Y O U B E C O M E W H AT Y O U

THINK
Insights to Level Up Your Happiness, Personal Growth,
Relationships, and Mental Health

Shubham Kumar Singh

 CONTENTS

Title Page
Introduction
PART 1: HAPPINESS AND MINDFULNESS
PART 2: HABITS AND PERSONAL GROWTH
PART 3: STOIC PHILOSOPHY
PART 4: MENTAL HEALTH
PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS
PART 6: HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY
 INTRODUCTION
In a world overflowing with information and self-help books, it can be challenging to find the
ones that truly have the power to change our lives. We all seek personal growth, happiness, and
fulfilment, but sifting through the sea of books can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack.
I have been through it and that is what inspired me to this book – to help you find the most
impactful insights that will transform the way you think.
Within the pages of this book, we will embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation.
Drawing from the wisdom of hundreds of books during my reading journey, I have carefully
curated a collection of actionable insights that delve into personal growth, happiness,
mindfulness, human psychology, philosophy, and mental health. These insights have had a
profound impact on my own life, and now I am thrilled to share them with you.
But first, let's explore the fundamental truth that underlies our entire existence: the power of
thinking.
Our thoughts are the architects of our reality, shaping our perceptions, emotions, actions,
and overall well-being. They hold within them the key to unlocking our full potential and living
a more meaningful life.
Ancient wisdom, exemplified by the teachings of Buddha, offers profound insights into the
significance of our thoughts. Buddha understood the transformative nature of our thinking,
expressing that "All that we are is the result of what we have thought." These words resonate
across time and space, emphasizing how our thoughts shape our character, actions, and
ultimately, our destiny. They lay the foundation for our journey of self-discovery.
Buddha's teachings also highlight the practice of mindfulness, the art of observing our thoughts
without judgment.
By cultivating awareness of our thought patterns, we can recognize negative or harmful
tendencies and consciously redirect them towards positive and beneficial ones. This practice
empowers us to take control of our thinking, harness its transformative power, and create a life
aligned with our deepest values.
The journey doesn't end there. Another Buddha's profound teaching: "We are what we think. All
that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world." These words
illuminate the creative power inherent in our thinking.
Our thoughts shape our perception of reality, influencing our experiences and interactions
with the world.
By cultivating a positive and constructive mindset, we open ourselves to a world of endless
possibilities. Our thinking not only impacts our internal state but also how we perceive and
respond to external circumstances. It becomes the catalyst for a more fulfilling and purposeful
life, benefiting not only ourselves but also those around us.
"You Become What You Think: Master Your Mind, Master Your Life" is your guide to
unleashing the power of thought and action for lasting transformation.
Each chapter reveals actionable insights that have the potential to reshape your thinking
and, consequently, your life.
Unlike most nonfiction books that have one point to make (they make it and then they give you
example after example after example after example, and they apply it to explain everything in the
world), this book cuts through the clutter and presents only the most valuable and practical
insights.
Let's be honest, not all self-help books are created equal. There are the gems that truly changed
my life, and then there are the duds that just took up my time. That's why I wrote this book to
share the best of the best with you.
You have the freedom to navigate through this book as you wish. Dive into the chapters that
resonate with you the most, exploring the topics that ignite your curiosity and fuel your desire for
growth. As you absorb each insight, you'll find yourself expanding your knowledge, embracing a
growth mindset, and cultivating a positive attitude towards personal growth and learning.
So, are you ready to embark on this transformative journey? Are you prepared to challenge your
current thinking patterns and open yourself up to new possibilities? If so, then "You Become
What You Think" is your key to unlocking the door to a life of fulfilment and meaningful
change.
Let's embark on this adventure together. The path to transformation begins now!
 PART 1: HAPPINESS AND
MINDFULNESS

1
LIFE IS JUST A SERIES OF PRESENT MOMENTS
Have you ever thought about the two emotions that hold us back the most? If you asked 100
people, chances are, most of them would say regret and anxiety. But why do we worry so much?
The answer lies in the way our minds work. Our constant stream of thoughts is usually focused
on either the past or the future. Take oversleeping for example, we might start by regretting
hitting the snooze button and then worry about being late for work.
However, the most crucial time is the one we often neglect: the present. It's the only moment
where everything happens - all our emotions and actions.
"Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary
focus of your life." Eckhart Tolle
The past is simply a collection of past present moments, and the future is just a bunch of present
moments yet to come.
So, it's pointless to live in any moment other than the present. If you have a research paper due in
14 days, all the time you spend regretting procrastination or worrying about the workload ahead
won't get you any closer to your goal.
Focus on the present and start solving your problem right now, and you'll be on your way to
making progress. Embrace the power of the present, and see how it can change your life!
"The more you are focused on time - past and future - the more you miss the Now, the
most precious thing there is." Eckhart Tolle
ACTION: LIVE IN THE NOW
Dwelling on the past usually results in regret, which you cannot change. Worrying about the
future only adds to your anxiety about something you can't control.
We can only live in the present moment, so try to concentrate on that.
We can learn to live more fully in the world around us by staying present and understanding that
we are not our thoughts.

2
ONE DART HURTS ENOUGH - BUT YOU'LL WORSEN YOUR PAIN IF YOU DWELL
ON IT
Much of our pain is felt on two different levels: The first level is similar to being hit by a dart: a
sudden rush of pain. It could be the result of an accident, such as stubbing your toe, touching a
hot plate, or crashing your bike, or it could be the result of a failed expectation, failure, or
rejection.
This type of suffering is unavoidable. We all have to deal with it at some point in our lives, and
there isn't much we can do about it.
However, most of the time, we aggravate the situation by throwing a second dart at
ourselves based on how we physically and mentally react to the first.
All of this adds to our suffering, except the fact that we have complete control over it. This type
of pain is entirely optional.
Instead, we must learn to accept the pain, do what needs to be done to heal our wounds, and
move on with our lives. The second darts are usually more painful than the first because we
keep throwing them throughout the aftermath, often long after the first dart has vanished.

For example, we may obsess for months over a failed relationship or worry through countless
sleepless nights about test results.
Why would we throw more darts at ourselves when life already throws enough at us?
ACTION: ENDURE YOUR PAIN, END YOUR SUFFERING.
Recognize when something causes you pain. Recognize how it makes you feel and wait for the
pain to go away. Do not aggravate the situation by becoming angry or upset with any other
factors or people involved.

"Only we humans worry about the future, regret the past, and blame ourselves for the
present." Rick Hanson

3
THE PHILOSOPHY OF STOICISM ARGUES THE IDEA THAT THE ONLY PAIN
YOU REALLY SUFFER IS THE ONE YOU CREATE YOURSELF.
All pain stems from resistance to things you can't change. Negative events happen all the time
for reasons beyond our control. We can, however, choose how we respond to them.
Pain is simply the result of your resistance to everything you are powerless to change.
We spend a lot of time thinking about the future and the past, but we can only live in the present
and thus have no way of changing many things that make us unhappy.
"All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the
present." Eckhart Tolle
To fill the void, we develop a resistance to these things, which we perceive as psychological
or physical pain.
When we're angry or upset, we think and act more irrationally, which almost always
results in a worse situation. As a result, our reactions to things over which we have no control
can perpetuate the pain cycle.
ACTION: ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR PAIN IN RESISTANCE.
We all replay events from our past in our minds. This causes us psychological pain because
we resist what we can't change when all we can do is fix or move on.
Recognize your pain and then move on.
“When you arise in the morning, think of what a privilege it is to be alive – to breathe,
to think, to enjoy, to love.” Marcus Aurelius

4
YOU CAN FREE YOURSELF FROM PAIN BY CONSTANTLY OBSERVING YOUR
MIND AND NOT JUDGING YOUR THOUGHTS
How can you get rid of your distress? There are two choices. First, regularly ask yourself: "What
will my next thought be? Second, stop judging your thoughts and desires.
The first strategy is based on a physics effect known as the Quantum Zeno effect, which states
that by constantly observing a system, you can freeze it in its current state.
Repeatedly asking yourself about your next thought will usually delay that thought, giving you
enough time to realize how much time you actually spend on autopilot. You can begin the
process of separating from your mind by interrupting it.
The second method is intended to help you learn to listen to your body and accept the constant,
nagging thoughts in your head about what you should or should not be doing.
The next time you make a mistake, simply listen to your inner voice and don't act on it. Notice it,
see it, accept that it exists, but resist its demands.
Separating your body from your constantly active, thought-driven mind will allow you to feel
less pain and stop resisting what you can't change.
"Stay present, and continue to be the observer of what is happening inside you.
Become aware not only of the emotional pain but also of 'the one who observes,' the
silent watcher.
This is the power of the Now, the power of your own conscious presence." Eckhart
Tolle
ACTION: ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR OWN THOUGHT PROCESS.
You can stop your own thought process if you can consciously observe it. Concentrate on
concentrating rather than allowing your mind to wander, and you will gain control.
ACTION: DON'T BE SO HARSH ON YOURSELF.
Don't punish yourself when you do something wrong or fail to do something when you
should have. What has been done is done. Recognize your accomplishment and take a deep
breath. Allow it to wash over you and then move on. All you can do is study.
"Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked.
Try approving of yourself and see what happens." Louise L. Hay

5
QUIT THE ETERNAL RAT RACE AND PRACTICE COMPOSURE EVERY DAY
Most of us tend to use the concept of 'composure' incorrectly. When we say it, we expect to act
without expressing our emotions.
Assume you are a student who receives an email in the middle of class informing you that you
have been accepted to your top choice school. You'll probably want to get up right away.
However, if you do, your teacher will simply tell you to "keep it together." But keeping your
cool doesn't mean you have to hide your emotions.
Staying with your feelings for just long enough to let them sink in, but without developing a
permanent reaction to them, is what composure entails.
When it comes to maintaining composure, it's all about being mindful of your emotions. Allow
yourself to fully feel them, but don't let them take hold of you permanently.
It's great to bask in a well-deserved victory, but the true test of your emotional stability is when
you can move past it and not get consumed by the need for more.
Composure acts as a reset button, disconnecting the thought patterns of, "I'm on top of the
world," and "I need more success at any cost."
The same goes for when we experience negative emotions, breaking the connection between,
"I'm feeling down," and "I must avoid similar situations in the future."
We can practice true composure by paying attention to when we are feeling particularly good or
bad and then taking a brief moment to simply be with the sensation.
During this time, we allow the sensation to sink in while accepting that everything is fine as it is.
We don't have to start chasing the next thought in our heads right away.
ACTION: ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FEELINGS.
Embracing your emotions is key! Instead of pushing them down, give yourself permission to
fully experience them. Take a moment to be present with your feelings, whether they are joyful,
angry, or heartbroken.
Let them sink in and remember, it’s okay to feel!
“But feelings can’t be ignored, no matter how unjust or ungrateful they seem.” Anne
Frank
“We destroy ourselves when we stop feeling. If you bury your feelings within you, you
become a graveyard.” Bernie S. Siegel

6
WE CAN REDUCE SUFFERING IN LIFE BY NOT ASSOCIATING OURSELVES
WITH MATERIAL OBJECTS
Embrace the art of letting go like a Buddhist Monk! By letting go, they have the power to
transform suffering into peace, fulfillment, and acceptance.
Even in the face of death, the choice to let go can bring about a sense of tranquility instead of
lingering on pain.
Having a strong sense of self is important, but there’s a fine line between having a sense of
identity and getting too attached. Yes, our sense of self gives us purpose in life and sets us apart
from others, but running away to live in the woods is not the answer.
Instead, we can cultivate a healthy sense of self by letting go of the things we attach our
identities to.
Every time we say “my” or “I” in regards to something, we give it power over us. As
everything in this world eventually comes to an end, over-identifying with things can lead to a
constant feeling of loss and even depression. Think about all the things we say “my” to – our
clothes, electronics, possessions – and imagine if they all break down over time.

The more we attach our sense of self to material objects, the more potential we have for feelings
of sadness and gloom. Try decluttering for a weekend and see how it can help regulate your
sense of self.
And remember, as you step out into the world, look up to the highest building in sight and
imagine seeing yourself from a bird’s eye view. Keep zooming out until you see the bigger
picture, just like on Google Maps.
You’re just a small part of this vast universe, so why let material possessions bring you stress
and sorrow?
ACTION: BE HAPPY JUST BEING YOURSELF.
Although confronting your problems can be frightening, and there can be a lot of pressure to
conform to what others expect of you, being yourself in its purest form can bring you the most
peace and happiness.
ACTION: HAVE A CLEAR OUT.
Although your material possessions can provide you with temporary happiness, excessive
ownership can cause you distress when it breaks, is lost, or makes a mess. Declutter your life by
getting rid of unnecessary possessions.

