aur phir kaha, "Tum itne saalon se yahaan
aate rahe ho, lekin kabhi yeh nahi bataya ke tum shadi-shuda ho. Jab bhi yeh
maamla chhda, tumne kabhi zikr nahi kiya."

Salar ne unhein dekha. "Maine batane ki koshish ki thi, lekin..." wo chup ho gaya.

"Kya bataun, sab kuch ajeeb tha," usne socha.

"Shadi kab hui?" Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne dheere se poocha.

412
"Aath saal pehle, jab main ikkis saal ka tha," usne majboori se kaha, aur phir dheere
dheere sab kuch unhein bata diya.

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne ek baar bhi usay nahi tokka. Wo bohot dair tak khamosh rahe jab
Salar chup ho gaya.

Aakhir mein unhone kaha, "Amina bohot achi ladki hai aur wo kismat wali hai ke
usay ek nek shauhar mila."

Unke alfaz Salar ke liye ek chot ki tarah they.

"Nek? Main nek nahi hoon, Dr. Ali! Main... main sabse ghatiya insaan hoon. Agar aap
mujhe jaante, to yeh lafz kabhi istemal na karte, na mujhe is ladki ke saath shadi ke
liye pasand karte jo aapke liye beti jaisi hai."

"Hamari zindagiyon mein, hum sab ne kisi na kisi marhala pe 'jahalat ke dor' se guzra
hai. Kuch log is se nikal jaate hain aur kuch sari zindagi is mein uljhe rehte hain. Tum
is se nikal chuke ho—tumhari pashemani aur nadamat yeh sabit karti hai. Main
tumhein pashemani aur maghfirat maangne se nahi rokungi—tumhare liye yeh
zaroori hai ke tum aisa karte raho lekin shukar ada karo ke tumhein ek bimar khudi
se nijaat mil gayi hai.

"Agar duniya ka maal-o-daulat tumhein ab moh nahi deta, agar Allah ka khauf
tumhein rula deta hai, agar dozakh ka tasavvur tumhein darata hai, agar tum Allah ki
ibadat waise karte ho jaise ke zaroori hai, agar nek amal tumhein apni taraf
kheenchte hain aur burai se tum door ho jaate ho, to tum nek ho. Kuch log paidaishi
nek hote hain, kuch nek ban jaate hain. Paidaishi nek hona khush naseebi hai lekin
nek banne mein aik talwar ki dhaar par chalne jaisa hai; ismein zyada waqt lagta hai
aur zyada dard hota hai.

"Main ab bhi maanta hoon ke tum nek insaan ho kyunke tumne is ke liye mehnat ki
hai, aur Allah ne tumhare liye bade kaam muqarrar kiye hain."

Salar ki aankhon mein aansu aa gaye. Dr. Ali ne phir bhi Imama ke baare mein kuch
nahi kaha, na hi kuch poocha. Kya iska matlab tha ke wo uski zindagi se hamesha ke
liye nikal gayi? Kya iska matlab tha ke wo kabhi bhi uske mustaqbil ka hissa nahi
banegi? Kya usay apni zindagi Amina ke saath hi guzaarni padegi? Yeh soch ke uska
dil doob gaya. Usne Dr. Ali se kuch tasalli de deti baatein sunne ki khwahish ki, kuch
aisi baatein jo usay umeed de sakti.

413
Dr. Ali khamosh rahe. Salar ne unhein khamoshi se dekha.

"Main tumhare aur Amina ke liye dil se dua karunga. Waise bhi, main ne Kaaba aur
Rasool Allah (PBUH) ke roza mubarak par tumhare liye dua ki thi." London se wapas
aate waqt Dr. Ali ne Umra kiya tha. Salar ne apna sir jhuka liya.

Dur se azaan ki awaaz sunayi de rahi thi. Naukar iftar laga raha tha. Bhari dil ke
saath, usne Dr. Ali ke saath roza khola aur phir unke saath maghrib ki namaz parhne
ke liye qareebi masjid gaya. Wapas aake, unke saath dinner kiya aur phir apne flat
chala gaya.

Salar ne Dr. Ali ke ghar se wapas aane ke baad Furqan ko call kiya. Raat ke das baj
rahe they. Furqan night duty par tha.

"Kya tum mere saath Saeeda Amma ke ghar chal sakte ho kal?"

"Ha, kyun nahi—kuch khaas baat?"

"Mujhe Amina se kuch baatein karni hain."

Furqan jawab nahi de saka: Salar ki awaz mein koi talkhiyan nahi thi.

"Kis tarah ki baatein?"

"Kuch pareshani ki baat nahi," Salar ne usay tasalli dene ki koshish ki.

"Magar phir bhi," Furqan ne zid ki. "Kya tum usay Imama ke baare mein batana
chahte ho?"

"Pehlay, mere sawal ka jawab do: kya tum mere saath chaloge?" Salar ne jawab dene
ke bajaye poocha.

"Ha, main chalunga."

"Phir main tumhein kal batata hoon ke mujhe usay kya kehna hai." Furqan kuch keh
pata, Salar ne phone rakh diya.

-----------------------------

"Imama ke bare mein baat karna chahte ho?" Furqan ne poocha jab wo gaadi chala
raha tha.

414
"Nahi, sirf Imama ke bare mein nahi, balkay bohot si aur cheezen bhi," Salar ne jawab
diya.

"Khuda ke liye, Salar, un masail ko mat chedo jo ab mar chuke hain," Furqan ne
nafrat se kaha.

"Usay meri zindagi ke maqsad aur priorities maloom honi chahiye agar usay apni
zindagi mere saath guzarni hai," Salar ne Furqan ke gusse ko nazar andaz karte hue
kaha.

"Wo sab samajh jaayegi—wo samajhdar ladki hai aur jab wo tumhare saath aake
rahegi, sab kuch samajh jaayegi. Tum tab bata sakte ho jab wo yahaan aaye aur sab
kuch samajh sake, pandora box kholne ki zaroorat nahi."

"Usay ab batane ka kya faida, jab wo mere ghar aa chuki ho aur uske paas koi rasta
na ho wapas jane ka? Main chahta hoon ke wo meri baat sune, samjhe, sochay aur
phir faisla kare."

"Wo ab koi faisla nahi kar sakti, wo tumse shadi kar chuki hai."

"Haan, lekin shadi mukammal nahi hui."

"Is se kya farq padta hai?"

"Kyoon nahi? Agar usay meri baaton par koi aitraaz ho, to wo is rishte ko dekh sakti
hai," Salar ne bohot sanjeedgi se jawab diya.

Furqan ne ghussa bharay nazar se usay dekha. "Aur kis tarah ki baatein aur wajahein
tum usay dekhne ke liye soch rahe ho?"

"Sirf kuch baatein, jo usay maloom honi chahiye," Salar ne sakt leje mein jawab diya.
"Wo Dr. Ali ke rishtedaar hain aur main unhein bohot izzat se dekhta hoon. Agar
unhone mujhe na bataya hota, to yeh rishta bhi na hota. Magar main..."

Furqan ne beech mein hi rok diya. "Theek hai, jo kehna hai keh do, lekin Imama ka
zikr zara kam karo, kyunki agar kuch usay dukh dega, to wo yeh baat hai. Shayad, wo
baaki baatein bardasht kar le, lekin dusri biwi hona asaan nahi."

"Main chahta hoon ke wo is baat ko mehsoos kare aur soche. Tum kehte ho wo
khoobsurat hai, achi taleem yafta, acchi family se hai, waghera..."

Furqan ne phir se rok diya. "Bas karo, Salar! Jo kehna hai keh do..."

415
"Main usay akele mein baat karna chahta hoon."

"Main Saeeda Amma ko bata deta hoon. Wo tumhare liye intezaam kar dengi ke tum
Amina se akele mil sako." Furqan ne mayoosi se sir hilaaya.

Aadha ghanta baad, wo Saeeda Amma ke ghar they. Unhone darwaza khola aur Salar
aur Furqan ko dekh kar khushi se jhoom uthi. Unhein baithak mein le gayi.

"Saeeda Amma, Salar ko Amina se akele baat karni hai," Furqan ne kamray mein
dakhil hote hue kaha.

Saeeda Amma thodi pareshan lag rahi thi. "Kis bare mein baat karni hai?" Unhone ab
Salar ki taraf dekha jo Furqan ke saath khada tha.

"Unhe kuch baatein khud usay batani hain. Koi pareshani ki baat nahi," Furqan ne
unke dar ko kam karne ki koshish ki. Unhone dobara Salar ko dekha: usne nazar
chura li.

"Theek hai... mere saath aao, Amina andar hai. Tum us se wahaan mil sakte ho."
Saeeda Amma andar chali gayi, aur Furqan ko dekhte hue Salar unke peeche chal
diya.

Baithak main dakhil hotay hi, seedha samnay se masroof darwaza tha. Uske baad ek
bara, purana lakri ka darwaza tha jo thoda khula tha. Uske baad ek bara, laal farsh
wala aangan nazar aa raha tha. Saeeda Amma us darwaze ki taraf chal rahi thi. Salar
unke peeche kuch qadam peechay tha, thoda mutaraddid.

Aangan ke kinaare phoolon ke beeds they: hare pauday aur creepers laal-eent ki
deewar par khoobsurat lag rahe they. Dhoop ne aangan ke ek hisson ko bhar diya
tha, jis se eenton aur tiles ka laal rang aur bhi chamak raha tha. Salar achanak apni
jagah ruk gaya. Aangan ke dhoop wale hisson mein ek charpai thi aur ek ladki jo
shayad wahaan baithi thi, ab khadi ho gayi thi apni peeth ke saath. Wo safed kurta
aur kaali shalwar pehne hue thi, aur shayad abhi naha ke aayi thi kyunki uske baal
geelay aur kamar tak latak rahe they. Uska safed dupatta charpai par padha tha.

Usne apni aasteen uthate hue Salar ki taraf dekha.

Salar wahaan ruk gaya, saans rukh gayi. Kabhi zindagi mein usne itni khoobsurat
ladki nahi dekhi thi, ya shayad kabhi kisi ne itna khoobsurat nahi lagta. Yaqeenan yeh
Amina hi ho sakti thi. Aur kaun ho sakta tha—ghar mein uske siwa koi aur nahi tha.

416
Wo wahaan se hila nahi, nazar hata nahi saka. Koi tha jo uska dil apne qabze mein le
chuka tha aur wo keh nahi sakta ke uska dhadkan ruk gayi thi ya tez ho gayi thi.

Uske aur Amina ke darmiyan bohot faasla tha. Jab wo mudi, uski pehli nazar Saeeda
Amma par pari.

"Salar yahaan hain." Saeeda Amma Amina ke kareeb thi, jo apni gardan mor kar
aangan ke darwaze ki taraf dekhne lagi. Salar ne uske chehre par hairani dekhi; phir
usne dobara mor liya, apni peeth Salar ki taraf karte hue. Usne charpai se apna
dupatta uthaya aur apne upar lapet liya, apna sir bhi dhak liya. Ab uske baal uski
peeth par nazar nahi aa rahe they. Salar uski itminan dekh kar hairan tha—na to koi
ghabrahat thi, na jaldbazi, na hi hairani.

Saeeda Amma Salar ki taraf murri aur usey ab bhi darwaze mein khara paaya, "Andar
aao beta! Kyu darwaze mein kharay ho? Yeh bhi tumhara hi ghar hai."

Amina, jo apne dupatta se dhak chuki thi, usne dubara Salar ki taraf dekha. Wo ab
bhi usay ghoor raha tha, baghair palak jhapkaye, bilkul bayharakat, jaise pathar ban
gaya ho. Amina ke chehre par ek jhalak aayi: Salar ne aage badhne ki koshish ki.

"Yeh Amina hai, meri beti," Saeeda Amma ne uska taaruf karaya.

"Assalaam Alaikum," Salar ne Amina ko kehte suna. Magar wo jawab dene mein
naakam raha. Wo us se kuch kadam door thi aur usay dekhna mushkil ho raha tha.

Salar ko ghabrahat mehsoos hone lagi; Amina ne uski ghabrahat mehsoos ki.

"Salar tum se baat karna chahta hai," Saeeda Amma ne Amina ko bataya.

Amina ne dobara Salar ki taraf dekha. Unki nazar mili aur phir hata di. Amina ne
Saeeda Amma ki taraf dekha aur Salar ne Amina ke hathon ki taraf, jo mehndi ke
naqshon se bharay hue they. Wo mehsoos kar raha tha ke wo is ladki se kuch keh
nahi paayega.

"Salar, andar chalo beta. Tum wahaan baith kar Amina se baat kar sakte ho." Saeeda
Amma ab us se mukhatib thi. Wo veranda ki taraf chal di aur Salar ne dekha ke
Amina sir jhuka kar uske peechay chal padi. Wo apni jagah khada raha, dekhte hue
unhein aage jaate. Saeeda Amma ne darwaza khola aur andar gayi.

Darwaze mein khadi Amina ne mor kar Salar ki taraf dekha. Usne jhat se apni nazar
jhuka li. Amina ne phir uski taraf dekha, shayad hairani se—kyu wo kamre mein nahi

417
aa raha? Baghair uski taraf dekhe, Salar aage badha, aur Amina ne rahat mehsoos ki
jaise hi wo andar gayi.

Saeeda Amma pehle se hi wahan baithi thi jab Salar andar aaya. Amina ne light jala
di. Dhoop se nikalte hue, Salar ko kamre mein thandak mehsoos hui.

"Baitho beta," Saeeda Amma ne ishara kiya. Salar ne ek kursi par jagah li aur doosri
taraf, Amina ek couch par baith gayi.

Salar intezar kar raha tha ke Saeeda Amma kuch dair mein chali jayegi. Furqan ne
usey saaf kaha tha ke Salar ko akela baat karni hai Amina se.

Lekin kuch dair baad, Salar ko samajh aaya ke unhein akele chorhne ki umeed rakhna
bekaar tha. Ya to unhein yeh yaad nahi tha ke unhein privacy chahiye thi ya unhein
laga ke sirf Furqan ko dur rehna tha, ya shayad wo abhi bhi Salar ko apni beti ke
saath akele nahi chor sakti thi. Salar ko aakhri imkaan se ittefaq tha. Jo kuch bhi usne
Amina ko kehna tha, wo uski maa ke mojoodgi mein nahi kaha ja sakta tha. Usne
kuch kehne ke liye apne zehan mein khojne ki koshish ki—akhir usey kuch kehna
tha! Magar uska zehan khali tha. Adhi andher aur thandi room mein, mukammal
khamoshi thi. Uske ungliyan aapas mein jal gayi, Salar ne zameen ko dekha.

Amina ne kamre mein ek aarishi light on kar di. Shayad yeh uchay chhat wala kamra,
jo furniture se bhara tha, kabhi baithak ka kamra tha. Ismein bohot se darwaze they,
jo sab band they, aur kamre ka eklauta window jo veranda ki taraf khulta tha, parde
se dhaka tha. Zameen par ek baarik naqsh wala maroon carpet tha aur wo fancy light
fixture kamre ko roshan nahi kar pa raha tha.

Salar ko kamra andhera mehsoos ho raha tha—ya shayad, yeh uske jazbaat they.
"Mujhe apne optician ke paas jana chahiye aaj. Meri dur ki nazar bhi kamzor hoti ja
rahi hai saath saath nazdeeki nazar ke," usne afsos se socha. Wo Amina ko theek se
nahi dekh pa raha tha jo centre table ke us paar baithi thi. Usne dobara apni nazar
carpet par jamaa di. Phir usne dekha Amina uth kar doosri light on kar rahi thi. White
tube light ke glare mein, kamra achanak roshan ho gaya. Usne socha, pehle kyu nahi
kiya, shayad wo bhi ghabrahi hui thi. Wo wapas aayi aur baith gayi, magar is dafa
uske samne nahi: is dafa usne ek kursi Saeeda Amma ke kareeb lee. Salar ne is dafa
usay dekhne ki koshish nahi ki—usne apni tawajjo carpet par markoza rakhi. Saeeda
Amma ka sabar akhri had tak pahunch gaya. Unhone gala saaf kiya taake Salar ki
tawajjo hasil kar sake.

418
"Beta, wo baat kehdo jo tumhe Amina se kehni thi," unhone bohot pyar se yaad
dilaya. "Tum itne dair se khamosh ho ke mujhe waqayi pareshani ho rahi hai."

Salar ne ek lambi, gehri saans li aur Amina aur phir Saeeda Amma ki taraf dekha.
"Kuch nahi—mujhe sirf usay dekhna tha."

Usne apni awaaz jitni ho sake itminan se rakhne ki koshish ki. Saeeda Amma ka
chehra khil utha.

"To bas yahi baat hai? Furqan ne to mujhe dara diya tha. Haan, bilkul, tum usay dekh
sakte ho—akhir wo tumhari biwi hai."

Wo khada ho gaya. "Kripya unhein kehiye ke apni cheezen band lein. Main bahar
intezar karunga," usne Saeeda Amma se kaha jab wo darwaze ki taraf badha. Amina
aur Saeeda Amma dono ne hairani se uski taraf dekha.

"Lekin beta, tum yahaan sirf usse baat karne aaye they, aur ab tum usay saath le jana
chahte ho…main usay proper rukhsti dena chahti thi…"

Salar ne narmi se unhein roka. "Isay rukhsti hi samajh lijiye…ke main usay ghar le
jaane aaya hoon."

Saeeda Amma ne usay ghoor kar dekha, aur phir kaha, "Theek hai. Agar yeh tumhara
tareeqa hai, to yahi sahi, lekin kam se kam iftar tak ruk jao. Yeh kuch ghanton ki baat
hai—tum dinner kar ke ja sakte ho."

"Nahi, shukriya. Furqan aur mujhe kuch kaam hai. Maine usay yahan aane ke liye ek
ghanta manga tha—main zyada dair nahi ruk sakta."

"Lekin Amma, mujhe apni cheezen band karne mein kaafi waqt lagega." Imama ne
pehli dafa guftagu mein hissa lete hue kaha. Wo ab bhi kursi par baithi thi. Baghair
Amina ki taraf dekhe, Salar ne Saeeda Amma se kaha,

"Kripya unhein kahen ke araam se packing karein—jitna waqt lage. Main intezar
karunga."

Wo kamre se nikal gaya.

-------------------------

419
Furqan ne hairani se Salar ki taraf dekha jab wo baithak mein dakhil hua. "Tum itni
jaldi wapas aa gaye? Mujhe laga zyada waqt lagega."

Jawab dene ke bajaye, Salar bas baith gaya. Furqan uske chehre ko ghur kar dekh
raha tha.

"Sab theek hai?"

"Haan."

"Amina se mile?"

"Haan."

"Phir?"

"Phir kya?"

"Chalain?"

"Nahi."

"Kyun?"

"Main Amina ko apne saath le ja raha hoon."

"Kya!" Furqan bohot hairan tha. "Lekin tum to sirf us se baat karne aaye the. Achanak
tumhara faisla kyun badal gaya?"

Salar ne usay ajeeb nazar se dekha. "Bas mujhe laga ke mujhe aisa karna chahiye."

Furqan ne pareshan nazar se uski taraf dekha.

------------------------------

420
Jab wo do ghante baad Salar ke flat par pohanche, to iftar mein zyada waqt nahi
bacha tha. Salar raste mein iftar ke liye kuch khane ki cheezen khareed laya tha.
Furqan unhein apne ghar le jana chahta tha taake wo sab saath mil kar roza kholen,
lekin Salar ne mana kar diya. Furqan ne apni biwi ko Salar ke ghar bulaya.

Uski biwi ne iftar ka table set kiya. Amina ne madad karne ki koshish ki lekin Furqan
aur uski biwi ne mana kar diya. Salar ne is mein dakhal nahi diya—wo balcony mein
chala gaya, haath mein cell phone liye hue. Lounge mein baithi Amina ne usay
window panes ke through dekha, wo idhar-udhar tehalte hue kisi se gehri baat cheet
kar raha tha.

Saeeda Amma ke ghar se apne flat tak ka safar, Salar ne Amina se ek martaba bhi
baat nahi ki. Dauran-e-safar, Furqan ne mukhtasir guftagu ki koshish ki. Wahi ab bhi
ho raha tha. Salar ne iftar table par bhi apni khamoshi nahi todi. Furqan aur uski biwi
ne Amina ko mukhtalif snacks serve kiye. Usne Salar ke thande rawaiye aur khamoshi
ko puri shiddat se mehsoos kiya.

-----------------------

Roza kholne ke baad, Salar maghrib ki namaz ke liye Furqan ke saath bahar aaya.
Namaz ke baad, Furqan ko hospital wapas jaana tha. Jab wo masjid se nikal kar car
park ki taraf chalne lage, Furqan ne kaha, "Tum bohot khamosh ho."

Salar ne uski taraf dekha, lekin kuch kahe baghair chalne laga.

"Kya tumhe kuch kehna nahi?" Furqan ne khamoshi todhne ki koshish ki. Salar ne
aasman ki taraf dekha. Suraj dhalne ke baad, dhund zameen ki taraf utar rahi thi.
Usne gehri saans li, phir Furqan ki taraf dekha.

"Nahi, mere paas kehne ke liye kuch nahi hai." Jab wo chal rahe they, Furqan ne usay
dheere se bolte suna, "Aaj mujhe kuch kehne ka mann nahi hai." Furqan ko us par
taras aaya. Usne humdardi se Salar ke kandhe par haath rakha.

421
"Main tumhare jazbaat samajh sakta hoon, lekin zindagi mein aisi cheezein hoti rehti
hain. Jo kuch tum Imama ke liye kar sakte they, tumne kiya. Tumne uska intezar kiya
jitna kar sakte they—aat ya nau saal mazak nahi hai. Agar yeh ladki tumhare naseeb
mein hai, to hum kuch nahi kar sakte."

Salar ne be-izhaar chehre se uski taraf dekha.

"Imama ka naseeb nahi tha ke wo is ghar mein aaye. Yeh Amina ka naseeb tha aur
wo aayi. Tumhari shadi ko sirf saat din hue hain aur aaj aathve din wo tumhare ghar
mein hai. Imama ke saath tumhari shadi ko nau saal ho gaye hain aur wo ab tak
yahaan nahi aa saki. Kya tum samajh nahi sakte ke Imama tumhari kismet nahi hai?"

Furqan ne usay samjhaane ki poori koshish ki.

"Hamarae bohot si khwahishein, bohot se armaan hote hain—Allah kuch ko poora

karta hai aur kuch ko nahi. Ho sakta hai ke Imama ka na milna tumhare liye behtari
ho. Shayad tum Amina ke liye muqarrar they. Ho sakta hai kuch saalon baad, tum
Allah ka shukar ada karte nahi thakte is cheez ke liye."

Wo ab parking lot mein pohanch chuke they. Furqan ki gaadi pehli row mein thi.

"Main aaj tak kisi ko nahi dekha jinki zindagi ki har khwahish poori hui ho—to phir
shikayat kyun karein? Koshish karo ke apni zindagi Amina ke saath achi banao."

Furqan ne gaadi ka darwaza khola, lekin ander baithne se pehle usne Salar ke
kandhe par haath rakha aur dono gaalon par pyar se chuma. "Yeh yaad rakhna:
tumne ek achi kaam kiya hai, aur tumhein zaroor iska ajar milega, agar is zindagi
mein nahi, to agle mein zaroor."

Wo ab bhi Salar ka chehra thaame hue tha. Salar ne halka sa sir jhukaaya aur thoda
sa muskuraya. Furqan ne rahat ki saans li—yeh pehli muskurahat thi jo usne aaj Salar
ke chehre par dekhi thi. Usne jawab mein muskuraya aur garmajoshi se uski peeth
thapthapayi. Phir usne ignition on kiya. Jaise hi wo gaadi chalane laga, usne Salar ko
car window par thap thap karte suna. Furqan ne window neeche ki.

"Tum keh rahe the ke tumne kabhi aise aadmi ko nahi dekha jinki khwahishein poori
hui ho," Salar ne sukoon se kaha jaise wo window ki taraf jhuka. Wo bohot pur-
sukoon aur mutmaeen lag raha tha.

422
"To mujhe dekho… kyunki main woh shakhs hoon jise ab tak jo kuch maanga, wo
mila."

Furqan ne socha ke uska zehan iske gham aur distress se mutasir ho gaya hai.

"Jise tum 'acha kaam' keh rahe ho, wo asal mein mera ajar hai. Yeh meri jaza hai, is
zindagi mein; mujhe agle jahan ka intezar nahi karna padega aur meri kismet wohi
hai jo nau saal pehle thi." Wo dheere dheere, gehri awaaz mein bol raha tha.

"Mujhe wohi aurat di gayi hai jiske liye maine dua ki thi—Imama Hashim ab mere
ghar mein hai. Khuda Hafiz."

Furqan ne khamoshi se uski peeth ko dekha jab wo door ja raha tha. Wo samajh
nahi paaya ke usne kya kaha. "Shayad, maine sahi nahi suna… ya shayad uska zehan
kharab ho gaya hai, ya shayad usne haalaat se samjhota kar liya hai…" Salar ab door
chala gaya tha.

-------------------------

END OF CHAPTER 8

------------------------

423
 CHAPTER 9

Lahore pohanchne ke baad, agla qadam madad talash karna tha - lekin kis se? Woh
na hostel wapas ja sakti thi aur na Javeria ya apni doosri doston se rabta kar sakti thi
kyunke uska khandan sab se pehle unhi par shak karta. Kuch dair mein uska khandan
Lahore pohanch kar talaash shuru kar deta. Shayad talaash abhi se hi shuru ho gayi
ho.

Kisi dost ke ghar jana apne liye khatra tha. Sirf ek raasta Sabiha ka bacha tha, lekin
usay yeh bhi nahi pata tha ke Sabiha Peshawar se wapas aayi thi ke nahi. Jaise hi
usay darr tha, khandan abhi bhi Peshawar mein tha.

“Woh kab wapas aayenge?” usne chowkidar se poocha jo darwaza kholne aaya tha
aur pehle ke dafa se usay pehchanta tha.

“Mujhe poora ilm nahi, lekin kuch dino mein wapas aayenge,” usne jawab diya.

“Kya aapke paas Peshawar ka phone number hai?” Kitna bhi koshish kar le, woh apni
mayoosi nahi chhupa saki.

Chowkidar ne jawab diya ke haan, uske paas phone number hai. Usay kuch rahat mili
aur woh domestic ke peechay ghar mein chali gayi. Woh drawing room mein intezar
karti rahi jab tak aadmi phone number lene gaya. Usne apne cell phone se dial kiya.
Ek gentleman ne phone uthaya aur uski query par bataya ke Sabiha kuch dair mein
wapas aayegi.

“Main Sabiha se baat nahi kar saki,” usne chowkidar se kaha. “Main yahan intezar
karungi jab tak us se baat nahi ho jati.”

Ek ghante baad woh Sabiha se milne mein kamyab ho gayi. Uski dost uska phone
sun kar hairan thi. Jitna mukhtasir ho sakta tha, Imama ne apni kahani suna di lekin
apni shaadi ki baat Salar se nahi batayi. Woh nahi jaanti thi ke Sabiha ka kya reaction
hoga.

“Tumhara behtareen raasta courts se rabta karna hai,” Sabiha ne Imama ko mashwara
diya sunne ke baad. “Qanoon tumhe kuch hifazat dega jab tumne apna mazhab
badla hai.”

“Main yeh nahi karna chahti.”

424
“Kyun?”

“Maine socha tha ke courts se rabta karun, Sabiha,” Imama ne jawab diya, “lekin yeh
ek raasta main nahi lena chahti. Tum mere walid aur unki izzat ko jaanti ho. Press ko
to maza aa jayega. Mera khandan bohot se pareshani ka samna karega; main nahi
chahti ke mere wajah se unko dushwari aur sharmindagi uthani pade. Aur tum jaanti
ho ke woh larkiyan jo mazhab badalne ke baad protection mangti hain, unhe Dar ul
Aman bhej diya jata hai—jese jail mein hone ka maza lein. Upar se, court ka case
saalon tak latka reh sakta hai. Khandan ek ke baad ek charge la sakta hai aur faisla
der tak latka sakta hai. Aur agar court tumhe tumhare beliefs ke mutabiq jeene de,
samaji dabao larkiyon ko wapas apne ghar le jata hai.

“Mujhe apni zindagi Dar ul Aman mein nahi guzarna aur na hi main chahungi ke
main toofan ka markaz banun. Maine apna ghar chupke se chhora aur main apni
zindagi isi khamoshi mein jeeni chahti hoon.”

“Main tumhari baat samajhti hoon, Imama,” Sabiha ne jawab diya, “lekin chahe tum
chahti ho ya nahi tumhe us toofan ka samna karna padega jo tumne uthaya hai.
Tumhara khandan tumhe dhoondhne ki poori koshish karega. Aur jab wo talash
karna shuru karenge to zyada der nahi lagegi jab tak woh mujhe aur mere khandan
ko dhoondh lein. Jabke main tumhari madad karne ko tayar hoon, aur mera khandan
bhi, lekin woh khule aam karna chahenge na ke chhupke. Mere walid bhi yahi
kahenge jo main keh rahi hoon: tumhe qanoon se madad leni chahiye. Mujhe poora
yaqeen hai ke courts tumhare haq mein faisla denge.

“Khair abhi ke liye, ghar mein raho; main Abu se baat karti hoon. Dekhti hoon agar
main unhe kal hi Lahore wapas aanay par mana sakti hoon. Ab mujhe chowkidar se
baat karne do.”

Imama ne phone chowkidar ko diya aur Sabiha se baat karne ke baad, usne phone
rakh diya aur kaha, "Sabiha Bibi ne kaha hai ke aapke liye unka kamra tayar karoon.
Aap yahan rahiye jab tak woh wapas nahi aate."

Imama Sabiha ke kamre mein chali gayi, lekin woh aram nahi kar saki. Sabiha se baat
karne ke baad woh aur zyada parishan ho gayi thi. Woh Sabiha ki fikron ko samajh
sakti thi; woh khud bhi nahi chahti thi ke Sabiha ke khandan ko koi pareshani ho
lekin woh qanoon se rabta nahi karna chahti thi. Usay is baat par koi shaq nahi tha
ke uska walid, Hashim Mubeen, agar jaan gaya ke Sabiha ke khandan ne uski madad

425
ki thi, toh woh unhe dushman samjhega aur waise hi sulook karega. Shayad isi wajah
se Sabiha ne itni zyada israr kiya tha ke woh qanoon se madad le.

Lekin Imama ke liye qanoon se rabta karna sabse mushkil raasta tha.

Itni bara umda shakhsiyat ki beti ka apna mazhab chhodna samajh ke liye aik
thappad jesa hota aur wo kaise react karte usay nahi pata tha; lekin yeh zarur tha ke
wo achi nahi hoti.

Jab woh in masail par soch rahi thi, usay Syeda Mariam Sibt-e-Ali ka khayal aya.
Mariam Sibt-e-Ali Sabiha ki dost aur class fellow thi aur Imama ne usay Sabiha ke
ghar mein kuch martaba mil chuki thi. Asal mein, woh pehli aur akhri shakhs thi jisne
Sabiha se Imama ke Islam qabool karne ke baare mein suna tha.

Mariam is khabar par hairan aur khush hui thi. Imama se garmjoshy se milti thi aur
hamesha kehti thi ke agar kabhi zarurat ho, to bina hichkichahat us se madad
maange. Har mulaqat par, Mariam apni madad ka aik dafa phir izhar karti thi.

Imama ko nahi pata tha ke Mariam kitni madad karegi, na hi usay pata tha ke kyun is
waqt uska khayal aya, lekin Mariam se rabta karna sahi lag raha tha. Usne apna
mobile utha kar call karne ki koshish ki lekin battery dead thi; usne mobile ko
recharge par lagaya aur lounge mein diary uthane gayi taake Mariam ka number
dekhe.

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne phone uthaya jab usne dial kiya. "Kya main Mariam se baat kar sakti
hoon? Main uski dost bol rahi hoon," usne kaha. Yeh pehli dafa tha jab usne Mariam
ko phone kiya tha. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne Imama se kaha ke hold karein jab tak woh apni
beti ko bulata. Kuch minute baad Mariam line par thi.

"Hello Mariam, yeh Imama hai."

"Imama…Imama Hashim?" Mariam ne hairani se kaha.

"Haan, Mariam, mujhe tumhari madad chahiye."

Imama ne apni puri kahani Mariam ko suna di jo complete khamoshi se sunti rahi.
Aakhir mein usne kaha, "Tum ab kahan ho?"

"Main Sabiha ke ghar hoon lekin yahan koi nahi hai. Sabiha aur uska khandan
Peshawar mein hain." Imama ne usay Sabiha se hui baat nahi batayi.

426
"Tum wahan hi raho. Main gari bhej rahi hoon tumhe lene ke liye. Tum apni sari
cheezain le kar yahan ajao. Tab tak, main apne walidain se baat karti hoon ke kya kia
ja sakta hai."

Imama ne receiver rakh diya. Usay yeh ehsaas nahi tha ke yeh kitni badi khushkismati
thi ke usne Mariam se baat karne ke liye Salar ka mobile phone istemal nahi kiya.
Agar woh aisa karti, toh Salar phone company ke zariye uska pata Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke
ghar tak laga sakta tha. Yeh bhi khushkismati thi ke usne Lahore pohanchne ke baad
ek dafa bhi mobile ka istemal nahi kiya.

Ek aur khushkismati yeh thi ke Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne apni office ki gari aur driver ko bheja
usay lene ke liye, warna naukron ne Mariam ki gari ko pehchan liya hota kyunke woh
aksar aati thi. Jabke na to office ki gari aur na hi driver Sabiha ke chowkidar ke jaane
pehchane thay, koi bhi uski harkat ko Sabiha ke ghar se trace nahi kar sakta tha.

----------------

Aadhi ghante baad, naukar aaya aur bataya ke ek gari aayi hai usay lene ke liye.
Imama ne apna bag uthaya aur nikalne lagi.

“Kya aap ja rahi hain?”

“Haan.”

“Lekin Sabiha Bibi ne kaha tha ke aap yahan rukengi.”

“Nahi, main ja rahi hoon. Agar Sabiha call karein to unhe bata dena ke main chali
gayi hoon.”

Woh gari mein baith gayi bina yeh bataye ke woh kahan ja rahi thi.

-----------------

Woh kabhi pehle Mariam ke ghar nahi gayi thi aur usay yeh pata nahi tha ke wahan
uska kaisa isteqbal hoga. Lekin usay yeh zarur pata tha ke usay bohot se sawaalon ka
samna karna padega aur gari mein Imama ne khud ko tayar kiya. Lekin aisa nahi hua.

427
“Hum nashta kar chuke hain; lekin tum zarur bhooki hogi,” Mariam ne kaha jab woh
driveway mein uska istaqbal karne aayi. Usne Imama ko andar le jaakar apne walidain
se milaya. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali aur unki biwi ne Imama ka garmjoshie se istaqbal kiya. Uske
chehre par dikhne wali udaasi aur pareshani dekh kar unhe afsos hua.

“Main nashta lagati hoon, Mariam. Tum Imama ko uske kamre mein le jao takay woh
fresh ho sake,” Mrs. Sibt-e-Ali ne apni beti se kaha.

Jab tak Imama ne kapde badle aur bahar aayi, nashta uske liye tayar tha. Imama ne
khamoshi se nashta kiya. Jab woh khatam kar chuki, Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne kaha, “Imama,
jao aur thoda aram karo. Main ab office ja raha hoon; jab wapas aaunga to tumhare
masle par baat karenge.” Woh kamre se nikal gaye aur apni beti ko kaha ke Imama
ko uske kamre mein le jaye.

Kamre mein, Mariam ne kaha, “Tum thak gayi ho Imama, koshish karo aur so jao.
Main tumhare liye ek sleeping pill le aati hoon takay tum aram se so sako. Agar
zarurat mehsoos ho to le lena.” Mariam kamre se chali gayi.

Woh kuch dair baad sleeping pill aur paani ka glass lekar wapas aayi. “Koshish karo
aur aram karo,” usne Imama ko tasalli di. “Sab theek ho jayega. Bas yeh samjho ke
tum apne hi ghar mein ho.” Usne parde kheench diye, light band kar di aur kamre se
nikal gayi.

Halanke subah ke nau baj rahe the, mausam dhundla tha aur light band aur parde
band hone ki wajah se kamra kaafi andhera ho gaya tha. Imama ne sleeping pill le li;
usay achi tarah pata tha ke bina is madad ke woh so nahi sakti thi. Woh itni zyada
pareshan thi ke aram nahi kar sakti thi.

Jaise hi woh bed par lete gayi, usne mehsoos kiya ke tablet ka asar hone laga hai aur
usay nind aane lagi. Kuch hi dair mein woh duniya se be-khabar so gayi.

--------------------

Jab uski aankh khuli to kamra puri tarah andheray mein tha. Woh bistar se utri aur
deewar aur light switch talash karne lagi. Usne light on ki; deewar par lagi ghari ne
dikhaya ke raat ke 11:30 baj rahe the. Usay samajh nahi aaya ke woh itni der tak soyi

428
rahi sleeping pill ke wajah se ya sirf pichle kuch dino ki sheer thakan ki wajah se. Jo
bhi wajah thi, lambi aram ke baad woh tazgi mehsoos kar rahi thi. Usay bohot bhook
bhi lag rahi thi. Yeh nahi pata tha ke ghar wale jag rahe hain ya soye hue hain, woh
darwaza dheere se khola aur bahar nikli.

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali lounge mein baithay kitaab parh rahe the. Unhone darwaza khulte suna
aur nazar uthai.

“Did you sleep well?” unhone muskurate hue poocha.

“Haan…” usne muskurane ki koshish ki.

“Ab yeh karo,” Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne mehfooz lehje mein kaha. “Woh darwaza dekho? Yeh
kitchen ko jata hai. Tumhara dinner fridge mein rakha hai. Usay nikaalo aur garam
kar lo. Jab tum dinner kar lo to do cup chai bana kar yahan le aao taake hum baat
kar sakein.”

Imama ne bina kuch kahe waise hi kiya jaise kaha gaya tha. Khana khane ke baad,
usne do cup chai banayi aur wapas lounge mein aayi. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne apni kitaab aik
taraf rakh di thi aur uska intezar kar rahe the. Usne ek cup unhe diya aur dusra cup
apne haath mein le kar samne wale sofa par baith gayi.

“Yeh bohot achi chai hai,” unhone ek sip le kar kaha.

Imama itni ghabraayi hui thi ke usne na to tareef par muskuraya na shukriya ada
kiya. Bas wahin baith kar unhe dekhne lagi.

“Imama, tumne jo faisla liya hai woh sahi hai. Is par do rai nahi hain. Aise faisle ke
liye bohot hosla chahiye hota hai lekin kabhi kabhi apne faisle par qaim rehne ke liye
aur bhi zyada hosla chahiye hota hai. Waqt ke saath tumhe is baat ka zyada ehsaas
hoga.” Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne soch-vichar se Imama ko dekha aur narmi se kaha.

“Mujhe yeh jaana hai,” unhone baat jari rakhi, “ke tumhara mazhab badalne ka faisla
sirf mazhabi buniyadon par hai ya koi aur wajah bhi hai.”

Imama ne jawab diye bina unhe dekha.

Jab Imama ne jawab nahi diya, Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne baat jari rakhi. “Shayad mujhe apni
baat wazeh karni chahiye. Mera sawal yeh hai ke kya tumhe kisi ladke se dilchaspi hai
aur kya usne tumhe kisi tarah se mazhab badalne aur ghar chhodne par majboor
kiya hai?”

429
Bina Imama ke jawab ka intezar kiye, Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne aage kaha, “Main yeh bhi
wazeh karna chahta hoon ke agar aisa hai bhi to main tumhare baare mein bura nahi
sochunga. Main yeh sirf is liye pooch raha hoon ke agar aisa hai, to mujhe us ladke
aur uske khandan se milna zaruri hoga.”

Pehli dafa, Imama ko ehsaas hua ke usne Salar se shaadi ka qadam uthane se pehle
Mariam aur uske khandan se rabta kyun nahi kiya. Agar Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne Jalal se baat
ki hoti…usne is khayal ko dimagh se nikal diya aur Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ko jawab mein sir
hila kar na mein jawab diya.

“Nahi, aisa kuch nahi hai,” usne jawab diya.

“Kya tum sure ho?” Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne apne pur sukoon lehje mein poocha.

“Maine kisi mard ki mohabbat mein Islam qabool nahi kiya,” Imama ne sachai se
jawab diya kyunki usne waqai Jalal Ansar ki mohabbat ke liye Islam qabool nahi kiya
tha.

“Kya tum puri tarah se waqif ho ke tumhe kis tarah ki mushkilat ka samna karna
padega?” Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne agla sawal kiya.

“Main hoon.”

“Main tumhare walid, Mr. Hashim Mubeen, se waqif hoon. Woh tumhare community
mein bohot ahmiyat rakhte hain. Tumhara mazhab badalna aur ghar se nikal jaana
unke liye bohot bara dhakka hoga aur woh tumhe dhoondhne aur wapas lane ke liye
har mumkin koshish karenge.”

“Main kisi bhi surat mein ghar wapas nahi jaungi. Main ne bohot ghor se socha hai
aur apna faisla kar liya hai,” Imama ne mazbooti se jawab diya.

“Tum ghar chhod chuki ho...lekin ab tumhara agla qadam kya hoga?”

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke law se protection lene ka mashwara dene se pehle, Imama ne unhe
rok diya. “Main courts nahi jaungi. Main nahi chahti ke mujhe public tamasha banaya
jaye. Mujhe yaqeen hai ke aap samajh sakte hain ke agar main apna case court le
gayi to mujhe kaise masail ka samna karna padega,” usne kaha.

“Is surat mein, tum kya karna chahti ho?” Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne ghoor kar dekha. “Tumhe
pata hai ke tum agar chhupi raho gi to apni medical degree mukammal nahi kar pao
gi?”

430
“Haan, mujhe pata hai,” usne udaasi se jawab diya aur apna cup neeche rakh diya.
“Waise bhi, main apni khud ki tuition fee nahi bhar sakti.”

“Agar tumhe mulk ke kisi aur hisson mein kisi aur medical college mein transfer kar
diya jaye to?”

“Nahi, yeh mumkin nahi hoga. Mera khandan yeh pehla qadam samjhega aur woh
mulk ke sab medical colleges se rabta karega. Waise bhi, aise colleges kam hain aur
unhe mujhe dhoondhna mushkil nahi hoga.”
"Phir...?" "Main B.Sc. mein kisi college mein dakhla lena chahti hoon...lekin Lahore
mein nahi; aur main apna naam badalna chahti hoon." Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne foran jawab
nahi diya. Woh kuch der soch mein gum rahe; phir ek gehri saans le kar bole.
"Imama, filhal tumhein yahan rehna hoga. Dekhte hain tumhare ghar wale kya karte
hain. Kuch hafton mein humein pata chal jayega. Tab tak main suggest karta hoon ke
hum intezar karein. Tum yahan puri tarah mehfooz ho. Tum adalat ka rukh nahi
karna chahti ho aur main tumhare faislay ka ehtiram karta hoon. Yahan raho, jab tak
hum agla qadam soch na lein. Tumhare ghar wale tumhein yahan dhoond nahi sakte
aur agar woh yahan tak bhi pohanch jaate hain, toh woh tumhein tumhari marzi ke
baghair nahi le ja sakte. Koi tumhein tumhari marzi ke khilaf kuch nahi karne par
majboor karega; is baat ka yaqeen rakho." Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne Imama ko tasalli dene ki
koshish ki ke woh yahan mehfooz aur panah mein hai. Imama ne unhein dekha aur
usay apne walid Hashim Mubeen yaad aaye aur woh udaas dil ke saath apne kamray
mein wapas chali gayi.

Kareeban paanch mahine pehle Umera Ahmed Official

Agle din shaam ko paanch baje Dr. Sibt-e-Ali daftar se wapas aaye aur Imama ko
apne study mein bulaya. Naukar ne kitchen mein aakar kaha, jahan woh aur Mariam
thi, ke Dr. Sahib unhein bula rahe hain.

Usne darwaza khatkhataya aur andar gayi. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali kisi drawer mein kuch papers
dekh rahe the. "Aao Imama, baitho," unho ne kaha. Woh unke saamne wali kursi par
baith gayi.

"Aaj maine tumhare ghar walon aur unki talash ke bare mein kuch maloomat hasil ki
hain," unho ne kaha. Drawer band karte huye, achanak unho ne poocha, "Salar
Sikandar kaun hai?" Woh usay ghoor se dekh rahe the.

431
Imama hairaan reh gayi. Uska dil zor zor se dhadakne laga. Uske chehre ka rang udd
gaya—aik baat jo Dr. Sibt-e-Ali se chupi nahi rahi.

"Salar...woh hamara padosi hai...usne meri madad ki thi...ghar se bhaagne

mein...usne...usne mujhe Islamabad se Lahore aane mein madad ki..." usne haklati
huwi kaha.

"Kya main unhein apni Salar ke saath shaadi ke aqdamat ke bare mein bataun?" usne
socha.

"Tumhare walid ne uske khilaf ek FIR darj karwai hai, tumhein agwa karne ka ilzaam
lagaya hai," Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne usay bataya.

Imama aur bhi zyada peeli par gayi. "Kya usay pakar liya gaya hai?" usne cheekh kar
poocha. Usne nahi socha tha ke uske ghar wale Salar ko itni jaldi trace kar lenge,
lekin agar unhone aisa kar liya toh iska matlab tha ke woh Jalal Ansar ka bhi pata
laga lenge aur phir usay bhi yeh ghar dhoondh lenge.

"Nahi. Lekin unhein pata chal gaya ke usne us raat Lahore mein ek larki ke saath
aane ka iqraar kiya hai. Usne yeh tasleem kiya ke woh apni girlfriend ke saath aaya
tha aur saboot bhi de diye hain." Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne jaan bojh kar yeh nahi bataya ke
Salar ne ye kaha ke woh ek prostitute ke saath aaya tha.

"Nahi. Uska gharana bhi resources se bhara hai aur police usay nahi utha saki; lekin
tumhare ghar wale yaqeenan hai ke usne tumhari madad ki hai bhaagne mein."
Achanak topic badalte hue unho ne poocha, "Salar kaisa shaks hai?"

"Woh bura hai..." Imama ne jhat se bola. "Woh bahut bura hai."

"Magar tumne kaha ke usne tumhari madad ki thi..."

"Ji, lekin woh achha insaan nahi hai. Shayad usne meri madad isliye ki ke ek dafa jab
usne khudkushi ki koshish ki thi toh maine uski jaan bachai thi; ya shayad isliye ke
woh mere bhai ka dost hai. Lekin woh acha insaan nahi hai...uske zehen mein koi
masla hai...woh ajeeb baatein karta hai...ajeeb harkatein karta hai." Imama Lahore se
Islamabad ke safar ko yaad kar rahi thi aur kis tarah Salar ne raaste bhar usay
pareshan kiya tha.

"Police ne tumhare sab doston se rabta kiya hai, jismein Sabiha bhi shamil hai," Dr.
Sibt-e-Ali ne kaha. "Sabiha Peshawar se wapas aa gayi hai lekin Mariam ne usay

432
tumhare yahan hone ke bare mein kuch nahi bataya. Tumhein kisi bhi tarah se usay
contact nahi karna hai, na hi telephone par. Uska ghar nigrani mein hai aur phone
tapped hoga. Filhal, tumhara behtareen tareeqa yeh hai ke chupi raho aur kisi se
rabta na karo.

"Kya main unhein apne mobile phone se contact kar sakti hoon?" Imama ne poocha.

"Tumhare paas mobile phone hai?" Dr. Sibt-e-Ali hairan hue.

"Yeh Salar ka hai."

"Unhone Salar ko trace kar liya hai; zyada dair nahi lagegi mobile phone ko trace
karne mein. Jab tumne Sabiha ke ghar se Mariam ko call kiya tha kya us mobile se
kiya tha?" Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ab pareshan lag rahe the.

"Nahi, maine Sabiha ke ghar ke phone se call ki thi."

"Tumhein woh mobile bilkul bhi use nahi karna—na call karne ke liye aur na call
receive karne ke liye." Unho ne kuch rahat se kaha.

-------------------------------

Agle kuch din Dr. Sibt-e-Ali shaam ko ghar aate aur Imama ko uske ghar walon ke
talashi ke bare mein maloomat dete. Police un sab logon se poochh-gachh kar rahi
thi jinse Imama rabta kar sakti thi aur un sab jagahoon par ja rahi thi jahan usne
pana le sakti thi. Medical colleges, hospitals, hostels, doston, colleagues... Hashim
Mubeen ne koi kasar nahi chhodi. Sirf ek cheez jo usne nahi ki woh media se rabta
karna tha. Usne jaana tha ke yeh raasta ruswai aur nafrat ki taraf le jayega. Jitna ho
sakta tha, usne apni beti ke ghayab hone ko raaz mein rakha. Usne police se rabta
kiya; uske apne community ko bhi uske mushkilat ka pata tha aur woh apni poori
koshish kar rahi thi ke Imama ko dhoondh sake.

Police ne Sabiha ke ghar walon se rabta kiya lekin unhein yeh maloom nahi tha ke
woh Lahore se aane ke baad uske ghar mein pana le chuki thi. Yeh baat ke Sabiha
aur uske ghar wale us waqt Peshawar mein thay, unhein raaste se hata diya. Mariam
ne bhi Sabiha ko kuch nahi bataya aur yeh dikhawa karti rahi ke woh bhi Imama ke
ghayab hone se hairan hai.

433
----------------------------

Kuch hafton tak Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke ghar ke tahaffuz mein rehte hue, Imama ko yakeen
ho gaya tha ke woh mehfooz hai aur koi uska peecha karte hue yahan nahi aa sakta.
Usne faisla kiya ke woh Salar ko call karke nikah nama maangay gi. Jab usne Salar ko
call kiya toh usay yeh jaan kar khauf hua ke na to Salar ne usay talaq maangne ka
haq diya hai aur na hi woh usay talaq dene ko tayyar hai. Usay aisa laga jaise
zameen uske paon ke neeche se khisak gayi ho.

Yeh pehli martaba tha jab usne Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke ghar aane ke baad mobile phone
use kiya; woh bhi Salar ko call karne ke liye bina kisi ko bataye. Usay apni ghalti ka
ehsaas hone laga. Usay kabhi bhi Salar jaise aadmi par bharosa nahi karna chahiye
tha. Kam az kam usay nikah nama parhna chahiye tha ya apne paas uski copy rakhni
chahiye thi.