7
YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE RELIGIOUS IN ORDER TO BE SPIRITUAL
Ditch the labels and embrace your own path to spirituality! The Dalai Lama says it doesn’t
matter if you’re a part of a religion or not, what’s important is that you’re a compassionate
and kind-hearted person.
"So many gods, so many creeds,
So many paths that wind and wind,
While just the art of being kind
Is all the sad world needs.”
Ella Wheeler Wilcox
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to dealing with life’s big questions and
handling suffering.
Whether it’s through meditation, religion, or finding meaning in life’s experiences, embrace the
method that works best for you.
Don’t let anyone tell you what’s right or wrong when it comes to spirituality. The way you
choose to connect with your beliefs is entirely up to you, so take a moment to reflect on what
being spiritual means to you. It’s your journey, so own it!
ACTION: DISCOVER THE PRACTICES THAT MAKE YOU CLOSER TO
HAPPINESS.
It's easy to become so engrossed in our daily lives that we lose sight of how brief life can be.
Certain practices are followed by believers in every religion and spiritual belief to bring them
closer to true happiness.
Practicing something, even if it's just a movement, can help you ground yourself and reach new
levels of consciousness. Focus on actions rather than just beliefs.
"Religion has been reduced to mere parroting of ideas picked up from preachers.
Neither the preacher nor the pupil can claim to have gone through any systematic
study, reflection and absorption of the truths of life.
The world remains as poor as ever morally and spiritually.” A. Parthasarathy

8
LIFE'S ONLY CONSTANT IS CHANGE
When asked about suffering, The Dalai Lama cautions against the common Western
misconception that suffering is abnormal and something to be avoided at all costs.
He asserts that suffering is a natural part of life and by denying it, we only bring more pain upon
ourselves.
The truth is, change is the only constant in life and holding on tightly to what we know only
leads to more suffering. So, the key is to embrace change, not resist it!
By accepting that life is in a constant state of flux, we can open ourselves up to the lessons and
growth that come with it.
Instead of complaining about a slammed car door or a slow cashier, we can find the silver lining
and turn the situation around. And when faced with heartache from a breakup, we can find the
strength to move forward.
Embracing change and letting go is the path to true happiness.
ACTION: EMBRACE A STATE OF ACCEPTANCE.
What we resist persists!
When a painful event occurs, accept the pain and sorrow that it brings. Resisting it will only
exacerbate the feelings and pain. We gain clarity and move closer to happiness when we let go of
control.
“Day by day, what you think and what you do is who you become.” Heraclitus
“One moment can change a day, one day can change a life and one life can change the
world.” Buddha

9
DON’T FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT
Discovering your confidence starts with being true to yourself. The Dalai Lama suggests we
embrace our limitations and be honest about what we can and can't do.
Instead of trying to fake it until you make it, openly admit when you're not sure about
something and watch how quickly people come to your aid.
Honesty is not just the best policy, but it also gives others an opportunity to help you and build
you up.
When you're open and honest about your limitations, you're inviting others to come alongside
you and support you, building a sense of community and solidarity.
Being aware of your limitations and embracing them also leads to a greater sense of self-
awareness. This means taking a deep dive into your strengths and weaknesses, so you can focus
your energy on what you're good at, and seek help in areas you need improvement in.
This self-awareness will lead you down a path of personal growth and development, helping you
build confidence from the inside out.
So, embrace your limits, be honest about what you can and can't do, trust yourself and trust the
journey, and watch as you become a more confident, self-assured person, ready to tackle
whatever challenges come your way.
ACTION: JOURNAL TO GET TO KNOW YOURSELF BETTER.
Putting things down on paper always provides us with a sense of clarity. If you want to achieve
happiness, you must first understand what it means to you.
Make a list of everything. What do you require and desire from life? How do you intend to
accomplish it?

"The most important conversations you’ll ever have are the ones you’ll have with
yourself.”
David Goggins
10
SUFFERING IS INEVITABLE IN LIFE, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD
INCREASE IT
Life is tough, and no one can deny that. It's natural to suffer sometimes, but the truth is, most of
us make it even harder by clinging to poor values.
We chase fleeting pleasures, like wild parties or reckless relationships, instead of looking for true
and long-lasting satisfaction.
Or we become obsessed with material possessions, thinking that we'll finally be happy once
we've acquired them all.
But research shows that beyond a certain point, wealth and success have little to do with our
overall well-being. We need to shift our priorities and focus on what really matters.
The most fulfilling purpose in life is to make the world a better place, not just for ourselves, but
for everyone around us. When we contribute to the greater good, we experience a sense of
meaning and fulfillment that can't be found in self-centered pursuits.
And that includes our spending habits. Instead of mindlessly buying the latest gadget or trend,
we should be mindful of how we use our resources to improve our own lives and the lives of
others.
So, let's rethink our values and start living a life that's not only meaningful but also genuinely
happy.

“Happiness is not a solvable equation.

Dissatisfaction and unease are Inherent parts of human nature and necessary
components to creating consistent happiness.” Mark Manson

11
PLEASURE AND ENJOYMENT ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS
Today, people are often mistaken about the source of their happiness, but the truth is, pleasure
and happiness are two very different things.
“When a person can’t find deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with
pleasure.” Victor Frankl
While pleasure is derived from fleeting sensory experiences such as indulging in a delicious
meal or receiving a relaxing massage, it ultimately takes control away from you and your
attention.
True happiness, however, comes from enjoyment, which requires focus and conscious
engagement. By bringing your attention to the present moment, you regain control and can
actively work towards your most important goals.
Sadly, our fast-paced, instant gratification-focused society often prioritizes pleasure over
enjoyment, leading many to feel unfulfilled and unhappy.
But the good news is, you can tap into true happiness by seeking out opportunities for flow - a
state of deep focus and engagement. So, let's embrace enjoyment and leave pleasure behind!
ACTION: BE AWARE OF PLEASURE OVER ENJOYMENT.
Before you spend your money on something you truly desire. Consider whether it will provide
you with pleasure or enjoyment.
If the former, save your money for something less materialistic that will bring you genuine, long-
lasting happiness.

"A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe."
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

12
FLOW IS WHERE CHALLENGES AND SKILLS MATCH
Have you ever been so absorbed in an activity that time just flies by? That's flow - the state of
total immersion and pure bliss where all your worries disappear.
Dive into the world of ultimate enjoyment with the power of "flow"! Attaining this euphoric state
can be achieved through two simple steps:
1. Choose an activity that you're passionate about and do it just for the love of it, without
any external motivation like money or fame.

2. Ensure that the level of challenge in the activity is perfectly balanced, not too easy or
too difficult, but just right.

To find your flow, focus on doing something that's meaningful and enjoyable to you. Don't let
external factors like money or fame cloud your experience.
For the second step, gradually build up the challenge level of the activity. If you're learning a
new game like chess, start with an easier level and gradually increase the challenge as you get
better.
By following these steps, you'll experience life as a never-ending game filled with excitement,
fulfillment, and happiness. So, go ahead, find your flow and keep the good times rolling!
ACTION: FIND YOUR FLOW.
Choose a rewarding activity, big or small, that you really enjoy and want to do more of. Make
sure it's not too difficult to begin with, and keep adjusting the difficulty to keep yourself
challenged.
“The best moments in our lives, are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times -
although such experiences can also be enjoyable, if we have worked hard to attain
them.
The best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits
in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. Optimal
experience is thus something that we make happen.”
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

13
HAPPINESS IS A HUMAN CONSTRUCT AND IT DOESN'T REALLY EXIST
Western society has bought into the happiness myth - that we need to constantly chase our
desires to attain true joy. But in reality, this never-ending pursuit only leads to temporary
satisfaction and a constant craving for something more.
The truth is that happiness can't be bought or achieved through external means. It's an internal
state of being that requires hard work and dedication to a meaningful purpose.
Buddha recognized this cycle of desire and unfulfillment long ago, and his teachings still hold
relevance today.
We don't need to become Buddhists to understand the value of his message in a world that is
obsessed with chasing success.
So instead of constantly striving for more, let's shift our focus to solving problems and working
towards a greater purpose. When we do this, true happiness will naturally follow.
ACTION: SOLVE PROBLEMS THAT YOU HAVE STACKED UP AND FIND YOUR
NATURAL HIGH.
Don't let procrastination get in the way of your happiness! Tackle the small problems you've
been avoiding, whether it's fixing your old bike or visiting your relatives. Once you start solving
these little problems, you'll find that you feel a sense of accomplishment and a boost in your
mood.
And when you have free time, use it wisely!
Instead of falling into the boredom trap of scrolling social media or binge-watching TV shows,
find a new hobby to explore. Whether it's cooking, drawing, or learning a new language,
engaging in a new activity can be an incredibly fulfilling experience that brings you genuine joy.
So, don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone and try something new!
“Who you are is defined by what you are willing to struggle for.” Mark Manson
 "Your actions reveal how badly you want something.
If you keep saying something is a priority but you never act on it, then you don’t really
want it.
It’s time to have an honest conversation with yourself.
Your actions reveal your true motivations." James Clear

14
LIFE GOALS ARE IRRELEVANT, SO SET A LIFE GOAL
Are you ready to create a life filled with purpose and meaning?
It all starts with setting your sights on an ultimate goal - something that drives you, motivates
you, and keeps you in a state of flow.
Your goal doesn't have to be grand or ambitious, as long as it's important to you. It's your
personal guide, helping you determine what matters most, what you want to achieve, and how
you plan on making it happen.
But remember, your life goal doesn't define you as a person, it simply serves as a tool to keep
you moving forward. And don't be afraid to adapt or change your goal as you grow and
evolve - it's all part of the journey.
Embrace your destiny by taking control of your own story, and keep pushing yourself to grow
and challenge yourself. With a clear ultimate goal in mind, the possibilities for your life are
endless!

ACTION: WRITE DOWN A BUCKET LIST.

A bucket list is a simple tool that can assist you in determining your life goal. What are the
connections between all of the items on your list? Do they all lead to something bigger? Examine
it and draw your own conclusions.

“When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those
plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.” Napoleon Hill

“I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my
destination.” Jimmy Dean
 PART 2: HABITS AND
PERSONAL GROWTH

15
WHEN YOU COME UP WITH A NEW LIFE GOAL, IMMEDIATELY TURN IT INTO
A DAILY HABIT

Shifting gears towards your dreams can be a challenge, but with the right mindset, you can make
it happen!
Have you ever felt stuck in a rut, unable to reach your goals despite your best intentions?
It happens to the best of us. But the good news is, change is always within reach.
Think of your progress as a graph. The more effort you put into making a change, the steeper the
upward trajectory. But beware, it's not a one-time solution. Devoting your entire life to a goal is
unsustainable.
The key is to find a balance between your new pursuit and the rest of your life.
And the secret ingredient? Habits!
“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going” Jim Rohn
Transform your aspirations into a small, daily routine.
For instance, if healthy eating is on your mind, swap your afternoon Snickers bar with an apple.
If writing is your passion, start with 250 words a day. And if you're looking for love, send a
message to someone new every day.
Finding the right habit that works for you may take some trial and error, but once you do, you'll
find it easier to stick with your new practice. So, don't give up, keep experimenting and keep
striving towards your dreams.
ACTION: REPEAT UNTIL IT STICKS.
Humans are habitual creatures. The more you do something, the more natural it will become for
you to do it.
When beginning a new endeavor, break it down into chunks and practice at least once a day.

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Lao Tzu

16
IT'S MUCH EASIER TO BUILD NEW HABITS WHEN YOU MAKE THEM OBVIOUS
AND ATTRACTIVE
Let's talk about building better habits. The first rule of thumb is to make your habits obvious,
so that you're able to easily spot which actions are helping or hindering you.
By becoming aware of your daily routines, you can identify both the positive and negative habits
that shape your life. Making your bed each morning is an example of a positive habit, whereas
eating a chocolate bar every day when trying to lose weight is a negative one.
 “The process of behavior change always starts with awareness.” James Clear
To establish new, positive habits, you need to focus on the time and location of the behavior. By
choosing a specific time and place to perform the habit, you're more likely to stick with it.
For instance, if you want to work out at 6 p.m. every day, you should make sure to do it in the
same location, creating a routine.
But it's not just about establishing habits - they also have to be attractive. Habits are driven by
dopamine, which gives us the motivation to keep going. To make a habit attractive, try pairing it
with something you enjoy doing.
For example, if you love watching Netflix, but need to exercise more, try watching your favorite
show only when you're on the treadmill.
By making your habits obvious and attractive, you can create a foundation for a healthier and
happier life.
“It is easy to get bogged down trying to find the optimal plan for change: the fastest
way to lose weight, the best program to build muscle, the perfect idea for a side hustle.
We are so focused on figuring out the best approach that we never get around to
taking action.
As Voltaire once wrote, ‘The best is the enemy of the good.” James Clear

17
CHANGES THAT SEEM SMALL AND UNIMPORTANT AT FIRST WILL
COMPOUND INTO REMARKABLE RESULTS IF YOU'RE WILLING TO STICK
WITH THEM FOR YEARS
The foundations for each habit you have follows a simple, easily managed formula:
James Clear, a renowned author, has taken Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Charles Duhigg's
The Power of Habit to the next level by providing a better understanding of how habits form and
how to develop new ones.
Every habit has four essential components that contribute to its formation:
The first is the cue, a signal that triggers the habit. The second is the craving, a desire to fulfill
the habit. The third is the response, the actual habit, and the fourth is the reward, the
gratification that results from completing the habit.
For instance, if you receive a notification on your phone, it serves as your cue. You then crave to
find out what it is, resulting in your response, where you open your phone and access the
notification, which is your reward. With time, this routine can become a habit, and you may find
yourself checking your phone whenever it vibrates, without any conscious thought.
This "Habit Loop" is common to both positive and negative habits, and it can be difficult to
break out of. However, by understanding the four components of a habit, you can develop new
habits that can help you achieve your goals.
Habits are the foundation of your identity, and to change them, you must begin by asking
yourself who you want to be.
Your identity is shaped by repeated actions, and by improving yourself by just 1% every
day, you can make significant changes to your life.
Just as one paint-by-numbers does not make you an artist, one day of positive habits does not
define you. However, with consistency, you can create a daily routine that will help you become
the person you want to be.
"The first mistake is never the one that ruins you. It is the spiral of repeated mistakes
that follows. Missing once is an accident. Missing twice is the start of a new habit."
James Clear
ACTION: MAKE SMALL DAILY CHANGES TO REAP LONG-TERM REWARDS.
Believing that you need to make significant changes to your life to adopt new habits is a
misconception. Instead, focus on making small adjustments and improvements gradually each
day. Over time, these incremental changes will accumulate, leading to long-lasting positive
effects.
"Making a choice that is 1 percent better or 1 percent worse seems insignificant in the
moment, but over the span of moments that make up a lifetime these choices
determine the difference between who you are and who you could be.
Success is the product of daily habits, not once-in-a-lifetime transformations." James
Clear
"Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.
No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the
evidence of your new identity. This is one reason why meaningful change does not
require radical change.
Small habits can make a meaningful difference by providing evidence of a new
identity.
And if a change is meaningful, it is actually big. That's the paradox of making small
improvements."
James Clear

18
IF YOU WANT NEW BEHAVIORS TO BECOME LASTING HABITS, MAKE THEM
BOTH EASY AND SATISFYING TO ACCOMPLISH
Let's talk about the easy route to creating new habits.
We all know that when it comes to achieving something, we're often drawn to the path of least
resistance. If we make something easy, we're more likely to do it.
For example, if you want to learn to play the guitar, keeping it by the sofa means that you're
more likely to pick it up and strum a few chords.
The opposite is also true for bad habits. If we make something difficult or awkward to do, we're
less likely to do it.
That's where the two-minute rule comes in handy. Most habits are formed at a specific moment,
and if we can accomplish them quickly, we're more likely to stick to them. For instance, if you
want to go for a run every morning, laying your clothes and trainers out the night before will
make it easier to start.
The key to lasting change is to take small steps and make progress every day.
The law of behavior change also focuses on making new habits satisfying.
A habit tracker can help you keep track of your progress and give you a sense of pride and
satisfaction. If you're writing a book, for example, jotting down your daily word count can help
you finish it faster.
But we're all wired to crave immediate rewards, and that's where the power of positive
reinforcement comes in. Attach a positive reward to your new habit, and you're more likely
to stick to it.
If you're trying to cut down on eating out, save the money you would have spent and treat
yourself to a new jacket or a holiday. That way, you get an instant reward for sticking to your
new habit.
“Each day is made up of many moments, but it is really a few habitual choices that
determine the path you take.” James Clear
"Your outcomes are a lagging measure of your habits.
Your net worth is a lagging measure of your financial habits.
Your weight is a lagging measure of your eating habits.
Your knowledge is a lagging measure of your learning habits.
Your clutter is a lagging measure of your cleaning habits.
You get what you repeat." James Clear

19
WAKE UP EARLY AND USE THE 20/20/20 FORMULA
Are you tired of waking up early only to spend the extra time scrolling through social media or
watching the news? It's time to optimize your mornings with the perfect plan.
According to Robin Sharma's 20/20/20 rule, the first hour of your day should consist of three
highly valuable activities. Here's how you can use the rule to your advantage:
Start with 20 minutes of exercise to awaken your body and get those endorphins flowing.
Sweating not only reduces stress and fear but also releases Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor
(BDNF), a crucial factor for improving your cognitive abilities.
Next, spend 20 minutes in reflection, taking the peace of the morning to find inspiration. Write
down your thoughts and focus on what you want out of the day ahead. Follow that up with
meditation, which has been shown to reduce cortisol and stress levels.
Finally, dedicate your last 20 minutes to learning. Read a book, listen to a podcast, or work on
a new skill. The key to success is a love of learning.
But it doesn't stop there. By cultivating a morning routine that works for you, you can start each
day off on the right foot. Prioritize sleep by having some screen-free hours before bed, keeping a
regular routine, and ensuring you get enough sleep for your body.
Embrace the day and make the most of your mornings with these simple tips.
ACTION: PRIORITIZE SLEEP.
Having a restful sleep is essential to kickstarting your day early. To achieve this, make sure to
disconnect from your screens at least a few hours before bedtime, establish a regular sleep
routine, and ensure that you're getting enough sleep for your body's needs.

"Having peace, happiness and healthiness is my definition of beauty. And you can't
have any of that without sleep.” Beyonce

20
CREATE A ROUTINE YOU CAN STICK TO, SO YOU WON'T LOSE YOUR
MOMENTUM
Imagine a snowball rolling down a hill, gathering more and more snow with each turn, until it
becomes an unstoppable force. That's the power of momentum in action!
The same concept applies to our daily habits and routines. The more positive habits you develop,
the easier it becomes to make good decisions, until they become second nature to you.
Think of it as building up your own personal "Big Mo." With enough momentum, you'll feel
unstoppable!
The only catch is getting that momentum started. It can be difficult to form a new habit, but the
key is to focus on consistency over perfection.
For example, if your goal is to hit the gym three times a week, start by simply showing up, even
if you only complete a short workout. Consistency will help turn that habit into a routine. So,
let's get rolling and start building our own unstoppable momentum!

ACTION: DON'T BREAK YOUR MOMENTUM.

Your habit must be prioritized on your to-do list.
Missing a few sessions is all it takes to break the cycle - and render all your efforts ineffective.

"You will never change your life until you change the habits you do daily.
The secret of your success is found in your daily routine."
Darren Hardy

21
USE MOMENTUM TO PUSH THROUGH YOUR LIMITS, EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO
TRICK YOURSELF AT FIRST
When you're pushing towards your limits, it's important to have the power of momentum on your
side.
That's why developing a good routine is so critical - it'll give you the boost you need to break
through the barriers that are holding you back.
Your good habits and decisions will start to compound and carry you forward with increasing
force.
Of course, even the strongest of us will reach a limit eventually. When that happens, you can use
the momentum you've built up to give you an extra boost.
Just like Arnold Schwarzenegger did when he hit his weightlifting limits. He found ways to
activate more muscle groups by leaning back slightly, and was able to add an extra five or six
reps to his sets.
The same can be true for your weight loss journey, your running routine, or even your writing
practice. Try changing up your approach - have water for dinner, take a less steep route for your
run, or write an extra page about a different topic. These "cheats" can help you push past your
limits and create even more momentum.
ACTION: LET MOMENTUM BUILD UP BEFORE YOU GIVE IT A BOOST.
After you've been practicing a habit for a while, you'll need a good push to keep going.
To give yourself the illusion of greater progress, make your practice easier than usual.
Your achievements will speak for themselves.

“If you are serious about changing your life, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an
excuse.” Jen Sincero

22
THE MAIN THING IS TO KEEP THE MAIN THING THE MAIN THING
Learn these 7 Habits of Highly Effective People for actionable steps to improve your habits and
become the person you want to be. Whether it's workplace issues, family conflicts, or
unsatisfying relationships, anyone can learn to solve and improve interpersonal problems with
new habits.
The first three habits are:
Be Proactive,
Begin with the End in Mind, and
Put First Things First.

Life has a way of shaping us, but it doesn't have to control us. While we can't control the actions
of others, we can take responsibility for our own reactions, behaviors, and decisions. By being
proactive and taking initiative, we can shift our patterns and see the world in a new way.
To be effective in work, play, or relationships, we need clear goals. By reverse-engineering the
desired outcome, individuals, organizations, and businesses can work proactively toward a
mission. And by remembering that life is finite, we can focus on what really matters: our
relationships and legacy.
But distractions are everywhere, from notifications to emails. To form new habits, we need to
learn to prioritize and say no to trivial distractions - and even worthwhile activities that divert
our attention from our goals. If you want to write a book, for instance, it might mean giving up
other pursuits in the short term.
ACTION: WRITE OUT YOUR MISSION STATEMENT.
You can put words to your goals and better understand what to focus on by defining what you
want to achieve in your chosen area. Write down what's most important to you and the steps you
need to take to get there.
ACTION: SCHEDULE YOUR PRIORITIES IN ADVANCE.
Set aside 30 minutes, perhaps on a Friday or Sunday, to plan out your week. Set aside specific
time slots for your top priorities and don't reschedule them.

"Knowledge is the theoretical paradigm, the what to do.

 Skill is the how to do.
And desire is the motivation, the want to do.
In order to make something a habit in our lives, we have to have all three." Stephen R.
Covey

23
WE'RE MORE EFFECTIVE WHEN WE CONSIDER ONE ANOTHER
"Balance what you want with what others want. Be courageous. And considerate."
Stephen R. Covey
Think Win-Win
Life is often thought of as a zero-sum game, where one person must lose for another to win. But
what if we told you that working together for everyone’s benefit is more profitable in the long
run?
Research shows that cooperation instead of competition, focusing on a ‘win/win’ scenario
instead of a ‘win/lose,’ will increase productivity at work and improve personal relationships.
It’s all about finding a way for everyone to win.
To achieve this, effective communication is key. We often prioritize making ourselves
understood instead of understanding others, but empathic listening is crucial.

Seek First to Understand, Then Be Understood.

And when it comes to forming better habits, tackling one at a time may not be enough. By
developing a habit of synergy, we can incorporate multiple good habits into our lives
simultaneously. This leads to positive and collaborative interactions, and healthy and
interdependent relationships
ACTION: LEARN TO LISTEN.
Resist the urge to offer advice right away! People are most valued when they are simply listened
to. Give others your undivided attention and practice empathy.

"Listen with the intent to understand, not the intent to reply." Stephen R. Covey

"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The
best way to understand people is to listen to them." Ralph G. Nichols
24
NO GOOD HABIT WILL STICK IF YOU'RE NOT TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF
Stephen Covey's seventh habit, "Sharpen the Saw if you want to keep sewing," is the glue that
holds all other habits together. It's the ultimate self-care habit that's critical for your well-being.
It's the habit of self-care and self-renewal.
Think of it as maintaining your car so that it runs smoothly on the road. Similarly, you need to
take care of yourself to be efficient and effective in all areas of your life.
Whether you're working towards a massive goal or just trying to survive a hectic week,
constantly pushing yourself without taking a break can lead to burnout.
To stay in balance, you need to replenish four essential tanks - emotional, mental, spiritual,
and physical. Make time for exercise, nourishing food, and adequate rest, and don't
underestimate the importance of taking time alone to reflect and recharge.
Incorporating "Sharpen the Saw" habit into your life is the most crucial thing you can do to
improve your overall well-being.
Remember, you are your most significant asset, so take care of yourself, and you'll be ready
to take on the world.
ACTION: PROACTIVELY PRACTICE SELF-CARE.
Make time for yourself, whether it's 15 minutes before work or one evening a week. Rest, eat
healthily, and meditate. Relax and engage in your hobbies.