Jaise jaise yeh ehsaas badhne laga ke Salar uski zindagi mein ek bara masla ban
sakta hai, usay apne peechle faislon par pachtawa hone laga. Agar usay pata hota ke
woh Dr. Sibt-e-Ali jaise shaks se mile gi, toh kabhi yeh ghalti nahi karti ke shaadi
karna—and woh bhi Salar jaise shaks se. Agar usay pata hota ke Dr. Sibt-e-Ali har
surat mein uski madad karenge, toh woh unhein Salar ke bare mein sach bata deti.
Yaqeenan, woh uske liye koi raasta nikal lete. Lekin ab jab usne itni shiddat se jhoot
bola ke is muqadme mein koi mard shamil nahi hai, toh ab kaise peechay hatt sakti
thi? Aur phir, woh shaks jis ke khilaf uske ghar walon ne FIR darj karwai thi, woh uska
shohar tha. Ab kya woh Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke samne sab kuch sach bol deti? Usay dar tha
ke agar aisa kiya toh apni wahi ek panah bhi kho degi; aur is waqt woh yeh nahi
chahti thi.

Apni fikr aur pareshani mein, Imama ka dil khana pine se ud gaya; na woh kuch khati
thi aur na peeti thi. Usay apna mustaqbil andheron bhara lagne laga. Salar Sikandar
se itni nafrat badh gayi thi ke agar woh uske samne hota toh usay goli maar deti.
Be-shumar khauf aur pareshani uske zehan par chha gayi. Pehle, woh apne ghar
walon se dar rahi thi; ab uska khauf Salar se bhi tha. Usay samajh nahi aa rahi thi ke
kya kare. Hamesha se khamosh mizaj rahi Imama ab mukammal khamoshi mein chali
gayi. Uska wazan girne laga aur woh sust aur kaahil ho gayi. Yeh tabdeeli Dr. Sibt-e-

434
Ali aur unki family se chupi nahi rahi. Ek ek karke, unho ne usse baat ki ke maloomat
lein ke usay kya pareshaan kar raha hai lekin woh unhein bhi talti rahi.

"Kya baat hai Imama? Tum hamesha se khamosh rahi ho, lekin ab lagta hai ke koi
bari fikr tum par chha gayi hai." Mariam sabse pehle uske paas aayi.

"Kuch nahi Mariam. Bas ghar ko miss kar rahi hoon," Imama ne halke se kaha aur
baat taal di.

Mariam itni asani se dhoka khane wali nahi thi. "Ab kyun? Tum yahan kaafi arse se
ho lekin kuch dinon se tumne khana peena chhod diya hai. Tum peeli par rahi ho,
tumhari aankhon ke neeche dark circles hain jaise tumne theek se nahi soya aur
tumhara wazan gir gaya hai. Agar yeh chalta raha toh tum bimaar par jaogi."

Imama Mariam ki baatein jhutla nahi sakti thi. Usay maloom tha ke koi bhi usay dekh
kar andaza laga sakta tha ke woh kitni pareshan hai aur shayad yeh bhi ke yeh sab
kuch nai developments ki wajah se hai. Lekin woh majboor thi—woh Mariam ko Salar
ke bare mein nahi bata sakti thi, na hi uski shadi ka iqraar kar sakti thi.

Ek martaba phir usne Mariam ko taalne ki koshish ki. "Main aaj kal apne ghar walon
ke bare mein zyada soch rahi hoon. Jitna waqt guzarta ja raha hai, utna hi unhein
miss kar rahi hoon," usne dheemi awaz mein kaha; aur yeh mukammal jhoot bhi nahi
tha kyunke woh unhein sach mein miss kar rahi thi.

Woh kabhi apne ghar walon se itni dair alag nahi rahi thi. Theek hai, woh Lahore
mein hostel mein rehti thi lekin har mahine kam az kam ek dafa ghar zaroor jaati thi.
Uska walid ya bhai bhi aksar usay milne aate thay; aur phir telephone tha; woh apne
ghar walon se kareeban roz baat karti thi. Lekin ab usay aisa lagta tha ke woh
behtareen samundar mein ek akeli kashti mein safar kar rahi ho aur aas paas koi na
ho. Woh pyaare chehre ab sirf uske zehan aur tasavvur mein hi thay.

Mariam ne dekha ke Imama apni fikr uske saath share karne ko tayyar nahi hai, isliye
usne mazaar badal diya aur doosri batein karne lagi, taake Imama ka dhyan us cheez
se hat jaye jo usay pareshan kar rahi thi.

-------------------------

435
Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ko Allah ne teen betiyon se nawaza tha. Mariam, jo sabse choti thi, apni
medical studies mukammal kar rahi thi. Do bari behnein shaadi shuda theen aur
Lahore ke ilawa dusre shehron mein rehti theen.

Mariam ke Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke ghar aane ke kuch hi arse baad, uski dono behnein apne
walidain se milne aayi. Imama ko dono behnon mein wohi pyar aur shafqat mili jo
usne Dr. Sibt-e-Ali aur unki family se bhi mehsoos ki thi. Magar har baar usay apni
behnein aur unka pyar yaad aata. Usay apne ghar, walid, bara bhai Waseem, aur
Saad ka khayal aaya… Saad jo ke khoon ka rishta nahi rakhta tha. Saad ko unke
community ke rivaaj ke mutabiq godh liya gaya tha, jo laawarees larkon ko godh le
kar unhein mahfuz aur pyar bhara mahaul dete hain, aur community ka naya fard
banate hain. Hashim Mubeen ne bhi Saad ko tab godh liya jab woh bohot chhota
tha aur Imama school ke aakhri saal mein thi. Ek ajnabi ke ghar aane ka tajurba
Imama ke liye naya tha.

“Humne Saad ko Allah ka shukar ada karne ke liye godh liya hai, jisne humein itni
naimatain di hain; aise karne se hum ummid karte hain ke ek chain of kindness
qayam hogi,” uski walida ne Imama ko us din bataya jab Saad ko ghar laye.
“Tumhein usay apna chota bhai samajhna chahiye.” Imama apne walidain par us din
fakhar mehsoos kar rahi thi; ke woh apni di gayi naimaton ko kam na naseeb logon
ke saath baant rahe hain. Usne yeh nahi socha ke uske chacha bhi aisa kar chuke
hain aur kuch aur mashhoor khandan bhi. Yeh baat bohot baad mein samajh aayi ke
yeh godh lene ka asal maqsad kya tha.

Saad aur Imama ne ek hi bedroom share kiya aur shuru se hi Saad usse lagav
mehsoos karne laga. Jab Imama ne medical college join kiya aur Islam qabool kiya,
toh usne Saad ko weekend par ghar aane par Nabi Kareem (PBUH) ke bare mein
kahaniyan sunani shuru ki. Saad chhota tha aur usne ration ki baatein samajh nahi
aati thi, toh Imama asaan zubaan mein samjhati thi ke “Jaisa Allah ek hai, hamare
Nabi (PBUH) bhi waheed hain. Unke jaisa koi nahi hai aur na koi ho sakta hai.”

Jab woh Saad se baat karti thi, usay kehti thi ke in baaton ko ghar walon se na kahe,
lekin usay pata tha ke yeh nahi hoga. Usay maloom tha ke Saad par family aur
community ka asar bohot gehra hai, aur woh jo baqaida dini ijtemaat mein shamil
hota tha, uska bhi asar hai. Usne socha tha ke jab uski taleem mukammal ho jayegi

436
aur woh apni zindagi basayegi, toh Saad ko apne saath le jayegi; lekin yeh kaam
asaan nahi hoga, yeh usay maloom tha.

Ghar chhodte waqt usne socha tha ke Saad ko apne saath le aaye, lekin usay
maloom tha ke aisa karne se pakde jaane ka khatra barh jata.

Bohot martaba, jab se usne Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke ghar pana li thi, usne socha ke kya Saad
ko bhi la sakti thi. Halanki usne apne ghar walon se rishte tod diye the aur apne liye
chuni hui raah par chalne ka azm rakha, lekin isse uska pyar kam nahi hua unke liye
ya Jalal Ansar ke liye.

Raat ko apne kamray ki tanhai mein woh unke liye roti. Pehle pehle kisi ko uski
narazgi ka pata nahi chala. Jab woh nashta ke waqt soji hui aankhon ke saath aati,
toh hosts ki fikr ko taalne ke liye kehti ke usne raat ko theek se nahi soya. Lekin ek
raat Mariam achanak uske kamray mein aayi. Kyunki raat ke bohot dair ho gayi thi,
Mariam ne samjha ke Imama soyi hui hogi, is liye usne darwaza knock nahi kiya.
Imama bistar par thi lekin soyi nahi thi; kambal mein lipti hui woh ro rahi thi,
naumedi ke gehre dukh ke saath. Jaise hi Mariam ne darwaza khola, Imama ne apne
chehre ko kambal se chhupa liya. Mariam ko andaza ho gaya ke Imama soyi nahi hai.

“Imama?”

Koi jawab nahi.

“Imama, kya tum jaag rahi ho?” Mariam bistar ke paas aayi aur Imama ke chehre se
kambal hata diya. Usne Imama ka aansuon se bhara chehra dekha toh woh dar gayi.
“Imama! Tumhare thakan ka raaz yeh hai.” Apna faisla karte hue, usne Imama ko
bistar se uthaya. “Ab se tum akeli nahi sou gi aur fikar nahi karogi! Tum mere kamray
mein soogi,” usne pukhta iraday se kaha.

Chup chaap Imama Mariam ke kamray mein chal padi; woh sharmindagi se kuch keh
nahi sakti thi. Us din ke baad Imama Mariam ke kamray mein soti thi. Iske nateejay
mein, raat ko rona band ho gaya lekin uska neend par koi qaboo nahi tha; aur aise
raat bhi hoti thi jab woh subah tak jaagti rehti thi.

Jab woh Mariam ke kamray mein medical ki kitaabein dekhti, toh usay gehra gham
mehsoos hota. Usay pata tha ke woh zindagi ab bohot peeche chhod di hai aur
usmein wapas nahi aa sakti.

437
Subah, jab Dr. Sibt-e-Ali kaam par chale jaate aur Mariam college ke liye, toh Imama
Mrs. Sibt-e-Ali ke saath waqt guzarti, jinhein woh Aunty bulati thi. Ya shayad yeh
Aunty thi jo Imama ko akela nahi chhodti thi; woh usay sara din masroof rakhti thi
taake woh kisi khayal mein na doob jaye. Aunty ki koshishon ke bawajood, aise
lamhe aate jab Imama khayalon mein kho jati aur duniya se be-khabar ho jati. Usne
phir kabhi Salar se rabta karne ki koshish nahi ki. Usay pata tha ke isse sirf uski
pareshaniyon mein izafa hoga.

--------------------

Three months guzar gaye thay jab se wo Dr. Sibt-e-Ali aur unki family ke sath reh
rahi thi. Ek din Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne usey apne study room mein bulaya.

"Imama, ab kafi waqt ho gaya hai jab se tum ne apna ghar choda hai. Tumhare ghar
walon ne tumhari talash chorhi nahi hai, lekin unki koshish kam ho gayi hai. Kya
tumne socha hai ke tum aage kya karna chahti ho?" Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne poocha.

"Main apni taleem jari rakhna chahti hoon," Imama ne ahista se jawab diya.

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne uska jawab suna, lekin uski baat ko nazarandaz karte hue kaha, "Kya
tumne shadi ke bare mein socha hai?"

"Shadi...? Mujhe samajh nahi aayi..." Imama ne hakla kar jawab diya, bilkul hairan ho
kar.

"Tumhare halat ko dekhte hue, is surat-e-haal se nikalne ka sabse behtar tareeqa

shadi hai. Agar tum kisi achi family mein shadi kar lo, to tumhe wo hifazat milegi jo
tumhe ab nahi mil rahi," Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne apni baat kahi. "Mujhe kuch ache gharon
ke larke maloom hain; main chahta hoon ke tum unme se kisi se shadi kar lo."

Imama ka rang urh gaya, usne Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ko dekha. Ye wohi nateeja tha jiska usne
kitne mahine pehle anuman lagaya tha, wahi khayal jo usse Salar Sikandar ke paas le
gaya aur ghalti ka sabab bana. Agar usne Salar se shadi nahi ki hoti, to wo Dr. Sibt-
e-Ali ke tajwez ko khushi se maan leti. Usse samajh aata tha ke ek acha gharana uske
bohot se masail ka hal de sakta tha jo wo ab samna kar rahi thi. Usne hamesha ek

438
mehez safeedi ke zindagi guzari thi, apni har zaroorat ke liye apne ghar walon par
inhsaar karti thi. Ye soch ke usey khauf ata tha ke ab uske paas koi nahi tha. Wo
kitne arsey tak aise chal sakti thi? Lekin uski jaldbazi mein Salar se shadi uske liye ek
haddi ban gayi thi jo na wo nigal sakti thi aur na ugal sakti thi.

"Nahi, main shadi nahi karoongi."

"Kyoun nahi?"

Imama ke paas Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke sawal ka jawab tha lekin use kehne ki himmat nahi
thi. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali uske bare mein kya sochenge agar usne sachai batayi? Ke wo jhooti
thi aur itna arsa unke ghar mein jhooti buniyad par reh rahi thi. Ya shayad wo
samjhenge ke usne apne ghar se is liye bhag kar shadi ki thi aur baaqi sab jhoot tha.
Aur agar unhe sachai ka pata chal gaya to wo uski madad se inkar kar dein… ya use
ghar se nikalne ko kahen… to phir kya? Ya agar wo uske parents ko contact karne ka
faisla karen? Wo teen mahine Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke ghar mein reh chuki thi aur usne
mehsoos kiya tha ke wo ek ache aur meherban insan hain, lekin wo khud apne halat
se itni dar chuki thi ke kisi par itna aitbar nahi kar sakti thi; wo kisi par bhi poora
bharosa karne ka risk nahi le sakti thi.

Usne faisla kar liya; wo apna raaz kisi ko nahi batayegi.

"Main pehle apni taleem mukammal karna chahti hoon. Main kisi par bojh nahi
banna chahti; main apne pairo par khadi hona chahti hoon. Shadi ke baad agar koi
masail huye, to main apna khud ka sahara banna chahti hoon. Shadi ke baad
cheezen kaise hongi ye nahi pata; mujhe taleem ka mauqa milay ya nahi," Imama ne
lambi khamoshi ke baad apni baat mukammal ki.

"Imama, hum hamesha tumhari madad karte rahenge. Agar tum shadi bhi kar lo to
hum tumhare saath taluq khatam nahi karenge. Hum tumhe khatam karne ki koshish
nahi kar rahe. Tum mere liye meri apni beti jaisi ho, meri chothi beti," Dr. Sibt-e-Ali
ne kaha.

Imama ki ankhon mein aansu aa gaye.

"Main tum par koi dabao nahi daal raha Imama. Ye sirf ek tajwez thi."

"Kuch saal guzar jane dein aur phir main jis se aap kahenge usse shadi kar loongi.
Lekin abhi nahi, foran nahi," Imama ne zor de kar kaha, lekin apne zehan mein soch

439
rahi thi, "Abhi ke liye, mujhe Salar se nijat pana hai. Mujhe talaq ka rasta dhoondhna
hoga."

"Kaun se sheher mein tum padhna chahti ho?" Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne shadi ka khayal
chhor diya.

"Kahin bhi—mujhe koi farq nahi parta," Imama ne jawab diya.

Jab Imama ne apna ghar choda tha, to usne apne tamam documents aur jitna zewar
wo le ja sakti thi le liya tha. Jab Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne use kuch din baad bulaya aur bataya
ke unhone faisla kiya hai ke usse Multan ke ek college mein dakhil karwaenge, to wo
apne kamre mein gayi aur apne suitcase se ek choti si bag nikali.

Wo Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke study room mein wapas aayi aur bag khol kar ek lifafa nikaal kar
Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ko diya. Phir usne bag se ek aur choti si dabbi nikali aur table par rakh
di.

"Ye kuch zewar hai jo mere paas hai; ye zyada nahi hai, lekin agar isse bech dun, to
ye kuch arsey tak meri taleem ka kharcha utha sakta hai," usne kaha.

"Nahi. Zewar mat becho; tumhe shadi ke waqt iski zarurat padegi. Tumhari taleem ka
kharcha uthana meri zimmedari hai aur main tumhari har zarurat ka khayal rakhne ka
zimmedar hoon…" Kuch aur kehne ko tayar Dr. Sibt-e-Ali achanak chup ho gaye jab
unhone bag mein kuch chamakta dekha.

Thodi sharmindagi mehsoos karte hue Imama ne bag se choti si pistol nikali aur
table par rakh di. "Ye meri hai. Main ise ghar se laye thi. Jaise ke maine pehle kaha
tha, mujhe Salar ki madad chahiye thi aur wo acha aadmi nahi hai…"

"Uska istamal karna aata hai?" Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne poocha.

Imama ne udasi bhari muskurahat di. "Haan, maine college mein NCC ke sath
training ki thi. Aur mera bhai Waseem Rifle Shooting Club jaya karta tha aur mai
aksar uske sath jaya karti thi. Maine apne walid se darkhwast ki thi ke wo mujhe ye
pistol khareed kar dein. Ye gold plated hai."

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne pistol uthayi. "Iska license hai tumhare paas?" unhone poocha.

"Haan, lekin main ise apne sath nahi layi."

"Is surat mein, ise mere paas chhor do. Multan le kar mat jao. Zewar ka locker banwa
dete hain," Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne kaha.

440
Imama ne haa karte hue apna seer hilaya.

-----------------

Kuch mahine baad, Imama ne apne aap ko Multan mein paya. Ek sheher jiske bare
mein usne kabhi dusri baar socha bhi nahi tha. Lekin phir itna kuch ho chuka tha jo
usne kabhi socha bhi nahi tha. Kya usne kabhi tasavvur bhi kiya tha ke bees saal ki
umar mein wo apni taleem dobara shuru karegi; is dafa B.Sc. degree hasil karne ke
irade se… uss umar mein jab aksar larkiyan apna B.Sc. mukammal kar chuki hoti
hain…?

Kya usne kabhi tasavvur kiya tha ke wo jaan bujh kar doctor banne ki khwahish
chhod degi…?

Kya usne kabhi tasavvur kiya tha ke wo apne walidain ke liye itni takleef aur
sharmindagi ka sabab banegi…?

Kya usne kabhi tasavvur kiya tha ke Jalal ke ilawa wo apni zindagi mein kisi aur mard
ko dekhegi…? Aur ke wo itni bechain hogi us mard se shadi karne ke liye…?

Kya usne kabhi tasavvur kiya tha, apni pasand ke mard se shadi karne mein nakami
ke baad, wo Salar Sikandar jaise mard se shadi karegi…? Aur wo bhi apni marzi se…?

Kya usne kabhi tasavvur kiya tha ke apne ghar ki amanat aur aram ko chhod kar, wo
Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ki meherban aur dekhbhal karne wali family ke sath rehne lagegi?

Usse bahar ki duniya ka koi tajurba nahi tha, aur usse zarurat bhi nahi thi. Jab usne
ghar chhoda tha, usne dil se apni hifazat ki dua ki thi—ke usse zindagi ki mushkilat
ka samna na karna pade. Wo itni himmat wali nahi thi ke apne liye khud khara ho
sake aur mushkilat ka samna kar sake.

Usse sach mein nahi pata tha ke ab usse sab kuch apne aap manage karna padega
aur ke wo ajeeb logon aur har qisam ke mardon ka samna karegi—aur wo bhi jab
uske paas koi ghar walay nahi the jinpar wo inhasar kar sake.

Lahore ke medical college mein parhna aur apne ghar walon ke saya mein rehkar
higher studies ke liye bahar jane ka khwab dekhna alag baat thi. Wahan koi financial

441
issues nahi the, aur Hashim Mubeen ka naam aur shohrat kaafi thi ke log uske sath
izzat se pesh atein.

Uski kismat achi thi ke ghar chhodne ke baad usse waisa samna nahi karna pada
jaisa usne dara tha. Salar Sikandar ne use Lahore chhod diya tha aur Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ki
family ne use pana di thi. Jab se wo Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke sath thi, wo khush naseeb thi ke
har choti badi chinta ka khayal rakha gaya tha. Uska naam badalna, Multan ke
college mein admission, hostel mein rehne ki jagah, taleem ke kharche—sab kuch Dr.
Sibt-e-Ali ne sambhal liya tha—aur wo is par khuda ka shukar ada karti thi. Kam az
kam use har roz mukhalif duniya mein zindagi ki jang ka samna nahi karna pad raha
tha.

--------------------------

Wo Multan ke liye rawana ho gayi. Ye uski ek nai zindagi ka aghaz tha. Ek mushkil
zindagi. Hostel mein wo khud ko bilkul tanha mehsoos karti thi. Kabhi kabhi wo apne
ghar walon aur Islamabad ke ghar ko itna miss karti ke usay wahan rehne aur unke
paas wapas na bhagnay mein apni puri himmat lagani parti thi. Aksar wo bina kisi
wajah ke roti rehti. Kabhi kabhi uska dil Jalal Ansar se raabta karne ko chahta. Wo ab
bhi uski khwahish karti thi.

Bohat si larkiyan jo uske sath parh rahi thi, wo wohi thi jo Medical colleges mein
admission lena chahti thi lekin F.Sc. exams mein required grades hasil nahi kar saki
thi. Ab wo B.Sc. kar rahi thi is umeed mein ke behtar grades hasil karke apne pasand
ke field mein ja sakein.

"Medical college… doctor…" Kaafi arse tak ye alfaaz uske dil mein chhuri ki tarah
ghoomte rehte. Wo apne haathon ki lakeeron ko hairani se dekhti. Kya tha uski
taqdeer mein jo uske har khwab ko mitti mein milata ja raha tha? Aksar wo Javeria
ke sath apni guftagu ko yaad karti.

"Agar main doctor nahi ban sakti, to mujhe jeena ka koi shauq nahi… main mar
jaungi," usne kaha tha.

Lekin wo mari nahi thi. Wo zinda thi.

442
"Main mulk ki mashhoor eye specialist banungi," usne daawa kiya tha.

Sab kuch sirf ek khwab ban kar reh gaya. Jis cheez ko hasil karne ke itne qareeb thi,
wo itni door lagne lagi thi.

Uska koi ghar nahi tha.

Uski koi family nahi thi.
Asjad uska nahi tha.
Wo doctor nahi banne ja rahi thi.
Jalal uska nahi tha.

Ek jhatke mein, usne apni zindagi ki sari asaniyan kho di thi jin ka wo adat thi, phir
bhi wo zinda thi. Imama ne kabhi socha bhi nahi tha ke uske paas itni himmat hai ke
apni marzi se aise jee sake, lekin har pal usne apne aap ko sabit kiya.

Waqt guzarta gaya aur uske nuksan ka ehsaas kam hota gaya. Wo apne aap mein wo
taqat pa rahi thi jo uski zindagi ki mushkilat bardasht karne mein madadgar thi. Allah
ke baad, Dr. Sibt-e-Ali aur unki family ne uski madad ke liye jo kuch bhi kar sakte the
wo sab kiya. Har mahine ek weekend wo unhe milne jati thi. Wo usay apne ghar
walon ki tarah samajhte the. "Mera kya hota agar mujhe wo sab nahi milte?" Imama
aksar sochti thi.

---------------------

Multan mein apne lambi arsey ke doran, Imama Salar ko apne zehan se nikal nahi
saki. Wo usse call karke dobara talaq maangna chahti thi aur agar wo phir bhi mana
kar deta, to usne faisla kiya tha ke sab kuch Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ko bata degi. Apne B.Sc.
exams ke baad, wo Public Call Office (PCO) gayi aur Salar ko phone kiya.

Usne Salar ka diya hua cell phone use karna kab ka chor diya tha; wo Salar ka apna
number tha aur usne socha ke shayad ab wo khud use kar raha ho, ya phir wo naya
number jo usne usse do saal pehle diya tha, use kar raha ho. Bari bechaini ke sath,
usne dono numbers pe call ki lekin kisi bhi number pe jawab nahi mila. Shaayad ab
uske paas ek naya number tha aur Imama ke paas wo nahi tha. Majbooran, usne
uske ghar ka number milaya. Ghanti baji, phir kisi ne phone uthaya aur ek aurat ki
awaaz aayi, "Hello."

443
"Hello. Mujhe Salar Sikander se baat karni hai," Imama ne kaha.

"Salar Sahib....Yeh kaun baat kar rahi hai?" Imama ko ehsaas hua ke doosri taraf jo
bhi tha, wo shakk mein pad gaya tha. Awaaz jaani pehchani lag rahi thi lekin wo
pehchan nahi paayi. Imama kuch keh paati, doosri taraf se aurat ne joosh se kaha,
"Imama Bibi...kya yeh aap hain Imama Bibi?"

Imama ko dar se ek jhatka sa laga. Baghair soche samjhe, usne receiver ko wapas
cradle mein rakh diya, line disconnect karte hue. Kaun ho sakta tha jo itni jaldi sirf
kuch lafz sun kar usse pehchan gaya? Aur wo bhi Salar ke ghar mein? Wo dar ke
mare wahi khadi reh gayi. Uske haath kanp rahe the. PCO ke inner booth mein baithi
hui, usne khud ko tasalli dene ki koshish ki.

"Mujhe darne ki zaroorat nahi. Main Islamabad se itni door hoon, koi mujhe yahan
trace nahi kar sakta. Mujhe darne ki zaroorat nahi." Dheere dheere usne apne aap ko
sambhala.