“The goal is not to be better than the other man, but your previous self.” Dalai Lama

25
TO STAY HEALTHY, WE HAVE TO EAT WELL AND KEEP MOVING
“Essential to happiness in life are something to do, something to love, and something to
hope for.” Hector Garcia
Who said getting fit and healthy had to be a chore? According to the Okinawans, simple and
consistent movements throughout the day are key to longevity.
So, put down those running shoes and forget about joining the local sports team. A walk around
the neighborhood, some time spent in the garden, or even a few arm movements can do wonders
for your health.
Of course, exercise is only half the equation. Okinawans also emphasize the importance of a
healthy diet, full of fresh vegetables and homemade meals shared with loved ones.
And if you're looking to shed a few pounds, consider the Japanese philosophy of 'hara hachi bu' -
minimal eating for maximum benefit. Fill your plate with a variety of colorful fruits and
vegetables, and take the time to savor each bite.
Don't forget to take small exercise breaks throughout the day - set a reminder on your phone or
challenge your friends to a weekly step count competition. It's time to embrace a simpler,
healthier way of life.
“A fit body, a calm mind, a house full of love. These things cannot be bought – they
must be earned.”
Naval Ravikant

26
THINKING TOO MUCH MIGHT PARALYZE YOU, SO JUST START MOVING

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.” Dale
Carnegie
Who Moved My Cheese is a bestselling parable that teaches us to embrace change and thrive in
uncertainty. It follows the story of two little people and two mice in a maze searching for cheese,
each character representing a different attitude toward change and success.
In Spencer Johnson's parable, two mice named Sniff and Scurry are on a mission to find cheese
within a confusing maze. They waste no time in their search and simply follow their instincts,
without overthinking.
Meanwhile, two humans named Hem and Haw also search for cheese, but they become bogged
down with worries about the future, second-guessing their choices, and feeling anxious about
whether there's any cheese left to find.
The lesson to be learned here is that sometimes, simplicity and taking action without excessive
analysis can be the key to success. Don't let fear of the unknown or analysis paralysis hold you
back from finding your own version of "cheese" in life.
Every minute you spend wondering what success looks like, how to achieve it, whether it's even
possible, and how you'll feel in the future is a minute you're not working towards.
Like Sniff and Scurry, sometimes it's best to simply follow your instincts and keep moving
forward.
ACTION: GET MOVING.
Sometimes the best strategy is to abandon strategy altogether and simply move in the general
direction of your goal.
Doing something - anything - that has a chance of succeeding is preferable to simply sitting.
 "Life moves on. And so should we." Spencer Johnson

27
NOTHING LASTS FOREVER, SO KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN FOR APPROACHING
CHANGES
“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the
same man.” Heraclitus
In "Who Moved My Cheese," two mice, Sniff and Scurry, stumbled upon a massive pile of
cheese at Station C. They didn't take it for granted and continued to search for new cheese even
after the stockpile began to dwindle.
Every day, the amount of cheese decreased slowly but steadily. When they realized they were
about to run out, they decided to continue on their own and soon discovered another massive
cheese at Station N.
On the other hand, two humans named Hem and Haw became complacent, reveling in their
cheese-filled comfort zone at Station C. They were so focused on the cheese that they didn't
notice how it was vanishing one piece at a time, and how some corners of it had even gotten
moldy. They were blindsided when they woke up one day to find their cheese gone.
Instead of adapting to the new reality and seeking fresh cheese, they were overcome with fear
and despair, returning to Station C repeatedly in the hope that their cheese would magically
reappear.
Change is the only constant in life, and those who embrace it and adapt will thrive.
Don't get too comfortable with the status quo, or you might find yourself left without any cheese
at all.
ACTION: LOOK FOR CHANGE.
Instead of assuming that things will always remain the same, keep an eye out for new
opportunities.
This allows you to adapt to change and make the most of your life.
"When you are afraid things are going to get worse if you don't do something, it can
prompt you into action.
But it is not good when you are afraid that it keeps you from doing anything." Spencer
Johnson

28
OUR FEARS HOLD US BACK, BUT CONFRONTING THEM IS EASIER THAN WE
THINK
"What you are afraid of is never as bad as what you imagine. The fear you let build up
in your mind is worse than the situation that actually exists."
Spencer Johnson
In Spencer Johnson's parable, the humans are stuck in their comfort zone even after running out
of cheese.
But one of them, Haw, takes the brave step of venturing out to look for new cheese, and his
situation improves greatly once he starts moving.
Don't let fear hold you back from progress. Once you find the courage to move on, the grip of
fear will weaken.
Your worries about the future may be worse than the reality of change, but standing still will
surely lead to disappointment.
“By changing nothing, nothing changes.” Tony Robbins
Haw eventually finds a new station filled with cheese, but he doesn't stop there. He keeps
exploring and searching for new opportunities, knowing that nothing lasts forever.
Life is full of uncertainty, but there's always more "cheese" out there to discover, even if we
don't know where or in what form it will appear.
ACTION: OVERCOME YOUR FEAR.
In any situation, taking the first step is the most difficult. But once you get started, everything
will improve. Maintain your focus and keep moving forward.
“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are built for.” John A. Shedd

29
FIXED MINDSETS HOLD US BACK AND CAN MAKE LIFE MEDIOCRE
"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
George Bernard Shaw
Science has shown that personality is not set in stone, and yet many of us hold onto the belief
that we're stuck with the personality we're born with. This myth keeps us from growing and
becoming the best versions of ourselves.
There are five personality myths that hinder our ability to change:
We can be neatly categorized into personality "types."
Our personalities are fixed and unchangeable.
 Our past experiences determine our personalities.
Our personalities must be "discovered" rather than developed.
Personality tests accurately describe who we are.

But these myths are simply not true. Personality tests that classify people into types oversimplify
the complexities of human nature.
Research has shown that our personalities can change dramatically over time, and that past
traumas, environment, and our subconscious play a significant role in shaping who we are.
So why not view ourselves as evolving and changing like historical events? When we cling too
tightly to the idea of being "true to ourselves," we limit our ability to adapt and grow.
ACTION: DON'T LIMIT YOURSELF TO A 'TYPE'.
Don't let predefined personality types rule your life or dictate how you interact with others.
Different people and situations will bring out different aspects of your personality. That is a good
thing!

30
WE CAN CHANGE OUR IDENTITIES BY SETTING GOALS
Have you ever considered how our goals shape our identities? Every action we take serves a
purpose, and the term "goal" is just another word for purpose.
Our decisions and actions are all driven by our goals.
“Your life does not get better by chance; it gets better by change” Jim Rohn
That's why it's crucial to understand the key components to changing your personality: exposure,
desire, and confidence.
Firstly, we need to open our eyes to the world and expose ourselves to new experiences and
possibilities. As Benjamin Hardy put it, "You can't make decisions and choices if you don't
know they exist."
Next, we must focus on our desires and set a goal to strive towards. If our current desires aren't
healthy or fulfilling, we can work actively to change them.
Lastly, we must be confident in our ability to achieve our objectives, or we'll never even consider
them.
If we want to break free from our limitations and gain the courage to succeed, we must step out
of our comfort zone and be willing to embrace failure.
ACTION: ADOPT A GROWTH MINDSET.
Find the strength to continue pushing yourself to seek new experiences and opportunities. You
don't want to be the same person you are today in ten years; instead, embark on a journey of
lifelong learning and growth.

"The only thing 'special' about those who transform themselves and their lives is their
view of their own future.
They refuse to be defined by the past, they see something different and more
meaningful, and they never stop fueling that vision."
Benjamin Hardy

31
WE CAN CHANGE OUR FUTURE BY IMPROVING THE WAY WE VIEW OUR
PERSONALITIES
Nate, a young man who, like many of his family members, had always struggled with his weight.
But when Nate saw the health problems his parents were facing due to their weight, he knew he
needed to make a change.
Nate asked himself some critical questions: "What will my future be like if I continue to struggle
with my weight? What will I be like when I'm seventy?" These questions can be tough to answer,
but they helped Nate connect with his future self and gain perspective on his current situation.
To identify the future we want, there are four steps to follow:
First, you need to examine the future you've unconsciously resigned yourself to. Consider what
your life will be like at the age of seventy. Are you happy with how things turned out? Write
your own biography as if you've already lived your entire life.
Next, visualize your future self-three years from now. Imagine what your typical day looks like,
how your job is going, and what makes you different from who you are today.
Then, write about these visualizations while freewriting, asking yourself questions such as "What
were the major events in my life?" and "What were my most notable achievements?"
Finally, start telling your new story to others and yourself as if it were already true. This helps
you believe in your vision and take steps to make it a reality. Just like Nate, you too can adopt a
growth mentality and transform your life.
“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.”
Robin Sharma
ACTION: START FREEWRITING ABOUT YOUR FUTURE.
Only by getting your thoughts down on paper will you begin to realize what you truly desire.
Make time for yourself to reflect on who you are. what you stand for, and what you still want to
achieve.
32
YOU NEED TO STOP TRYING SO HARD TO SAVE TIME
Are you feeling overwhelmed by the demands of time? Do you find yourself constantly trying to
be more productive, only to end up with even longer to-do lists?
It's time to break free from the constraints of clock-driven schedules and embrace a new
approach to time management.
Contrary to popular belief, time as a concept does not actually exist. Our perceptions of time are
shaped by external forces like clocks, jobs, and deadlines, but they are only real in a collective
sense.
The medieval peasant lived a life structured by the tasks they needed to perform, rather than by
the clock. It wasn't until the evolution of industrial capitalism that the pressure to make better use
of time at work and in leisure became a pressing issue.
So, what's the solution to feeling like there's not enough time in the day? Do less. Focusing on
the truly important tasks at hand and letting go of the pressure to be constantly productive
will lead to a clearer mind and a lighter workload.
Remember, the average human lifespan is tragically short. which averages around 4,000 weeks.
But that doesn't mean you should live in fear of wasting time. It's a call to action to live life to the
fullest and focus on what truly matters. Trying to master your time paradoxically leads to you
being mastered by time.
“The average human lifespan is absurdly, terrifyingly, insultingly short. But that isn't
a reason for unremitting despair, or for living in an anxiety-fueled panic about making
the most of your limited time. It's a cause for relief.” Oliver Burkeman
ACTION: KEEP TWO TO-DO LISTS.
Make productivity a fixed volume task by keeping two to-do lists, one for each open task and
one for the number of tasks you will work on at any given time. Only move tasks from the larger
list to the smaller list after completing a task on the latter.
ACTION: LIMIT YOUR WORKING TIME.
Set a time limit for working during the day whenever possible.

33
DOING MORE MEANS HAVING TO DO EVEN MORE
Many productivity experts advocate achieving 'inbox zero,' or that blissful state of being. Yet,
often, this leads to a never-ending cycle of email replies, leading to more emails, leading to more
replies.
Becoming a reliable responder can turn into a trap, with more people reaching out to you. And at
work, being seen as a highly productive employee can result in a barrage of additional tasks
being thrown your way. But, let's face it, focusing on one task means letting go of an infinite
number of other possibilities.
Instead of striving for maximum productivity, let's embrace the art of prioritization.
Accept that there will always be tasks left undone and choose to procrastinate on the less
important ones. After all, the key to success is not to do more, but to do what truly matters.
ACTION: GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT.
Concentrate on only one major task at a time. Don't let completing minor tasks keep you from
focusing on what's truly important.
ACTION: UNDERACHIEVE, STRATEGICALLY.
Determine ahead of time which areas of your work and life you will no longer expect perfection
in order to make them easier to complete.
“Convenience culture seduces us into imagining that we might find room for
everything important by eliminating only life’s tedious tasks.
But it’s a lie.
You have to choose a few things, sacrifice everything else, and deal with the inevitable
sense of loss that results.” Oliver Burkeman

34
TIME IS A NETWORK GOOD
When it comes to things like money and oil, more is always better. Quantity is the name of the
game and the more you have, the more valuable it becomes.
But, with network goods, it's a different story. The value of these goods lies in the connections
and coordination with others.
Take the telephone for example, the more people you have on the line, the more valuable the
device becomes. And with social media, the platform is only as useful as the number of friends
and contacts you have on it.
Having plenty of time is desirable, but it's not much good if you're spending it all alone.
The most meaningful experiences in life - spending time with loved ones, building relationships,
starting a business, pursuing passion projects - all require coordination and collaboration with
others.
Having lots of time but not being able to share it with others is not only a waste of time, but it
can also lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.
 “Traditional nomads aren't solitary wanderers who just happen to lack laptops;
they're intensely group-focused people... And in their more candid moments, digital
nomads will admit that the chief problem with their lifestyle is acute loneliness.”
Oliver Burkeman
ACTION: FOCUS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.
Instead of trying to control the outcomes of your personal and professional relationships, become
curious about them. Demanding a specific outcome causes stress; wondering what might happen
next causes the opposite effect.
ACTION: CULTIVATE GENEROSITY.
When you think of something generous to do, do it right away rather than allowing it to become
yet another unfinished task that adds to your to-do list and causes anxiety. It feels good to give.