Khud ko yakeen dilaane ke baad ke usey darne ki zaroorat nahi, usne himmat jutai
aur dobara call ki. Usne PCO ke malik se kaha ke use phir se wahi number milaye.

Kisi ne foran phone uthaya; ek mard ki awaaz ne uska khair maqdam kiya. Ye Salar
nahi tha; wo uski awaaz pehchan jati.

"Mujhe Salar Sikander se baat karni hai," usne kaha.

"Kya yeh Imama Hashim hain?" doosri taraf se awaaz sakht aur be-rahm thi.

"Jee..." Imama is dafa pur-sukoon rahi.

Doosri taraf mukammal khamoshi thi.

"Kya main unse baat kar sakti hoon?" Imama ne apni request dohrayi.

"Yeh mumkin nahi hai," mard ne aakhir kar jawab diya.

"Kyoun nahi?"

"Wo...ab zinda nahi rahe."

"Kya? Kya wo...mar gaye?" Imama apne aap ko poochne se rok nahi saki.

"Jee..."

"Kab..."

444
Doosri taraf se lambi khamoshi thi. Phir mard ne bola, "Aapki unse aakhri baar kab
baat hui thi?"

"Kuch saal pehle...kariban do saal aur kuch mahinay pehle."

"Wo ek saal pehle mar gaye the. Aap..."

Imama ne line disconnect kar di. Ab aur kuch sunne ki zaroorat nahi thi. Wo azad thi.
Usne jana tha ke kisi bhi insaan ki maut par khushi manana galat hai, lekin wo apne
jazbaat ko rok nahi saki. Agar Salar ne us waqt uski talaq ki darkhwast maan li hoti,
to wo yaqeenan uski maut par gham manati.

Lekin ab, do saal baad, usne ek ajeeb si halka pan mehsoos kiya—ek rahat ka ehsaas.
Wo talwar jo uske sar par latak rahi thi, hat gayi thi. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali se baat karne ki
zaroorat nahi thi—wo waqai azad thi. Ye uska hostel mein aakhri din tha aur us raat
usne Salar ki ruh ki maghfirat ki dua ki. Jaise bhi, usne uski maut ka sun kar use maaf
kar diya tha; lekin wo uski maut par gham manane se qasir thi-- halaton ke yun
badlne se wo behad halka mehsoos kar rahi thi...

------------------------

Imama se jis aurat ne baat ki thi, wo Nasira thi jo Salar ke ghar aur Imama ke ghar
dono jagah kaam karti thi. Usne jaise hi Imama ki awaaz suni, usay pehchan liya. Jab
Imama ne phone line kaat di, to Nasira bari bechaini mein Usman Sikander ke paas
gayi. Ittefaq se, Usman Sikander us din ghar par tha. Uski tabiyat subah se kharab thi
aur wo kaam par nahi gaya tha.

"Ek larki ne thodi der pehle phone kiya... wo Salar se baat karna chahti thi," Nasira ne
Usman se kaha.

"To usse batao," Usman be-parwah tha. Ek aur ittefaq se, Salar bhi wahan tha—wo
America se aya hua tha aur ghar par tha.

Nasira pareshaan ho gayi. "Saab jee, yeh Imama Bibi ka phone tha," usne kaha.

Usman Sikander ke haath se chai ka cup girte girte bacha. "Imama Hashim? Hashim
Mubeen ki beti?"

Nasira ne sir hila kar tasdeeq ki.

445
"To kya Salar itne arsey se jhoot bol raha tha jab wo kehta tha ke uska Imama se koi
taluq nahi?" Usman ne socha, uska dimagh chakkar khane laga.

Unchi awaz mein usne poocha, "Kya usne kaha ke wo Imama hai?"

"Nahi Saab jee, maine uski awaaz pehchan li thi. Aur jab maine poocha, to usne
phone rakh diya."

Phone phir bajne laga. Nasira se pehle, Usman ne apne kamre ka extension uthaya.
Samne jo larki thi usne tasdeeq ki ke wo Imama hai; usne yeh bhi bataya ke uska
Salar se pichle do saal se zyada arsey se koi raabta nahi. Usman ko koi tareeqa nahi
tha yeh confirm karne ka ke wo sach bol rahi thi ya nahi, lekin uska instinkt keh raha
tha ke larki jhoot nahi bol rahi.

"Kaash main usse Salar se raabta karne se door rakh sakoon, hum ek badi museebat
se hamesha ke liye nijat paa lenge," Usman ne socha. Aur phir usne Imama ko bataya
ke Salar mar chuka hai.

Usman Sikander ke liye wo saal jab Imama gayab hui thi bohot mushkil tha. Hashim
Mubeen ne Salar par shak karte hue Usman Sikander par har tarah ka dabao dala.
Uske firms ke bills jo aasani se government offices se pass ho jate the, wo bina kisi
wajah ke delay hone lage; usse dhamki bhare khat aur phone calls milne lage; anjaan
log usse mil kar dhamki dene lage ke Hashim Mubeen ki beti ko wapas lane mein
madad kare; kaafi arse tak Salar ka peecha kiya gaya aur yeh pareshani us waqt tak
khatam nahi hui jab tak usse bahar bhej nahi diya gaya. America mein bhi Salar par
nazar rakhi gayi jab tak Hashim Mubeen ko yeh yaqeen nahi ho gaya ke Imama aur
Salar ka aapas mein koi raabta nahi.

Imama ke gayab hone mein Salar ke involve hone ka koi saboot nahi milne par yeh
pareshani aakhir khatam hui. Usman ne kai koshish ki ke Hashim Mubeen ke sath
achay taluqat dobara qayam karein lekin sab nafrat mein kamyab nahi ho saki. Aur
ab do saal baad yeh larki dobara Salar se raabta karne ki koshish kar rahi thi. Usman
ko dobara in museebaton se guzarne ka koi shauq nahi tha aur na hi wo yeh Salar
ke liye chahta tha.

Agar wo khud bhi Hashim Mubeen Ahmed ki tarah ameer aadmi nahi hota, to
Hashim usko aur zyada pareshan kar sakta tha. Usman bechain tha ke wo Imama ko
wo talaq nama bhej de jo usne Salar ke behalf pe tayar karwaya tha: wo talaq nama

446
jali tha aur Salar ko iske bare mein koi pata nahi tha lekin Usman ko isse koi farq
nahi padta—wo sirf yeh dikhana chahta tha ke Imama ka uski family se koi taluq nahi
aur na hi wo koi ummed rakh sakti thi. Agar koi taluq tha—chahe kitna hi kamzor
kyun na ho—ab wo Salar ki maut ki khabar se khatam ho gaya tha. Ittefaq se, Imama
ne phone rakh diya tha uski baat sunne se pehle. Usne call trace karne ki koshish ki
aur pata chala ke yeh Multan ke PCO se thi.

Salar ke America wapas jane se pehle ek hafta baqi tha.

Usman Sikander ne faisla kiya ke wo Salar ke har harkat par sakht nazar rakhega.
Baghair uske jaane, Salar ke Pakistan mein rehne ke aakhri hafta mein uski har harkat
dekhi gayi. Uske saare phone calls monitor kiye gaye aur naukron ko hukam diya
gaya ke kisi bhi call ko us tak nahi ponchnay dena, chahe koi bhi call kare. Nasira ko
sakht chetawani di gayi ke wo Salar ko nahi bataye ke Imama ne call kiya tha. Jab
Salar ek hafta baad America chala gaya, to Usman Sikander ne sukoon ka saans liya.
Khatra tal gaya tha.

Lahore wapas laut kar, Imama ne cell phone bech diya (kyunke ab uske paas wo
Salar ko wapas karne ka koi tareeqa nahi tha). Jo paisay usne hasil kiye unmein kuch
aur paisay milaye taake phone bills ka kharcha cover ho sake jo usne do saal pehle
diye honge, plus wo paisay jo Salar ne us pe kharch kiye honge, Lahore drop karne
aur doosri mukhtalif kharchon ke liye. Ye sara paisa usne Usman Sikander ko
Islamabad post kar diya ek choti si note ke sath jismein usne bataya ke wo paisay
kyun bhej rahi hai; is tarah usne wo paisay wapas kar diye jo usne Salar pe udhaar
thi aur apne aap ko uss pe koi zimmedari se azad kar diya.

Usman Sikander ne yeh chota packet mila aur wo sukoon mehsoos karne laga. Usne
tasdeeq ki ke Imama apne tamam taluqaat khatam kar rahi thi aur usse yeh bhi yakin
ho gaya ke usne uski kahani pe shak nahi kiya.

-------------------

Apna B.Sc. mukammal karne ke baad, Imama Multan se Lahore wapas aayi. Ab usse
ghar chhode hue teen saal ho gaye the. Wo yakin tha ke uski talash ab pehle jitni
shiddat se nahi ho rahi hogi jitni kuch saal pehle thi. Maksimum yeh tha ke uske
ghar wale ab bhi medical colleges ko dekh rahe honge.

447
Uska ye andaza durust tha. Ab zyada pur-aitmaad hone ke bawajood, usne apni
hoshiyaari kam nahi hone di. Usne Punjab University ke Chemistry Department mein
admission liya aur apne M.Sc. ke liye register kiya. Multan mein, wo sirf college aate
jaate waqt chador pehenti thi, lekin ab usne burqa pehenna shuru kar diya jo uska
chehra bhi dhak leta tha. Aakhir kar, yeh Lahore tha aur koi usse pehchan sakta tha.

Lahore wapas aane par usne Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke saath rehne ka faisla nahi kiya; balki
usne Saeeda Amma ke saath rehna shuru kar diya.

----------------

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne Imama ko Multan jane se pehle Saeeda Amma se milwaya tha.
Wajah yeh thi ke Saeeda Amma ke bohot se rishtedaar Multan mein rehte the aur
Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ko lagta tha ke kisi bhi emergency mein Imama unse raabta kar sakegi.

Saeeda Amma ek bohot baatuni aur pur-josh aurat thi, jo kareeban 65-70 saal ki thi
aur Lahore ke purane sheher ke ek bade ghar mein akeli rehti thi. Unke shauhar kuch
saal pehle wafat paa gaye the. Unke dono bete taleem ke liye bahar chale gaye the
aur taleem mukammal karne ke baad, unhone wahan shaadi kar li aur wahan rehna
pasand kiya. Unhone bohot martaba apni maa ko unke sath rehne ke liye mana kiya
lekin wo nahi maani. Ab unke bete barhi barhi apni maa ko milne aate the aur kuch
waqt unke sath guzarte the. Saeeda Amma ka Dr. Sibt-e-Ali se rishta yeh tha ke wo
unki cousin thi.

Imama ko ghar lane se pehle, Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne Saeeda Amma ko Imama ke bare
mein sab kuch bata diya tha. Jab Imama unke ghar aayi to Saeeda Amma ne usey
garamjoshi se khushamdeed kaha aur Multan mein apne har rishtedar ke bare mein
tafseel se batane lagi. Aur jaise yeh kaafi nahi tha, unhone khud bhi Multan jaane aur
Imama ko uske college tak chhorne ka offer diya—ek aisa offer jo Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne
narmi se magar mazbooti se mana kar diya.

"Nahi, behan, yeh bohot takleef ki baat hogi," unhone kaha.

"Shayad behtar idea yeh hoga ke Imama mere kisi bhai ke sath reh jaye." Saeeda
Amma hostel mein rehne ke faide ke bare mein shak karne lagi. "Uska wahan accha
khayal rakha jayega aur use ghar jaisa sukoon milega." Unhone hostel mein rehte

448
hue Imama ko darpesh masail aur takleefon ke bare mein tafseel se bataya. Imama
ko sukoon mila jab Dr. Sibt-e-Ali apne faisle par qaim rahe aur hostel mein rehne par
zor diya. Imama khud bhi yeh samajhti thi ke yeh sabse behtar option tha.

------------------------

Multan ke hostel mein kuch mahine guzarne ke baad, Imama ki agli mulaqat Saeeda
Amma se wahin hui. Ek din usse bataya gaya ke ek aurat usse milne aayi hai. Imama
dar se sunn pad gayi. Kaun usse milne aya ho sakta hai aur wo bhi ek aurat? Jab
usne meeting area mein Saeeda Amma ko apne intezar mein dekha, to wo hairan reh
gayi. Saeeda Amma ne usse Lahore ki tarah garamjoshi aur meherbani se milaya.
Saeeda Amma apne rishtedaron se milne ke liye Multan mein do haftay ke liye aayi
thi; aur un do hafton mein wo aksar Imama se milne aayi. Ek martaba wo Imama ko
apne bhai aur uske ghar walon se milwane bhi le gayi.

Phir ye routine ban gayi. Har kuch mahine baad Saeeda Amma Multan aati aur hostel
mein Imama se milne jati. Jab Imama Lahore apne mahine ke dauraan jati, to wo bhi
Saeeda Amma se milne jati. Agar uska Lahore mein arsa lamba hota, to Saeeda
Amma ke israr par kabhi kabhi raat ko bhi wahan ruk jati. Imama ko Saeeda Amma
ka purana eent ka ghar bohot pasand tha. Bina kuch kahe, dono ek doosre ke sath
pur-sukoon mehsoos karti thi kyunke dono ek hi qisam ke tanhai ka shikar thi,
halanke Saeeda Amma ke paas Imama ke muqable mein doston aur humsayoon ka
sahara tha. Apni haalat ke wajah se, Saeeda Amma Imama se humdardi mehsoos
karti thi. Jab Imama ne usse itminan ke sath bataya ke wo apna M.Sc. Lahore se
karne ka irada rakhti hai, to Saeeda Amma ne usse apne sath rehne par maan ne ke
liye kehna shuru kar diya.

Isi doran, Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ki bari beti wapas apne walid ke ghar aa gayi. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali
ke damad, jo unka bhatija bhi tha, wo apni PhD mukammal karne ke liye bahar ja
raha tha. Faisla kiya gaya ke jab tak wo bahar rahega, uski biwi aur bachay Dr. Sibt-e-
Ali ke sath rahenge.

449
Halanke Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ka ghar itna bara tha ke sab ko apne andar samet sakta tha,
Imama ko wahan rehne mein ajeeb lagne laga. Waise bhi, wo Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ki sab
meherbaniyon ki itni zyada maqrooz thi ke wo jitni jaldi ho sake apne pairo par khadi
hona chahti thi. Agar wo Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke sath rehti, to wo uski taleem ka kharcha
uthane par zor dete aur shayad uske kaam shuru karne ke baad bhi uski madad karte
rehte. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke ghar mein reh kar wo kabhi bhi apni khud mukhtari nahi sabit
kar sakti thi. Ek azad zindagi sabse behtar hal tha, usne mehsoos kiya. Aur Saeeda
Amma ke sath rehna uske liye mukammal tha. Jab usse naukri mil jati, to wo Saeeda
Amma ko choti si kiraya dene par bhi zor de sakti thi—jo Dr. Sibt-e-Ali kabhi bhi
manzoor nahi karte agar wo unke ghar mein rehti.

------------------------

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke liye, Amina ka yeh faisla ke woh ghar chor kar ja rahi hai, ek bohat
bara jhatka tha.
"Kyoon Amina? Tum mere ghar kyoon nahi raho gi?"
"Saeeda Amma ka zord hai ke main unke saath rahoon."
"Main unse baat karta hoon."
"Nahi, baat yeh nahi hai. Main khud unke saath rehna chahti hoon. Agar main unke
saath rahoon gi toh woh tanha nahi rahengi."
"Yeh koi wajah nahi hai. Tum roz unse milne ja sakti ho agar chahti ho. Tumhein
wahan rehne ki zaroorat kyoon hai?"
"Please, mujhe wahan rehne do. Mujhe is tarah khushi milegi. Main apne pairon par
khara hona chahti hoon," Imama ne guzarish ki.
"Main tumhari baat samajh nahi raha," Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne jawab diya.
"Main aap par bojh nahi banna chahti. Jitna aapne mere liye kiya hai, uske liye main
hamesha qarzdar rahoon gi. Main zindagi bhar qarzdar nahi rehna chahti…" Imama ki
awaaz dheemi ho gayi. Usay ehsaas hua ke usne Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke dil ko chot
pohanchayi hai. Usay apne alfaz par afsos hua.
"Maine kabhi tumhein bojh nahi samjha Amina. Kabhi nahi. Betiyan kabhi bojh nahi
hoti aur mere liye tum meri beti ho…tumhari baat ne mujhe bohot dukh diya hai."
"Sorry Abu. Yeh mera matlab nahi tha. Main sirf apne jazbaat ka izhar kar rahi thi.

450
Kisi par mohtaaj hona aik dardnaak haqeeqat hai. Saeeda Amma ke saath rehne se
mujhe sukoon milega. Main apne rehnay ka kharcha doongi. Woh cheez jo main
kabhi aapke saath nahi kar sakti. Main aapki itni qarzdar hoon ke agar das
zindagiyan bhi jee loon tab bhi aapka ehsaan nahi utaar sakti. Magar ab…abhi ke
liye…main apne bal-boote par jeena seekhna chahti hoon. Please mujhe karne dein…"
Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne aur zyada israr nahi kiya. Is baat par bhi Imama unki shukar guzar
thi.
Imama ke liye Saeeda Amma ke saath rehna aik nai zindagi ka aghaz tha. Yeh Dr.
Sibt-e-Ali aur unke ghar walon ke saath rehne se mukhtalif tha; hostel mein rehne se
bhi alag. Usay pehli martaba ajeeb se khushi aur azadi mehsoos ho rahi thi.
Saeeda Amma akeli rehti thi. Subha ek naukarani aati thi jo ghar ka kaam karti aur
shaam tak chali jaati thi. Saeeda Amma ka ik wadee social circle tha aur wo aksar
apne doston aur rishtedaron se milne jaati rehti thi, aur apne ghar par bhi unko
milne log aate rehte the. Unhone sab ko Imama ko apni behan ki beti keh kar
milwaya. Waqt guzarne ke sath, wo usay apni beti kehne lagi. Jo purane log the wo
Imama ko Saeeda Amma ki bhanji samajhte the aur naye log usay unki beti. Koi is
rishte ko zyada sochta nahi tha. Sab jante the ke Saeeda Amma ka dil kitna pyar se
bharpoor hai. Unke betay aur unki families bhi Imama ko apni family ka hissa
samajhne lage aur jab bhi wo Lahore aate, Imama se bhi baat karte. Jab wo Lahore
apni salana chutti par aate, wo Imama ko behan ki tarah treat karte aur Imama bhi
apne aap ko family ka hissa mehsoos karti; usay aksar lagta ke wo haqeeqat mein
Saeeda Amma ki beti hai, unke beton ki behan, aur unke bachon ki khala.
Apna M.Sc. Punjab University se mukammal karne ke baad, Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne usay aik
pharmaceutical company mein naukri dilwai. Yeh aik achi naukri thi aur pehli martaba
Imama khud mukhtalif ho gayi thi. Yeh zindagi wo nahi thi jo usne apne walidain ke
ghar mein guzari thi; na yeh woh zindagi thi jo usne kabhi apne khwabon mein dekhi
thi; magar yeh bhi wo buri zindagi nahi thi jis se usay dar tha jab wo ghar se bhag
gayi thi saalon pehle. Wo kisi se baat nahi kar sakti thi magar usay lagta tha ke uski
zindagi mojzat se bhari hui thi. Salar Sikander jaise aadmi ki madad lena…Dr. Sibt-e-
Ali ke ghar panah milna…Saeeda Amma ke saath nai family milna…apni taleem
mukammal karna…aur ab yeh naukri. Uski zindagi ka bas ek afsos tha, Jalal Ansar.
Agar wo usse shaadi kar pati toh wo duniya ki sabse khush-naseeb shakhs hoti.
Jo aath saal guzre ghar se bhaagne ke baad usne Imama ko mukammal tor par badal
diya tha. Ghar chor kar usay yeh maloom tha ke wo apne piyaron aur wafaadar

451
logon ka pyar kho rahi thi; ke usay kisi se umeed nahi rakhni chahiye; ke jab log usay
dhoka denge toh usay dukh nahi mehsoos karna chahiye. Yeh saal usay mazboot
bana gaye the; ab wo choti se choti baat par nahi rone lagi thi. Ab wo pehle se
zyada pur-etemad thi. Magar in saalon ki azadi ne usay ehtiyaat sikhai thi; wo ab
apne alfaaz mein ehtiyaat karti thi aur apne rawaiye mein bhi ehtiyaat bartti thi.

Usay Dr. Sibt-e-Ali aur Saeeda Amma ki families se bepanah pyar mila tha aur wo
bohot ehtiyat se rehti thi ke kabhi koi aisi baat ya harkat na karay jo unko naraz kare
ya unki nazron mein girne ka sabab bane. Yeh wo cheez thi jo usay apne ghar walon
ke sath rehte hue kabhi nahi karni padti thi. Hoshyari aur adab usne nayi seekhi thi.

Jis din Saeeda Amma ghayab ho gayi, Imama kaam par thi. Jab wo ghar pohnchi toh
ghar tala laga hua tha. Yeh koi fikr ki baat nahi thi kyunki Saeeda Amma aksar apni
milni julni tabiat ki wajah se bahar hoti thi jab Imama ghar aati thi.

Imama ne darwaza khola aur andar chali gayi. Yeh takreeban chaar baje shaam ka
waqt tha.

Lekin jab masjid se maghrib ki azaan hui, toh Imama ko fikr hone lagi. Saeeda Amma
ka mamool tha ke wo sooraj dhalne se pehle ghar wapas aa jati thi. Imama padosi ke
ghar gayi poochne ke liye. Usay bataya gaya ke padosi ka beta Saeeda Amma ko
Bilal ke ghar chor kar aaya tha.

Kyoonke Imama Bilal ke ghar walon ko achi tarah janti thi, usne unhein phone kiya
aur Saeeda Amma ke baare mein poocha. Unhone bataya ke Saeeda Amma aayi thi
magar dopehar ke waqt nikal gayi thi. Imama ne apne sab padosiyon aur doston ko
phone kar ke pata lagaya. Har jagah se usay nafrat mil rahi thi; ab usay bohot fikr
hone lagi thi. Usne Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ko phone karke bataya ke Saeeda Amma gayab
hain.

Jo cheez usay sach mein fikr mein mubtala kar rahi thi wo yeh thi ke Saeeda Amma
sheher se bilkul nawaqif thi. Wo apne ilaqe aur purane sheher ke ilawa kisi jagah se
waqif nahi thi; magar jab wo apne maamool ke ilaqe se bahar hoti, wo kho jati thi.
Agar unhein apne ilaqe se bahar jana hota toh wo kisi padosi ke ladke ya Imama se
madad mangti thi.

452
Salar, doosri taraf, Lahore ke tamam ilaqon se waqif tha siwae purane sheher ke.
Agar usay purane sheher ka kuch idea hota, toh wo Saeeda Amma ko ghar wapas la
sakta tha, unke vague directions ke bawajood.

Raat bohot dair ho gayi thi jab Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne Imama ko phone kar ke bataya ke
Saeeda Amma ko ek dost ke zariye trace kar liya gaya hai aur wo jald ghar wapas
aayengi. Imama ne sukoon ka saans liya.

Ek ghante baad jab ghanti baji, Imama dor kar darwaza kholne gayi. Ek achi shakal
wala aadmi usay mubarakbad de raha tha aur picheh mur kar Saeeda Amma ko
alvida keh raha tha jo uske peecheh khadi thi. Usne doosre lambay aadmi ko mushkil
se dekha, jo uski taraf peth kar ke khada tha. Dono aadmi chale gaye aur Imama ne
Saeeda Amma ko zor se gale lagaya.

Agle kuch din Saeeda Amma un do naujawanon ka aksar zikr karti rahi jo unki
madad ko aaye the—Furqan aur Salar. Imama ne Salar ko Salar Sikandar ke sath nahi
milaya. Murde wapas nahi aate. Waise bhi, Salar Sikandar wo shakhs nahi tha jo kisi
ki madad kare ya jismein wo sab khoobiyaan hoti jo Saeeda Amma itni shauq se
bayan kar rahi thi.

Kuch din baad Furqan apni biwi ke sath Saeeda Amma se milne aya.

Imama ki pehli mulaqat us se hui. Usay Furqan aur uski biwi dono pasand aaye. Agle
kuch maheenon mein wo aksar milne aate aur wo ache dost ban gaye.

--------------------------------

Ab Imama ko kaam karte hue do saal ho gaye the. Shayad zindagi isi tarah chalti
rehti agar ek din wo us gali se na guzarti jahan Dr. Jalal Ansar ne apna hospital
banaya tha. Unka naam bahar likha hua tha. Imama ne be-ikhtiyaar ruk gayi. Kuch
der wahan khadi uska naam dekhti rahi, phir usne pacca irada kiya aur wahan se chal
padi. Usne apne aap se wada kiya ke wo phir kabhi is gali se nahi guzre gi. Jalal
shadi shuda tha; yeh usne apne ghar chor ke jaane ke baad jana tha. Wo uski zindagi
ka hissa dobara nahi banna chahti thi. Lekin kismet ko kuch aur manzoor tha.

453
Do haftay baad jab wo kaam par thi, uski mulaqat Rabia se ho gayi jo kisi kaam se
wahan aayi thi. Usay apne samne dekh kar Imama pareshan ho gayi.

Usay samajh nahi aayi ke usay salam kare ya nahi. Rabia ne uski mushkil hal kar di.

Usay garm joshi se gale lagate hue kehne lagi, "Imama, tum kahan thi? Tumhare
ghaib hone se college aur hostel mein bohot hungama ho gaya tha."