35
CONSUMERISM BLINDS US TO WHAT MONEY CAN BUY
“Never spend money before you have it.” Thomas Jefferson
In our society, it's easy to fall into the trap of believing that our status and material possessions
determine our happiness. But this couldn't be further from the truth.
Research has shown that having a sense of control over our lives is the most reliable predictor of
psychological wellbeing. And when it comes to control, money can be a powerful tool.
As financial expert Morgan Housel puts it, money's greatest intrinsic value is its ability to give
us control over our time. Instead of spending our money on expensive things, we should
consider using it to buy time and control.
Controlling our spending can allow us to choose jobs with more flexible schedules and better
work-life balance.
To avoid lifestyle inflation, where our spending increases along with our income, it's important
to track our expenses and prioritize our spending based on what truly matters.
“We work jobs we hate, to buy things we don’t need, to impress people we don’t like.”
Tyler Durden
But what do we do with the extra time and control we gain from being mindful with our money?
According to gerontologist Karl Pillemer, the key to a fulfilling life is not in earning more
money or acquiring more possessions, but in cultivating quality friendships, a sense of
purpose, and strong personal relationships.
By tracking our expenses and prioritizing our spending based on what truly matters, we can
achieve a sense of control over our lives and ultimately lead happier, more fulfilling lives.

36
REAL-WORLD FINANCE IS NOT TAUGHT IN SCHOOLS
Our school system is outdated, designed for a time when farming was the norm, and financial
education was not a priority. To be financially successful in today's world, it's essential to have a
solid understanding of how money and assets work.
One of the most crucial things that we're not taught in school is the difference between an asset
and a liability.
The wealthy know the importance of investing in assets that earn money while they sleep, unlike
liabilities, which cost money and provide little or no return.
Another critical piece of knowledge missing from our education system is the usefulness of
corporations. The wealthy take advantage of corporations to minimize taxes and limit their
exposure to risk.
Money is not real; it's an illusion that relies on trust.
The wealthy understand this and know how to manipulate it to their advantage. They buy and
sell houses at a profit without ever exchanging actual money.
Once you grasp the basics, financial success comes down to hard work, spotting opportunities,
and dedicating yourself to becoming as wealthy as you legally can. It's time to break free from
the old-school mentality and take control of your finances to build a better future for yourself.
ACTION: PAY YOURSELF FIRST EACH MONTH.
Let's talk about investing! While it may seem like a daunting task, investing a small portion of
your salary each month can be a smart move towards securing your financial future.
Think of it this way: before you even start thinking about paying rent and bills, take a little
chunk out of your paycheck and invest it in some medium-to-high risk stocks or bonds. By doing
so, you open yourself up to the potential of reaping some major rewards.
“The poor and the middle-class work for money. The rich have money work for
them.” Robert T. Kiyosaki
Of course, investing always carries a certain degree of risk. That's why it's crucial to only invest
what you can afford to lose. With a bit of research and a willingness to take a calculated risk, you
just might find yourself on the path to financial success. So why not give it a try? The potential
payoff might just be worth it!
37
MOST PEOPLE ARE CONTROLLED BY TWO CONFLICTING EMOTIONS: FEAR
AND GREED
“When emotion goes up, intelligence goes down.” Robert Kiyosaki
In the movie Jerry Maguire, when the protagonist gets fired, he takes a bold step and asks the
whole company to join him. Although one woman raises her hand, she declines because she's
due for a promotion. This reluctance to leave the safety of a comfortable situation is something
that many of us can relate to.
But financial independence requires us to step outside of our comfort zones and take risks. We
can't just keep running in the rat race and accumulating more liabilities.
It's up to us to make a choice and take action.
Our financial behavior is deeply ingrained, influenced by the advice of our parents and the norms
of society. We believe that we have to work for someone else and pay taxes, but this belief limits
us.
The fear of rejection can be paralyzing, but we need to master it to achieve success.
The desire for wealth can be outweighed by the fear of losing the illusion of financial security,
resulting in a conflict between greed and fear.
Successful people take risks and work on controlling their thoughts and emotions.
We can choose to break free from our ancestral instincts and decide for ourselves.
By taking a long-term view and writing down our financial fears, we can begin to overcome
them and move forward towards financial independence.

38
WHEN PLANNING FOR THE LONG-TERM, IT'S KEY TO FACTOR IN THE
LIKELIHOOD THAT YOUR PREFERENCES WILL CHANGE
Compounding is the magic that turns small efforts into big rewards, but it takes time and
consistency. Whether it's building wealth, pursuing a career, or nurturing relationships, the
benefits of compounding are enormous.
The problem is, our innate tendency to change and evolve makes it difficult to stick to our long-
term plans. We tend to underestimate how much we'll change in the future and assume that our
current goals and desires will stay the same.
To make long-term plans that stick, we need to plan with flexibility and moderation in
mind. Extreme plans that require us to work tirelessly or sacrifice everything else in our lives are
unlikely to last. We must find a balance that allows us to make progress while still enjoying our
lives.
When we stick to our plans, we create a compounding effect that can produce incredible results.
Just like compound interest, the benefits of our efforts start small but grow over time.
So, take a step back, evaluate your plan, and ensure it’s flexible enough to accommodate the
changes that life inevitably brings. With persistence and patience, you can achieve anything you
set your mind to.
“Aiming, at every point in your working life, to have moderate annual savings,
moderate free time, no more than a moderate commute, and at least moderate time
with your family, increases the odds of being able to stick with a plan.” Morgan Housel

39
EXPERIENCE IS A MORE EFFICIENT TEACHER THAN FORMAL EDUCATION
In today's ever-evolving world, it's more important than ever for entrepreneurs to keep up with
the latest developments and continuously refine their skills.
What we learned in school may not be applicable in the current landscape, so it's important to
take a critical look and consider new approaches.
“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but
those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” Alvin Toffler
One of the best ways to learn is by observing others, both successful and unsuccessful, and
then trying things out for yourself.
To achieve financial independence, you must train yourself to see what others overlook and seize
opportunities when they arise.
Don't be afraid of failure. It's often the best teacher, and those who are most successful embrace
it.
Edison and Bell tried countless prototypes before perfecting their inventions, and successful
writers have faced numerous rejections before finding success.
While traditional education methods still have value, it's up to you to choose what you need to
learn and how to apply that knowledge.
The wealthy tend to be knowledgeable in a wide range of areas, but they hire experts for the
details.
ACTON: LEARN WHAT YOU NEED TO LEARN.
“If you want a new idea, read an old book” Ivan Pavlov
Keep filling in gaps in your knowledge and skills by reading books, staying informed about the
news, and seeking advice from friends.
As you gain more expertise, you'll begin to spot investment opportunities and put your newfound
knowledge into practice. So, take action, keep learning, and seize the opportunities that come
your way!
 PART 3: STOIC PHILOSOPHY

40
THE SINGLE MOST VALUABLE THING YOU HAVE IS YOUR MIND
When life gets rough and stormy, it's easy to feel lost and helpless. But there's one thing that
always stays within our grasp - our thoughts and mentality.
A peaceful mind is like a sturdy ship, equipped to weather any storm that comes its way.
With a tranquil mindset, you'll be able to tackle challenges head-on, handle success with grace,
and make firm decisions with ease. But when your thoughts are cluttered, you'll never find the
calmness you seek.
Your mind is not just your own, but it's your permanent abode. No matter where you go, if
your mind is troubled, you won't be able to escape the chaos.
"The primary indication of a well-ordered mind is a man's ability to remain in one
place and linger in his own company." Seneca
That's where philosophy comes in. It helps us delve inward and cultivate a sound mind. Apply
what you learn to your life and see the transformation for yourself. Make time for quiet
contemplation and never stop learning. One new thing a day keeps the anxiety away!
ACTION: BE HAPPY IN TRANQUILITY.
Being wealthy or well-traveled will not make you happy in the long run. Create inner peace
and cultivate your mind so that you are always pleasant company for yourself.
“Putting things off is the biggest waste of life: it snatches away each day as it comes,
and denies us the present by promising the future. The greatest obstacle to living is
expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow, and loses today. You are arranging what lies
in Fortune's control, and abandoning what lies in yours. What are you looking at? To
what goal are you straining? The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately.”
Seneca

41
KNOW WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL AND WHAT YOU CAN’T
Do you feel trapped within the walls of your own mind, with worries, fears, and doubts taking
over your thoughts and hindering your mental freedom? You're not alone.
But it's time to break free from that prison. The only thing we have complete control over is
ourselves, and it's time to take that power back. Don't let anxieties and uncertainties steer you
away from your own liberation.
"Uneducated people blame other people when they are doing badly, those whose
education is underway blame themselves, but a fully educated person blames no one."
Epictetus
Epictetus, a famous Stoic philosopher, knew all too well the feeling of being captive in
circumstances beyond his control. He was a slave, but his wisdom was free.
We often feel imprisoned by our desires for things we don't have, fear of things we don't
understand, and people or situations that control us.
But it's time to let go of those negative emotions and focus on what is truly within our power -
ourselves. True peace can be found in the humblest of circumstances when we rely on ourselves
and don't seek the approval of others or the abundance of material possessions.
Stoicism, predating Christianity, is based on logic and the belief that "nothing happens...
without a predetermined cause." This means that even our successes and failures are
predetermined, and it's crucial to understand that we have less control than we think.
The idea of predeterminism is not about blaming anyone for their circumstances, but about
acknowledging that external suffering is beyond our control. So, let go of that weight, focus on
yourself, and find peace in knowing that the only thing that truly matters is the present moment.
ACTION: ACCEPT WHAT YOU CAN'T CHANGE.
“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which
are beyond the power or our will.” Epictetus

42
DO NOT EXPECT OTHERS TO FILL A VOID IN YOUR LIFE, BUT CULTIVATE
FRIENDSHIP WITH LOYAL AND VIRTUOUS PEOPLE
A calm mind allows you to surround yourself with true friends, which is one of the many ways it
helps you build a good life.
Many people associate with those from whom they hope to gain something, such as flattery,
wealth, or status. Those who cultivate inner wisdom, on the other hand, have no need to seek
these things from others.
"Withdraw into yourself, as far as you can. Associate with those who will make a
better man of you. Welcome those whom you yourself can improve. The process is
mutual; for men learn while they teach." Seneca
By learning to enjoy your own company and fostering a sense of abundance and giving, you too
can become a true friend to those in your life. But choose wisely, as the people you surround
yourself with can greatly impact your growth and well-being.
Friends should inspire each other to strive for constant improvement and not just reflect each
other's flaws.
Trust is a crucial foundation of any relationship, but don't give it away freely. When you do find
a true friend, cherish them and trust them fully.
Remember, it's better to have a few genuine friends than many shallow acquaintances, and
having no friends is better than having fair-weather friends.
So, take control of your relationships and cultivate inner wisdom to build a fulfilling life.
ACTION: CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS CAREFULLY.
If any of your relationships feel unhealthy and are causing you more harm than good, it's time to
let them go. Surround yourself with people you enjoy being with!
“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls
forth your best.” Epictetus

43
MASTER YOUR MIND: IT IS YOUR ONLY TRUE POSSESSION
Let's face it, our fears and insecurities can hold us back from discovering our true potential and
living life to the fullest. But, according to Epictetus, confronting these feelings and
understanding the root of our disturbances is key to living an effective life.
Stoicism teaches us to embrace adversity and flourish even in the toughest of
circumstances.
Epictetus views life as a gift, with each moment being a part of a larger, meaningful journey. The
way we perceive our current situation shapes our lives and it's up to us to choose what we focus
on.
Despite being a slave, Epictetus found peace by adopting a humble perspective and learning to
live freely within it.
To achieve inner freedom, one must put in the hard work and dedication necessary to reach their
goals.
Take your mind and your life seriously and unleash your true potential through hard work and
self-discovery. The key to mental liberation lies within you.
"What Epictetus insists we should do, in order to live as effectively as possible, is
confront our impressions, especially those that disturb us."
Anthony Long
ACTION: DON'T THINK TOO HIGHLY OF MATERIAL OBJECTS.
According to Epictetus, no physical item, including your own body, is ever truly yours.
Material possessions break or fade; don't let them have a strong influence on your mental state.
“I laugh at those who think they can damage me. They do not know who I am, they do
not know what I think, they cannot even touch the things which are really mine and
with which I live.” Epictetus
44
FINDING SIMPLICITY AND PEACE IN LIFE THROUGH CULTIVATING WISDOM
AND LIVING IN HARMONY WITH NATURE
Our ability to think rationally distinguishes us from all other creatures in the universe. But
rational wisdom does not come naturally to us; we must work hard to exercise and develop this
ability.
Wisdom enables us to comprehend nature, both our own and that of the world around us. And
understanding the world allows us to live in harmony with it rather than stressing ourselves out
over things we cannot control.
Many people spend their lives pursuing wealth or status. However, disaster or hardship can strike
anyone at any time, and it is pointless to complain that the world is unfair. We can enjoy the
good things in life, but only with the knowledge that they can all be taken away from us -
and they will, one day.
"True happiness is... to be able to hope, to be free from fear, and to enjoy the pleasures
that have no annoying consequences." Seneca
If you learn to live simply, and even practice living as if you were poor on occasion, you will be
able to live secure in the knowledge that even if you lose everything, you will be at peace.
Only by mentally preparing for the worst-case scenario, including death, can we truly achieve
peace.
"A man who suffers before it is necessary, suffers more than is necessary." Seneca
ACTION: SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE.
Are there any material goods or pleasures in your life that you don't think you need? Is there
anywhere you could cut back? Living with less will enrich your life and reduce your stress.
"Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants. The
greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is
content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.""
Seneca

45
LIVE BY DEDICATING YOURSELF TO TRUTH, FREEING YOURSELF OF
INFLUENCE, AND SEEKING REASON INWARDLY
Don't waste your time and energy trying to impress others with your work or social connections.
To truly be yourself, focus on your unwavering quest for truth, free from the opinions and
feelings of others.
By taking the search for truth seriously, any external distractions will become irrelevant. A
fundamental part of living in harmony with your existence is avoiding the accumulation of
wealth or indulging in excess. Money, a byproduct of desire, holds no importance in Stoic
philosophy.
The truth, as Epictetus notes, is often far from the pursuit of wealth and success in business,
where deceit and dishonesty are often rationalized.
"We do tell lies, while we are ready to advance the proofs that we shouldn't." Epictetus
Preconceived ideas and beliefs can lead us to create a false narrative in our minds, and our
judgement is often clouded by these incomplete stories. Lies and misinformation lead to a
vicious cycle of confusion and it becomes difficult for us and others to determine what's true.
When making decisions, only draw conclusions when you're absolutely certain of the validity of
the information you're using as the basis for your judgement.
Your thoughts should be grounded in truth, without a shadow of doubt.
ACTION: CULTIVATE SILENCE.
The majority of daily conversations are about trivial matters. A Stoic mind prefers silence to
meaningless banter.
PART 4: MENTAL HEALTH
46
LOW MOODS GIVE US THE URGE TO DO THINGS THAT WILL ULTIMATELY
KEEP US DOWN
Sometimes, when we're feeling down, we end up making choices that only make things worse.
We might reach for a drink with friends to try to feel better, but end up feeling worse the next
day. Instead, we could choose to hit the gym, which would boost our mood with endorphins and
help us feel better overall.
“The thing about the human brain is that, when you believe something, the brain will
scan the environment for any signs that the belief is true.”
Dr. Julie Smith
It's not uncommon to feel stuck and unable to make decisions when we're in a bad mood. But it's
important to keep making choices, even if they're not perfect.
To help guide our decisions, we can think about our personal values, rather than just our
emotions in the moment. To identify our values, we need to ask ourselves what's truly important
to us, whether we're living in accordance with those values, and what small changes we could
make today to bring us closer to those goals.
Start with one small change that you know you can implement every day. Then make a
promise to yourself that you will follow through on it.
Consistency is key when it comes to forming new habits. By starting small and practicing
healthy habits regularly, we're more likely to make better choices in the future.
ACTION: PRACTICE SELF-COMPASSION.
Rather than kicking yourself when you're down, pay attention to negative self-talk as it arises and
think of someone you care about. Consider how you would respond to them if they felt the same
way you do, and then apply that same response to yourself.
“Everyone has low days. Everyone.” Dr. Julie Smith
Make a list of the first signs that your mood issues had resolved. What would you do differently
and how would you live? This assists us in shifting your problem to a solution and moving
forward.

47
STRESS IS NOT OUR ENEMY, BUT A VALUABLE TOOL
Our brains are like information processing machines, constantly analyzing our surroundings and
making decisions about how to respond to different situations. But sometimes we feel
overwhelmed or uneasy, and it's all because of cortisol - a hormone that tells our bodies to
release energy to help us cope with stress.
The truth is, stress isn't always bad for us. In fact, it can be a powerful motivator that propels us
towards our goals. Rather than trying to eliminate stress from our lives, we should learn to
harness it and use it to our advantage.
"We cannot untangle stress from a meaningful life. Whatever your unique personal
values, anything that you strive towards and work for is going to require your stress
response to get you there."
Dr. Julie Smith
Of course, chronic stress can be harmful if we don't take care of ourselves. It's important to
recognize the signs of burnout, such as feeling emotionally drained or disconnected from others.
Chronic stress can also lead to physical symptoms like headaches and muscle pain, and it can
make us more prone to addictive behaviors like drinking alcohol.
The key is to find a balance between stress and rest, and to make sure we're taking care of our
bodies and minds by replenishing the energy and nutrients we use up during stressful times. By
learning to manage stress and prioritize self-care, we can achieve our goals and live happier,
healthier lives.
ACTION: CONNECT WITH OTHERS.
Maintaining a social life is essential for stress management, so make time to socialize with
friends.

48
HAPPINESS IS AN EMOTION, NOT A CONSTANT STATE WE CAN ACHIEVE
We all want to be happy. It's what we strive for and what we're told to chase. But what if we've
been chasing the wrong thing all along? What if happiness isn't a permanent state but a fleeting
emotion like all the others?
According to author Russ Harris, our emotions are like the weather, always changing and
sometimes pleasant and sometimes difficult. It's natural to experience emotions other than
happiness, and that doesn't necessarily mean that our lives are off track or that we have a
mental health problem.
Dr. Julie Smith emphasizes that fixating on happiness or why we're not happier can actually
make us feel worse.
Instead of chasing happiness, she suggests that we determine our personal values, which provide
a framework for decision-making and motivation during difficult times.
Values are the principles that define who we want to be in life and how we want to live it. By
spending time discovering our values, we can give our lives meaning and purpose beyond just
seeking happiness.
And in the end, isn't a life with purpose and meaning what we're all really looking for?
 “Thoughts are not facts. They are a mix of opinions, judgements, stories, memories,
theories, interpretations, and predictions about the future.
Allowing all thoughts to be present, but choosing which ones we give our time and
attention to, can have a powerful impact on our emotional experience.” Dr. Julie Smith

49
IDENTIFY AND REFRAME THE PROBLEMS YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH
Our past shapes us, and childhood traumas can lead to negative habits. To move forward, we can
look to Louise Hay's positive philosophy, which she shares in her bestselling book You Can Heal
Your Life. She uses her own experiences and approach to help readers change their lives through
self-love.
Louise Hay discovered a curious thing when she asked her clients to talk about their problems:
the details of the situation didn't always match the emotions behind them.
While some circumstances in life are out of our control, we always have power over our
reactions and perspectives.
To address the issues that trouble us, we must first look inward and examine different aspects of
our life.
However, be careful with the word 'should,' as it can carry shame and pressure, making you feel
bad about yourself. Why do we blame ourselves for every problem in our lives? The truth is that
our insecurities and shame blind us.
Learning to love ourselves can be difficult, but it is essential. It's not about ignoring our flaws,
but about embracing gratitude and understanding our self-worth.
Many times, we engage in self-destructive behavior, such as drug abuse or toxic relationships,
thinking we don't deserve any better.
But by recognizing our value, we can start to realize that our problems don't define us as
individuals.
"I continue to explain that no matter what their problem seems to be, there is only one
thing I ever work on with anyone, and this is Loving the Self." Louise Hay
Look in the mirror and say out loud that you accept yourself exactly as you are. Sit with the
uncomfortable feeling and repeat the words again.
50
THE SOLUTION TO MOST OF YOUR PROBLEMS LIES IN FORGIVENESS AND
LETTING GO
Take charge of your life, even when it feels like everything is out of control. You have agency,
and it's up to you to use it.
If you're struggling with unhealthy habits, start by being honest with yourself. It's hard to let go
of toxic relationships or patterns, but it's even harder to be stuck in a cycle of pain.
Remember, your bad habits are just a symptom of something deeper. But you can change, and
you're worth the effort.
Don't let your thoughts control you - you have the power to take charge of your mind and your
life. It won't be easy, but it's possible. Practice and consistency are key.
You may have been taught that you're worthless or undeserving of good things, but that's simply
not true.
Forgive yourself for past mistakes and let go of anger and resentment. Only then can you be
present and move forward.
ACTION: COMMIT YOURSELF TO FORGIVENESS.
Close your eyes and state aloud who and what you wish to forgive. Repeat this to yourself until
you believe it.
"Feel a warmth beginning to glow in your heart center, a softness, a gentleness. Let
this feeling begin to change the way you think and talk about yourself." Louise Hay

51
SHIFTING YOUR PERSPECTIVE CAN HELP YOU FEEL FULFILLED WITH WHAT
YOU ALREADY HAVE
Have you ever noticed how the people in your life can have a big impact on how you treat
yourself? It's true.
"Relationships are mirrors of ourselves. What we attract always mirrors either
qualities we have or beliefs we have about relationships." Louise Hay
If you grew up in an environment where you were never praised for your achievements or were
mistreated as a child, it can be hard to show yourself the love and care you deserve as an adult.
And unfortunately, some of us can fall into the trap of seeking out abusive partners because it
feels familiar. But there's hope. You can break this cycle by recognizing your own worth and that
you are deserving of love and respect.
Once you recognize that you are a complex, multidimensional being with both strengths and
weaknesses, you can start to shift your perspective on your current challenges. Instead of letting
your insecurities and doubts control you, take a step back and consider whether your problems
are based in reality or just in your head.
This shift in perspective can help you in other areas of your life too.
Maybe you're feeling stuck in a dead-end job that's underpaying and unfulfilling. But remember,
it's just a stepping stone to bigger and better things.
And if you're unhappy with your appearance, it's time to start appreciating all the amazing things
your body can do.
It's not uncommon for emotional turmoil to manifest as physical pain, like headaches and other
aches and pains. But by recognizing your worth and letting go of anger and negativity, you can
start to let go of that pain too.
ACTION: PRACTICE APPRECIATION FOR EVERYONE.
Your forgiveness and understanding should extend to everyone, including those who have
wronged you.
Everyone has reasons for acting the way they do, but this is not an excuse.
But it was a lesson in patience.

52
HATING YOURSELF IS USUALLY A WAY OF REJECTING OTHERS
One of Kishimi's, the author of the bestselling book ‘The courage to be disliked’, students once
revealed a troubling self-hatred because he was too aware of his flaws, both objective and
subjective.
Objective inferiorities are those that we can confirm, like lacking height or money. But
subjective inferiorities are self-critical beliefs, often entirely fabricated.
In this instance, the young man was creating reasons to hate himself to avoid being hurt by
others. Kishimi helped him realize that his loneliness was the root cause of his misery, not any
actual shortcomings.
According to Adler, the only flaws we should address are the objective ones, and only if they
hinder us from achieving our goals. But subjective ones are mere illusions and we should
examine them before deeming ourselves unworthy.
An excellent remedy for this problem is to "love yourself like your life depends on it," as
Kamal Ravikant puts it.
53
COMPETITIVE MINDSETS DESTROY OUR MENTAL HEALTH
Comparison is often described as the thief of joy, but it's also the gateway to misery. Mark Twain
recognized this, and it's a concept that's been further developed by the 20th-century psychologist,
Alfred Adler.
In Adler's view, the competitive nature of modern societies can be harmful to our mental health
and wellbeing.
This is a topic that has been hotly debated in discussions on Western versus Eastern cultures.
Countries like Japan and China are known for their emphasis on cooperation, whereas the U.S.
and Germany tend to prioritize individualistic ideas of success.
However, the problem with a narrow, competitive mindset is that it can never truly lead to
happiness. If you believe that you need to be the best at everything to find fulfillment -
whether it's making money, gaining social media likes, or having a lot of friends - you'll
always feel anxious and unfulfilled.
Adler believed that the true purpose of psychology was to help individuals become courageous.
By letting go of a competitive mindset and embracing abundance, you'll never feel like anyone is
holding you back.
There's enough success to go around for everyone, and as long as you focus on improving
yourself, you can achieve anything.
ACTION: COOPERATE MORE WITH OTHERS.
Imagine life as a team sport. While individual achievements can be rewarding, working with
others and accomplishing goals together is what makes the game of life truly satisfying.
Cooperation not only helps you form deeper connections with those around you but also boosts
your own self-esteem. Don't let individualistic thinking limit your potential for growth and
fulfillment.
Be open to receiving positive feedback and constructive criticism from others. It's a key
ingredient to personal and interpersonal success. So, let go of that "me, myself, and I" mentality
and embrace the power of teamwork. Together, we can achieve greatness.