Imama ne kamzor si muskurahat di. "Main ghar chor gayi thi; kyoon, yeh tumhe pata
hoga." Imama ne zyada tafseel nahi di.

"Haan, mujhe kuch andaza hai ke tum kyoon gayi thi lekin maine kisi se baat nahi ki.
Jab tum ghaib hui toh hum sab mushkil mein par gaye the. Main, Javeria, Zainab...
police ne humein bohot pareshan kiya lekin humein koi maloomat nahi thi ke tum
kahan thi. Bohot afwahan thi tumhare baare mein aur hostel aur college mein bohot
gossip hoti thi." Rabia ne batate hue kursi par beth gayi. "Kya tum akeli gayi thi?"
usne achanak poocha.

"Haan." Imama ne intercom on karke chai mangi.

"Lekin tum gayi kahan thi?"

"Kahin nahi. Main yahin Lahore mein thi. Lekin tum apne baare mein batao, aur
Javeria...aur baaki sab."

"Main yahin Lahore mein practice karti hoon; Javeria Islamabad mein hai. Woh wahan
kaam karti hai. Usne ek doctor se shadi kar li. Maine Farooq se shadi ki. Tumhe
Farooq yaad hai? Woh hamare college mein tha."

Imama muskurai. "Aur Zainab?"

"Zainab aaj kal London mein hai, apne husband ke sath residency kar rahi hai. Mere
husband Farooq ka uske bhai ke hospital mein practice hai."

"Jalal Ansar ke hospital mein?" Imama apne aap ko rok nahi payi.

"Haan. Jalal ke hospital mein. Jalal ne apni specialization mukammal kar ke apna
hospital setup kiya. Wo bohot acha shakhs hai lekin afsos ke sath uske apne maslay
hain. Uska talak ho gaya hai."

"Talak... kyoon?"

454
"Mujhe nahi pata kyoon. Farooq ne us se poocha tha lekin usne sirf yeh kaha ke
unka aur uski biwi ka apas mein samajh nahi ban saka. Wo bhi bohot achi thi—a
doctor. Hum dono se dosti ho gayi thi aur aksar unke ghar jate the. Kabhi soch bhi
nahi sakte the ke un dono ke darmiyan koi masla ho sakta hai. Uska teen saal ka
beta hai jo uske sath rehta hai. Uski biwi wapas US chali gayi hai."

Rabia ne baat ka rukh badalte hue kaha, "Lekin ab tum apne baare mein batao. Main
dekh rahi hoon ke tum yahan kaam karti ho, lekin tumhari taleem ka kya? Tumne
apni degree mukammal ki?"

"Maine apna Masters Chemistry mein kiya."

"Toh, kya tumhari shadi ho gayi?"

"Nahi, abhi tak nahi."

"Aur tumhare walidain? Kya tumhari unse sulah ho gayi?"

"Nahi." Imama ne dheemi awaaz mein jawab diya.

Rabia kuch der aur bethi, phir chali gayi. Imama ke liye baqi din bohot mushkil tha.
Wo Jalal Ansar ke baare mein sochna band nahi kar sakti thi. Usne kabhi usay waqi
bhulaya nahi tha—yeh sirf ek khayali baat thi. Wo waqi usay apni zindagi se alag
nahi kar sakti thi; aaj phir usay yeh ehsaas hua ke wo kitna usay chahti thi. Usne usay
apni zindagi se sirf isliye nikal diya tha ke wo uski zindagi mein koi pareshani nahi
lana chahti thi, na hi uske shadi shuda zindagi mein koi masla paida karna chahti thi.
Ab, wo phir se akela tha. Usne apni zindagi ke wo aath saal yaad kiye jab wo Jalal se
shadi na kar sakne par bilak-bilak kar royi thi. Raste mein bohot si rukawatein thi—
wo rukawatein jo wo khud bhi door nahi kar sakti thi aur wo rukawatein jo Jalal ke
bas mein bhi nahi thi.

Ab, waqt beech mein aaya tha. Wo rukawatein ab nahi thi. Uski shadi ho chuki thi
aur ab uska talak ho chuka tha, yeh uske liye koi masla nahi tha; na hi yeh ke uska
ek teen saal ka beta tha.

"Mujhe us se milna chahiye," usne faisla kiya. "Shayad wo ab bhi mere baare mein
sochta ho. Shayad usne apni ghalti ko pehchana ho." Imama usay maaf karne ko
tayar thi jo dukh usne usay pichli baar phone par diye the.

455
Koi bhi aisa hi karta. Aakhir koi bhi ek ladki ke liye sab kuch risk nahi karta. Usay
apne career ka sochna tha; aur apne walidain ka jinke itne sapne aur umeedein us se
judi thi. Wo sab kuch kaise chor sakta tha? Mere tarah, wo bhi majboor tha, usne
apne aap se samjha. Unke wo teekhe alfaaz jo usne saalon pehle kahe the, ab bhula
diye the; unhone usay apna faisla dobara sochne se nahi roka.

"Mujhe us se milna chahiye. Shayad Allah mujhe ek aur moka de raha hai. Shayad
meri sab duaein ab poori ho rahi hain. Shayad Allah ne mujh par reham kar liya hai.
Warna Rabia meri zindagi mein itni achanak kyoon aati? Mujhe kaise pata chalta ke
wo ab talak shuda hai?

Shayad, agar main us se phir miloon..."

Usne apna faisla kar liya. Wo Jalal Ansar se milne ja rahi thi.

---------------------------

"Mein Dr Jalal Ansar se milna chahti hoon," usne receptionist se kaha.

"Kya aapka appointment hai?" receptionist ne poocha.

"Nahi."

"Toh mujhe afsos hai ke aap unse nahi mil sakti. Dr Ansar bina appointment ke
patients se nahi milte." Receptionist ne baydilpan se jawab diya.

"Mein patient nahi hoon. Mein unki dost hoon." Imama ne narmi se kaha aur dono
haath receptionist ke desk par rakh diye.

"Kya Dr Ansar ko pata hai ke aap unse milne aayi hain?"

"Nahi."

"Toh mujhe unse poochna padega," receptionist ne phone uthate hue kaha. "Aapka
naam please?"

Jab Imama ne jawab nahi diya, toh receptionist ne apna sawaal dohraya. "Aapka
naam bata sakti hain?"

"Imama Hashim." Imama ko yaad nahi tha ke usne apna naam aakhri dafa kab zor se
kaha tha.

456
"Sir, yahan ek Imama Hashim aap se milne aayi hain," receptionist ne intercom par
kaha. Phir Imama ki taraf muskura kar dekhte hue kaha, "Aap andar jaa sakti hain."

Ek patient doctor ke room se nikal raha tha. Imama andar chali gayi. Jalal desk ke
peechay khara tha, uske chehre par hairani likhi hui thi. Usne apne dil ki dhadkan
apne kaanon mein mehsoos ki. Isse zyada waqt guzar gaya tha jab un dono ki
mulaqat hui thi, kab hui thi woh yaad nahi kar sakti thi.

"Imama, kitni achi baat hai!" Jalal ne usay garmjoshi se milte hue kaha. "Mujhe
yaqeen nahi ho raha. Tum kaise ho?"

"Mein theek hoon. Aur tum?" Woh usay dekh rahi thi—us chehre ko jo usne aath
saal mein bhulaya nahi tha. Us awaaz ko sun rahi thi jo usne aath saal mein nahi
bhulai thi.

"Mein bhi theek hoon," usne apne desk ke samne kursi ki taraf ishara karte hue kaha.
Usne desk ke peechay jaa kar baith gaya.

Usne hamesha jaana tha ke Jalal se dobara milna uske liye khushi ka baais hoga,
magar jo joosh usne mehsoos kiya…usne kabhi socha nahi tha ke aisa hoga.

"Tum kya logi? Chai? Coffee? Ya koi soft drink?" woh pooch raha tha.

"Jo tum chaho."

"Toh phir coffee lenge. Tumhein hamesha pasand thi." Usne receptionist se coffee
mangaane ko kaha.

Imama ne dekha ke saalon mein usme kitna tabadla aaya tha. Ab usne daari nahi
rakhi thi; uska hairstyle badal gaya tha aur uska wazan bhi badh gaya tha. Pooray tor
par woh pehle se zyada pur-aitmaad aur khud-mukhtar lag raha tha.

"Toh tum aajkal kya kar rahi ho?" usne receiver rakhte hue poocha.

"Mein ek pharmaceutical company mein kaam karti hoon."

"Kya tumne apni medical studies mukammal ki?"

"Nahi. Meine Chemistry mein M.Sc. ki."

"Konsi company ke liye kaam karti ho?" Usne bataya.

"Yeh bohot achi company hai." Usne agle chand minutes us company ki tareef karte
hue guzar diye. Imama usay ghoor rahi thi.

457
"Mein specialize karne ke liye bahar gaya tha…" Ab woh apne bare mein bata raha
tha. Woh sirf usay dekh kar khush thi. Kabhi kabhi sirf kisi ka wahan hona hi kaafi
hota hai, woh apne dil mein soch rahi thi. "Ek saal ho gaya hai jab se meine yeh
hospital shuru kiya aur meri achi practice chal rahi hai." Woh abhi bhi baat kar raha
tha jab coffee le aayi gayi.

"Tumhein mere bare mein kaise pata chala?" usne coffee ka cup uthate hue poocha.

"Meine tumhara naam doctors ke panel par dekha. Aur phir Rabia ne bhi mujhe
bataya. Tum Rabia ko jaante ho? Zainab usay achi tarah se jaanti hai."

"Rabia Farooq? Haan, mein usey jaanta hoon. Uska shauhar Dr Farooq yahan mera
colleague hai."

"Haan…toh mein aa gayi." Imama ne abhi tak coffee ko haath nahi lagaya. Yeh uske
liye abhi bhi bohot garam thi. Usne Jalal Ansar ko dekha, woh mard jisay usne kabhi
idealize kiya tha. Usne samjha tha ke usmein wo saari khoobiyan hain jo ek mard
mein honi chahiyein; wo saari khoobiyan jo woh apne shauhar mein dekhna chahti
thi. Usay yakeen tha ke woh ab bhi waisa hi hai. Yeh zaroori nahi ke usne daari na
rakhi ho toh uska matlab yeh ho ke woh Peghambar (PBUH) ko pehle se kam izzat
deta ho. Woh ab bhi apne hospital ki tareef kar raha tha aur Imama ko woh awaaz
yaad aayi jisne itne saal pehle ek mushkil faisla aasan bana diya tha.

Woh khush thi uski kamiyabi ki baatein sunkar. Yeh usi wajah se usne usay aath saal
pehle reject kiya tha. Ab usne apni sab khwahishat poori kar li thi. Ab uski shaadi
mein koi rukawat nahi honi chahiye. Ab koi mushkil nahi honi chahiye.

"Kya tumhari shaadi ho gayi hai?" Usne achanak guftagu ka mauzu badal diya.

"Nahi." Imama ne narmi se jawab diya.

"Toh tum kahan rehti ho? Apne walidain ke saath?"

Imama ko ab uski awaz mein fikar mehsoos hui.

"Nahi."

"Toh phir kahan…"

"Mein akeli rehti hoon. Mein apne walidain ke paas kaise laut sakti thi?" Woh ab bhi
bohot narmi se bol rahi thi. "Aur tumhare bare mein kya? Tumhari shaadi ho gayi?"

458
"Ho gayi thi. Ab talaq ho chuki hai. Mera ek teen saal ka beta hai. Woh mere saath
rehta hai." Jalal ke lehje mein koi jazbaat nahi tha.

"Mujhe afsos hai sun kar," Imama ne afsos ka izhar kiya.

"Afsoos mat karo. Acha hi hua ke khatam ho gayi. Yeh shaadi nahi thi, yeh ek
musibat thi." Jalal ne coffee ka cup wapas table par rakh diya. Kuch dair ke liye
khamoshi kamre mein cha gayi.

"Kai saal pehle meine tumse shaadi ki darkhwast ki thi," Imama ne aakhir khamoshi
tod di.

Jalal ne bina kuch kahe usay dekha.

"Tab meine tumse shaadi ki darkhwast ki thi. Kya ab mein woh darkhwast dobara kar
sakti hoon?" Usne dekha ke Jalal ka chehra rang badal raha tha.

"Halaat tab se badal chuke hain. Ab tum apne walidain par inhesaar nahi karti, woh
tumhari apni marzi se shaadi par aitraaz nahi kar sakte, aur mere walidain bhi ab koi
dakhal nahi de sakte." Imama ruk gayi Jalal ke jawab ka intezar karte hue. Koi jawab
nahi aaya. Khamoshi uske aas paas chap gayi jo uske nerves ko strain kar rahi thi.

"Shayad usay fikar hai ke mujhe uske bete ke saath rehne par aitraaz ho." Usne uski
khamoshi ka samajhne ki koshish ki.

"Mujhe saaf kar dena chahiye ke mujhe uski pehli shaadi se koi aitraaz nahi hai aur
na uske bete ke saath rehne par."

"Jalal, mujhe koi masla nahi hai..."

"Yeh mumkin nahi hai, Imama..." Jalal ne uski baat kaat di.

"Yeh kyun mumkin nahi hai? Kya tum mujhse pyaar nahi karte?"

"Iska pyaar se koi taluq nahi hai, Imama. Bohot waqt guzar chuka hai. Aur waise bhi,
mein apni pehli shaadi ke nakam hone ke baad dobara shaadi karne ka irada nahi
rakhta. Mein apne career par diyan dena chahta hoon."

"Jalal, tumhein hamari shaadi ke nakam hone ki fikr nahi honi chahiye; tum jaante ho
mein aisa hone nahi doongi."

"Phir bhi, mein yeh risk nahi lena chahta." Jalal ne sakhti se jawab diya.

"Mein intezar kar sakti hoon..."

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"Iska koi faida nahi hoga Imama," Jalal ne gehri aah bhari. "Mein tumse shaadi karne
ki position mein nahi hoon."

Usne udasi se usay dekha.

"Mein pichli dafa apni marzi se shaadi ki thi. Woh nakam rahi. Mein dobara wohi
ghalti nahi dohrana chahta. Iss dafa mein wahan shaadi karunga jahan mere walidain
kahenge."

"Toh apne walidain se mere bare mein baat karo. Shayad woh man jaayein," Imama
ne apne dil mein doobti hui umeed ke saath kaha.

"Nahi. Mein unse baat nahi kar sakta. Dekho Imama, kuch haqiqatain hain jo humein
tasleem karni hongi. Mein tumhare jazbaat ki izzat karta hoon aur yeh tasleem karta
hoon ke ek waqt tha jab mujhe tumse dilchaspi thi. Ya phir, sahi tareeqe se kahun
toh, mujhe tumse pyaar tha. Aaj bhi tum mere dil mein ek khaas jagah rakhti ho aur
hamesha rakho gi. Lekin Imama, zindagi sirf jazbaat par mabni nahi hoti."

Usne ek lamha ke liye bolna band kar diya. Imama ne coffee ke cup se uthte dhuen
ke peeche se uska chehra dekha.

"Un saalon pehle, mein tumse guzarishta tha ke apna ghar na chodo. Tumne meri
baat nahi suni. Tumne apni marzi ki. Apne walidain ko raazi karne ke bajaye, tumne
mujh par dabao dala ke chupke se mujhse shaadi kar lo. Mein yeh nahi kar sakta tha
aur na hi yeh sahi hota. Mazhab ek factor tha, lekin yeh sirf ek factor nahi tha. Hum
us society ko nazar andaz nahi kar sakte jismein hum rehte hain aur jo social
obligations hum par hain."

Imama ko yaqeen nahi aaya ke Jalal us se yeh sab keh raha tha.

"Tum gaayab ho gayi thi; lekin kya tumhein andaza hai ke tumhare is amal se kitna
bada scandal bana. Tumhare walidain ne is baat ka khayal rakha ke khabar press tak
na pohonche lekin college mein sabko tumhare gaayab hone ka pata chal gaya.
Police ne mukammal tahqiqat ki aur tumhare aksar doston se poochtaach ki. Zainab
se bhi poocha gaya. Khushkismati se hum bach gaye."

Woh iztirab mein uth gaya. "Mein ne yahan tak pohonchne ke liye bohot mehnat ki
hai. Mein itna bahadur nahi hoon ke tumse shaadi karun aur log ungli uthayein. Mein
doctors ke community mein rehta hoon aur Imama Hashim se shaadi karne ka
matlab hoga ke us scandal ko dobara kholna jo medical community mein aath saal

460
pehle hila gaya tha. Agar mein tumse shaadi karta hoon toh mujhe sabse bacha kar
rehna hoga. Tum kaha thi itne saal? Tumne kaise zindagi guzari? Yeh sab sawalat
hain. Mere walidain tumhari baat ka yaqeen nahi karenge aur mujhe apni reputation
bachani hai. Tum shayad bohot achi ladki ho lekin tumhara naam kharab ho chuka
hai. Mein us ladki se shaadi nahi kar sakta jiska naam kharab ho chuka ho. Mein nahi
chahunga ke log yeh kahein ke meri biwi badnaam aurat hai. Mujhe afsos hai Imama,
umeed hai tum meri position samajh sakti ho."

Coffee cup mein thandi ho gayi thi. Ab aur dhuen nahi tha jis ke zariye woh Jalal
Ansar ka chehra dekh sakti thi, lekin uska chehra ab bhi dhundhla tha jaise dhuen ke
peeche ho; ya shayad uski aankhon mein aansuon ka dhuen tha jo Jalal Ansar ka
chehra dhundhla aur gaib kar raha tha. Kursi ke arm rests ko dono haathon se pakad
kar Imama ne apne aap ko uthne par majboor kiya.

"Haan, mein samajhti hoon. Khuda Hafiz," usne kaha aur kamra chhod diya.

"Mujhe afsos hai Imama..." Jalal maafi mangne ki koshish kar raha tha. Imama ne uski
taraf dekhe baghair kamra chhod diya.

Shaam ke saat baj chuke the. Andhera cha gaya tha. Street lights jal chuki thi aur
neon signs apne advertisements dikhane lage the. Sadak par traffic bhaari thi. Yeh
woh sadak thi jahan dono taraf clinics aur hospitals the. Usne woh waqt yaad kiya jab
usne yeh umeed rakhi thi ke is sadak par apni clinic hogi; uska naam hospital ke
boards par uske qualifications ke saath hoga—jaise Jalal Ansar ka; jaise auron ka is
sadak par. Sab mumkin tha; sab mumkin tha, sab uske haath mein tha agar usne
aath saal pehle apna ghar na chhoda hota.

Lambi dair tak woh hospital ke bahar khari rahi, traffic ko dekhti rahi, uska zehan
khaali tha. Woh saaf soch nahi sakti thi; uska agla qadam kya hona chahiye?

Usne hospital ki taraf wapas mud kar dekha. Usne flashing neon sign dekha jo
building ki façade par Dr Jalal Ansar ka naam dikhara tha.

"Tum shayad bohot achi ladki ho lekin tumhara naam kharab ho chuka hai." Jalal ke
alfaaz uske kaanon mein goonj rahe the.

Pehli dafa usne mehsoos kiya ke usne apni zindagi ek dhoka mein guzar di. Uska
Jalal ke liye pyaar ek tarfa tha. Jalal ne kabhi usse pyaar nahi kiya—na aath saal
pehle, na ab. Usne uski zaroorat thi, usse woh sab kuch chahiye tha jo woh usay de

461
sakti thi—uska khandani pas-e-manzar, society mein uske gharane ka muqam aur
asar, uske taluqaat aur daulat—sab kuch jo woh shaadi karke haasil kar sakta tha. Ek
hi chalang mein woh city ke elite ke saath mil jaata. Aur woh...woh is khayal mein
jeeti rahi ke usne usse pyaar kiya tha. Usne yeh umeed nahi ki thi ke woh uske
character par shak karega. Usne itna yaqeen tha ke woh manega ke jo kuch bhi usne
kiya, usne kabhi ghalat raasta nahi chuna; lekin woh phir bhi apni assumption mein
ghalat thi. Uske liye woh ek badnaam ladki thi, jis ke liye uske paas koi alfaaz nahi
the apne ghar walon aur doston ke samne uski hifazat ke liye.

Jab usne aath saal pehle apna ghar chhoda tha, usay pata tha ke log uske character
par ilzam lagayenge. Usay maloom tha ke woh ek aise raaste ka intekhab kar rahi hai
jo kanton se bhara hoga, jahan zehreeli zubanein aur tanzeeya nigaahein uska
peecha karengi, lekin usne kabhi nahi socha tha ke Jalal Ansar un logon mein se
hoga jo uspar ilzam lagayenge. Usne kabhi Jalal Ansar ke samne apni safai dene ka
irada nahi kiya. Woh kaise kar sakti thi? Uske alfaaz ne pehli dafa aath saal mein usay
waqai mein ek outcast bana diya tha. Usne usay sehra ke jalte hue ret par phenk diya
tha.

“Toh yeh hai tumhari asal haqiqat Imama Hashim. Ek badnaam aurat. Tumhare apne
bare mein kya khayalat the?”

Dheere dheere usne sadak par chalna shuru kiya, har hoarding, har neon sign ko
parhti hui. Usay yahan bohot se naam maloom the. Kuch uske class mates the, kuch
uske juniors, aur kuch uske seniors. Aur woh kahan thi? Kahin bhi nahi!

“Dekho Imama, tumhara kya banega. Tumhe kuch nahi milega; tumhe kuch hasil nahi
hoga,” uske walid, Hashim Mubeen, ne usay warn kiya tha. Usne apne gaalon par
aansuon ko behte mehsoos kiya. Chamakti hui roshni uski aankhon ko chubhne lagi
thi. Jalal Ansar bura insaan nahi tha, lekin woh waisa bhi nahi tha jaisa usne socha
tha. Woh waisa nahi tha jo usay apni taraf khenchta tha. Kitni dhoka bhari zindagi
mein jee rahi thi, jabke uski aankhein khuli thi.

Uska nazariya bilkul materialistic tha, bilkul materialistic. Lekin yeh pehli dafa usay
ahsas hua tha. Woh bura insaan nahi tha; bas uska nazariya aisa tha aur woh us
nazariye ke mutabiq zindagi guzar raha tha. Aaj usne apne nazariye ko uske samne
khol kar rakh diya tha. Jab se usne apna ghar chhoda tha, pehli dafa usay aise zaleel
aur ruswa hona pada tha—aur woh bhi us shakhs se jisne usay idealize kiya tha.

462
Aur woh us mukammal shakhsiyat ki nazar mein kya thi? Ek ladki jo ghar se bhaag
gayi thi...ek badnaam aurat!

Aansuon ka sailab uski aankhon se beh raha tha aur woh sailab sab kuch dho raha
tha. Sab kuch...usne apne haathon se apni aankhon ko zordar ragad kar sukhaya aur
phir apne chador ke kinare se apne aansuon se tar chehre ko poncha. Usne raste se
guzarte ek rickshaw ko roka aur usme baith gayi.

Saeeda Amma ne darwaza khola; usne jaldi se jhuk kar andar ghus gayi taake Saeeda
Amma uska aansuon se bhara chehra na dekh sake.

“Kahan thi tum Imama? Itni der ho gayi hai. Main pareshan thi. Main abhi padosi ke
ladke ko tumhare office bhejne wali thi ke tumhare bare mein pata kare,” Saeeda
Amma ne darwaza band karte hue aur uske kamre tak uska peecha karte hue kaha.

“Kahin nahi Amma. Office mein kaam tha isliye der ho gayi,” Imama ne bina peeche
dekhe jawab diya.

“Tum pehle kabhi office se itni der nahi hui toh aaj aisa kya kaam tha jo itni raat ho
gayi? Kaunsa kaam tha jo itni der tak rok liya?” Saeeda Amma Imama ke jawab se
mutmain nahi thi.

“Amma, mein kya kahoon? Aage se dhyan rakhungi ke itni der na ho,” Imama ne
apna chehra modte hue jawab diya. Woh apne kamre ki taraf barh gayi.

“Kya mein khana garam kar doon ya baad mein khana chaho gi?”

“Mujhe abhi khana nahi khana, Amma. Mera sir dard kar raha hai; mujhe thodi der
sona hai.”

“Tumhara sir kyun dard kar raha hai? Kya mein tumhare liye dawa le aaun? Ya
tumhare liye chai bana dun?”

“Amma! Mujhe sone do. Mujhe kuch nahi chahiye; agar zaroorat hui toh mein tumhe
bulaungi.” Imama ka sir ab sach mein phat raha tha.

Saeeda Amma ko aakhirkaar ehsaas ho gaya ke uski fikr sirf Imama ko aur zyada
takleef de rahi thi. “Theek hai; tum aaram kar lo,” usne kaha aur wapas mud gayi.

Bina light chalu kiye, Imama ne apne kamre ka darwaza band kar diya. Kambal apne
upar khinch kar, apne bistar par let gayi aur apni aankhon ko apne bazoo se dhak
liya. Usne sona tha. Usne Jalal Ansar ke saath apni guftagu ko yaad nahi karna tha,

463
aur na kisi aur cheez ke bare mein sochna tha. Usne rona nahi tha. Usne apne
mustaqbil ke bare mein nahi sochna tha.

Usne sirf sona tha.

Uski khwahish poori ho gayi. Usay nahi pata ke kab ya kaise lekin jaldi hi woh gehri
neend mein chali gayi.