54
THE 4 HABITS OF EMOTIONALLY STRONG PEOPLE
Most people hear the term emotionally strong and assume that it means the ability to ignore your
emotions or not feel them. But that’s dead wrong…
“Emotional strength isn’t about getting rid of difficult feelings - it means you know
how to respond to them in a healthy way.”
1. Control your attention, not your emotions
Emotions aren’t under our direct control. When you try to control things, you don’t have control
over — like your feelings — you’ll only create more pain and suffering for yourself in the long
run. If you want to be more emotionally strong, validate your emotions and control your
attention.
“Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that
you are alive.” Charlotte Brontë
2. Practice compassionate self-talk
When you respond to painful emotions with negative self-talk, you train your brain to be
ashamed of feeling bad. True emotional strength comes from gentleness, not criticism.
“Words matter. And the words that matter most are the ones you say to yourself.”
David Taylor-Klaus
3. Use values, not feelings, to make decisions
Your emotions will lead you astray just as often as they will guide you. Listen to all your
emotions but don’t blindly take orders from them.
4. Set (and enforce) healthy boundaries
Emotionally strong people know that you can’t be emotionally healthy if you never stand up for
yourself and your own wants and needs. Just because it feels bad doesn’t mean it is bad.
“'No' is a complete sentence.”
Annie Lamott
 PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS

55
LOVE IS MADE UP OF JOY, EQUANIMITY, COMPASSION, AND LOVING-
KINDNESS
Love is about much more than finding an attractive and successful mate.
To understand love, you must first understand its four main characteristics: joy, equanimity,
and compassion and loving-kindness.
Joy is all about experiencing deep and lasting happiness. When we are filled with joy, we want
to share it with others.
Equanimity is also referred to as inclusiveness. This trait entails the ability to blur the lines
between yourself and another person so that their suffering becomes your suffering.
Compassion enables us to see and comprehend suffering. This improves our ability to listen and
empathize.
Loving-kindness is the practice of using mindfulness to make others happy. This characteristic
enables us to bring joy to even the most depressed heart.
True love is not about acquiring something, but rather about being able to recognize and
comprehend another person's pain.
ACTION: BE GENEROUS.
When you're happy, share it with others. Allow your light to shine on others so that they can be
happier as well.
"The art of happiness is also the art of suffering well.
When we learn to acknowledge, embrace, and understand our suffering, we suffer
much less...
There is no place where there is only happiness and no suffering." Thich Nhat Hanh

56
WE CAN'T CONNECT TO OTHERS IF WE ARE DISCONNECTED FROM
OURSELVES
Despite our many connections, many of us feel lonely and anxious. Our phones and social media
may seem like they help us stay in touch, but they also provide a convenient escape from
confronting our thoughts and feelings.
In today's fast-paced world, distractions are everywhere. From our demanding work schedules to
the constant barrage of media and technology, it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle.
The key to connecting with others lies within ourselves. To truly understand others, we must
first learn to listen to and understand ourselves.
Instead of seeking comfort in our work, social media, or relationships, we must find peace within
ourselves.
"It is so important to come home to ourselves and cease being the victims of our own
circumstances." Thich Nhat Hanh
 "When we come back to ourselves...and take refuge in our inner island, we become a
home for ourselves and a refuge for others at the same time." Thich Nhat Hanh
By becoming at peace with who we are, approaching our emotions with curiosity instead of
judgment, and learning to build meaningful relationships, we can help those around us and live a
fulfilling life.
ACTION: TAKE A BREAK FROM SOCIAL MEDIA.
Take a break if you use social media to avoid unpleasant thoughts or feelings. Delete the apps
over the weekend, or temporarily deactivate your account.
“The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.” Marcus Aurelius

57
RECONNECTING WITH OUR BODIES GROUNDS US IN THE PRESENT MOMENT
Our modern way of life contributes significantly to a disconnect between our minds and bodies.
We are physically present while sitting in our offices or working on our laptops, but our minds
wander.
We spend so much time ruminating on the past or worrying about the future that we forget to
appreciate the beauty of the present moment.
The best way to ground ourselves in the present moment is to learn how to become aware of our
bodies through meditation.
"You shouldn't immerse yourself so completely in work that you get drowned in it.
You should have time to live, to get in touch with the refreshing and healing elements
that are in you and around you."
Paying attention to our posture, breathing mindfully, and scanning our bodies without judgement
for discomfort helps to bring our minds back to where we are physically and gives us a sense of
calm.
"The best way of taking care of the future is to take care of the present, because the
future is made of the present." Thich Nhat Hanh
When we can appreciate the beauty around us, as well as all of the wonderful and complex tasks
our bodies perform in each moment, we can begin to put our daily problems into perspective.
When our minds and bodies are at ease in the present, the past and future can no longer
overwhelm us.
ACTION: GROUND YOURSELF IN YOUR BREATH.
Close your eyes and focus on your breathing when you're feeling overwhelmed. As you inhale
and exhale, try counting or repeating positive mantras.
58
IF YOU WANT YOUR LOVE TO GROW AND FLOURISH, NOURISH IT WITH
HAPPINESS AND SHARE IT WITH OTHERS
Consider adding a teaspoon of salt to your glass of water. It would be nearly impossible to drink.
And consider throwing that spoonful of salt into a river. It won't make much of a difference.
Similarly, if our hearts are small and closed, we are easily upset by the mistakes and flaws of
others. However, if we open our hearts, we will discover empathy and compassion for our fellow
humans.
“Understanding someone's suffering is the best gift you can give another person.
Understanding is love's other name. If you don't understand, you can't love." Thich
Nhat Hanh
It's as simple as that: love requires nourishment. Happiness is the source of that
nourishment.
Only when you are content can you truly open your heart and love others. Zen Buddhism teaches
us about happiness and how to achieve it. We sometimes believe that happiness will come to us
through materialistic desires. True happiness, on the other hand, is the result of mindfulness.
Walking is a quick exercise that can help you experience happiness through mindfulness. Instead
of focusing on the destination and rushing, consider the movement of your body and the beauty
of your surroundings.
When you practice mindfulness, you will notice beauty in the simplest of things, such as a
flower in bloom.
Pay attention to your surroundings and your body, as well as your movement. Take everything
in. That is how you will find true happiness. When you find happiness in the present moment,
you can share it with others and help them find happiness as well.

59
MINDFUL MEDITATION HELPS US BUILD COMPASSION FOR OURSELVES AND
OTHERS
Mindfulness does not imply mastering difficult yoga postures or sitting silently for long periods
of time. Meditation is not meant to be difficult, and there are numerous ways to incorporate it
into our daily lives.
We can start doing breathing exercises between stressful meetings or phone calls, or we can learn
to walk mindfully and incorporate it into our daily commute.
We can live our daily life seeing everything in the light of interbeing.
When we begin to see ourselves as interconnected with the rest of the world, our problems
become less significant in comparison to those of others. Recognizing that we are a part of the
Earth allows us to share in its beauty as well as its suffering.
Mindfulness helps us connect with others while also developing compassion for ourselves.
Meditative practice on a daily basis improves our empathy and resilience. We begin to heal from
past trauma and find joy in the present as we become more at ease with our own bodies and
practice compassion for our minds.
ACTION: ADD MINDFULNESS PRACTICES TO YOUR DAILY ROUTINE.
No matter how hectic your schedule is, try to incorporate meditation into your daily routine.
Mindful walking, mindful eating, and breathing exercises can help you relax your body and
reduce workplace stress.

60
MINDFUL LOVE AND CONNECTION HEAL OUR HEARTS
Unleash the Power of Mindful Love!
Have you ever stopped to think about the word "love"? It's a word that we often use so casually,
from "I love ice cream" to "I love my friends". But true love is so much more than just a word.
By being mindful of our use of "love", we can restore its true significance. Mindful love is all-
encompassing, embracing the good and the bad in a person, without judgment.
Imagine the impact we could have if we suspended our tendencies to judge and reject, and
instead, become healers. The ancient Sanskrit word for compassion, karuna, embodies this idea.
It goes beyond empathy and means to do everything in our power to alleviate another's suffering.
Think of it like medicine. When you go to the doctor, you don't just want them to understand
your pain, you want them to do something about it, to heal you. Love is similar in this way. It not
only helps us understand someone's pain, but gives us the power to heal them.
But here's the thing, love is a two-way street.
It takes effort and compassion from both sides to truly heal and bring happiness to each other's
lives. Embrace the power of mindful love today!
ACTION: PARTNERS MUST BE HEALERS.
This means that if you are in pain, you must sometimes seek assistance. This can be difficult, but
asking your partner for help is the only way to achieve mutual healing.
PART 6: HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY
61
WE OFTEN FAVOR FEELING RIGHT OVER BEING RIGHT
Looking to express our individuality and make our mark in the world, we often let our beliefs
and opinions define who we are. But have you ever stopped to ask yourself why you hold the
opinions you do?
It's easy to spot emotional bias in others, but when it comes to our own views, we might not be
so aware. How we process information and arrive at our beliefs is influenced by different modes
of thinking.
In 'preacher' mode, we spread the word and defend our position passionately.
In 'prosecutor' mode, we attack opposing beliefs and pick them apart.
In 'politician' mode, popularity trumps accuracy, while in 'scientist' mode, we question
everything, seeking evidence and being open to revising our beliefs in light of new data.
A recent study of start-up founders is a prime example of the power of adopting a scientific
approach. Those who received entrepreneurship training that emphasized scientific thinking
earned 40 times more than those who received conventional business training after just one year!
Even the most innovative businesses and leaders can be held back by clinging to outdated
beliefs. Just think of BlackBerry's founder, Mike Lazaridis, who refused to embrace the touch-
screen iPhone and stuck with physical keyboards, or Steve Jobs, who initially dismissed the idea
of putting a computer in a phone.
In both cases, they would have been better served by questioning their assumptions and being
open to change.
ACTION: THINK MORE LIKE A SCIENTIST.
Practice valuing data over assumptions and truth over popular opinion.
Let people know it's okay to challenge received wisdom. Create a culture of questioning at work
and at home.
Encourage others to question their own beliefs.

62
CONFIDENT HUMILITY IS THE DOORWAY TO WISDOM AND SUCCESS
In a world where certainty is praised and praised as a symbol of power, it's easy to forget that
true strength lies in being open to new perspectives.
"Being wrong is the only way I feel sure I've learned anything" Daniel Kahneman
From brilliant scientists and artists to great leaders and presidents, the common denominator of
success is their ability to embrace cognitive flexibility and consider every angle before making a
decision.
"Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change
anything." This quote by George Bernard Shaw perfectly captures the importance of being able
to adapt to new ideas.
In fact, Good Judgment Project's regular forecasting tournaments have shown that those who are
willing to revise their forecasts regularly are more likely to make accurate predictions.
Franklin D. Roosevelt, the President of the United States, was a firm believer in the power of
experimentation and wasn't afraid to experiment with bold, persistent change.
He trusted that the public would follow his lead, and that trust led to his election as President
four times.
Sometimes, emphasizing what will not change is the most effective way to persuade people to
embrace change.
ACTION: DEFINE YOURSELF BY YOUR VALUES RATHER THAN YOUR
OPINIONS.
Examine what really matters to you, then appraise your opinions accordingly.
ACTION: INVITE PEOPLE TO QUESTION YOUR THINKING.
Set up a 'challenge network' of supportive friends who can pressure-test your views.

63
YOUR PAST DOESN'T DETERMINE YOUR FUTURE
“Don’t let yourself controlled by three things: people, money, or past experience.”
Anonymous
Let's dive into the fascinating world of psychology and explore the opposing views of Sigmund
Freud and Alfred Adler on the impact of childhood experiences on our lives.
Freud believed that our self-image is deeply rooted in our psyche from an early age, and negative
experiences can lead to ongoing struggles throughout our lives. He suggested that we spend
much of our adult life trying to overcome the limiting beliefs and trauma of our past.
On the other hand, Adler saw things differently. While he acknowledged that our style of life is
formed early on, he didn't believe it was a fixed point of our character. He argued that we can
change who we are at any given moment.
But here's the catch: even if you can trace all your flaws back to a few instances in your
childhood, you won't be able to change them in the present unless you believe that something
different can happen.
You have the power to choose a new outlook and break free from old patterns at any time.
ACTION: TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN DESTINY.
The key to your own happiness lies within yourself and not in the hands of others. By prioritizing
yourself and living in the present moment, you can experience a positive transformation in your
life.
Remember that you can only alter the present, but that power to make a difference is entirely
yours.
“Everyone thinks of changing the world but no one thinks of changing himself.”
Leo Tolstoy

64
SOCIAL PRESSURES CAN WORK AGAINST US
"We all fool ourselves from time to time in order to keep our thoughts and beliefs
consistent with what we have already done or decided"
Robert Cialdini
Have you ever left a restaurant feeling a little more satisfied after being given a piece of
chocolate for free with your bill? These gestures might seem like acts of kindness, but they’re
actually playing by the rule of reciprocation.
When someone does us a favor or gifts us something, it’s human nature to feel obligated to
return the favor to avoid the guilt of not doing so. We also have a social responsibility to repay
kindness, as those who don’t can be perceived as taking advantage of others.
Our ancestors shared food and tools knowing that they would receive something in return.
Today, businesses use the rule of reciprocation to their advantage, but it’s not just about
receiving, it’s about being seen as good and honest.
This is where the consistency principle comes in. When we make a commitment, we follow
through, even if it puts us or our reputation in danger, because we want to align our actions with
our words.
Have you ever been approached by a salesperson who’s convinced you to make a small
purchase? This is known as the ‘foot-in-the-door’ technique and it’s a sneaky way to exploit the
principle of consistency.
A small initial purchase establishes a person as a customer, making them more likely to commit
to spending more money in the future.
“Our best evidence of what people truly feel and believe comes less from their words
than from their deeds.” Robert Cialdini
ACTION: THINK BEFORE YOU RECIPROCATE.
Although it is appropriate to return genuine favors, always think twice before doing so in a
business setting.
Do you really want that gym membership, or are you just getting it as a freebie from the gym?