---------------------------

END OF CHAPTER 9

---------------------------

464
 CHAPTER 10

Wo bas us se teen qadam aagay tha. Itna qareeb ke agar wo haath barhati tou us ke
kandhey ko choo sakti thi. Un dono ke siwa koi aur nahi tha. Us ke kandhey ke upar
se wo Khana-e-Kaaba ke darwazay ko khulta dekh sakti thi. Us ne dekhha ke roshni
chaaron taraf phail gayi. Wo Quran ke lafz asaani se parh sakti thi jo Khana-e-Kaaba
ke parday par likhay thay.

Usay aisa mehsoos hua ke aasman ke sitare achanak pehle se ziada chamak rahe
thay.

Us ke saamne jo aadmi tha wo talbiyah parh raha tha, wo pehli ayaat jo tamaam
hajioon ko safar ke aghaz par parhni hoti hain. Us ki awaaz purjosh aur khoobsurat
thi. Us ne bhi un lafzon ko apni dabe hue awaz mein dohrana shuru kiya. Phir us ki
awaaz bhi us ki terhan ho gayi... lekin khamoshi se. Phir us ne bhi buland awaaz mein
parhna shuru kar diya... jab tak usay yeh mehsoos nahi hua ke us ki awaaz us ke se
ziada buland nahi ho sakti. Us ne koshish karna chor diya. Usay apni awaaz us ke
saath milane mein tasalli mehsoos hui.

Khana-e-Kaaba ke darwazay ab khul chuke thay. Us ne dekha ke wo aadmi ja kar

darwazay ke paas khara ho gaya. Us ne apne haath aasman ki taraf uthaye. Wo dua
kar raha tha. Us ne dekha jab tak us ne apni duaein mukammal nahi kar leen aur
apne haath neeche nahi kar liye. Ab wo Khana-e-Kaaba ke darwazay ke saamne sajda
kar raha tha. Us ne dekha. Wo uth raha tha aur mur kar dekh raha tha. Usay us ka
chehra dekhna tha. Us ki awaaz jaan-pehchaan ki thi... lekin chehra? Ab wo murna hi
wala tha.

**--------------------**

Wo ikdam uth gayi. Kamra mukammal andhere mein tha. Chand lamho ke liye usay
aisa mehsoos hua ke wo apne khwab ko jee rahi hai, ke wo ab bhi Khana-e-Kaaba

465
mein hai, phir wo haqiqat mein wapas aa gayi. Wo bistar se utar kar roshni jalane
gayi aur phir wapas aa kar let gayi. Usay apna khwab poora yaad tha; aisa lagta tha
jaise us ne ek film dekhi ho. Lekin wo us aadmi ka chehra nahi dekh payi thi. Wo
jaagne se pehle mur gaya tha.

"Jalal Ansar ke siwa itni khoobsurat awaaz aur kis ki ho sakti hai?" us ne socha.

Us ke khwab mein jo aadmi tha wo lamba tha, aur us ke kandhey aur haath - jo
ahram se bahar thay - gore thay, jabke Jalal Ansar sanwla tha.

Lekin awaaz itni pehchaani si thi. Kya yeh Jalal Ansar ki awaaz thi ya kisi aur ki?

Wo samajh nahi paayi.

Khwab ajeeb tha; us ka sar ka dard khatam ho gaya tha aur usay bepanah sukoon
mehsoos ho raha tha. Us ne deewar par lagay ghari ko dekha; raat ke 1 baj rahe
thay. Usay yaad aaya ke us ne raat ko sohne se pehle Isha ki namaz nahi padhi thi.
Us ne na kapray badlay thay, na wazu kiya tha. Us ne kapray badlay aur apne kamray
se bahar aa gayi. Saeeda Amma ka kamra andhere mein tha. Wo so rahi thi. Ghar
mukammal khamoshi mein tha. Sehan mein ek roshni jal rahi thi aur us ki roshni ne
ek narmi bhari dhund bana di thi. Lal eent ki deewar pe charhi hari bailain bilkul
sakoon se thi. Usay wazu karne ke liye sehan ke doosri taraf ke bathroom jana tha;
magar us ne verandah ke sutun ke paas baith gayi. Apni sweater ki aasteen upar
karte hue, us ne apne kameez ki button khole aur aasteen chadhai. Raat thandi thi
aur usay ek jhatka mehsoos hua. Us ne wahin baith kar bailon ko dekha. Us ne Jalal
Ansar aur us raat jo kuch hua socha. Us ki awaaz ab bhi us ke zehen mein goonj rahi
thi, lekin ab usay aansoo nahi aaye.

"Mujhe meri tanhai mein bas tum hi ne sahaara diya— Tum na hote tou main kab ka
mar gaya hota."

"Jab andhera, pa par ke rooh par chha jata hai, Tumhari roshni phir ziada roshan ho
jati hai."

"Koi cheez tumhare banday ko badshahon se nahi chahiye Us ka maal tumhare

qadamoon ki raig mein hai."

Imama ne ek udaas muskurahat ki. Pichlay aath saal se ek hi awaaz aur yehhi alfaaz
us ke zehen mein goonj rahay thay... aur phir kal raat... wo khwab aur wo awaaz
talbiyah parhti hui. Usay phir se yaad aaya.

466
"Labbayk Allahumma Labbayk, Labbayk La Sharika Laka Labbayk. Innal-Hamda Wan-
Ni'mata Laka wal-Mulk, La Sharika Lak."

Wo awaaz pehchani si thi, aik jaan-pehchaan si awaaz... lekin kis ki? Wo Jalal Ansar
ke siwa kisi aur ki awaaz nahi janti thi. Us ne apni aankhein band kar ke khwab ke
tamaam tafseelat ko yaad kiya. Multazim ka maqam, Khana-e-Kaaba ke khulay
darwazay, Khana-e-Kaaba ke parde par chamakte Quran ke lafz, sukoon bhari sitaron
se bhari raat, Khana-e-Kaaba ke darwazay se nikli hui roshni aur wo aadmi—sajda
karte hue, talbiyah parhta hua. Imama ne apni aankhein kholi. Wo sehan mein dhund
se ghiray hue baithi thi, us aadmi ke raaz ko sochti hui. Usay yaad tha ke us ne
khwab mein us aadmi ke kandhey pe aik bharam ka nishan dekha tha. Usay hairani
thi ke wo itne tafseel se khwab ko yaad kar sakti thi— kuch aisa jo usay pehle kabhi
yaad nahi tha. Yeh us ke zindagi ka pehla mauqa tha ke us ne Khana-e-Kaaba ko
dekha tha aur wahin baithi, us ne yeh tamanna ki ke wo Masjid-e-Nabvi mein bhi
hoti, aur Holy Prophet (PBUH) ke mazaar ke samne khadi hoti aur masjid mein sirf
wo hoti. Usay yeh maloom nahi ke wo wahan kab tak baithi rahi jab tak Saeeda
Amma tahajjud ki namaz ke liye uth ke bahar nahi aayi. Usay dekh ke hairaan ho
gayi.

"Sir ka dard kaisa hai?" us ne nazdeek aake poocha.

"Chala gaya." Imama ne apna sir jhuka liya.

"Kal raat tum bina khana khaye so gayi thi," Saeeda Amma ne Imama ke paas
thanday farsh pe baithte hue kaha. Imama khamosh rahi. Saeeda Amma garam shawl
mein lipti hui thi. Imama ne apna sir us ke kandhay par rakh diya. Shawl ki garmi us
ke sard, sun ho chuke chehre par ek ajeeb sa sukoon la rahi thi. "Tumhe shadi kar
leni chahiye Amina," Saeeda Amma ne kaha. Imama ne apna chehra shawl mein
chhupa liya. Yeh pehli dafa nahi tha ke Saeeda Amma ne shadi ka mawzoo uthaya
tha. Pehle wo hamesha khamosh rehti thi; aaj us ne khamoshi tor di, "Aap karwa
dein, Amma." Saeeda Amma hairan reh gayi. "Waqai?" "Ji." Imama ne apna sir Saeeda
Amma ke kandhay se utha liya.

"Tum kisi ko chahte ho?" Saeeda Amma ne poocha.

Imama ne sehan ke farsh ko ghur kar dekha. "Kya main kisi ko chahti hoon? Nahi.
Main kisi ko nahi chahti," Imama ne kaha aur apna chehra phir se Saeeda Amma ke
shawl mein chhupa liya. Saeeda Amma ne us ki awaaz mein aansoo mehsoos kiye.

467
"Jab tumhari shadi ho jayegi, main apne beton ke paas England chali jaungi," us ne
Imama ka sar thapthapate hue kaha. Usay mehsoos hua ke Imama ro rahi thi. Kuch
kehne se pehle, Imama ne apna chehra shawl mein chhupa liya.

"Amina, kya baat hai? Tum theek ho, beti?" us ne fikrmandi se poocha.

Imama ne jawab nahi diya. Wo Saeeda Amma se lipat gayi aur dil khol kar royi.

"Kya baat hai Amina. Khuda ke liye kuch bolo," Saeeda Amma ab waqai pareshan thi.

"Kuch nahi Amma; bas... sar ka dard hai." Saeeda Amma ne usay utha kar us ka
chehra apne aasteen se saaf kiya. Us ne Saeeda Amma ki aankhon mein dekhne se
inkar kar diya. Usay fikarmand chorh kar, wo bathroom ki taraf chal pari.

Saeeda Amma pehli shakhs nahi thi jis ne us se shadi ka zikar kiya tha. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali
ne bhi us se yeh mawzoo uthaya tha jab us ne apni taleem mukammal ki thi. Is ke
bawajood ke wo azad thi shadi karne ke liye, us ne Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ko taal diya. "Mujhe
kuch arsa kaam karne dein, phir main shadi kar lungi," us ne Dr. Sibt-e-Ali se kaha
tha. Us ke zehen ke peechay yeh baat thi ke us ki shadi Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke liye ek
mazeed kharcha ban jayegi. Us ne socha tha ke wo kuch arsa kaam kar ke apne
kharche ke liye paisa ikattha kar sakti hai; magar us ne yeh sab kuch Dr. Sibt-e-Ali se
nahi kaha jab us ne kaam karne ki ijazat maangi. Wo kuch saal aur kaam karti agar
Jalal Ansar ke alfaaz usay takleef nahi dete. Imama ko yeh nahi pata tha ke Saeeda
Amma ne us ke tabaduli ke bare mein Dr. Sibt-e-Ali se baat ki thi ya nahi, magar us
ne foran sehlon aur unke gharano mein rishta dhundna shuru kar diya. Us ne Fahd
ko pasand kiya.

Fahd aik company mein senior maqam par kaam karta tha; us ki achi shohrat thi. Us
ke walidain Imama se milne aaye aur foran usay pasand kar liya. Jab unhon ne
Imama ke liye rishta bheja, tab Saeeda Amma ne Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ko is bare mein
bataya. Wo is rishtay se zyada khush nahi thay. Shayad wo ab bhi Imama ko apne
ghar walay mein shadi karwana chahte thay lekin Saeeda Amma ne Fahd aur us ke
ghar walon ki buhat tareef ki aur akhirkar Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ko razi kar liya. Unhon ne us
khandan aur Fahd se khud mil ke tahqiqat ki. Jab wo jo suna aur dekha us se
mutmaeen ho gaye, to unhon ne is shadi ki razaamandi de di.

Jab rishta manzoor ho gaya, to Fahd ke ghar walon ne kaha ke wo aik saal intizaar
karenge shadi ke liye; lekin kuch mahine baad unhon ne zor dena shuru kar diya ke

468
shadi foran ho jaye. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali kisi kaam se England mein thay jab Fahd ke ghar
walon ke israr par Saeeda Amma ne shadi ki tareekh tai kar di. Us ne Dr. Sibt-e-Ali
ko tamaam developments se mutala kya lekin unhon ne mashwara diya ke tareekh
tai karne se pehle kuch dair intizaar karein, magar Saeeda Amma ne apni baat
manwa li. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ko is baat ka afsos tha ke wo shadi ke liye maujood nahi ho
sakein lekin unhon ne apni biwi, Kulsoom, ko festivities mein shamil hone bhej diya.

Shadi ki tamaam tayyariyan Aunty Kulsoom aur Mariam ne ki, jo Rawalpindi se aayi
thi jahan wo ab shaadi shuda aur abaad thi. Jab tareekh tai ho gayi, Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne
London se Imama ko call ki aur tafseel se baat ki. Un ki teenon betiyan unke apne
extended family mein shadi shuda thi; in-laws ne kabhi bhi jahiz ka mutalba nahi
kiya. Lekin Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne apni har beti ko shadi ke liye maqool miqdaar mein
nagad paisay diye thay jo jahiz ke badle the.

"Jab tum mere ghar aaye 8 saal pehle, aur maine tumhe apni beti kaha, maine
tumhari shadi ke kharche ke liye kuch paisay rakhe thay. Yeh paisay tumhare hain.
Tum chaaho to inhein nagad tohfa ke taur par le sakti ho ya mai Kulsoom aur
Mariam ko de sakta hoon taa ke yeh tumhari zaruratein khareedne ke liye istemaal
kiye jayein. Kyun ke Saeeda Amma ne itna israr kiya, tumhari shadi uske ghar se ho
rahi hai, halaanke yeh meri khwahish thi ke tumhari shadi mere ghar se ho - tumhare
apne ghar se."

Unhon ne kaha, "Mujhe buhat afsos hai ke main apni chauthi beti ki shadi mein
shamil nahi ho sakta, lekin shayad yeh behtari ke liye hai. Mai apni puri koshish
karunga ke kisi tarah wahan pohanch sakoon aur agar last moment par bhi aa saka
to aa jaunga, lekin mujhe shak hai ke mai yeh kar sakoon."

Imama ne Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ke bolte waqt khamoshi ikhtiyar ki. Us ne paisay offer karne
par koi ehtiraz nahi kiya, aur na yeh israr kiya ke wo apne paisay apni shadi par
kharch karne dein. Shayad aaj usay kisi aur ke zimmedari chahiye thi. Us din wo ek
aur ehsaan lena chahti thi. Unhon ne us ke saath itna acha bartao kiya tha ke wo
unke ehsanon ki aadat si ho gayi thi. Usay sirf yeh shikayat thi ke wo uski shadi mein
shaamil nhi ho payenge.

--------------------------

469
Fahd ke ghar walon ne israr kiya ke shadi ek sadgi se ki jaye. Imama ko is par koi
aitraaz nahi tha; asal mein, yeh hi us ki apni bhi khwahish thi. Jo wo nahi janti thi wo
yeh tha ke Fahd ke ghar walon ke paas shadi ko sadgi se karne ka ek chhupa
maqasad tha.

Shadi ki qasamain mehndi ki raat leni thi. Nikah ki asal rasm se chand ghantay pehle,
Fahd ke ghar walon ne Saeeda Amma ko yeh bataya ke qasamain shadi ke din li
jayein gi. Is tabaduli se Saeeda Amma ko koi parwaah nahi hui. Unhein bilkul
andaaza nahi tha ke Fahd ki taraf se kuch galat hai. Mehndi ki rasm khud mukammal
nahi thi aur sirf qareebi rishtedaar aur padosi shamil thay. Nikah ke liye tayar ki gayi
dawat mehndi mein shamil hone walon ne enjoy ki. Shadi khud Saeeda Amma ke
ghar par hone thi. Dulhe ke ghar walon ko 4 bajay aana tha aur rukhsati 6 bajay
hone thi. Magar shadi ki barat ke aane se aik ghanta pehle, ek paigham rasool dulhe
ke ghar se aaya ke Fahd kuch dinon se ghayab hai aur unhein afsos hai ke shadi nahi
ho sakti.

Us dopahar tak Imama ko bilkul pata nahi tha ke kya ho raha hai. Dulhan ka joda
pehle hi dulhe ke ghar se aa gaya tha aur Imama ne kapray badal liye thay aur
kareeb kareeb tayar thi jab Mariam kamray mein aayi. Us ka chehra udaas tha. Us ne
Imama se kaha ke apne aam kapray pehen le kyun ke Fahd ke ghar mein kisi ki
wafat ho gayi thi aur unhon ne shadi ko multawi karne ko kaha. Us ne Imama ko yeh
nahi bataya ke asal mein shadi poori tarah se cancel ho gayi thi. Imama se baat
karne ke baad, Mariam foran kamray se bahar chali gayi. Imama ne apne shadi ke
kapray utaar diye. Chand lamhon ke liye, us ne Mariam ki kahani maan li magar dil
se wo janti thi ke kuch galat hai. Jab wo apne kamray se bahar aayi, mehmaanon ke
chehron pe bechaini dekh kar usay poora qissa samajh aa gaya. Wo Saeeda Amma
ke kamray mein gayi. Wahan bohot saare log jama thay. Kulsoom Aunty, Maimoona,
Noor ul Ain Apa, pados ki auratein, Mariam aur Saeeda Amma... Mariam Saeeda
Amma ko paani ka glass de rahi thi jo lag raha tha ke kisi waqt gir jayengi. Imama ek
lamhe ke liye ghabra gayi. Kya Saeeda Amma theek hain? Kamray mein sab auratein
usay dekh rahi thi. Maimoona Apa foran us ke paas aayi. "Amina, bahar aao thodi
dair ke liye," us ne Imama ka haath pakad kar kaha.

470
"Amma ko kya hua?" Imama ne Maimoona Apa ko paray kar diya. Wo Saeeda Amma
ke paas baith gayi. "Amma ko kya hua?" us ne Mariam se gusse mein poocha.

Mariam ne jawab nahi diya. Saeeda Amma ka chehra aansoo se bhig chuka tha. Us
ne Imama ko na samajhne wali nigahon se dekha. Phir glass ko paray rakh kar, us ne
Imama ko gale laga kar zor zor se rone lagi. Kamra khali ho gaya tha. Sirf Dr. Sibt-e-
Ali ka khandan reh gaya tha.

"Amma, kya baat hai? Mujhe batayein," Imama ne Saeeda Amma ko dheere se bolne
par majboor kiya.

"Fahd, apne ghar walon ko bataye bagair, apni marzi se shadi kar chuka hai. Unke
ghar walon ne abhi hamen aake bataya. Unhon ne yeh rishta poori tarah se khatam
kar diya hai," Mariam ne dheere se Saeeda Amma ki jagah jawab diya.

Kuch seconds ke liye Imama bilkul bejaan si ho gayi... us ke ragon mein khoon, us ka
dil ki dhadkan, us ka saans... sab kuch ek dil kharaash lamhe ke liye ruk gaya. "Kya
yeh bhi mere naseeb mein likha tha?" us ne socha. "Koi baat nahi Amma. Mat
royein," Imama ne dheere se kaha, Saeeda Amma ke aansoo saaf karte hue. Us ka dil
phir se dhadakne laga tha, khoon us ki ragon mein phir se daud raha tha, wo phir se
saans le sakti thi... sirf us ke chehre ka rang wapas nahi aaya tha. "Amma fikr na
karein. Sab theek ho jayega." Imama ke alfaaz se Saeeda Amma aur bhi zor se rone
lagi. "Sab meri galti hai... sab meri..." Imama ne Saeeda Amma ko apni baat
mukammal karne nahi di. "Chhodiye Amma. Koi baat nahi. Fikr mat karein... kyun na
aap let jayein... thoda aram kar lein..." wo apni puri koshish kar rahi thi ke Saeeda
Amma ko tasalli de. Saeeda Amma tasalli lenay ko tayar nahi thi. "Main samajh sakti
hoon ke aap kya mehsoos kar rahi hain... main aapka dard mehsoos karti hoon, meri
beti. Mujhe maaf kar do Amina. Yeh meri galti hai..." "Main theek hoon Amma; main
theek hoon," Imama muskurayi, Saeeda Amma ko sakoon dene ki koshish karte hue.
Saeeda Amma ronte hue kamray se bahar chali gayi.

Bagair kisi se kuch kahe, Imama bhi kamray se nikal gayi. Wo apne kamray mein
gayi; saari cheezein wahan isi tarah bikhri hui thi jese wo chor kar gayi thi. Khamoshi
se us ne kamra saaf karna shuru kiya. Kisi bhi ladki ki jagah par koi bhi hoti tou is
halat mein toot jaati, magar Imama ajeeb tareeke se pur-sukoon thi. "Agar main Jalal
ko kho kar maan sakti hoon, tou yeh mujh par asar kyun kare? Mera is aadmi se koi
jazbati ya jismani lagao nahi tha," us ne apne aap se kaha, apna shadi ka joda fold

471
karte hue aur rakhte hue. "Mujhe sabse zyada kya bura ho sakta hai? Log baatein
karenge, mera mazak udayenge; main unhein taal lungi, unki nigahon se bachne ke
liye apna sir jhuka lungi. Is mein mere liye naya kya hai?"

Mariam kamray mein aayi aur safai mein madad karne lagi. "Humne Abbu ko phone
kar liya hai," us ne kaha.

Pehli dafa Imama ko ghussa aya. "Kyun? Unhein kyun pareshan kiya. Unhein araam
karne dein." "Yeh itni badi musibat hai aur tum..." Imama ne uski baat kaat di.
"Mariam, mujhe apni zindagi mein itni musibatein sehni padi hain ke ab aadat ho
gayi hai. Yeh sab kuch us se kuch nahi hai jo mujhe sehna pada. Jaake Saeeda Amma
ko tasalli do. Main theek hoon. Aur Abbu ko bekaar mein pareshan mat karo; wo
fazool mein pareshan honge." Mariam ne dekha ke Imama tasalli se cheezein rakh
rahi thi; usay Imama ka bartao ajeeb lag raha tha. Jab tak wo jawab de, Kulsoom
Aunty aur Saeeda Amma kamray mein aayi. Larkiyan hairan reh gayi dekh kar ke
unke chehre khushi se chamak rahe thay jabke chand mint pehle wo aansoo bahaa
rahi thi. Jab tak wo kuch samajh sakein, Kulsoom Aunty Salar ke bare mein baat
karne lagi.

"Agar tumhein aitraaz na ho, tou tum Salar se shadi kar sakti ho."

Imama dair reh gayi. "Sibt-e-Ali unhein achi tarah se jaante hain," us ne kaha. "Wo
bohot ache ladke hain."

"Agar Abbu ko manzoor hai tou mujhe koi aitraaz nahi hai. Mujhe koi aitraaz nahi,"
Imama ne jawab diya.

"Unka dost tum se pehle kuch baat karna chahta hai," Kulsoom Aunty ne ek ajeeb
guzarish ki. Imama ko is ajeeb guzarish par hairani hui, magar us ne Furqan se milne
se koi aitraaz nahi kiya.

"Aath ya nau saal pehle, Salar ne apni marzi se ek larki se shadi ki thi," Furqan ne
Imama se kaha. "Wo tumse shadi karne ko tayar hai lekin wo kehta hai ke tumhein
yeh pata hona chahiye ke wo apni pehli biwi ko talaaq nahi dega. Kuch wajuhat hain
ke larki uske saath nahi rehti, lekin Salar khud chahta hai ke wo uske ghar rahe. Salar
chahta hai ke main tumse poochhun ke agar tumhein is par koi aitraaz hai tou abhi
batado. Yeh bhi mumkin hai ke wo apni pehli biwi ko dobara kabhi na mile. Pichlay
aath ya nau saalon se usne apne dost se koi rabta nahi kiya. Usay bas ek be-wazeh

472
umeed hai ke wo mil sakte hain. Dr Sibt-e-Ali tumhein apni beti mante hain; is hi
silsile mein tum meri behen ho. Main tumhein mashwara dunga ke tum Salar se
shadi kar lo kyun ke yeh is surat-e-haal ka behtareen hal hai. Yeh bohot mumkin hai
ke Salar apni pehli biwi ko kabhi na mile; us ne us se milne ki koshish nahi ki; us ne
in sab saalon mein us se koi rabta nahi kiya—in sab surat-e-haal mein nau saal ek
lamba arsa hota hai."

Imama ne Furqan ki baat aram se suni. "Doosri biwi... tou Imama Hashim, yeh
tumhara muqaddar hai," us ne talakh mizaj se socha. "Lekin agar Dr. Sibt-e-Ali yeh
sab jaante hue mujhe is shaks se shadi karne ka mashwara de rahe hain, tou zaroor
is mein kuch acha hoga. Waise bhi main Jalal se shadi karne ko tayar thi aur doosri
biwi banne ko bhi, kyun ke mujhe Jalal se mohabbat thi. Toh phir main is shaks ki
doosri biwi kyun na banoon jisse mujhe koi jazbati lagao nahi?"

"Mujhe koi aitraaz nahi," us ne zor se kaha. "Agar uski biwi kabhi wapas aayi, tou
mujhe unke saath rehne par koi aitraaz nahi hoga. Main khushi se in halaat ko maan
leti hoon."

Pandra minute baad usay pehla jhatka laga jab maulvi ne Salar Sikandar ka naam
liya. "Salar Sikandar Ibn-e-Sikandar Usman..." Us ne maulvi ki awaaz suni. Us ki reedh
ki haddi mein ek thandak daud gayi... yeh aam naam nahi thay; aur is silsile mein...
yeh bohot zyada mukammal ittefaq tha ke dono naam kisi aur shaks se jude hon.
Kya yeh mumkin tha ke Salar zinda tha?