65
BECAUSE WE HATE TO MISS OUT ON OPPORTUNITIES, SCARCITY MAKES US
ACT
"People seem to be more motivated by the thought of losing something than by the
thought of gaining something of equal value." Robert Cialdini
Humans despise missing out, which is why we are much more likely to purchase something if it
is only available for a limited time. we perceive limited items to be more valuable. This is the
scarcity principle at work.
Businesses use scarcity to increase sales through limited-time promotions and sales.
In one 1982 study, people purchased three times as much when told it was part of a limited-time
sale as they would if there was no limit. Shoppers also purchased six times more meat when told
that they were the only ones who knew about the sale - the limited availability of the sale,
combined with the limited knowledge, drove them to buy more.
Scarcity is most powerful when availability has recently and unexpectedly decreased and there is
competition for the available items. This is why people pay more at auctions when they know
others are bidding.
When you go to buy something because it's on sale for a limited time or you're told there are only
a few left, consider whether you really want it or if you're being duped.
We are more likely to do things if we see others doing them, just as competition makes us
want something more because it is socially desirable. This is the social proof principle at work.
We are more likely to laugh at a bad joke if others are laughing, and we are more likely to donate
to charity if there are coins in the bucket already.
Companies use this principle to promote products by saying they are 'best-sellers.
When we understand the tools that people use to manipulate us, we can take a step back
when we see them being used against us.

66
WE ARE MORE LIKELY TO COMPLY WITH AUTHORITY FIGURES AND PEOPLE
WE LIKE
Would you buy a product from a stranger on the street? Probably not. But what if it's your friend
who's starting a business? Chances are, you'll give it a try.
This is the likability principle in action. Our innate preference for likeable people is easily
exploitable, especially by salespeople who know how to flatter and make themselves relatable to
us.
But it's not just our friends who can influence us. Our perception of someone's appearance also
matters. We tend to assume that good-looking people are friendly and smart, even if it's a
flawed assumption.
On the other hand, the principle of authority is equally powerful. From early childhood, we look
to authority figures for guidance and direction, often without questioning their motives. This can
lead us to blindly follow their commands, even if we don't like them.
However, it's important to remember that not all authority figures have our best interests at heart.
Before following their instructions, take a moment to reflect and ensure that their requests align
with our values and beliefs. After all, we are the masters of our own destiny.
"The world abounds with cults populated by dependent people who are led by a
charismatic figure."
Robert Cialdini
ACTION: LOOK OUT FOR WILY SALESPEOPLE.
If you want to buy something, be aware of who is selling it to you. Are they being overly nice,
flattering, or relatable despite the fact that they don't know you?
If this is the case, they are most likely attempting to manipulate you.

INSIGHT 67
OUR BEHAVIORS ARE GOVERNED BY TWO SYSTEMS OF THINKING
Why do we trust some people intuitively more than others when there is no prior basis for that
trust? What unconscious biases influence our worldviews and assumptions?
Daniel Kahneman, a Nobel Prize-winning economist and psychologist, unravel the mysteries of
the human mind as he explores the dual processes of thinking in his book "Thinking, Fast and
Slow". Kahneman provides a captivating insight into decision-making, uncertainty, and
behavioral economics.
"Nothing in life is as important as you think it is, while you are thinking about it."
 Daniel Kahneman
As explained by Daniel Kahneman, System 1 is your fast thinking, intuitive, automatic and
emotional self - quickly determining distances and processing impressions.
On the other hand, System 2 is your slow thinking, deliberate, analytical and reason-driven self,
helping you find solutions to complex problems.
Intuition is the foundation of our decisions, created by the memory function in our mind that
builds up over time. System 1 takes this intuition and forms patterns, while System 2 makes
sense of these patterns.
The two systems work together to make our choices and judgments, with System 1 providing the
foundation and System 2 adding order and logic.
Although System 1 is prone to cognitive biases, it has played an important role in our
evolutionary history, helping us make quick decisions in life-threatening situations. Don't
underestimate the power of your intuition, as System 1 is the secret author of many of your
choices.
As Kahneman says, "Expert intuition strikes us as magical, but it is not. Each of us performs
feats of intuitive expertise many times each day." Embrace the magic of your mind and discover
the hidden depths of your cognitive systems.
"System 2 believes itself to be where the action is, but system 1 is the secret author of
many of the choices and judgements you make." Daniel Kahneman

INSIGHT 68
OUR BELIEFS ARE STRUCTURED BY MEMORY AND NARRATIVE SENSE-
MAKING
"The confidence that individuals have in their beliefs depends mostly on the quality of
the story they can tell about what they see, even if they see little." Daniel Kahneman
System 1 is fast and intuitive, relying on quick perception and recognition to form patterns and
make decisions. On the other hand, System 2 is more deliberate and analytical, only activated
when necessary for focused problem-solving.
By understanding these systems in others and ourselves, we can recognize the unconscious
biases and assumptions that govern our thinking. Confirmation bias and the halo effect are just
a few examples of how our quick, emotional response can shape our beliefs and decisions.
However, our brains are always looking to save energy and make decisions as quickly as
possible, even if it means risking a wrong call. This can lead to our brains perceiving problems
as simpler than they actually are, and system 1 taking charge when it's not equipped to handle the
situation. On the flip side, using system 2 requires more effort and can leave us feeling mentally
drained.
ACTION: DON'T LET EMOTION NAVIGATE YOUR DECISIONS.
Emotions can easily cloud your judgement, but you must not allow them to. Examine situations
objectively.
Weigh the benefits and drawbacks, then use your reasoning to make the best decision for you.
This is especially true when it comes to money.
"Changing one's mind about human nature is hard work, and changing one's mind for
the worse about oneself is even harder." Daniel Kahneman

INSIGHT 69
OUR TWO SYSTEMS OF THOUGHT PRODUCE TWO ENTWINED SELVES
"The only test of rationality is not whether a person's beliefs and preferences are
reasonable, but whether they are internally consistent." Daniel Kahneman
According to Daniel Kahneman, each of us is governed by two distinct 'selves'.
The remembering self, which is aligned with system 1, shapes and selects the memories from
which the experiencing self draws.
The experiencing self, on the other hand, is aligned with system 2 and evaluates present and
past information to make a decision.
Think of it this way, the remembering self-curates the memories that shape our understanding of
the world, while the experiencing self-evaluates information to make informed decisions.
But beware, the remembering self's recollection may not always be accurate, and relying solely
on the past can lead to flawed thinking. Kahneman stresses that rational thinking demands a
balance of informed intuition and reason, guided by logic and evidence.
Our intuition works to simplify our world by connecting emotions, events, and outcomes,
which eventually form our identity and determine our responses. This is what Kahneman calls
the "affect heuristic", where our emotions play a big role in decision-making, making life easier
for our minds.
However, knowing facts and statistics about human behavior does not guarantee a shift in our
understanding or beliefs. As Kahneman says, "The only test of rationality is not whether a
person's beliefs and preferences are reasonable, but whether they are internally
consistent."
So, it's up to us to question our preconceived ideas and let logic and reason guide us towards
rational thinking.
"Even compelling causal statistics will not change long-held beliefs or beliefs rooted in
 personal experience."
Daniel Kahneman
ACTION: STAY OPEN TO NEW IDEAS.

70
WE SHOULD ALL WELCOME BEING PROVED WRONG
"A hallmark of wisdom is knowing when it's time to abandon some of your most
treasured tools - and some of the most cherished parts of your identity." Adam Grant
Empower yourself with the power of knowledge and wisdom, for the road to progress begins
with accepting what we don't know.
Each new invention starts with a daring hypothesis, one that may challenge conventional
wisdom. From the invention of the printing press to the launch of the space program, great
discoveries and advancements wouldn't have happened if we always demanded proof before
taking the leap.
By learning to distinguish between beliefs and facts, we open ourselves to new and exciting
discoveries.
However, our own intelligence sometimes hinders our ability to see the world clearly. Research
shows that people with higher IQs are more likely to fall into the trap of thinking in stereotypes
due to their quick recognition of patterns.
But, with a bit of mental and emotional effort, we can break free from past biases and learned
opinions, separating our identity from our beliefs.
Embracing new ideas in both our personal and professional lives is a surefire path to happiness
and satisfaction, while sticking rigidly to our plans often leads to missed opportunities and
unhappiness.
Regular reappraisals in our relationships can also lead to more positive outcomes, allowing us to
objectively assess what's working and what isn't. So, let's embrace the unknown and discover
what lies beyond our current perceptions.
ACTION: WORK ON YOUR RETHINKING SKILLS.
Go looking for information that contradicts your views, test it out, and be open to change.
ACTION: FACTOR A REGULAR 'LIFE CHECKUP' INTO YOUR SCHEDULE.
Treat your life as you do your health: examine how it's all going, and fix what's not right.
71
BEING INDIFFERENT TO DEATH IS KEY TO SURVIVAL
Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and renowned psychiatrist, philosopher, and writer, explores
the depths of the human spirit in his memoir, Man’s Search for Meaning. Through his time in
Nazi concentration camps, Frankl discovered the power of logotherapy - a method that helps
individuals find meaning in their lives, even amidst suffering.
Frankl's teachings, which emerged from his own traumatic experiences, have solidified his
legacy as a leader in modern psychology.
After observing the prisoners' reactions to their traumatic experiences, Frankl made a
groundbreaking realization that trauma processing has three stages.
Initially, the prisoners were in shock, but as they adjusted, they entered a period of apathy or
emotional numbness. This was followed by a stage of disillusionment, which often happened
after they had survived and left the camp. Frankl observed that prisoners who refused to accept
the reality of their situation were the first to die, whereas those who surrendered to their fate
found the strength to endure.
He famously stated, "Man does not simply exist but always decides what his existence will
be, what he will become in the next moment."
Accepting death as a possibility allowed many detainees to survive the unimaginable horrors of
the concentration camps. By surrendering to the present moment and freeing their minds from
the fear of the future, prisoners were able to summon the apathy they needed to survive.
Even the most basic necessities of life were taken away from prisoners, but by accepting their
reality, they were able to endure and find moments of hope in the darkest of circumstances.
Whether it was stealing a pair of shoes from a dead body or hiding in a pile of manure to avoid
being led to the gas chambers, apathy gave prisoners the courage to face the unknown.
Frankl's findings teach us that resistance is a complex psychological mechanism, but it often
makes us vulnerable to our surroundings.
Embrace the power of acceptance to discover a new perspective on the human experience.

72
FINDING THE MEANING TO YOUR LIFE IS YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
Viktor Frankl
When it comes to the game of chess, even the greatest players can't tell you what the one,
ultimate move is. Instead, each situation on the board requires a unique solution.
Similarly, life does not have a universal meaning - it's up to each individual to create their own
meaning through their choices and actions.
According to psychiatrist and logo therapist Viktor Frankl, meaning can only be found by
embracing life's challenges and taking responsibility for our own existence.
Frankl's philosophy encourages us to resist escapism and instead actively search for meaning in
everyday life.
He found meaning even in the brutal conditions of the concentration camps by focusing on his
love for his wife and clinging to the memory of her.
It's a reminder that we hold the power to determine our own mental state and find meaning, even
in the face of pain and suffering. Don't rely on others to bring comfort - instead, take
responsibility for your own mental well-being and find meaning in the moments that
matter.
"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change
ourselves." Viktor Frankl

FREE GOODWILL: He who said money can’t buy happiness, hasn’t given enough money
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At Bookreadersclub, our mission is to assist people in selecting the right book based on their
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Thank you sincerely from the depths of my heart. Now, let's return to our regular Insights.

THANK YOU
Dear Readers,
I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to each and every one of you who has taken the time to
read my book. Your support and interest mean everything to me, and I am deeply honored that
you have chosen to spend your time with my words.
Writing a book is a journey, and it's not one that can be undertaken alone. It takes a community
of readers and supporters to bring a book to life, and I am so grateful to have you as a part of that
community.
I hope that the ideas and insights presented in these pages have been helpful and meaningful to
you. My goal in writing this book was to provide practical advice, inspiration, and food for
thought, and I truly hope that it has delivered on those promises. Please share your review and
feedback on Amazon and feel free to reach out to me on Instagram @bookreadersclub.
Once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read my book. Your
support means the world to me, and I hope that my words have made a positive impact on your
life.
With gratitude and appreciation,
Shubham