Usay mehsoos hua ke duniya uske ird-gird toot rahi thi. Agar uska chehra bridal veil
se dhaka na hota, tou uski pareshani sab ko nazar aa jati. Maulvi apne alfaaz dohra
raha tha. Imama ka zehen chakrana laga. "Agar wo zinda hai tou iska matlab hai ke
main hamesha se us se shadi shuda thi... Hai Allah! Yeh sab kya hai? Dr. Sibt-e-Ali
unhein kaise jaante hain?" Sawalat barish ki tarah baras rahe thay magar jawab koi
nahi tha. Us ne mehsoos kiya ke Saeeda Amma dheere se usay hila rahi hain, "Maulvi
tumhare jawab ka intezar kar raha hai; 'haan' kaho."

"Salar Sikandar jaise shaks ko 'haan' kehna?" Usay mehsoos hua ke uska dil dab raha
tha aur dar usay gher raha tha. Us waqt wo aur kya keh sakti thi magar 'haan'? Ek
shock aur pareshani ki halat mein us ne nikah nama par apna naam likh diya. "Hai
Allah! Koi mojza ho jaye. Yeh wohi Salar Sikandar na ho," us ne Allah se dua ki. Sab

473
log kamray se ja chuke thay. Wo sirf Mariam ke saath thi. Mariam ne uske chehre se
veil hatayi aur uska zard chehra dekha.

"Imama, kya baat hai? Tum theek ho?" "Mariam, sirf ek madad karo," Imama ko khud
nahi pata tha ke wo kya keh rahi thi. Us ne Mariam ka haath ghabrahat mein pakad
liya. "Maine us se shadi kar li hai lekin Saeeda Amma se kehna ke aaj rukhsati nahi
honi chahiye. Jaake Saeeda Amma se kehdo," us ne iltija ki.

"Kyun?" Mariam ne Imama ko dekha; wo uski ghabrahat samajh nahi paayi.

"Barah-e-karam, mujh se abhi koi sawal mat poochho; sirf meri baat suno, barah-e-
karam. Saeeda Amma se kehdo ke aaj mujhe mat bhejo."

Mariam kamray se gayi aur kuch der baad wapas aayi. "Rukhsati aaj nahi ho rahi.
Salar bhi nahi chahta ke aaj ho," us ne Imama ko bataya.

Imama ne kuch aram mehsoos kiya.

"Abbu kuch der mein tumhein phone karenge," Mariam ne usay bataya.

Kuch der baad, jab Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ka phone aaya, Imama aglay kamray mein baat
karne gayi. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne usay shadi ki mubarak di. "Main chahta tha ke tum Salar
se shadi karo, lekin kyun ke tum Saeeda Amma ke ghar mein rehti thi, mujhe laga ke
unki pasand ko ahmiyat deni chahiye," Dr. Sibt-e-Ali keh rahe thay. Imama ko saans
lena mushkil lag raha tha; usay bas yeh karna tha ke wo roye nahi. "Mujhe, lekin, uski
pehli shadi ka pata nahi tha. Furqan ne mujhe abhi bataya. Yeh ek zaroorat ki shadi
thi, magar mujhe tafseel nahi pata—na mujhe yeh zaroori lagta hai ke mujhe tafseel
pata ho. Salar ki pehli shadi sun kar, mujhe laga ke agar mujhe tumhare liye Salar se
behtar koi milta, tou main usay tumhare liye kehta, lekin mujhe koi nahi milta. Tum
itni khamosh kyun ho Amina?" Unhon ne aakhir kar mehsoos kiya ke Imama ghair
mamooli tor par khamosh thi.

"Abbu, aap kab wapas aa rahe hain?" "Ek hafte ya is se zyada mein."

"Mujhe aap se bohot si baatein karni hain. Mujhe bohot kuch batana hai."

"Sab theek hai?" Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ko shakk hone laga.

"Main aap se baat karungi jab aap wapas aayenge," Imama ne qatai taur par kaha.
Usne phone par aur baat nahi karni chahi.

474
-------------------------------

Us raat, woh hamisha ki tarah sone se pehle wudu kar rahi thi. Phir, sone ke bajaye,
woh aangan ki seedhiyon par aake baith gayi. Ghar mein koi mehman nahi tha.
Saeeda Amma aur woh hamesha ki tarah akeli thi.
Din bhar ke kaamon se thaki hui, Saeeda Amma jaldi so gayi thi. Imama aur nokrani
mehmano ke baad safai aur tartib mein der tak masroof rahi.
Shadi ki wajah se, nokrani raat ko ghar mein hi ruk gayi thi. Raat ke 10 baj kar 30
minute ho chuke the jab zyada safai ka kam mukammal ho gaya aur usne nokrani ko
sone bhej diya. Imama khud choti moti baaki cheezon ko mukammal karne mein lagi
rahi. Raat ke 12 baj chuke the jab usne apne kaam khatam kiye. Woh thak gayi thi.
Aangan se guzarti hui, usne apne kamre mein jane ka dil nahi chaha aur baramde
mein ja kar baith gayi. Aangan ki halki roshni mein usne apne haath dekhe, jo kohni
tak khoobsurat gahre laal mehndi se bhare hue the. Imama ko hamesha se mehndi
pasand thi. Apne walid ke ghar chhodne se pehle, aath saal pehle, woh aksar mehndi
lagati thi, na sirf tyoharon par balke jab bhi uska dil chahta. Magar apne ghar se
nikalne ke baad usne kabhi mehndi nahi lagayi thi. Baghair kisi irade ke, uska dil aise
shauqon se ucht gaya tha. Ab pehli baar aath saal baad, usne khushi se apne haath
aur paon mehndi se sajaye the.
Apni shawl ko zor se lapet kar, usne apne haath aur paon ko shawl mein chhupa liya
aur isay mazid qareeb kar liya.

"Asjad se Jalal...Jalal se Fahd...Fahd se Salar...ek ko main ne inkar kiya, do ne mujhe

inkar kiya...aur chautha, jo meri zindagi ka hissa ban gaya...woh sabse bura hai...Salar
Sikandar."

Usne apne andar ek dhund mehsoos ki; woh usay apne samne khada tasavvur kar
sakti thi. Wohi soorat—kameez kamar tak khuli hui, gale mein latakate zanjeer,
baalon ko ponytail mein bandh rakha, thandak bhari takabur se bhari nigah, woh
bekaar muskurahat jo uske gaal mein aik dimpal bana deti thi, kalaiyon par latakte
bands aur bracelets, woh tang jeans—aisa tha jaise duniya ka sabse khoobsurat
khwab ek kabus ban gaya ho. Usay Salar Sikandar ki zara bhi izzat nahi thi.

475
"Mujhe maloom hai maine apni zindagi mein bohot ghalatiyan ki hain, lekin main itni
buri insaan nahi hoon ke mujhe tumhare jese admi se saza milay," usne saalon pehle
Salar se phone par kaha tha.

"Shayad isi liye Jalal ne tumse shadi karne se inkar kar diya; ache log ache logon ke
liye hote hain, tumhari jesi auraton ke liye nahi," Salar ne jawab diya tha.

Usne Salar ke be-reham rawaiye ko yaad karte hue apni hont band kar liye.

"Jo bhi ho Salar, main tumhare saath nahi rahungi. Yeh kitna behtar hota agar tum
mar gaye hote," usne bura bhala kaha.

Woh bilkul bhool gayi thi ke ek waqt tha jab Salar Sikandar ne uski madad ki thi.

-----------------------------------

Raat ko Dr Sibt-e-Ali jab England se wapas aaye, Imama unke ghar thi lekin usne
unse baat karne ka munasib waqt nahi paaya. Mariam abhi bhi Lahore mein thi aur
waqt choti choti guftagu mein guzarta raha. Agle subah bhi isi tarah guzri.

Dr Sibt-e-Ali Imama ko unke aur Salar ke liye laaye gaye tohfein bata rahe the jab
Mariam ne kaha, ''Chalo Salar bhai ko iftar ke liye bula lete hain.''

Dr Sibt-e-Ali ne socha ke yeh achi baat hai aur foran Salar ko daawat de di. Imama
abhi bhi kuch nahi keh rahi thi.

Dopahar ko jab Dr Sibt-e-Ali namaz ke liye masjid ja rahe the, Imama unke saath
bahar aayi. ''Mujhe aapse baat karni hai, Abbu,'' usne dheere se kaha.

''Abhi? '' Dr Sibt-e-Ali ne hairaan hotay hue kaha.

''Nahi, baad mein jab aap namaz se ghar wapas aayenge.'' Dr Sibt-e-Ali ne uski taraf
ghoor ke dekha; phir bina kuch kahe masjid chalay gaye.

------------------------

476
"Main Salar se talaaq lena chahti hoon." Dr. Sibt-e-Ali masjid se wapas aaye the aur
Imama ne unka peecha karte hue study mein dakhil hui thi. Bina kisi muqaddima ya
wazahat ke, usne apne dil ki baat keh di.

"Amina?" Woh apni kaanon par yaqeen nahi kar sake.

"Main uske saath nahi reh sakti." Usne farsh ki taraf dekhte hue kaha, aankhon mein
aankhen milane se inkaar karte hue.

"Amina, mujhe pata hai ke yeh uski doosri shaadi hai lekin pehli shaadi ka koi hisaab
nahi. Furqan ne mujhe bataya ke uski pehli biwi nau saal pehle gayab hui thi aur tab
se uska koi ata pata nahi. Waise bhi, woh asal shaadi nahi thi; unhone sirf nikah kiya
tha." Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne samjha ke uska concern Salar ki pehli shaadi tha. "Kaun jaane
woh kahan hai. Nau saal bohat lambi muddat hai."

"Mujhe uski pehli biwi ka pata hai." Usne ab bhi apni aankhein nahi uthayi.

"Tum usko jaanti ho?" Dr. Sibt-e-Ali hairaan ho gaye.

"Woh main hoon." Usne farsh se apni aankhein utha kar seedha unki taraf dekha.

Dr. Sibt-e-Ali be-hosh se ho gaye.

"Tumhe yaad hai nau saal pehle main Islamabad se Lahore ek larke ke saath aayi thi;
baad mein tumne bataya ke mere ghar walon ne uske khilaf police mein case darj
karaya tha."

"Salar Sikandar... kya yeh wahi aadmi hai?"

"Jee, wahi." Imama ne sar hilaya. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali shock mein lag rahe the. Unka pehla
ta'aruf Salar se Furqan ke zariye hua tha. Yeh char saal baad hua jab Imama unke
ghar mein aayi thi; unhone kabhi socha bhi nahi tha ke is shakhs ka Imama ke saath
koi ta'alluq ho sakta hai. Char saal pehle bas ek naam suna tha jo char saal baad
milne wale shakhs se juda nahi ho sakta. Aur waise bhi yeh shakhs mazhabi tha: usne
Quran hifz kar rakha tha.

Na baat cheet mein, na adaaon mein, na kirdar mein, Salar mein woh ajeeb
khasiyatein thi jo Imama ne Salar ke baare mein bayan ki thi. Unhe Salar ne dhoka
diya, lekin yeh unka asli qasoor tha ya kuch taqdeer ka khel?

477
"To nau saal pehle tumne usse shaadi ki thi?" Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ab bhi is halat par yakeen
nahi kar pa rahe the aur jo suna tha uska tasdeeq kar rahe the.

"Humne sirf nikah kiya tha," Imama ne dheemi awaaz mein kaha. Phir jaldi se usne
saari kahani bayan kar di. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali chup chaap sunte rahe. Woh kaafi dair tak
khamosh rahe phir bole, "Tumhe mujh par bharosa karna chahiye tha Imama. Main
tumhari madad kar sakta tha."

Imama ki aankhein ansuon se bhar gayi. "Aap theek kehte hain. Haan, mujhe karna
chahiye tha, lekin aap tasavvur bhi nahi kar sakte ke un dinon mein main kis zehni
aziyat se guzar rahi thi. Shayad yeh imtihan bhi meri taqdeer ka hissa tha." Usne apni
baat par kuch dair ghoor kiya phir aansuon se bhari aankhon se Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ki taraf
muskurahat ke saath dekha, "Lekin ab sab theek hai. Aap meri talaaq mein madad
karenge."

"Nahi. Main tumhari talaaq mein madad nahi kar sakta, Amina. Main hi ne yeh shaadi
arrange ki thi."

"Wohi to main keh rahi hoon ke aap hi is talaaq ko arrange karein."

"Lekin kyun? Kyun main tumhari talaaq mein madad karoon?"

"Kyun? Kyun ke... kyun ke woh acha aadmi nahi hai... kyun ke main apni zindagi aise
aadmi ke saath nahi guzarna chahti... hum do alag alag duniyaon ke log hain." Uska
hosla toot raha tha.

"Main ne kabhi Allah se shikayat nahi ki, Abbu. Main ne hamesha apni taqdeer ko
qabool kiya, lekin ab mujhe Allah se shikayat hai. Mujhe sab se bura aadmi diya
gaya." Uski aankhon se aansuon ki dhara behne lagi. "Zyada ladkiyan bohot kuch
chahti hain... main ne kabhi Allah se kuch nahi manga siwaye ek 'saleh' aadmi ke aur
mujhe yeh bhi nahi mila. Kya main ek ache aadmi ke laayak nahi?"

"Amina, woh ek saleh aadmi hai."

"Aap yeh kyun kehte hain? Mujhe pata hai ke woh aisa nahi hai. Main usko achi
tarah se jaanti hoon aur woh acha nahi hai."

"Lekin woh hai Amina, main bhi usko achi tarah se jaanta hoon."

"Aap usko mere jitna qareeb se nahi jaante. Woh sharab peeta hai, woh zehni tor par
beemaar hai, aur kai baar apni jaan lene ki koshish kar chuka hai. Woh apne kapde

478
peeth se neeche tak khule rakhta hai aur aurton ko ghoor ke dekhta hai, nazar
jhukaane ke bajaye—kya aap isse saleh kehte hain?"

"Imama, mujhe uske mazi ka pata nahi. Jo main jaanta hoon woh yeh hai ke aaj ke
dor mein woh yeh sab nahi karta."

"Abbu, aap yeh kaise keh sakte hain ke woh aisa nahi karta? Woh ek makkaar jhoota
hai, ek dhokebaz—main usko jaanti hoon."

"Woh aisa nahi hai."

"Lekin woh hai, Abbu!"

"Yeh mumkin hai ke usne tumse muhabbat ki ho aur us muhabbat ne usko badal
diya ho."

"Mujhe aise pyar ki zaroorat nahi. Uska chehra mujhe ghin dilata hai. Uska kapdon ka
tarteeb mujhe ghin dilata hai. Main aise aadmi se pyar nahi kar sakti. Aise log kabhi
nahi badalte; woh bas apne asli chehre ko chhupate hain."

"Woh Salar ke liye sach nahi hai. Woh natak nahi kar raha."

"Abbu main aise aadmi ke saath nahi reh sakti. Uske liye sab kuch mazaak hai—
mazhab, zindagi, auratein—aisa kya hai jise woh mazah ka nishana nahi bana sakta?
Usne meri mazhabi tabdeeli ko ek bewaqoofi samjha; uske liye mazhab aur mazhabi
masail par baat karna waqt ka zaya hai. Woh ek shakhs hai jiske liye khudkushi karna
sirf ek tajurba tha agle level ka suroor maapne ka. Uske liye zindagi ka asli ma'ni sirf
madyahiyat hai. Maan liya ke woh mujhse muhabbat karta hai, kya main apni shaadi
sirf pyar par adharit karoon? Nahi main aisa nahi kar sakti."

"Imama, usne is ittefaaqi rishte ko aath saal se zyada barqarar rakha hai. Tumhare
mazhabi raghbat ko samajhne ke bawajood usne tumhare saath wafadari nibhai hai
aur ab bhi tumhare saath apni zindagi basana chahta hai. Kya yeh mumkin nahi ke is
khwahish ne usme, uske soch mein tabdeeli le aayi ho?"

"Main uske saath zindagi guzarna nahi chahti. Main uske saath nahi rahoongi,"
Imama ziddi thi. "Mujhe talaaq maangne ka poora haq hai."

"Lekin Imama, kya tumne socha hai ke Allah ne is aadmi ko tumhare samne do
martaba rakha hai? Tumne do dafa nikah kiya aur dono martaba usi aadmi se."

479
"Shayad maine gunaah kiya hai aur mujhe iski saza mil rahi hai," uski awaaz aansuon
se bhar gayi.

"Amina, maine kabhi tumhe ziddi nahi dekha, ab tumhe kya ho gaya hai?" Dr. Ali
sach mein hairan the.

"Agar aap mujhe Salar se shaadi qaim rakhne par majboor karte hain, to main aapki
baat maan loongi; aap mere saath itne meherban rahe hain ke main aapki baat nahi
taal sakti. Lekin main apni marzi se uske saath rehne ko tayyar nahi hoon. Mujhe is
baat mein dilchaspi nahi ke woh kitna taleem yafta hai ya uska kya maqam hai aur
woh mujhe kya de sakta hai. Agar aap mujhe kisi taleem yafta aadmi se, lekin ek
sahih soch wale aadmi se shaadi karne ko kehte, to mujhe koi aitraz na hota... lekin
Salar... woh aik makhi hai jise main nigal nahi sakti. Aap Salar ke baare mein sirf woh
jaante hain jo aapne suna hai. Main uske baare mein woh jaanti hoon jo main ne
dekha hai. Pandrah saal tak woh mera humsaya raha; aap ne usko sirf kuch saalon se
jaane hain."

"Amina, tum jaanti ho ke main tumhe kabhi tumhari marzi ke khilaf kuch karne par
majboor nahi karunga. Agar tum apni marzi aur ikhtiyar se is rishte ko qaim rakhna
chahti ho, to theek hai. Lekin agar sirf mujhe khush karne ke liye, to iski zaroorat
nahi. Mera sirf ek he arzi hai ke tum ek dafa Salar se mil lo; uske baad agar tum phir
bhi yeh shaadi khatam karna chahti ho, to yeh ho jayega." Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne narmi aur
sanjeedgi se kaha.

Is waqt khidmatgar kamre mein aaya aur kaha ke Salar aaya hai. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne
apni ghadi dekhi, phir khidmatgar se kaha ke Salar ko andar bhej do. Khidmatgar
hairan hua.

"Yahan?" usne poocha.

"Haan, yahan," Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne jawab diya.

Imama jaldi se uth gayi. "Main is haalat mein usse baat nahi karna chahti." Uska
ishara apni aansuon se bhari shakal aur bikhray huye haalat ki taraf tha.

"Tumne abhi usko dekha nahi; main chahta hoon ke tum usko dekho," Dr. Sibt-e-Ali
ne narmi se kaha.

"Yahan nahi. Main apne kamre se usko dekh sakti hoon." Usne mur kar apne kamre
ki taraf chali gayi. Kamra aadhi andhere mein tha. Usne darwaza aadha khula chhod

480
diya taake woh roshni se bhari lounge mein dekh sake bina khud nazar aaye. Woh
bistar par baith gayi. Usne apni aankhon ko saaf karne ke liye haath pheere. Kareeb
nau saal baad usne us shakhs ko dekhna tha jise woh nafrat karti thi, jo uske nazar
mein duniya ka sabse bura aadmi tha, jo uske khayal mein mar chuka tha, jis se woh
saalon se shaadi shuda thi. Yeh aur kya ho sakta tha magar taqdeer ka khel?

Imama ne phir apni aankhon ko palta. Woh shakhs jo Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ab mil rahe the
uski peeth Imama ki taraf thi. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ko gale lagane se pehle usne bouquet
aur parcel jo uske haath mein tha, central table par rakha. Dr. Ali ko mubarakbad
dene ke baad, woh sofa par baith gaya. Imama ne pehli dafa theek se Salar ko
dekha.

Woh chowkane wala look jo shirt kamar tak khuli hoti thi, gardan mein chain latak
rahe hote, baalon ka ponytail, kalaiyon mein bands aur bracelets, tang jeans—sab
kuch gayab tha. Ab woh ek simple cream rang ke shalwar kameez aur waistcoat mein
tha.

"Haan, usme tabdeeli aayi hai—kam az kam zahiri taur par," Imama ne socha. "Koi
bhi nahi maanega ke yeh wohi shakhs hai..." uske khayalat mukammal hone se pehle
hi ruk gaye.

Salar Dr. Sibt-e-Ali se baat kar raha tha jo usko uski shaadi ki mubarakbad de rahe
the. Woh apne kamre se unko saaf sun sakti thi. Dr. Ali ke zor dene par, Salar apni
pehli shaadi aur uske halat ko bayan kar raha tha. Usne Imama ke saath apne bartaav
par afsos ka izhaar kiya, kaise usne Jalal Ansar ki shaadi ke bare mein jhoot bola tha
aur kaise usne Imama ko yeh yaqeen dilaya tha ke usne talaaq ka haq nahi diya.

"Jab main apne bartaav ke bare mein sochta hoon to sharmindagi mehsoos karta
hoon," woh dheemi awaaz mein keh raha tha. "Main apni ghalti ka izhaar nahi kar
sakta; main usko apne zehan se nikal nahi sakta. Kaafi arse tak main takleef mein
raha. Usne mujhe hamare pyare Nabi (PBUH) ke naam par madad maangi thi. Usne
mujh par bharosa kiya kyunki main Musalman hoon aur main Nabi ki khatamiyat par
yaqeen rakhta hoon. Aur dekho main ne kya kiya—maine uska bharosa toda; halaan
ke mujhe pata tha ke uske pyare Nabi (PBUH) ki muhabbat ne usko uske ghar aur
uski rahat ko chhodne par majboor kiya. Madad karne ke bajaaye, maine uska
mazaak udaya; main sochta tha ke woh pagal hai aur usko aisa kaha. Jab maine usko

481
Lahore chhod kar gaya, usne kaha ke ek din zindagi ka doosra pehlu mere samne
aayega aur tab mujhe asl khushi ka pata chalega."

Usne karwaahat se hansi. "Woh theek keh rahi thi; main ne bohot kuch seekha hai. In
saalon mein, maine baar baar Allah se maafi maangi..." usne baat karna band kar
diya. Imama ne dekha ke woh centre table ke kinare par apni ungli pher raha tha.
Woh jaanti thi ke woh apne aansuon ko roknay ki koshish kar raha tha.

"Kayi dafa aisa mehsoos hota tha ke Allah ne meri dua qubool kar li hai aur mujhe
maaf kar diya hai..." woh phir ruk gaya.

"Lekin jab us din main ne Amina se shaadi ke papers par dastakhat kiye, to mujhe
apni be-kadri ka ehsaas hua. Agar meri dua qubool hoti to main Amina se nahi,
Imama se shaadi kar raha hota. Allah un khwahishon ko qubool karta hai jo aise lagti
hain jaise sirf ek mo'jiza unko haqeeqat bana sakta hai. Meri khwahish kya thi? Main
ne kis cheez ke liye dua ki thi? Ek ladki jo kisi aur se pyar karti hai, jo mujhe zameen
ka sabse badtar insan samajhti hai, ek ladki jise main nau saal se dhoond raha hoon
lekin kabhi dhoond nahi saka."

Salar ne bolte hue kaha, "Aur main... main zindagi is umeed par jeeta hoon ke main
usko paa loonga. Jaise main apni baaki zindagi uske saath bita sakunga; jaise woh
mere saath rehne par raazi ho jayegi; ke usne Jalal Ansar ke liye apna pyar bhool
gaya hoga. Agar main un logon ki tarah dua karne ka ahl hota jinko Allah pasand
karta hai, shayad meri dua qubool ho jati aur Allah mere liye mo'jiza paida karta...
mere jaise gunaahgar ke liye. Log Khana-e-Kaaba jaate hain aur apne gunaahon ki
maafi maangte hain; main wahan gaya aur maine dua ki ke mujhe Imama se milne
shayad Allah ko yeh hi pasand nahi aaya." Imama ne Salar ki awaaz sunte hue apne
sapne ko yaad karte hue ek jhatka mehsoos kiya.

"Ya Allah!" Usne apne dono haath apne hontoon par rakh liye. Be-yaqeeni ki halat
mein usne Salar ki taraf dekha. Us sapne mein usne us aadmi ka chehra nahi dekha
tha. Kya yeh mumkin tha...? Kya yeh wahi aadmi tha jo mere samne baitha hai? Tab
usne socha tha ke uske sapne ka aadmi Jalal hai; lekin Jalal lamba nahi tha—uske
sapne ka aadmi lamba tha aur Salar lamba tha. Uske haath kaanpne lage. Jalal ka
rang saawla tha. Uske sapne ka aadmi gore rang ka tha—Salar gora tha. Ek aur
tafseel jo usne apne sapne se yaad ki—us aadmi ke kandhe par ek ajeeb nishaan tha.
Woh nishaan... Usne kaanpte haathon se apna chehra chhupa liya.

482
Kamre mein Salar mo'jizay na hone ke baare mein baat kar raha tha. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali
chup chaap sun rahe the. Woh itne khamosh kyun the? Sirf unhein aur Imama ko is
sawal ka jawab maloom tha; Salar ko is baat ka koi andaaza nahi tha. Imama ne apni
aankhein malti aur apna chehra khol diya. Aansoo uske chehre par beh rahe the jab
usne sofa par baithe hue aadmi ki taraf dekha. Woh koi wali nahi tha, na hi koi paak
shakhs tha; woh bas ek aam insaan tha jo apne gunaahon par sachchi tawba kar
chuka tha. Usko dekh kar, pehli dafa usne samjha ke uske aur Jalal Ansar ke
darmiyan kya tha; kyun uski Jalal ke liye dua qubool nahi hui; kya tha jo Fahd ko
aakhri lamhe mein usse door kar diya. Zaroor us aadmi mein kuch aisa tha jo Allah
ne uski duaein qubool ki aur uski nahi; aur har mod par uski kismat usko uske taraf
le aayi.

Aansu bhari aankhon se usne Salar ki taraf dekha. Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ab bol rahe the; woh
Salar ko 'saleh shakhs' keh rahe the. Usse pata tha ke yeh alfaaz woh Salar ko tasalli
dene ke liye nahi keh rahe, balke Imama ko sunane ke liye keh rahe hain. Yeh koi
baat nahi rakhti thi, halaa ke Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne yeh alfaaz na bhi kahe hote, usse
tasleem karna padta ke Salar ek 'saleh shakhs' hai.

Usse kisi gawahi ki zaroorat nahi thi ke yeh sabit kare; jo gawahi uske paas thi woh
kisi bhi insaan ki gawahi se barh kar thi. Usse kisi saboot ki zaroorat nahi thi kyunki
uske paas jo saboot tha woh kisi bhi insaan ke diye hue saboot se barh kar tha.

Jo usko 'bataya' gaya tha, jo usko 'samjhaya' gaya tha, usse pata tha... sirf usse pata
tha.

Chai lagayi gayi thi. Uske baad Dr. Sibt-e-Ali Salar ko masjid le gaye ishraq ki namaz
ke liye.

Imama ne apna chehra aur haath dhoye aur rasoi mein jaakar staff ki madad se
khana lagwa diya, taake Dr. Sibt-e-Ali aur Salar ke masjid se wapas aane par sab
kuch tayar ho. Khana khane ke baad Salar chala gaya. Jab Dr. Sibt-e-Ali rasoi mein
aaye, Imama table par baithi khana kha rahi thi. Uski aankhein aansuon se num thi
lekin uske chehre par sukoon tha.

"Maine Salar se tumhare baare mein baat nahi ki lekin mujhe yaqeen hai ke tum usse
milna chahogi," Dr. Sibt-e-Ali ne kaha.

483
Imama ne pani ka glass jo wo peene wali thi, neeche rakh diya. "Iski zaroorat nahi
hai. Allah ne usko mere liye chuna hai aur main kaun hoti hoon jo Allah ke chunay
hue ko rad karoon. Woh kehta hai ke usne apne gunaahon se tawba kar li hai. Agar
usne aisa nahi kiya hota, agar woh wahi aadmi hota jo pehle tha, tab bhi main use
qubool kar leti agar mujhe pata hota ke yeh Allah ki marzi hai."

Usne phir se pani ka glass uthaya. "Unse keh dena ke main unke saath jaane ko tayar
hoon."

------------------------

Jab Salar Isha ki namaaz se wapas aaya, Imama ne Furqan ki biwi Nausheen ki
madad se table set kar diya tha. Nausheen ke mana karne ke bawajood, Amina ne
israr kiya ke woh dinner mein madad kare.

Jab Salar wapas aaya, Nausheen apne apartment jaane ke liye tayar thi. "Bachay
dinner ka intezar kar rahe honge," usne bahaana diya.

"Salar ne kaha, "Unhe yahan le aao, woh hamare saath dinner kar sakte hain."

"Yeh bohot takleef ki baat hai. Aur tumhe pata hai meri beti Imama, woh yahan aane
ke baad wapas jaane se inkaar kar degi," Nausheen chali jaane par zor de rahi thi.

"Salar ko Imama se bohot pyaar hai," Nausheen ne Imama ko tasalli di.

Ek pal ke liye Salar aur Imama ki aankhein mili; Salar ne jaldi se nazar hata li aur
table par rakhe jug se paani ka glass bharne laga. Nausheen hairani se Imama ke laal
hote chehre ko dekhti rahi; woh samajh nahi saki ke uski masoom remark ne aisi
kyun pareshani paida kar di.

"Tum log aage badh kar dinner karo; sehri ke liye kuch mat banana; main bhej
dungi," usne kaha aur kamre se nikal gayi. Salar ne uske peeche darwaza band kiya.
Woh wapas dining table par aaya aur ek chair kheench kar baith gaya. Usne na to
Imama se baat ki aur na hi khana shuru kiya.

484
Imama kuch dair ke liye jhijhakti rahi phir usne bhi ek chair kheench kar baith gayi.
Tab Salar ne apni plate mein chawal dala. Usne khamoshi se dekha jab Salar ne apne
haath mein spoon li aur khana shuru kiya. Usse pata tha ke Imama usko dekh rahi
hai lekin usne na to uski taraf dekha aur na hi usse baat ki. Dinner khamoshi mein
guzra—aisi khamoshi jo ab Imama ko chirhane lagi thi.

"Aakhir woh mujhse baat kyun nahi kar raha? Kya woh waqai mujhe dekh kar shock
mein hai ya kuch aur hai?" usne socha. Uski bhook khatam ho gayi thi; uske liye apni
plate ka khana khatam karna mushkil ho raha tha. Salar, doosri taraf, maze se khana
kha raha tha. Dinner ke khatam hone tak masjid se raat ki namaz ki azaan sunayi
dene lagi. Imama ke khana khatam karne ka intezar kiye bagair, Salar table se uth
gaya aur bedroom mein chala gaya. Imama ne apni plate ek taraf kar di, uska khana
adhoora reh gaya tha. Usne table clear karna shuru kar diya. Salar kapde badal kar
bedroom se bahar aaya; ab bhi Imama se kuch bole bina, woh apartment se nikal
gaya masjid jaane ke liye.

Imama ne bacha hua khana fridge mein rakh diya; saari dishes uthakar sink mein
rakh di taake dhul sakein aur table ko saaf karne ke baad, jaa-namaaz bichha kar
namaz padhne lagi.

-----------------------

Masjid se wapas aakar Salar ne apni chabiyon se darwaza khola. Lounge se guzarte
hue usne dekha ke Imama rasoi mein masroof thi, sink ke paas bartan dho rahi thi.
Uski peeth Salar ki taraf thi. Usne apna dupatta lounge ke sofa par chhod diya tha.

Pehli dafa Salar ne Imama ko bina dupatte ke Saeeda Amma ke ghar dekha tha. Ab
woh usse phir bina dupatte ke dekh raha tha. Nau saal pehle usne Imama ko wudu
karte dekha tha aur uski chador ke bagair dekhne ki tamanna ki thi. Nau saal baad,
uski yeh tamanna poori hui thi. Nau saalon mein usne aksar apne ghar mein Imama
ki mojoodgi 'mehsoos' ki thi; aaj jab woh asal mein usko wahan dekh raha tha, uske
liye yeh yaqeen karna mushkil ho raha tha ke woh waqai yahan hai. Uske baal loose
chignon mein bandhe hue the, jo uske pehne hue safed sweater ke saath bohot
khubsurat lag rahe the.

485
Nikah ka contract sign karte waqt, Salar ko ek pal ke liye bhi shak nahi hua tha ke
Amina Mubeen, Hashim Mubeen Ahmed ki beti, Imama ho sakti hai, ya yeh ke uska
baap wahi Hashim Mubeen Ahmed hai. Jitna woh jaanta tha, uske mutabiq woh
Saeeda Amma ki beti thi. Agar uska naam Imama Hashim hota, to bhi usse shak nahi
hota ke woh wohi Imama thi. Lekin Saeeda Amma ke ghar ke courtyard mein usko
khada dekh kar usse koi shak nahi raha tha ke usne kis se shaadi ki hai.

------------------

"Imama, kya tumhe andaza hai ke nau saalon mein kitne din, kitne ghante, kitne
minute hote hain?" Khamoshi tut gayi thi. Uski awaaz mein aisi sard maamuli thi jo
kisi ko jama de sakti thi. Imama ne apne hont bhinchte hue, tap band kar diya. Woh
uske peechay khada tha; itna kareeb ke agar woh murti to us se takra jati. Usne
murne se inkaar kiya. Uski halki saans apni gardan par mehsoos kar rahi thi. Woh
jawab ka intezar kar raha tha.

Uske paas koi jawab nahi tha. Hath ab bhi sink ko mazbooti se pakde hue, usne tap
se girti hui paani ki aakhri boonden dekhi. "Kya tumne in sab saalon mein kabhi bhi
mere baare mein socha? Salar ke baare mein?" Sawaal mushkil tha; usne chup rehna
behtar samjha. Jawab ka intezar kiye bagair, usne agla sawaal poocha, "Ecstasy ke
baad kya hota hai? Tumne kaha tha ke woh 'dard' hai. Tum sahi thi, yeh waqai dard
hai." Salar kuch dair ke liye chup raha. "Main ne tumhe itni martaba is ghar ke har
kone mein 'dekha' hai, ke ab jab tum yahan waqai ho, mujhe yaqeen karna mushkil
ho raha hai."

Apni baazuon ke kanpne ko rokne ke liye, Imama ne sink ko aur mazbooti se pakad
liya.

"Mujhe lagta hai ke main sapna dekh raha hoon; agar main apni aankhein kholo to..."
Woh ruk gaya. Imama ne apni aankhein band kar li. "...sab kuch yahan hoga...sab
kuch siwaye tumhare...aur agar main phir se apni aankhein band karoon..." Imama ne
apni aankhein khol di; uske gaal aansuon se tar ho gaye the. "...main apne sapne
mein wapas nahi ja sakta. Tum wahan nahi hogi. Main tumhe chhoone se dar raha
hoon; mujhe lagta hai ke agar main apna haath tumhari taraf barhaoonga to yeh

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tasveer pani mein aks ki tarah bikhar jayegi." Woh itna kareeb tha ke agar woh thoda
sa jhukta, to uske hont uske baalon ko chho lete; lekin woh nahi jhuka. Woh is
tasveer ko gayab hoti dekhne se dar raha tha.

"Aur tum kaun ho? Imama ya Amina? Ek bhram ya ek mo'jiza? Kya main tumhe yeh
bataoon ke main... ke main..." woh ruk gaya.

Aansoo uski aankhon se beh kar Imama ke chehre ko bhigo rahe the aur uski thodi
se tapak rahe the. Usne kyun ruk gaya, yeh usko samajh nahi aaya. Lekin usne kabhi
khamoshi ko itna na-gawaar nahi mehsoos kiya jitna ab is lamhe mein. Woh itni dair
tak chup raha ke Imama ko mur kar dekhna pada. Tab usse pata chala ke woh kyun
khamosh tha. Uska chehra bhi aansuon se tar tha. Pehli martaba apni zindagi mein
woh ek doosre ke itne kareeb the; itne kareeb ke woh ek doosre ki aankhon mein
apna aks dekh sakte the. Phir Salar door ho gaya. Chupke se usne apne chehre ko
haath se saaf kiya.

"Salar, tum mujhse kya chhupana chahte ho? Aur main tumse kya chhupa sakti
hoon? Hum ek doosre ko bohot achi tarah jaante hain," usne narmi se kaha.

Salar ne apna chehra uthaya. "Main kuch nahi chhupa raha. Main bas apni aankhon
ke aansoo saaf kar raha tha taake tum phir se dhundhli nazar na aao." Woh uske
kaanon mein jhoolte hue earrings ko dekh raha tha. Woh earrings jo bohot saal
pehle usko lubhate the; woh aaj bhi usko lubha rahe the... har movement ke sath
woh haqeeqat se bhram mein badal rahe the... bhram se haqeeqat mein.

Imama ne mehsoos kiya ke uska poora dhyan uske earrings par hai. "Main kabhi
tasavvur nahi kar sakti thi ke ek din main tumhare itne kareeb ho kar tumse aise baat
karungi," usne kaha. Woh muskuraya, uski aankhein ab bhi num thi. Imama ne uske
daaye gaal ka wo dimple dekha—wo dimple jo kabhi usko chirhata tha ab ajeeb
tarah se usko apni taraf khench raha tha.

"Main kabhi tasavvur nahi kar sakta tha ke main tumhare itne kareeb ho sakta hoon;
ke main tumhare earring ko chhoo sakta hoon..." Usne ruk kar uske kaan mein
jhoolte hue earring ko pakda, "...aur tum... tum mujhe aisa karne par thappar nahi
maarogi." Usne hairani se uski taraf dekha. Woh bilkul sanjeedgi se keh raha tha.
Agle hi pal usne zor se hansna shuru kar diya, uska chehra ab bhi aansuon se bhara
tha. "Kya tum ab bhi us thappar ko yaad rakhte ho? Woh sirf ek reflex action tha."
Usne apne chehre se aansoo ponchne ke liye apne haath ki back ka istemal kiya.

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Woh muskuraya, uske gaal ka dimple aur gehra ho gaya. Bohot dheemi se usne uske
dono haath apne haath mein le liye.

"Kya tum jaana chahti ho ke main in saalon mein kahan raha? Main kya kiya? In nau
saalon ka saara haal?" Usne apne sir ko "nahin" mein hilate hue kaha aur uske dono
haath apne seene par rakh diye. "Nahi, mujhe kuch bhi jaane ki zaroorat nahi. Bilkul
bhi nahi. Mere paas tumhare liye koi sawal nahi hain. Tum mere samne ho, yeh kaafi
hai. Tum yahan ho, yeh kaafi hai. Waise bhi, mere jaise aadmi kisi se kya pooch sakta
hai?"

Woh ab bhi uske haath pakde hue tha, unhe apne seene se lagaye hue. Uske haath
pani mein itni dair rehne ki wajah se thande ho gaye the. Usse pata tha ke woh uske
haath is tarah se kyun pakde hue tha. Laa-sha'oori taur par ya otherwise woh uske
haath garam kar raha tha jaise koi bara aadmi ek bache ke liye karta hai. Sweater ke
neeche, usne uska dil ki dhadkan mehsoos ki—beqarar, tez, shiddat se, usse kuch
kehna... ya kehne ki koshish karna... uske haath uske dil par hone ne un dono ke
darmiyan rishte ko mazboot kar diya tha... is baat ka Imama ko koi shak nahi tha.

Yeh aadmi usse pyar karta tha... kyun? Usse pata nahi. Yeh aadmi jo uske samne tha
khud bhi usse yeh batane se qasir hota ke woh usse kyun pyar karta tha. Salar uske
samne tha, aankhein band kiye hue khushi mein lekin agar uski aankhein khuli hoti,
to bhi usse koi farq nahi padta. Nau saal pehle jo uski nazar mein tha, woh ab wahan
nahi tha. Jo ab uski aankhon mein tha, woh nau saal pehle nahi tha.

"Ham kya hain? Hamara pyar kya hai? Ham kya chahte hain? Hamein kya milta hai?"
Imama ko phir se apni aankhon mein aansoo bharte mehsoos hue. "Jalal Ansar aur
Salar Sikander... sapna aur haqeeqat... aur haqeeqat jo sapna ban gayi... Zindagi kya
isse zyada hai?"

Dheere se Imama ne apne haath wapas kheench liye. Salar ne apni aankhein kholi. Ek
lamhe ke liye uski aankhon mein jo ehsaas tha, woh sirf Imama hi samajh sakti thi—
fikr, bechaini, darr—yeh sab kuch tha. Imama ne kaale sweater aur usme se jhaankti
safed collar ko dekha. Usne apni bahein uski gardan mein dal kar apna sar uske
seene par rakh diya. Usne uski halki cologne ki khushboo mehsoos ki—nau saal
pehle woh strong aur teez perfume use karta tha... aur nau saal baad?

Salar bilkul be-harkat tha, jaise woh is par yaqeen nahi kar pa raha tha ke kya ho
raha hai. Phir dheere se usne Imama ko apni baghal mein le liya. "Mujhe izzat bakshi

488
hai tumne," usne suna ke woh keh raha tha. Usne dheemi se uski aankhon par pyaar
se boosa diya.

---------------------------------------

---

Woh Khana-e-Kaaba ke courtyard mein Salar ke saath baithi thi. Salar uske daye taraf
baitha tha. Yeh unka yahan aakhri raat thi. Woh pichhle pandrah dinon se yahan
thay. Unhone abhi tahajud ki namaz khatam ki thi. Mamool ke mutabiq, woh tahajud
ke baad wahan se chale jaate. Aaj unhone aisa nahi kiya. Woh apni jagah par hi baith
gaye. Unke aur Kaaba ke darmiyan bohot se log thay. Iske bawajood, unhe Kaaba ke
darwaze saaf dikhayi de rahe thay. Wahan baithe, dono ne ek hi sapne ke bare mein
socha. Ab woh us raat ko apne samne dekh rahe thay-woh sapna jee rahe thay.

Khana-e-Kaaba ke farsh par baitha hua, apne pairo ko moode hue, Salar Surah
Rehman ki tilawat kar raha tha. Imama ne uske paas baithne ke bajaaye apne liye
thodi si jagah Salar se left aur peeche dhundi. Quran ki tilawat karte hue, Salar ne
peeche dekha aur uska haath pakad kar usko apne paas baithne ka ishara kiya.
Imama uske paas aa kar baith gayi. Salar ne uska haath chhod diya. Uska poora
dhyan ab Kaaba par tha. Imama bhi Kaaba ki taraf dekh rahi thi, aur saath hi saath
apne shauhar ki khubsurat awaaz mein Quran ki tilawat sun rahi thi-"To phir tum
apne Rubb ki kaunsi naimat ko jhutlaoge?"

Nau saal pehle Hashim Mubeen ne uska mazaak udate hue kaha tha, "Jo tum kar
rahi ho Imama, tumhe ek din iska afsos hoga... tumhare paas kuch bhi nahi bachega."
Hashim Mubeen ne yeh alfaaz kehte hue uske chehre par thappad mara tha.
"Tumhare paas sirf shikwa aur gham, sharmindagi aur zaleel honi bachegi. Allah aise
larkiyon ko saza deta hai; tum duniya ko apna chehra dikhane ke layak nahi rahogi,"
usne dusri baar thappad mara.

Imama ki aankhon mein aansoo bhar aaye. Hashim Mubeen ke alfaaz uske kaanon
mein goonj rahe thay. "Aisa waqt aayega jab tum hamare paas wapas aaogi. Tum
wapas aane ki bheek maango gi. Tum mafi ke liye rotey hue guzarish karo gi ke

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tumhe wapas liya jaye aur hum tumhe rad kar denge. Tab tum rokar apni ghalti
tasleem karo gi..."

Imama ne dukhi muskurahat ke saath kaha, "Baba, meri khwahish yeh hai..." usne
dheere se apne aap se kaha, "...ke ek din main aapke samne aaon aur aap dekhein ke
mere chehre par koi sharmindagi ka nishaan nahi, koi be-izzati ka asar nahi. Allah aur
unke pyare Nabi (PBUH) ne mujhe mehfooz rakha. Unhone mujhe is duniya mein
mehfooz rakha aur Qayamat ke din bhi mujhe koi sharmindagi nahi hogi; aur agar
aaj main yahan hoon to yeh sirf isliye hai kyunki main sahi raaste par hoon, aur
yahan baith kar main ek martaba phir tasdeeq karti hoon ke hamare pyare Nabi
(PBUH) aakhri Nabi hain. Unke baad koi nabi nahi aaya aur na kabhi aayega. Main
tasdeeq karti hoon ke woh Perfect Mentor hain. Main tasdeeq karti hoon ke unse
zyada perfect koi insaan kabhi nahi hua. Unke khandaan ka koi bhi shakhs unka
muqabla nahi kar sakta aur na kabhi kar sakega. Main Allah se dua karti hoon ke
main kabhi kisi ko unke barabar na samjhoon aur na kabhi itni jurrat karoon ke kisi
ko hamare pyare Nabi (PBUH) ke barabar rakhun. Allah hamesha mujhe sahi raaste
par chalaye. Beshak, main unki koi bhi naimat jhutla nahi sakti."

Salar ne Surah Rehman ki tilawat khatam ki. Kuch der ke liye ruk kar phir woh sajde
mein chala gaya. Uth kar, woh khada hone wala tha, lekin ruk gaya. Imama aankhein
band kiye, dono haath dua mein uthaye baithi thi. Woh baith gaya aur uske dua
khatam hone ka intezar karne laga. Imama ne apni dua khatam ki. Salar khada hona
chahta tha lekin woh khada nahi ho saka.

Imama ne uska dayaan haath pakad liya. Usne hairani se uski taraf dekha. Itni raat ke
is waqt, aansuon se bhare chehre ke saath lekin khushi se chamakte hue chehre ke
saath, Imama ne Salar se kaha, "Aisa kaha jaata hai ke insaan ko woh nahi milta jise
woh pyar karta hai-tumhe pata hai aisa kyun hota hai? Kyunki pyar mein sachayi honi
chahiye; agar sachayi nahi hai to pyar nahi hai. Jab main Jalal se pyar karti thi, nau
saal pehle, mere pyar mein poori sachayi thi. Main dua karti thi aur apni khwahish ko
haqeeqat banane ke liye sab kuch kiya...aur phir bhi mujhe apni khwahish nahi mili."

Woh apni poncho par baithi thi. Salar ka haath, jo usne dheere se pakda tha, uske
ghutne par tha. "Tumhe pata hai aisa kyun hua? Kyunki tab tak tum mujhe pyar
karne lage thay aur tumhara pyar mere pyar se sacha tha." Salar ne apne haath ko
dekha. Uske aansoo uske haath par gir rahe thay. Usne Imama ki taraf dekha. "Mujhe

490
ab lagta hai ke Allah ne mujhe bade pyar se banaya. Unhone mujhe kisi aise insaan
ko dena nahi chaha jo mujhe tasleem ya izzat nahi dega; jo mujhe izzat nahi dega.
Aur yahi hota agar main Jalal ke saath hoti. Usne mujhe kabhi izzat nahi di hoti. In
nau saalon mein, Allah ne mujhe yeh haqeeqat dikhayi hai. Unhone in nau saalon
mein sab aadmiyon ke achche aur bure pehlu dikhaye hain, aur phir mujhe Salar
Sikander se nikaah karaya, yeh jaante hue ke sirf woh mujhe sachche dil se pyar karta
hai. Aur kaun mujhe yahan la sakta tha siwaye tumhare? Tum sahi thay jab tumne
kaha ke tumhara pyar mere liye pak aur sacha tha."

Salar ne Imama ko chup chaap dekha. Imama ne Salar ka haath apne haath mein le
kar dheere se uska boosa liya, phir uska haath apni aankhon par rakha. "Main tumse
kitna pyar karungi, mujhe nahi pata. Yeh dil ka mamla hai aur mere paas apne dil par
koi ikhtiyar nahi. Lekin yeh zaroor pata hai ke jab tak hum saath hain, main wafadar
aur farmanbardar rahungi. Yeh mere bas mein hai. Main har mushkil waqt mein
tumhare saath rahungi; chahe zindagi hum par jo bhi mushkil daale, main tumhare
saath rahungi, tumhari himayat ke liye. Main achche waqt mein tumhari zindagi ka
hissa bani hoon; agar halaat badal gaye aur hum mushkil ka samna karte hain to
main tumhare saath rahungi."

Usne uska haath utni hi narmi se chhor diya jitni narmi se pakda tha. Uska sar jhuka
hua tha aur usne apne haathon ko apne chehre par pher liya.

Bina kuch kahe Salar khada ho gaya. Usne Khana-e-Kaaba ke darwazon ki taraf
dekha. Usse waqai mein Allah ne ek nihayat nek aur behtareen aurat bakhshi thi, ek
aisi biwi-jis ke liye usne nau saalon tak dil se dua ki thi ke usse wapas mil jaye. Kya
aisa koi naimat thi jo usse Allah ne nahi di? Jab woh uske saath khada tha, usne
ehsaas kiya ke usse kitni badi zimmedari di gayi thi: is aurat ka khayal rakhne ki-yeh
aurat jo apni nekhi aur parhezgari mein usse bohot aage thi.

Imama bhi khadi ho gayi. Salar ne uska haath pakda aur dono tayar ho gaye wahan
se nikalne ke liye. Usse yeh zimmedari di gayi thi ke woh is aurat ki hifazat kare jo,
uske muqable mein, jaan bujh kar ek gunaahon se door zindagi guzaarne ka faisla
kar chuki thi. Jo apni jismani aur jazbati kamzori ke bawajood, uske muqable mein,
apne nafsani khwahishat ko apne jism aur rooh par haavi nahi hone deti thi.

Uska haath pakde hue aur bheed mein dheere dheere chalte hue, Salar ne pehli baar
apni zindagi mein parhezgari aur nekhi ka asal matlab samjha. Jab woh bheed ke

491
darmiyan se guzarte hue, Imama uske kuch kadam peeche chal rahi thi, to usse
mehsoos hua ke jaise uski poori zindagi ek screen par chal rahi ho aur usne apne
andar ek zabardast khauf mehsoos kiya. Apni gunaah aur ghaltiyon se bhari zindagi
ke bawajood, usne sirf Allah ke naimat dekhi thi lekin ab koi bhi Allah ke gazab se
itna nahi darta jitna ke woh ab darta tha.

Woh jis ka IQ level 150+ tha; woh jis ko photographic memory ka tohfa mila tha, ab
usne yeh samjha ke in inam ke bawajood ek insaan bilkul andheray mein bhatak
sakta hai. Usne bhi bohot martaba bhatka tha... bohot se tareekon se... aur uske
inherent skills us waqt uske kisi kaam nahi aaye the-na uska high IQ; na uski
photographic memory.

Yeh aurat jo uske saath chal rahi thi, uske paas yeh dono faayde nahi the. Uske
bajaye, uske haath mein hidayat ka ek chhota sa jugnu tha, aur uske roshni ke
dhamake mein, usne zindagi ke har andheri gali se guzra, bina kabhi bhatke.

The End

492